Order of Man - June 16, 2026


AJ KAZMIERCZAK ｜ The Lost Art of Brotherhood

Topics
connection iron council investment caring vs. listening to opinions
Hosted by
Ryan Michler
Guests
AJ KAZMIERCZAK
Mentioned
Missoula Brandon Lilly Martin Luther Pete Rose Jennings Java Coffee Roasters Clark Griswold John Lovell Soren X Christmases Order Andy Bert
How to Forge Masculinity Into Manliness ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES Invest in Self-Improvement, Take a Year For Yourself, and Never Seek Validation ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per minute

165.43

Word count

11,442

Sentence count

401

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Toxicity

22

sentences flagged

Hate speech

25

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, AJ Kazmerzak joins the show to talk about why connection is the single most valuable skill a man can build, how to develop it on purpose, and why most guys would rather avoid the discomfort of self-auditing than face what s actually holding them back.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.440 Men, we've been more connected than we've ever been, and we've never been more alone.
00:00:05.920 Men have endless ways to reach out to each other and almost no reason that we'll actually
00:00:11.420 use them. 1.00
00:00:12.480 We don't reach out.
00:00:13.960 We don't check in.
00:00:15.840 We won't even pay another man a compliment without slapping this phrase, no homo, on 0.62
00:00:20.500 the end of it to make sure nobody mistakes us for caring about people. 0.82
00:00:24.820 and somewhere along the way we decided that the the first even flowers that a man receives
00:00:32.420 should arrive at his funeral this week aj kazmerzak joins the show to tear that pattern apart
00:00:40.040 not the flowers necessarily because do we want flowers probably not but we get into why connection
00:00:46.360 is the single most valuable skill a man can build how to develop it on purpose and why most guys
00:00:53.740 would rather avoid the discomfort of self-auditing
00:00:57.460 than face what's actually holding them back.
00:01:00.620 We're talking about accountability, discernment,
00:01:04.060 evolving without losing who you are,
00:01:06.400 and what it really costs to be the kind of man
00:01:08.560 that other men want in their corner.
00:01:11.640 You're a man of action.
00:01:13.140 You live life to the fullest.
00:01:14.620 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:01:17.300 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time,
00:01:20.920 every time.
00:01:21.640 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:01:27.080 This is your life. This is who you are.
00:01:29.580 This is who you will become at the end of the day.
00:01:32.300 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:01:37.120 Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast.
00:01:39.260 My name is Ryan Michler. I'm the host and the founder, and I'm very excited to be with you today.
00:01:44.600 Whether this is your first time here or one thousand and first time that you're here,
00:01:50.480 We've been going for 10 years now, so it's pretty wild to consider that we've done a lot of good
00:01:57.480 things. We've done some things that are going well, some things that don't go so well, but we're
00:02:01.660 trying to figure it out like you. But my goal is to give you all the tools and resources that you
00:02:05.460 need to thrive as a man. Before we get into my conversation with AJ today, I want to mention
00:02:12.320 my friends over at Montana Knife Company. AJ and I were actually able to meet for the first time
00:02:16.980 in montana uh in the airport in missoula and uh i can tell you the guy is his positivity is just
00:02:27.560 infectious and you're going to hear that in today's podcast and we were up there for the grand
00:02:32.220 opening of montana knife company you should all know who they are by now but if you don't go check
00:02:37.140 them out because they're making incredible knives all 100 made and sourced in america bringing a
00:02:44.120 50,000 square foot facility into Missoula, employing, I believe at this point, close to
00:02:51.320 130 people. And they're doing some incredible things. So go check them out. I think you're
00:02:56.420 going to like their knives and what they're doing over at montananifecompany.com. Use the code
00:03:02.380 order of man to save some money. All right, guys, let me introduce you to my guest. His name is
00:03:08.300 AJ Kazmierczak. He's a connector. He's a builder. He's also an advocate for the kind of brotherhood
00:03:14.620 that most men say they want, but few are actually willing to pursue it and do anything about it.
00:03:20.200 He's made the ability to, I would say, genuinely connect with people. His best tool is sharpest
00:03:27.760 resource. And he's built a life and a platform around bridging gaps, holding men accountable,
00:03:32.720 and changing as many lives as he can reach.
00:03:37.160 His message is, of course, very pragmatic,
00:03:40.940 but also unapologetic.
00:03:44.400 Just be your own man.
00:03:45.460 Stop outsourcing your words or your worth
00:03:48.720 to people who haven't earned a vote
00:03:50.840 and audit yourself before life does it for you.
00:03:54.740 He's an encourager.
00:03:56.020 He's a straight shooter.
00:03:57.280 He lives by a simple operating principle.
00:04:00.140 And we talk about this today,
00:04:01.860 that peace, if possible, truth at all costs from Martin Luther, but he carries his keep moving
00:04:07.960 forward mantra as more than just a slogan. He challenges men to develop the discernment to know
00:04:16.400 who actually gets to influence them in their lives. Are they credible? Do they care about you?
00:04:24.100 And at the end of the day, everyone else is just noise. This conversation is a roadmap for any man
00:04:29.300 ready to stop posturing and start building something real enjoy it guys
00:04:34.680 AJ what's up man so good to see you uh what has it been a month or three weeks since I saw you
00:04:42.140 last up in Montana with Montana Knife Company yeah no dude that was an awesome event uh super
00:04:48.180 excited to jump on and chat with you today and uh yeah the being able to connect to MKC surrounded
00:04:54.280 by great people great products the culture's amazing i mean we we had a good time up there
00:05:00.200 that's for sure did you uh did you get the uh the montana got mine right here bro tell me you've
00:05:08.360 got yours i didn't pick up the folder but i had to send mine in that generation promise dude
00:05:14.680 i got a nice little uh nice little sharpen on it and then got some custom champagne pink
00:05:21.120 paracord. That's the speed goat, right? Yeah. The mini speed goat. This is my EDC. And I mean,
00:05:28.120 it is, it is tore to shreds, dude. Do you, you know, do you carry a fixed blade or do you carry
00:05:36.720 a, a, a folder on a, typically as an everyday carry? So I was always a folder guy. And then
00:05:44.860 when I found out about the culture of MKC and stuff like that, I made the switch to the mini
00:05:49.680 speed goat and i i honestly haven't looked back like the mini is so easy it's so easy accessible
00:05:57.540 quick pop out the kydex sheath is great it's got a little click to it which is nice because i know
00:06:04.260 that it's locked in um but yeah just awesome awesome knives i'm running a fixed blade right
00:06:12.300 now i don't know if i'll switch back to a folder but if i do it'll be the montana oh for sure it's
00:06:19.440 funny because over the past couple of weeks, because they came out with this Montana, um,
00:06:24.340 I've seen a bunch of guys doing the boxing unveil or whatever. And like, I've got my box over there.
00:06:29.880 I'm like, Oh, cool. I'll do an unboxing as well. I'm like, no, I'm not going to do that. You know
00:06:32.960 what I'm going to do? People are going to steal my idea, but what I'm going to do, and I've been
00:06:36.840 taking video of the way that I've been using this over the past two or three days now, since I've
00:06:41.840 got it and it's like i i had to cut some zip tie or not zip ties but um uh bailing twine i had to
00:06:49.640 make a mark on a two by four to cut it um i was picking my teeth the other night with my knife
00:06:55.120 and my real life uses though and he's like what are you doing because i was videoing it and he's
00:07:00.100 like what are you doing i'm like i'm i have something in my teeth like some food in my teeth
00:07:04.740 and um but i thought that would be a cool way to highlight this thing i'm sick of this dead tooth
00:07:10.120 i'm just popping the whole thing out just get rid of it man it's just it's just annoying me i'm a
00:07:14.780 i'm my own dentist at this point yeah oh probably save you some money that way too
00:07:20.200 yeah well you know you got to save some money because uh you know everything's expensive and
00:07:26.160 inflation and everything else so it gets a little wild right now but that's right i'm so glad we
00:07:30.560 could connect i i was i was excited that i ran into you because we've been following each other
00:07:34.780 for some time and I ran into you in the airport in Missoula. Not Kalispell. Where was the connecting
00:07:42.260 flight? Were we in Denver? No, no, no. We were, no, I bumped into you guys in, in Missoula,
00:07:48.440 I think. That's right. I saw you, I saw you on the connecting. We ended up on the same flight
00:07:54.120 and then I, I came up and chatted with you in Missoula and turns out we were there for the
00:07:59.400 same reason. Yeah, well, you can always tell there's a culture with it. But one thing that
00:08:04.700 I've been impressed with you is just your, your, well, a couple of things that I wanted to bring
00:08:08.520 up. Number one is your infectious positivity, I think was a huge thing for me. So that's number
00:08:15.040 one. I'm sure a lot of people tell you that. Number two, and you mentioned and alluded to
00:08:18.720 this earlier, is the ability to network and connect with other people. And I think that's
00:08:23.760 an underrated skill that if more men developed they would be in a much better position but what
00:08:29.680 i found in 2026 is the average man isolates himself you know he kind of he kind of holds
00:08:39.720 up in a corner he deals with his family or his kids or whatever obligations whether it's work
00:08:45.380 or extracurricular type stuff but he doesn't go out of his way to put himself in positions to
00:08:51.740 network with high quality men and i think that's where a lot of guys suffer oh man and we're gonna
00:08:58.200 dive down rabbit holes right off the rip um it's wild because we're we're in a day and age where
00:09:05.120 we've never been more connected and more disconnected at the exact same time right
00:09:11.960 and so there's i i've got a number of principles that i live by but one of them to your point
00:09:18.860 you know guys aren't reaching out to guys they're not you know meeting at the water cooler to talk
00:09:24.040 they're not you know hanging i mean whether good or bad or indifferent they're not hanging out at
00:09:29.620 the local bar hey it's friday night i'm gonna go meet up with the boys like that stuff's just
00:09:33.900 not happening as much anymore and i've always been someone you know with the positivity with
00:09:40.200 the optimism things like that where if i see something i like i'm gonna tell the individual
00:09:46.700 whether that be a dude's haircut a dude's beard style a shirt somebody's wearing a hat
00:09:55.040 their style as a whole uh how they swing a golf club whatever it may be if i see something on
00:10:01.640 socials i'll reach out and just be like fire emoji or dude great swing or man i really love
00:10:09.000 this you know um you know anything in that regard a prime example you know this this hat right here
00:10:16.100 the do what you love very very simple saying but i just i love that i love the meaning behind it
00:10:21.800 and things like that and i feel like a lot of times nowadays we are so tied up with our own
00:10:28.340 stuff and we're so focused on our own stuff we feel like either people don't see what we're doing
00:10:35.300 or we don't have the we don't want to put ourselves out there right in a in an age where
00:10:41.340 everything is recorded. Everyone is scared of being the next hot viral video for a mistake
00:10:48.440 made or, or things like that. And I feel like that's part of the reason why we have all become
00:10:54.340 so disconnected, uh, and, and lacking the relationship building of abilities and things
00:11:01.120 like that. Yeah. I mean, I would agree. And there's a lot of questions I have on that.
00:11:06.400 I really love that you were talking about the complimenting a person or just bringing something
00:11:11.100 up because you actually approached me in Missoula and I, I think I recognized you and you,
00:11:17.180 you obviously recognized me and, but you, you were the one who initiated it and you came up
00:11:23.740 and I can't remember exactly what you said. And I really admired that because I can't tell you how
00:11:28.040 often I see guys who I know, maybe they recognize me or outside of what we're doing guys who were,
00:11:36.360 maybe they recognize somebody else or they see something valuable in somebody else and they
00:11:41.240 don't say anything i was at the airport on the way home from our uh mkc trip and i saw this
00:11:47.820 young man and this young woman and they were a little bit emo gothic you know not not my
00:11:55.020 demographic a little more edgy yeah yeah but emo gothic and i just got checked in for my flight
00:12:01.700 and they were you could tell i i think he must have been going somewhere and she was sad that
00:12:08.140 he was leaving and he was sad that he was leaving and you could kind of tell it was a moment between
00:12:13.000 them two and i and i actually went up to him and i said hey guys i don't mean to interrupt
00:12:16.860 but i just have to say this scene right here this this picture right here is awesome yeah and i just
00:12:25.160 want to tell you i really admire the love and admiration that you two have for each other and
00:12:30.500 they're like what they were shocked and it's amazing to me how infrequently men get compliments
00:12:39.120 and how easy it is but here's the problem tell me if you think i'm right or wrong on this aj 0.93
00:12:45.020 the problem is the no homo culture right like where we're like everybody's scared of the 0.72
00:12:55.220 embarrassment yeah bro if your beard your beard's awesome no homo it's like who says it was who says 0.99
00:13:02.600 that home like like i don't understand why we get into that culture but it's amazing how powerful 0.94
00:13:09.660 and influential you can be if you just pay a man a genuine compliment and that's like it's not that
00:13:16.160 homo at all that's the key word right there is the genuine side of it right everyone's always
00:13:22.940 especially in today's day and age where you know the the lgbt culture is very popular right now and
00:13:30.300 you know i i co-own a coffee company in a very liberal neighborhood and i also work in the 0.99
00:13:36.980 outdoor space so i see both i try to see the world for what it is the no homo culture is hurting us 0.98
00:13:46.140 tremendously because men are scared to go up to men and just be like yo bro love the fit like 1.00
00:13:54.200 your jacket's dope you're like i will seek out other dudes with like longer beards because that's
00:14:01.920 a style and i know the time and the effort that goes into that and just passing by like i'll i'll
00:14:08.080 holler across an aisle at somebody like yo dude nice beard and just leave it at that and if you 0.96
00:14:14.820 don't overanalyze the no homo culture it ends up falling by the wayside and nobody really cares 0.97
00:14:22.980 right uh you know there's a very popular thing going around right now where they there's a saying 0.89
00:14:29.460 in viral videos and stuff like that about you know men receive their first flowers when they're
00:14:36.420 being put in the ground i hate that that that drives me up a wall because it takes 30 seconds
00:14:47.260 to tell a dude yo dude love the hairstyle yo dude love the beard uh there's a a personality
00:14:54.560 in the outdoor space his name's mfjj and he's got like the 90s skin fade spiked gelled mohawk
00:15:04.900 every time i see him i'm like dude hair's looking good today brother and you just leave it at that
00:15:10.340 don't make it weird don't make it anything more than what it is just purely like just give them
00:15:17.600 a compliment prime example you're wearing a half-faced blade shirt right now right
00:15:21.960 no this is this is uh no this is oh no that's that's mkc that's the blood brothers one right
00:15:29.220 that's right that's what it is yeah yeah that's a great shirt back ups half-faced blades yeah
00:15:34.500 for sure yeah yeah you got the you got the uh you got the the blood splatter you got the bear skull
00:15:40.400 on it like that's a dope shirt so you just tell somebody dude love the shirt looks awesome leave
00:15:47.480 it at that go about your day you don't have to make it anything crazier than just a simple
00:15:52.940 compliment to another dude that's where people get in trouble is they overanalyze stuff and they
00:15:58.800 think they need to say more when it's just just pay the compliment and keep going but I but I also
00:16:05.500 think there's because I already hear it and I've been doing this long enough where guys are like
00:16:10.320 well why would I do that what's the point it's like okay there's a pragmatic reason to do this
00:16:15.060 so let me give you an example I know you do a lot of work with first form we've got mutual friends
00:16:20.800 and Sal and Andy and the whole first form crew over there yep one thing that that I've got really
00:16:27.420 good at when I go to the gym is if I, dude, if I see you for two weeks, let's say every morning
00:16:34.300 at 6am at the gym, what most guys will do is nothing. It's like, I'm not going to say anything.
00:16:42.060 What I do is I'm like, if I saw you for two weeks, every, every day at 6am, I would go up to you and
00:16:49.340 I'd say, Hey man, I'm trying to figure out this fitness stuff. Like you seem like you have a
00:16:55.340 pretty good physique you seem like you know what you're doing i'm trying to figure out how i can
00:17:00.000 get bigger biceps or how i can get abs or how i can get strong or whatever do you have any pointers
00:17:05.320 on the bench press and it's amazing to me how many guys won't do that because they don't want
00:17:10.860 to come across as weird or homophobic or homosexual or weak or whatever week right it's like bro just
00:17:18.720 ask i've asked that two dozen different times at my local gym and not one of them said no way 0.99
00:17:25.220 fuck you yeah all of them are like oh yeah i would love to give you some pointers let me help you out 0.98
00:17:30.980 and we become friends because because in you asking that question you actually gave them a 1.00
00:17:38.140 compliment their hard work has paid off so much that other people are taking notice their
00:17:46.300 consistency has paid off so much that other people notice it so even without even with 0.89
00:17:52.000 asking a question you just gave that man a compliment that oh shit i gotta i gotta stay 0.89
00:17:58.420 on this path i'm making a difference i gotta keep grinding now you can look at it both sides right 0.97
00:18:03.980 that guy that you see in the gym every day at 6 a.m he could be ahead of you in your own journey
00:18:11.540 or he could be behind you in your own journey so there i i take pride in my health and my wellness
00:18:20.000 and things like that there's been guys that i see that come into the gym consistently every day
00:18:25.660 at 6 a.m and they're 350 400 pounds i'll go up to them they just finished a set they racked the
00:18:34.940 weight it's heavy they're feeling it and i'll just be like yo bro i no idea who you are i just wanted
00:18:41.360 to let you know like i i see you consistently in here i see you working and i see you grinding
00:18:46.280 keep moving, keep moving forward. That's like, that's my whole thing. I've got it tattooed on
00:18:51.500 my body. Like keep moving forward is everything. So even if someone is, is just starting their
00:18:59.240 journey, you giving them that little piece of, yo, I see you. I see you being consistent.
00:19:08.520 That guy, the next day, he may have already been thinking about this shit ain't for me. 0.99
00:19:14.780 it's taken too long this is a pain this is a problem and you giving them that compliment of 0.98
00:19:20.680 like yo I see you now now they have an accountability guy because now in their own
00:19:27.380 mind they've created this narrative where well hell I can't let that guy at the gym down I need
00:19:33.460 to make sure he sees me on day uh you know 15 day 16 day 45 you know and so the whether the person
00:19:43.040 is ahead of you in your fitness journey or just starting their fitness journey acknowledge that
00:19:48.440 go talk to them that's actually so let me give you a personal couple of stories here so
00:19:56.440 about six months ago i was at the gym and i i've been hitting it hard i'm consistent and a guy came
00:20:02.880 up to me he's like hey man i just wanted to tell you i've seen you in here the past couple of
00:20:06.300 months you look good dude it's like i'm busting your tail in here and i can see i can see losing
00:20:14.080 weight i can see you getting stronger i just want to let you know you're good and then on the flip
00:20:18.760 side there's a guy at the gym hang on stop yeah just you telling that story i don't know if this
00:20:25.580 is recorded and it's going to get posted just you telling that story subconsciously you flexed and
00:20:31.500 you you smiled more just from telling that story dude and i apologize for interrupting continue
00:20:38.060 with you know the the compliment but even retelling the story it made you feel so good
00:20:44.940 yeah it's it's pretty wild because we just get as men we get so few compliments that any little
00:20:52.140 acknowledgement and not that we need to crave acknowledgement or validation
00:20:56.140 but let's not lie it feels good it's motivation we is it something that we should rely on probably
00:21:03.820 not but is it fuel absolutely yeah in inherently as individuals it doesn't you don't have to say
00:21:14.220 ryan you are the greatest person i've ever met in my entire life that that's not needed i'm just
00:21:20.080 as i'm actually just gonna clip that part out just so it sounds like you just called me the
00:21:24.520 greatest person we've ever met there we go that's totally fine that's totally fine um it doesn't
00:21:31.360 need to be that overdone that that over the top it can simply be dude your delts are looking
00:21:39.620 fucking killer right now that alone will carry someone into the next day it will it will completely 0.98
00:21:49.740 change their mentality they might have felt like shit they didn't want to be at the gym they didn't 1.00
00:21:54.260 want to be doing what they're doing but someone noticed them someone saw them and we go through 0.97
00:22:01.940 this life so much so alone or feeling alone or feeling like no one gets my circumstances or
00:22:09.380 things like that something as small as complementing a muscle group can completely
00:22:16.880 change the trajectory of their outlook that's why i'm so heavy on if you see something about
00:22:23.920 somebody that you like tell them the hunter well you know let's so let me give you the second part
00:22:31.700 of this story so that's the guy i told you about the other part of the story is there's a guy at
00:22:37.020 the gym that i see all the time i don't actually even know his name i'm actually challenged now
00:22:42.840 to go figure out what the heck his name is my wife laughs at me because i have so many gym
00:22:47.720 buddies and i have no idea what their names are i don't know what his name is i don't know what
00:22:50.860 does i don't know what his name is i don't know i don't know i know he works hard i know he works
00:22:55.180 hard he's dude he works hard and he looks good like he's fit he's strong he looks good i'll walk
00:23:01.160 into the gym after being gone for two or three or four days and he'll look at me and we'll make
00:23:05.660 eye contact and he goes like this he puts his head down and he just shakes his head he knows
00:23:12.280 he knows he shakes his head man because he's busting my chops about it because he knows he's
00:23:16.720 like, bro, I know you, I have not seen you here. I know you're supposed to be here. We haven't
00:23:22.480 said more than 10 words to each other. And that guy holds me accountable. But now you're
00:23:27.460 accountability partners. Exactly. Exactly, dude. Just, just by, just by gestures and motions and,
00:23:35.680 and things like that, you guys, you guys are now, whether you like it or not,
00:23:40.580 you are intertwined because of the consistency that you both put forward.
00:23:46.720 And I'm just going to step away from this conversation briefly. I want you to know that
00:23:51.600 the man you want to become is not going to develop or show up on his own. You have to invest in that
00:23:57.880 man. And the highest return investment that you can ever make is that one that you make in
00:24:03.840 yourself. I know we just had a big offering from SpaceX, their IPO over the weekend. And as much
00:24:10.900 as you might make some money there, I'm telling you right now, the best investment you can make
00:24:15.420 is the one you make in yourself and that's what the iron council is it's a brotherhood of men who
00:24:20.360 refuse to coast men who've decided that getting better isn't optional it's the standard and inside
00:24:27.100 you'll get the accountability the discernment the network of incredible men who will tell you the
00:24:32.280 truth when everyone else just tells you what you want to hear there's no posturing there's no going
00:24:39.140 at it alone, just men sharpening each other. You already spend money on things that depreciate
00:24:45.520 every second. You go to the convenience store and you get your Red Bull like I do. And that's what
00:24:50.600 $4 a day, which equates to about 120 a month. Or you buy your booze or your cigarettes or
00:24:59.020 other nonsense that you're probably just wasting your money on fast food, maybe, or snacks.
00:25:05.360 I'm telling you, you waste as much, if not more money than the iron council cost to invest in
00:25:11.280 every single month. The iron council is the opposite of that. It compounds every conversation,
00:25:19.160 every challenge you engage in every man who pushes you forward. This is the type of investment that
00:25:25.400 pays you back literally for the rest of your life. It's a, as Clark Griswold might say,
00:25:31.740 actually it's not clark i think it's uh cousin eddie who says it's the gift that keeps on giving
00:25:40.020 so guys if you want the gift that keeps on giving then look no further than the iron council go to
00:25:46.640 order of man.com iron council that's order of man.com iron council do that right after the
00:25:53.780 show. Let's get back to it with AJ. Yeah. Like I'm wondering, you know, as, as we're talking
00:26:01.360 about this, I think there's a lot of guys who are like, yeah, that's cool. Like you have buddies
00:26:05.320 and you have gym bros and everything else. What do you feel from your perspective? Cause you're
00:26:10.520 I don't know if you feel like you're a natural connector. I would say that if I knew nothing
00:26:14.840 else about you, I would say that maybe that's taken you a lot of work and a lot of effort,
00:26:19.400 maybe it's just your inherent personality, but what do you think are the pragmatic applications
00:26:27.460 of learning to connect with other men? Let me, let me give a little bit of a back piece.
00:26:36.200 Very, very fortunate and blessed growing up. I was a 4.0 student in middle school.
00:26:41.220 I was a 4.0 student in high school. I was like a 3.7 student in college. My ability to talk to
00:26:53.340 anybody and connect with them and things like that has carried me far, far beyond what being
00:27:03.860 good in school could ever carry me. The, the, the actual application to being able to talk to people
00:27:11.240 and being able to build relationships on an actual like foundational basis is one of the
00:27:20.400 most important, if not the most important skills in building the life that you want as an
00:27:27.320 individual. As far as coming naturally, I was, once again, very blessed to grow up in a family
00:27:38.120 where our Christmases and Thanksgivings were with the extended family. Mom's side had 20 plus,
00:27:46.440 dad's side had 25 plus. Now with grandbabies and great grandbabies, there's 25 to 30 on each side.
00:27:55.140 And so at get-togethers, you had to speak up if you wanted to be heard. If you had something to say, you needed to speak up. And through that, that started my development of being able to talk to anybody.
00:28:12.300 um there's also a piece that you also can't care what people think or say about you and i know
00:28:23.800 i don't know if that's cliche to say but i know that that is easier said than done for a lot of
00:28:29.180 people but unless someone is is sleeping with you providing for you or or paying your salary
00:28:38.760 they the the relevancy of their opinion on your life is kind of null and void you know
00:28:47.420 at its at its core right you and i are talking if we leave this podcast at the end and you're like 0.85
00:28:56.100 man i fucking hate that aj guy in the big scheme of things that does not change 0.90
00:29:05.060 the trajectory of my life in any way you know what i'm saying and i think too many people are 0.99
00:29:13.440 worried about well my friends might think it's weird my buddies might think it's it's cringe
00:29:19.680 my uh you know whoever it may be might think that it's just too over the top if those individuals 0.99
00:29:28.060 don't have a direct tie to your livelihood, who gives a shit? You know what I mean? And it just 0.98
00:29:37.140 like between, between learning how to talk to people and learning to talk to anybody and
00:29:44.000 understanding that there are very few people where their opinion will actually change the
00:29:49.740 trajectory of your life. That's how you open up the ability to talk to anybody in the world,
00:29:56.240 you know and that's kind of that's kind of where i sit with the with the ability to talk to people
00:30:01.680 and stuff like that okay so i've got a lot of questions but the first one that comes up to mind
00:30:07.300 is what do you feel is the line or the dichotomy between not caring what people think and on the
00:30:17.280 other side caring about what the right people think so for example i actually really care about
00:30:24.060 what my kids think of me. Yeah. That's important. Okay. I care about what my business partners think
00:30:29.620 of me. I care about what my clients think of me and I think that's valid. So what is the line
00:30:35.480 between the two? Well, I would, I would argue, and this is how you kind of like dive into the
00:30:43.220 rabbit hole and dissect like what really matters. You mentioned your kids, you mentioned your
00:30:49.380 business partners you mentioned your clients i would look at that and i would argue that the
00:30:56.640 opinion of all three of those individual or all three of those categories does actually change
00:31:04.360 the trajectory of your life your kids i i'm sure you're in the same boat i know i'm in this boat
00:31:11.760 what my child or what my kids think of me is everything i want them to think of me as superman
00:31:20.860 for as long as humanly possible so if i do something and rigs in his teen years or whatever
00:31:30.340 comes up to me and says dad that wasn't really it like i don't i don't know i don't it wasn't
00:31:37.800 a good look for you, I'm going to take an internal look and analyze exactly what he's
00:31:43.500 talking about because I want to be his superhero. Business partners, the way they think about
00:31:50.220 you, excuse me, or their opinions on you will affect how you guys handle meetings. It'll
00:31:58.660 affect how you guys make decisions. It will affect all of those aspects.
00:32:07.800 your clients and how they think of you. If, if you're making the wrong moves and the wrong
00:32:14.600 decisions, those clients may fall off. They may, hopefully they will tell you, Hey, I don't think
00:32:21.860 this is the right move for me. But once again, that goes back to the conversation piece and the
00:32:25.780 relationship you build. Um, and that, that then will affect how you decide to coach them.
00:32:34.460 so that's kind of the the part that you as an individual you have to decide who has the ability
00:32:43.160 to change the trajectory of my life me personally the three groups that you just mentioned all three
00:32:51.480 of those would have the ability to change your life for the good or the bad and so that's kind
00:32:58.240 of you just have to look internally and you have to make that decision of you know if you get one
00:33:07.320 guy that's like hey this ain't it but everybody else is saying oh I love this this is the right
00:33:15.060 move this is what we should be doing on and on maybe that individual was in the wrong and so
00:33:21.600 a lot of guys think that that it's a very very small grouping but you have to take your life
00:33:31.640 experience and put it into each of those conversations to make that decision for yourself
00:33:38.040 on who am i giving power to to help or hurt change my life yeah i think that's i think that's
00:33:48.520 valuable i'm taking notes that's why i'm looking at my computer periodically but i also wrote this
00:33:54.160 when it comes to who i allow say and what i say and do and it's it's very simply this
00:34:02.220 are they credible and do they care about me that's it that that's great if if somebody's
00:34:10.760 credible in the area or the avenue that i'm addressing and i know that they care about me
00:34:17.120 that they have my best interest at heart,
00:34:18.920 then that's somebody I'm going to listen to
00:34:20.280 to varying degrees, right?
00:34:21.800 Like I'm going to listen to my kids
00:34:23.340 a little bit more than you.
00:34:24.660 No offense.
00:34:25.540 Yeah, no, 100%.
00:34:26.840 My kids are impacted by my day-to-day decisions.
00:34:28.540 But I also know that both you and them
00:34:31.460 are credible in their feedback.
00:34:34.460 And I also know that both you and them care about me.
00:34:38.380 So, all right, I'm going to put some weight on that.
00:34:42.420 And, you know, we talked about it briefly,
00:34:46.160 You know, living life in the gray and stuff like that. Two things can be true at the same time. I can have weight because I care about you. Your kids can have weight because they care about you. But then you have to determine who has more weight in what you should be doing.
00:35:05.760 And that's, that's a question that nobody can answer, but the individual going through whatever they're going through. And, you know, I, I have family members that my dad and I love my dad to death. Very, very blessed to have him. He's, he is an amazing father and an amazing grandfather.
00:35:29.200 That being said, he would shave my head and my beard in my sleep tomorrow, tomorrow.
00:35:40.940 So for that situation, his opinion weighs nothing to me because of the fact that I know that with what I am building and what I am creating, the beard, the hair, the look,
00:35:55.900 it has kind of taken on its own persona on social media and,
00:36:01.000 and the way I talk to people and things like that. You know,
00:36:04.840 you said you recognize me in the Missoula airport when I came up to you,
00:36:09.980 if I was fully clean shaven and had a nice crew cut haircut,
00:36:15.220 I might've just been another guy to you. So in that aspect,
00:36:20.480 my dad's opinion weighs nothing in the aspect of,
00:36:25.900 effort and grinding and perseverance my dad's opinion weighs substantially higher than anybody
00:36:36.780 else because he was the first person to tell me you'll never be the fastest you'll never be the
00:36:43.400 strongest you'll never be the biggest so you're gonna have to work harder than anybody else
00:36:49.120 so he's understood that from the beginning that as far this was talking about sports but it relates
00:36:55.860 to life. He understood that from the beginning, I was not going to be the big guy, right? And so
00:37:04.720 I've carried that opinion and it's changed over the years. But one thing is to stay consistent is
00:37:11.720 the consistency and the work ethic that I need to put into what I do. And so that, I guess that's
00:37:19.300 another piece that we can touch on is like the individual that you're looking at you don't have
00:37:27.060 to put a blanket my wife weighs this much as far as opinions or my family weighs this much as far
00:37:34.500 as opinions even an individual based on what that opinion is can carry different weight as well
00:37:42.880 it's it's a multi-layered thing i think that's a good i think that's a valid point you know it's
00:37:51.160 be your own man know what you're after know what you're trying to accomplish and maybe that's the
00:37:56.460 maybe that's another qualifying question is does this person know what i'm trying to accomplish
00:38:01.160 you know i take the beard for example when i started order of man in 2015 i had a beard that
00:38:08.820 would rival yours and i often got the question do you think order a man would have grown to what it
00:38:15.300 is without the beard the answer is no of course not because it became recognizable yep hey dude
00:38:23.680 it's spot on the the my day job the company that i work for lone wolf custom gear is a mobile
00:38:30.280 hunting company primarily you know lightweight mobile hunting gear things like that my boss
00:38:37.200 and co-owner of the company is currently tattooing over old tattoos because he ran out of space on
00:38:46.380 his body he is he is not the standard hunter that has one or two tattoos he is covered head to toe
00:38:57.200 finger knuckle all the way up to the chest down to finger knuckle and he doesn't look like the
00:39:05.380 typical bow hunter now he also has some really good knowledge and has some uh tactics that are
00:39:12.540 different than other people and stuff like that but when he he posted a gym video just of him
00:39:19.320 working out in preparation for the season and it got 1300 likes in a matter of hours so the views
00:39:27.700 are exponentially higher than that and it's because of the fact that he has a very unique
00:39:32.840 and distinctive look and you know those of you listening make no mistake I'm not telling you
00:39:39.580 you need to grow your hair out you need to get a bunch of tattoos you need you don't need to do
00:39:43.520 any of that but you need a look a style an attitude a personality that is unique to yourself
00:39:51.740 if you always try to imitate others you will always be second best
00:39:58.540 i think that's good advice man i when we were in missoula you had i think you had a felt hat on
00:40:06.340 if i remember correctly a felt cowboy hat and a feather maybe yeah and it was unique yeah different
00:40:10.460 it's like oh that guy stands out and then i was talking with a good friend of mine
00:40:14.380 um john lovell with warrior poet society i don't know if you know him okay yeah but he's a he's a
00:40:21.600 pastor he's a christian pastor as well and he had posted one of his sermons he's a he's a former
00:40:27.900 army ranger and he had posted one of his sermons and he was in full kit he had his his camo on he
00:40:35.640 had his you know his his chest plates on he had all his med stuff and magazine he was in full kit
00:40:41.960 minus the firearm he might even had a firearm like a sidearm i don't know if he didn't have
00:40:46.380 his rifle but he might have had a pistol and i talked to him like dude that was awesome he's
00:40:51.460 like i was so uncomfortable and i said well why did you do it he's like because i needed people's
00:40:57.460 attention i needed yeah people to pay attention to the message i was about to share i was like
00:41:03.120 valid valid fair point but he said he was uncomfortable the entire time yeah yeah i mean
00:41:11.460 it it's one of those things where like so so much of the internet is regurgitated regurgitated
00:41:20.080 content. It's reposting of reels. It's reaction videos where you're watching somebody else's and
00:41:28.600 you have your own comment. It's reused and recycled stuff. So when someone comes along
00:41:35.500 and creates very unique content that they like, that is part of their life, that's why those
00:41:43.000 individuals blow up. It's because of the fact they're making their stuff for themselves and
00:41:49.700 it just so happens that other people gravitate to it. And so that's like being your own individual
00:41:56.660 is what's going to carry you. Now we're talking social media and stuff like that, but that's also
00:42:03.140 in regards to day-to-day life and your job and your livelihood and things like that.
00:42:11.600 Pete Rose makes a very, very good argument for this. I'm a big baseball guy. Pete Rose went on
00:42:18.240 on a uh interview and he said you never you never admit that you're in a slump and you never admit
00:42:25.200 that you're uh or you never change your swing your swing is what got you to the big leagues
00:42:31.340 your ability is what got you hired by the company so clearly whatever you work for they saw something
00:42:41.020 in you that is unique to you and they liked it so they hired you so why would you then go in
00:42:49.560 and six months a year five years down the road change who you are to just fit the mold keep doing
00:42:57.860 what you're doing keep taking initiative keep you know completing the tasks that that you are set
00:43:06.460 out to complete, that company is going to keep you around. Now you may ruffle some feathers along
00:43:11.180 the way, but they see the value in you because you have stayed unique to yourself and your hard
00:43:17.160 work and your ethic throughout that entire time. Yeah. But where do you find, where do you find
00:43:25.000 evolution in that? Because, you know, I could, I could, I could, for example, let's take baseball
00:43:31.220 come in with you know i'm thinking about like the sweetest swing right ken griffey jr and so nice
00:43:38.080 and then you have like each each row who's just like incredible right and you have show and you
00:43:43.340 have all these other guys who are just incredible players and it's like okay at some point the game
00:43:48.280 is going you evolve past the game the game will catch up i promise you the game will catch up
00:43:54.860 and you need to continue to evolve yeah yeah um i think there is a way i think there's a way that
00:44:05.420 you as an individual can evolve into what the culture is promoting without losing yourself
00:44:13.460 right prime example i am not a spreadsheets guy i am a i'm gonna do my work the job's gonna get
00:44:25.540 done and we're gonna move on from that lone wolf being a family-owned company being a little rough
00:44:34.060 around the edges when i came in and things like that it was a lot of fly by the seat of your pants
00:44:40.340 decisions we've implemented a bunch of tactics and spreadsheets and and orders of operation
00:44:49.300 and things like that since i've been on board you can always find a way to evolve into what
00:44:58.920 they want without losing what got you there in the first place you know and so it's
00:45:06.660 It's, we're on the baseball train, so we're just going to keep talking about it.
00:45:12.380 So a really good shortstop, right?
00:45:15.220 Makes it to the majors.
00:45:16.880 They like his swing.
00:45:17.900 They like his defensive ability.
00:45:21.180 The hitters on the opposing team find out that his backhand is not very good.
00:45:26.980 So they start exploiting it.
00:45:28.960 Well, now he's got to work extra on that backhand to evolve.
00:45:34.520 but he continues to work on what got him there and what got him noticed his hitting his his
00:45:44.540 glove side defending things like that you can evolve and stay true to yourself as well you
00:45:52.920 once again life in the gray two things can be true at the same time and i firmly believe that
00:45:59.560 you don't have to evolve out of who you are as a person. You just evolve and that becomes another
00:46:07.900 good attribute for you. Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's that dichotomy of
00:46:15.480 do you focus on your strengths or do you focus on your weaknesses? And I would say it's probably
00:46:21.100 a bit of the Pareto principle where it should be, and I'm just using an arbitrary number,
00:46:27.580 but i think people understand the concept is that 80 of your effort should be designated towards
00:46:33.040 80 of your skill set and 20 of your effort should be designated towards 20 of the areas that you
00:46:40.080 need to shore up you don't need to be perfect in those areas but you can you can donate 20 of your
00:46:45.120 efforts towards that but yeah i'm under the belief that what got you to the show i mean we even see
00:46:51.000 this with the nba finals you know the spurs are just messing up left and right it's like wait
00:46:57.840 you didn't you didn't play this way during the season and now all of a sudden or even in the
00:47:03.140 first half you didn't play this way in the second half now you're gonna change up the schematic 0.52
00:47:08.640 you're gonna change up the game plan and then you're gonna lose a huge lead what the hell is
00:47:13.560 happening here. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think like you said, I think the, the number is arbitrary.
00:47:23.860 You always need to continue working on what made you great or what is working for you,
00:47:30.420 but you do need to dedicate some time to your, to your downfalls, to your, your lesser attributes,
00:47:39.660 things like that because you want to be a well-rounded individual whether that's in life
00:47:45.040 whether that's in your job whether that's in your passion or your side hustle or whatever it may be
00:47:50.340 you need to dedicate time to uplifting both whether that's 80 20 whether that's 70 30 that is
00:47:59.840 that is up to the individual and i would say that's up to the individual separation
00:48:06.220 of how good is their good attributes and how bad is their bad attributes.
00:48:13.820 Yeah, that's fair. One concern that I think a lot of guys have is that
00:48:18.860 this kind of draws upon the conversation we were having previously about knowing where you're
00:48:24.520 deficient and having other people come in is that I think that there's not enough people out there
00:48:31.220 who will tell us that we're messing up yeah like people on social media will do that all day long
00:48:39.500 but they're not credible and they're not they don't care about you so they don't meet they're
00:48:44.400 not changing the trajectory of your life yeah it's another way to say it like you were saying
00:48:49.420 earlier yeah the people who do care about you in at least in my life in my experience
00:48:55.480 is relatively few of them will actually be honest with you about your deficiencies.
00:49:03.920 So two-part question, do you believe that to be true?
00:49:08.320 And if not, how do you become more self-aware of the areas in your life that you need to shore up?
00:49:18.320 I think, number one, I do believe that to be true, right?
00:49:23.240 my mom and dad they'll if i do something major they'll tell me that i messed up but for the
00:49:31.200 most part they'll just ride it out and and they just know that you know their baby boy will make
00:49:36.540 it to the other side um almost as if they care about you so much that they're well it's a two
00:49:43.940 it's a two it's a twofold thing they really care about you and they don't want to offend you and
00:49:50.440 they also don't want to put themselves in positions of feeling uncomfortable and it's
00:49:54.940 not malicious. It's not devious. It's not malicious. It's just, I love him and self
00:50:01.440 preservation. That's all it is. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I also think that, um, I'm, I'm thinking
00:50:11.440 about the part two of your question, which with the, um, we were talking about the, the
00:50:18.720 weight of individuals. What was the part two of your question? We were talking about more self
00:50:23.260 aware in the absence of other people who are credible giving you good feedback. Yeah. So I
00:50:29.060 think, and this is another place where I think a lot of people lack in is you have to self audit
00:50:36.840 way more than what we're already doing. Like you need to take a step back, third party point of
00:50:45.780 you. What are you good at? What are you bad at? How can you make those changes for the better?
00:50:52.900 Right. Um, and I think a lot of people don't want to self audit because it forces them to focus
00:51:00.320 on their negative attributes or their less desirable attributes.
00:51:07.980 I would, I would agree with that. Again, that goes back to my assertion of self-preservation.
00:51:14.020 like it's really easy for me to think about how great and wonderful i am not so comfortable to
00:51:20.580 talk about or even just explore internally where i suck yeah yeah it's i mean because nobody wants
00:51:28.760 that right we we already get beat down by society and beat down by the world anyways so why when we
00:51:35.540 have a moment of peace why do we want to go and look at the negatives of our own lives well
00:51:41.240 sometimes it's necessary to take a look at the negatives and take a look at your shortcomings
00:51:46.440 in order for you to keep moving forward because of the fact that acknowledging those shortcomings
00:51:54.200 and those shortfalls will allow you to make necessary changes to make leaps and bounds
00:52:00.680 forward in your own life. One of my favorite quotes on this subject comes from Martin Luther
00:52:07.040 and he said peace if possible truth at all cost and we often look at that as external right like
00:52:17.300 we'll be peaceful with people but we want to be honest what if we flip that and we did it to
00:52:22.700 ourselves hey be peaceful find the peace in your life if possible if it exists but you need to be
00:52:31.840 true. Like I, I just pulled this up as you were talking. So if you're on YouTube, you can see
00:52:36.640 I've got my orange old school, you know, notebook right here. And I write in this thing every single
00:52:42.840 day as a self-reflective process about what's going good. What's going bad. How am I feeling?
00:52:49.180 Why am I down? Why am I happy? Who did I offend? Who did I please? Like, who did I help? I write
00:52:55.720 everything in this man. This self-reflective process has been so beneficial for me. And it's
00:53:00.460 only something i've been doing for well since january of this year so six months now yeah yeah
00:53:08.320 it and i mean once again talking shortcomings one of my shortcomings is i don't write enough stuff
00:53:15.500 down i'm working on it i've got binders i've got folders i've got you know things like that it's the
00:53:21.780 the sit down and actually write it out type deal if you put something to pad and paper or pen and
00:53:28.700 paper, it is going to stick way more than just you talking to yourself about it or, or things like
00:53:35.840 that. Well, if I can make an assessment about you, you and I, probably the reason you and I
00:53:43.840 get along and resonate with each other is because we're very similar. You are, tell me if I'm off
00:53:49.620 on this, you are in an intuitive, quick processor. Yes. I'm a very like process it. It's black and
00:53:58.600 white here's the situation done and done let's let's fix it right there and it's gotten me in 1.00
00:54:03.360 trouble a few times with my wife because of the fact that um because of the fact that she is a 1.00
00:54:13.060 very emotional individual she's a mother of two she's trying to make sure that everybody's taken
00:54:18.400 care of and everybody feels good and i'm like our our oldest son busted his face up urgent care for
00:54:26.480 first time at two and a half years old, I get home. I'm like, blood is taken care of. He's got
00:54:33.280 an ice pack on. He's okay. We need to go to the doctor. We need to get stitches. We need to come
00:54:38.600 home period. And she's worried about, well, what about the other baby? And well, do I need to go
00:54:44.240 with you? And do I need to go here and stuff like that? It's like, no, no, no, no. I've got this
00:54:50.300 boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And so that's, that's an area where her and I have butted heads
00:54:55.040 in the past because I do look at things as very black and white when it comes to making decisions.
00:55:02.220 I'm taking notes, man. This is me. I've had these same discussions. It is interesting because it's
00:55:09.520 a superpower, man. I don't know what percentage of people are like that, but I'll tell you what,
00:55:13.900 it's few and far between. And also I would suggest that for guys like us, I'm going to pull us back
00:55:22.160 out we need to breathe man we unless there's an eminent danger or or something catastrophically
00:55:28.900 wrong just breathe it out write it down start thinking about it critically but on the flip
00:55:35.240 side i would say that there's a lot of guys and i talk with these guys every day who are
00:55:40.960 over analytical they're there's they're slower in their processing but they're very critical
00:55:47.560 and thinking oriented and so that represents its own share of of pros and cons and those guys
00:55:54.160 need to speed it the fuck up and they need to do exercises that will help them there's also
00:56:00.840 paralysis by analysis right so if you're consistently sitting there and you're thinking
00:56:08.280 about well if i do this then this is going to happen and if i do that then so and so is going
00:56:14.540 to think about this you're never going to get anything done because you're so focused on um
00:56:19.860 you're so focused on what could happen and focusing on what could happen can also destroy
00:56:27.620 you as an individual and force you to stay in the same state time and time again well i wrote this
00:56:35.380 down as you were saying that is guys like us will never never process it uh too slow
00:56:42.600 and guys like that will never process it too fast and i i tell these guys who are even
00:56:50.600 in the realm of behavior nice guys for example i tell these guys i'm like hey look you need to 0.97
00:56:57.900 tap dance into asshole territory because you have an unhealthy perspective of what is being nice 0.99
00:57:05.680 what is being an asshole and what is just simply assertive you don't know what it is because you've 1.00
00:57:12.700 never experienced being a dickhead to somebody right right and and you know the nice guys finish 0.99
00:57:20.520 last idea is is very real not so much from the relationship side but from the building a brand 0.90
00:57:28.680 and, and, uh, you know, working your job and things like that. And like, my dad is very
00:57:36.380 happy with where he is and things like that, but he has the skillset. If he wanted to,
00:57:40.720 he could climb the corporate ladder, but he's set with where he is and he likes where he's at.
00:57:50.200 Yeah. And that's, and that's, that actually can be hard too. I've noticed because,
00:57:54.420 you know, even with the work that I do and the work that you do as well, we see so much of this
00:57:59.480 potential, right? I see potential in people like, yeah, do this and this and this and this. And
00:58:03.800 they're like, I don't want to do that. I'm like, what's your problem? They don't have a problem.
00:58:07.540 It's like, go for it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So it's, it's, it's, I guess it's the ability
00:58:16.200 to honor somebody's sovereignty and agency to make their own decisions. Like some people just
00:58:21.440 don't want to do what you do and that's okay. Respect and support and honor them for what they
00:58:27.800 want to do. I found that as maybe it's my gray hair, you know, I'm getting a little older. I
00:58:33.800 think I'm older than you a little bit, but, or quite a bit, maybe, I don't know. But I, I think
00:58:40.040 I've just found this place in life where this is where I'm going. I can help you get to this point
00:58:47.260 because I'm here. And if you don't want to get to this point, I love that for you. I'm excited
00:58:53.660 for you. Whatever point you want to get to, whatever stage of life, however you want to
00:58:57.620 live your life, man, I look at so many people that 10, 15, 20 years ago, I probably would have
00:59:04.760 looked down on. And today I don't look down on them. I just think they're on a different path
00:59:09.880 than I am. And I'm fully capable of accepting that and acknowledging that. Well, AJ, it looks
00:59:17.680 like we had some technical difficulties, but I think we were getting close to the end of the
00:59:21.460 conversation anyways, man. Um, I'm really glad that we can have this conversation and I'm looking
00:59:26.120 forward to getting to know you more. Cause as I told you, when I wanted to set up this podcast,
00:59:31.340 your, uh, your optimism is infectious, man. It really is. And I wish more guys would,
00:59:38.800 would embrace some of that and and stop being i don't know it seems like do you feel like there's
00:59:45.100 like a bunch of hard a's running around like trying to posture and trying to be tough and
00:59:50.260 bad it's like dude don't we don't want to do that there's we can just be friendly and kind
00:59:56.320 decent to each other and also still be super capable there's i think there's a false belief
01:00:03.000 right now that in order to be a quote unquote alpha, right? That's the big, the big buzzer
01:00:10.760 word right now is I'm an alpha, you know, I'm, I'm the boss, I'm this, I'm that. There's a false
01:00:16.660 belief that the alpha has to be this rough, tough, don't cross him or he'll mess you up
01:00:25.560 type individual, and that's not at all true. The most alpha individuals that I have ever met in my
01:00:34.860 entire life, the best leaders, the best captains, whatever it may be, they're the individuals that
01:00:43.220 talk to everyone and bring up as many people as possible. They are the individuals that change
01:00:52.040 as many lives as humanly possible. Those are the people that are actually in control of their own
01:01:00.960 lives and in control of their destiny. I love it, man. I think you're living that. It seems to be,
01:01:09.160 you know, and I think that's a big part of why I've been resonating with what you put out there
01:01:14.560 and what you put in the world and why I want to have this conversation. I know you got a few
01:01:18.920 businesses. You've got a few things that you're doing always. You've got, you've got your hands
01:01:23.560 on a lot of different places. Like most of us who are entrepreneurial spirited, uh, where do the
01:01:27.800 guys connect with you and learn more about what you're up to though, man? Yeah. So first and
01:01:32.220 foremost, father, husband, that is primary role, main focus outside of that. Uh, I'm the median
01:01:41.160 event director for lone wolf custom gear. So it's a mobile hunting company, USA made family owned.
01:01:48.220 Uh, it's an amazing company to work for. I was a customer before I worked for him first form and first form outdoors. Uh, I was very blessed in 2024 to be named their male outdoor athlete of the year.
01:02:02.520 And so that aspect is focused on health, wellness, fitness, supplementation, just helping people live a healthier lifestyle by way of staying in the outdoors as long as possible.
01:02:17.980 For a lot of us, myself included, the woods is my church. That's where I do my best thinking and my best talking and things like that. And so we want to stay outdoors as long as possible.
01:02:30.200 And lastly, I actually started a coffee company in Columbus, Ohio, back in college in 2016 with my business partner, and that is Jennings Java Coffee Roasters.
01:02:44.780 We focus every day on very simply a coffee and a smile because at its core, you've been talking about how you feel I'm a very positive individual.
01:02:54.640 at its core for our company something as simple as a three dollar coffee and a smile from the
01:03:02.760 barista can change someone's entire day trajectory so those are the three places lone wolf uh first
01:03:11.240 form jennings java and then if anybody wants to connect directly the easiest way to get a hold of
01:03:17.300 me is my instagram is at the underscore coffee viking sweet man we'll sync it all up it's
01:03:24.740 actually funny because i don't disagree with what you said about coffee um i don't drink coffee and
01:03:31.760 the other one that a lot of guys talk about is how powerful it is to sit around and smoke a cigar
01:03:36.100 i don't smoke cigars so i feel like without drinking coffee and without smoking cigars
01:03:41.960 i don't know maybe i'm missing out on on some some cultural relevance that i ought to tap into
01:03:47.280 But, uh, but I'm excited about what you're doing then.
01:03:50.220 I will say this with the platform you've created with you as an individual, um, it would do
01:03:57.060 you well to maybe have a cigar with some buddies.
01:04:00.020 It just, the relaxation piece to it, the culmination of it, some of my best conversations I've
01:04:08.040 ever had with buddies were at a bonfire with cigars.
01:04:11.760 So don't take it off the table.
01:04:14.300 it's not off the table but i sat down with some buddies i was up in montana it was when i saw you
01:04:19.100 i was hanging out with some buddies actually no it was a couple weeks later i was hanging out with
01:04:22.460 some friends uh and one of my friends has a ranch a nice ranch out there just outside of um
01:04:28.620 kalispell and there was probably eight of us and we sat around the campfire after we put some
01:04:35.320 fencing up for him and everybody got a cigar and i'm like nah i'm not good and there was one other
01:04:40.160 guy that was trying to trying a cigar for the first time they said oh it's awesome you're 0.99
01:04:44.200 going to love it, but it's going to taste like a cat shit in your mouth the next morning. And I'm 0.99
01:04:48.360 like, gee, that sounds fun. I don't think I'm super interested in that. Yeah. Yeah. You got
01:04:53.840 to brush your teeth the night before you have to. Okay. That's the trick. All right. Well, good to
01:04:58.260 know. Um, are you, are you, uh, connected with Sorenex by chance? It seems like you're a guy
01:05:05.380 who would be connected with Sorenex. It's really funny. You bring that up. So lone wolf was asked
01:05:11.920 to attend Winter Strong uh this past year so I don't know if you know uh Brandon Lilly but
01:05:18.300 Brandon Lilly works Brandon's a good friend we hunt together he's yeah well in that case outdoors
01:05:24.280 in that case you tell him I I think he's a two-bit hunter you let him know I said that um
01:05:30.420 so Brandon's a really good buddy he's actually one of our staff guys for Lone Wolf we've created
01:05:36.780 a really good relationship i would i was talking with him this morning actually um so we were
01:05:42.640 invited to winter strong to help and aid in the whitetail education piece at winter strong and
01:05:49.400 through that met bert met you know the rest of the guys tyler danny uh brandon and i hung out
01:05:56.920 and so we've developed a relationship and now soren x outdoors is actually going to be the
01:06:03.640 fitness sponsor for our whitetail education show the whitetail road show which goes on every august
01:06:12.320 it's four different locations and things like that so i'm new to soren x i know of soren x and i'm
01:06:18.980 excited to keep building the relationship with them as well awesome yeah bert brandon danny
01:06:25.720 i've broke bread with all of those guys i've hunted with i don't think i've hunted with danny
01:06:32.500 or Bert, but definitely Brandon a couple of times. They're the best man. So that's cool. I'm glad
01:06:37.580 because when you didn't say Soren X, I was like, wait, what, what's happening right here. So I'm
01:06:42.320 glad you're connected with them. Yeah. Yeah. No, they, they are great guys. Absolute savages as
01:06:48.840 well. Um, and make some of the best fitness equipment in the country. No doubt. No doubt. 0.99
01:06:55.360 Well, brother, I appreciate you. We'll sync it all up. Let's get to know each other better.
01:06:58.760 I'm sure we'll be bumping into each other and create some opportunities to connect.
01:07:02.780 Thanks for joining me on the podcast today, especially in light of the fact that you have an event going on right now and you carved out an hour and a half of your time, which does not go unnoticed.
01:07:12.380 Yeah, I apologize for the shoddy connection right there for a second, but I am at an Airbnb with some unfamiliar Wi-Fi and things like that.
01:07:19.800 So I am on the road right now working an event and things like that.
01:07:23.940 But when you reached out to me, dude, I was like, this is a no brainer.
01:07:27.080 whatever time we can make it happen,
01:07:28.800 we got to talk because I know
01:07:30.080 it's going to be a good conversation.
01:07:32.240 All good, man.
01:07:32.920 Thanks for joining me today.
01:07:35.000 Yeah, appreciate you.
01:07:37.380 All right, man, there you go.
01:07:38.380 My conversation with AJ.
01:07:39.960 I hope you enjoyed the conversation.
01:07:42.340 I hope it resonated and landed with you.
01:07:44.940 Make sure you connect with him,
01:07:46.340 the Coffee Viking over on Instagram.
01:07:48.100 Connect with me, take a screenshot.
01:07:50.500 This guy's energy is just infectious.
01:07:53.540 It's positive.
01:07:54.420 He's encouraging.
01:07:55.240 He's motivating.
01:07:55.840 He's inspiring.
01:07:57.080 And I think you'll learn a lot from him as I have.
01:08:01.060 So glad to connect with you guys here.
01:08:03.240 Make sure to check out the Iron Council over at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
01:08:07.740 Make sure you subscribe and also make sure you connect with us over on YouTube.
01:08:12.560 We're growing heavily over there.
01:08:14.860 The audio for this introduction and close might sound a little different because I'm in a new podcast studio.
01:08:22.740 So I'm going to be documenting that journey as I go.
01:08:26.660 And I'm very, very excited to show you what that looks like.
01:08:30.900 So make sure to go over to youtube.com slash order of man, subscribe.
01:08:35.200 I think we've got 350,000 people over there learning, growing, developing,
01:08:41.580 giving us ideas, insights, debating, sharing, and everything else.
01:08:44.680 So check it out.
01:08:45.440 YouTube.com slash order of man.
01:08:48.700 All right, guys, we will be back next week.
01:08:51.880 No, not next week.
01:08:53.040 Excuse me.
01:08:53.820 Tomorrow for our ask me anything.
01:08:55.720 Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.
01:08:59.860 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
01:09:02.800 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
01:09:06.840 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.