Order of Man - An Introduction to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

00:00:00.000 As many of you know, I've immersed myself in training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu over the past

00:00:04.580 three to four months. And although I'm only getting started on this path, I can see how

00:00:08.920 beneficial and valuable it is to train in martial arts. Today, I have the honor of talking with

00:00:14.240 Andre Almeida. He simply goes by Dedeco, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt who has been

00:00:19.800 practicing for over 30 years. Now we talk about his rocky past in Brazil, how Jiu-Jitsu saved his

00:00:27.080 life, what to look for when getting started on your own path and the mindset needed to be a

00:00:32.880 successful Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. You're a man of action. You live life to the

00:00:37.760 fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back

00:00:43.300 up one more time. Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:50.820 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day.

00:00:55.980 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:00.300 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler and I am the host and founder of the

00:01:04.960 podcast and the movement that is Order of Man. I want to welcome you. I'm glad you're tuning in

00:01:09.700 regardless of how long you've been tuning in and listening and being involved with this mission

00:01:13.660 and the movement. And the movement is to reclaim and restore masculinity in a society that seems to be

00:01:19.640 increasingly dismissive of it. We've got this podcast. We've got tomorrow's podcast,

00:01:24.960 which is an ask me anything episode. We've got Friday's podcast, which is some ramblings from me

00:01:30.020 throughout the week. We've got our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. We've got a

00:01:34.440 Facebook group. We're getting heavily, heavily involved in YouTube. I mean, we've got it all.

00:01:39.000 So if you want to find out more about what we're up to, just search the interwebs and you won't have a

00:01:44.360 hard time finding anything about what we're all about and what we're doing. Specifically with regards to

00:01:50.000 this podcast, I'm interviewing the world's most successful men. These are scholars, athletes,

00:01:55.060 New York times, bestselling authors, entrepreneurs, warriors, basically any man who has an interesting

00:02:00.080 story and a valuable perspective to share with regards to how he accomplished what he's been

00:02:05.980 able to accomplish. And then of course, it's my job to distill that information, get it to you

00:02:10.320 so that you can take that and apply it in your own life and become a more effective father,

00:02:15.080 husband, business owner, community leader, coach, whatever facet of life you're interested in.

00:02:19.640 I've got a great one lined up with Dedeco today. We're going to get into that in just a minute.

00:02:24.280 But speaking of Dedeco, he is a partner with Origin. And I know I've talked a lot about Origin. These

00:02:29.920 guys do Brazilian jiu-jitsu, rash guards, geese, lifestyle apparel, denim. They've got their boot

00:02:36.020 lineup, which is coming online very, very quickly. I'm telling you guys, if you want to get on this

00:02:40.680 very limited first run for these boots that they're making, you better, you better follow

00:02:45.460 them on social media and be connected with them and their email updates, because that's how they're

00:02:51.400 going to announce it. In addition to that, they've got their supplemental lineup with Jocko. It's the

00:02:57.740 Joint Warfare, Super Krill, Discipline, Discipline Go, The Mulk, which is their protein supplement.

00:03:05.340 And then Brian over at Origin just showed me something I didn't even know they had. It's called Cold

00:03:10.100 War. And it's a vitamin C supplement. Essentially, if you get those a little cold or whatever it may

00:03:16.700 be, then it's going to help you fight that off a little bit better and equip your body to be able

00:03:21.780 to handle those things. So I'm definitely going to check that one out. But check it all out.

00:03:25.400 Origin Maine is in the state Maine, originmaine.com. And regardless of what you decide to pick up over

00:03:30.660 there, use the code ORDER. They've been very, very gracious in giving our listeners a discount.

00:03:35.800 Again, the code is ORDER, O-R-D-E-R at checkout, and you'll get a discount on anything at originmaine.com.

00:03:43.540 All right, guys, that's it by way of announcements. I want to introduce you to my friend Dedeco. We met

00:03:50.080 last year at Origins Immersion Camp. And since then, he's really become a friend and a bit of a mentor,

00:03:55.600 although the mentorship has been mostly online via social media. And with as many questions as I've

00:04:02.380 received about me starting Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I can't really think of anyone better to talk with

00:04:07.300 than him. He's been practicing Jiu-Jitsu for more than 30 years now. He credits his life to being

00:04:14.580 introduced to the art. He's a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu national champion, a three-time state champion,

00:04:20.160 a two-time Pan-American medalist. And that's just a little bit of what he's done. On top of that,

00:04:26.840 he's one of the most sincere and genuine people that I know. And I can't wait for you to hear our

00:04:32.500 conversation. I hope you enjoy. I hope this serves you. And I hope to see you guys practicing Jiu-Jitsu

00:04:37.680 before too long. Dedeco, what's going on? How are you, Ray? Glad to be sitting down here with you.

00:04:43.660 Man, I'm so nervous. Thanks for having me. Are you nervous? How many podcasts? Have you done any

00:04:46.600 podcasts? I've done a couple. Yeah, I've done a couple. I feel every time I'm doing it, I'm going to

00:04:50.760 compete. You know, I get that feeling butterflies on my stomach. Is that big for a competition for you

00:04:55.020 still? Do you still get those butterflies? What? Every single, I mean, I haven't competed in a long

00:05:00.200 time, but every time that I did, I always asked myself what I was doing there. Every single time.

00:05:05.700 Like you didn't feel like you belonged there? No, I was scared. I was always scared. But you know,

00:05:10.560 it's funny. I was always scared of what people were thinking about me. And nobody gives a damn.

00:05:18.040 They're all thinking about themselves. Yeah, they always think about themselves.

00:05:20.120 They're thinking the same thing about them that you're thinking about you.

00:05:22.340 Exactly, exactly. So I always had that. But it's funny. After the fights, I couldn't wait

00:05:28.980 to do it again. Is that right? I had a feeling that, oh my God, what am I doing? Why am I doing

00:05:33.200 here? Why am I sitting here? Why am I putting myself through this again? And when the competition

00:05:38.320 was over, I was like, when's the next one? Is that right? I got to do it again. Yes.

00:05:42.900 So when you asked yourself those questions, like, what am I doing here? Why am I here? What's

00:05:47.880 the answer to that? Because I love it. I love that feeling. I love it. I couldn't live without

00:05:53.760 that feeling. I could. By that time, you know, after later, I think my fulfillment became like

00:06:00.240 training my students for. That's how I felt the semi-boterflies because it's funny.

00:06:05.620 Watching my students competing on preparing there definitely was 300 times worst.

00:06:11.580 When it was you. When it was them. Oh, when it was them. Yes. Because you can't be out

00:06:16.540 there. Exactly. There's no control at that point. No control. No, I had no idea what they

00:06:21.260 were thinking, they were feeling. I don't know how that day before it was. I don't know

00:06:25.820 if they slept good. I don't know if they did what they were supposed to do. Right.

00:06:29.760 Oh my God. That was, watch my students were way worse than having myself going there and

00:06:35.800 competing. I know. I felt the same way. I've coached my son's football and baseball

00:06:40.800 teams for, gosh, probably five or six years now. And I agree with you. You agree. If

00:06:46.460 I'm out on the football field, I'm going to be nervous, but at least I can directly impact

00:06:51.720 and affect the game. But once I'm on the sideline, it's just what I've done up to that point.

00:06:57.960 And in my head, I'm like, I hope what I've done up to this point is enough that they can

00:07:02.580 compete successfully. 100%. Yeah. And I'm very hard on myself. And every time that they lost,

00:07:09.560 it doesn't matter the reason, always was my fault. In my mind, always was my fault. I didn't train

00:07:15.380 them enough. I didn't give them enough advice. My gaming plan wasn't good enough. If I told them

00:07:22.520 to take some actions in the middle of the fight, because some students, they follow you, whatever

00:07:28.160 you're asking them. So some students, they go through the wall because of you. And sometimes

00:07:33.700 some decisions that are in the middle of the fight, I ask them to do it. Even they knowing that

00:07:38.860 the wrong decision they did anyway. They still do it. Yes. What do you mean through the wall?

00:07:43.620 You said they go through the wall. Oh, they go through the wall because they believe so much in

00:07:47.300 you and what you've done, what you've done for them. Like if you tell them, hey, don't pass it to,

00:07:53.520 for example, passing guards, right? If I see like many times people competing, I start to look,

00:07:58.280 I say, hey, don't go to the left, go to the right. Even him knowing that the light won't work,

00:08:03.640 the right side won't work well, they would have go anyway and they wouldn't end up getting caught.

00:08:08.800 Oh, yeah.

00:08:09.260 And they wouldn't do anyway. Why? Because they believe so much on me that they second guess

00:08:13.660 themselves, but they never second guess my opinion, which is wrong. They should look in

00:08:19.320 my eyes and maybe say, like shake their heads like, no man, I'm not going there. Which when

00:08:24.540 they get more experience, they do that. They look that when the middle of the fight, they have that

00:08:29.120 eye contact with you. And sometimes just by that action, you know, like, no, no, hey,

00:08:33.620 something is wrong.

00:08:34.540 Right.

00:08:34.840 You know?

00:08:35.580 Yeah. I think what a lot of people do is they take everything so literally that they don't

00:08:41.300 realize that there's little nuances and exceptions to these general rules.

00:08:46.080 100%.

00:08:46.480 I know I've learned that even just over the past couple of days where somebody might say,

00:08:50.400 you know, you always want to keep your elbows in, but there's maybe an exception where you wouldn't

00:08:56.180 do that, right? And if you don't open yourself up to that possibility, then you miss some

00:09:00.820 opportunity.

00:09:01.100 You miss an opportunity.

00:09:02.300 Yeah.

00:09:02.620 Exactly. You don't learn from.

00:09:03.960 Sure.

00:09:04.240 You don't learn from.

00:09:05.480 But I imagine too, that just comes with experience and being on the mats, just being in life and

00:09:12.640 just getting the time really is what it takes.

00:09:14.900 Yeah. It's all about time. It's all about an open mind. Open mind to learn. Learning from

00:09:19.380 everyone. You know, open your mind. You're never going to know enough.

00:09:23.000 Right.

00:09:23.220 You'll never know enough. It's always someone out there that I know more. I won't say know

00:09:29.860 more than you, but I have more experience than you have. They always have something to

00:09:34.380 teach you.

00:09:35.140 Yes. Yes. I also think it's an ego-driven thing.

00:09:39.780 100%.

00:09:40.260 Right. Because if I'm, and look, I'm just getting started doing that on my jujitsu journey,

00:09:43.980 but if I'm on the mat and I want to, I don't want to get caught because that's an ego thing,

00:09:49.780 right? So, so what I will, what I will refrain from doing is experimenting and just trying

00:09:56.360 something that, well, maybe this will work. Maybe it won't work, but if I don't let go

00:10:00.680 of my ego, I won't even try that thing.

00:10:03.140 And you won't learn.

00:10:04.000 Right.

00:10:04.480 You won't learn.

00:10:05.200 Yeah.

00:10:05.440 When I train, when I train my competitors, I, I, one thing that I tell them is this. If

00:10:11.560 you're grappling someone and the person is doing something that's on the training, of

00:10:16.180 course, not on the competition. If someone try a technique against you that you cannot

00:10:21.700 recognize the technique or what he's trying to do to you, allow him to do it.

00:10:27.180 Oh, let him play it out.

00:10:28.300 Let him play because you're going to learn. I grapple. I don't even know how many mats

00:10:33.040 I did. I mean, I'm exhausted.

00:10:35.480 I can't even.

00:10:35.840 I'm sore everywhere. Everything hurts. Many of the guys that I grapple does a meta belt.

00:10:43.080 Talking about, I grapple the white, blue, purple, brown, black belt. Each one that I grapple,

00:10:49.080 they did something that I didn't know. Why? They come from different schools. They come from

00:10:53.780 different lineage. They have techniques a little different the way that they do.

00:10:57.440 Everyone that I was grappling, I felt something that I couldn't really recognize what they

00:11:03.580 were going for. I gave everybody. I let them work on me. Why? Now I know it. If someone

00:11:09.980 else try, I know I won't be so stranger for me what they are trying to do against me. And

00:11:16.440 that's what I, one of my principles in a competition class is this. Hey, let it happen. Let it happen.

00:11:22.660 So when you go to a real competition, you won't get caught. You know, when the real time

00:11:26.700 comes, you will prepare pretty much for everything that they're going to throw at you.

00:11:31.660 Yeah. And that's what I've noticed too, is that even, even just over this week, if I can

00:11:36.000 train and roll with different, even just different, definitely experience levels, but different

00:11:41.220 body shapes too. You know, you have this big barrel chested guy and he's going to move significantly

00:11:46.220 different than a smaller, maybe longer, wiry guy. And, and experiencing as much variance in that,

00:11:53.580 I think will ultimately probably serve me a little bit better.

00:11:55.840 Oh, 100%. Yeah.

00:11:57.020 You got to, you got to work with everybody. Everybody. You know, an explanation that I do,

00:12:01.600 jujitsu, it's our fingerprint. You know, each one of us have a different game. The technique is the

00:12:06.880 same. The umber, the triangle, they're all the same. Sure. But the way that we're going to apply,

00:12:13.400 it's totally different. I'm going to do my triangle in one way because I have my limitations,

00:12:18.680 my body, the way that I move my body and the way that I do, you're going to do totally different

00:12:23.020 than I do. You're going to put it like, you're going to fit for your style, for your body. You

00:12:30.100 know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's what I explain to everybody. I explain to everybody,

00:12:33.080 my students, like when I teach something, I say, Hey, if it works for you doing that way,

00:12:37.820 keep doing. That's the way that's going to work for you. It's not the same way that it's going to

00:12:41.340 work for me. I mean, my teacher, De La Riva, De La Riva is 145 pounds guy. Yeah. I'm a small guy,

00:12:48.140 small guy, skinny guy. I'm a 265 pounds guy. Yeah. I had, he actually helped me understand that.

00:12:57.700 And I adapted everything that he taught me to my body weight and that helped me like tremendous

00:13:03.860 in everything that I did in jujitsu. I think that's probably why there's so much opportunity

00:13:09.060 to learn because when you look at it from the outside looking in and I'm, and I feel like maybe

00:13:13.180 I've just put my toe in the door at this point, but when you look at it from the outside in,

00:13:18.020 it almost seems like at some point you would just kind of learn everything. And yet that's not the case

00:13:22.700 because there's all these little nuances and variables and different styles. Like you said,

00:13:29.100 it's just branched into so many different things that you're going to learn something new every

00:13:32.740 time. It's endless. It's endless. How I see jujitsu today, it's endless because even the techniques

00:13:38.380 that I know, when I watch someone else doing, it's totally different the way that I do. And I pick

00:13:43.880 something, I pick little detail. I'm like, Oh, I really like that one. And I threw in my,

00:13:48.400 perfect. We get a great example today. Christian, when he taught that, Hey, somebody's going to call

00:13:56.140 you. Remember that? Yes. And he leaned back like that. You're right. Well, I told him, Hey man,

00:14:00.540 I'm putting this in my program. I'm going to call all my instructors when I get back and they're

00:14:05.060 going to teach in that way. I love it. So it's always something. And I probably saw that technique

00:14:10.260 like a million times, but he just put something in 32 years. Isn't that crazy? Never.

00:14:17.500 That's how long you've been training jujitsu? 32 years. 32 years. So how old were you when you

00:14:22.740 started? I started jujitsu, I'm 45 now. So I started between my 13 and 14 years old. Yeah. And I'm

00:14:30.800 going to turn 46 in October. So that's why I say like 32 years between 13, 14 years old. So how did

00:14:37.660 you get into it? What was your introduction? What did that actually look like? So it's a funny story

00:14:42.700 actually how I started jujitsu. So jujitsu, I was, I grew up in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

00:14:47.500 And you know, it's all over. Everyone knows how Brazil, if you don't know where you're

00:14:50.860 going, it can be pretty dangerous. Yeah. So, and I had, um, I had a lot of problems growing

00:14:55.480 up around my, when I was 10, 12 years old, like around that age, um, I had a lot of problems

00:15:01.460 with anxiety, like anxiety attacks, panic attacks. So anxiety is my beautiful Boston accent.

00:15:08.960 I know sometimes I'm going to translate it. Your Boston accent, that's right.

00:15:12.560 So please translate for me. Yes, I will. Uh, so I had, I'll say anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.

00:15:19.860 So I, I had panic attacks and a 12 year old kid having those feelings, you know, I'm talking

00:15:26.920 about cold sweating. So yeah. Got so bad at some point that I wasn't leaving my house anymore.

00:15:33.940 I was, I went, I mean, leaving my house, let me rephrase that I wasn't walking in the

00:15:39.280 street by myself anymore. I always thought something was going to happen to me. Like

00:15:44.440 somebody was going to kidnap me. Somebody was going to drive.

00:15:47.220 Did you see something or were you experienced as something or just all the time?

00:15:50.420 I, I, I mean, when I was around 10 years old, someone, they robbed my chain.

00:15:56.660 Oh, just like, yeah. Like ripped it off. Oh yeah. He stopped right besides me with a

00:16:00.800 little knife, one pocket knife. He put a right hit on my ribs and he's like, Hey, give me

00:16:04.960 a chain, give me a chain. And I'm like, and the funny part is the kid that I robbed him,

00:16:08.460 he was smaller than me. Oh really? Yeah. But he had a pocket knife, you know? Yeah. So I,

00:16:13.260 and I wasn't going to do anything anyway, you know, I would have given to him. So I gave

00:16:17.140 it to him and that's when everything kind of starts. Like, I think that's what triggers

00:16:22.520 a little bit what happened to me after, but it's came with like everything, you know,

00:16:26.780 you always see the news, what's going on. And then I'm, again, you'll see it there.

00:16:31.180 Right. Right.

00:16:32.180 And I, I grew up in a great area, but doesn't matter. It's everywhere. So I started having

00:16:40.160 that. And then for one year, I should say six months, one year, my parents started me,

00:16:45.080 bringing me to psychologists, psychiatrists then, because they saw how bad it was getting.

00:16:51.100 Right.

00:16:51.660 I didn't want to leave my house without an adult on my side. So when I was then, I think

00:16:58.540 it was 13, around 13, they brought me to this psychiatrist in Brazil. This guy told them,

00:17:06.820 Hey, leave the room. And I want to talk with him, just me.

00:17:10.380 Oh, so they sent your parents out.

00:17:12.300 Get out the room.

00:17:13.080 Right.

00:17:13.480 And it's going to be only me and him. So I don't remember if I think it was or not,

00:17:18.100 but I have no idea how long I was there for. They called my parents in, but he asked me

00:17:21.940 simple questions. Like, you know, he made me draw a couple of things, couple of questions

00:17:27.200 and, but simple questions. And I answer, we talk, talk, talk. So he called my parents inside

00:17:32.940 again. My parents came inside and he's like, listen, I'm not giving him anything. I'm not giving

00:17:39.100 him a pill. I'm not. He has a confidence problem, self-confidence problem.

00:17:43.160 Ah, yeah.

00:17:44.020 And I have something that's going to happen, help him tremendous. So he wrote in a piece

00:17:49.640 of a paper, a name and a phone number. That was the La Riva.

00:17:54.360 Is that right?

00:17:55.020 He's like, he needs to work at this martial art, bringing him to this martial art called

00:18:00.120 the jujitsu. And let's see how he goes. If it works, beautiful. If it doesn't bring

00:18:06.200 him back. Sure. And then we figure out something else.

00:18:08.600 We can talk about something else.

00:18:09.320 Here I am today, two or 32 years later.

00:18:11.820 That's amazing.

00:18:12.440 Three months doing jujitsu. I was walking on the street by myself. My confidence level

00:18:17.980 up on the roof. I was like, I changed my life. If someone one day needs to prove what jujitsu

00:18:27.000 can do for you, I'm one. I want to be in the front of the line and say, hey, I know how

00:18:32.200 much changed me. And I don't want to say saved my life because I was too young. It's hard

00:18:37.820 to say that, but definitely changed my life. My insecurity, am I saying right?

00:18:45.440 Yeah.

00:18:45.720 Got so bad, so bad at some point that over at night, I was peeing my bed. Like then that's

00:18:53.020 all related. Like later they were explaining my parents because I went to that psychiatrist

00:18:58.940 for a couple more times. And he was explaining, it's all related. It's everything is happening

00:19:04.780 to him. It's related. And three months later, I'm not kidding. Three months later, I was

00:19:10.520 walking, like going to the street to buy, buy something, buy a coffee, whatever. I was going

00:19:16.040 by myself. My parents were like, what? Is that the same kid that was like a year three months

00:19:20.660 ago?

00:19:20.880 In such a short period of time.

00:19:22.100 So quick. So quick. That's the confidence that a jujitsu brought me. It's, I can't,

00:19:27.620 I can't really, it's unbelievable. The feeling, it's unreal.

00:19:30.480 Yeah. Well, and it's interesting too, because you were more capable, but I wouldn't say in

00:19:36.620 three months, you're not completely capable of being able to defend yourself. So it's more

00:19:40.840 than just the capability.

00:19:42.000 Oh, yeah. I, I, I think it's just, I don't know what it is. I can't, I don't know if you

00:19:47.640 ask me, but what was, did you learn the magic technique that you defend a knife? No, I learned

00:19:53.820 the basics, like the most simple things. I don't know what jujitsu gives you. I do believe

00:19:59.460 it's something up in your head, you know, that it makes you feel that made me feel like,

00:20:05.000 you know what? I don't have to be afraid. I'm getting confidence on myself. And of course,

00:20:09.540 through the process, everything is just kept going, kept going. And you know, it's funny

00:20:14.620 years, years later, I was doing jujitsu already. I had a two situations in Brazil that I got

00:20:20.000 robbed with arm on my head. So the guy put a gun, put a pistol on my head and I gave it

00:20:27.360 the card, I gave everything and nothing happened. And it was like, just a situation.

00:20:32.220 It was fine.

00:20:33.060 No problem at all. I didn't stop driving. I didn't stop doing anything.

00:20:36.960 And that's wild. Yeah. Do you remember at 12, 13, 14, that, that timeframe? Do you remember

00:20:44.500 enjoying it right away? Like immediately you knew you were doing right? Or was there some

00:20:49.160 hesitancy even as a child getting, getting into it? And you just felt like, oh, mom and

00:20:52.500 dad are making me do this.

00:20:53.940 No, I was so desperate that I would have gone to try everything.

00:20:57.260 So you wanted to fix things.

00:20:58.600 I wanted because I tried karate. I tried judo and it didn't work for me. But that jujitsu thing,

00:21:05.140 look, you know, it's funny. Uh, you know, it's sometimes I gotta say to

00:21:08.940 Tela Riva helping me a lot. When I started that, I was really fat. Like, I mean, that's

00:21:13.880 not, I mean, not anymore, but at some point I lost a lot of weight. Then I came back after

00:21:17.900 I got married. No, I'm kidding. So what happened is this. I was really fat. Right. And when

00:21:24.060 I was doing karate, my self-confidence, instead of the teacher helping me, he brought my self-confidence

00:21:29.500 even lower than I was because around 10, my parents were like, okay, he needs to put him

00:21:34.240 in karate. Right. Right. So not saying bad about karate. It's not karate. It's the instructor.

00:21:38.840 So the guy, I changed belt and the guy went to tie a belt around my waist. And he's like,

00:21:44.460 Hey man, if you don't stop gaining weight, I get it. I might need two belts.

00:21:47.640 Oh, so he was making fun of you.

00:21:49.520 10 year old.

00:21:50.180 Right. You know, it's pretty impressionable at that point.

00:21:52.440 Dela Riva on the other hand, first class, he turned to me, he's like, man, you were a big

00:21:58.220 kid. You know, jiu-jitsu, your weight is going to help you a lot in jiu-jitsu.

00:22:02.880 Oh, completely different perspective.

00:22:04.860 And as I was going, as I got you, he earned my trust. You know, I started to really trust

00:22:13.220 when our relationship was getting stronger. He started very gently telling me things like

00:22:19.100 that. Dela, you look great, but man, if you lose a little bit of weight, you're going

00:22:24.820 to be way faster. And I'm like, Oh, he's like, you don't have to, I'm just, it's up

00:22:30.340 to you. And I'm like, you know what? I might lose a little weight. And then I start to

00:22:34.440 like, and of course, when I got to his trust, then he was talking to me and the other, like,

00:22:40.040 Hey man, you're so fat, you lose weight, you know?

00:22:41.980 But he's earned that.

00:22:43.620 100%.

00:22:43.900 And you know, it's coming from a position of, of respect and, and, and wanting you to

00:22:49.740 succeed as opposed to pulling you down.

00:22:52.460 100%. Yeah. By then.

00:22:54.820 He was my father. You know, he was like, he was the guy that I look up to, whatever

00:22:59.000 he said. I know he loved him. I know he wasn't making, was the, the friendship type of talk.

00:23:04.220 You know what I'm saying?

00:23:05.100 But when I, before he earned my trust, he was very careful how he would address the

00:23:10.560 weight situation, any situation, which I think is so, I do that with my students today because,

00:23:16.360 you know, it's just a little thing, you know, you got to be careful how you say sometimes.

00:23:20.140 Sure.

00:23:20.400 Because you might make someone quit just because the way that you treated them.

00:23:24.020 Even, even grown men, not just kids, but grown men as well.

00:23:27.560 Oh yeah. 100%.

00:23:28.300 Yeah. Cause I, I mean, it's not easy. It's, it's not easy to go into a gym wherever you're at

00:23:33.480 and, and walk in there completely inadequate. You feel stupid. You've got this weird uniform

00:23:40.260 on that you're not used to. And then you have these other guys who are fit and capable and

00:23:45.880 they're smashing you and they're throwing you all over the mat. And a lot of these guys, like I know

00:23:50.180 I, I do, you know, I pride myself on being relatively fit. Um, I was fairly athletic in school

00:23:55.680 and then to come into the gym and just get tossed around by guys who were 40, 50 pounds lighter than

00:24:01.520 me. I'm like, what is going on here?

00:24:03.140 What's wrong, right?

00:24:03.980 Exactly.

00:24:04.300 What's wrong in here, right?

00:24:05.900 Yeah.

00:24:06.560 That's not normal, right?

00:24:07.760 Of course, it is normal.

00:24:08.760 That's not supposed to happen, right?

00:24:09.920 Yeah. But, but you, you, and because it's not supposed to happen, that's another hurdle that

00:24:16.300 somebody has to overcome on this journey.

00:24:18.540 Yeah. I agree.

00:24:19.640 Yeah.

00:24:20.880 So you've, you've, you've been doing it since you're 13, 14 years old. When, now, when did

00:24:26.580 you come to the States?

00:24:27.700 Uh, 15 years ago.

00:24:28.880 Okay.

00:24:29.440 2004.

00:24:29.940 What brought you here?

00:24:30.960 Uh, Jiu Jitsu.

00:24:31.880 Oh, is that right?

00:24:32.440 It's always Jiu Jitsu.

00:24:33.440 Yeah.

00:24:33.540 It's always Jiu Jitsu.

00:24:34.160 For competing or to train or?

00:24:36.180 No. So, uh, I always, I, before I moved to United States, I, I, I came here many, many

00:24:42.680 times for vacation, for compete, for never teach, but like more only competition.

00:24:49.880 vacation only and, and travel. I came here to visit, like as a vacation a lot.

00:24:55.540 Right.

00:24:56.040 Disney World. I love Disney World.

00:24:57.860 Oh, is that right?

00:24:58.540 I love Disney World.

00:24:59.100 So you'd be in Florida.

00:24:59.760 I love Florida. I love, I mean, I love Disney World. I mean, I don't, I like Florida.

00:25:04.000 I don't like the heat.

00:25:04.860 Okay.

00:25:05.200 Coming from Brazil, it's crazy, but I don't like the heat. The States in Rio, it's not

00:25:09.860 humid.

00:25:10.400 Oh, yeah.

00:25:11.020 So it's really hot, but it's not humid.

00:25:12.680 But not humid.

00:25:13.280 No, not at all.

00:25:14.300 But Florida is very humid.

00:25:16.220 That's, that's why I ended up in Mass. So when we, uh, me and my wife, uh, I'm

00:25:19.860 I, so it's, uh, I came in here in 19, 96 first with Master de la Riva to open a school

00:25:26.080 in Florida. We had an opportunity, but I was too young. I was too immature. I felt really

00:25:31.540 homesick and I couldn't stay.

00:25:33.760 So how old were you at the time then?

00:25:35.380 Oh my God. 96, 23.

00:25:38.520 Okay. All right.

00:25:39.320 I'm born in 73, 23 years old.

00:25:42.400 So that's the first time, uh, is that the first time then that you left, left Brazil

00:25:46.660 indefinitely, I guess you'd say, and then left your parents, right?

00:25:49.620 And you weren't living with them anymore.

00:25:50.740 No, no, I wasn't living with them anymore.

00:25:52.460 And I was moving here to teach Jiu Jitsu right with, uh, de la Riva and we were going

00:25:57.780 to open a school and everything.

00:26:00.040 So I got homesick.

00:26:03.100 I couldn't stay.

00:26:04.160 I was young and my life was, no, I wasn't like on the top of my career.

00:26:09.640 I was winning everything that I was competing.

00:26:11.780 So I built my name really well in Brazil.

00:26:14.460 And I felt like pretty much like, man, if I leave now, you know, it's, I'm on the top

00:26:19.720 of the full chain.

00:26:20.740 I'm going to stop now.

00:26:21.820 Right.

00:26:22.260 You know, like, because I would have to like focus only my students.

00:26:25.200 I didn't know how my life would be here.

00:26:27.480 So I ended up not staying.

00:26:29.040 I stayed three months and I went back to Brazil.

00:26:32.220 In 2000, my teacher, uh, Ricardo Lee Bode, we talk from under Carson Grace, uh, he came

00:26:38.340 to open American Top Team.

00:26:39.940 Okay.

00:26:40.320 And he invited me to move over with him.

00:26:43.280 I didn't want to do it because I had a bad experience in 96.

00:26:46.280 Sure.

00:26:46.500 And I was too afraid.

00:26:47.960 So moving forward, 2003, I got married.

00:26:50.900 And in 2004, uh, something like I felt very unsafe in Brazil, like unsafe.

00:26:59.300 I mean, things was getting hard.

00:27:02.500 I don't want to say hard, but it was getting dangerous, like with robes, with crime and

00:27:07.120 everything.

00:27:08.840 And one day, no, I was coming back from my school and I saw a situation in front of me,

00:27:15.320 a guy with RK, like the drug.

00:27:19.120 Yeah.

00:27:19.460 So it's, if you look like this, as a, uh, we were in a, I'll say a highway, like main

00:27:25.400 street.

00:27:25.980 Right.

00:27:26.700 Uh, so the favela, I have heard about favela.

00:27:29.060 So favela is the slams in Brazil, where like, uh, it's, it's kind of, it's not really

00:27:34.880 a project.

00:27:35.720 It's way worse than a project.

00:27:37.840 It's way worse.

00:27:38.740 And that's where you were at the time?

00:27:40.180 No, no, no.

00:27:40.720 Okay.

00:27:41.020 My town was a very good town.

00:27:42.560 Right.

00:27:42.820 Okay.

00:27:43.000 But the problem is this, doesn't matter where you are in Brazil, we are surrounded by mountains

00:27:49.320 and most of by mountains, that's what they call people leave it there.

00:27:53.860 And people leave it there.

00:27:54.960 Like they were on the slams, like the project.

00:27:57.740 Right.

00:27:58.080 Which is interesting because in the States, it's the opposite.

00:28:00.860 Like the wealthier you are, it seems like the higher you go, right?

00:28:04.980 No, it's the opposite.

00:28:05.900 The opposite.

00:28:06.440 It's the opposite there.

00:28:07.720 It's the totally opposite.

00:28:08.780 And you leave like the most expensive, the most expensive town in Rio de Janeiro.

00:28:14.860 I'm talking about like the most expensive.

00:28:17.620 If you want to buy a house there, probably want to pay like $10 million.

00:28:21.240 It's crazy expensive.

00:28:22.940 The biggest favela, it's there.

00:28:25.460 The biggest, it's crazy.

00:28:27.220 It doesn't make any sense.

00:28:28.360 I know.

00:28:28.760 It doesn't make any sense.

00:28:29.700 And I can't understand it too, but that's how it is.

00:28:32.700 So, one favela was here, this place where the drug dealers are, whatever.

00:28:39.680 So, the guy decides that he wants to go and buy some groceries across the street where the grocery store was.

00:28:47.420 Okay.

00:28:47.720 So, what did they do?

00:28:48.740 They closed the highway.

00:28:50.560 So, the guy could cross the highway.

00:28:52.340 Oh, his crew or whatever?

00:28:54.340 Whatever it is.

00:28:55.040 Sure.

00:28:55.400 They came with RKs.

00:28:57.780 That's how it's said.

00:28:58.420 RKs, like pistols, machine guns, everything.

00:29:02.280 And I was one of the cars right on the front.

00:29:05.100 That they stopped.

00:29:06.080 They didn't rob me.

00:29:07.500 He just pointed the RK towards me and said like, hey, don't move.

00:29:12.080 And so, the guy crossed it and they're like, okay, you can go now.

00:29:15.760 Really?

00:29:16.340 Yeah, man.

00:29:16.920 That's crazy.

00:29:17.500 That's wild.

00:29:17.720 That's wild.

00:29:18.120 I'm talking about like, it's crazy.

00:29:21.600 So, you're married at this time.

00:29:22.740 I was married.

00:29:23.700 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:24.240 And then I got home.

00:29:25.160 I said to my wife, hey, I'm done.

00:29:27.000 I'm done.

00:29:27.640 I can't be here anymore.

00:29:29.000 I can't be here anymore.

00:29:30.680 So, ended up at the same time, my teacher, Liborio, called me and said, Dedeco, I need

00:29:37.620 you over here.

00:29:38.660 We got to put this, develop the gear here.

00:29:42.440 I need you.

00:29:43.220 So, moving forward, he got me to Florida.

00:29:45.920 Me and my wife moved to Florida and he said, we got homesick.

00:29:52.120 You know, we missed the home.

00:29:53.120 I don't know.

00:29:53.560 We just didn't.

00:29:54.720 We didn't like it.

00:29:55.640 I don't know what I think was meant to be for us to move to Mass.

00:30:00.160 Right.

00:30:00.540 Because we had no reason to don't like, but we didn't like.

00:30:04.760 It just didn't fit for it.

00:30:05.700 Yeah.

00:30:06.120 Yeah.

00:30:06.520 But if you ask me why, I have no idea.

00:30:10.100 You can't put your finger on it.

00:30:10.120 I can't, no.

00:30:10.900 Yeah.

00:30:11.120 So, then we moved it to Mass and my instructor said, hey, we got an opportunity in Mass.

00:30:18.600 The problem is it won't be under my wings.

00:30:21.220 I'm like, okay, you know, let's see what's going to happen.

00:30:24.780 So, we ended up here.

00:30:26.740 We ended up in Mass and then everything, we started, you know, from the scratch.

00:30:31.720 And we're so happy to be.

00:30:33.120 Were you training here in Massachusetts under someone else?

00:30:36.380 No, no, no.

00:30:37.280 So, you just started your own school?

00:30:38.460 I put up my own school.

00:30:38.900 Yeah.

00:30:39.120 I opened a small school with one student and then everything's like.

00:30:44.040 Were you doing something else to provide income for the family?

00:30:47.800 I was working with, I started working in BJs overnight.

00:30:52.500 Okay.

00:30:54.540 Stocking, like replacing, fixing everything.

00:30:57.600 You know, I always make a joke about that with my wife.

00:31:00.680 It's so funny, learning things like every time we are in a store and sometimes my wife

00:31:05.380 like picks something on the kids department and she lives on the food department.

00:31:10.580 You're like, don't do that because she's got to fix it.

00:31:11.640 Every single time I say, hey, do you know someone's going to pick that up for you, right?

00:31:15.400 So, that was me.

00:31:16.780 So, it's funny how you learn today.

00:31:19.720 It's crazy how it is.

00:31:21.300 I always go, I pick the thing and put it back in place.

00:31:25.080 Yes.

00:31:25.500 I do the same thing.

00:31:26.440 So, I was in retail clothing.

00:31:28.380 And so, I'll fold shirts because I know if I'm in a store and I like pull a shirt out

00:31:34.240 to look at it, I fold it and I put it back because I know somebody's going to have to

00:31:38.700 do that if I don't do it.

00:31:39.740 It's funny how you learn it, right?

00:31:41.120 That's how I, I never done that.

00:31:42.640 Right.

00:31:42.840 And I learn it like, holy cow, someone does that.

00:31:45.460 Yeah.

00:31:45.680 You know, it's not magically, you know, like.

00:31:47.760 Yeah, it doesn't just get folded and put it back by itself.

00:31:49.780 No, no.

00:31:49.940 It doesn't work like that.

00:31:51.200 Some magician come at night and like, okay, let's do it.

00:31:53.620 No, it doesn't work like that.

00:31:54.920 No, it's funny.

00:31:56.200 And I do.

00:31:56.560 So, I work in many jobs because when we moved here, a funny story was, I spoke that in Pete's

00:32:05.520 podcast about that.

00:32:07.640 I grew up, I was very fortunate in Brazil.

00:32:10.300 I grew up in a very good area.

00:32:11.860 My parents, I come from money.

00:32:13.460 My parents have a lot of money.

00:32:15.640 And my wife's parents, the same thing.

00:32:18.320 Like, we come from a very good situation in Brazil.

00:32:22.400 What I made just move here was really security.

00:32:26.220 But when we decided to move, we, I had this feeling in my whole life.

00:32:33.840 I didn't know what we don't have money for something.

00:32:39.140 Oh, yeah.

00:32:39.500 I had no idea what it was.

00:32:41.380 Yeah.

00:32:41.560 Going to a restaurant and look at the price on the menu.

00:32:44.900 It wasn't an issue for you before.

00:32:46.700 Never was.

00:32:47.640 Never.

00:32:48.640 And I didn't know what a struggle was.

00:32:51.600 I'm talking about struggle.

00:32:52.720 It's many ways different of struggling.

00:32:54.760 Yes.

00:32:55.140 I'm talking monetary struggle.

00:32:57.000 My life in Brazil was like this.

00:32:59.500 My apartment in Brazil was in front of the beach after we got married.

00:33:03.840 My life was waking up, going to my balcony, having my coffee, watching the ocean.

00:33:09.700 I'm like, yeah, the wave is looking good today.

00:33:12.260 I think I'm going to surf.

00:33:13.420 And then go to surf, leave, go to teach jujitsu.

00:33:17.060 You know, that was, my life was settled.

00:33:19.420 Right.

00:33:19.580 It was like settled.

00:33:20.680 Interesting.

00:33:21.080 Me and her, we decided to move here.

00:33:23.520 I moved here with $100 in my pocket and five geese.

00:33:28.420 Everything we did was-

00:33:29.620 Five geese is that what you said?

00:33:30.100 Five geese.

00:33:30.760 Yeah.

00:33:31.120 Five kimonos, five geese.

00:33:32.320 I always hear that, I had 50 bucks, I had $100.

00:33:34.860 I've never heard $100 and five geese.

00:33:37.200 Five geese and a hundred bucks.

00:33:39.720 Why?

00:33:39.980 Of course.

00:33:40.480 I knew Libody was waiting for me here.

00:33:42.400 I have everything set up to start teaching and making money.

00:33:45.460 Right.

00:33:45.560 But I want to, I don't know how crazy that sounds.

00:33:50.820 And some people call me crazy until today, but I want to have that feeling.

00:33:55.060 I want to, the feeling, because it's different when you, you want to experience that, but

00:34:00.660 you know you have a credit card in your pocket that you can just slide to the credit card.

00:34:03.900 Oh yeah.

00:34:04.260 Right.

00:34:04.920 I, the feeling that I want to have, like I don't have anything.

00:34:07.940 I cannot eat.

00:34:09.920 I cannot eat the steak because I don't have the money.

00:34:12.460 I got to go only with the Caesar salad.

00:34:14.280 You know what I'm saying?

00:34:15.380 Yeah.

00:34:15.560 Oh yeah.

00:34:15.840 And I want to experience that, you know, and my crazy wife, which is crazier than me,

00:34:20.560 she wants to do the same thing.

00:34:21.920 She's like, she bought.

00:34:23.200 That's good.

00:34:23.820 It doesn't usually work out like that.

00:34:25.560 No.

00:34:25.780 She was like, you know what?

00:34:26.940 Let's do it.

00:34:27.600 Let's try.

00:34:28.560 And let's see how that goes.

00:34:30.380 You know, it's funny.

00:34:31.880 Made me a way better man.

00:34:36.540 You know what you said about the question?

00:34:37.940 Way better man than I was before because I understood what it was.

00:34:42.620 You know, I appreciate every little, so a very simple story.

00:34:46.800 When we moved here, we got our green card pretty quick because of my ability of jujitsu.

00:34:53.100 So when we, we got here, we applied for our papers and we got like, my green card came

00:34:58.420 in like in three months.

00:34:59.840 It was a really quick process because my ability is what I done before.

00:35:03.700 Right.

00:35:05.040 But we didn't have money.

00:35:06.520 And my green card, I had to pay $12,000 for the lawyers.

00:35:11.380 Really?

00:35:11.920 Oh yeah.

00:35:12.300 12.

00:35:12.660 Now we made a hundred bucks, five geese.

00:35:14.560 Right.

00:35:15.180 $12,000.

00:35:16.220 $12,000.

00:35:17.040 Right.

00:35:17.580 But our lawyer, she was like very nice to us.

00:35:21.520 And she allowed us to pay like slowly, you know, through a month or something.

00:35:26.020 Yeah.

00:35:26.200 But you know how we paid our, our, our, our green card from my wife's tips from Dunkin' Donuts.

00:35:33.980 Is that right?

00:35:34.660 All the tips that she used to get.

00:35:36.580 I have until today, the picture of like buckets full with like coins, quarters, like dollar

00:35:44.000 bill from the chips.

00:35:46.140 And that taught me, doesn't matter where I go, I tip everyone.

00:35:51.780 Yes.

00:35:51.940 Everyone, because that tip was so important in our life.

00:35:56.560 And sometimes, you know, I see people not tipping some, I see people not like appreciating

00:36:01.280 that, but you know, you don't know what the person is going through.

00:36:04.440 You know what I'm saying?

00:36:05.040 Like that was us.

00:36:06.300 That was my wife trying to make a living, try to pay our papers through that tip.

00:36:12.840 And my, I tip everybody.

00:36:14.780 My wife sometimes tell me that I do too much.

00:36:16.560 Is that right?

00:36:17.000 Yeah.

00:36:17.040 But it's, I have that, I feel I owe someone that.

00:36:19.840 Sure.

00:36:20.060 You have that experience.

00:36:21.000 You've seen the other side of it.

00:36:22.780 100%.

00:36:23.180 So you became an American citizen in early 2000s?

00:36:28.100 2011.

00:36:28.920 Oh, 2000.

00:36:29.260 So we got here, we got our green card in 2004.

00:36:32.160 Okay.

00:36:32.540 And then my green card was through work.

00:36:35.360 Okay.

00:36:35.720 So you have to wait five years to apply for your citizenship.

00:36:39.280 Oh, okay.

00:36:39.700 So we wait a little more than five years.

00:36:41.520 I think we ate six or seven years.

00:36:43.200 I'm not sure.

00:36:43.940 And is there a, with your green card, is that, is there a process that you need to renew that

00:36:48.500 as you're doing this?

00:36:49.400 Yeah.

00:36:49.820 But every 10 years.

00:36:51.000 So we didn't get to that.

00:36:51.840 You didn't get to that point yet.

00:36:52.720 No, no, no.

00:36:53.340 In fact, when we had five years, I don't know how it was, but I remember our lawyer called

00:36:59.100 you and said, Hey, how long have you had your green card for?

00:37:01.760 And we are like, Oh, five years.

00:37:03.240 She's like, Hey, you should, you guys should apply for your citizenship.

00:37:06.280 It's about, because she's like, are you staying here or are you moving to Brazil?

00:37:09.920 And I told her, no, no, I'm staying here.

00:37:12.300 I'm not going to Brazil.

00:37:13.340 I'm not moving back.

00:37:14.120 My life is here.

00:37:15.000 Right.

00:37:15.260 My family's here.

00:37:16.240 You know, everything.

00:37:17.180 I mean, I created a family here with my kids and everything.

00:37:20.520 Yeah.

00:37:20.720 And we love it here.

00:37:21.980 And she's like, so you guys should apply for your citizenship.

00:37:24.300 And then we did it and everything went fine.

00:37:27.000 Yeah.

00:37:27.840 It became.

00:37:28.640 We're, uh, well, we're glad to have you and people like you.

00:37:31.620 Trust me.

00:37:32.440 The best decision that I made in my life.

00:37:34.260 Is that right?

00:37:34.900 The best.

00:37:35.480 I would have go through everything again.

00:37:37.200 I tell this all the time.

00:37:38.300 If I had to do it again, I would have do exactly how I did.

00:37:41.600 No question asked.

00:37:42.760 Yeah.

00:37:43.000 Man, let me hit the pause button, the timeout button real quick.

00:37:47.340 Uh, most of, you know, about the iron council by now, uh, it is our exclusive brotherhood.

00:37:52.600 It's all designed to give you the tools and the resources and mostly, and I think this is

00:37:56.120 the most advantageous thing about the council is the accountability.

00:37:59.900 It's the accountability.

00:38:00.940 You need to thrive and accomplish your biggest objectives.

00:38:04.260 Uh, this month we're talking about being prepared for emergencies and potential catastrophic

00:38:09.600 events.

00:38:10.280 But more than talking about these things, we're actively working towards making ourselves

00:38:14.800 more capable as husbands and fathers and business owners and leaders within our community

00:38:20.440 and organizations.

00:38:21.600 And this is why we issue challenges and assignments as tools, tools to bridge the gap between what

00:38:28.420 we know we should be doing as men and what we're actually doing.

00:38:31.920 When I started order of man almost five years ago, that was the thing I wanted to do is to

00:38:37.600 bridge that gap between knowledge and application.

00:38:40.260 And that's what we're doing inside of the iron council.

00:38:43.180 Most men know what they need to be doing.

00:38:45.400 Uh, it's harder obviously to implement these things.

00:38:48.820 And that's why we have the tools and the accountability in the iron council.

00:38:51.860 So if you want to band with us and take that leap from knowledge to action and accomplish

00:38:57.660 more in the next three months than potentially have all year, then head to order of man.com

00:39:02.840 slash iron council.

00:39:04.300 Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council.

00:39:07.580 Learn what we're all about locking your seat at the table and band with us.

00:39:11.200 So you can start taking action as well.

00:39:12.820 You can do that after the show again, order of man.com slash iron council.

00:39:16.440 But now let's get back to my conversation with the deco.

00:39:19.060 I want to pivot and shift gears a little bit.

00:39:22.500 Cause I know a lot of the guys listening have known a little bit that I've, that I'm again,

00:39:26.420 stepping into the world of jujitsu and on the early part of my path.

00:39:29.520 And I've gotten a lot of questions and, and feedback and guys who want to get involved

00:39:34.200 with jujitsu.

00:39:34.940 So I thought we could spend some time talking about the fun.

00:39:38.920 I imagine you don't want to talk about it, right?

00:39:41.000 That's what I love it.

00:39:42.020 You started with, you said one student.

00:39:44.160 One student.

00:39:44.840 Where did that student come from?

00:39:45.980 Uh, he was, so when I moved here, one guy had a school and he said that he had a 30

00:39:55.120 students, 30, 40.

00:39:56.380 I don't, I don't remember.

00:39:57.320 Right.

00:39:57.960 Okay.

00:39:58.380 Then he moved it to Florida.

00:40:00.680 I took his school over.

00:40:02.140 Oh.

00:40:02.760 Instead of 30 was three students.

00:40:05.160 Really?

00:40:05.580 Which two quit.

00:40:07.280 So it's pretty much one student.

00:40:09.220 He was saying there was 30, but there was only three?

00:40:11.280 He was saying there was 30.

00:40:12.620 He was lying.

00:40:13.420 Oh my goodness.

00:40:14.160 Because he wants someone to take his school over because he had to pay a rent.

00:40:19.980 Oh, so you didn't buy it, but you assumed the rent.

00:40:22.160 No, no, no.

00:40:22.500 I kind of like, he left and it's like, oh, that's you.

00:40:25.520 You can go.

00:40:26.200 So you assumed the lease and the rent and all that stuff.

00:40:28.420 Pretty much.

00:40:29.040 Now another story.

00:40:30.300 So look at my life.

00:40:31.120 Oh, geez.

00:40:31.440 When I came in, when I moved, he told me he's renting.

00:40:34.380 He used to rent a space inside of another school, right?

00:40:39.600 And he had an agreement with the guy.

00:40:41.640 So the space is supposed to be $400 a month.

00:40:46.020 So when he moved, move up to 800.

00:40:49.280 So when I went to pay the $400 to the person, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:40:53.220 He looked at me.

00:40:53.740 He's like, no, no, it's 800.

00:40:54.860 I'm like, what?

00:40:55.980 He's like, oh, yeah.

00:40:57.460 I don't want to say the guy's name.

00:40:58.900 Right.

00:40:59.000 So it's like, yeah, he told me, he knew, he knew that when he was moving to Florida,

00:41:05.080 I was going to 800.

00:41:06.660 I said, he never told me.

00:41:08.220 So I ended up like, you know, I told him, I can't pay, I can't pay.

00:41:12.060 So the guy kicked me out.

00:41:13.840 So that one student that I had, he's a dentist and he owns a dentist office and he had a small

00:41:22.320 space on his basement.

00:41:23.940 And he's like, hey, if you want, we can move the school to my basement.

00:41:28.060 You know, and he's like, I'll charge you $300 a month for that space and you can run

00:41:33.640 the classes there.

00:41:34.620 He's like, at least you have me and we can do private classes.

00:41:38.300 You know, years later, he became my partner, my good friend.

00:41:42.020 My wife is actually a dental assistant and works for him.

00:41:45.140 Oh, is that right?

00:41:45.560 He became a part of the family.

00:41:47.220 Oh, wow.

00:41:47.620 Awesome guy.

00:41:48.460 That is.

00:41:49.180 Yeah.

00:41:49.840 Yeah.

00:41:50.140 That's really cool.

00:41:50.400 He actually follows you.

00:41:51.620 Oh, he does?

00:41:52.060 Yeah.

00:41:52.180 He follows you on Instagram.

00:41:54.160 I think he listens to the podcast.

00:41:55.460 Pretty small world.

00:41:56.180 Awesome guy.

00:41:56.640 All of this stuff is connected.

00:41:57.840 It's pretty cool.

00:41:58.780 Yeah, it is.

00:41:59.080 100%.

00:41:59.480 Yeah.

00:42:00.080 So when somebody's getting involved with jiu-jitsu or has some desire to at least try

00:42:04.280 it and maybe go to a class or two, what would you suggest that they look for?

00:42:11.100 First time doing jiu-jitsu?

00:42:12.620 Sure.

00:42:13.080 Or, yeah.

00:42:14.160 Yeah, first time.

00:42:14.900 So if someone, you want to get involved in the world of jiu-jitsu, I'm going to tell

00:42:22.160 by steps what I tell when people, like here I got a hundred people asking me this question.

00:42:25.720 Sure.

00:42:26.340 So what I tell them, number one, everybody that is going to start jiu-jitsu, and that

00:42:31.780 I've been teaching for 20, I don't even know, 25 years maybe.

00:42:36.580 And what I found is this.

00:42:38.940 Everybody that I come through my door, they come from many different reasons.

00:42:45.000 They want to come because they want to lose weight, because they don't have nothing better

00:42:48.960 to do.

00:42:49.400 Sounds funny, but it is true.

00:42:50.580 Some guys say, man, I don't have nothing to do with my life, I'm trying to, you know,

00:42:54.560 my kids are in college, you know, my business is doing so well, I have all the time in the

00:42:58.760 woods, my wife doesn't want me at home, I'm going to try this thing.

00:43:01.900 I can tell it, it's crazy.

00:43:03.200 A lot of guys are listening like, I want that, that's what I want.

00:43:05.980 So it's, they come because they need something.

00:43:10.620 So it's a million different reasons, but they stay for only one reason, and that's what I

00:43:16.960 found.

00:43:17.960 What do they find inside that school?

00:43:20.640 It's not the teacher, it's the family, that group atmosphere.

00:43:25.440 They get so attracted to that group, that camaraderie, camaraderie, camaraderie, that they miss

00:43:38.440 that when they're at home.

00:43:39.680 If they miss one class, I don't know if that happens to you yet, but sometimes you're like,

00:43:44.020 man, I know the guys are there, but the class is at seven, but everyone gets that at six

00:43:51.560 30, I am a goal.

00:43:52.320 So you go early, yeah.

00:43:53.220 I don't know if it happens to you yet, but that happens all the time.

00:43:56.900 So what I tell them, when they go to a jiu-jitsu school, so they are looking for a jiu-jitsu

00:44:01.820 school, right?

00:44:02.480 They're going to have their reasons, but they're going to start, trust me, they're going to

00:44:06.700 stay for one reason, what they find in there.

00:44:10.600 A good teacher, a good instructor, sometimes it's not the best competitor, it's the best

00:44:16.360 teacher.

00:44:17.240 It's not the best athlete, it's the best teacher.

00:44:19.780 I think that's a common misconception.

00:44:21.640 I think just because somebody is a great practitioner does not translate necessarily

00:44:27.400 into them being a great instructor.

00:44:29.960 100%.

00:44:30.560 100%.

00:44:31.740 And I met great, great competitors, great athletes in my life that they couldn't teach

00:44:38.960 anything.

00:44:39.520 Interesting.

00:44:39.860 They were terrible.

00:44:40.820 The same way that I met average guys in the school, and they were the best teachers that

00:44:46.860 I've ever seen.

00:44:47.740 Interesting.

00:44:48.200 It's very funny about that.

00:44:49.580 Yeah.

00:44:49.820 So I tell them to, number one, look for a good school.

00:44:53.260 So when you go to the good school, go with an open mind and see what they are doing there

00:45:02.320 and see if you fit.

00:45:04.660 If that's what you're looking for, because if you're not happy, you won't like jujitsu.

00:45:10.140 You have to be happy in the place that you are.

00:45:12.660 It's funny because as I started jujitsu, I went to a school back where I was, and great

00:45:18.140 school.

00:45:18.920 I had a friend there, but I never really felt like it was my place, if you will.

00:45:24.880 And then we moved here to Maine and came here and started training with Pete and Brian and

00:45:29.580 the rest of the guys, and immediately felt like this is my place.

00:45:34.040 That's what I like.

00:45:35.100 Right.

00:45:35.560 Exactly.

00:45:35.920 I can see that.

00:45:36.900 It's 100%.

00:45:38.560 And I have people that have come to my school, and I have a very successful school.

00:45:45.360 And some people come there, and three months later, they come to me, and they're like,

00:45:50.200 you know, I want to quit.

00:45:51.540 And I can see that they're not fitting.

00:45:55.060 What I tell them, I say, hey, man, don't quit.

00:45:57.900 Look for another place.

00:45:59.300 Maybe here, it's not what you're looking for.

00:46:02.020 Is that why, do you think, those people that you're talking about, is that why they're

00:46:06.340 leaving?

00:46:06.760 Is it because they don't fit, or they don't like it?

00:46:09.580 What is the common reason somebody would throw in the towel?

00:46:12.600 Because it's hard.

00:46:13.820 Yes, I doubt.

00:46:14.420 Because jujitsu, I don't like to say it's hard because it looks like, oh, it's hard.

00:46:18.520 No.

00:46:19.960 You have to leave your ego at the door.

00:46:22.400 It's not comfortable.

00:46:23.280 It's not.

00:46:23.900 There's nothing about it that's comfortable.

00:46:26.220 You're going to hate.

00:46:27.600 But you're going to tap for people that you're going to be so mad at because you are so used

00:46:32.720 to, like, muscle everybody.

00:46:34.660 Sure.

00:46:35.100 You're used to be so fitting in what you do.

00:46:37.240 Yeah.

00:46:38.200 Successful in everything that you've done in your life, you are so successful.

00:46:42.500 But trust me, jujitsu will put you in check.

00:46:45.620 Right.

00:46:45.800 That's what I think is the beauty of jujitsu.

00:46:48.700 So, it's hard.

00:46:52.220 You need to give yourself time.

00:46:54.400 You have to be humble and understand that you'll be very hard.

00:46:59.400 I explain.

00:47:00.020 People see me, and I told it to many people at this camp.

00:47:02.640 When they look at me, they talk.

00:47:04.360 I say, listen, don't forget.

00:47:05.780 I start like you.

00:47:06.900 Right.

00:47:07.260 Everybody has to start somewhere.

00:47:08.320 Yeah.

00:47:08.580 I didn't start like how I am today.

00:47:11.080 The struggles that you have now, I had it too.

00:47:13.960 I had the same thing.

00:47:16.040 I hated that sweat drop in my face.

00:47:19.240 You know, I hate to have somebody's face right here.

00:47:21.520 Right in your face, yeah.

00:47:22.280 But, you know, you just got to keep moving and be humble.

00:47:26.980 Accept the facts, you know, and work for, work to change that.

00:47:32.220 Yeah.

00:47:32.520 That's what I usually tell everyone.

00:47:34.600 I really like the community in general because I have yet to have met, and I'm sure there's

00:47:40.340 outliers, but I have yet to have met somebody who isn't willing to help, instruct, teach,

00:47:45.700 guide.

00:47:46.160 And I imagine a lot of that is because you don't get to your level or even having, you

00:47:51.800 know, five years or 10 years.

00:47:53.100 You don't get to that level unless you've gone through what I personally am experiencing

00:47:59.040 right now as a new practitioner.

00:48:00.900 100%.

00:48:01.460 So, they remember, oh man, I remember what it was like to be frustrated or discouraged,

00:48:06.420 and here's what I did to come over.

00:48:08.060 And so, there's just a lot of that encouragement, although it's interesting because you are trying

00:48:14.200 to hurt other people, and yet, I was thinking about it, I have guys who, you know, they're

00:48:20.080 trying to hurt me, but then they're encouraging me to get better so they can't hurt me, and

00:48:24.500 then we go back to them wanting to hurt me again.

00:48:26.860 It's crazy, right?

00:48:28.060 It's really interesting.

00:48:28.340 They are tapping you, and they're like, no, man, when I tap you like that, you'll get

00:48:31.040 to skip this.

00:48:31.800 Then they catch you in another one.

00:48:32.740 Do the other side, yeah.

00:48:34.080 It's unbelievable.

00:48:35.280 That's the feeling.

00:48:36.200 That's the feeling.

00:48:37.420 That's the feeling.

00:48:38.340 And what I love in Jiu-Jitsu, in this, what you said, how helpful people are, and they

00:48:43.580 tell you, hey, man, I've done that.

00:48:45.640 Don't go in these routes, you know?

00:48:47.400 Change a little bit.

00:48:48.720 It's okay, but don't go in this way.

00:48:51.880 Try to turn it.

00:48:52.700 It's a little easier this way.

00:48:55.040 That's what's the...

00:48:55.940 Instead of like, I think in Jiu-Jitsu, we don't have that, that the guy like, no, I'm not

00:49:02.340 saying anything.

00:49:03.200 I went through that.

00:49:03.980 You got to go through too.

00:49:04.820 Right.

00:49:05.260 I haven't.

00:49:06.360 Again, I'm sure there's people.

00:49:08.160 Probably, but very few.

00:49:10.260 Very few.

00:49:11.140 Very few.

00:49:11.960 If you ask me, have you met someone like that?

00:49:15.240 No.

00:49:15.780 That I can't.

00:49:16.420 Probably I did, but I can't remember.

00:49:18.920 Right.

00:49:19.180 I can't remember.

00:49:19.800 Why do you think that is?

00:49:21.640 Because it is a competitive environment by its very nature.

00:49:25.360 So why do you think that there isn't a lot of secrecy or I'm going to withhold that style

00:49:32.420 from you?

00:49:33.080 There isn't that, although it is competitive and having a competitive advantage is obviously

00:49:38.420 going to be advantageous.

00:49:39.460 So why is it working out like that?

00:49:41.900 You know, I will give you the answer that it might not make sense, but make sense to

00:49:46.000 my opinion is it's a family sport.

00:49:49.220 You want to see your family succeed.

00:49:52.000 Jiu-Jitsu was created, developed by a family, a graceful family.

00:49:56.360 Yeah.

00:49:56.760 That's why I think they want to help each other so much to grow.

00:50:00.500 That's why they say, you know, enjoy Jiu-Jitsu, enjoy a family.

00:50:03.220 You enjoy that family environment.

00:50:05.480 I believe that's why you don't find many people like that.

00:50:08.680 You find people that are, yeah, like parents, you know?

00:50:11.460 Sometimes you got to give a tough love, you know?

00:50:13.840 And you're going to find people in your school that's going to give you the tough love.

00:50:17.100 No doubt.

00:50:17.800 But it's going to give you love, you know?

00:50:19.700 And they want, why they are doing that?

00:50:21.460 They want you to develop.

00:50:23.040 They want you to get better.

00:50:24.840 So that's my biggest belief in Jiu-Jitsu.

00:50:27.500 And that, I think that's attracted me a lot.

00:50:30.260 It's the family idea.

00:50:31.860 It's a family.

00:50:32.980 It's a family.

00:50:33.940 It's a family sport.

00:50:35.060 It's a sport.

00:50:35.640 Sounds crazy the way it sounds, but it's a family created that.

00:50:40.140 Yeah.

00:50:40.340 Years and years ago.

00:50:41.820 And like a family, they fight the two, you know?

00:50:44.220 But at the end, they are together, you know?

00:50:46.380 At the end, they're like, if they need each other, they know they can count on each other.

00:50:50.540 I think that's a-

00:50:51.340 I think that's a great point.

00:50:52.760 That's how I look at Jiu-Jitsu.

00:50:54.040 I told you that to Pete one time.

00:50:56.220 And Pete was telling me like, Tedak, when Pete came over to become my student, he was a purple belt, I think.

00:51:02.340 Okay.

00:51:02.580 And one day, we are talking about that, and he's like, Tedak, I can't understand that.

00:51:07.280 Why is this feeling?

00:51:09.220 Why is this feeling, Jiu-Jitsu, that I feel like you enjoy a group?

00:51:15.500 You became a part of something.

00:51:17.620 I said, Pete, it's because it's the family mentality.

00:51:21.260 He's like, what do you mean?

00:51:23.320 And then I explained it to him, the way that I look at the Gracie family, and he's like, man, I make all the sense in the world.

00:51:30.440 So, yeah, if you think like that, it's a family sport, you know?

00:51:34.580 It's amazing, too, you know, when you look at the Gracies, for example, you see that legacy that has been passed down through generations.

00:51:42.400 And I don't think you find that as frequently as, I don't know, maybe you once did or specifically in this field.

00:51:48.040 You know, parents start doing other things, grand – or excuse me, I should say kids start doing other things, grandkids start deviating and going a completely different way.

00:51:57.700 But within the Gracies, you see that this is life.

00:52:01.660 It's their life.

00:52:02.500 Right.

00:52:02.840 And it's generational.

00:52:04.400 It's generation.

00:52:05.420 Now, it's generation, and don't stop.

00:52:08.200 Very rare you see a Gracie that's not involved in Jiu-Jitsu.

00:52:11.440 Even the women.

00:52:12.960 Is that right?

00:52:13.400 If they're not on the mat, they are part of the IBJJF.

00:52:17.260 They are part of the association.

00:52:19.020 Yeah.

00:52:19.240 They are always involved.

00:52:21.140 And many businesses, if you look at that, you don't see many businesses going through that, those generations.

00:52:26.360 No.

00:52:26.860 At some point, one generation sells everything.

00:52:29.080 Right.

00:52:29.800 Or property, right?

00:52:31.880 I've seen that a lot with property is mom and dad will have, you know, a ton of property.

00:52:36.140 They were running a ranch, and then all of a sudden, little junior takes that property over, and then he subdivides it out, and then the family legacy is gone.

00:52:42.660 Exactly.

00:52:43.100 I mean, it happens quickly.

00:52:43.880 You see this all the time, right?

00:52:45.720 With the Grace family, you just, what I see, and I believe, they just keep getting stronger, and stronger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

00:52:54.100 You see females, like Kira Gracie, she has one of the most beautiful schools in Brazil.

00:53:00.720 Now, she runs a female that owns a school.

00:53:04.000 And some think, if you look at the, I don't even know how many Graces are now.

00:53:07.800 It's so many, and so many of them own schools, doing different things, different tournaments, different seminars, whatever.

00:53:15.260 Yeah.

00:53:15.400 But it is, it is, it is true.

00:53:17.220 Yeah.

00:53:17.460 The other thing that I think a lot about, too, is lineage and how important that is.

00:53:22.240 Mm-hmm.

00:53:22.380 Because one of the things that I, among other things that I think about is, there's no standard, if I am interpreting this correctly, between, you know, what is a white belt?

00:53:32.560 What is a blue belt?

00:53:33.320 What is a black belt?

00:53:34.160 And it could vary so much.

00:53:35.780 And you even see it here, you know, you might be rolling with a white belt, because that's who I'm training with, who has four stripes, and then you roll with them, you're like, don't know if that's legitimate or not, right?

00:53:46.980 Mm-hmm.

00:53:47.180 So, it's, so that lineage is very, very important.

00:53:49.740 Very important.

00:53:50.580 Very important.

00:53:51.340 I agree with you 100%.

00:53:52.640 And one thing in Jiu-Jitsu that you said, the belt, it's, sometimes you roll with a blue belt, and you're like, man, these kids look like a brown belt.

00:54:03.700 And you run with a brown belt that, like, it should be a white belt.

00:54:07.800 You know what I'm saying?

00:54:08.640 Yeah, oh, yeah.

00:54:09.100 It's the variety.

00:54:09.920 It's huge.

00:54:10.800 Yeah.

00:54:11.080 I agree.

00:54:11.600 I agree with you 100%.

00:54:13.020 So, how do you, if you're looking into Jiu-Jitsu, I mean, I wouldn't know.

00:54:17.920 I think I, in a lot of ways, got fortunate being synced up with Pete, then obviously the lineage through you.

00:54:26.400 But how do you know if you don't have that or didn't fall into something that was, you know, as credible as you guys have created?

00:54:34.100 What are you looking for?

00:54:36.760 That's a hard one to answer.

00:54:38.260 Yeah.

00:54:38.460 It's, you get, try to do a search, you know, try to find where they are coming from.

00:54:47.260 It is, you know, and you see this all the time.

00:54:49.920 I see people coming to the school all the time wearing belts that they don't belong in that one.

00:54:54.700 Yeah.

00:54:54.820 You know, and I feel bad for them because somebody, someone is lying to them.

00:54:59.940 Right.

00:55:00.240 But on the other hand, sometimes the instructor is really good, but the person also don't put the time on, you know, and he ended up getting those belts through the years.

00:55:10.380 But he never really put the time to work on that belt, you know.

00:55:15.900 Is the belt system, sorry, go ahead.

00:55:17.840 I don't want to interrupt you.

00:55:18.500 No, no, no, go ahead.

00:55:18.800 Ask him.

00:55:19.140 I was going to ask is, is the belt system, let's say you're, you're, somebody's going to get their brown belt with you, through you.

00:55:27.480 Do you look at that as an objective standard or do you base that on their unique ability and potential?

00:55:38.000 Does that make sense?

00:55:38.800 Yeah.

00:55:38.960 Or is there some sort of objective mark that you say this individual needs to reach this mark or is it very based on who that individual is?

00:55:46.900 That's one problem with Jiu Jitsu and I think that problem, it's take a while to be solved because it's some, in Jiu Jitsu it's so hard to say what I said.

00:55:55.600 A blue belt that I look like a brown belt, a brown belt that I look like a white belt.

00:55:59.440 Right.

00:55:59.880 You know, I think each school, each, each, each instructor, they have their personal way to say, some people do tests, some people do exams or things like that.

00:56:11.520 Sure.

00:56:11.620 I don't.

00:56:12.280 Okay.

00:56:12.700 In my school, I do the way that I learn.

00:56:14.740 So in our time, that's how we used to be on my time.

00:56:18.080 But my instructor, they, he told me, he came and he promoted me when he felt that I was ready for.

00:56:27.040 Right.

00:56:27.180 So it wasn't XM like, oh, you got to show me this.

00:56:29.600 What is ready for though?

00:56:31.060 Me?

00:56:31.240 Ready for the belt.

00:56:32.460 Okay.

00:56:32.920 And he knew.

00:56:34.080 I don't know how to explain.

00:56:35.760 I still do that.

00:56:36.840 It's hard to explain.

00:56:38.000 But you know when the person, by what he's showing, not only as a technique, but as an action, like on the match, if he's been a, if he's been a good teammate.

00:56:50.020 His mentality.

00:56:51.060 Exactly.

00:56:51.860 Okay.

00:56:51.980 Because sometimes your, your technique level, it's up here, but you're not that mature for that level.

00:56:58.940 So you have almost two ways of looking.

00:57:01.360 You have technique.

00:57:02.140 They have to walk together.

00:57:03.560 Right.

00:57:04.040 Okay.

00:57:04.340 You have it to walk together because what happened is I cannot never measure.

00:57:10.300 Like if I'm going to look, I get a 20 year old kid that trains four times, I mean, seven days a week, like a maniac, compete every way, everywhere.

00:57:21.340 He's a blue belt.

00:57:22.120 And I have another blue belt that he's 45 years old.

00:57:25.700 He has three kids.

00:57:27.280 He works full time and he can train three times a week.

00:57:30.900 I can't compare both.

00:57:32.720 Right.

00:57:33.000 On their limitation, how I do, I compare them with themselves.

00:57:37.480 Sure.

00:57:38.060 So usually when I go and give a belt to someone, I look at you.

00:57:43.080 How were you a year ago?

00:57:45.820 Right.

00:57:46.120 Your progress.

00:57:47.320 If you listen in what I'm telling, like in my explanations to you about the technique.

00:57:53.180 Like when I teach a technique, if you understand and try, if you are helping your teammates, if you've been a good teammate, you know what I'm saying?

00:58:01.480 Yeah.

00:58:01.700 So it's a, it's a different level.

00:58:03.700 So how I usually, I promote people and I look at, it's like, for example, Pete.

00:58:08.860 Pete, when I gave him his black belt, he was on the top of the competing Abu Dhabi, competing here, everywhere, training like a maniac.

00:58:15.920 Like he was on the top of that.

00:58:17.900 So he got the belt as like a high level competitor, you know, how he was doing.

00:58:23.000 But he was young, the time was different.

00:58:26.460 And same thing that I wouldn't, if I had to compare Pete with an average guy that again, 45 years old, brown belts, that he's ready to forget his black belt.

00:58:36.640 He wouldn't be on Pete's level of competing, but maybe he would be higher, his level would be higher than Pete as a teacher.

00:58:45.200 Right.

00:58:45.700 Did you get what I'm saying?

00:58:46.780 It's that different levels of, that's how we used to be in our time.

00:58:51.660 You know, sometimes I was in a school and I really thought to one guy that was really good and everything, I'm like, oh, he's going to get his belt today, in my mind.

00:59:01.240 And then the belt promotion come and De La Riva didn't give it to him.

00:59:04.300 And I'm like.

00:59:05.420 What's going on here?

00:59:06.060 Yeah.

00:59:06.480 And I, I remember asking De La Riva one time I said, De La Riva, I really thought you were giving such and such his purple belt.

00:59:14.660 He's like, why, you crazy?

00:59:16.480 And in my mind, I'm like, I'm crazy?

00:59:18.240 I said, man, look at him.

00:59:19.380 He's winning everything.

00:59:22.260 He's like, that's it, Dedeco.

00:59:24.500 He just won tournaments.

00:59:26.020 Right.

00:59:26.520 So what?

00:59:27.040 That doesn't mean nothing, Jiu Jitsu.

00:59:29.480 You know, Jiu Jitsu is way bigger than that.

00:59:32.340 But when he comes to the school, he doesn't help anyone.

00:59:35.380 He's here for about himself.

00:59:37.680 And you know what I'm saying?

00:59:38.420 They all come together.

00:59:39.800 I think like, it's one of the hardest thing in Jiu Jitsu is knowing when someone is ready for the next level.

00:59:46.660 Right.

00:59:47.640 Yeah.

00:59:47.820 That makes sense.

00:59:49.240 As a.

00:59:49.460 Anyway, folks.

00:59:50.440 It makes total sense.

00:59:51.380 Do you understand what I'm saying?

00:59:51.900 Yeah.

00:59:52.100 Yeah.

00:59:52.260 It makes total sense.

00:59:53.220 You know, you're looking at their, their potential, their ability to step in their potential.

00:59:58.060 The, what I would, what I would call, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, the, the hard skill, which is the technique.

01:00:03.500 And the soft skill, which is the leadership, the mentality, the team, the teamwork, the camaraderie, that sort of thing.

01:00:09.840 100%.

01:00:10.200 You have the hard and the soft working together.

01:00:12.120 And that's what's going to determine those.

01:00:13.440 They walk together.

01:00:14.380 Sure.

01:00:14.720 They walk together.

01:00:15.560 Yeah.

01:00:15.620 What is, what should somebody like myself, and maybe this is some individualized coaching here at this point, as far as some, some basic conceptual principles of Jiu Jitsu.

01:00:28.180 Maybe we can talk about defense first a little bit, and then, and then offense.

01:00:33.260 So, as me defending myself as a new practitioner, what are some basic conceptual starting points for me?

01:00:40.980 Number one, if you hurt, tap.

01:00:44.060 That's the number one that I tell everyone.

01:00:45.960 Yeah.

01:00:46.120 Yeah.

01:00:46.180 Cause I do, I, I'll be honest.

01:00:47.940 There's some guys, I'm, I'm not tapping into this.

01:00:49.880 I'm not doing it out of like principle or arrogance or whatever.

01:00:53.600 I'm like, I'm not doing it.

01:00:54.480 And then I end up hurting way worse than I need to.

01:00:56.280 100%.

01:00:56.680 Right.

01:00:58.220 That's why Jiu Jitsu, I, I, I joke about that.

01:01:00.760 I said, listen, when, when, you know, when God, whatever, when the Jiu Jitsu was created somewhere, they taught, they said, hey, the gift of Jiu Jitsu, tap.

01:01:11.580 That's the gift.

01:01:12.560 Yeah.

01:01:12.760 And that's the first technique you need to learn.

01:01:15.080 I tell this to my students.

01:01:16.360 Oh, what are we going to learn?

01:01:17.340 We're going to learn how to tap.

01:01:18.120 How to tap.

01:01:19.280 First technique.

01:01:20.040 Why?

01:01:20.580 You can tap even if someone gets in your sight control and you feel that your ribs is going to pop.

01:01:26.120 Oh, and I have felt that before.

01:01:27.520 Tap.

01:01:27.960 Yes.

01:01:28.420 Tap.

01:01:28.840 Just say, hey, stop, stop, stop.

01:01:30.860 Let's move on.

01:01:31.860 Right.

01:01:32.480 I learned a great lesson.

01:01:33.800 Do you mind if I interrupt that?

01:01:35.100 No.

01:01:35.280 From one guy.

01:01:35.980 Absolutely.

01:01:36.360 His name is Murilo Bustamante.

01:01:38.020 I don't know if you've heard of him yet.

01:01:39.140 So, he was a UFC champion.

01:01:41.540 He's a world champion.

01:01:42.700 He's a coral belt now.

01:01:44.080 He's Carson Grace, our lineage.

01:01:46.380 So, one time I was grappling Murilo, right?

01:01:50.020 Murilo taught me two times in my life.

01:01:54.120 Two lessons that were amazing.

01:01:58.060 I was grappling him one time and we were getting ready for a bigger competition.

01:02:03.060 And his foot, I used to work a sweep that I used to trap your foot very well.

01:02:09.240 And when I go to sweep you, if you didn't go, you would have hurt your knee.

01:02:14.240 Oh, okay.

01:02:14.580 That's how tight the sweep was.

01:02:16.740 Yeah.

01:02:17.640 So, I put everything on him.

01:02:19.920 I was ready to sweep him.

01:02:21.320 He's like, stop, stop, stop.

01:02:22.960 And I stopped it.

01:02:24.320 He looked at my face like, oh, don't let me move my foot out.

01:02:27.400 He took his foot.

01:02:28.740 I had his foot trapped.

01:02:30.120 I'm ready to sweep him.

01:02:31.380 He took his foot out of the position, put outside.

01:02:36.200 He defended my sweep.

01:02:37.800 Right.

01:02:38.240 By moving in position.

01:02:39.140 Just by the house.

01:02:40.060 But stop that grab.

01:02:41.160 Stop.

01:02:41.900 He said, let me take my foot.

01:02:43.220 He's like, somebody has a number on you.

01:02:45.740 You're ready to tap and say, stop, stop.

01:02:47.480 Let me move my arm out of here.

01:02:48.720 Okay, let's go again.

01:02:49.500 It basically means, you got me.

01:02:52.300 Let's try something else.

01:02:53.780 Okay.

01:02:54.080 See how smart.

01:02:54.740 You're way smarter than me.

01:02:55.860 I don't know.

01:02:56.240 Because see that, right?

01:02:57.220 I didn't understand that.

01:02:58.480 Ah.

01:02:58.980 So, he's like, what the heck?

01:03:01.020 I said, what happened?

01:03:02.900 He's like, what?

01:03:04.380 I said, why did you move your foot?

01:03:06.680 He's like, because it's going to hurt me.

01:03:08.040 I said, yeah, but he's like, it's your sweep.

01:03:12.120 You had it.

01:03:12.920 You got me.

01:03:14.260 I have a, we're going to compete in two weeks.

01:03:16.560 I don't have time to recover from injury.

01:03:18.460 Ah.

01:03:18.820 You got me.

01:03:19.340 Let's go again.

01:03:19.960 Right.

01:03:20.600 And that blew my mind.

01:03:22.700 I'm like, this guy, this master, award temple.

01:03:28.980 He was so humble to say, hey, you got me, man.

01:03:32.960 Let me move my foot.

01:03:33.980 Let's keep it going.

01:03:34.880 I'm not getting hurt because of my, you know, my ego.

01:03:38.060 No, that was one lesson that I'm, since that, today, I do all the time.

01:03:44.000 If I feel it's going to hurt you when I start, let me move.

01:03:46.700 Yeah.

01:03:46.960 Let's go again.

01:03:48.260 And the other one, we are grappling one time.

01:03:51.800 And all of us, like we are getting prepared for the Brazilian championship.

01:03:56.380 And we are grappling like maniacs, whatever.

01:03:58.720 So, everybody was kind of like winning the mats against him, like giving him a hard time.

01:04:06.420 So, we ended up talking as, you know, like we are below him.

01:04:10.640 So, we don't, we are all black belts, but we are below him.

01:04:13.480 Okay.

01:04:13.680 So, we are on the corner talking and say, hey, man, maybe we should talk to Murillo to don't compete.

01:04:18.080 Maybe we should.

01:04:19.280 I don't know, man.

01:04:20.020 He doesn't look that good.

01:04:21.080 I don't know what's going on, whatever.

01:04:22.720 You know, we all catch him there.

01:04:24.260 So, moving forward, we went to the tournament.

01:04:27.300 He won the tournament.

01:04:28.440 He won everything.

01:04:29.480 Really?

01:04:29.800 Everyone.

01:04:30.260 Yeah.

01:04:30.660 And we did well.

01:04:31.820 Some won, some not, but whatever.

01:04:33.440 So, nobody understood.

01:04:34.560 Like, what the hell, man?

01:04:35.480 Yeah.

01:04:36.240 He wasn't doing, what happened?

01:04:38.360 So, the week after, we are all at the gym.

01:04:40.400 We used to have the meeting after the competition.

01:04:42.780 And he's like, you know, talking, talking.

01:04:44.660 And then he looked at us.

01:04:45.460 He's like, yeah, guys, ask me the question.

01:04:47.280 And we're like, well, ask him the question.

01:04:49.980 He knew it was coming.

01:04:50.980 He knew.

01:04:51.500 So, someone saw Murillo.

01:04:53.140 And he's like, yeah, I was training something against you guys.

01:04:58.120 So, what he was doing, he was allowing us, attacking him everywhere, going back, what I said, open yourself.

01:05:06.960 Right.

01:05:07.260 So, when he went to competition, he could recognize all his opponent's movements.

01:05:13.560 So, everything that he was like, oh, I know that Deco does this sweep really well.

01:05:18.220 Let him sweep me.

01:05:19.980 Let him see how he does.

01:05:21.240 Right.

01:05:21.460 So, I can stop that.

01:05:22.420 So, when he went to compete.

01:05:24.560 He could see all of that.

01:05:26.220 Yeah.

01:05:26.320 That's what happened.

01:05:27.080 He prepared himself by putting himself in those situations of, I don't want to say weakness, but like of losing.

01:05:37.340 Vulnerability a little bit.

01:05:38.240 Vulnerability situation.

01:05:38.980 Right, sure.

01:05:39.440 Yeah.

01:05:39.580 Like, you know, I'm going to open myself.

01:05:41.320 Right.

01:05:41.700 So, I can see what I'm doing wrong, where they can catch me.

01:05:45.620 Yeah.

01:05:46.380 Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

01:05:47.300 That's two big lessons you taught me.

01:05:48.560 Somebody had talked to me the other day.

01:05:50.800 I said, I was rolling and I think they were watching and I got somebody in like an arm triangle on top, like mountain in an arm triangle and stepped over the side.

01:05:59.300 And for whatever reason, I feel really good about that movement, like the movement itself.

01:06:04.640 And it feels good.

01:06:05.400 It feels natural.

01:06:06.140 And I can usually sink that thing in pretty tight.

01:06:08.580 And I was telling whoever I was talking with that, I'm like, I said that basically.

01:06:12.760 And they said, well, maybe don't do it.

01:06:15.300 So, like, do it so you can drill it, but maybe if you know you can get it, maybe get it, but don't go all the way with it.

01:06:20.860 Just let it go and then move on to something else so that you can expand your horizon and your capability a little bit.

01:06:26.880 That was an interesting thought for me.

01:06:28.280 De La Riva used to tell us that.

01:06:30.540 When you start to work a technique, the first time you like how you said, you know, fits really well for me.

01:06:35.880 It looks like easier.

01:06:36.660 I can get you there.

01:06:38.080 Some techniques will fit you.

01:06:39.760 And you're going to say, that's mine.

01:06:41.000 That's, I like that.

01:06:41.680 So, De La Riva used to tell, De La Riva, that's how De La Riva taught me the process, the mindset.

01:06:48.920 He's like, De Deco, you're going to try that technique 10 times when you start.

01:06:54.860 You're going to fail nine and you're going to succeed one.

01:06:58.440 Then, while you do it, that number is going to get higher.

01:07:01.580 Sure.

01:07:02.060 You're going to start some point.

01:07:04.580 You're going to hit the technique 10 times and you're going to succeed 10 times.

01:07:08.920 But he's like, guess what?

01:07:09.980 Well, after a while, that number is going to decrease again.

01:07:14.860 Out of 10, you're going to succeed eight.

01:07:17.480 And he said, that's the time that you don't do anymore.

01:07:20.500 Oh, interesting.

01:07:21.580 Why does it go down?

01:07:22.460 Why do you start to decrease?

01:07:24.060 Because people start to figure out how to watch you do it.

01:07:27.920 Exactly.

01:07:28.780 Yeah.

01:07:29.060 They learn what you're doing.

01:07:30.340 So, they won't let you get there anymore.

01:07:32.280 Or they're going to have a trap for you.

01:07:34.140 Right.

01:07:34.460 So, they'll set something up.

01:07:35.300 When you go for it, they're going to catch you.

01:07:36.920 Exactly.

01:07:37.620 That's Jiu-Jitsu.

01:07:38.460 It's the chess game.

01:07:39.300 You know, it's all playing chess.

01:07:40.740 Right.

01:07:41.200 That's what he used to tell us.

01:07:42.640 When that number starts decreasing, start switching things up.

01:07:46.660 Stop.

01:07:47.140 Do something else.

01:07:48.420 Let people forget about that one.

01:07:50.220 Right.

01:07:50.560 Then one year later, bring that one back.

01:07:53.060 That's what he taught us.

01:07:54.160 Interesting.

01:07:54.400 I also noticed, I was rolling with somebody, I think it was last night, and he's a big

01:07:59.040 guy, big barrel-chested guy, huge arms, no neck.

01:08:02.360 And I just couldn't get it.

01:08:03.860 And I'm like, okay.

01:08:04.920 Like, if I become so reliant upon this thing, and I have a guy like this, who I can't get

01:08:10.260 this guy trapped in this.

01:08:11.260 It's the guys that we say we can't catch a triangle.

01:08:13.720 Yes.

01:08:14.200 It's impossible.

01:08:14.740 Right.

01:08:15.140 And he was one of those guys.

01:08:16.320 And I was trying as hard as I could.

01:08:17.560 And I'm like, okay, this is not working.

01:08:19.460 And so, I abandoned it and ended up trying to work some other things.

01:08:22.680 But yeah.

01:08:23.400 That's it.

01:08:24.160 That's what he told us.

01:08:25.180 Yeah.

01:08:25.360 If it's not working, do something.

01:08:26.640 You've got to have many options in your game.

01:08:28.640 Right.

01:08:28.760 It's like adding, you know, aim, adding like weapons to your game.

01:08:32.760 There's more weapons you have, more chances you have to succeed in the techniques.

01:08:36.900 What is the balance, though, between having a broad understanding of a lot, but maybe it's

01:08:43.540 not as in-depth or technical as it could be, and having a few little tricks in your arsenal

01:08:49.620 and being extremely, extremely adept with those things?

01:08:54.220 I mean, more towards the last one.

01:08:55.980 Okay.

01:08:56.240 I mean, more towards, I prefer the guy.

01:08:58.160 Fewer, fewer things, better technique?

01:09:00.200 50%.

01:09:00.920 I tell the 50%.

01:09:03.520 The rule, I use to my students rules of 50%.

01:09:07.060 I prefer a guy that I know 50% in everything instead of a guy that I know 100% in one technique.

01:09:13.900 Did you get what I'm saying?

01:09:14.600 You prefer the 50%.

01:09:15.660 I prefer the guy that you said.

01:09:16.960 He doesn't have so many arsenals, but the few ones that he has, he applies very perfectly.

01:09:24.700 Perfectly.

01:09:25.140 Right.

01:09:25.540 Almost at the point that nobody can stop him.

01:09:28.820 Instead of the guy that he has 100 arsenals, and he's everywhere, and he's nowhere.

01:09:34.460 Right.

01:09:34.940 You understand what I'm saying?

01:09:36.200 Well, and it seems to me if you have that, because a lot of what jiu-jitsu is from my

01:09:41.920 perspective is conceptual.

01:09:43.540 It's leverage.

01:09:44.800 It's being able to manipulate in your hips and things like that, that if you become very

01:09:49.980 proficient at a few moves and techniques, that the other ones, you can pick those things

01:09:56.000 up faster.

01:09:56.620 I imagine that the speed of learning is exponential, because right now, as somebody who's been doing

01:10:04.440 this for about three months or so, is I'm just gathering this baseline foundational principles,

01:10:11.000 and then everything else builds upon that.

01:10:12.940 100%.

01:10:13.460 But even these very technical moves and techniques are still built upon that foundation.

01:10:20.960 100%.

01:10:21.400 If you don't know, if you, remember what Vanusa said today, I don't know if Alexei, he said

01:10:26.240 something in Portuguese when he started the whiteout class.

01:10:28.880 Yeah.

01:10:29.320 He said this, if you have a strong, a really strong foundation, you can build a building

01:10:36.520 of whatever levels you want.

01:10:39.240 Sure.

01:10:39.640 If my, so he's always about like, with the stronger foundation, that's what I tell my

01:10:45.820 students, when your foundation, it's very strong, I can build on top of that, I build

01:10:51.700 with 20 floors, 10 floors, five floors, it's up to me.

01:10:56.800 But when my foundation weak, it's weak, I have to stop at some point.

01:11:01.660 It makes sense.

01:11:02.720 You can't continue to build on something that's not there.

01:11:04.680 It gets to the point that I don't have the foundation.

01:11:06.940 You capped out.

01:11:07.500 I won't understand the next techniques.

01:11:08.940 My body won't respond to those movements, to those techniques.

01:11:14.620 It is so important.

01:11:17.440 Roger Gracie, it's one of the best competitors all the time.

01:11:23.240 His game, it's pure foundation.

01:11:27.100 Everything that I, I don't know if you ever looked at him up, look at him up and you see

01:11:31.240 his matches.

01:11:32.300 His best choke, it's a cross choke from mounts.

01:11:35.460 Yeah, so very basic, simple.

01:11:38.540 That's very well done.

01:11:40.360 Interesting.

01:11:41.080 He's very like, he does perfectly.

01:11:44.180 Right.

01:11:44.740 And that's what I believe.

01:11:46.160 I believe in the foundation.

01:11:48.280 I'm, in my school, I'm the one that teach the Y belts.

01:11:51.780 I don't allow anybody to touch my Y belts because I know when I teach them, that's not, that's

01:11:59.040 not, I don't understand my instructors, I do, but I'm the one that I teach them because I

01:12:04.740 want to make sure they learn a good foundation.

01:12:07.220 Once they have that foundation, then they choose what they want to learn.

01:12:10.700 Sure.

01:12:11.020 Make sense how much they want to learn.

01:12:12.040 That's where their style starts to develop and things like that.

01:12:14.180 That's when they start, like, like you, when you, you know, a year, two years from now,

01:12:19.200 you're going to see your style.

01:12:20.500 Like, Hey, I really like this style.

01:12:22.760 And that's how you move.

01:12:24.180 You might tweak things here and there.

01:12:26.320 Sure.

01:12:26.620 But you're going to have your style.

01:12:28.500 Right.

01:12:29.460 Interesting.

01:12:30.860 Yeah.

01:12:31.240 It's been an interesting journey.

01:12:32.500 It's been a fun journey.

01:12:33.320 It's been a painful journey.

01:12:34.280 And I imagine it'll be more so of that, but it has been very interesting, very eyeopening.

01:12:41.080 And I really like what you said as we started this conversation that it helped you build your

01:12:44.640 confidence because I don't lack for confidence in my life, but I've even noticed starting

01:12:49.760 this, this, this path and this journey that I've elevated that.

01:12:54.100 And I, I, I walk a little different.

01:12:56.260 I carry myself a little different.

01:12:57.680 I feel better about what I'm doing.

01:13:00.320 Even though I do get my butt kicked every day, I still feel good.

01:13:03.600 It's different.

01:13:04.480 It's different.

01:13:05.640 Build your confidence.

01:13:06.820 Help, help.

01:13:07.620 I, you know, I believe it helps with everything.

01:13:10.020 Help kids.

01:13:10.800 I have two kids.

01:13:11.620 My two kids do jujitsu and, you know, talk about that tough age.

01:13:16.340 You know, my kids been in a situation, fortunately that they had to use jujitsu.

01:13:20.740 They didn't hurt anyone, but.

01:13:22.960 Fights at school or something.

01:13:24.180 Yeah.

01:13:24.580 My son, my son, what happened is my oldest son.

01:13:27.780 He, my youngest son, he doesn't have much.

01:13:30.080 He never, I mean, my oldest son, he always been the tough one.

01:13:32.880 Yeah.

01:13:33.100 He's tough.

01:13:34.060 He's actually with him.

01:13:35.240 I mean, more very careful.

01:13:37.180 He won't be the one.

01:13:38.300 Oh yeah.

01:13:39.020 Instigating some of that.

01:13:40.060 Right.

01:13:40.200 He's very like, his confidence is up on the roof.

01:13:43.240 But we have, sometimes I have to chop that a little bit.

01:13:45.880 Yeah, sure.

01:13:46.300 But my oldest son, it was the opposite.

01:13:48.980 And my oldest son started training jujitsu really young with us.

01:13:52.620 Mm-hmm.

01:13:53.360 Really young.

01:13:54.140 Three years old, he started.

01:13:56.240 Wow.

01:13:56.480 And he went up, you know, he was, I don't know what age he started, but he used to be

01:14:02.160 bullying the school a lot and he never done anything.

01:14:05.400 And my wife used to, he had so mad at me.

01:14:08.860 Like, hey, you teach all these kids.

01:14:11.160 And my son was doing jujitsu already.

01:14:13.180 Ah.

01:14:13.460 And my wife, like, you have to teach all these kids how to defend themselves as you change

01:14:18.700 these kids' life.

01:14:19.700 Because she heard these stories in the school.

01:14:21.600 Sure.

01:14:21.620 Like, you know, kids that had a bully problem, whatever they became, they speak up for themselves.

01:14:26.260 Right.

01:14:26.720 Right.

01:14:26.860 It's like, you can't help your own son.

01:14:28.680 And I used to tell her that to say, Annie, he hasn't used yet because he didn't need it.

01:14:34.260 Mm-hmm.

01:14:34.520 He didn't feel that he was threatened.

01:14:37.300 Right.

01:14:37.520 Like somebody was really trying.

01:14:38.660 It wasn't serious enough.

01:14:40.360 It wasn't that serious.

01:14:41.520 Right.

01:14:41.700 People were messing with him or bullying him, but nothing that he felt like, oh, my God,

01:14:46.740 they're going to hurt me.

01:14:47.740 Right.

01:14:48.200 So moving forward, years later, he was in a situation at school and two kids jumping on

01:14:54.460 him, like, to really, like, fight to him.

01:14:57.180 Mm-hmm.

01:14:57.340 Two kids that didn't like him.

01:14:58.820 The funny part, the two kids that bullied him all through primary school.

01:15:04.540 Now he's a freshman, but when he was in a middle school.

01:15:07.660 So those are same kids.

01:15:09.220 Same kids.

01:15:09.720 So one day they decided to jump on him.

01:15:12.340 So my son put both kids down and he didn't fight, but he threw both kids on the ground,

01:15:19.500 held one by the neck.

01:15:20.780 So he did the jujitsu.

01:15:21.900 He did what he was supposed to do.

01:15:23.100 Right.

01:15:23.200 And then, so he got home.

01:15:26.540 So we got a call from school.

01:15:27.640 Of course.

01:15:28.020 Of course.

01:15:28.840 Right.

01:15:29.420 And him, when he got home, he told you, I mean, the principal told you the story, but

01:15:35.440 I waited until my son got home to tell me the story.

01:15:37.960 And he was, he couldn't speak.

01:15:41.740 That's how excited he was.

01:15:42.720 He was upset.

01:15:43.180 He was so excited.

01:15:45.160 So afraid, excited, all that feelings.

01:15:47.740 And my wife is on my side.

01:15:49.360 So I said, Lucas, what happened?

01:15:51.500 He's like, daddy, I don't know.

01:15:53.240 Like, what do you mean?

01:15:54.980 What do you mean?

01:15:55.500 He's like, I don't know.

01:15:56.960 I said, what do you mean you don't know?

01:15:58.400 Daddy.

01:15:59.640 They came punching me.

01:16:01.820 When I look, both were on the ground.

01:16:04.120 Oh my goodness.

01:16:05.120 Then I looked to my wife.

01:16:06.480 I said, now you understand?

01:16:08.540 Yeah.

01:16:09.340 Jujitsu, it's on him.

01:16:11.700 Right.

01:16:12.160 He doesn't have to thinking about it.

01:16:13.640 Right.

01:16:13.940 It's so intuitive.

01:16:14.640 His body, so into him.

01:16:17.040 His body knew what to do before his brain told him.

01:16:21.680 Interesting.

01:16:22.040 When he felt that he was going to get hurt, he react.

01:16:27.480 That's Jujitsu, I said, Danny.

01:16:29.100 When Lucas leaves our home every day, he might forget his homework.

01:16:33.580 He might forget his water bottle.

01:16:36.020 But he's never going to forget his Jujitsu.

01:16:38.560 Jujitsu walks with him.

01:16:41.020 And she looked at me and she gave me a big hug like, wow.

01:16:45.700 This is working.

01:16:46.520 And that's working.

01:16:47.720 Yeah.

01:16:47.820 And so fine.

01:16:48.740 Now the crazy part, they're all best friends.

01:16:51.160 Of course.

01:16:52.120 Level of respect.

01:16:53.120 All best friends.

01:16:53.520 Respect.

01:16:53.880 You have to earn that.

01:16:54.520 Change it.

01:16:54.960 He earned the respect.

01:16:55.940 Nobody bothers him anymore.

01:16:57.200 I think that's interesting because I think in society, it seems to be trending towards,

01:17:02.000 you know, we have to be inclusive and we all have to hold hands and sing kumbaya and

01:17:06.000 do this.

01:17:06.580 And it's almost forced in a way when in all reality, it's as old as man himself that you

01:17:11.720 need to earn your position.

01:17:13.200 100%.

01:17:13.600 It doesn't work like that.

01:17:14.480 Right.

01:17:14.940 It works very good in the movies.

01:17:16.320 Yes.

01:17:16.840 But in real life, it doesn't work like that.

01:17:18.700 Right.

01:17:19.000 It doesn't work like that.

01:17:20.220 Yeah.

01:17:20.980 That's good that he did that.

01:17:21.860 Oh, if you call and tell, if you have a conversation about those things another day, right?

01:17:25.480 How I think.

01:17:26.860 No.

01:17:27.380 It doesn't work like that.

01:17:28.380 It doesn't work like, even when the school called me, it was like, you know, I said to

01:17:32.820 the guy on the phone, like the person said, listen, what have you done for the past five

01:17:36.840 years?

01:17:37.180 When I went to you and told you what's going on with my son, you know, clearly, whatever

01:17:42.600 you were doing, the patch talking didn't work.

01:17:45.040 So now he took action.

01:17:46.320 Right.

01:17:46.740 Did what he needed to do.

01:17:47.620 And now it's going to work.

01:17:48.760 Did he get in trouble with school at all?

01:17:50.180 A little bit.

01:17:51.020 A little bit.

01:17:51.120 But I told the, he's like, oh, he, I just said, you know, he's not getting in trouble

01:17:55.620 home.

01:17:55.980 When he gets home, I'm going to give him a big hug and I'm going to tell him if they do

01:17:59.580 that again, you got to ask how you did.

01:18:01.680 Don't hurt them.

01:18:02.720 Right.

01:18:03.100 Don't hurt them.

01:18:03.780 Right.

01:18:04.000 But show them that you're not afraid.

01:18:05.760 Neutralize that threat.

01:18:06.260 Exactly.

01:18:06.400 And that's the beauty of Jiu-Jitsu.

01:18:08.480 You know what the tap is in Jiu-Jitsu?

01:18:10.420 I mean, give you the chance to surrender.

01:18:12.480 It's mercy.

01:18:12.940 I mean, give you the chance to say, hey man, you got me.

01:18:15.440 Let me go.

01:18:16.220 Don't hurt me.

01:18:17.300 If you try to fight, you're going to get hurt.

01:18:19.360 I can keep going.

01:18:20.100 It's your fault.

01:18:21.160 Yes.

01:18:21.820 That's what I tell everybody.

01:18:23.140 When I see someone getting hurt in a submission and they get mad at the other person, I usually

01:18:27.580 say, hey, no, no, no, no.

01:18:28.460 It's your fault.

01:18:30.120 That's why the first thing you got to learn in Jiu-Jitsu, how to tap.

01:18:33.580 Right.

01:18:34.460 Right.

01:18:34.740 What would you say is the minimum, I don't even know if this is a fair question, the

01:18:41.740 minimum that somebody should train, you know, going one day is better than nothing.

01:18:47.160 No, 100%.

01:18:47.980 Let's say that.

01:18:48.460 100%.

01:18:48.780 But what is the minimum that somebody who really wants to be serious about Jiu-Jitsu should

01:18:52.820 look into you as far as training goes?

01:18:54.480 I'll say three times a week.

01:18:55.740 Okay.

01:18:56.000 It's a good number.

01:18:56.780 Yeah.

01:18:56.900 Three times a week is a good number.

01:18:58.280 But try to get there as much as you can.

01:19:00.060 One thing that I like to say, if you don't mind, right, is this.

01:19:02.840 Even if you are late for class, go.

01:19:04.780 Still go.

01:19:05.200 It's not disrespectful.

01:19:06.520 It's better going than not going.

01:19:08.120 And I tell this to my student, I don't care how late you are as long as you come.

01:19:12.980 You know, because at least you're showing up.

01:19:14.820 Right.

01:19:15.080 You're there.

01:19:15.680 It doesn't matter.

01:19:16.420 So I would say three times a week, it will be the greatest number.

01:19:20.380 Twice a week is good.

01:19:21.820 Yeah.

01:19:21.980 It's okay.

01:19:22.500 Good to know.

01:19:22.860 But three times a week, it's a great.

01:19:25.580 That's where you want to get to.

01:19:26.460 That's what I tell everybody.

01:19:27.640 Right.

01:19:27.800 Three times a week, it's a great number to do it.

01:19:30.080 Good.

01:19:30.980 One of the things, and we're winding down here a little bit, but one of the things that

01:19:33.980 you had said before we hit record is that you said, you know, God didn't give me many

01:19:38.740 talents or something along those lines.

01:19:40.460 He said, you said, I hope, or he told me that I hope you find jujitsu.

01:19:46.300 So, I mean, do you really feel like, do you really feel like you were born to do this,

01:19:50.820 called to do this, that God gave you this ability?

01:19:53.100 100%.

01:19:53.460 100%.

01:19:54.100 I joke about that.

01:19:54.920 So, the joke is, because I cannot even change a freaking light bulb in my house, you know,

01:20:00.060 without breaking the thing.

01:20:01.840 I'm telling you, I'm terrible.

01:20:03.200 I'm uncoordinated.

01:20:03.500 It's like grip strength.

01:20:04.880 Right.

01:20:05.340 I can't draw a straight line.

01:20:07.760 You have, I'm talking about, my wife, call my wife when you see it.

01:20:12.340 I'm terrible, terrible.

01:20:14.500 So, I joke all about that.

01:20:15.980 You know, when I was, you know, whatever we are there, I was ready to come to this earth.

01:20:19.940 You know, God looked at me and said, hey, kid, I'm going to give you one gift.

01:20:23.900 I hope you find the gift, because if you don't, you're screwed.

01:20:28.160 Fine.

01:20:28.760 And the gift was jujitsu.

01:20:30.440 I 100%.

01:20:31.240 But I'm not talking jujitsu.

01:20:33.920 It's a, as a, as a competition level, like, oh, I, the greatest competitor.

01:20:38.940 Right.

01:20:39.380 Metals get rusty.

01:20:40.960 Metals get rusty.

01:20:42.240 And nobody remembers.

01:20:43.940 I'm telling you.

01:20:44.860 Of course.

01:20:45.260 Nobody remembers besides myself.

01:20:46.980 Sure.

01:20:47.380 You know, nobody remembers.

01:20:48.820 The gift that I, I think jujitsu, that I got, this gift that people tell that I have,

01:20:53.660 and I, I do believe I do have this jujitsu gift, because I love to teach people.

01:21:00.500 That's my gift.

01:21:01.720 I love to teach people.

01:21:03.140 I love to pass it to people what jujitsu has done for me.

01:21:07.480 Show people how much this martial art can change someone's life and can change your life.

01:21:14.300 Trust me, can.

01:21:15.500 It's a great martial art.

01:21:17.100 It's a great style.

01:21:18.320 It's a great lifestyle type of thing.

01:21:20.580 So, that's, I think, the gift that I have is jujitsu, but not look on the competition,

01:21:25.620 a great competitor, nothing like that.

01:21:27.400 It's to spread the jujitsu.

01:21:30.980 Right.

01:21:31.240 That's what I like.

01:21:32.320 Yeah.

01:21:32.960 Well, I can tell.

01:21:33.680 I mean, obviously, you have an act for it.

01:21:35.200 You've been doing it for a long time, and I can just tell it, like, permeates from,

01:21:38.420 from you into your students.

01:21:40.360 So.

01:21:40.600 I, I, I'm crazy about that thing, man.

01:21:42.680 I mean, I can talk about jujitsu, like, whole day, every day, for, I, I love that thing.

01:21:48.000 I can't live without.

01:21:49.140 Yeah.

01:21:49.660 Yeah.

01:21:49.880 Well, I want to ask you a couple of questions.

01:21:51.900 The first one I, I did prep before a little bit, and that is, what does it mean to be

01:21:55.060 a man?

01:21:56.400 You know, it's funny, uh, the answer, it's like, it's a hard one to answer, like, what

01:22:01.960 means to be a man for me?

01:22:04.660 It's what I think you'll be a good example.

01:22:07.500 You know, you'll be a good example for everyone that's around you.

01:22:11.720 You have people looking at you that you don't, looking up to you that you don't even imagine

01:22:18.340 and they are looking up to you.

01:22:20.260 You might be someone's role model.

01:22:22.300 And what I believe, being a man, it goes together with being a good human being.

01:22:27.100 You have to be a good example.

01:22:29.420 You have to, you know, you have to act the way that you preach.

01:22:34.000 So if I say that I do that, you have to act like that.

01:22:37.240 So I believe being a man, it's been a very good example for or never look up to you, your

01:22:43.020 kids, your wife, your family, your coworkers, you know, the guy that you get the coffee every

01:22:49.000 single day.

01:22:49.880 I think that's a good example to be a man, to be a good person.

01:22:54.360 And I, I, you know, that's what I try to be every single day.

01:22:58.060 Every person that I talk to me, doesn't matter about what, jujitsu life, I, I, I always like

01:23:04.460 to leave a good impression when they see me the first time.

01:23:07.620 And when things comes together with that, that I think, you know, it's not because you

01:23:12.260 are a man that you don't have to smile.

01:23:14.020 I think smile break doors, smile break eyes.

01:23:17.540 Sometimes you look at someone, you know, and just a little smile, you'll just like break

01:23:21.980 it up.

01:23:22.500 It's all it takes.

01:23:23.600 It's just a little smile breaks everything in my opinion.

01:23:27.460 I love it.

01:23:28.140 Well, you're, you're a man who's certainly living that.

01:23:30.260 So I appreciate that.

01:23:31.100 Yeah.

01:23:31.260 I'm always smiling.

01:23:32.140 Always, always, always, always, always.

01:23:33.940 How do we connect with you?

01:23:35.500 Where do we learn more?

01:23:36.480 Where do we connect?

01:23:37.200 Where do we reach out?

01:23:38.620 So you can, you know, people, my phone number is everywhere.

01:23:42.760 I have my jujitsu schools.

01:23:44.540 One is in Weymouth in Mass.

01:23:46.120 I like, man, I felt so dumb.

01:23:49.900 Jaco did a live, live on Instagram.

01:23:53.540 Okay.

01:23:53.860 He called me.

01:23:54.760 Did that, where is your school?

01:23:55.880 I didn't know.

01:23:56.620 I forgot the address.

01:23:58.000 I was so anxious.

01:23:58.840 You have the camera in your face.

01:23:59.280 It's a little different, right?

01:24:00.320 No, you know what scared me?

01:24:01.640 When I saw the number.

01:24:02.980 Oh.

01:24:03.080 I shouldn't look at how many people were watching at that point.

01:24:05.840 Not with him.

01:24:06.280 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:24:07.200 When I saw, it was like 500 something.

01:24:09.640 And then that thing gave me an anxiety.

01:24:11.580 I just had to get anxious.

01:24:12.820 That's right.

01:24:13.080 So I forgot about, but, you know, people can, can find me on Instagram.

01:24:17.720 That could be JJ.

01:24:20.740 Facebook is always my name.

01:24:23.020 I have two schools, one in Weymouth, one in Marshfield in Mass.

01:24:27.120 You can find me in the origin.

01:24:28.980 You can, you can find me anywhere.

01:24:30.820 All right.

01:24:31.100 We'll sync it all up.

01:24:31.980 I really appreciate you.

01:24:33.060 I want to let you know, we met last year at Immersion Camp and I appreciate your instruction,

01:24:38.560 our friendship and everything that you've shared with me.

01:24:41.320 So.

01:24:41.380 All right.

01:24:41.900 I appreciate you too.

01:24:42.380 Thank you for sharing some wisdom with us.

01:24:44.260 It was so nice to meet you.

01:24:45.340 Thanks for everything.

01:24:46.060 But I get a question for you.

01:24:47.220 Okay.

01:24:47.440 When you came last year, I remember you never done Jiu Jitsu before, right?

01:24:50.940 No.

01:24:51.040 Or you did a little bit.

01:24:52.120 Yeah.

01:24:52.380 Maybe a month or so, if that.

01:24:54.220 I would say maybe three to four sessions of training before I came out.

01:24:58.180 So coming to a Jiu Jitsu camp with a month of experience, what did you feel after you

01:25:04.140 left?

01:25:04.640 Because I asked so many people this year that question.

01:25:08.420 Yeah.

01:25:08.520 I'm sorry about, I don't know if we have time.

01:25:10.040 Oh yeah.

01:25:10.280 But the question was, when you left here, you felt like, man, I got to, I got to find

01:25:15.220 your school.

01:25:15.580 I got to keep doing that.

01:25:17.040 You're falling.

01:25:17.320 No, I'm not sure it's for me.

01:25:18.820 It was too much.

01:25:20.120 What's your impression?

01:25:21.300 I was, I was, I was, I was definitely sore.

01:25:24.680 I remember that.

01:25:26.140 I'm still sore.

01:25:27.080 Um, and I remember it being really overwhelming.

01:25:32.500 There was a lot to it.

01:25:34.420 Uh, I actually, so when I got back, I actually haven't trained for probably nine or 10 months

01:25:41.020 when I got back because life, right?

01:25:43.400 There's all sorts of reasons I can come up with.

01:25:45.260 So I've been training over the past two and a half, three months now.

01:25:48.740 And I'll tell you just having the three months under my belt has made this experience a whole

01:25:56.380 lot more meaningful.

01:25:57.720 Got it.

01:25:58.260 It's not that that wasn't meaningful before.

01:26:00.500 And it's not that I would discourage somebody who's never trained to come out.

01:26:04.340 I would certainly invite them to come out.

01:26:05.920 Um, but if they're new, I would say just take it in stride a little bit and don't put a

01:26:12.000 lot of pressure on yourself, undo pressure, I should say on yourself to be out here, but

01:26:15.960 with a little bit more training, not a lot, but a little bit more training under my belt.

01:26:19.260 I'm definitely more adequately prepared mentally for being out here.

01:26:23.140 Awesome.

01:26:23.700 Thank you.

01:26:24.100 I'm sorry.

01:26:24.600 I know you have to ask me, but I asked every single person that I came back from last

01:26:29.200 year because I was with the white belt.

01:26:31.080 I think last year I was with the white belt most of the time.

01:26:33.920 Is that right?

01:26:34.320 Yeah.

01:26:34.500 Oh yeah.

01:26:34.760 I think so.

01:26:35.240 I feel like I was with them most, most, I think every day I was, I was with them at

01:26:40.280 some section.

01:26:41.420 Uh, and everybody that I came back last year, I have a couple of people that I started Jiu-Jitsu

01:26:45.300 at camp and they said, like some said, you know, I went straight to find a school, some

01:26:50.220 like I couldn't find a school.

01:26:51.660 Was it different?

01:26:52.400 So I'm asking everyone the same question.

01:26:53.900 Right.

01:26:53.960 Probably a, probably, probably a pretty wide spectrum as to what they did.

01:26:57.220 Yeah.

01:26:57.280 And you know, it's the first answer.

01:26:58.840 I was very sore.

01:26:59.880 Yeah.

01:27:00.240 All of them.

01:27:01.880 Exactly.

01:27:02.540 I think it might be a personality thing.

01:27:04.080 More than a camp thing.

01:27:06.000 I think you're going to find naturally certain people are just willing to thrust themselves

01:27:10.080 into the fray a little bit and figure out things along the way.

01:27:13.220 And I think others need to be more calculated about it.

01:27:15.540 And that probably will create some of the experience for you as well.

01:27:18.720 Awesome.

01:27:19.240 Thank you.

01:27:19.640 Thank you so much.

01:27:20.340 Thanks again, brother.

01:27:20.420 I appreciate you.

01:27:21.240 Thank you.

01:27:21.700 Gentlemen, there you go.

01:27:24.280 I hope you enjoyed that conversation.

01:27:25.660 I hope, like I said, in the beginning of the conversation that based on this, you will

01:27:30.620 be at least taking a class or going to a class.

01:27:34.360 A lot of the gyms and dojos and studios that I've seen will give you a free class or a week

01:27:41.680 of discounted classes to see if it's something for you.

01:27:44.200 But use what DETECO shared as a tool for growth and progress.

01:27:49.320 And then ultimately stepping into something that is not only challenging, it is Brazilian

01:27:54.520 jujitsu is very, very challenging physically, mentally, emotionally, but it also serves

01:28:01.820 us as men very, very well.

01:28:04.080 And I would encourage every man to at least give it a shot, an honest effort and see if

01:28:08.600 it's something that he can maintain with some level of consistency, because I believe it

01:28:13.160 will help you become a better man.

01:28:15.120 And while you're at it, check out DETECO on Instagram.

01:28:17.660 He's very active over there.

01:28:18.620 You can head to his website, see what he's all about.

01:28:21.260 He's got some great resources on the site and you're going to learn a lot about not

01:28:25.720 only jujitsu, but, but life.

01:28:27.460 And that's all jujitsu is.

01:28:29.040 I shouldn't say that's all it is.

01:28:30.320 That's part of what it is.

01:28:31.620 It's a lesson and an analogy for life.

01:28:35.140 So check it out guys.

01:28:36.560 I hope that was valuable to you and you got a lot from it.

01:28:39.460 Please connect with me also on Instagram and Twitter, Facebook, wherever you're doing the

01:28:44.540 social media thing, YouTube, very, very active on YouTube.

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01:29:08.980 All right, guys, I will sign out as I do every week with a genuine, a sincere thank you from

01:29:14.580 the bottom of my heart for joining me on this mission and this battle.

01:29:18.200 Um, yes, ultimately I had ambitions to help you become a better man by giving you the

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01:29:52.580 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

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Order of Man - September 17, 2019

An Introduction to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ｜ ANDRE "DEDECO" ALMEIDA

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