Order of Man - Ask, Act, Achieve ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 Rachel Gunn character I was telling you about with the breakdancing, you know, you get this

00:00:03.760 person up here in a performance, they're horrible. And we all wonder why nobody ever told them they

00:00:08.320 were horrible. Instead, everybody's like, you're great. You're wonderful. You're amazing. And then

00:00:12.800 they come onto the national stage and they embarrass themselves and everybody else.

00:00:16.500 Wouldn't the more compassionate thing be, hey, you're not good at this. I'm not saying you can't

00:00:22.360 be, but I'm saying that your level of performance isn't where it needs to be for you to perform at

00:00:27.360 this stage that you're attempting to stand on. You're a man of action. You live life to the

00:00:33.220 fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back

00:00:38.760 up one more time. Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:46.200 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day.

00:00:51.440 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:56.540 Dwayne, what's up, man? It's been a long time since I've had the same person other than Kip

00:01:00.420 appear twice in two consecutive weeks on the Order of Man podcast, man. Glad you're here.

00:01:05.340 Yeah. Thanks for having me. How was it last week? Was it weird? Was it uncomfortable? I mean,

00:01:10.040 obviously you've been in front of cameras and talking with people, but for some reason,

00:01:15.480 we get a little weird when we get behind this microphone.

00:01:18.240 Yeah. It is a little different knowing I'm being recorded. I used to do concerts. So I do live

00:01:24.240 production. When I chose that industry, it was the live aspect on purpose because the recorded one

00:01:29.980 was, you could always listen to it and tweak it and kind of analyze it. When you're at a rock show,

00:01:34.520 it was as good as it was that night and everybody there is usually drunk. So it doesn't matter.

00:01:39.720 Well, uh, that actually might be a little value add if our audience was drunk and, uh, wouldn't have to

00:01:45.560 listen to our rambling and our mistakes. I, you know, I did make a conscious effort years and years

00:01:49.980 ago, not to heavily manufacture the podcast. So when guys listen to the podcast, you're hearing

00:01:57.720 the exact conversation. Unless one of my guests says, Hey, I misspoke or I said something I don't

00:02:04.920 really want to put out there. I'm happy to honor that and respect that. But other than that, you're

00:02:09.140 getting all the ums, the Oz, the pauses, the awkwardness, uh, the coughs in the background, the

00:02:14.320 sneezes, you're getting my dog or kids barking or playing in the background. You're getting it all, man.

00:02:19.220 I feel like that's the least we could do. Uh, because I think guys want to be included in the

00:02:23.660 conversation. And if it's overly produced, it doesn't actually feel like a conversation.

00:02:29.200 I think people appreciate that. That's what I've appreciated listening to the podcast for so many

00:02:33.180 years. It's a real conversation with somebody, no matter where you are or what you're doing,

00:02:36.880 like the one in Africa, you're like, we'll take some microphones. We'll do that out in the wild. 0.86

00:02:40.940 And you're like, that's great. We couldn't hear any of the background noises. Everybody always

00:02:44.560 thinks it's more, it's louder to you, the person putting on the podcast than it is the audience

00:02:49.760 most of the time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good, man. Well, like I said, I'm glad you're here and it's

00:02:54.800 always good to know I've got good people here in my absence. And of course, in Kip's absence today,

00:02:58.640 and we'll miss him, but, uh, he's having a good time. So, uh, normally we start things off with a

00:03:03.200 headline. I know you don't have a headline today. I failed to prepare you for that,

00:03:06.320 but I do have one I wanted to talk with about. Uh, and I'm sure by now, you know, there's so much

00:03:12.220 controversy about the Olympics and some of it I think is warranted and other aspects I don't think

00:03:17.920 are warranted. You know, you had the opening ceremonies, uh, you've got this individual who

00:03:23.280 is still yet to be determined whether or not they're a male or a female. Uh, I have my suspicions

00:03:29.560 that this is a male meaning XY chromosomes. Uh, but other people are saying, well, you know,

00:03:35.420 she was born with female genitalia. The way I understand that is that if you have XY chromosomes, 0.73

00:03:41.480 you're a male and there is a birth defect that even with an XY chromosome, you can actually be born

00:03:47.600 with female genitalia. That doesn't make you a woman. It you're still a man, but there's a birth 0.99

00:03:53.160 defect. Anyways, that's actually not the conversation I want to get into today. I wanted to get into this

00:03:58.840 conversation about this Australian quote unquote break dancer. Dwayne, have you seen this, uh,

00:04:04.900 this, this performance to use the term? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, what, what, what an absolute

00:04:14.120 mockery of what it means to be an Olympian. And that's really what it comes down to. Uh, this woman,

00:04:20.540 her name is, I think her name is Rachel gun. She goes by Ray gun. She had come up with a, uh,

00:04:26.400 oppressor or an announcement that, you know, she was, she was being harassed and targeted.

00:04:32.260 And I actually believe that. And I don't think we need to do that. I don't, people have been making

00:04:39.520 dumb mistakes for tens of thousands of years. And it really isn't until the last 20 to 25 years

00:04:46.180 where it's been under so much scrutiny and hostility and hatred. So I don't, I don't like the side of it

00:04:55.400 where she's, she's probably being docked. She's probably being threatened. I don't like that side

00:05:00.880 of it, but that said, I also don't appreciate this woman coming to the Olympics. This is the first year 1.00

00:05:10.580 that break dancing was to be in the Olympics. I don't think it should be in the Olympics anyways,

00:05:14.540 but we'll table that discussion for a second. The fact of the matter, it is, and she came into this

00:05:21.040 to make a mockery of what those other people did to be in, in that spotlight. And that is the issue

00:05:30.480 that I take with the take from it is that, you know, she said, Oh, I, I worked my, my tail off.

00:05:36.720 I worked as hard as I could. I wanted to entertain people. Believe it or not, we still live largely

00:05:41.660 in a meritocracy. And I think if the Olympics can't embrace at its core, the ideal of meritocracy,

00:05:50.700 meaning you're being judged on your performance, I really don't know where else we can do that.

00:05:56.480 And people will say, well, you know, it's, it's about coming together. It's about honoring this

00:06:00.440 and honoring that and working together. She did no honor to those men and women who actually did work

00:06:06.340 their tails off, uh, who actually did perform well. And she actually undermined the very thing that she

00:06:12.880 said that she supports, which is break dancing in the Olympics. Um, I, I just have a hard time when

00:06:19.600 people make light of these situations where other people have poured their heart and soul into for

00:06:26.100 years and decades and potentially their life. So I, I have no sympathy except for the unnecessary

00:06:33.560 targeting and hostility towards her. But I think it's really important that we acknowledge that

00:06:40.800 the Olympics is not about fairness, uh, fairness and competition. Sure. Maybe I'll say equality,

00:06:47.880 not equity. Uh, it's not about making people feel good about underperformance. It's not about

00:06:54.340 inclusivity. It's about performance at the highest level, regardless of sex or age or race or sexual

00:07:03.100 orientation or nationality. It's about who is the best. So I think shame on her for dishonoring, 0.99

00:07:11.460 uh, herself for dishonoring the other athletes and dishonoring the Olympics. That said, again, 0.67

00:07:18.720 my disclaimer is we can still feel that way and not personally attack the woman. Uh, not, you know,

00:07:25.640 just with the level of hostility I've seen and animosity, not just with this, but everything else,

00:07:30.440 it's really, really horrible. We can agree and we can disagree, but I think we need to refrain from,

00:07:35.740 uh, uh, the, the personal assault and attack on individuals just because they do something we

00:07:41.200 don't necessarily agree with unless it threatens ourselves. And then in that case, I'm happy and

00:07:46.780 willing and embrace the idea of fighting for your rights. So that's my headline today.

00:07:54.020 I agree. I think that's a great headline. It was interesting to see other sports too,

00:07:58.980 that would have one representation from a country, but they didn't seem to qualify. They were like so

00:08:05.660 far dead last that they didn't like come up through the normal qualification processes as everybody

00:08:11.020 else. And I feel like that's setting a precedent there of like, Oh, what, what level did you compete

00:08:17.820 at in breakdancing to get to that level? And it's like, Oh, it was, you were just the only breakdancer

00:08:23.260 from that country. That's, that's, that's not competing against everybody else. You said,

00:08:28.700 like you said, that's more inclusive as opposed to like best of the best. So I love to see the

00:08:34.900 best of the best, no matter who it is. It would be interesting at some point to not limit it to,

00:08:40.080 to representation from each country. And you're like, dude, if it's lined with, you know, Russians or

00:08:47.800 English or whoever it is. Okay. That's great. They're the best of the best competing against each

00:08:53.120 other. I think that's really cool. I mean, I see what you're saying, but I also think that

00:08:57.600 undermines the purpose of the Olympics because it is for national bragging rights essentially is what

00:09:03.400 it is. Right. So Russia, you put up your best, America will put up its best, China, Pakistan,

00:09:09.900 Australia, we'll all put up our best and we'll see who is the best. So I think there is some merit to

00:09:16.020 that. And also I think if, cause what you said is in this case, Australia, if she's the only one

00:09:23.840 participating, then she shouldn't qualify. I don't know. I think maybe do let these countries

00:09:29.280 determine whatever their qualifications are and they're going to make a mockery of themselves

00:09:33.380 on the stage, but she deserves no sympathy or empathy for her performance. That's for sure.

00:09:39.500 Yeah. Yeah. She definitely didn't compete with everybody else. No doubt. Well, let's get into

00:09:45.700 some questions today. We have a lot of questions. We've got some great ones from our exclusive

00:09:49.760 brotherhood, the iron council, which opens up in a little less than a month over at orderofman.com

00:09:55.520 slash iron council. And then if we get to it, we'll jump over to Facebook. There was some really

00:10:00.420 good questions I wanted to hit on Facebook and I know you came prepared. So hopefully our thoughts

00:10:05.320 are aligned and we'll get after it today. Let's do it. Who's first we are going to, I did not write

00:10:16.400 down the people who said it. I made notes in a separate, I might be able to tell you. So if you

00:10:22.300 have the question, I might be able to tell you who it is. Cause I've got them pulled up here on my end

00:10:25.280 too. Perfect. Yeah. So I've got the first question I've got is what's, what's the best decision you've

00:10:31.220 ever made in building your business? And was it intentional decision or an adjustment of a bad

00:10:36.200 decision? Whether an intention or an adjustment was, what was your guiding principle that led that

00:10:42.560 action? Awesome. This one comes from Chris Kroom with battle team Navarre. So I was thinking about

00:10:48.740 this. My, the best decision that I made was to niche my message. And the more polarizing I am,

00:10:58.640 not for the sake of being polarizing, but the more firm I am in my beliefs and principles,

00:11:03.360 the better off this movement does. Um, I had an individual the other day and I'm paraphrasing

00:11:08.220 allude to a post that I had made about eight masculine, uh, political positions. And he's like,

00:11:14.380 well, how could you tell another man what he should or shouldn't be? I'm like, I'm not telling another

00:11:19.960 man what he shouldn't or shouldn't be. I'm giving you an opinion. And these are the opinions of

00:11:25.940 myself as a representation of this movement. And if you don't agree with that, we can discuss it.

00:11:31.900 But if you don't agree with the core tenants of what we're doing, this isn't the movement for you.

00:11:36.300 And guys will say, well, that's just your opinion. Well, obviously I know, I know the distinction

00:11:43.440 between an opinion and fact. And so when I say these are eight masculine political positions, 0.95

00:11:48.440 I'm not required to say, this is my opinion because people aren't dumb. Most people aren't.

00:11:53.520 Most people know, Oh, this is this guy's opinion, or this is factual information. And there's a

00:12:01.380 difference to be made, but I'm never afraid of rubbing people the wrong way. Um, I'm not afraid

00:12:06.480 of ostracizing people from our organization and our movement. A lot of people will say, Oh, you need

00:12:12.060 to be more inclusive and you don't want to create an echo chamber. Yeah. I don't want to create an echo

00:12:17.220 chamber, but to say that we're just going to embrace everything and be all inclusive would water down

00:12:22.220 the message and essentially undermine what we're doing here and erode the foundation of what we

00:12:28.060 built. So the best decision that I have made in business is to make a hardline stance about what

00:12:33.080 I believe, what my founding principles are, how they align with our movement to reclaim and restore

00:12:38.360 masculinity, and then to put it out there in a powerful, unapologetic way. If somebody agrees with

00:12:43.840 it, we welcome them here and we'd love to have them here. If somebody disagrees with it, but they want

00:12:48.360 to be included in the discussion. Great. If somebody vehemently disagrees with it and, you know,

00:12:54.540 thinks that our movement is the bane of existence, then screw off, go, go create your own movement of

00:13:00.960 what you think masculinity is or, or what your thing is, but you're not doing it here. And I think

00:13:06.420 there's so much weakness in society today that just says, Hey, we need to include everybody. We need

00:13:10.740 to make everybody feel good. Uh, heaven forbid somebody feels offended or slighted in some way.

00:13:16.340 I don't set out to do those things, but I don't really care if that happens as a by-product of

00:13:21.600 the values and the virtues that I espouse. Yeah, that makes sense. How did that, is that changed at

00:13:28.580 all since you've started the order of man? Like I remember your story of like, Hey, you were doing

00:13:34.260 financial practice and you were doing the podcast, like in the closet, like nights and weekends and

00:13:38.540 like trying to hustle it out. Was that the same feeling and thought early on in your journey?

00:13:43.880 I think maybe early on, I was a lot more curious and inquisitive and what it meant to be a man.

00:13:51.540 But over the past 10 years in doing a lot of research, doing a lot of studying, reading a lot

00:13:56.160 of books, listening to a lot of incredible men, interviewing nearly 500 very successful men.

00:14:01.940 I've come to terms with what I believe masculinity and manliness is. That's not to say I'm not open to

00:14:09.160 exploring other concepts and ideas, but I'm pretty confident and bold in my assertions in a way that

00:14:15.320 I don't think I was 10 years ago. So I still do try to be curious. I still am aware that I,

00:14:22.260 I'm not the epitome of masculinity and I don't have everything figured out. So I'm open to these new

00:14:26.760 ideas, but also I have a lot of strong convictions based on my own personal experience and the experience

00:14:33.880 of those people who have been connected to this movement in some way. Yeah, that makes a lot of

00:14:39.020 sense. I love what you were talking about too, of niching down and saying, this is the audience that

00:14:43.360 I'm going to talk to. A lot of times I've seen people try and be super famous to millions of people

00:14:49.400 and the message gets watered down or they're not sure or clear on what they're providing or how

00:14:55.320 they're going about it. As opposed to saying like, I'm going to be super famous. Like we're going to be,

00:15:00.540 everybody's going to know everything about us in like a thousand people. And that's enough to

00:15:06.720 really get your message out there and to make sure you're making an impact in a movement. Obviously

00:15:10.320 you want it to grow over time, but it's, if you start there, then everybody really understands and

00:15:15.700 you have a very clear vision of what your company aspires to do. I think that's positive.

00:15:20.600 Yeah. Well, I mean, take the most famous person in the world, Donald Trump,

00:15:24.900 and we're not talking about his politics. He is the most famous person in the world currently.

00:15:29.100 I don't even think that's debatable at this point. He's not inclusive. He's, he's, he's one of the

00:15:37.420 most polarizing people out there and he knows exactly who he's talking to. So the idea that just

00:15:43.340 because you are firm in your convictions doesn't mean that you can't have broad or mass appeal

00:15:48.560 doesn't have a leg to stand on. You certainly can. Yeah. You might diminish it. But the thing that's

00:15:54.240 interesting to your point is when you open up your message to everyone, that doesn't allow you to

00:16:01.680 grow. The only thing it does is it looks like a watered down version to the dissenters. And it looks

00:16:07.720 like you're acquiescing to people who don't believe in your mission to those true believers. So you're

00:16:14.120 actually undermining both audiences, the people who really believe in you and the people that you're

00:16:20.240 trying to make feel better about what it is you're saying. It's just not a great way to grow a

00:16:24.900 movement. And look at any movement, whether it's Christianity and Jesus Christ, he didn't pull

00:16:30.920 punches. Uh, look at, look at, uh, Hitler's Nazi, you know, Germany, like they wasn't pulling punches. 0.91

00:16:39.080 And I'm not speaking about the morality of these movements at this point. I'm just speaking of the

00:16:43.480 appeal. When you're strong and bold and convicted, that's where people begin to believe in you and want

00:16:48.760 to follow what it is you're doing. I think, and hope it goes without saying that we want to do this

00:16:53.620 in a righteous way to serve other people, not manipulate, take advantage of, and exploit other

00:17:00.420 people. I think that's good. We'll move on to our next question from Brandon Clement, one of the guys

00:17:08.180 in the iron council. He says, as a veteran yourself, what is your advice today for your current service

00:17:14.040 members such as myself that have been in over half in over the halfway mark towards retirement? So he's

00:17:20.660 in over halfway, like what would you recommend for somebody like that? Yeah. I mean, first of all,

00:17:25.020 Brandon, appreciate your service. Of course. Uh, I'm like you said, I'm a veteran as well. I spent eight

00:17:30.560 years in the army national guard, a year and a half of which was spent in the regular army, uh, in Ramadi,

00:17:36.260 Iraq in 2005 and 2006. So I've got a little bit of an experience with the military, not to the degree

00:17:42.960 that I think you do, but I do have some experience. And, um, I, I can say that the past, uh, 25 years

00:17:51.200 that we're, I don't believe that you're in the same military that you were when you likely signed up

00:17:56.460 for, for the military. I don't know what branch Brandon's in. Uh, this is a completely different

00:18:01.760 army or Navy or Marine Corps air force. It's coast guard. It's completely different national guard

00:18:06.340 reserves. It's completely different, uh, which is unfortunate. And I think as a leader, I'm sure

00:18:12.980 at this point, Brandon, halfway into retirement, you're in some sort of leadership capacity that

00:18:17.660 you have an obligation to your fellow soldiers or Marines. You have, you have a responsibility to

00:18:25.540 teach them right from wrong, uh, teach them about moral conviction, teach them about doing the right

00:18:30.940 thing, teach them about the nobility and the honor that comes with the line of work that you do.

00:18:35.200 Uh, and then also reject some of these repulsive, uh, modern day liberal ideologies like DEI,

00:18:43.060 diversity, equity, inclusion, and making everybody feel special and safe and warm and comfortable and

00:18:48.380 trying to find your true identity as a member of the military, rather than embracing, uh, you,

00:18:54.680 the whole mission first, right? These are all things that I was taught. So what I would suggest

00:19:00.220 is to the degree that you can as a leader inside of your platoon or battalion or whatever the

00:19:05.620 terminology is for you and your service is to embrace these same ideologies that we're teaching

00:19:12.920 here and we're sharing here and share those to the degree that you can and work to influence those who

00:19:18.200 are at your peer level and higher command as well. Um, I would also say on a personal level,

00:19:23.700 as somebody who's maybe 10 or 15 years into your military service that you really strongly consider

00:19:29.560 now what it is you're going to be doing when you transition out of service. And let's hypothetically

00:19:34.760 say that's the next 10 years, 10 years seems like a really long time. And you've got a steady job.

00:19:43.400 You've got a steady paycheck. You've got job security. You're very clear on what it is you're

00:19:48.260 to be doing. Sure. There's some uncertainty with potential deployments and things like this,

00:19:52.760 but ultimately like you're pretty secure and it might be tempting at times, even subconsciously

00:19:58.840 to rest on that, to be comfortable in that. But 10 years is going to come very quickly. And if you

00:20:05.900 haven't thought about what am I going to do when I retire, how am I going to build up, uh, maybe a

00:20:11.020 movement or a thought or an idea or a business on the side while I'm still in the military,

00:20:15.840 you're going to find yourself in a really horrible position come, uh, 2035. So I would really work to

00:20:24.200 figuring out what is your retirement plan now and start building the business or at a minimum

00:20:30.700 building the civilian and military connections that are going to allow you to springboard into your

00:20:36.380 next mission. We're in a crisis right now with military members who are killing themselves to

00:20:42.680 the degree they never have before. And I think a lot of that is derived from a lack of purpose.

00:20:49.260 When they leave the military, you have a very clear purpose. It's been ingrained into you and into,

00:20:55.560 into your DNA. You believe it wholeheartedly. You fight for it literally and figuratively every single

00:21:01.320 day. When that military service ends, things change. And all of a sudden you don't have that

00:21:07.120 same sense of purpose. And that creates a lot of cognitive dissonance in a man. And it's something

00:21:13.100 that a lot of men and women veterans struggle with. So figure out what your next mission is now and

00:21:18.580 build that up over the next 10 years so that when you do decide to retire, you're doing it for the

00:21:23.140 right reason because you want to, and you have something built up and you have a really easy way to

00:21:28.340 transition into your next mission, which allows you to provide your way of life and your family's

00:21:31.860 way of life without any interruptions. Yeah, I think that's really powerful. I took some notes on

00:21:39.400 that. And one of the things that I was thinking about as well is making sure that you're always

00:21:44.200 focused on a succession plan. I'm sure that's something that they preach a lot in the military.

00:21:49.820 I was never in the military. So thank you for your service. And thank you again. Like I really do

00:21:55.580 appreciate everything that you've given for our country. It's awesome to be able to live the life

00:22:00.440 that we do today because of everything that you've given. I know it's hard on the family and getting

00:22:05.080 deployed and all that. But make sure that you're working on your succession plan. Like you want

00:22:10.200 everybody else behind you to be better equipped than you were. I would say teach them like Ryan was

00:22:16.040 mentioning, teach them what you've learned because it's gone well or what you screwed up. Like don't be

00:22:22.100 too proud to be like, dude, don't do that. That's hard. This is why this is how we're going to work

00:22:26.040 around that and making sure that everybody behind you is learning from your, you know, your wins and

00:22:32.740 your learns that you've gone through. And that way, when you do retire, you know, we're still protected.

00:22:38.380 You know that we have the best military because you contributed to it and you're, you're proud of

00:22:43.340 what you've kind of left as a legacy behind in that area of life. And then I love working on

00:22:48.720 something now moving forward. I always like real estate. I think real estate's a good

00:22:52.720 investment for yourself long-term. If you buy a house today, is it going to be worth more or less

00:22:58.160 than it is in 10 years? More, more, yeah, more buy some, right? Like that's something that you can do

00:23:05.520 potentially, um, that can make you some passive income on the side now, or maybe you could sell it

00:23:10.920 later when you actually like get out of the service and retire. So those are a couple of options you

00:23:16.000 could take, but yeah, definitely make sure that you're leaving your post high and tight when

00:23:20.980 you're done. Yeah. I love it. I love it. All right, man. What's next? Um, it's early November

00:23:26.600 Harris waltz have won the election under dubious election results. People are frustrated. What

00:23:32.680 do you do next? Uh, this is from Jimmy Halewood. Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, I mean, the reality is,

00:23:41.280 is that if, and, and here I'm going to throw this prediction out now and it, it makes me throw up in

00:23:46.280 my mouth a little bit. I think that Harris is probably going to win the election. Uh, again,

00:23:51.920 it makes me throw up in my mouth. It makes me really sad for what this country has come to,

00:23:56.100 uh, for the amount of people that believe in complete and utter nonsense, uh, and, and how we've

00:24:02.080 shifted our ideals from these American virtues of rugged individualism and, and strength and

00:24:08.260 sovereignty in our nation. We've moved so far away from that. I think that's, what's going to happen

00:24:13.040 at this stage. Uh, a couple of months ago, I was predicting Trump would win and, uh, the democratic

00:24:19.220 party, you know, threw us a curve ball. And, uh, when you say dubious, look, we don't even have to say

00:24:26.660 outright rigging of an election, but it's dubious when 14 or 15 million registered Democrats vote for

00:24:36.940 a potential candidate in Joe Biden without casting a single ballot or vote for Kamala Harris.

00:24:47.500 That alone is an issue that subverts our democratic system of voting, our Republican way of life,

00:24:55.400 uh, or not Republican, excuse me, our Republic. I should say, I want to clarify when I say that

00:25:01.140 because I don't want that to get confused. Um, so yeah, I think that's, what's going to happen.

00:25:06.560 And obviously it's dubious, not only with her stepping into this role and backstabbing, you know,

00:25:11.200 her, her former president Biden in the back, but also if you just go ahead and take a look at the

00:25:16.680 media and how they're running coverage for this ticket, it's, it's asinine. I think at this,

00:25:24.680 at the time of this recording, we're on 28, 29, 30 days of absolutely zero difficult questions about

00:25:31.700 her political ideology, uh, her controversial comments and wish washing on very important

00:25:40.840 topics to the American citizen. So that's a problem. Like you've got this media conglomerate

00:25:49.000 running cover and, and washing over all of, she's a horrible, horrible candidate. I mean, 1.00

00:25:56.320 she's never done anything great when it comes to politics in, in her entire political career.

00:26:01.780 And to put it mildly, the way she even got into politics was, was, you know, less than

00:26:08.520 reputable means. And that's not even contestable. That's a fact sleeping with supervisors and political

00:26:17.460 people in positions of power to get to where she is today. She's failed up at every single level. 1.00

00:26:23.400 That's not your question, but I just want to set that groundwork.

00:26:27.760 So the first thing I would say is not even after the election, but sometimes when we think about

00:26:32.440 these presidential elections, all we think about is, do I vote for Harris or do I vote for Trump?

00:26:36.920 But we neglect all of the Senate races that are crucial in our States. Uh, I think if I understand

00:26:44.120 correctly that, uh, the Republican party has an opportunity to pick up somewhere between 10 to 12

00:26:49.780 contested, uh, senatorial positions in this election cycle, which would put, if Republicans were able to

00:26:57.220 do that to the magnitude of nine, eight, nine, 10 seats, that would put the Republican party largely

00:27:02.900 in control of Congress, which is crucial. But you also have your state elections, you have county and

00:27:09.940 city elections. These things are also very, very important. So let's not neglect those just because

00:27:15.080 we're looking at whether or not we should vote for Harris, uh, or Trump outside of that. I think

00:27:21.840 more men need to get involved in politics, more men need to be vocal. So if, if it does happen that 0.99

00:27:27.380 way, there needs to be a lot more accountability for media. There needs to be a lot more accountability

00:27:32.320 in the public sectors, uh, and also the private sectors and how government gets involved in these

00:27:37.880 industries and crony capitalism and everything else. But we've talked a lot and we will continue to

00:27:43.100 talk at length about what a man can do, not only within the walls of his home, but in, in the

00:27:47.960 boundaries of his city and how he's supposed to be stepping up to lead people righteously and

00:27:53.740 effectively and not embrace these liberal, liberal ideologies, but instead embrace righteous,

00:28:00.200 conservative principles that we know are time tested to produce favorable results for

00:28:06.120 countries and people. So we got a lot of work to do. Uh, my prediction is she will at this point,

00:28:12.520 when, uh, and it is dubious already, it's only going to be worse. And we have a responsibility

00:28:18.600 to step up and be the men we need to be, including voting, uh, for other candidates outside of the

00:28:25.780 political or excuse me, the presidential election. I think that's really positive to make sure that

00:28:32.120 you're taking it locally as well. And knowing what's happening in your own local community,

00:28:36.520 I think that's going to have a bigger impact to your family and what's going on. I'd take it even

00:28:41.480 one step further is like party agnostic. I get it. Yeah. You're frustrated. Your team lost,

00:28:48.980 right? You're like, what can we do in the future to make sure that your team wins? Like, why was that

00:28:55.880 the candidate that was put up? Like, is that the only option? Can we be serving other men that do have

00:29:01.120 values? Like we aspire to be, they should be somebody that you support. We should be sending

00:29:07.420 people into these positions that represent our ideals. So if you're frustrated, get out there

00:29:12.840 and do something about it. Be involved in your local politics, vote your way, make sure you show

00:29:17.700 up to those board meetings, the community board meetings, whatever that might be. A lot of times

00:29:22.540 it's just because we're not showing up. So you don't have a voice. It's good that you vote. That's good

00:29:27.320 to know. But you vote once every four years, or are you involved on a regular basis in your community?

00:29:34.240 The other thing I would add to that, as you were saying, is not only you be involved yourself,

00:29:38.620 but you need to get other people involved. Like you, you can't do it alone. But if every single one of

00:29:45.100 us went to vote and we brought another person to vote with us, or we went to run for political office

00:29:51.840 and we asked somebody to run with us or to help us champion what it is we're doing, we, as men need

00:29:58.140 to be able to enlist other people in these battles. So often we can make great decisions. Like you're

00:30:04.940 going to go to the ballot box and you're going to vote and you're likely going to make a great decision

00:30:08.620 based on what your heart says at the ballot box. And it's not just about your heart, but hopefully

00:30:13.360 your mind too. We're thinking about this logically. Um, that's great. Everybody can do that,

00:30:18.760 but not everybody is either willing or capable of rallying other men to do the same.

00:30:23.940 And that's the only reason this mission has so much power is not because I believe a certain way.

00:30:28.640 It's because at the risk of sounding arrogant, I have the ability to rally other people around a cause.

00:30:34.660 And so unless you can get other people involved, one, two, five, 10, 20 people involved,

00:30:40.560 then your rights and your ideology, the way you see life is going to be railroaded and trampled on by

00:30:47.040 those people who are good at rallying support. And they might be misguided. They might even be

00:30:53.280 evil. And I think there's a lot of evil going on in politics right now on both sides of the aisle.

00:30:59.200 But if you can't rally people, the other side that can rally will win. And that's really what it means

00:31:04.720 when it comes to these elections is which candidate, whether it's presidential, uh, congressional

00:31:09.860 or city and state, uh, representatives, which candidate can rally their base.

00:31:18.440 And the candidate who can rally the largest base wins. Now there's exceptions. You know,

00:31:23.280 when you have somebody like sleepy Joe Biden, uh, I don't think that Trump necessarily needed to

00:31:29.460 rally his base because Biden did such a horrible job in his tenure as president that his base just

00:31:35.660 wouldn't come out and show up. But let's be really honest. Kamala has got an energized base

00:31:40.900 that is going to come out and vote. And we need to be honest about that so we can adequately fight

00:31:46.220 against it. And that means that we need to learn how to rally the troops and the support around

00:31:51.300 a more righteous and noble cause. Yeah, I agree. Next question comes from Woody Lord.

00:32:00.980 When making a 20 year vision, how do you personally like to approach it? Do you start at 20 and work

00:32:07.400 your way backwards or do you start at year one and work your way forward or something completely

00:32:12.240 different? Yeah, I don't, I don't plan in it. I don't, I don't have a 20 year plan. I mean, I don't,

00:32:18.880 I actually don't even know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight, let alone what I'm going to be

00:32:23.300 doing in 20 years. So the 20 year plan isn't a thing for me. Now there might be long-term goals and

00:32:29.480 objectives, but they're, they're, they're loosely and broadly defined. They're not really hyper

00:32:34.340 specific. I get hyper specific when you start getting into the sub 12 month category. So what

00:32:39.820 am I going to do this year? And specifically, what am I going to accomplish this quarter?

00:32:45.120 That's where I get really, really specific, but I do have a vision for myself, but it's not

00:32:50.800 what am I going to do? It's who am I going to be? And there's a real distinction about the way I'm

00:33:00.240 going to show up for my family, the way I'm going to show up in this business and this movement that

00:33:04.460 we're creating, how I'm going to look physically, mentally, emotionally, my connection and relationship

00:33:09.420 with God. That's who I'm going to be. And then I leave how it's going to happen with the exception of

00:33:16.820 my next, you know, 90 day, 90 days to 12 months. I let the results take care of themselves because

00:33:23.940 I don't know what's going to happen. 10 years ago, if you would have said, Hey, Ryan, you're going to

00:33:27.660 be running this movement of millions and millions of men all rallying behind the cause of reclaiming

00:33:33.000 and restoring masculinity. I'd have been like, what the hell are you even talking about? I was doing

00:33:38.320 well in my financial planning practice and I enjoyed it for the most part. And I was making good money.

00:33:43.020 I knew how I wanted to show up, but if I wasn't open, cause I had pigeonholed myself into some

00:33:48.440 plan over 20 years, I may not be in this position right now. And you may not be listening to this

00:33:53.400 podcast. So I tend to look at the longer term as more behavioral and idealistic rather than

00:34:03.780 pragmatic and practical. Cause I don't know what that's actually going to look like. There's new

00:34:08.160 technology. I'm going to have new experiences. Two years ago, I got a divorce that wasn't in my cards.

00:34:15.120 I hadn't planned for that. And that changes me. So now I'm a divorced man, a single father. And so

00:34:21.540 what does that look like? And how does that impact the way I view the world and the way I view the work

00:34:26.700 that I'm doing? I would have never have guessed that that wasn't my dream or goal or vision or

00:34:31.740 anything like that, but it happened nonetheless. And so we need to adjust and pivot, but I always know

00:34:36.680 what kind of man I want to be and how I want to show up. And then the most I'm going to get in

00:34:40.640 practicality is 12 months out. Uh, but more specifically 90 days at a time, what is it

00:34:47.260 specifically that I'm going to going to accomplish in each area or aspect of my life? That's how I plan

00:34:53.780 personally. And that's very much in alignment with what we do in the iron council through the battle

00:34:57.560 planning process. I think that's powerful. I had, I had very similar thoughts on that as like the 20

00:35:05.400 year is really far out. I would say something that is helpful just to like, make sure that you're

00:35:11.320 centered on who you want to be as a man. We've done this here in the iron council is write your

00:35:16.240 eulogy, like write down what you want people to say about you when like after you die, like

00:35:23.080 everybody's gathered around. How many people are there? Is it a party? Is it somber? Is your family

00:35:29.240 there? Do you have great grandkids? Like, what does that look like in what stories are they going to tell?

00:35:34.280 Like, Oh man, dude, that guy will jump out of any airplane all the time, goes on all the hunts,

00:35:40.800 does the thing. Or is it, man, he was so genuine and kind and nice and friendly. Or dude, have you seen

00:35:47.620 his car collection? It can be anything you want it to be. But at that point, that kind of sets that

00:35:52.600 direction. So you have a compass. You just kind of know where you want to be. Like we know Ryan was

00:35:58.040 in a different career, but he's still a similar man, like at his core, the values and the principles.

00:36:04.560 I think we all have that. But if you set that in your eulogy, I think that's really helpful to like

00:36:08.720 get you to figure out what you want to be and like how you want to work towards that. And that might help

00:36:13.440 set some of those milestones to work yourself towards kind of like we were talking about in

00:36:17.400 the retirement. That's 10 years. Okay. So what is that going to look like afterwards? And is it,

00:36:22.680 you know, I was super successful in business or was it, you know, great dad or both. Right. But

00:36:29.140 you can, you can do either one, but the eulogy really helps kind of lock in the end and you can

00:36:34.540 work your way backwards a little bit from that. But I agree with Ryan one step at a time and just

00:36:38.900 be focused on what you're doing and kind of enjoy the journey because you never know where it's going

00:36:42.760 to lead. Yeah. No, well said. Well said. Cool. All right. What's next? Next question is from

00:36:49.080 Nathan Struble. How do you build a better work ethic?

00:36:56.440 I, my knee jerk reaction is you just do it. You just make the decision that I'm going to work

00:37:00.840 harder. Right. Yeah. That, that, cause I mean, that really is a decision too, isn't it? I mean,

00:37:05.760 I woke up this morning at four 30 in the morning and I've been waking up early cause I'm trying to get

00:37:10.360 used to my schedule being back from South Africa last week. And so I woke up at four 30 this morning

00:37:15.800 and I laid there. I'm like, Oh, this bed's comfortable. I'm going to lay around. I'm going to sit

00:37:19.040 here and I'm going to sleep a little longer, which actually would have been justifiable.

00:37:22.940 I could wake up at five 30. That's still early by any objective standard. But instead I, I thought

00:37:29.440 to myself, no, you've been to the gym every day for the last six days. So you're going to make it

00:37:33.900 seven. And it was just a decision. You know, today as I'm getting through my work, there's little

00:37:41.280 opportunities to be distracted, whether it's social media or cleaning the house or any number of things

00:37:47.840 that I think are even maybe right. What we would call righteous or noble obstacles, meaning they

00:37:54.160 have to get done, but they're tricky enough that it actually keeps you from what you know, you should

00:37:58.140 be doing. And then you just have to make that decision. There is some tactical things that you

00:38:02.400 can do like, um, having a plan. You know, that's a huge benefit for me is I plan my day the night

00:38:09.420 before. And, and so I'm, I'm right. I've got my battle planner pulled up right here. I'm writing

00:38:15.040 what I need to get done tomorrow in this battle planner. Um, when I think about my workout,

00:38:19.980 I know exactly what my workout is for the morning. I saw my phone. I pull it up. I look at it.

00:38:25.220 I've got my water in the fridge. So it's cooling off. I've got all of my, you know, my shoes and

00:38:30.260 socks and gym clothes set right here up on the nightstand, ready to go. Like I'm planning everything

00:38:36.080 out to the nth degree the night before to create as, as little friction as possible for what would

00:38:44.840 inevitably come up the next day. So I'm thinking about and anticipating what the problem is and

00:38:50.880 what, what, what challenges and what hurdles, and then making sure everything is just completely

00:38:55.440 grease so that I can slide right into being as effective as possible based on my battle plan to

00:39:02.260 the previous question. So that's going to be really helpful. And then the other thing that I

00:39:06.200 would suggest on this is making sure that you're tying directly into why it's so important. And I

00:39:12.600 hate, I hate that of like, know your why it sounds so trite. It's a cliche and it is because it's true.

00:39:23.640 If you can really tap into your why and your why can't be, Oh, for my kids,

00:39:29.060 because that's not powerful enough. I'm not saying your kids aren't a powerful enough motivation.

00:39:36.040 I'm saying that terminology is not powerful enough, full enough.

00:39:41.400 Instead, it might be, I want to make sure that my daughter knows how a really good and strong man

00:39:48.700 shows up so that when she decides to get married, she'll have a great litmus test to measure her 0.98

00:39:54.400 selected partner against. See the difference? Same concept you're showing up because your kids

00:40:02.060 are important, but that one's so much more tangible. There's so much more of an emotional

00:40:07.080 connection to it. You know, if you're wondering about getting in shape, you might say, Oh, just so

00:40:14.020 I feel better. I don't think that's powerful enough. Of course you want to feel better. We all do. But what

00:40:18.740 do you mean exactly? Like how good would it look to, to, or feel to look in the mirror and, you know,

00:40:25.500 start to see some lines on your stomach instead of this big inflated, you know, bouncy ball around

00:40:30.240 your waistline? Or how would your wife view you if you had lost 30 or 40 or 50 pounds? Or what would

00:40:39.160 your intimacy look like if that were the case? Or how would other people treat you? How would you feel

00:40:45.440 about yourself? These are the things that we need to tap into the very emotionally charged, acute

00:40:52.460 thoughts that cause us to remember, Oh, you know what? Don't pour yourself that bowl of Cheez-Its that

00:41:00.060 you want to have, or don't go to McDonald's today. Instead have the leftover steak and broccoli from last

00:41:07.620 night. Cause that stuff's hard for some people. It isn't for me. It is. It's, it's hard to be

00:41:14.600 disciplined to do the things that we know we should be doing. So you have to have these really

00:41:18.780 strong emotional anchor points that secure you to good, wholesome decisions. And those are the

00:41:27.720 things that I think about. Not, I want to make more money. It's not about more money. It's what are you

00:41:34.660 going to do with the money? I want to tour the world. Okay. Well, why is that important? I want to be

00:41:38.660 exposed to different cultures. I want to have different experiences. I want to have new stimulus. I want

00:41:44.580 to see new things. I want to expand my horizons. And all of that is possible if I make more money

00:41:50.180 and I make more money if I do my work today. So that's what works for me.

00:41:57.360 Yeah. Something you mentioned there is also like the words you're telling yourself,

00:42:00.720 like internal self-talk is very powerful. I would say, Oh, better work ethic starts with that personal

00:42:07.000 identity, like who you identify as a man and how you're going to better the world because of it.

00:42:13.720 Like, what are you doing that really fires you up? Like we were talking about your vision of who

00:42:19.880 you want to be. You could even look at that 20 year vision that we were talking about in the last

00:42:23.400 question and use that as a directional compass and say like, I'm going to show up this way because

00:42:28.480 I'm the best dad. I'm going to create a really good environment for my family. All of that. That's

00:42:34.480 why I work hard is to be the good example. Right. But saying that you're a hard worker,

00:42:39.020 I, who is it? Uh, the rocks always like hardest worker in the room. And I was like, all right,

00:42:43.740 let's go. Let's prove it. Right. Like working hard is really powerful and it gets you to those

00:42:49.900 other, it unlocks a lot of those other things. It's the discipline equals freedom mindset that

00:42:55.240 allows you to go on those vacations or provide for your family, have a nice house, anything they

00:43:01.560 want or need. You're always there to provide for them. So that's what we talk about. The protecting,

00:43:06.040 providing and presiding is because you have a good solid work ethic. So I think if you change that

00:43:10.520 identity to say, I already have that wake up and be like, I'm a hard worker, let's get after it.

00:43:15.300 And then tie your, you know, your outcomes to the hard work that you're doing. I think that'll really

00:43:20.680 push you forward and want, make you want to get up in the morning. You're excited about it, right?

00:43:25.260 Yeah, no, well said. Uh, I had a good conversation at the podcast just released with a man by the name

00:43:30.760 of John Daly yesterday and he and his, uh, counterparts were responsible for creating

00:43:37.240 what we know as, uh, Marine Raiders now currently. And we talked a lot about this idea of identity,

00:43:45.640 but the other thing that he talked about was making sure you're surrounding yourself with

00:43:50.380 the right people. And what he noticed is that when people were going through the Marine, uh,

00:43:56.480 Raider selection process, 80% of those people are weeded out even before they get into the program.

00:44:02.320 And what he noticed is of the 20% that were remaining, uh, some of those would self-select

00:44:09.320 out because they were so used to being a big fish in a small pond. And now they're a medium size or

00:44:18.320 small fish in a big pond of hard chargers and high achievers. And it got me thinking that we need

00:44:26.340 to really be aware of who we're surrounding ourselves with because to who was it that asked

00:44:31.280 this Nathan to Nathan's point, if you're surrounded by a bunch of people who are undisciplined and lack

00:44:37.760 motivation, they're kind of lazy, then they're going to consciously and even subconsciously encourage

00:44:43.880 and foster your own laziness. But if you're spending time with me again, at the risk of sounding

00:44:51.200 arrogant, we're friends and we're talking and we're communicating, we're doing things together.

00:44:55.680 You're going to see things that I might not come out and say you're lazy. I might not say that,

00:45:00.640 but you're either going to do two, one of two things. You're going to start running harder to

00:45:04.440 catch up or you're going to weed yourself out because you feel inadequate. That's, that's one

00:45:09.780 of two things is going to happen. And you just have to make the decision that I'm going to stick

00:45:14.040 around. I'm going to learn from these people and I'm going to put myself in proximity to hard

00:45:17.260 charges and high achievers knowing and having faith that if I do, then they're going to hold me

00:45:22.640 accountable even subconsciously, even passively. Indirectly, they're going to help hold me

00:45:28.760 accountable to improving my performance on a daily basis. So look at your, uh, look at your

00:45:34.980 demographic of the people that you hang out with as well. Cause that might tell you a lot about who

00:45:38.920 you are and how you're showing up. That reminds me of the fitness challenge that you sent to the

00:45:45.740 iron council. Like, let's do this. Who's going to have the biggest body transformation by the end

00:45:50.420 of the year. Yeah. And a bunch of guys signed up for it. Right. There were a bunch that didn't,

00:45:55.060 and there were reasons or excuses because of it. But yeah, I mean, when you're around people like

00:46:00.540 that, that are always challenging you in a positive, like who's going to be mad that you're

00:46:03.820 like, Hey, I bet you can't run further than I can. Okay. We're both running together. Right.

00:46:09.220 Right. And then when you do run together, have you ever noticed when you do run with somebody else,

00:46:13.120 you constantly speed up. It's really hard to keep the same rhythm because you're just like

00:46:17.380 eyeballing the other person and you're going faster and faster and faster. Right. So I think

00:46:21.760 it's really powerful. Yeah. Cool. And you're going to lose the challenge by the way. So yeah,

00:46:27.220 we'll see to be determined. Are you in the challenge? Johnny Loretty, one of the battle team mentors in the

00:46:36.340 iron council. He says, when praying to God to guide you through a challenge and believe you receive a

00:46:41.620 response, how do you know it's really him? And how do you distinguish your gut from his words?

00:46:49.000 Well, I don't actually think that you need to distinguish your gut from God's influence.

00:46:54.120 That's one thing I would have you consider. You know, I know we don't talk a lot about in this

00:46:59.500 movement and I think just societally in general, some of these more difficult to quantify sensations

00:47:06.340 that we have, right? Everybody knows taste, touch, sound, feel, all these things. But there is divine

00:47:13.000 intervention in the form of your gut. You could call it instinct. You could call it your gut. You

00:47:19.320 could call it a feeling. You could call it your conscious. You could call it Jiminy Cricket for all

00:47:23.520 I care. But the reality is, is that God is influencing you. And I don't think you have to recognize it or feel

00:47:32.700 like, Oh, it's like, I don't know. I guess the point I'm making is God is never part of the clouds

00:47:38.460 for me and sent a, you know, a white dove and, and had the angels trumpet and, and tell me exactly

00:47:46.020 what I should be doing. He's never done that. I think that'd be nice if he did, but I don't think

00:47:52.560 that's going to happen. The way I think it happens is in a still small voice. And sometimes that's a

00:48:00.400 little prompt that you don't know. Like it's, you don't know it's God. It's just a feeling, right?

00:48:06.440 Like I've had feelings in certain situations. I remember one in particular, um, my ex-wife and I

00:48:12.600 at the time, we were looking for a new home and we were driving around the community and we found this

00:48:17.620 place and it looked like it was abandoned, but there was a real estate sign on it. And we drove up to,

00:48:26.680 to the, to the driveway, to the garage. And I called my real estate agent and he said, you know,

00:48:31.500 we're, I can't remember. I think he said, I'm not there right now. I can come out, you know,

00:48:35.680 in an hour, but the back door is open. He either told us to open or gave us the code. It was something

00:48:40.740 like that. And so her and I went around back and we opened the sliding door and we were wondering,

00:48:46.340 wandering around a little bit. And both of us looked at each other and we had this very clear,

00:48:51.960 very distinct feeling that we should not be in that house in that moment.

00:48:58.460 We didn't communicate it. We didn't ask each other about it. I said to her, I said, Hey,

00:49:03.600 you know what? Let's, I don't feel right. Like, I don't feel comfortable here. Let's, let's get going.

00:49:07.940 And she said, yeah, I actually feel the same. So we got in the truck and we left.

00:49:12.200 I don't, I don't know what would have ever come of that. I don't, I don't know if we were actually

00:49:16.740 in danger. But what I do know is that, uh, several weeks later we ended up not purchasing

00:49:22.880 that house, but several weeks later, what we did find out is that that house was notorious

00:49:27.460 for having squatters in the home that were doing drugs in that home because it was abandoned.

00:49:33.480 Now, maybe we were the only ones there. Maybe somebody was there. Maybe somebody was around

00:49:39.460 the door upstairs in the upstairs bedroom with a gun or a knife because they felt threatened.

00:49:44.660 I don't know. I'll never know. But what I do believe is that we were, that was some divine

00:49:51.000 intervention on behalf of God in, in our benefit. But again, it wasn't the trumpets. It was,

00:49:59.040 this doesn't feel right. But here's what I would say. The more that we listen to these promptings,

00:50:07.200 small, little, maybe even times insignificant or silly promptings. I've had promptings of like,

00:50:14.660 I'll be driving down the road and it'll say, don't like, don't, don't go down that road, do this,

00:50:20.760 or don't say yes to this thing, do that. And I don't even question it anymore. But what I do know

00:50:29.100 is the more that we listen to it and then we act on it, the more prevalent that righteous voice becomes

00:50:37.120 in our lives. It's, it's, it's like the saying, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. How many of

00:50:44.680 us do that? We have this beautiful gift of, of, of divine intervention and a pathway to his

00:50:51.240 righteousness. And we're like, no, no, that's dumb. That's stupid. That's silly. And we don't listen to

00:50:57.740 it. And then we wonder how come God doesn't speak to me. He does. You're just not listening.

00:51:05.260 So listen, act, and then it becomes stronger. But Johnny, I wish I could tell you, oh,

00:51:12.320 it's this three part formula. If you answer these three questions, yes, then you know,

00:51:16.460 it's from God. If you don't, then you know, it's yourself. I think, you know, pray about it

00:51:21.540 and act on things that you think are righteous. And I think it will be revealed to you.

00:51:29.200 Yeah, that's, that's good advice. It reminds me of the, the parable of the guy that's out. He's

00:51:35.780 kind of stranded out in the ocean and he's praying, he's praying like, save me, save me. And the guy

00:51:40.820 comes, this guy comes by in a rowboat and he's like, no, no, no. I'm praying for God to save me.

00:51:45.560 And he's like, okay, that's cool. And then somebody else comes by, you know, a little while later

00:51:49.320 in a speedboat. And it's like, Hey, I'm here to help. Like what's going on? He's like, no,

00:51:53.580 no, no. I'm praying for God to save me. And the guy ends up dying, goes to heaven. And God's like,

00:51:58.660 what are you doing, man? He's like, well, I've been praying and you didn't save me. He's like,

00:52:01.860 I sent all these people to save you. It might not look exactly like what you think it does,

00:52:07.480 but how often is it the harder option? Right? Like it was probably convenient to buy that house and be

00:52:13.320 like, yep, this is the one you're like, no, we're going to have to keep looking or, you know,

00:52:17.100 we're going to, you know, have to rent another couple of months and have double mortgages,

00:52:21.140 whatever that might be. It's usually the harder path too. And I think that sometimes gives us a

00:52:26.620 little hesitation. God wants what's good for you, I believe. But sometimes that comes at the,

00:52:33.460 you know, the harder path, right? Like working out that's harder, but it makes you better because

00:52:38.220 of it. Right? So I think just being open to that. And if you had to pick, pick the harder route.

00:52:44.280 So I think that's where he's probably could be guiding you at times.

00:52:48.740 And I, and I, I would take some faith in this too, is that as long as it's not

00:52:55.740 obviously stupid or unrighteous, detrimental, you can go ahead and make the decision because

00:53:03.700 even if it doesn't work out the way you hope it does, I believe he has a plan. And even if you

00:53:10.420 deviate from his plan, he can still use those experiences and your poor decisions

00:53:19.900 in the best interest and benefit of you and the people around you. So you can have some faith in

00:53:26.200 that too. As long as it's not obviously something you shouldn't be doing, some dumb decision or some

00:53:33.000 immoral thing, right? Then I think you're pretty safe. Yeah. Good stuff. Next question comes from

00:53:42.520 Brett McCulley. He says, we all feel like we're called to help somebody in need and find out that

00:53:48.260 many don't want that, don't want to be helped. What would be a good mental and emotional test to

00:53:54.380 decide when to be persistent when helping them or when to let it alone, when to leave them alone?

00:53:59.980 I think this is a very, very simple answer. It's difficult to do because you care about these

00:54:05.300 people. If you didn't care about them, you wouldn't even be asking the question. You'd be

00:54:08.500 indifferent to it. But the answer is very, very simple. And that is, are they implementing your

00:54:15.040 advice? That's it. You know, if somebody comes to me, for example, and they say, hey, Ryan, I want to

00:54:23.020 start a podcast. I want to have this thing be as successful as yours and bigger. And I want to do all

00:54:28.140 these things and you've done a lot of this. And I say, great, let's talk. And I give them four or

00:54:31.760 five or six or 10 ideas and they do none of them. And instead they're like, oh, that didn't work or I

00:54:39.540 didn't have the time or I didn't feel like I wanted to do that. Then that's a person that I can no longer

00:54:44.420 work to serve because they might be interested in my ideas, but they're not interested in applying

00:54:50.620 those ideas for their own benefit. And so I'm not going to waste my time in doing that.

00:54:57.120 Now, there are some decisions that you might make where it is not contingent upon their performance.

00:55:05.060 And then you just have to make that decision that you're going to do it regardless if they perform or

00:55:08.800 not. What might an example be of that? Charity. You donate to the food shelter. Okay. And let's say

00:55:19.460 you're at the food shelter and you've got a line of people coming through and you serve 200 people

00:55:23.660 that day. And out of the 200 people that came by, only five of them say, thank you.

00:55:29.200 Are you never going to do it again? No, because that's not why you were doing it. You were doing

00:55:33.920 it purely because it was a charitable thing to do or financial contributions. You know, you might

00:55:39.760 donate to an organization or a cause or a charity or even individual. And, you know, maybe they don't

00:55:46.520 make the best decisions. Are you never going to be charitable again? No, you're going to continue

00:55:50.220 to be charitable because it's the right thing to do. But in the context of what you're talking about,

00:55:55.640 if you have close family members or friends or acquaintances, the last thing you want to do is

00:56:01.400 be used by them. So if, if they come to you with ideas or thoughts, and by the way, I don't offer a

00:56:09.340 whole lot of unsolicited advice anymore to people because it's just nobody ever appreciated

00:56:14.260 unsolicited advice. But if they're coming to you and they're asking for advice and then you

00:56:19.060 share it with them, if they implement it, even to the nth degree, then I would say that's a person

00:56:23.800 worth continuing to invest in. But if they don't ever do anything with the information that you give

00:56:30.600 them, wish them luck, wish them the best, don't hold any ill will, like genuinely be supportive of

00:56:36.460 them and want the best for them. Just know it's not you that's meant to provide it.

00:56:39.980 Yeah. It reminds me of the lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink

00:56:47.480 mentality of like, you're, you're trying, right. And potentially you're just the first seed

00:56:53.280 in that idea. How many times have you ever had a good idea and you talk to your wife and you're

00:56:57.680 like, this is amazing. Potentially it's unsolicited advice, like Brian was saying,

00:57:01.840 but how many times has she come around and be like, I heard this thing. I, one of my friends said,

00:57:06.900 or I saw it on a podcast. It's what you were saying. And you're like, Oh, cool. Maybe it

00:57:11.400 just needed to hit a different way. So it might not be that what you're saying is wrong. It just

00:57:16.040 might not be that you're the right person to deliver that message to them. But hearing it

00:57:20.640 multiple times might've pushed them like in the right direction. So, you know, give it your best

00:57:26.280 effort, lead the horse to water and, you know, see if they're going to take action. Like Ryan said,

00:57:30.320 I think that's very positive. Well, and I also think leave the door open. Um, I had a guy on

00:57:34.880 Instagram messaged me the other day and he had said, Hey man, I'm really, I'm really sorry about,

00:57:39.000 um, the comments that I made on your post. And I was in a bad headspace and here's where I was at.

00:57:45.240 And I was holding onto some contention and animosity. Frankly, I don't remember what he had

00:57:49.700 said. I can let that stuff slide pretty well. So I don't really remember exactly what he was talking

00:57:54.240 about, but I'm not going to shun the guy. I'm not going to say, Oh, too late. Like, you know,

00:58:02.040 you were a jerk then or whatever. You said these things that offended me. And so you can never have

00:58:06.420 access to me again. No, you leave the door open so that when people are ready to step through to

00:58:12.600 your point, cause they might not be ready or they might not hear it the right way, or they might

00:58:16.560 have their own thing going on. And I've done that too, where let's say Dwayne, I was helping you with

00:58:20.920 some business stuff and I could see that you were never interested in taking action. I would tell you

00:58:25.660 respectfully, Hey Dwayne, you know, I've shared a lot of things with you over the past month and it seems

00:58:31.640 like you have an excuse for everything and you're not really willing to engage in this stuff. And I

00:58:36.060 don't know if you have your own personal issues going on or some mental blockages there. But at

00:58:41.260 this point, you know, I've got to bow out from this relationship because I have people who are really

00:58:46.140 interested in implementing the ideas that I have to share. And I want to make sure I give them as much

00:58:50.580 time and energy as I can. But I'll tell you what, if, and when you're ready to be more serious about

00:58:56.900 taking action on these things, will you please let me be the first person to know so I can continue

00:59:03.200 to pick up where we left off? I think that's a gracious way to do it. It lets, it has some

00:59:08.720 accountability in it. Like, Hey, I'm not doing this if there's no reciprocity, but also it's some grace

00:59:13.940 and some class in it that if you are really willing to take action, then I'm willing to help. And I think

00:59:18.940 that's a really, really powerful way to approach it.

00:59:20.980 Yeah. I think that's great. That'd be really helpful. I'm sure some people need to hear that

00:59:26.680 too. So many times people just like, can I get brushed off or kind of back off? And we're like,

00:59:31.920 Oh, where is this guy? It's hard to get ahold of, you know, but having that frank conversation with

00:59:36.640 them is very powerful. I think that's something that's missing a lot.

00:59:40.460 I was just going to say that it's missing from society because everybody's dancing on eggshells and

00:59:45.580 tiptoeing around and like, heaven forbid, somebody feels bad because I may have said something,

00:59:50.980 there's a way to say things of course, but I think we, as men can be more bold and assertive.

00:59:56.920 I did a podcast last week on, on the Friday field notes about the importance of being assertive.

01:00:01.380 We can do it tactfully. We can do it respectfully. We can do it with love and charity and, and,

01:00:06.440 and a heart of service, but also we can be bold and audacious and, and, and make those strong

01:00:13.560 claims and comments. I think it's crucial.

01:00:16.320 Yeah. And it respects your own, you know, sovereignty in a way that you're like, Hey, I'm

01:00:20.560 protecting my own time. Like I'm going to give, I'm going to give as much as I can, but if it's not,

01:00:25.020 you know, received, you're not going to take any action on it. Why would I continue to do the same

01:00:29.640 thing over and over?

01:00:31.100 Well, it's also respectful to the other person. That's the thing that people don't get,

01:00:34.720 you know? And this goes back to this, uh, Rachel, Rachel gun character I was telling you about with

01:00:39.000 the breakdancing. It's the, it's the American idol phenomenon. You know, you get this person up here

01:00:43.920 in a performance, they're horrible. And we all wonder why nobody ever told them they were horrible.

01:00:49.620 Right. Instead, everybody's like, you're great. You're wonderful. You're amazing. And then they

01:00:54.820 come onto the national stage and they embarrass themselves and everybody else. Okay. Wouldn't the

01:01:00.340 more compassionate thing be, Hey, you're not good at this. Like, I'm not saying you can't be,

01:01:10.340 but I'm saying that your level of performance isn't where it needs to be for you to perform at

01:01:15.100 this stage that you're attempting to stand on. So let's get you introduced to some coaches.

01:01:21.440 Let's, you know, work through some things, but I think the, the more appropriate thing to do,

01:01:27.040 and, and frankly, the more, more kind, compassionate thing to do is to be honest with people.

01:01:34.260 You know, I think about that in relationships too. Sometimes women and men both do this, but they'll,

01:01:39.220 they'll no longer be interested in a relationship, but they're so afraid of having it. And I've done this,

01:01:43.340 but they're so afraid of having a difficult conversation. They just ghost. And I've been

01:01:48.080 guilty of that, but I also know that the more, the more appropriate thing, although it brings up a

01:01:54.960 difficult conversation is to address it head on and actually tackle the issue. That's the, that's the

01:02:00.480 kinder thing to do. That's the more empathetic thing to do. Totally. I agree. Yeah. Well, Dwayne,

01:02:08.980 let's wrap this up, man. I know we've got a lot of other questions. We've been up for about an hour

01:02:12.680 now. So let's save those questions for next week, but let's wrap this one up for today.

01:02:17.760 Sounds good. Guys, if you're interested in joining the iron council, that's our exclusive

01:02:24.360 brotherhood. We're talking about this stuff, but on a much deeper level. And the beauty of what we do

01:02:28.680 in the iron council is it's not just theoretical, it's practical. So we take these concepts,

01:02:35.060 these abstract ideas and concepts and thoughts, and we codify them into systems and structures and

01:02:41.700 accountability so that we're not just dancing around all of these issues we know we should be

01:02:46.800 doing. Dwayne, I don't think there's anything that we shared today that isn't new or that is new. I

01:02:52.440 should say for other people, it's just, but we want to make sure we give you the system, the process

01:02:59.080 for actually implementing this stuff in your life. And that's what you can find as a benefit of the

01:03:03.900 iron council. So go to order man.com slash iron council. Um, outside of that, connect with me

01:03:08.960 on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, X, whatever, wherever you're doing the, uh, social media thing.

01:03:14.380 And we'll keep the conversations going. Dwayne, I'm sure we'll have you back very soon. Kip's going

01:03:17.940 to be back next week as am I. Uh, so we're going to boot you, but, uh, I promise you, you're going

01:03:23.120 to get it. You're going to get an invite back. Oh, good. Thanks, man. Thank you. I appreciate you.

01:03:28.720 Glad to know you. And thanks for your service inside the iron council. You're doing great work for the

01:03:32.240 men there too. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:03:44.480 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:03:49.120 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - August 21, 2024

Ask, Act, Achieve ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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