Order of Man - December 19, 2025


Audit Your Life ｜ Cut the Crap ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

18 minutes

Words per Minute

175.78671

Word Count

3,266

Sentence Count

259

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode, I talk about how to audit your life to give yourself an accurate accounting of what you did in 2019, what you accomplished in 2018, and why it did or did not work. I also talk about why it's important to have a clear vision for what you want to achieve in 2020 and what you need to do to achieve it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I want you, and I'm going to do this as well, is to set one non-negotiable standard.
00:00:04.220 Just one.
00:00:05.020 Because it's not about fixing everything today.
00:00:06.740 If you do that, you're going to get burned up, and you're going to get burned out,
00:00:09.980 and you're going to get frustrated.
00:00:11.480 And it's such a shock to the system that it's not sustainable.
00:00:14.120 Pick one area, one standard, one line in the sand that you will no longer cross,
00:00:19.640 that enforce it daily.
00:00:21.160 Not when you feel motivated to do it, not when it's convenient to do,
00:00:25.260 because discipline doesn't wait for your permission.
00:00:30.920 As you know, you do not need more information in your life.
00:00:35.480 You probably need fewer lies.
00:00:38.960 And that's the reality, is most of what we hear is maybe not an outright lie,
00:00:45.460 but certainly plenty of mistruths and misunderstandings.
00:00:52.400 And the biggest one that I see men often embrace in their lives is,
00:00:57.680 I'm doing fine.
00:00:58.860 I'm good.
00:00:59.600 I'm fine.
00:01:00.560 Life is good.
00:01:01.560 I'm doing great.
00:01:02.540 This is something that we often say.
00:01:04.220 It's kind of like when you walk into a retail store,
00:01:06.200 and the person at the retail store says,
00:01:09.440 hey, can I help you?
00:01:10.040 And you say, oh, no, I'm just looking.
00:01:11.560 That's our default answer.
00:01:13.280 When, in reality, when you go into the retail store,
00:01:15.440 you're looking probably because you're a man for something specific.
00:01:18.060 And when a friend asks you how you're doing and you just say, I'm fine.
00:01:21.720 Things are good.
00:01:22.980 You're probably not fine.
00:01:24.420 Some things are going great and some things probably aren't.
00:01:27.480 Because fine, or I'm just looking, is how men drift.
00:01:32.020 It's how your standards erode and evaporate.
00:01:36.280 It's how you wake up 10 years from now wondering what in the world happened to your life.
00:01:44.400 How did you get here?
00:01:45.600 And I've been there.
00:01:46.300 And I've been in situations, especially when I was in the throes of my alcohol abuse,
00:01:51.320 where I didn't think it was bad until things started to collapse around me.
00:01:55.860 And I remember the first AA meeting I ever went to.
00:01:59.200 And my question was, how in the hell did I get myself in this position?
00:02:03.980 So today, we need to cut out all the crap, cut out all the noise, cut out all the nonsense.
00:02:09.700 And we need to audit our lives.
00:02:11.820 We need to give an accurate representation of what we did in 2025,
00:02:15.340 what we did not do, what we wanted to accomplish, and why it did or did not work.
00:02:21.140 And it's not about how you feel.
00:02:23.520 You know, often when I talk about this, guys might get frustrated about their underperformance.
00:02:29.440 Maybe they don't offer themselves any grace.
00:02:31.300 But this isn't an emotional process.
00:02:33.960 It's a very logical, factual one.
00:02:36.320 There's no stories.
00:02:37.560 There's no justification.
00:02:39.060 There's no explanations.
00:02:41.080 There's no rationalizations about why you performed or why you didn't.
00:02:45.340 There's none of this.
00:02:47.240 Another lie is once things slow down or once things change or once I have money or in 2026,
00:02:54.400 it's just the numbers.
00:02:57.560 It's raw data.
00:02:58.680 And once you go through the audit and you inventory your life and you give yourself an accurate accounting,
00:03:06.140 then you can begin to do something different about it.
00:03:10.800 And you can start thinking more about what you want, the vision, the feels, the et cetera.
00:03:16.160 So here we go.
00:03:17.340 Let's talk about your body first.
00:03:18.920 Ask yourself a couple of very simple questions and write these down if you have to.
00:03:23.340 And I have a journal right here and I write in this thing often.
00:03:28.420 But ask yourself this.
00:03:29.820 Are you stronger?
00:03:32.140 Are you leaner?
00:03:33.180 Are you even more capable than you were last year?
00:03:39.840 And why or why not?
00:03:42.420 I can say as I do my audit, I'm definitely leaner.
00:03:45.680 I've definitely been eating better.
00:03:47.760 I could definitely work on my strength and develop more strength.
00:03:52.100 And so that's an area of improvement in 2026.
00:03:56.000 Look at your marriage and your relationships.
00:03:58.900 Are you leading in your relationships or are you avoiding hard conversations?
00:04:04.040 Are you stepping up to the plate and being engaged with your wife and your family?
00:04:07.960 Or are you shirking responsibility?
00:04:11.620 When it comes to your finances, do you know your numbers?
00:04:15.720 Or are you just guessing and hoping?
00:04:17.340 Yeah, I think I'm doing pretty good.
00:04:18.620 And then you pull up your bank account statement or you get a notification via email that says
00:04:22.280 you're overdrafted.
00:04:24.560 Or do you know exactly what your numbers are?
00:04:26.540 Hey, I have this much money in my bank account.
00:04:28.260 I have this much money in savings.
00:04:29.560 I have this much debt.
00:04:30.700 I'm applying this much towards savings.
00:04:32.560 I'm not spending money on this or that because we're saving for something specific.
00:04:36.840 What are your numbers?
00:04:38.340 If you don't know what they are, then there's no hope of creating a good future for yourself.
00:04:43.620 Ask about your mission.
00:04:45.700 Do you have clear direction?
00:04:47.060 Do you have clear aim?
00:04:49.620 Or are you just reacting and responding to whatever's in front of you any given week?
00:04:56.600 If this person's upset, you start dealing with that.
00:04:59.140 If that person needs something of you, you start dealing with this.
00:05:01.640 If that person or this thing or that situation happens, then you address that.
00:05:05.280 Or are you centered?
00:05:07.300 Are you grounded?
00:05:07.940 Are you oriented towards an outcome and objective?
00:05:14.140 Ask about your integrity.
00:05:17.220 Do the actions that you put forth every single day match what you claim?
00:05:22.980 And I say claim to value because I have a lot of people, for example, since we were talking
00:05:27.440 about finances, a lot of men who will say, well, I really care about my finances.
00:05:30.700 Great.
00:05:31.040 Let's pull up your bank account.
00:05:32.120 Let's take a look.
00:05:34.080 Let's pull up your debt.
00:05:34.940 Let's have a look.
00:05:37.320 And they don't want to.
00:05:38.600 Okay.
00:05:39.060 Well, you claim to think that that is important.
00:05:44.160 You claim that's a priority, but your actions are not aligned with that.
00:05:47.700 Or I love my family.
00:05:48.720 Great.
00:05:48.960 Let's take a look at your calendar.
00:05:49.900 Oh, you worked till 8 PM every single night and you missed little Susie's dance recital
00:05:56.460 and little Timmy's basketball game.
00:06:00.780 Okay.
00:06:01.240 You say you claim to care about your family, but your actions don't align with the words.
00:06:07.620 Again, this is not to beat you up.
00:06:09.100 It's not to get emotional about it.
00:06:10.300 It's just to say, Hey, I can do better here.
00:06:13.660 So ask yourself another question.
00:06:15.500 Where am I cutting corners?
00:06:16.940 Where am I taking the easy path?
00:06:21.360 Where am I trying to get by with just coasting or taking the, the, the, the path of least
00:06:28.520 resistance.
00:06:30.480 And, and I think that every single man knows where he's lying to himself and I can't tell
00:06:34.960 you what it is for you, but I think if you're honest and you get out your journal and you
00:06:38.620 start answering these questions, you can tell yourself pretty quickly where you're lying.
00:06:43.940 And the best indicator of that is anytime you start to justify or rationalize, well, my
00:06:49.860 relationship is not that great right now because dot, dot, dot, and it might be something
00:06:53.920 like, uh, my wife has been distant or it might be something like, uh, my finances are in shambles.
00:07:02.780 It's because of the economy or I'm not in as in shape as I could be, but it's because I'm
00:07:10.100 doing other things.
00:07:10.820 And so I haven't had time to do that now.
00:07:13.060 There might be some reasons that we can look into, but most of the time when you start
00:07:16.360 to justify piss poor performance, it's because you're cutting corners and you're lying to
00:07:23.080 yourself.
00:07:25.860 It might even be in the habits that you say, oh, that's not that bad.
00:07:30.480 You know, one thing I often see is guys will talk about pornography and they're like, oh,
00:07:33.660 well, it helps.
00:07:34.520 And it helps in my bedroom.
00:07:36.180 It helps us be, you know, more adventurous.
00:07:39.220 It brings us closer together when that's not true.
00:07:42.540 It doesn't.
00:07:43.360 You say it does, but it doesn't.
00:07:45.020 And we know it doesn't.
00:07:47.020 That's the statistics and the results say that it doesn't.
00:07:52.240 It's hidden in the standards that you used to have.
00:07:54.700 Maybe you used to go to the gym every day.
00:07:57.040 Maybe you used to train jujitsu every day.
00:07:59.040 Maybe you used to do a budgeting session every week.
00:08:03.880 Maybe you used to do a date night with your wife.
00:08:06.600 Maybe you used to have deep and meaningful conversations with your kids at the dinner
00:08:09.880 table, but quietly and slowly over 2025, as you got busy, as you got distracted, you
00:08:15.940 lowered those standards.
00:08:18.120 It's in the discomfort even that you keep postponing.
00:08:21.720 Man, I really need to talk with my wife about how our relationship is going.
00:08:24.980 I really want to talk with my boss about my performance in a promotion.
00:08:29.160 I really want to start that business.
00:08:31.120 I really need to address this with my kids.
00:08:33.060 One of my friends needs help, and I really need to help.
00:08:35.480 Or I need help from him, but I don't want to have that conversation and put myself out
00:08:40.580 there in a way that creates unnecessary vulnerability.
00:08:45.820 That's discomfort.
00:08:46.800 Or, you know, I was going to sign up and do that event, but I'm not going to do it because.
00:08:50.820 Or I was going to go on that vacation, but I can't because.
00:08:53.040 That's all discomfort that you postpone, that you just kick down the road.
00:08:58.760 And guys, I've said this before, and there's a quote, you don't rise to the level of your
00:09:02.020 potential.
00:09:02.760 You fall to what you tolerate.
00:09:05.260 And there's a lot of variations of that.
00:09:06.760 You don't rise to the level of your training.
00:09:08.380 You fall to the level of your experience, but you don't rise to your potential.
00:09:12.460 And we all have this incredible amount of human potential in our lives, but you're going
00:09:17.420 to fall to what you tolerate of yourself.
00:09:23.080 Are you okay with not getting up when the alarm goes off?
00:09:27.340 Are you okay with kicking the can down the road on deep, meaningful, and significant conversations?
00:09:33.360 Are you okay with just scraping by and living paycheck to paycheck?
00:09:37.020 I don't think you are, but we'll see based on your actions and based on what you'll tolerate.
00:09:42.720 So guys, you have to stop.
00:09:44.460 And myself included, we have to stop protecting our weak spots because most of us defend the
00:09:52.940 things that are holding us back.
00:09:54.200 And one of the quotes that I heard a long time ago is you get to keep what you fight for.
00:10:04.460 So if you fight for poor behavior, you get to keep the poor behavior.
00:10:09.440 If you fight for a distant, unconnected relationship, you get to keep a distant, unconnected relationship.
00:10:16.340 If you fight for eating junk food because it tastes good and it's convenient, then you get
00:10:21.440 to keep the belly fat that you're carrying around.
00:10:24.200 You get to keep what you fight for.
00:10:29.720 Most men, they protect staying up late, binge watching Netflix, all of your excuses, all
00:10:38.100 of your distractions, doom scrolling on social media, numbing yourself, sedating yourself with
00:10:43.800 pornography or substance abuse or social media and technology or video games.
00:10:51.600 If it weakens your body or it fractures your family or it clouds your thinking and your judgment
00:11:00.500 or it steals your edge, even takes that edge, that competitive drive, then it's a liability.
00:11:06.980 And that's the crap that you need to cut.
00:11:08.760 And in order to do this, you can't change everything all at once.
00:11:16.140 I wish you could.
00:11:17.040 I wish I could take all of my pitfalls and all of my shortcomings and all of my weaknesses
00:11:20.480 and say, you know, here's the 200 things that I need to change.
00:11:24.180 And there's probably more, but that's not how it works.
00:11:27.180 I want you, and I'm going to do this as well, is to set one non-negotiable standard.
00:11:31.800 Just one.
00:11:33.140 Because it's not about fixing everything today.
00:11:34.980 If you do that, you're going to get burned up and you're going to get burned out and you're
00:11:39.440 going to get frustrated.
00:11:40.680 And it's such a shock to the system that it's not sustainable.
00:11:43.280 But pick one area, one standard, one line in the sand that you will no longer cross,
00:11:49.900 that enforce it daily.
00:11:50.960 Not when you feel motivated to do it, not when you feel excited or compelled or compassionate
00:11:57.400 or excited about it.
00:12:01.760 Not when it's convenient to do.
00:12:05.840 Because discipline doesn't wait for your permission.
00:12:12.480 It doesn't wait for everything to be just perfect, for everything to be just right, for everything
00:12:17.480 to be easy, for everything to be comfortable, for everything to be convenient.
00:12:20.960 So that might be that I'm going to wake up every day when my alarm goes off, line in
00:12:27.780 the sand.
00:12:29.900 I'm going to go to the gym 45 minutes every single day, line in the sand.
00:12:34.580 I'm going to have that difficult conversation when I feel like having it with my wife or my
00:12:38.040 kids or my colleagues or my coworkers or my clients or my boss, when I feel like I need
00:12:42.820 to have that difficult conversation.
00:12:44.960 Now we can be prudent about some of those things and we can take into consideration the feelings
00:12:49.980 of the people who will be impacted by the decisions that we're making, because I'm not talking
00:12:54.040 about being an a-hole.
00:12:55.300 You have to include other people in this process, but you need to put your foot down.
00:13:02.760 Is it fitness?
00:13:04.300 Is it relationships?
00:13:06.180 Is it date night?
00:13:08.560 Is it putting away the pornography?
00:13:09.960 Is it putting away the junk food?
00:13:13.200 Is it reading scripture every day or praying every day?
00:13:16.580 Is it building your business?
00:13:18.980 What exactly is it?
00:13:20.200 Just pick one thing and start today.
00:13:22.840 The release of this podcast is December 19th.
00:13:25.420 Just start today.
00:13:27.180 You don't need to wait till January 1st because that's a justification.
00:13:30.120 We already talked about that.
00:13:31.760 Start today.
00:13:32.500 And let me leave you this final thought because what I found in my own life and what I've seen
00:13:39.580 after working with thousands and thousands of men is most men will wait until there's catastrophe
00:13:50.560 or extreme suffering to force themselves into an audit, to force themselves to look themselves
00:13:59.000 in the mirror.
00:13:59.420 You have a health scare or medical diagnosis.
00:14:03.020 Your wife says she wants to separate or divorce.
00:14:05.600 Your kids become estranged.
00:14:08.160 You get a creditor who's knocking on your door.
00:14:10.800 Potential bankruptcy, maybe loss of a job.
00:14:12.940 That's what most men do.
00:14:14.060 They wait for that to happen and they wait for an audit to be forced upon them.
00:14:18.540 But you are not going to do that.
00:14:20.600 You're going to be strong.
00:14:21.700 You're going to do it before that damage is done because I've done this both ways.
00:14:25.420 The correct way and the incorrect way where I've waited for my ex-wife to tell me she wants
00:14:30.560 a divorce or I've waited for that creditor to come knocking on my door and I don't have
00:14:35.180 any money in the bank account or my boss to tell me, hey, you're underperforming.
00:14:38.840 You better shape up or you're out of a job.
00:14:40.460 No, we're going to do that now.
00:14:41.880 Even if you feel like you're firing on all cylinders, you better do an audit.
00:14:47.200 If my truck is running well and it's time to get an oil change or rotate the tires or do a tune
00:14:54.360 up on the vehicle, I do it.
00:14:57.920 Even if everything is running well, especially if things are running well, because I want it to
00:15:02.880 keep running well and I want to see what else I can get out of the performance of my vehicle.
00:15:08.200 Your life is no different.
00:15:09.340 Audit your life, guys.
00:15:13.560 Be honest.
00:15:14.380 Be genuine.
00:15:14.940 Be sincere.
00:15:15.600 Nobody has to see.
00:15:17.180 Again, I'm holding up this journal.
00:15:18.400 Nobody has to see this journal.
00:15:19.820 Nobody's ever looked at this.
00:15:20.960 My kids maybe take a peek every once in a while, but nobody looks at this.
00:15:24.840 This is mine.
00:15:26.740 I'm not going to look at your life.
00:15:28.040 I'm not going to ask you like a fifth grader to turn in your homework.
00:15:32.160 I have no vested interest in you improving your life.
00:15:35.300 Now, I want you to.
00:15:36.400 It's my mission.
00:15:37.300 It's my purpose.
00:15:37.960 It's my calling.
00:15:39.140 But it's your life.
00:15:41.300 So audit it.
00:15:42.800 Cut out that nonsense.
00:15:43.780 Cut out the noise.
00:15:44.460 Cut out the garbage.
00:15:45.120 Cut out the crap.
00:15:46.220 And start living like the man that you say you want to be.
00:15:50.220 I've never met a man who didn't have a vision for the future.
00:15:54.560 Guys, you need to hold the line.
00:15:57.100 And I'm not going to say it counts more when you do things that you don't want to do.
00:16:03.220 But I am going to say that's where your mettle is tested.
00:16:06.400 That's where your convictions are pushed on.
00:16:15.900 That's where we really find out who we are.
00:16:18.340 If I want to do my fitness routine every single day, but it crumbles when I go on vacation, wasn't really a standard.
00:16:27.500 Now, there might be a reason to do it.
00:16:28.800 Maybe you're just taking a day off.
00:16:30.240 But you know the real answer, which is that it's not convenient.
00:16:34.960 Men, hold the line.
00:16:36.520 It's Friday, December 19th.
00:16:37.820 Finish the week out strong.
00:16:39.320 Take the weekend and do the audit.
00:16:40.740 And if you want some additional help, the Iron Council is officially open.
00:16:44.760 And I just put together an end-of-year audit for our Iron Council members.
00:16:51.600 And it's got 40, 50 different prompts, questions to be asking yourself in different domains of your life to see if you're really performing to the level that you believe yourself to be performing.
00:17:04.200 And if you're not, it's going to expose those weaknesses, highlight and accentuate what those weaknesses are.
00:17:09.360 And then we start moving into how do we shore that up?
00:17:12.040 What do we do differently?
00:17:13.360 What are the systems?
00:17:14.380 What accountability?
00:17:15.520 Who do you need to talk with?
00:17:16.660 What questions do you need answered?
00:17:18.180 And all of that can be found in the Iron Council.
00:17:19.920 And I would encourage you to join us at orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
00:17:24.740 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
00:17:27.240 We're doing the audit.
00:17:28.320 We're doing the vision.
00:17:29.340 We're doing the battle plan.
00:17:30.300 We're doing the accountability.
00:17:31.280 We're doing the brotherhood.
00:17:32.560 Pretty incredible when you tap in and pour fully into that.
00:17:36.020 So we're open through the end of the year.
00:17:37.460 Check it out.
00:17:38.220 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
00:17:39.360 Iron Council.
00:17:40.160 Either way, get yourself a plain notebook like this.
00:17:43.720 I think I bought this at a local grocery store for, I don't know, $4.79 or whatever
00:17:49.060 it was.
00:17:49.800 And it's literally invaluable with the wisdom and the insight and the questions and the
00:17:56.320 revelations that are in that notepad are invaluable.
00:18:00.600 That's what it takes to audit your life.
00:18:02.420 That's what your life demands.
00:18:03.860 That's what you demand if you're serious about your life.
00:18:06.240 And that's what the people in your life should expect and demand of you.
00:18:10.220 All right, guys.
00:18:10.940 Again, check out the Iron Council.
00:18:12.780 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
00:18:14.880 And we'll see you there.
00:18:17.320 Until next week for our interview with the one and only Wim Hof.
00:18:20.660 Go out there, take action.
00:18:22.340 Become a man.
00:18:22.980 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:18:27.520 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:18:31.280 We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.