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Order of Man
- February 26, 2021
Avoid Burnout in Your Business and Relationships | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
Episode Stats
Length
28 minutes
Words per Minute
189.33087
Word Count
5,345
Sentence Count
347
Misogynist Sentences
4
Hate Speech Sentences
4
Summary
Summaries are generated with
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.
Transcript
Transcript is generated with
Whisper
(
turbo
).
Misogyny classification is done with
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.
Hate speech classification is done with
facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target
.
00:00:00.000
You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
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and I am the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here. Welcome
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back. It's been a good ride. We've been in this thing for six years now, and the amount of traction
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that we've been able to make in that period of time is absolutely phenomenal, which I like to
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claim some credit for it, but let's be honest, it's you. It's you as men listening, tuning in,
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banding with us, becoming the type of men we've been talking about for the past six years now,
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sharing the message, and just stepping up the way that you need to. First and foremost,
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I want to say thank you. If you are new to the podcast, this is your Friday Field Notes. You get
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to hear from me for the next 20, 25 minutes or so on some topics that I've been thinking about from
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throughout the week, but of course, we've got our interview show as well, where we interview guys
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like Steve Rinella, Jocko Willing, David Goggins, Andy Priscilla. The men that come on are absolutely
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phenomenal, and it's my job to secure these guests for you and then take their education experience
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information, distill it down into a practical conversation that you can apply to your life.
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So that's what this one's going to be. We're going to be talking about avoiding burnout because this is
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something that all men deal with. It's something that I've certainly dealt with, not only here with
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Order of Man, but other facets of my life. So we're going to get into that in a minute because I have
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five tips that you can use in your life to avoid burnout yourself. But before I do, I want to make
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one other announcement. A lot of you guys know at this point that we just came out with Origin Beard
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you got to have Origin Beard Oil. I was looking through the hot new releases for beard products on all of
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is the number one hot new beard oil release in all of Amazon. So if you've purchased any beard oil,
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if you've left a verified review, you've tried it out, you get value from it. I just want to tell you,
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I appreciate you. This is a project that I work closely with Origin on. They've done a wonderful,
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wonderful job putting together something that is 100% made and sourced in America. In fact,
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it's the people here in Maine, my neighbors right down the road that are shipping this stuff out.
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And we have factories here in the US and it's pretty incredible what we've been able to do here
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with this beard product. So again, if you're interested in supporting a 100% made and sourced
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in America company and a manufacturing company, then make sure to check out Origin Beard Oil on Amazon.
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And if you pick up a bottle and leave a review, a verified review, and then email a screenshot of
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that review to promotions at origin MFG, promotions at origin MFG.com. They'll go ahead and send you a
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free bottle. So there you go. That's my announcement. All right, guys, let's talk about avoiding burnout.
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This is something all men deal with. Things don't always go according to plan. Results take longer
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than you think they will. You get tired, you get run down, you get beat up. This is part of life.
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And I don't want you to be burned out on any facet of your life, whether it's your fitness journey,
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the relationship that you have with your wife or anybody else for that matter,
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a business that you might be engaged in, a career endeavor or pursuit, a hobby, whatever.
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I don't want you to be burned out. And I don't want you to be burned out because often the results
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come after most, the average person, the majority of people probably do burnout. And then we wonder
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why we're not experiencing the results. Is it because possibly we have burnt out before we yield
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the benefit, the blessing, the outcome of our work up to that point? So we're going to break this down.
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We're going to talk about why you should avoid burning out and more importantly, how to avoid
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burning out. So let's just jump right into it. Again, five points for this. Number one, the first
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point is don't burn all of your fuel at once, right? A lot of you guys are coming out of the gates on
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fire screaming. You're so excited about the new program, the new diet, the new relationship,
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the new business venture, the new project, whatever it is you're doing. And you burn all of your fuel at
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once. And when all of that fuel is burned up, you have absolutely nothing left in the tank. And so you
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quit, you throw in the towel, you realize that you don't have the same level of interest or that it has
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become difficult or demanding, or it isn't what you expected. And so you don't have any more fuel left
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to drive on with what it is that you want to drive on with. I get it. I understand being excited. I
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understand being hopped up, but understand that the results that you desire are going to take
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a long time and it's going to take a lot of effort. And you need to know that if you burn it all up,
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right at, right at front. And I know a lot of guys like this, I don't happen to be one of these guys.
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But these tend to be more of your emotionally charged people, right? They're so motivated.
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They're so excited. They're so inspired at this moment in time that they burn up everything because
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they can't think about what's going to happen in a week or a month or six years. Like we've been
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going here with order of man. They think about what's happening right now. And that's an emotionally
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charged response. And by the way, I don't say that, that, that as a negative, that I, the concept that
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we use our emotions. I know a lot of people do. And a lot of people interpret what isn't meant to be
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interpreted as, as something negative, but they interpret it negatively. I'm not suggesting you don't
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be emotional. I think you should use emotions as a metric, not the only metric, but a metric for the
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direction in your life. But if you're, if your fuel is emotionally charged, that burns hot and it
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burns quickly. And then when all of that is gone, there's nothing left. There's no logic. There's
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no reasoning. There's no grit, no determination behind that. You got to have some other, if we're
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using the analogy of fuel, some other denser, longer lasting, longer burning fuel than the emotion
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of being excited. So you can be excited, but don't come out of the gate swinging, figure out, okay,
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I'm in this thing for the long haul. I got to keep myself in this thing and figure out how to do that.
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Number two, mix things up. All right. Some of us get so monotonous, so mundane. You know, we wake up
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at the same time every day. We do the same exercises. We go through the same routines. We attempt to
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solve the same problems. We send out the same emails and everything is always the same. This is
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actually what gets me out of all the points that I'm sharing with you today. Number one, again, was
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don't burn all your fuel at once. That's not something I struggle with. Number two is I just get
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bored. I get bored if everything is always the same. So how do you avoid boredom is you mix it up,
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take a new route to work, do a new workout routine, practice a different martial art,
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have a different kind of conversation with your wife, take your family on a vacation or to a place
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that you've never gone before, solve a different problem at work. Now, one thing I will say is that
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you can mix things up too much and you can start deviating from your path. So for example, if
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you're trying to start a new business and you're trying to solve problems for men, like we are here
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with Order of Man, and all of a sudden you start solving problems for women, okay, well, then that
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actually doesn't fit within your objective and you're detracting from what you could be doing. Yes,
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it will be more interesting, but it's not going to move the needle. So instead of changing your
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demographic or changing what it is you're trying to do, you change the way that you approach it. So you're
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still trying to solve the same problems that is in this case, helping men, equipping them,
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empowering them with what they need to thrive, but we do it in a different way. So one of the ways
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that we've done it here is initially we did the interview podcast that comes out each and every
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Tuesday. And because I get a little bit bored with the same thing over and over again, we came out with
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a second show and then a third show. And now we have the ask me anything. We have this, your Friday
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field notes. This is part of the way that I've avoided being burned out because we're still
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solving the same problems, but we're going about it in a different way. Another way that we've done
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that is we brought merchandise in. That isn't something we always did, but it solves a problem
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that helps funding with the movement. It gives guys great looking gear that they're going to use
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and wear and be proud to wear because it has a meaning and purpose behind it. And it's fun. I enjoy
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the design element. I enjoy growing the store. We've also done this with live events. It wasn't
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enough for me to have the digital conversations that we've been having specifically in our exclusive
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Brotherhood, the Iron Council. I wanted to do events live. So we did a men's event with 20 guys. And then
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we did a father-son event because I wanted to mix it up. And we did that with 40. Was it 40? Yes. 40,
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well, it's 20 fathers and 20 boys. So 40 total attendees. And then we did the main event,
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which we had 70-ish people there. And the next one, we'll have a hundred people there,
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but we're continually mixing things up because I don't want to get bored and I don't want to burn
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out. And I don't want things to be so monotonous and the same every day because that would just drive
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me nuts. And this is most people, they chase what's exciting. So they'll bounce from place to
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place from work to work, relationship to relationship, exercise to exercise when we
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know it's been proven that the results come through sustained effort. So continue to solve
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the same problems, but the way that we solve those problems is going to be different. And that's,
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what's going to help you avoid the burnout that maybe you would if you were doing the same things
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over and over again, every single day. All right. Number three, you got to set up your realistic
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expectations. Okay. You have to set up realistic expectations for you, for other people, for the
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scenario that might be playing out. Because again, most people think that the results are going to
00:11:02.200
come quicker than they actually will. And in my experience, the results that I'm after tend to take
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longer. I'm not as effective as I could or should or would like to be. And so I have to set realistic
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expectations that this is not always going to be an exciting ride. That it's not always going to
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happen overnight. That I'm going to have to be in this game for years and years and years in order
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to produce the results that I'm after. When I started this podcast, I deliberately and intentionally,
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and I can remember vividly telling myself that I will not make a decision as to whether or not to
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throw in the towel or keep going with order of man in the podcast for at least two years.
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That meant I would get over a hundred episodes in the bank published, released before I even
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contemplated, even considered not doing it. And we know that I was way more excited well ahead of
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a hundred episodes into the first five or six or maybe 10 tops episodes. I knew we were onto something
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big here. So it didn't take that timeframe, but look, if you're expecting the results,
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if you're expecting to have the six pack abs in the next week, but you spent the last decade on the
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couch, you're going to fail. You are, you're going to quit because you don't have or won't meet your
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expectation. If you think that after two decades of not leading your wife and your family and your
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children well, that all of a sudden, if you tell them, well, I'm listening to this podcast and
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I'm waking up early. So what's your problem? If you think that's going to, that's actually what's
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going to move the needle in your relationship. That's the expectation you have when it doesn't
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happen by your standard, by your clock, you're going to quit and you're going to revert back to
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your old ways, which we know we're not producing the results that you want. So let's lower the
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expectations for others, mostly and the scenario, not for yourself, hold yourself to a high standard,
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but I don't think we need to place unrealistic expectations on circumstances and we certainly
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shouldn't be placing them on others. So lower the bar for those individuals and those scenarios
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and what it will take, increase the standard for yourself by doing some of these other things like
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mixing it up, not burning all your fuel at once, that sort of thing. But this is very important that
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we make sure we have the realistic expectations in place, which by the way, actually marries nicely with
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point number one, where I said, don't burn all out at once. Again, the guys who are emotionally
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charged, who are really hopped up and motivated right now are burning that high octane fuel that
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just doesn't last. Those people usually don't have realistic expectations. Imagine this. Here's a great
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way to look at it. Imagine I came to you and I said, hey, you know, I want to, let's play football.
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You're going to get your, your best guys together. I'm going to get my best guys together and we're
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going to play a game, but here's the deal. I'm not going to tell you how long the game's going to
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last. So now you're left with trying to decide, do I put all my best players in? Do we go a thousand
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miles an hour, hoping that the game doesn't last very long? Do we underplay for the first little
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while thinking that maybe the game is going to last a long time? The thing is we don't know,
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right? You don't know what's going to happen in your relationship. You don't know what's going
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to happen in your business. These things are largely the result beyond your control because
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there's a lot of things that move and there's a lot of scenarios and things that are, that are
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outside of our control. You don't know that. And so you're basically playing a game that you're not
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really aware of how long it will last. So how do you strategize? How do you plan for? Well, if it were
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me, I would plan on being in the thing forever. How can I sustain myself and my results and my
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effort, more importantly, forever until I die? And that's actually how I look at it with this podcast.
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You know, I don't, I don't have to think that I need all the results immediately. I actually know
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with every fiber of my being that we will ultimately achieve the success that we're after.
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I know that it's already, it's, it's already a reality. It's not a reality. It's already potential.
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It just is what it is. And all I have to do is just keep myself in the game long enough for that
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to happen. And that doesn't mean I'm just kind of going through the motions. No, I told you earlier,
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I mix things up. I change things up. I look for new problems. I look for new ways of providing
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solutions to those problems for men. I keep it in the same vein, but I mix it up. And because I know
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that I'm going to be in this game for the rest of my life, there's no exit strategy here,
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then I can do the work and just have faith that it's going to play out the way that it should.
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All right. Number four, here's something you need to consider. There's going to be parts of certain
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elements of your life, whether it's a business, mostly business, I would say,
00:16:00.760
and some of your personal things where you just don't enjoy doing them. You know, with this podcast,
00:16:06.560
I don't enjoy editing podcasts. I don't enjoy long drawn out meetings to talk about the backend
00:16:13.760
finances and all the little minutiae and details that need to be thought about and considered as
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we continue to grow this movement. I don't like doing that stuff. I realized the importance of it.
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I realized why it needs to be done, but I don't like doing it. But if I force myself to do it,
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I'm going to burn out. I can do it for a while. We don't edit our podcast anymore. Cody Lanham does
00:16:36.880
a wonderful job editing the podcast. I have a CPA who handles the tax ramifications. I have people
00:16:44.560
in the right places to do the things that not only am I not good at the things I don't want to do
00:16:49.380
because they suck all of my energy, time, and attention. And if you're focused on all of the
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things that you hate doing 90 to a hundred percent of the time, is it any wonder why you
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burned out? No, of course not. You know exactly why you burned out because you were miserable and you
00:17:07.660
shouldn't be miserable. We can be miserable for a little while. And I have, there's times within
00:17:12.820
this movement where I'm, I'm, I wouldn't say miserable, but not enjoying elements and parts of
00:17:19.200
it. So I've delegated those responsibilities out. I ensure they still get done, but I delegate them
00:17:24.060
out to people who find value in doing that kind of work and get energized from doing that work. It
00:17:29.800
just isn't me. I know what needs to get done. I don't have to be the one to do it. And if you want
00:17:36.060
to avoid being burned out, even at home on the home front, imagine if you did all of the chores around
00:17:41.700
the house, everything, vacuum, dusted, put away dishes, cleaned up after everybody, took care of the
00:17:48.020
yards, took care of the house, did all the repairs, like everything that would burn you out. Same thing,
00:17:55.240
by the way, with your wife guys, if she's doing it all and you don't contribute around the house,
00:18:02.900
she's going to burn out. A lot of you guys ask, well, you know, my wife, she, it just seems more
00:18:08.640
like a roommate. Yeah. Because maybe you guys are treating each other like roommates and you're not
00:18:14.120
helping each other out and you're letting that other person do everything. And then that person's
00:18:17.800
just burning out. Of course, don't allow that stuff to happen. Again, we can delegate some of
00:18:23.480
these things out. We can share responsibilities. My wife, for example, doesn't want to handle the
00:18:28.420
finances within the family dynamic. No problem. I'll handle that. And she can handle the cooking
00:18:34.520
is actually one of her roles. I hate cooking. I despise it. And every time I say that somebody's
00:18:39.460
like, well, it's probably because you're not doing it right. If you, you know, grilled on the
00:18:43.180
Traeger grill or you, you learned this technique or learned the, no, I don't like cooking. I find
00:18:48.500
no value in it. I find no joy in it. I find no meaning in it. I just do not enjoy it. My wife,
00:18:55.240
however, loves it. She actually views it as a, a gift of, of love. It's how she expresses that to a
00:19:04.760
degree. So she's good at it. So she's the one who does the cooking. And I do other things around
00:19:10.000
the house that she doesn't enjoy it, like the family finances. So we delegate those things out.
00:19:15.180
We stick to our strengths. We stick to the things that energize us. We ensure the other things get
00:19:19.760
done and then we're less likely to burn out. So that's point number four. And then the last one,
00:19:24.380
guys, and I've been talking about this for a long time, but you got to find ventilation outlets.
00:19:28.500
You have to have a, you have to have an outlet that has nothing to do with your endeavor. So if you're
00:19:34.380
knee deep or neck deep in your business and you want it to grow and you're trying to get it off the
00:19:38.460
ground, a lot of people will be tempted to put everything, all of their time and energy and
00:19:43.040
attention and every little bit of resources they have into that venture. And while I can appreciate
00:19:48.540
that, it's a mistake to do that. This is how we burn out. So you need to find an outlet, find a hobby,
00:19:57.360
skill development, an activity, a friend, a conversation. Maybe you like reading novels or you like
00:20:03.840
painting or you like spending time with your friends golfing or at the game. I don't know what
00:20:09.460
it is for you, but I'm giving you permission as if you needed it to have a healthy outlet so that you
00:20:17.120
don't pour every ounce of your being into your business or into your relationship or into whatever
00:20:23.440
project you're working on, because I want you to actually get it done and complete it. It's a little
00:20:29.220
counterintuitive, right? I'm telling you in order to stay in the business, you have to actually get
00:20:34.620
out of the business for a little bit. It's counterintuitive, but it works. You need to be
00:20:40.800
able to rejuvenate and recharge and rest the mind, rest the body. And when you do that and then come
00:20:47.540
back in within reason, you don't want to be doing that forever, obviously, but you do that for a time
00:20:51.900
and a period and you're intentional about it. And then you come back into the business or the venture
00:20:57.300
or the relationship or the project or the whatever, you're going to be that much more effective.
00:21:03.160
So this is how I've avoided burnout over the past six years. Now we've been doing, well,
00:21:09.140
as from a podcast perspective, we've done over 700 podcasts now over six years. So that's an average
00:21:18.760
of, it's probably two and a half to three podcasts per week for the last six years.
00:21:26.340
How can I do that? How can anybody do that? How can, how can guys work out every single day for the
00:21:35.360
last two decades? How can a man be committed and married to one person for 40, 50 years? How,
00:21:46.500
how is that possible without burning out? This is how, this is how I want you to stay in it. That's
00:21:54.700
where the results happen. The results aren't going to happen immediately. And you know what,
00:21:58.300
even if they do, they aren't lasting and you don't even have a formula. It just miraculously worked
00:22:04.940
out. I want a formula. I want to know what works. I want to know what makes a person successful on
00:22:09.540
every front, systematically formulated so that I can just duplicate it. That's what I'm after. I just
00:22:15.500
want to duplicate and replicate the result over and over and over and over. I want to plug into the
00:22:20.780
system and this is the system for avoiding burnout. So let's recap these things. Number one, don't burn
00:22:26.760
all of your fuel at once. I know you're excited. I know you have a new girlfriend or you're married
00:22:32.700
and I know you're excited and you want to spend every minute and all of your time and energy and
00:22:37.200
attention on her. I get it. I understand. I've been there. It's a mistake. I know you're starting
00:22:42.300
a new business. And so you think you got to pour everything into it and all of your energy and
00:22:47.200
your enthusiasm, it all has to go in there. I get it. But the emotional fuel you're burning
00:22:53.920
burns hot, no doubt, but it's not efficient and it's not long lasting. The fuel you need
00:23:00.780
is something that burns maybe not as hot, but a little bit longer, a lot longer. All right. Number
00:23:09.160
two, mix things up again, working towards the same solution. So here's a silly example. If you were
00:23:15.880
talking about not burning out in a relationship, when I tell you that you should mix things up,
00:23:22.100
I think it's safe to assume that you know, I'm not saying go step out on your wife. Sure. That
00:23:27.920
would be mixing things up, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about mixing things up,
00:23:32.980
but staying in the same vein. So if it's in a relationship, you're still honoring your commitment
00:23:38.000
to your wife, but you're going to mix it up by going on a different date night or having a different
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activity or you having a little bit of free time with the friends and her having free time with
00:23:50.180
her friends or her family members or whatever it may be. Okay. So you're still solving the same
00:23:54.860
problems. If we're talking about a business, here's an example with order of man. I'm not
00:23:58.920
going to start order of women. Although I do have a lot of women I know who reach out and want
00:24:04.520
something like this for themselves. I get it, but that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be
00:24:08.200
doing that, but I am going to continue to solve problems creatively, different ways of going about
00:24:13.720
the same problems here with men. Cause that's who we focus on. And that's who we serve.
00:24:19.220
Number three, set your realistic expectations. You don't know how long it's going to take.
00:24:24.900
You don't know what's going to happen. It's probably going to take longer than you think.
00:24:29.080
You're probably not as good or as effective as you think you are. That's the reality.
00:24:32.700
So plan accordingly and become robotic and know that you're going to have to be in this game for
00:24:39.380
the long haul. When you set it more realistically like that, you're able to keep yourself in the
00:24:43.900
game longer. Cause if you think it's going to take two weeks at day 15, you're like, well, what the
00:24:49.520
hell? How come I don't have the six pack? How come my wife still doesn't trust me? How come I'm not
00:24:55.380
making seven figures a year? It's been 15 days. What gives you the right to think that that
00:25:02.600
should happen for you? No, many of you do. It's, it doesn't take, it takes significantly longer.
00:25:10.000
It's taken me six years to get us specifically with order of man. And then another decade before
00:25:15.600
that longer, probably 15 years before that to actually get me to the point where I could even
00:25:20.300
start order of man. It takes a long time. So be realistic about that and deal with it.
00:25:27.200
Number four, delegate the duties and responsibilities that don't energize you, uplift you. Certainly when
00:25:32.560
you're starting in a business, for example, you're going to have to do it all, but delegate that
00:25:36.700
stuff as soon as possible. So you can focus on the things that keep you energized and keep your ass
00:25:41.160
in the game. And number five, find your ventilation outlets. You got a vent and I'm not saying, get,
00:25:47.280
get the problems off your chest. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you have to have an outlet
00:25:51.560
beyond whatever you're vested in. And here's there, there's another benefit of this guys.
00:25:57.040
When you go do other things, you read different types of books, by the way that you should be
00:26:02.080
doing that. Here's a mistake that I've seen a lot of guys do. They'll start a business like I did.
00:26:08.800
And then they'll read every damn self-help book, listen to every podcast on that subject matter.
00:26:17.300
And you just consume yourself with that one thing. That is a recipe for disaster.
00:26:25.140
Read a different book, read a novel, watch a different movie, pick up a different hobby or
00:26:31.220
skill. The one I'm working on now, and you guys have all heard about this is the canoe. I've had
00:26:35.820
guys say, well, I, you know, I wish I could work, work, build a canoe and work, do woodworking.
00:26:41.060
Well, yeah, you can, like, I don't have any knowledge or experience in building a canoe,
00:26:46.820
but that's how you get knowledge and experience. You do it. So, but that's completely unrelated to
00:26:53.700
anything else. It's still in the same vein though, right? Cause I talk a lot about fatherhood and
00:26:58.460
being engaged with your kids and, and working with your hands and learning new skills. So it's still in
00:27:03.380
the same vein. Like I talked about earlier, point number two, I believe, but it's something
00:27:08.600
different enough that it just unplugs me from everything else that I'm inundated with on a
00:27:15.180
daily basis. So again, finding ventilation outfit outlets. So that's it guys. That's your
00:27:21.220
five-step formula for ensuring that you do not burn out. I don't want you to burn out. I want you
00:27:28.480
to experience results and it takes longer than we think it does. And it requires more effort than we
00:27:33.340
think it will. And we're not as good as we think we are. So plan accordingly so we can keep
00:27:38.580
our butts in the game and ultimately experience the result in your relationship with your wife
00:27:44.560
and kids and friends, your career aspirations, your business pursuit, your health and fitness
00:27:50.080
goals, every facet of your life. Do not burn out. Implement these five strategies and I think you'll
00:27:56.580
have a better chance. All right, guys, that's all I've got. We'll be back next week. Until then,
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go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:28:03.740
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of
00:28:07.880
your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
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