Avoid Burnout in Your Business and Relationships | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
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Summary
Avoiding burnout is something that all men deal with. It's something that we all deal with, whether it's in our personal or professional lives. In this episode, Ryan talks about 5 ways to avoid burnout in your personal and professional life.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
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and I am the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here. Welcome
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back. It's been a good ride. We've been in this thing for six years now, and the amount of traction
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that we've been able to make in that period of time is absolutely phenomenal, which I like to
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claim some credit for it, but let's be honest, it's you. It's you as men listening, tuning in,
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banding with us, becoming the type of men we've been talking about for the past six years now,
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sharing the message, and just stepping up the way that you need to. First and foremost,
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I want to say thank you. If you are new to the podcast, this is your Friday Field Notes. You get
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to hear from me for the next 20, 25 minutes or so on some topics that I've been thinking about from
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throughout the week, but of course, we've got our interview show as well, where we interview guys
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like Steve Rinella, Jocko Willing, David Goggins, Andy Priscilla. The men that come on are absolutely
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phenomenal, and it's my job to secure these guests for you and then take their education experience
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information, distill it down into a practical conversation that you can apply to your life.
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So that's what this one's going to be. We're going to be talking about avoiding burnout because this is
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something that all men deal with. It's something that I've certainly dealt with, not only here with
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Order of Man, but other facets of my life. So we're going to get into that in a minute because I have
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five tips that you can use in your life to avoid burnout yourself. But before I do, I want to make
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one other announcement. A lot of you guys know at this point that we just came out with Origin Beard
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you got to have Origin Beard Oil. I was looking through the hot new releases for beard products on all of
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is the number one hot new beard oil release in all of Amazon. So if you've purchased any beard oil,
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if you've left a verified review, you've tried it out, you get value from it. I just want to tell you,
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I appreciate you. This is a project that I work closely with Origin on. They've done a wonderful,
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wonderful job putting together something that is 100% made and sourced in America. In fact,
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it's the people here in Maine, my neighbors right down the road that are shipping this stuff out.
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And we have factories here in the US and it's pretty incredible what we've been able to do here
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with this beard product. So again, if you're interested in supporting a 100% made and sourced
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in America company and a manufacturing company, then make sure to check out Origin Beard Oil on Amazon.
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And if you pick up a bottle and leave a review, a verified review, and then email a screenshot of
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that review to promotions at origin MFG, promotions at origin MFG.com. They'll go ahead and send you a
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free bottle. So there you go. That's my announcement. All right, guys, let's talk about avoiding burnout.
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This is something all men deal with. Things don't always go according to plan. Results take longer
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than you think they will. You get tired, you get run down, you get beat up. This is part of life.
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And I don't want you to be burned out on any facet of your life, whether it's your fitness journey,
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the relationship that you have with your wife or anybody else for that matter,
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a business that you might be engaged in, a career endeavor or pursuit, a hobby, whatever.
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I don't want you to be burned out. And I don't want you to be burned out because often the results
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come after most, the average person, the majority of people probably do burnout. And then we wonder
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why we're not experiencing the results. Is it because possibly we have burnt out before we yield
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the benefit, the blessing, the outcome of our work up to that point? So we're going to break this down.
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We're going to talk about why you should avoid burning out and more importantly, how to avoid
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burning out. So let's just jump right into it. Again, five points for this. Number one, the first
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point is don't burn all of your fuel at once, right? A lot of you guys are coming out of the gates on
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fire screaming. You're so excited about the new program, the new diet, the new relationship,
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the new business venture, the new project, whatever it is you're doing. And you burn all of your fuel at
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once. And when all of that fuel is burned up, you have absolutely nothing left in the tank. And so you
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quit, you throw in the towel, you realize that you don't have the same level of interest or that it has
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become difficult or demanding, or it isn't what you expected. And so you don't have any more fuel left
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to drive on with what it is that you want to drive on with. I get it. I understand being excited. I
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understand being hopped up, but understand that the results that you desire are going to take
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a long time and it's going to take a lot of effort. And you need to know that if you burn it all up,
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right at, right at front. And I know a lot of guys like this, I don't happen to be one of these guys.
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But these tend to be more of your emotionally charged people, right? They're so motivated.
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They're so excited. They're so inspired at this moment in time that they burn up everything because
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they can't think about what's going to happen in a week or a month or six years. Like we've been
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going here with order of man. They think about what's happening right now. And that's an emotionally
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charged response. And by the way, I don't say that, that, that as a negative, that I, the concept that
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we use our emotions. I know a lot of people do. And a lot of people interpret what isn't meant to be
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interpreted as, as something negative, but they interpret it negatively. I'm not suggesting you don't
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be emotional. I think you should use emotions as a metric, not the only metric, but a metric for the
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direction in your life. But if you're, if your fuel is emotionally charged, that burns hot and it
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burns quickly. And then when all of that is gone, there's nothing left. There's no logic. There's
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no reasoning. There's no grit, no determination behind that. You got to have some other, if we're
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using the analogy of fuel, some other denser, longer lasting, longer burning fuel than the emotion
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of being excited. So you can be excited, but don't come out of the gate swinging, figure out, okay,
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I'm in this thing for the long haul. I got to keep myself in this thing and figure out how to do that.
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Number two, mix things up. All right. Some of us get so monotonous, so mundane. You know, we wake up
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at the same time every day. We do the same exercises. We go through the same routines. We attempt to
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solve the same problems. We send out the same emails and everything is always the same. This is
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actually what gets me out of all the points that I'm sharing with you today. Number one, again, was
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don't burn all your fuel at once. That's not something I struggle with. Number two is I just get
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bored. I get bored if everything is always the same. So how do you avoid boredom is you mix it up,
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take a new route to work, do a new workout routine, practice a different martial art,
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have a different kind of conversation with your wife, take your family on a vacation or to a place
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that you've never gone before, solve a different problem at work. Now, one thing I will say is that
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you can mix things up too much and you can start deviating from your path. So for example, if
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you're trying to start a new business and you're trying to solve problems for men, like we are here
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with Order of Man, and all of a sudden you start solving problems for women, okay, well, then that
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actually doesn't fit within your objective and you're detracting from what you could be doing. Yes,
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it will be more interesting, but it's not going to move the needle. So instead of changing your
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demographic or changing what it is you're trying to do, you change the way that you approach it. So you're
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still trying to solve the same problems that is in this case, helping men, equipping them,
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empowering them with what they need to thrive, but we do it in a different way. So one of the ways
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that we've done it here is initially we did the interview podcast that comes out each and every
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Tuesday. And because I get a little bit bored with the same thing over and over again, we came out with
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a second show and then a third show. And now we have the ask me anything. We have this, your Friday
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field notes. This is part of the way that I've avoided being burned out because we're still
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solving the same problems, but we're going about it in a different way. Another way that we've done
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that is we brought merchandise in. That isn't something we always did, but it solves a problem
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that helps funding with the movement. It gives guys great looking gear that they're going to use
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and wear and be proud to wear because it has a meaning and purpose behind it. And it's fun. I enjoy
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the design element. I enjoy growing the store. We've also done this with live events. It wasn't
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enough for me to have the digital conversations that we've been having specifically in our exclusive
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Brotherhood, the Iron Council. I wanted to do events live. So we did a men's event with 20 guys. And then
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we did a father-son event because I wanted to mix it up. And we did that with 40. Was it 40? Yes. 40,
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well, it's 20 fathers and 20 boys. So 40 total attendees. And then we did the main event,
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which we had 70-ish people there. And the next one, we'll have a hundred people there,
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but we're continually mixing things up because I don't want to get bored and I don't want to burn
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out. And I don't want things to be so monotonous and the same every day because that would just drive
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me nuts. And this is most people, they chase what's exciting. So they'll bounce from place to
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place from work to work, relationship to relationship, exercise to exercise when we
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know it's been proven that the results come through sustained effort. So continue to solve
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the same problems, but the way that we solve those problems is going to be different. And that's,
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what's going to help you avoid the burnout that maybe you would if you were doing the same things
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over and over again, every single day. All right. Number three, you got to set up your realistic
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expectations. Okay. You have to set up realistic expectations for you, for other people, for the
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scenario that might be playing out. Because again, most people think that the results are going to
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come quicker than they actually will. And in my experience, the results that I'm after tend to take
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longer. I'm not as effective as I could or should or would like to be. And so I have to set realistic
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expectations that this is not always going to be an exciting ride. That it's not always going to
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happen overnight. That I'm going to have to be in this game for years and years and years in order
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to produce the results that I'm after. When I started this podcast, I deliberately and intentionally,
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and I can remember vividly telling myself that I will not make a decision as to whether or not to
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throw in the towel or keep going with order of man in the podcast for at least two years.
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That meant I would get over a hundred episodes in the bank published, released before I even
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contemplated, even considered not doing it. And we know that I was way more excited well ahead of
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a hundred episodes into the first five or six or maybe 10 tops episodes. I knew we were onto something
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big here. So it didn't take that timeframe, but look, if you're expecting the results,
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if you're expecting to have the six pack abs in the next week, but you spent the last decade on the
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couch, you're going to fail. You are, you're going to quit because you don't have or won't meet your
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expectation. If you think that after two decades of not leading your wife and your family and your
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children well, that all of a sudden, if you tell them, well, I'm listening to this podcast and
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I'm waking up early. So what's your problem? If you think that's going to, that's actually what's
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going to move the needle in your relationship. That's the expectation you have when it doesn't
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happen by your standard, by your clock, you're going to quit and you're going to revert back to
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your old ways, which we know we're not producing the results that you want. So let's lower the
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expectations for others, mostly and the scenario, not for yourself, hold yourself to a high standard,
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but I don't think we need to place unrealistic expectations on circumstances and we certainly
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shouldn't be placing them on others. So lower the bar for those individuals and those scenarios
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and what it will take, increase the standard for yourself by doing some of these other things like
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mixing it up, not burning all your fuel at once, that sort of thing. But this is very important that
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we make sure we have the realistic expectations in place, which by the way, actually marries nicely with
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point number one, where I said, don't burn all out at once. Again, the guys who are emotionally
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charged, who are really hopped up and motivated right now are burning that high octane fuel that
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just doesn't last. Those people usually don't have realistic expectations. Imagine this. Here's a great
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way to look at it. Imagine I came to you and I said, hey, you know, I want to, let's play football.
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You're going to get your, your best guys together. I'm going to get my best guys together and we're
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going to play a game, but here's the deal. I'm not going to tell you how long the game's going to
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last. So now you're left with trying to decide, do I put all my best players in? Do we go a thousand
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miles an hour, hoping that the game doesn't last very long? Do we underplay for the first little
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while thinking that maybe the game is going to last a long time? The thing is we don't know,
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right? You don't know what's going to happen in your relationship. You don't know what's going
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to happen in your business. These things are largely the result beyond your control because
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there's a lot of things that move and there's a lot of scenarios and things that are, that are
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outside of our control. You don't know that. And so you're basically playing a game that you're not
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really aware of how long it will last. So how do you strategize? How do you plan for? Well, if it were
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me, I would plan on being in the thing forever. How can I sustain myself and my results and my
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effort, more importantly, forever until I die? And that's actually how I look at it with this podcast.
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You know, I don't, I don't have to think that I need all the results immediately. I actually know
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with every fiber of my being that we will ultimately achieve the success that we're after.
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I know that it's already, it's, it's already a reality. It's not a reality. It's already potential.
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It just is what it is. And all I have to do is just keep myself in the game long enough for that
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to happen. And that doesn't mean I'm just kind of going through the motions. No, I told you earlier,
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I mix things up. I change things up. I look for new problems. I look for new ways of providing
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solutions to those problems for men. I keep it in the same vein, but I mix it up. And because I know
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that I'm going to be in this game for the rest of my life, there's no exit strategy here,
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then I can do the work and just have faith that it's going to play out the way that it should.
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All right. Number four, here's something you need to consider. There's going to be parts of certain
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elements of your life, whether it's a business, mostly business, I would say,
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and some of your personal things where you just don't enjoy doing them. You know, with this podcast,
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I don't enjoy editing podcasts. I don't enjoy long drawn out meetings to talk about the backend
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finances and all the little minutiae and details that need to be thought about and considered as
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we continue to grow this movement. I don't like doing that stuff. I realized the importance of it.
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I realized why it needs to be done, but I don't like doing it. But if I force myself to do it,
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I'm going to burn out. I can do it for a while. We don't edit our podcast anymore. Cody Lanham does
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a wonderful job editing the podcast. I have a CPA who handles the tax ramifications. I have people
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in the right places to do the things that not only am I not good at the things I don't want to do
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because they suck all of my energy, time, and attention. And if you're focused on all of the
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things that you hate doing 90 to a hundred percent of the time, is it any wonder why you
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burned out? No, of course not. You know exactly why you burned out because you were miserable and you
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shouldn't be miserable. We can be miserable for a little while. And I have, there's times within
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this movement where I'm, I'm, I wouldn't say miserable, but not enjoying elements and parts of
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it. So I've delegated those responsibilities out. I ensure they still get done, but I delegate them
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out to people who find value in doing that kind of work and get energized from doing that work. It
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just isn't me. I know what needs to get done. I don't have to be the one to do it. And if you want
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to avoid being burned out, even at home on the home front, imagine if you did all of the chores around
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the house, everything, vacuum, dusted, put away dishes, cleaned up after everybody, took care of the
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yards, took care of the house, did all the repairs, like everything that would burn you out. Same thing,
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by the way, with your wife guys, if she's doing it all and you don't contribute around the house,
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she's going to burn out. A lot of you guys ask, well, you know, my wife, she, it just seems more
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like a roommate. Yeah. Because maybe you guys are treating each other like roommates and you're not
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helping each other out and you're letting that other person do everything. And then that person's
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just burning out. Of course, don't allow that stuff to happen. Again, we can delegate some of
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these things out. We can share responsibilities. My wife, for example, doesn't want to handle the
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finances within the family dynamic. No problem. I'll handle that. And she can handle the cooking
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is actually one of her roles. I hate cooking. I despise it. And every time I say that somebody's
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like, well, it's probably because you're not doing it right. If you, you know, grilled on the
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Traeger grill or you, you learned this technique or learned the, no, I don't like cooking. I find
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no value in it. I find no joy in it. I find no meaning in it. I just do not enjoy it. My wife,
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however, loves it. She actually views it as a, a gift of, of love. It's how she expresses that to a
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degree. So she's good at it. So she's the one who does the cooking. And I do other things around
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the house that she doesn't enjoy it, like the family finances. So we delegate those things out.
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We stick to our strengths. We stick to the things that energize us. We ensure the other things get
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done and then we're less likely to burn out. So that's point number four. And then the last one,
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guys, and I've been talking about this for a long time, but you got to find ventilation outlets.
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You have to have a, you have to have an outlet that has nothing to do with your endeavor. So if you're
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knee deep or neck deep in your business and you want it to grow and you're trying to get it off the
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ground, a lot of people will be tempted to put everything, all of their time and energy and
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attention and every little bit of resources they have into that venture. And while I can appreciate
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that, it's a mistake to do that. This is how we burn out. So you need to find an outlet, find a hobby,
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skill development, an activity, a friend, a conversation. Maybe you like reading novels or you like
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painting or you like spending time with your friends golfing or at the game. I don't know what
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it is for you, but I'm giving you permission as if you needed it to have a healthy outlet so that you
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don't pour every ounce of your being into your business or into your relationship or into whatever
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project you're working on, because I want you to actually get it done and complete it. It's a little
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counterintuitive, right? I'm telling you in order to stay in the business, you have to actually get
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out of the business for a little bit. It's counterintuitive, but it works. You need to be
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able to rejuvenate and recharge and rest the mind, rest the body. And when you do that and then come
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back in within reason, you don't want to be doing that forever, obviously, but you do that for a time
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and a period and you're intentional about it. And then you come back into the business or the venture
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or the relationship or the project or the whatever, you're going to be that much more effective.
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So this is how I've avoided burnout over the past six years. Now we've been doing, well,
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as from a podcast perspective, we've done over 700 podcasts now over six years. So that's an average
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of, it's probably two and a half to three podcasts per week for the last six years.
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How can I do that? How can anybody do that? How can, how can guys work out every single day for the
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last two decades? How can a man be committed and married to one person for 40, 50 years? How,
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how is that possible without burning out? This is how, this is how I want you to stay in it. That's
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where the results happen. The results aren't going to happen immediately. And you know what,
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even if they do, they aren't lasting and you don't even have a formula. It just miraculously worked
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out. I want a formula. I want to know what works. I want to know what makes a person successful on
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every front, systematically formulated so that I can just duplicate it. That's what I'm after. I just
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want to duplicate and replicate the result over and over and over and over. I want to plug into the
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system and this is the system for avoiding burnout. So let's recap these things. Number one, don't burn
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all of your fuel at once. I know you're excited. I know you have a new girlfriend or you're married
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and I know you're excited and you want to spend every minute and all of your time and energy and
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attention on her. I get it. I understand. I've been there. It's a mistake. I know you're starting
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a new business. And so you think you got to pour everything into it and all of your energy and
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your enthusiasm, it all has to go in there. I get it. But the emotional fuel you're burning
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burns hot, no doubt, but it's not efficient and it's not long lasting. The fuel you need
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is something that burns maybe not as hot, but a little bit longer, a lot longer. All right. Number
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two, mix things up again, working towards the same solution. So here's a silly example. If you were
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talking about not burning out in a relationship, when I tell you that you should mix things up,
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I think it's safe to assume that you know, I'm not saying go step out on your wife. Sure. That
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would be mixing things up, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about mixing things up,
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but staying in the same vein. So if it's in a relationship, you're still honoring your commitment
00:23:38.000
to your wife, but you're going to mix it up by going on a different date night or having a different
00:23:45.080
activity or you having a little bit of free time with the friends and her having free time with
00:23:50.180
her friends or her family members or whatever it may be. Okay. So you're still solving the same
00:23:54.860
problems. If we're talking about a business, here's an example with order of man. I'm not
00:23:58.920
going to start order of women. Although I do have a lot of women I know who reach out and want
00:24:04.520
something like this for themselves. I get it, but that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be
00:24:08.200
doing that, but I am going to continue to solve problems creatively, different ways of going about
00:24:13.720
the same problems here with men. Cause that's who we focus on. And that's who we serve.
00:24:19.220
Number three, set your realistic expectations. You don't know how long it's going to take.
00:24:24.900
You don't know what's going to happen. It's probably going to take longer than you think.
00:24:29.080
You're probably not as good or as effective as you think you are. That's the reality.
00:24:32.700
So plan accordingly and become robotic and know that you're going to have to be in this game for
00:24:39.380
the long haul. When you set it more realistically like that, you're able to keep yourself in the
00:24:43.900
game longer. Cause if you think it's going to take two weeks at day 15, you're like, well, what the
00:24:49.520
hell? How come I don't have the six pack? How come my wife still doesn't trust me? How come I'm not
00:24:55.380
making seven figures a year? It's been 15 days. What gives you the right to think that that
00:25:02.600
should happen for you? No, many of you do. It's, it doesn't take, it takes significantly longer.
00:25:10.000
It's taken me six years to get us specifically with order of man. And then another decade before
00:25:15.600
that longer, probably 15 years before that to actually get me to the point where I could even
00:25:20.300
start order of man. It takes a long time. So be realistic about that and deal with it.
00:25:27.200
Number four, delegate the duties and responsibilities that don't energize you, uplift you. Certainly when
00:25:32.560
you're starting in a business, for example, you're going to have to do it all, but delegate that
00:25:36.700
stuff as soon as possible. So you can focus on the things that keep you energized and keep your ass
00:25:41.160
in the game. And number five, find your ventilation outlets. You got a vent and I'm not saying, get,
00:25:47.280
get the problems off your chest. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you have to have an outlet
00:25:51.560
beyond whatever you're vested in. And here's there, there's another benefit of this guys.
00:25:57.040
When you go do other things, you read different types of books, by the way that you should be
00:26:02.080
doing that. Here's a mistake that I've seen a lot of guys do. They'll start a business like I did.
00:26:08.800
And then they'll read every damn self-help book, listen to every podcast on that subject matter.
00:26:17.300
And you just consume yourself with that one thing. That is a recipe for disaster.
00:26:25.140
Read a different book, read a novel, watch a different movie, pick up a different hobby or
00:26:31.220
skill. The one I'm working on now, and you guys have all heard about this is the canoe. I've had
00:26:35.820
guys say, well, I, you know, I wish I could work, work, build a canoe and work, do woodworking.
00:26:41.060
Well, yeah, you can, like, I don't have any knowledge or experience in building a canoe,
00:26:46.820
but that's how you get knowledge and experience. You do it. So, but that's completely unrelated to
00:26:53.700
anything else. It's still in the same vein though, right? Cause I talk a lot about fatherhood and
00:26:58.460
being engaged with your kids and, and working with your hands and learning new skills. So it's still in
00:27:03.380
the same vein. Like I talked about earlier, point number two, I believe, but it's something
00:27:08.600
different enough that it just unplugs me from everything else that I'm inundated with on a
00:27:15.180
daily basis. So again, finding ventilation outfit outlets. So that's it guys. That's your
00:27:21.220
five-step formula for ensuring that you do not burn out. I don't want you to burn out. I want you
00:27:28.480
to experience results and it takes longer than we think it does. And it requires more effort than we
00:27:33.340
think it will. And we're not as good as we think we are. So plan accordingly so we can keep
00:27:38.580
our butts in the game and ultimately experience the result in your relationship with your wife
00:27:44.560
and kids and friends, your career aspirations, your business pursuit, your health and fitness
00:27:50.080
goals, every facet of your life. Do not burn out. Implement these five strategies and I think you'll
00:27:56.580
have a better chance. All right, guys, that's all I've got. We'll be back next week. Until then,
00:28:00.640
go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
00:28:03.740
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of
00:28:07.880
your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.