Order of Man - Avoid Burnout, Passing on Your Family Name, and Balancing Family and Personal Priorities ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.120 What's going on, man? Glad to be back for another round of Ask Me Anything.

00:00:28.220 We've tried this one three times now. I think the third time's a charm, though.

00:00:32.040 It's the world's way of preparing us to provide the most amazing insight possible for these questions.

00:00:38.400 Well, you'd think it would get better if we had to do the same questions three times, but we'll see.

00:00:42.580 We'll see how it goes. Maybe I just jinxed us by even bringing that up.

00:00:46.620 I don't know. We'll find out here in about 20 minutes if it cuts out on us again.

00:00:50.000 All right. A little knock on wood here.

00:00:52.080 That's right. There you go.

00:00:53.300 So, guys, what we're doing today is answering questions from, I think, Facebook exclusively, which is at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:01:03.080 But we're also answering questions from our brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:01:07.860 And we did that last week.

00:01:08.920 We're just trying to catch up and get caught up with all these questions that we're getting.

00:01:12.120 We get a lot of questions, don't we?

00:01:13.940 Yeah. You ask and they flood in.

00:01:16.140 Yeah. Yeah. And then occasionally I do the ask me any things where I just do it right there in real time and I get a lot more questions there.

00:01:22.140 So plenty of questions to answer and we'll do our best.

00:01:25.020 We don't have all the answers, but we certainly try.

00:01:28.120 Right. Or at least facilitate some ideas so guys can give some further thought to, you know what I mean, to have these questions might be answered.

00:01:34.840 Yeah, definitely. Great point.

00:01:36.520 Well, let's get right into it and we'll answer as many as we can in the best way we can and we'll go from there.

00:01:41.720 Yeah. Sounds great. So our first question from Mike Ranko, how to teach my sons how to carry our family name.

00:01:49.340 Also, what should be taught or focused on in regards to that each in regards to that at each age group?

00:01:56.880 I don't know what age group specifically Mike is talking about, but maybe your suggestions.

00:02:01.120 Sure. Yeah. So I think the best thing you can do is is be an example.

00:02:05.400 Number one. I don't think that's enough, though, because I think sometimes our kids will pick some of that stuff up and I think other times they won't connect the dots between the way you're behaving in the way that maybe they ought to behave as they mature and get older and go out on their own.

00:02:20.740 So what I do is I'm I'm constantly looking for teaching opportunities.

00:02:26.260 And I think if you go into life and your experiences with your kids, with that attitude, that if something happens, whether it's a an interaction with somebody at a store or you get into an accident, a little fender bender and the way you conduct yourself and carry yourself to even potentially maybe getting pulled over and the way that you conduct yourself with with a police officer is have the experience, but then explain the experience.

00:02:51.020 That's that's that's what you have to do is explain. Hey, I got pulled over. Here's why I got pulled over and here's how I interacted and here's why I interacted with a police officer that way.

00:03:00.200 And here's why it's a good thing that we have police officers and here's the value they add to the community and here's how they get paid, like actually connect the dots for your kids so that they see why you behave this way.

00:03:12.900 They see to see the way that you're doing it and they see why you're doing it.

00:03:16.900 Yeah. And Ryan, I would assume then your second part of this is then you would ask your son, how do you think you or how did you feel about this circumstance?

00:03:25.720 How would you react? What were your first thoughts and feelings?

00:03:29.060 I mean, it's something that you bring up a lot on this podcast is constantly asking them and giving them that opportunity to think as well. Correct.

00:03:35.660 I think that's a great point. You know, last night we had a baseball game with my oldest son. And again, we got we got our butts kicked like it's just one of those those seasons.

00:03:45.440 And after the game, I said, are you upset? He says, yes, which I already knew, but I was trying to open the dialogue. And I said, well, why are you upset? And he explained why he was upset.

00:03:54.680 And then I asked, well, what can we do about it? Can we focus on something? Can you and I work on batting practice? Can we work on the mechanics? What can we do with the team? And together we came up with a few ideas.

00:04:04.980 I came up with some, he came up with some, and some of the ideas he came up with, I hadn't considered or thought about. It gave me a perspective I hadn't considered. It gave him an opportunity to be creative and start to solve his own problems.

00:04:16.360 And, and it was a good experience for both of us. So yeah, absolutely. The other thing I would say is to go back and listen to the Friday field notes from, I don't think it was last week. I think it was the week before called initiate the boys or their burn the village down.

00:04:32.020 And I go in there and I explain some rites of passages that I put in place for my children, specifically my boys. And I do this at phases. So when he talks about age groups, I do these rites of passages every two years. So eight, 10, 12, 14, 16, and the last one is 18. So they'll have multiple opportunities to go through these rites of passages in between my example and also the stories and the conversations that I'm having with them as well.

00:05:02.020 Yeah. One other thought Ryan that I just had is, you know, his question was how to teach my sons, how to carry our family name. You know, I think coming back from the legacy event a few weeks ago, creating a, a, a code of conduct and, and, or an ethos for your family. And, and that whole process of having your boys be part of it is kind of a definition of what it is to carry that name.

00:05:29.140 What does it mean to be a Michler? What does it mean to be a Sorensen? And, and they have a buy-in as part of that process. And I also think it lays the kind of the groundworks by which your boys will act. And so I think that can, can contribute to that question as well.

00:05:43.800 I think that's a great point because if you think about what the name Sorensen means or what the name Michler means, they're, they're really just noises that we make.

00:05:50.980 Like that's all, that's all we define. Right. That's exactly right. And so you have to help your son define that and understand what it means. I also think family history plays a role in this. If you can go back and you can talk about your father and your grandfather and your great, great grandfather who came over from England over to the America to pursue an opportunity. Like you, you start doing some of this family research and history. There's powerful lessons that can be learned there as well.

00:06:16.640 Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Next question. Brady gambling. My wife and I are expecting our first child in July. We have had an ultrasound that Clotus showed it was a boy yet both she and other members of my family still think it could be a girl. Personally, I will love my child either way, but I worry that my wife will be disappointed if it's a boy. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

00:06:40.080 You'll find out in six months or whatever it is. Like, I don't know.

00:06:44.880 Yeah. You know what's statistically sad? Statistically, most people do not want a boy and people would prefer a girl in the current situation.

00:06:55.320 Really? Did you see that? Where did you see that?

00:06:58.260 He covers that in that book, The Boys' Boy Crisis.

00:07:01.240 Oh, I must have overlooked that or forgotten that. Yeah. Interesting.

00:07:04.560 Yeah. And it's really interesting and really plays to the part of the issue with society's perception on masculinity and men being demonized.

00:07:14.820 Yeah.

00:07:15.180 And it's at the root of it, right?

00:07:17.300 Anyhow, that's not the question.

00:07:18.520 No, but I don't know. I mean, if she thinks it's a girl, then I guess you'll find out and just keep talking with her and she'll be fine. She's not going to be disappointed.

00:07:29.380 She just thinks it's a girl or whatever. And I don't really think this is an issue.

00:07:35.020 No. Well, and even if – like, I'll give you an example.

00:07:37.720 The first time that I had a girl because we had three boys first and the first time my daughter came, I'll be honest, I was like, oh, man, I was kind of hoping it was a boy.

00:07:47.980 But why? Because I didn't know the amazing and enlightening possibilities that would have opened up by having a daughter.

00:07:59.540 And the minute – and then when she was born, I realized like, oh, my gosh, like this is a whole different world and I love it.

00:08:05.420 And it's going to be no different for her.

00:08:06.920 She has some expectation of what it's going to be like to have a daughter.

00:08:09.200 She has expectations of what it's going to be to have a boy.

00:08:11.700 And guess what? Probably both of them are wrong.

00:08:13.820 Yeah.

00:08:14.140 And she'll see the value of whatever you end up having.

00:08:17.920 Right.

00:08:18.400 Yeah. I don't think this is an issue.

00:08:21.480 You guys are going to be happy regardless.

00:08:24.040 Yeah. Congratulations, though, Brady.

00:08:25.580 Absolutely.

00:08:25.880 That's super awesome.

00:08:26.600 Absolutely.

00:08:28.000 Jonathan Harps, guys, I've been feeling burnt out at work and at home.

00:08:32.380 With two boys, one, nine, and the other 15 months, I am finding it hard to get on track with everything.

00:08:39.520 Suggestions, please, and thanks again for all that you do.

00:08:42.340 Battle plan.

00:08:42.800 Yeah.

00:08:44.000 Yeah.

00:08:44.560 I mean, it is.

00:08:45.400 It's just, it's planning.

00:08:46.880 It's planning.

00:08:47.760 I would also say if you're feeling burnt out, you got to mix things up too.

00:08:51.160 You know, it's easy to fall in these monotonous ruts and get doing the same thing day in and day out over and over and over again.

00:08:58.600 And to some degree, begin to feel like just this monotonous robot in the way in which you operate your life.

00:09:05.280 So go out there, have an adventure, say yes to something you normally wouldn't say yes to.

00:09:09.980 Take, take a calculated risk.

00:09:13.280 Go, go, go try something new.

00:09:16.240 I mean, these are the things that might just snap you out of the rut and give you a different perspective that you haven't considered.

00:09:21.120 Outside of, of course, your planning and really being aspirational and trying some new things.

00:09:27.260 But I think it's probably, if you're feeling like this, time to mix things up and make yourself feel alive again.

00:09:32.880 Yeah.

00:09:33.040 And this is for the Facebook guys, right?

00:09:35.060 So let's give some, maybe a little bit of counsel on that battle plan.

00:09:39.020 So some people might think, okay, these battle plans are just about like kicking ass in all aspects of life.

00:09:44.500 Well, sometimes that battle plan is get eight hours of sleep.

00:09:47.920 Sometimes that battle plan is, you know, read for 15 minutes, decompress after work.

00:09:54.380 Like it's about being intentional and you figuring out what is causing the burnout and how do you position yourself best to be the most effective person possible.

00:10:04.500 And sometimes that is decommissioning.

00:10:07.220 That is sometimes, you know, slowing things down or whatever, right?

00:10:10.920 Yep.

00:10:11.660 Yeah.

00:10:13.040 It's just a process of experimentation and really testing and seeing where you're feeling burnt out and then just implementing some new strategies or experiences that are, that are going to light you back on fire.

00:10:23.480 Yeah, totally.

00:10:24.380 And you just said, actually, you just alluded to the other thought that I had was, you know, pivot, try it out, experiment.

00:10:29.900 If it's not working, adjust it, right?

00:10:31.620 Don't think that you have to like plan this thing out.

00:10:33.540 I mean, we, we run into this in the iron council, right?

00:10:35.900 When we create battle plans and you go a week or two in and it's not working, the guys think like they're stuck with it for the next 12 weeks.

00:10:43.220 It's like, no, no, no, just pivot.

00:10:44.900 Yeah.

00:10:45.580 Life is really that it's, it's a process of experimentation.

00:10:48.440 Every day you're experimenting and seeing what works.

00:10:50.960 Did this work better than yesterday?

00:10:52.260 Did my workout, was my workout more effective?

00:10:54.660 Was the relationship I had, uh, or the conversation I had with my wife or kids better?

00:10:59.560 Was the sex better than it was the night before?

00:11:01.680 Was, I mean, everything, everything is a process of experimentation.

00:11:04.480 And seeing how you can improve and make yourself that much better each and every day.

00:11:09.840 I think we get so pigeonholed into these planning tools and strategies that we think that we have to do it this way.

00:11:16.540 No, man, go out there, experiment and understand and realize that what works for me is going to be different than what works for Kip.

00:11:24.100 And what works for Kip is going to be different than what works for you.

00:11:27.380 And that's great.

00:11:28.740 That's okay.

00:11:29.240 That's actually how it should be.

00:11:30.520 But go out and try things that are intriguing and fascinating and interesting to you.

00:11:34.480 Totally.

00:11:35.080 I got distracted midway because I heard experimentation, sex, and I was like, all right, is Ryan doing like, all right, honey, after action review.

00:11:42.900 What went well?

00:11:45.240 What did not go well?

00:11:46.660 What could we do to sustain what went well?

00:11:49.420 I mean, maybe like to a degree.

00:11:51.880 I don't know if I'm that rigid in my after action reviews, uh, in, in being romantic with my wife, but certainly we, we talk about these things and we have discussions about these things and we communicate with each other.

00:12:05.000 Cause I don't want to be guessing.

00:12:06.540 And she doesn't need to be guessing.

00:12:07.800 Like we can talk about it the way we might do.

00:12:10.480 It just might be different than your rigid standardized after action review.

00:12:15.160 Print out a piece of paper.

00:12:16.400 Here you go.

00:12:16.920 Will you please fill out this survey and get it back to me?

00:12:18.940 It's anonymous.

00:12:19.420 So you don't have to put your name on it.

00:12:21.520 Hold on.

00:12:22.080 Let me get out my battle plan.

00:12:23.200 Yes.

00:12:23.740 Mark for today.

00:12:24.900 That's right.

00:12:25.860 Five minutes.

00:12:27.540 Try to last longer each day.

00:12:31.620 Move on, move on, move on.

00:12:33.140 I know.

00:12:33.580 Dustin Darby.

00:12:34.600 You mentioned that part of being a man is being able to take hard stance on something.

00:12:38.220 My question is how can you do this, but also ensure that you're remaining open to new information to take a hard stance.

00:12:44.360 It seems to me that you stop looking and possible even reject new information.

00:12:49.480 How is this the balance?

00:12:50.660 So you can remain in a growth mindset, but also know what you stand for.

00:12:54.940 Uh, it's a good distinction.

00:12:56.220 I don't know if hard stance is the right phrase as much as have conviction.

00:13:01.500 And I think you can have conviction towards a cause or a belief or an idea and still open yourself up to new opportunities that may change the way that you think about something.

00:13:12.100 You know, for example, my relationship with God is something that I'm, I've got a testimony of.

00:13:16.700 Uh, it's something that I have a lot of conviction towards and for, uh, but that doesn't mean that I stop reading the Bible or stop listening to other people or, uh, stop pondering as to what the scriptures mean.

00:13:29.540 That's the same thing here with regards to what it means to be a man.

00:13:32.340 I feel like I have a pretty good handle on what it means to be a man.

00:13:35.960 And I'm constantly striving to step into that myself, but that doesn't mean that I'm, that I stop reading doesn't mean that I stop exploring.

00:13:44.360 In fact, if anything, I I'm more interested in what it means to be a man and this idea and notion of masculinity than I ever have been.

00:13:51.860 And my perspectives change on that, but I still have conviction in the moment based on what information I have currently been exposed to.

00:14:00.560 Yeah. And my definition of masculinity, maybe it'll change, maybe it'll adjust, maybe it'll be different.

00:14:07.640 Maybe it won't in five years or 10 years or 20 years, but it's the new information I expose myself to is only going to help me have more conviction towards what I currently believe or help me have more conviction towards a new and improved way of looking at something.

00:14:22.500 Totally. Let me throw this idea at you, Ryan. Part of me feels that if you understand the why and you have backing around your stance, like you, you understand your opinion on masculinity and, and, and not just you understand like the thought, but you understand why you feel that way.

00:14:43.120 Right. What evidence and what information and what experiences have you have come to this conclusion on then when you, that allows you to be open.

00:14:52.860 So if someone challenges it, you're not looking at as a challenge to your stance, you're seeing it as additional information to see if it changes the underlining evidence that is related to your stance.

00:15:05.840 Does it, does that make sense? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

00:15:07.980 Yeah, I think I do. Uh, this actually goes back to Simon Sinek's work when he, when he wrote the book, start with why it's, it's really your, why it's really your motive. It's your intention.

00:15:18.580 My whole intention with regards to masculinity is to help equip myself with the tools and the information that I need in my life to be a more capable husband, father, business owner, community leader, coach, mentor, friend, et cetera.

00:15:34.040 And it's also my intention to give other men those same tools and information. So if I find something that is counter to what I already believe, but it's going to equip me with the resources I need to fulfill that mission, that why, then certainly I'm going to take that into consideration.

00:15:51.480 Now, if my whole intention was just to be right and to, to prop myself up on a pedestal and make myself better than everybody else. Well, yeah, then I might be closed off to new information because it's a threat to, uh, my, my credibility with other people.

00:16:10.560 Yeah. Yeah, totally. Like it. All right. Eric Dube, how do we balance taking care of ourselves with the needs of our families and careers? It's always 50, 50, or is there flux depending on the needs?

00:16:26.080 Uh, I mean, I don't think it's 50, 50 or 70, 30 or 60, 40. I don't, I don't really think it, it works like that. I just think we carve out time throughout our day to take care of ourselves.

00:16:36.860 So for example, if we were to break down my day, uh, I wake up at five 30. Uh, my wife's already at the gym at that point. She goes in early from five to six. I get up, I drink some water. I stretch out. Then I go to the gym from six to seven. So is that me time? Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's for me. And then I come back and that's when we get going for the day. So we do family scripture study. We do a little family meeting, just making sure we're all on the same page with regards to sports and other activities and field trips and everything else.

00:17:06.680 That's going on. Then we have breakfast. I, then I go get ready. So is that time only for me? I guess maybe you can consider it that, but what I do. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because I work my, the things that are for me, I work them in throughout the day in a systemized way. And I established those boundaries. So it's, I'm not going to work out at three o'clock in the afternoon because that's when I'm working. I'm not going to take a bunch of calls.

00:17:30.500 And I've turned down hundreds of podcast requests in the evening because I don't, I don't do podcasts in the evening. That's family time. Yeah. So you just established these boundaries. You work in your stuff where you can don't get consumed with like the 50, 50 or the, or whatever percentage it is. Just work your things in, establish healthy boundaries, communicate the boundaries to other people that are going to be impacted by them and, and work the plan.

00:17:56.800 I like it. I like it. And they support, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, Ryan, they support each other. Like Jim's your, your time. Yeah. But is the gym allowing you to show up differently as a father? Is it giving you the energy? Are you setting an example to your children that health, the health and fitness is important? Like even my alone time of books, like half the books I'm reading have to do with becoming a better person and a better parent in some type of way. And so I don't know.

00:18:25.940 Like I have this strong opinion, even at my job here where I tell my team, like work-life balance is not the separation of work and life. They support each other. They benefit each other. Right. And it's not the separation. And I think it's the same, even for your personal time and your family time for that matter.

00:18:42.040 Yeah. You, you can't make a decision in a vacuum. We've talked about that before. You know, if you're making one decision over here in this area of life, that decision is going to echo and spill over into other decisions of your life. And it's going to impact it positively or negatively. I'll tell you what, when I was fat and overweight and out of shape, because I wasn't taking time for myself to go to the gym and eat right and do these things.

00:19:04.000 I was, I was, I was not as capable as a father or a husband when I was that way. So me taking an hour every day and then investing in myself that way has improved my abilities as a father and husband and business owner and everywhere else I'm showing up.

00:19:18.000 Copy. All right. Joe crucial. What is one supplement you cannot live without?

00:19:26.460 I, I could live without any supplements.

00:19:29.120 Oh, okay. What's your favorite supplement that you would prefer not to live without?

00:19:35.140 Um, I don't, Malk, I guess. I mean, I like Malk. I like, I like, is that what he's talking about?

00:19:42.740 I think so. Oh yeah. Like a pre-workout or I don't know.

00:19:45.900 I don't need that. I don't need, I mean, I take, I use Malk. I use the pre-workout discipline, which is really good. And I also use joint warfare, which helps me as I get older and my bones start to stiffen up. It's really weird. Actually, like I was, I, I, one of the things I've started to do lately is, cause this has been a crazy week. A lot of phone calls this week for me. So I have walked for, I think I've done this week, almost eight hours of walking this week.

00:20:14.360 While on your phone calls?

00:20:16.280 While on phone calls. Yeah.

00:20:17.900 And I've noticed today when I was out for a two hour walk this morning, and I'm going to take another two hour walk this afternoon, uh, that my back was hurting. I'm like, what is going on? I'm literally just walking. Like I should not be, my back should not be sore right now.

00:20:33.200 But it is cause I'm getting older. So, uh, I rolled out a little bit. I felt a little better, but yeah, I like, I like Malk. Um, I like the peanut butter one. Um, I like discipline, which is the pre-workout and I like joint warfare.

00:20:46.400 Yeah. And, and this is a, I'm going to segue here, Joe and for everyone else, right? Language is super powerful. So that's why you guys get that immediate response from Ryan. When you say, what is a supplement you cannot live without? He's like, well, I can live with it. You know, like, cause you wrote the word cannot live without. Right.

00:21:03.800 Well, I'm pretty, I'm pretty literal and analytical. Yeah. You're very intentional on the verbiage. So I understand. Well, I understand I could probably be better about that as well, but like, I've always been that way. My wife, uh, she laughs. Like she'll send, she'll ask me to go to the grocery store to get something for her. And I'm like, okay, well tell me exactly what you need. And she's like, well, I need butter. I'm like, okay. So I go to the store and I, it says butter on it. I'm like, here's butter. She's like, well, that's not the right kind. I'm like, well, if you wanted to the right kind, you should have told me specifically what you wanted.

00:21:33.380 You said butter. Is that not butter? Yeah, it's butter. Okay. Well then I met the requirement. So, so I, I realized that is just a personality trait of mine. Uh, so I could probably improve that as well.

00:21:46.440 Yeah. Don't take it personal, Joe. Ryan is a dick to almost everybody.

00:21:53.000 Nice. Nice. Kip.

00:21:55.300 Inappropriate.

00:21:55.960 I, uh, I've, I'm losing some of your volume a little bit. Uh, did you move away from the microphone or adjust it or something?

00:22:00.840 Uh, I don't think so. Maybe I'm just being shy. I don't know. Like, like scoot up to the microphone

00:22:07.360 or turn your microphone up or something. You're really quiet. Okay. I don't know. Is that still

00:22:13.120 quiet? Yeah, a little bit, but that's okay. We'll work through it. Okay. Sorry. Will you yell?

00:22:17.800 Yell as you're asking the questions? Yes. I'll yell. Oh, there you already sound better. Really? Yeah. I don't even,

00:22:24.880 okay. I'm not sure what's going on. Who knows? Okay. Uh, Joe, uh, Alexander Rosen,

00:22:31.300 uh, this is actually, I'm really interested on what, how you're going to respond to this question.

00:22:35.500 Okay. Uh, because I have a feeling that there's some aspect, well, maybe I shouldn't set you up.

00:22:39.500 There's some aspects of this where you're going to disagree with the kind of the, the tone of the

00:22:45.260 question. I, you know what I'm saying? Okay. But let's, let's see, let's see what you come up with

00:22:48.920 here. Let's see what we got. And it's a little bit scattered. So I'm on, I'm, I'm like on the edge of

00:22:54.100 my seat right now. Yeah, I know. I'm setting this up. All right. How do you, how do we begin to teach

00:22:59.140 people that being a man does not have to mean you go to the gym seven days a week or work on cars or

00:23:04.280 build a house that being a man is being, um, is being executed in being real. A real man is being

00:23:13.600 acting on your authentic selfie. It's kind of scattered here. Um, this whole, what manly things

00:23:20.360 are you doing this weekend thing is so toxic to masculinity. It, it is puke worthy and teaching

00:23:26.720 men the wrong message. So let's address that part because what he's referring to is I say, Hey,

00:23:33.120 what are your manly plans this weekend in the Facebook group? I say that every Friday. And so

00:23:36.960 guys post, you know, like I'm, I'm going camping or I'm, I'm going on a daddy daughter date or

00:23:42.440 I've got a hunt or I'm cleaning my car or what, or I'm working, whatever, whatever they're doing.

00:23:47.780 So that to me is harmless. Like anybody who's going to be upset by that ought to have more important

00:23:52.640 things to be upset about. Like if, if you're, if you think it's puke worthy that somebody says

00:23:59.040 manly plans this weekend, like you got bigger things to worry about. Yeah. And correct me if

00:24:03.660 I'm wrong, but it's also your way of saying, Hey, what manly thing are you going to do? Like do

00:24:08.440 something manly. Right. Yeah. And, and contrary to what this, this gentleman maybe makes it sound

00:24:14.580 like he believes is that there are things that are indeed manly sitting around on your ass for four 0.84

00:24:20.020 hours during the weekend and with your hands down your pants, eating a bunch of Cheetos and bonbons

00:24:24.000 is not a manly activity. Yeah. Being out and engaging with your community by coaching a baseball

00:24:31.100 team or working and providing in some capacity or improving your capabilities as, as a defender of

00:24:38.760 yourself and those you have the responsibility for those are manly activities. So people like to get

00:24:45.540 there, they're, they're, they're all upset and all twisted about what people believe is manly and

00:24:52.420 not manly. And some people like to say, well, who are you to define what? Well, I'm not anybody to

00:24:57.700 define it. Masculinity has been defined through thousands and thousands of years of men being on 0.58

00:25:04.180 the planet and having striking similarities between the way that we behave. So there are objective

00:25:11.480 activities that most of us would consider masculine activities. And it doesn't have anything to do

00:25:19.540 with growing a beard or what, what else did he say? Uh, building the house, working out seven days a

00:25:26.820 week, working on cars. Oh no, those are, those are manly activities. Building a house is a masculine 0.93

00:25:33.900 activity. You're using your hands. You're using your mind. You're using your muscles. You're taking raw

00:25:40.280 ingredients and putting them together in a way that serves you and other people working out at the

00:25:46.540 gym and making yourself stronger and more capable. That's a manly activity. Like, I don't know why

00:25:53.700 people get upset when you say that that's manly. It's, it is manly because they're not doing it as

00:26:00.080 well. That's probably why, or they think that they shouldn't have to do it in order to be a man. Well,

00:26:04.920 fine. I mean, you, you can make your decisions and you can decide what you want to engage in or not.

00:26:09.440 Now let's address this authentic self bullshit. Cause this is a huge problem is we have this whole

00:26:17.080 weird misguided trend in society that says, as long as you're true to yourself, that you could be

00:26:24.260 anything and you're special just the way you are. No, you're not. All right. You, you can't live by

00:26:33.560 default and, and, and just be mediocre and complacent and expect that you should be treated

00:26:42.240 like somebody who's excelling and driving and pushing themselves to do and be more like,

00:26:49.220 why in the world would I ever want to be satisfied with who I am? Do I believe I'm, I'm, I have

00:26:56.320 capabilities and I have potential and I'm worthy and that I can be loved and all of these things.

00:27:01.580 Of course, of course, I believe that's not what I'm talking about. But what I'm talking about is I

00:27:06.860 am not satisfied with where the business is. I am not content with my current level of physical

00:27:14.980 fitness. I am not okay with my bank account right now, as it should be. We should all be aspirational.

00:27:25.640 We should all have things that we want to accomplish. And by the way, the things I want

00:27:30.280 to accomplish, I'm not telling you that you need to accomplish those same things.

00:27:34.940 We all, we all manifest this in different ways. What's important and valuable to me is going to

00:27:39.840 be different than what's important and valuable to you. So I'm not saying that you need to have the

00:27:44.220 same goals as me, but you should be aspirational to some degree in some element of your life.

00:27:48.460 And there's nothing wrong or toxic like this guy likes to use with a man who's trying to make

00:27:57.700 himself more manly or be more masculine. Like nobody ever said that, that a, a, a novice pianist,

00:28:06.320 for example, is being toxic because they're practicing piano two days a week and they're trying to become a

00:28:13.360 better pianist or that a football player is being toxic because he goes to practice for three hours

00:28:20.720 a day and practices and then goes into the gym. Like nobody would say that's toxic. Nobody would

00:28:25.960 say that, that a, a, a young man or a woman who's going to college so that they can get a degree and

00:28:32.560 then go out into the workforce and improve themselves and their station in life is behaving in a toxic

00:28:37.140 manner. So it's not toxic for a man to go out and learn how to be more capable as a protector,

00:28:45.140 provider, and presider. It's not toxic for a man to be aspirational. It's not toxic for a man to want

00:28:50.440 to be more manly. If anything, we should be encouraging that and celebrating that because

00:28:54.840 we need more men in society. So yeah, everything about that, what that guy just said is wrong.

00:29:00.960 Yeah. Can I, can I up on this authentic train? Cause I love my word and it's a, it's a, it's so

00:29:08.600 twisted and warped that it's, that's why I understand your definition of it, Kip. And I got to say,

00:29:15.320 like, I appreciate what you say about it, but I'm just telling you it's been, it's been adopted by

00:29:22.160 these, these, these people who just want to make everything warm and fuzzy and utopian in society.

00:29:27.900 And they've distorted what it actually means. Yeah. And, and, and if you don't mind me adding

00:29:32.940 just really quick. So like when, when I say, or when I use that term authentic, it is being self

00:29:40.600 aware of what your thoughts are. It doesn't define who you are, right? Oh, would be your authentic

00:29:48.520 self. No, no, no. You define that. You decide if you're sitting on the couch and being a lazy ass

00:29:54.240 or whatever your actions define you as a man or as a person, not your thought process. When you're

00:30:01.640 saying being authentic, it's being real with your mindset, being aware, being self-aware.

00:30:07.560 And if you don't like what your thought process is, or you don't like what you see when you're

00:30:13.360 being self-aware, then change it. Right. That is not some baseline to say, Oh, well, that's who I am

00:30:19.900 authentically. Thus I'm a victim and I can't change. And that's just the way I am. Like that's

00:30:23.480 complete bullshit. And it makes me so angry when people have that mentality, right? Oh,

00:30:28.540 accept me for the way I am, or that's the way I am. Bullshit. You define that, right? You decide

00:30:33.200 the man you're going to be. And, and, and I agree wholeheartedly with that. And I would also say that

00:30:38.340 I'm not telling you that everybody that in order to be a man, you have to be a Brazilian jujitsu black 0.94

00:30:44.340 belt or that you have to be, yes, or, well, then I'm not a man or that you have to be a mechanic

00:30:51.220 or that you have to be a professional athlete. I don't care if, if, if you want to be a painter

00:30:58.300 or, or an artist or a musician or a politician or a school teacher, I don't care. You can be

00:31:06.320 authentic to that and still be a protector, provider, and presider. Your, your occupation

00:31:11.820 doesn't define you. Your ability to protect, provide, and preside does define you as a man.

00:31:15.940 So go be whatever you want to be and, but just, just do it in accordance with trying to improve

00:31:22.400 yourself as a man. Yeah. And realize that you decide you get to decide that. Right. And if you

00:31:29.180 don't like my definition of masculinity, okay, well create your own then. I don't, I don't care.

00:31:36.020 Like I'm not here to convince people. I think people, I think the naysayers think that it's my

00:31:41.020 job to convince people why I'm right. It's not my job. My job is to share what I believe about

00:31:48.320 myself and about the world. And I realized that it's not truth with a capital T. It's just a

00:31:55.580 perspective that works for me. And my job is not to convince you. If you're convinced, cool. Let's do

00:32:03.060 this together. If you're not convinced, well, go start your own thing. And that's great too. We need

00:32:08.740 all kinds. Totally. All right. Eric Hubbard, your thoughts on weight training with a seven to 13

00:32:16.160 year old boy. I've heard recommendations not to exceed 25 pounds during any particular workout.

00:32:21.320 These aren't scheduled workouts for them just when they want to jump in with dad. I have my own

00:32:26.900 opinions, but I would like everyone else's just curious of what yours are. I don't, I don't really

00:32:31.800 want to answer this question because I don't have enough information, you know, but that being said,

00:32:37.540 I don't think there's anything wrong with a young man exerting himself to a degree. Can he push too

00:32:42.440 hard? Yeah, maybe. I mean, I think that, I think that's going to be highly unlikely that a young man 0.55

00:32:48.840 pushes himself to the point where he becomes hurt or injured. I guess it's possible. Uh, but I'm really

00:32:55.040 not the expert on how much they should be lifting, but my son comes out and lifts with me. In fact, the

00:33:01.080 other day he did a hundred and I think he did 125 pound or 135 pound deadlift and he's 11. Um, he was

00:33:12.120 pretty proud of it. Didn't seem to hurt himself and continues to grow like a weed. So I don't know. I

00:33:18.420 just, I just think you ought to be careful about it and maybe turn to the experts. I'm not the expert on

00:33:22.100 this. So I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I think you're always safe saying do a whole bunch of

00:33:27.920 pull-ups, pushups and you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh yeah. For sure. I mean, you can't ever go wrong

00:33:32.820 with that. Right. Running. If you're worried about it, maybe just go down that direction. Yeah. Running,

00:33:36.660 being involved in competitive sports and you know, just, just being active as a boy. Sure. Yeah.

00:33:42.720 Preston Swanson, how to handle a superior who is self-indulged his orders or something is way off

00:33:51.680 target. I see this a lot in the fire service. You've got leaders that lead from the front and perform

00:33:56.180 every task alongside the ones that they assigned to. Then you've got ones that care for nothing but the

00:34:01.860 shiny things that are on their chest or the different colored lid. When I climb to an officer

00:34:07.140 position, I gave respect to every position I've ever held. I've always looked at it as I

00:34:12.700 always looked at it as they'll either follow you or someone else. What would be some ways to

00:34:18.600 influence some of the rookie mindsets towards said leaders without saying, don't listen to that

00:34:24.040 arrogant ass hat? I would, I would say that you can lead by example, that you don't need a title 0.79

00:34:31.640 to necessarily lead. Uh, and that if you are inspiring these young up and coming, uh, men and women,

00:34:39.120 then they will naturally be inspired by you and, and look to you and be motivated by what you're

00:34:44.820 doing. Uh, I would also say that it's probably as maybe some sort of middle leadership or middle

00:34:51.300 management that it's your responsibility to, uh, keep, you know, mutinies from happening and happening.

00:34:58.220 And I I'm, I'm so keenly aware of drama and so I can reject it and dismiss it. Like I hate the drama.

00:35:06.500 I hate the games. So when people start, you know, backbiting and nitpicking over little things,

00:35:12.240 I might simply say, Hey, you know what? Maybe delivery is a little wrong, but what is it that

00:35:16.820 can be learned? Right. And highlight what these senior leaders have because they do have experience

00:35:22.400 and they do have knowledge and they do have great information. So maybe you just have to be the

00:35:27.200 filter, right? Where you're actually filtering, Hey, he said this and what he means is this. And,

00:35:32.420 and what he said about this is exactly right. And here's why it's so important. We do that.

00:35:36.420 And you be that filter, that mouthpiece that leads these other people a little bit more

00:35:40.340 effectively. Maybe I would say. Yeah. I love it. I mean, what can, what more can you do?

00:35:47.780 Like you can join. Yeah. I mean, you can join in the backbiting and you can get yourself in

00:35:52.060 trouble and create problems. Uh, you, you can, uh, go around the chain of command and get yourself

00:35:58.820 in trouble, or you can just, or you can lead and be effective. And then gradually you'll move into

00:36:04.600 those positions and you can realize that those were negative examples and, uh, examples of things that

00:36:09.380 you don't want to be and do in your own life as a leader. Yeah. And there's more opportunity in you

00:36:14.100 learning from those bad examples. When you come, come from it, from a position of effectiveness and not

00:36:21.460 demonizing, if that makes sense. Yeah. So, I mean, just try to keep an open mind and try to

00:36:25.220 understand the circumstance so you can grow from it at least. Yeah. I mean, there's always,

00:36:29.280 you're always going to have assholes that you're going to have to deal with. And, uh, the best

00:36:32.460 thing you can do is do, do your best and then eventually take their position or let them move

00:36:37.520 on. And that's one thing actually Jocko talks a lot about is like, help them help them. And then

00:36:43.480 when they move on or they're promoted or they get fired, then who's next in line? You are.

00:36:48.100 Yeah. Play that game. That's a game. You got to play it.

00:36:52.220 Eddie Falcon morning and night time, routine ideas and examples. I've started my own a few

00:36:57.060 months back and I'm looking at ways to maximize that time to plan. Also waking up motivated

00:37:01.840 enough to execute that plan. Any ideas or thoughts on that topic would be helpful. Thanks for the work

00:37:07.080 that you do for the community. Yeah. So morning routine, I kind of addressed it a little bit.

00:37:11.240 Uh, number one, wake up at five 30. This is again, this is just mine. All right. I'm not telling you

00:37:15.640 have to do it this way, but I wake up at five 30, a little water, a little bit of stretching gym from

00:37:21.180 six to seven. I come home at seven o'clock. We do family scripture study, uh, family prayer and our

00:37:26.920 family meeting, just making sure we're all on the same page. Then we do breakfast. Then I get ready

00:37:31.120 when I, after I'm done getting ready and the kids are off, I usually get down into the office about

00:37:35.280 eight 30 to nine o'clock, somewhere right in there. And I will do planning for about 20 minutes,

00:37:40.980 15 to 20 minutes is all where I'm planning out my day. Um, I'm reprioritizing from the night before

00:37:46.440 planning out what needs to get done and essentially just getting my mind right for the day. Like this

00:37:50.640 is today, for example, is a marathon day. I really had to get my mind wrapped around everything I

00:37:55.180 need to accomplish today. Uh, so that's my morning routine. Then in the evening, before I leave from

00:38:01.160 work is I go through my plan and see what I got done and try to figure out what I didn't get done

00:38:06.780 and then prioritize for the next day. And I check my calendar again, just to get my mind right about

00:38:11.860 what needs to get accomplished, uh, and then get it all planned out. Uh, anything that comes up

00:38:18.040 regarding business between the time I leave work and the time I go to bed, I will usually either jot

00:38:23.280 that down in my phone or a field notes that I keep in my car or my, my dress or my nightstand.

00:38:29.280 Cause I don't want it bouncing around in my brain. I need to get it out of my brain.

00:38:33.020 So that's what I'll do there. Uh, then in the evening, it's crazy right now. We've got sports

00:38:37.980 and things like that. So usually we have a pretty systematized night routine, but with different

00:38:43.200 ballgames at different times, it's been a challenge, but we get the kids to bed when it's not sports,

00:38:48.920 usually between, I would say seven 30 to eight 30 based on their ages. Uh, then my wife and I have

00:38:57.000 some time, couple hours together, go to bed, try to get them bed about 10 o'clock. And

00:39:02.660 yeah, just turn the electronics off as, as early or as soon as, as much time before bed as possible.

00:39:11.360 Cause that, that impacts you and that affects you go to bed and wake up and start all over.

00:39:17.960 It's nice. It's a system. It works. Yeah. Make it work. That's right. All right. Dan.

00:39:24.960 Oh, he also said one other thing he said is he said, how can you be motivated for the day before

00:39:29.340 the best? Yeah. The best thing I've done for that is that I plan out my day and I get everything as

00:39:35.420 ready as possible. I get as close to ready as I possibly can, which means that the night before

00:39:40.600 I actually look at my workout for the next day. Cause I can start getting my mind wrapped around

00:39:44.420 that. Uh, I get my water, my pre pre-workout, which again is discipline. Like I was talking about

00:39:49.500 earlier, that's already, uh, I get my workout clothes ready and set out where I change in the morning.

00:39:57.020 And that way I'm just, I'm ready to go. So there's no like, Oh, what do I do? Or what

00:40:02.620 am I going to do today? Or what's my plan? It's already been thought about. I've already

00:40:06.580 got it 80% of the way. All I have to do is step into my shoes, get out the door and get

00:40:10.680 to get to the gym. Yeah. Love it. Hey, did you ever, uh, Aubrey Marcus's, did you ever do

00:40:17.440 the morning cocktail? Yeah, I did. Um, with the water and the lemon and the salt and whatever

00:40:23.160 is that? Yeah. I, I did. Um, I don't, I don't know. I just, I just drink a bunch of water.

00:40:31.080 I'm kind of a simple, I'm a pretty simple guy. You know that about me at this point. Anyways,

00:40:35.600 like I don't need a bunch of tricks and hacks and gizmos and gadgets. Like just give me some

00:40:39.860 water. That's what, that's what most of us need. Anyways, give me water in a dumbbell,

00:40:44.160 water in a dumbbell. And that's all I need. Oh, the curls are all that matter. Anyway,

00:40:49.720 curls for the girls. All right. Dan Davies, my girlfriend and I were discussing the order

00:40:55.720 of man flag that hangs up in my room at the university. Well done, Dan. Well done. Well

00:41:01.080 played. And by the way, that's probably why she's over there. Cause she noticed that flag. 0.97

00:41:05.180 That's exactly. We should start a dating service, like an order of man dating service that they go 0.62

00:41:10.420 through these different things. And then women are like, Oh, he's an order of man alumni. I want to 0.58

00:41:14.340 date him. Yeah. He must be a good guy. Yeah, totally. Not a good guy. We don't want to say

00:41:20.580 good guy. Oh, good guy. A toxic. We know, wait, no, I forgot where we want to say capable. He's a

00:41:26.920 capable man, a capable man. Yeah. We don't want a bunch of nice guys running around. That's not

00:41:31.220 what we're after here. Yeah. That's a good point. Mr. Davies with his flag, by the way, what are you

00:41:35.760 doing with the girl in your dorm room? Is that not allowed? I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know.

00:41:41.780 I went to like half a semester of college and lost my scholarship. So I don't know. I don't

00:41:45.800 really know what happens in college. Dan, have you introduced you to your mom? Maybe you should

00:41:50.740 be asking that first. Anyhow, his question, uh, he was curious what inspired the design.

00:41:56.760 Wish you the bull, uh, wish you both the best and hope to see you in the UK sometime soon.

00:42:02.520 I actually have tossed that idea around for later this year, by the way. So I'll keep you,

00:42:08.180 uh, keep you up to date on that. Uh, the axes. I really, I really like the axes because they

00:42:13.340 represent, uh, a tool. I believe that we are better with tools and that we as men ought to be

00:42:19.160 using tools that makes us more effective and efficient. So the ax is a great tool. Uh, I also

00:42:24.740 like the symbolism in that the axes represent something that can not only destroy and tear down,

00:42:31.320 but can also be used to build up and, and to be more productive with and, and create

00:42:36.920 things with. Right. So I think there's a dual meaning in the fact that we, as men have the

00:42:41.960 ability to tear down specifically, when I say tear down, I'm talking about the old version of

00:42:46.440 ourself, right? That we can analyze who we used to be and realize that I want to make myself into

00:42:51.680 something more. Sometimes that requires some serious sacrifice and some serious work in tearing

00:42:56.840 down and dismantling who we once were and then rebuilding ourselves into something that we

00:43:01.780 envision our lives to actually look like. So there's a lot of symbolism in, in the hatchets and

00:43:06.300 the axes and not to mention, they're just considered a manly, a manly tool. Right. Um, but there's,

00:43:13.560 there's so much that goes into it. Like the, the technique of swinging an ax and how you can be more

00:43:18.460 efficient with it and, uh, how it needs to be sharpened, sharpened and the, and the leveraging

00:43:23.620 and the leveraging power of it. I mean, there's so much behind it. So, uh, really liked the,

00:43:29.420 the axes and that's it. Cool. Now, you know why it's not a keyboard and a pen. That's right.

00:43:37.680 Yeah. A little bit more meaning keyboard, keyboard warriors, baby. Yeah. Slashes. And those axes

00:43:44.340 are actually slashes. One's a forward slash and the other one's a backslash. That's a stretch,

00:43:49.600 dude. That's a stretch. Oh, that was impromptu by the way. I just made that up.

00:43:55.760 You're funny. Yeah. Joshua Gerken, when are you going to get Mike Rowe on the show? I'd love to

00:44:01.140 hear that conversation. Five guests you want to, well, five guests you want to book for the podcast.

00:44:08.220 Uh, Mike Rowe has turned me down. Well, not him, but his team has turned me down like five times.

00:44:15.640 Yes. So we're asking everyone to unsubscribe to Mike Rowe's podcast. Yep. Yep. That's exactly

00:44:20.920 right. Uh, as far as who I'd like to get on the show, Mike Rowe is on that list. Of course,

00:44:24.760 JJ Watt is on that show. Jordan Peterson, who we had scheduled multiple times, but those fell through.

00:44:32.640 Uh, who else? Who else? George St. Pierre would be awesome. That'd be so awesome.

00:44:38.140 Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves is definitely on there. Rogan, uh, Ben Shapiro, who we're actually

00:44:43.880 getting close on Ben Shapiro. Yes. Yes. We're getting close on Ben Shapiro. If you meet him

00:44:50.020 in person, you have to let me come listen in. Hmm. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. Please.

00:44:56.000 Please. All right. Deal. Uh, Tim Tebow, I think would be a great guest. Oh yeah. Who else? Steve

00:45:01.840 Rinella. I mean, there's, there's so many guys on here. So many guys. Rich Froning would be cool.

00:45:07.000 Kyle Carpenter. I got a bunch of guys on here. Tim Ferriss, Neil deGrasse Tyson, bunch of guys on here.

00:45:12.180 We haven't covered them all yet. We'll get there. We'll get through them all. It's good.

00:45:18.640 Eventually they'll be beating down my door and, uh, asking when they can come on. Yeah. They're

00:45:24.000 like, how can we get on that? Uh, the slash podcast or whatever those lines are. Yeah. Sorry,

00:45:29.500 Joe Rogan. We don't, we don't have time for you, man. Sorry. Yeah. All right. What else?

00:45:35.120 Scott Anderson, best advice for fighting depression, go get to work. Yeah. Find something

00:45:43.460 that's meaningful. I look, it's easy to say that when you're not depressed, but as best

00:45:47.520 as you can find something that's meaningful, that's significant, that's important to you

00:45:52.120 and go get to work, engage your mind, engage your soul, engage your hands in your back and

00:45:57.580 go get to work. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when you're actively engaged in something

00:46:02.260 that's purpose-driven and something that's significant to you. I'm saying this outside

00:46:06.480 of mental illness, right? If it's serious and there's mental illness or it's, it's ongoing

00:46:12.020 and it's, look, there's a difference between having a bad day and being depressed, right?

00:46:16.940 If you notice yourself that you're clinically depressed or that it's ongoing and it persisting,

00:46:21.400 then you might need some medical help and attention or a therapist to work you through

00:46:25.500 that stuff. Outside of that, go get to work. Yeah. I'm always has, I mean, whenever this,

00:46:32.160 this subject comes up, you know, you don't want to be careful. You know what I mean? In

00:46:37.000 regards to what we say, but, um, you know, history has shown some of the most impactful people

00:46:43.720 in our society were considered depressed and, and sometimes there's lessons to be learned

00:46:49.600 in those moments of depression. So I, if, if I had to give a thought, it is, don't beat yourself up

00:46:56.860 either that you're a little depressed, right? Like there's a time in the season, right? And, uh,

00:47:03.040 and, and there's things to learn. And, and, and, and one of the things that you mentioned too,

00:47:07.120 Ryan, that I thought was really profound is purpose-driven often. What does that mean for a

00:47:12.480 lot of people to have purpose-driven life or to do things that have purpose? Well, a lot of that is

00:47:18.060 service and it's about helping other people and lifting up others. And, um, you can't help,

00:47:25.560 but feel better about yourself and about what your life is about when you're providing huge value for

00:47:30.480 others. Yep, exactly. I would also add Kip, uh, go outside and get some vitamin D. I think that's

00:47:37.980 good for people. And a lot of times we're so like, we're, we're stuck in these cubicles and these boxes

00:47:42.240 that it's easy to be depressed. So go outside. Uh, and then other, one other thing is I would say,

00:47:47.420 get yourself around good people, just be around good people that uplift you, that laugh with you,

00:47:52.480 that have cool conversations. Uh, that, that always has been very helpful for me as well.

00:47:58.560 And I like it in the context of, of men getting together when we're actively engaged in a competition

00:48:04.920 or, uh, against a common enemy for lack of better term. So we're, we're banded together to

00:48:12.700 do something that's challenging and we're facing some sort of adversary or hardship like a Spartan

00:48:18.000 race, for example, would be, would be a great example. It's not like a necessarily an enemy,

00:48:21.680 but it is a challenge that you're working together in, uh, or, or competing against each other.

00:48:27.860 Cause there's a lot of banter and positivity that comes with that as well.

00:48:31.760 Yeah. Cool. Christopher Presley is family history important to you. I know you both are LDS and they

00:48:38.360 run the family history library. It's interesting to learn about where you come from and the struggles

00:48:43.380 of the people before us. Yeah. Yeah. I think it is important. We actually addressed this earlier,

00:48:48.760 uh, when it came to, uh, passing on your family name, but I think it's good to know where you came

00:48:53.640 from and where the family name comes from and how your, your, uh, ancestors, uh, live their lives

00:49:00.640 and the challenges and the hardships that they went through and the adversity and the things that

00:49:04.220 they overcame. Um, one of the things that's in my ancestry is, uh, I believe it's my, let me think

00:49:11.080 about this. It's my great, great grandfather ran a brewery and he built this amazing brewery and he

00:49:20.600 built it with his father and his two brothers and his father died. So that would be my great, great,

00:49:25.860 great grandfather died in a fire in an explosion where he saved a, I can't remember if it was a young

00:49:34.000 girl or a young boy, uh, in this, in this brewery that they built. And then when their father died,

00:49:39.820 my great, great, great grandfather, uh, then he passed it to his sons and then they went on to

00:49:46.140 continue the legacy and eventually went on to sell it. And I've got pictures and things like that.

00:49:49.880 Like hearing those kinds of stories, I don't know why it is, but it, it just ties you into something

00:49:55.460 greater. And it lets you know that you come from something, you know, and, and maybe it's not,

00:50:02.100 maybe there's some negative or dark history in your past. And even that is good to know,

00:50:06.140 because it helps you see that we could go that route if we're not careful and to avoid above it.

00:50:12.240 Exactly. Or that we can make, make our name mean something. And I, and we talked about that earlier

00:50:17.180 is it's just noises. It's just scribbles on a piece of paper. It's the meaning that we give it

00:50:23.160 and we can find meaning in the past and we can recreate meaning if we choose to do that as well.

00:50:28.400 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Last question. Yeah. Mr. John Gilliland. Excellent. Topics. Do you guys

00:50:36.200 consider off limits? Um, I don't consider anything off limits. The last chapter of no more Mr. Nice

00:50:44.900 Guy that is off limits. I don't, I don't understand. Remember? No. Do you remember that? No. Okay.

00:50:50.740 I'll tell you later. No. Now you have to tell me. No. Well, whenever I love that book, as you know,

00:50:57.760 um, and we, and we, we talk about it quite a bit in the iron council, but whenever I recommend it to

00:51:02.560 someone like the entire last chapter is on masturbation. So I'm always like, uh, well,

00:51:07.420 it's a really great book, but that last chapter, you know, you know, you can skip that one.

00:51:11.960 Well, it's just an, it's just uncomfortable, but it's not off limits, right?

00:51:15.800 Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. I mean, I think it's important. We discuss all of these things,

00:51:19.740 whether it's masturbation or pornography or drug use or politics, religion.

00:51:29.220 Did you name it? Like, I think we got to talk about it.

00:51:32.120 Okay. So what a topic of something unrelated to masculinity would be considered off topic,

00:51:37.480 maybe a waste of our time a little bit.

00:51:39.280 I wouldn't say he, so he said off limits. I wouldn't say it's off limits, but it's just

00:51:45.620 not relevant to the discussion. Yeah. Okay. There you go, John. Nothing's off limits, man.

00:51:50.300 Like for example, like I'm probably not going to talk a whole lot about professional sports.

00:51:55.020 I don't follow professional sports and I don't really think there's much to be said about,

00:51:59.100 I mean, I think there's lessons for sure. And I think there's inspiration there, but

00:52:02.520 it's not like a big focus of ours, but it's not off limits or anything.

00:52:06.400 Yeah. Poor jazz, jazz loss, man.

00:52:10.400 That means nothing to me because I don't know if they're good or bad or what.

00:52:15.620 I, uh, I, my, my son's baseball, my oldest son's baseball team is the Red Sox. And my mom sent me

00:52:24.180 a big, a Red Sox shirt with a big B, like as big as possibly could be. And I'm like, man,

00:52:30.160 I love this shirt. Cause it's just going to piss so many people off.

00:52:33.300 Yeah. Cause a lot of you, you love the Red Sox or you hate them, right? A lot of people hate them.

00:52:37.260 Oh yeah. Like there's no middle ground. Anyways, I wore this shirt to his game, uh, a couple of

00:52:43.220 weeks ago and we got slaughtered. So I'm never wearing that shirt again. It's bad luck.

00:52:48.740 It's bad luck. That's what it was for sure. Well, baseball is pretty superstitious. Superstitious.

00:52:54.740 So yeah, that's funny. Cool. All right. Well, we got through them all. It sounds like,

00:53:00.400 yeah, let's, uh, let's call it a day. Yeah. Sounds good. So, I mean, we mentioned this earlier,

00:53:05.020 but guys, if you want to submit your questions to the AMA episode of the order of man podcast,

00:53:09.800 you can do so by joining us on Facebook at facebook.com slash group slash order of man,

00:53:15.980 or you can get on the court in life, stop sitting in the sidelines and watching other people getting

00:53:21.580 after it and join us in the iron council. And you can learn more about the iron council at

00:53:26.020 order of man.com slash iron council. And as always, you can follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter

00:53:32.740 at Ryan Mickler. And then for order of man swag as a way to kind of support the movement.

00:53:39.080 We talk about this all the time, but you know, every so often you make eye contact with another

00:53:43.080 guy that recognizes the logo and you, you do a little nod and you're like, yep, he's on the same

00:53:47.840 path. And so if you want to represent, you can get your shirts, hats, flags, and decals,

00:53:53.580 and the flags will guaranteed more girls will come to your dorm room. If you have a flag. 1.00

00:53:57.680 Absolutely. Or we talk about this a lot too, the battle planner, uh, or the battle plan,

00:54:03.520 and you can get the new and approved 12 week battle planner at the store as well. And that's

00:54:09.620 store.orderofman.com. Yes, sir. I think we got her. All right, guys. Appreciate you. Keep,

00:54:15.680 keep, keep bringing those questions. A lot of good questions today. Um, it took us three times to

00:54:19.760 actually get through it all with some technology, um, some problems that we were having, but, uh,

00:54:24.240 really appreciate you being on this journey and asking these questions. And look, here's the deal.

00:54:27.900 If you've got a question, then it's safe to assume there's probably other millions of men who have

00:54:33.060 similar questions. And when you ask these questions, it's actually a way for you to

00:54:36.500 contribute as well, because you're bringing these up and we're having these important discussions. So

00:54:40.680 I appreciate you being engaged that way. And I would also ask as far as engagement goes, please

00:54:45.600 subscribe, uh, please share this podcast, leave a rating and review. If you haven't goes a long way in

00:54:50.980 helping promote the visibility. And of course the, the movement and the mission of order of man.

00:54:55.200 So guys, we'll let you get going until Friday for our Friday field notes, but to go out there,

00:54:59.540 take action, become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

00:55:03.580 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:55:08.360 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - May 01, 2019

Avoid Burnout, Passing on Your Family Name, and Balancing Family and Personal Priorities ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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