Order of Man - Avoiding Burnout, Inspiring Yourself, and Balancing Satisfaction and Ambition ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.280 What's going on, man? Glad to be back for another round of Ask Me Anything.

00:00:28.200 Hey, it's good to be here, sir.

00:00:30.300 Yeah, we got a busy week, right?

00:00:32.440 We do have a busy week. I'm kind of fussing my ass here at the office saying, 0.97

00:00:36.520 oh, I'm going to take off for two days later for some, I don't know, man stuff up the mountains. 0.97

00:00:41.820 Man and boy stuff.

00:00:43.120 Yeah, we've got our legacy event coming up on Thursday of this week.

00:00:46.940 So tomorrow, actually, we're getting things started.

00:00:49.840 And I just checked the weather. We're supposed to have rain and maybe even snow this weekend.

00:00:54.920 Which I told the guys, I said, you know, I've been in the scouting program for probably about 10 years now.

00:01:03.060 And it's miserable in the moment.

00:01:05.500 But that misery is the thing that the boys remember and love most about these adventures.

00:01:11.180 Yeah, totally.

00:01:11.740 And it's almost just to guarantee that something's going to go wrong, whether it be weather or gear or something.

00:01:18.600 Well, it has to. That's part of the deal, right?

00:01:21.140 But yeah, such is life. Yeah.

00:01:23.440 Well, guys, if you don't know what we're doing here, this is obviously an Ask Me Anything where Kip and I are fielding questions from our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:01:32.980 By the way, I've got a great topic next month for the Iron Council.

00:01:36.420 We're going to be discussing Iron John, the book Iron John that breaks down the story titled Iron John.

00:01:43.620 And the discussion is going to be all around what has been dubbed the wild man.

00:01:48.500 So it should be pretty cool next month.

00:01:49.720 So guys, if you're excited, yeah, dude, it's going to be good.

00:01:52.060 How do I sign up? How do I sign up? What's this thing called Iron Council, right?

00:01:54.920 Yeah, if you don't know what it is and you want to know more about it and Kip, you want to lock in your spot, then head to orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:02:01.240 You can do that there.

00:02:02.680 I'm doing it right now.

00:02:03.700 Good, good. We need you.

00:02:06.880 All right. So we're fielding questions from the Iron Council.

00:02:09.120 And then we're also fielding questions from our Facebook group.

00:02:12.740 So I think you are stocked up on questions.

00:02:15.820 I think we've got a backlog at this point now of questions, so we'll probably have to use this for the next couple of weeks.

00:02:20.820 And some of these we might filter out, guys.

00:02:22.560 So it's not really ask me anything.

00:02:24.300 It's like ask me something intelligent.

00:02:26.860 No, no, no.

00:02:27.480 It's ask me anything, but it doesn't.

00:02:29.440 I never said that I would answer anything.

00:02:31.640 Copy.

00:02:32.360 Copy. 0.99

00:02:32.820 So if it's stupid, we're just not going to answer it. 0.99

00:02:34.760 You can ask it. 1.00

00:02:35.360 You can do whatever you want.

00:02:36.240 We just may not answer it.

00:02:39.300 I'm sure they're pretty good. 0.99

00:02:40.240 At the end of the day, don't be dumb. 1.00

00:02:41.820 Don't be stupid. 1.00

00:02:42.740 That's right. 1.00

00:02:43.520 It's John Wayne's quote.

00:02:44.740 What is it?

00:02:45.160 Life is hard. 1.00

00:02:45.860 It's harder when you're stupid. 1.00

00:02:47.840 Totally. 1.00

00:02:48.260 Which is one of my favorite quotes.

00:02:49.520 All right.

00:02:49.800 Let's get into it, man.

00:02:50.600 What do we got here?

00:02:51.640 All right.

00:02:52.080 So like you mentioned already, Iron Council guys, first question, good old Bubba Downs.

00:02:57.820 What is the live event schedule for 2020 and how can we help make it happen?

00:03:03.240 I think there's a little bit of undertone here, Bubba, saying, hey.

00:03:05.840 Let's get going.

00:03:07.020 Yeah.

00:03:07.260 Let's get some face time.

00:03:08.660 Let's get some meetups going.

00:03:10.380 What does it look like?

00:03:11.860 As of right now, nothing.

00:03:13.720 And the only reason is, is because you guys know I've talked about this for months now.

00:03:17.860 We've got a big move across the country coming up in the next 30 to 45 days.

00:03:21.620 So once we get there, we'll be a little bit more settled in and we can figure out what exactly

00:03:25.840 we want to do.

00:03:26.900 But I envision later this year doing a meetup.

00:03:30.700 It's probably going to be a two day meetup.

00:03:32.120 It'll be one day with Iron Council guys and then another day with Order of Man guys in Maine

00:03:36.480 at my property out there.

00:03:40.300 Maybe another legacy event.

00:03:42.940 That's into 2020.

00:03:44.940 I also have a new event that I want to run.

00:03:48.220 I don't think I've told anybody about this called Initiation.

00:03:52.040 And this is a very similar event to the Uprising.

00:03:55.820 So it's for men only, not their boys this time, just men only.

00:03:59.040 And it's going to be significantly harder.

00:04:01.300 It's an initiation into manhood.

00:04:03.680 So it's, it's pretty cool.

00:04:05.040 I've got some good stuff planned.

00:04:06.220 That'll probably get into 2020.

00:04:08.280 That sounds fun.

00:04:09.800 It's not going to be fun.

00:04:10.900 It's going to be hell on earth.

00:04:12.500 Well, when you're done, you're going to feel good about it.

00:04:15.140 All right.

00:04:15.920 Next question.

00:04:16.800 David Yancey.

00:04:17.680 My daughter, 20, 20 years old asks, how would you describe a toxic relation to a toxic relationship

00:04:24.760 to a young woman who say, so who is asking him?

00:04:29.880 So David's, uh, daughter that's 20 years, 20 years old is asking, how would you describe

00:04:36.620 a toxic relationship to a young woman?

00:04:38.780 I see.

00:04:39.340 Okay.

00:04:40.420 Um, man, that's, that's pretty broad.

00:04:43.760 I w I would just say one in which doesn't push you forward.

00:04:46.900 If it's pushing you backwards and not moving where you want to go, then it could potentially

00:04:50.540 be toxic, right?

00:04:51.880 Because toxic is, you think of venom, you think of poisonous and what does that do?

00:04:56.180 That disrupts and disorients and potentially even kills.

00:04:59.420 So any behavior that is going to push the relationship in a negative position or push

00:05:05.820 it backwards and not propel and enhance it forward.

00:05:08.200 If it's not healthy, then it's, then it's toxic.

00:05:11.520 I don't know if I can give you specifics.

00:05:13.320 Obviously, if there's abuse, physical, emotional, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, then that's certainly

00:05:19.160 toxic.

00:05:19.720 Um, but I think more nuanced is any behavior at all that is pushing the relationship in

00:05:25.360 the wrong, in the wrong way.

00:05:27.340 Yeah.

00:05:28.500 And, and look, we all bring baggage to the table, right?

00:05:32.060 So just because you have baggage, uh, or some things that you maybe need to work through

00:05:36.700 doesn't mean the relationship is toxic.

00:05:39.280 There might be some toxic behavior that needs to be learned and worked through, but it doesn't,

00:05:44.680 doesn't necessarily make the relationship toxic.

00:05:46.940 So be careful of just taking one situation or pattern or behavior, not, I shouldn't say

00:05:54.860 pattern, but one behavior and just applying it broadly over the relationship because those

00:06:00.240 things are learned.

00:06:00.860 And in fact, I think that's why relationships are so powerful.

00:06:03.320 I had the opportunity to, uh, marry a friend of mine this past weekend and I told him and

00:06:09.600 his, his wife about how powerful relationships are and that they're challenging in a good way,

00:06:15.800 that they're challenging you to become a better man and a woman to become a better woman.

00:06:19.560 So relationships are, are, are, are challenging by their very nature, but it's great.

00:06:25.640 That's, that's kind of the point.

00:06:26.880 We need to be pushing ourselves to improve.

00:06:28.980 Yeah.

00:06:29.680 It's amazing how much that one aspect of mindfulness and like self-reflection is at the very center

00:06:39.140 of addressing any toxicness, you know what I mean?

00:06:43.040 Like, like any relationship that I could have with someone, as long as they're open-minded enough

00:06:49.980 to realize and have a growth mindset, then you can address things, right?

00:06:55.200 But if that one thing does not exist, it's like you're stuck with what you have, you know?

00:07:00.320 Yeah.

00:07:01.220 I've really focused on the word intentionality over the past several little while, because

00:07:05.880 it's critical that we learn to become more intentional about who we are, who we want to

00:07:09.940 become and, and the best pattern or the best route to be able to accomplish that.

00:07:14.280 Yeah.

00:07:15.040 Hmm.

00:07:15.500 Good question.

00:07:16.420 Yeah.

00:07:16.580 So Aaron, Aaron goats, um, he says in the spirit of embracing change, uh, what are ways

00:07:22.640 we can teach our young children, how to become more resilient and how to deal with this comfort.

00:07:27.860 My wife and I have been blessed to provide a comfortable, low stress life for our children

00:07:32.280 two and four, but I feel like too much of that lifestyle can have a negative impact on them

00:07:37.080 in the longterm.

00:07:38.220 I'm not suggesting we make them dive into 30, 33 degree, uh, water, um, a law Goggins,

00:07:45.340 but maybe there are some small safe activities we can have them engage in that will allow them

00:07:50.240 to get out of their comfort zones, or perhaps we need to wait until they are older and engage

00:07:55.040 in such activities.

00:07:56.680 No, I, I think you kind of answered the question in, in the question itself.

00:08:00.780 You, you just, how do you embrace change?

00:08:02.860 You know, kids are resilient, right?

00:08:05.140 They're, they don't know any different.

00:08:07.040 So if your pattern and the way that you, your, your finance or your family dynamic works

00:08:12.420 is that it's comfortable, it's complacent, it's path of least resistance.

00:08:16.340 There's no challenge.

00:08:18.040 Then that's what they become accustomed to because that's life.

00:08:21.720 If on the other hand, you are adventurous and you're taking risks and you're talking about

00:08:26.640 these types of conversations and you're encouraging and cheering on and fostering when a child doesn't

00:08:32.940 necessarily succeed, but that they try something new.

00:08:35.920 So you want to encourage that behavior.

00:08:38.380 If that's how your fight, your family dynamic works, then the kids don't know any different.

00:08:45.500 So you need to go on camp outs.

00:08:47.300 You need to go on adventures.

00:08:48.200 You need to encourage them to do things that are scary.

00:08:51.260 Whether that's something as simple as trying a new food at the dinner table, which is something

00:08:55.000 that we do, like our kids have to try things.

00:08:57.100 When we go out to eat, I, I try new things.

00:09:00.280 Like I was in, um, in new Orleans this past weekend and I'd never had alligator.

00:09:06.060 So I tried that because like you're trying new things, right?

00:09:09.180 And we encourage that in our kids as well.

00:09:10.940 And because we encourage that on small things like trying new foods and going on adventures

00:09:14.960 and going on a hike or trying to get lost in the woods, they don't know any different.

00:09:19.160 And that's just what life is.

00:09:20.540 So yeah, introduce that stuff as often, as much as you possibly can.

00:09:24.540 Yeah.

00:09:24.800 And I like what you said, Ryan, in the sense that it's how you, it's your lifestyle that

00:09:29.860 sets this up.

00:09:30.780 It's not like, okay, let's come up with a game plan to build resilience into our kids.

00:09:34.720 No, actually, guess what?

00:09:36.560 Be a little bit more gritty as a family, do stressful things, go on hard hikes, go on those

00:09:42.620 backpacking trips, like, and I was thinking 30 degree water.

00:09:45.760 I'm like, well, that's not that bad.

00:09:47.400 You know, like try ever since my kids were little, you know, first snowfall, we actually

00:09:51.760 go outside in our underwear and lay down in the snow.

00:09:54.060 I love it.

00:09:55.040 Why?

00:09:55.520 I have no idea why.

00:09:57.600 It doesn't matter why.

00:09:58.700 It's just something new.

00:09:59.620 It's something a little crazy.

00:10:01.140 You're not, you know, something you're maybe not quote unquote supposed to do.

00:10:04.600 It's, it's good.

00:10:05.380 It's all good stuff.

00:10:06.720 Yeah.

00:10:07.200 Yeah.

00:10:07.660 Just maybe make your, but I love Aaron's question though, because like at the root of, in fact,

00:10:12.220 I was just talking to someone about this last week and how it's funny when I look at my

00:10:17.200 life, it's, you know, I was, I was raised on a dairy farm in, in central Utah, um, and,

00:10:23.920 and kind of a, you know, a, a more than, uh, a gritty lifestyle, right.

00:10:29.500 Compared to standards nowadays.

00:10:32.140 And, um, my dad taught me the importance of hard work and, um, and I found value in hard

00:10:39.300 work.

00:10:39.600 Like I found purpose and direction and, and, and you know what I'm meaning in hard work.

00:10:44.720 Yeah.

00:10:45.080 And it's ironic is as you get older, you think, okay, why pay the price for those things?

00:10:50.020 And so now I'm going to live a comfortable life, a more comfortable life.

00:10:53.620 And I'm not going to work as hard and I'm not going to do these things.

00:10:56.080 My work looks different and, and those kinds of things.

00:10:58.600 But, and at the cost of that is what our children having immediate gratifications and everything

00:11:05.920 that they do, but do you really think to work themselves?

00:11:08.800 Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you.

00:11:10.240 No, no, no.

00:11:10.720 Go ahead.

00:11:11.300 No, no.

00:11:11.660 I was just going to say, do you really think somebody who grows up though, like, like hard

00:11:15.360 work like that is actually going to take it easy?

00:11:17.720 I don't see that being the case.

00:11:19.440 Well, I think most, I think some people do, right?

00:11:21.900 Like they put their time in.

00:11:23.220 Yeah.

00:11:23.460 And, and I think we get comfortable as we get older and think, Hey, we're going to live

00:11:27.520 more comfortable lives at the detriment of our children.

00:11:31.060 And I think it doesn't benefit them.

00:11:32.700 Like in the grand scheme of things, and this may sound really crazy and harsh for some people,

00:11:37.440 but if you really want the best for your kids, it's probably move out of the city and

00:11:42.000 get on a farm and put in them to work.

00:11:44.520 Yeah.

00:11:45.020 Like that's probably the best for your kids.

00:11:46.900 Now it's not as enjoyable for you, but, but that's the best case scenario, but we're

00:11:53.220 unwilling to do that, right?

00:11:54.160 Cause we don't want, we don't want to do it.

00:11:55.780 We'll go through that hard work anymore, you know, or that type of work anymore, at

00:11:59.140 least not me anyway.

00:12:00.400 So we have to be very creative to create that environment that allows them to learn grit

00:12:05.440 and resilience in my opinion.

00:12:07.180 Yeah, no, for sure.

00:12:08.140 You have to create that.

00:12:09.180 Absolutely.

00:12:10.420 Hmm.

00:12:11.120 All right.

00:12:11.500 I got on the soapbox there.

00:12:12.360 Sorry.

00:12:13.620 Jor-El Gilbert, how do you set, uh, set as the base level of fitness for yourself and

00:12:19.860 what do you do to achieve that fitness level?

00:12:23.220 I don't have a base level of fitness because a base level is, I mean, there's foundational

00:12:28.120 principles, right?

00:12:29.440 But I, so yeah, is he suggesting just like a bare minimum of what you do, like establishing

00:12:34.640 what a bare minimum from a fitness perspective?

00:12:36.980 I just work out every single day.

00:12:40.620 That's it.

00:12:41.220 Like guys, we don't need to complicate everything.

00:12:43.120 Just work out.

00:12:44.380 Just go into the gym for an hour every day.

00:12:47.180 That's it.

00:12:47.720 And the cool thing about that is when you get proficient enough in a certain weight,

00:12:51.120 let's say, then increase your weight.

00:12:55.160 Does there's nothing else to it?

00:12:57.300 Yeah.

00:12:58.300 And if you feel like you're, you've plateaued or you feel like, you know, you got this,

00:13:03.420 then do something that's harder.

00:13:06.180 You know, running, for example, I don't, I don't particularly enjoy running, but I run

00:13:09.840 three to four times a week outside of my workouts.

00:13:13.460 I still work out every day and I run three to four times a week.

00:13:17.280 Why?

00:13:18.260 Because I know I can, and I know I can push myself further and I have a desire to do that.

00:13:22.940 But we don't have to, we don't have to complicate it.

00:13:24.820 I think we do that too often.

00:13:25.880 We just, we complicate everything.

00:13:27.480 It's like, no, just go work out every day and you'll be fine.

00:13:31.500 Yeah.

00:13:32.200 I don't know.

00:13:32.880 Is he looking for something else you think?

00:13:35.480 No, I think maybe I, I, I'm assuming maybe that what he means by base level of fitness is,

00:13:43.360 is what your ultimate goal is.

00:13:45.300 Maybe there, there is no.

00:13:46.920 Ultimate goal.

00:13:48.200 Yeah.

00:13:48.480 For you, it's just, Hey, keep grinding, keep.

00:13:50.840 Right.

00:13:51.240 Not grinding, but keep working out, keep improving.

00:13:53.400 Yeah.

00:13:53.720 There's, there's no ultimate goal with anything.

00:13:56.880 You know, like, like I have no ultimate goal.

00:13:59.360 Like once I hit this, I'm like, Oh, I'm good.

00:14:01.660 Check that off the list.

00:14:02.660 No.

00:14:03.240 Yeah.

00:14:03.680 There's not a thing I can think about that that would be the case.

00:14:07.520 Yeah.

00:14:08.000 Well, and if it is, what would happen?

00:14:09.880 What would happen if you reach your ultimate fitness goal?

00:14:12.240 And then you're like, all right, got it done.

00:14:14.060 Then what would happen four months later?

00:14:17.580 I, you'd lose what you did, right?

00:14:20.340 If you, if you weren't constantly improving and continually doing it and pushing yourself,

00:14:24.460 then you're, you're digressing, right?

00:14:26.120 Yeah.

00:14:26.500 Yeah.

00:14:26.900 I mean, it's, um, yeah, it, this one isn't a complicated thing to me.

00:14:32.420 It's like, there's no baseline.

00:14:33.960 There's no base level.

00:14:35.040 You just work out every day when you feel like you, you're strong enough, then you put

00:14:40.120 more weight on, you run a little faster, you train a little harder, you mix things up,

00:14:44.580 you do something maybe you're, you aren't familiar with.

00:14:46.720 You just go, just go.

00:14:50.060 That's it.

00:14:50.600 Just go.

00:14:51.300 Just be happy Gilbert that you got Ryan give you a response other than the answer battle

00:14:57.540 plan.

00:14:58.420 So that's good.

00:14:59.100 That is true.

00:14:59.840 Well, battle plan is not going to do anything for your fitness.

00:15:03.700 Make sure you show up at the gym.

00:15:05.020 Maybe.

00:15:05.840 Well, that even is not going to do anything.

00:15:08.560 I know guys that go to the gym and looks like based on Instagram, all they do is click

00:15:12.240 pictures of themselves in the mirror.

00:15:13.520 Like, dude, the hell are you doing?

00:15:15.740 Like go in that squat rack and do some squats. 0.94

00:15:18.160 Stop taking pictures of yourself.

00:15:20.280 So this is that mentality of like showing up is half the battle. 1.00

00:15:23.680 Showing up is shit. 1.00

00:15:25.340 So what? 1.00

00:15:25.960 You got there.

00:15:26.540 Okay.

00:15:26.840 Well, and like if I went to a Spartan race and I'm like, Hey guys, I'm, I'm here at the

00:15:31.820 starting line.

00:15:32.580 Is that half the battle?

00:15:33.820 No, the battle hasn't even begun yet.

00:15:35.360 Like it's showing up is not enough.

00:15:39.780 Like you've got to do it.

00:15:43.040 That is all.

00:15:43.880 Yeah.

00:15:44.580 All right.

00:15:45.960 Tom King.

00:15:46.800 Well, how satisfied are you with the success you have achieved so far in order of a man?

00:15:51.440 And how do you balance ambition versus contentment?

00:15:54.760 These are, these are really interesting.

00:15:56.460 This question.

00:15:57.240 I like this question and it's really always hard for me to define.

00:15:59.940 Like, I don't know what the difference is or what distinction I should make between

00:16:03.780 contentment, which you used and satisfaction, which you used and complacency, which has

00:16:08.740 a negative connotation, ambition.

00:16:11.120 I like it.

00:16:11.520 These, these are, it's hard to define for me.

00:16:13.360 I'm never satisfied.

00:16:15.800 I'm, I'm, I'm glad that we've accomplished what we've accomplished with order of man,

00:16:20.140 but I'm certainly not satisfied with it.

00:16:21.840 Cause if I was satisfied with it, then I would just stop.

00:16:24.140 That's kind of the point we talked about in the last question.

00:16:26.440 Right?

00:16:27.120 Yeah.

00:16:27.360 So I'm, I'm happy.

00:16:29.720 I'm, I'm glad I'm fulfilled.

00:16:32.640 I like what we've accomplished.

00:16:34.080 And when I have some sort of benchmark, for example, 10 million downloads on the podcast,

00:16:37.620 when I hit that benchmark, I was glad for like 30 seconds.

00:16:41.420 And then I'm like, okay, well now what?

00:16:44.920 Like I've already accomplished that.

00:16:47.420 So now what can I do to push the needle even further to give myself that much more of an

00:16:53.740 advantage and really create what it is that I want to create in my life.

00:16:59.180 So there is no, there's no sense of arrival.

00:17:04.420 There's no sense of satisfaction for very long.

00:17:06.620 And it's always about what's next, what's next, what's next.

00:17:10.200 Yeah.

00:17:11.100 I like that.

00:17:12.780 All right.

00:17:13.560 Dan Delario.

00:17:14.800 Dan Delario, I'm an assistant coach for my daughter's lacrosse team.

00:17:18.460 She's nine to 10 years, nine to 10 years old.

00:17:22.200 Most girls this age don't have that killer instinct that boys their age do when it comes

00:17:26.880 to sports competitions.

00:17:28.360 Any suggestions for getting these girls to be more aggressive during competition? 1.00

00:17:33.120 I like that.

00:17:33.800 I don't know if boys are even quite there yet.

00:17:36.760 Because right now I've got, I've got fifth grade.

00:17:39.600 Yeah.

00:17:39.960 Yeah.

00:17:40.440 I've got my, my son's 11.

00:17:42.300 And my oldest son is 11 and he doesn't really have the fire.

00:17:46.960 He's had the fire over the past, I would say year or two maybe.

00:17:50.740 But it's just, it's just turned on recently.

00:17:53.440 So it's actually really hard.

00:17:54.820 And then you have varying personalities, right?

00:17:57.140 Some people, whether it's boys or girls are just, they just get fired up and that's what

00:18:00.900 they do.

00:18:01.260 And others, others don't.

00:18:02.640 So what I think you need to do is you need to look at each player individually and ask

00:18:06.320 yourself, why is this individual here?

00:18:08.700 Why are they here?

00:18:10.700 Because if you can figure out why a person on your team, whether it's a nine-year-old

00:18:14.460 or a 30-year-old is on a team participating in an activity, then you can play to the reason

00:18:21.820 that they're there.

00:18:22.660 And because that's a strongly identified why, then you can train and coach them in a way

00:18:28.560 that leads them to their ultimate objective for being there.

00:18:31.140 So I know it sounds like it might be too advanced for a nine and a 10-year-old, but I don't

00:18:36.900 think it is.

00:18:37.840 I think everybody is out there for a reason.

00:18:40.660 And if you can find out through asking questions, what that reason is, and then help move them

00:18:45.580 towards that reason, you're going to see something light up.

00:18:48.580 Maybe that didn't light up before it's, it is a challenge when, because you have personalities

00:18:53.320 and these kids are at home and their parents are talking with them, of course, and that's

00:18:59.160 a good thing, but they may have a different perspective about the way they compete.

00:19:02.160 And so you're a very small part of their life right now.

00:19:04.980 And especially at that age, it's not real competitive either.

00:19:07.500 It can be if you're on a competitive league.

00:19:10.080 But a lot of times it might just be a city league and people are just throwing their kids

00:19:14.060 in there because they think that's what they're supposed to do.

00:19:16.120 And then you've got these kids who don't really want to be there, don't know how to work

00:19:19.060 and their parents aren't supporting them at home.

00:19:21.160 You got to find a way to light these kids up through understanding them individually.

00:19:24.460 And I think you'll be able to serve them a little bit better.

00:19:26.640 Ryan, what are your thoughts on, on kind of creating competition within the team itself?

00:19:32.720 Oh, for sure.

00:19:33.440 Creating drills for their, so they're competitive with their teammates.

00:19:37.180 Not just drills.

00:19:37.780 As part of the practice.

00:19:38.720 Yeah.

00:19:38.980 Cause drills, look, I mean, you hear that and like nobody wants to do drills, but if you're

00:19:43.200 competing.

00:19:43.600 So one of the things that I do every year with baseball is on the very first practice,

00:19:49.180 and then we do it a couple of times throughout the year, but on the very first practice, what

00:19:53.320 I have our kids do is I line them up on home plate in a single file line.

00:19:57.300 And then I have them go one at a time, all the way around the bases, because I keep track

00:20:03.780 of the, of the time to see which kid runs the fastest.

00:20:07.740 And then what I do is I have them.

00:20:10.800 So I have them all go.

00:20:12.180 And then I have them go a second time.

00:20:13.800 And I say, who thinks they're the fastest one on the field?

00:20:16.140 And I usually have about three to five kids and the other kids know they're not as fast.

00:20:20.580 So I'm like, all right, we're going to have the guys who think they're the fastest go

00:20:22.920 again.

00:20:23.720 And then what I need you to do, the guys who don't think they're the fastest, I want you

00:20:27.940 to pick, pick your pony, meaning you tell me who you think is going to be the fastest.

00:20:33.400 And so I have the kids who aren't running, go with who they think is the fastest.

00:20:37.460 And then the kids run around and whoever's the fastest and the person who, or the players

00:20:41.620 that picked whoever's the fastest, they don't have any sort of burpees or anything like

00:20:45.320 that.

00:20:45.880 Everybody else has to do burpees.

00:20:47.360 And then what I tell them is I say, okay, I'm the third one, then I'm going to run the

00:20:53.200 bases.

00:20:53.920 And if I beat all of you guys, then you owe me burpees.

00:20:57.380 If you, if even just one of you can beat me, then I'll do burpees.

00:21:01.900 So now they're competing against each other.

00:21:04.040 They're picking, they're playing for each other.

00:21:06.320 They're trying to beat me.

00:21:07.620 Like all of this little competition is really, really healthy.

00:21:10.820 The other things that you can do along the same lines is reward players for good performance.

00:21:16.280 I remember when I was playing competitive sports, when I was young, I would see guys

00:21:20.800 get, you know, defensive player in the week of, in football or offensive player of the

00:21:25.460 week or special teams or whatever it was.

00:21:27.060 And I was like, man, I want that.

00:21:28.860 Like, I want to be acknowledged for that.

00:21:30.560 And so I played harder and harder and harder.

00:21:32.380 This is the demise of competition and why participation trophies are actually a detriment

00:21:37.120 to kids because they don't encourage that.

00:21:40.260 I understand why it's because you don't want certain kids to feel left out.

00:21:43.560 But the reality is that's going to happen regardless of what you do, whether you do

00:21:47.120 participation trophies or not, because some kids just aren't good.

00:21:50.760 And that's just the nature of life.

00:21:52.200 They're not good at that particular skill, but rewarding good behavior encourages the

00:21:58.000 ones who are doing good to continue to do it.

00:22:00.320 And the ones who have aspirational goals to step up in a new way, they maybe wouldn't

00:22:05.260 have had that recognition, not been available.

00:22:07.500 But again, that comes back to intentions, to the reason why, and also motives.

00:22:11.760 It's not bad to be driven by motivation or motivated by recognition.

00:22:17.040 It's not a bad thing.

00:22:18.520 If you know, that's what it is, then recognize a kid and they'll perform better.

00:22:23.260 Yeah.

00:22:25.380 It's good stuff.

00:22:26.600 Nick Berger, what approach have you taken or planning on taking regarding educating your

00:22:32.320 kids about drugs and alcohol?

00:22:34.180 How does your personal past experience, religious beliefs, and social views factor into your approach?

00:22:39.440 And what age does it start?

00:22:42.300 Thanks, Bearded Leader and Trusty Sidekip.

00:22:45.900 Sidekip.

00:22:46.980 That's a nickname I haven't heard yet, man.

00:22:49.000 I like that one.

00:22:49.740 Yeah, that's funny.

00:22:50.760 And my sidekip.

00:22:51.760 I like that a lot.

00:22:52.920 Sidekip.

00:22:53.560 My sidekip.

00:22:55.020 Oh, man.

00:22:57.540 I was digging Slash and what was the other one?

00:23:00.720 I don't know.

00:23:01.440 I like sidekip.

00:23:03.420 I know you do.

00:23:05.780 I'm not going to be able to answer.

00:23:07.400 I'm not going to be able to answer this question. 0.98

00:23:11.220 Holy crap. 0.96

00:23:11.980 What was the question? 0.99

00:23:13.240 How do I manage drugs and alcohol?

00:23:15.720 You just talk about it.

00:23:17.260 I mean, you just do.

00:23:18.080 So many parents are afraid to talk about drugs and alcohol or pornography or the birds and

00:23:22.900 the bees or money or politics or religion or any number of things that are sensitive

00:23:27.000 and uncomfortable, frankly, to talk about.

00:23:28.580 But the more that you talk about it, the better you're going to get at it and the more you're

00:23:34.200 going to be able to equip your kids with what they need.

00:23:36.320 So my conversations start early.

00:23:39.240 You know, if I see somebody smoking a cigarette, for example, and my kids are there, I'm going

00:23:44.020 to ask them, hey, what do you think about that?

00:23:46.580 They're going to say, I don't know.

00:23:47.560 I was like, do you think that's like positive behavior?

00:23:49.660 Do you think that's something you should or shouldn't do?

00:23:51.660 And they know.

00:23:52.300 They're like, no, I shouldn't do that.

00:23:53.300 Well, why?

00:23:54.160 And then we talk about it.

00:23:55.200 Well, because it could hurt your health or it smells bad.

00:23:58.860 I mean, they come up with all the reasons that one would normally think of.

00:24:01.900 So that's right.

00:24:02.660 Now that said, does that make that person a bad individual?

00:24:05.760 And if they say yes, then I have to coach that.

00:24:07.760 No, that doesn't make them a bad person.

00:24:09.720 It just means that maybe they're not making a decision that's in their best interest.

00:24:13.900 So we talk about these things.

00:24:15.680 We constantly have these conversations.

00:24:18.140 And that's the answer.

00:24:19.900 It's the answer for a lot.

00:24:21.220 It's just to talk, just to converse, just to have difficult.

00:24:25.540 Discussions.

00:24:26.280 The more you do that, again, the more you're equipping your kids with the tools they need

00:24:30.660 and the frameworks and the references and the ideas and perspectives they need to be

00:24:37.260 able to make their own decisions.

00:24:39.120 We talk about tattoos, for example.

00:24:40.680 I don't have any tattoos.

00:24:42.240 Do you have a tattoo?

00:24:43.540 No.

00:24:44.520 I talk with my kids.

00:24:45.380 I'm like, what do you think about tattoos?

00:24:46.940 I don't mind them personally.

00:24:48.200 I just choose not to get a tattoo.

00:24:49.880 And my kids are like, man, I don't think I want one.

00:24:51.520 Okay, well, why?

00:24:52.640 Well, because X, Y, and Z.

00:24:53.720 I'm like, well, what do you think about people that have them?

00:24:55.800 And they're like, well, I don't know.

00:24:56.700 I'm like, no, again, it doesn't make them a bad person.

00:24:58.800 So we're having these conversations about things that are personal decisions that somebody

00:25:04.020 can choose and how it doesn't make them necessarily a bad person.

00:25:06.480 It just means that that's not a decision that I'm interested in.

00:25:10.400 Yeah.

00:25:10.760 I hope that answers the question.

00:25:12.100 It's maybe I oversimplified it, but, but it truly is just having conversations with your

00:25:17.180 kids.

00:25:17.480 And, and also here's another one, never to be, be too busy to have a conversation with your

00:25:22.680 child if they initiate it, right?

00:25:25.480 So if your child comes to you and says, Hey dad, can I talk with you about something?

00:25:29.740 Oh, I try to be very careful of saying, oh, you know, I'm too busy or I've got this business

00:25:34.760 thing.

00:25:35.100 Like, let me take care of this first.

00:25:37.140 I want to be very open and receptive to what they're talking about and, and not lecture.

00:25:41.760 I'm also very cautious of not lecturing, which is why I ask my kids a lot of questions because

00:25:46.420 I want them to engage in the conversation and think for themselves.

00:25:49.380 And if it's dad, just pointing my finger and lecturing about what they shouldn't, shouldn't

00:25:52.440 do.

00:25:52.700 I can see them rolling their eyes and saying, oh, here goes dad again.

00:25:55.600 Right.

00:25:55.940 Yeah.

00:25:56.400 I struggle with that.

00:25:57.340 We all do.

00:25:58.320 Cause we know, especially when it comes to a little child, we know what's in their best interest.

00:26:01.900 And so it's easy to just lecture and talk down to rather than opening up the dialogue.

00:26:06.820 Yeah.

00:26:07.640 I, if I had to summarize what you said, Ryan, I'd say that your, your approach is continuous,

00:26:12.680 ongoing, constant conversation.

00:26:15.380 It's not like, let me create this plan.

00:26:19.520 Right.

00:26:19.980 And an approach to talk to my kids about drug and alcohol.

00:26:22.440 It's like, you're looking for opportunities on a regular basis to ask them questions,

00:26:27.360 generate thought.

00:26:28.700 You know what I mean?

00:26:29.500 Provides them guidance and just constantly doing that on a regular basis.

00:26:34.460 Yeah.

00:26:34.860 I do the same thing with money.

00:26:36.080 That's a big taboo in a lot of people's lives.

00:26:37.940 And so my son, my oldest in particular is more interested in it because he sees me interacting

00:26:42.300 with money and where he's managing, helping manage the store and shipping orders and things

00:26:46.700 like that.

00:26:47.180 So he'll ask me, you know, how much did you pay for your truck?

00:26:50.100 And I'd tell him exactly how much I paid.

00:26:52.680 Well, how much do you owe?

00:26:53.420 I tell him, you know, I don't owe anything.

00:26:55.020 Cause I paid it off.

00:26:56.400 Uh, when we drive by the loan, the, the loan sharks or whatever you call them, the loan

00:27:00.780 companies on the side of the road, it's like, Hey, be careful of that.

00:27:03.880 And he's like, why?

00:27:04.420 I said, if you give that person, if you need a hundred dollars, they'll give you a hundred

00:27:07.720 dollars, but then you have to pay them back 125. 1.00

00:27:10.440 He's like, well, that's stupid. 0.99

00:27:11.380 Like exactly. 1.00

00:27:12.100 It is.

00:27:13.860 So just save your own money.

00:27:15.260 And then you don't have to pay $125 for something that should just be a hundred.

00:27:18.560 He's like, Oh yeah, that makes sense.

00:27:20.540 When he asked about us moving to Maine, he's like, I don't think you should borrow money

00:27:24.520 to buy the house.

00:27:25.400 I said, okay, well, let's talk about that.

00:27:27.620 Let's talk about why or why I shouldn't, or why I should.

00:27:30.500 We have these discussions because these are the discussions that matter.

00:27:34.540 Not what was their favorite show of Paw Patrol or whatever kids watch.

00:27:38.660 I don't know.

00:27:40.460 Paw Patrol.

00:27:41.640 All right.

00:27:42.140 Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, kid.

00:27:44.040 I totally know what Paw Patrol is.

00:27:46.240 Dude, I have two little girls. 0.99

00:27:47.560 That's what I'm saying.

00:27:48.100 It's like Barbie.

00:27:49.760 Barbie Dreamhouse, baby.

00:27:51.480 Dude, it is actually a funny cartoon.

00:27:54.320 I enjoy a little Barbie Dreamhouse.

00:27:55.980 Do you want me to cut that?

00:27:56.800 Do you want me to cut that segment out before we...

00:27:58.560 You could leave it in.

00:28:00.800 I'll own it.

00:28:03.260 All right.

00:28:04.700 Dominic, our fellow jujitsu guy from Origin, Maine.

00:28:09.100 What tactics and strategies do you guys implement to avoid burnout?

00:28:13.180 Now, I keep finding myself in this cycle of sprint hard and crash.

00:28:18.060 Then I'm forced to rest.

00:28:19.640 Then I'm sprinting again.

00:28:20.960 Then crash, rest, and repeat.

00:28:22.660 I don't mind sprinting it just too intense for the long term and way too often.

00:28:29.560 Thanks, brothers.

00:28:30.360 Yeah, that's something that's very common, I think, in a lot of guys because we are hard

00:28:35.160 charging, hard driving.

00:28:36.520 We want to accomplish a lot.

00:28:37.760 And so, yeah, like I said, something I think is very common.

00:28:42.860 I think, Dominic, you recognize what's happening, which is you're pushing too hard in short bursts.

00:28:49.500 So, I would recommend that maybe you do consider scaling back, whether that's at the gym or

00:28:54.100 in jujitsu or at work or whatever, and realize that slow and steady wins the race, right?

00:29:00.240 If you can be consistent in and day in and day out over a long and sustained period of

00:29:05.360 time, you will inevitably, I believe, get further than somebody who's just going to sprint,

00:29:08.800 stop, sprint, stop, sprint, stop, stop.

00:29:10.180 So, for me, it's about doing the things that I know need to get done, but it's about creating

00:29:17.300 some space and margin in my life.

00:29:18.980 Like yesterday afternoon, for example, I ran a 5K yesterday just on my own.

00:29:24.060 It was a trail run.

00:29:25.720 What else did I do?

00:29:26.560 I shot my bow.

00:29:27.620 Like I gave myself time throughout my quote unquote working day where I can engage in activities

00:29:32.940 that are different enough that it rejuvenates me, but still is moving the needle.

00:29:40.000 Like running is still good for me, right?

00:29:42.220 But it's different enough than answering emails.

00:29:44.880 Shooting my bow is still good for me, but it's different than being at the gym, for example.

00:29:49.100 So, you can still be progressing, but maybe you just mix it up in there so you're not

00:29:53.000 so burnt out on one task or one item, one series of tasks that you need to complete.

00:29:59.700 Yeah, that's tough.

00:30:01.080 And I think that pairing back, right, from the sprint looks differently for everybody,

00:30:09.260 right?

00:30:09.620 Like I've gone – like jujitsu is one of my things that I consider like my reset, right?

00:30:16.360 My rest.

00:30:17.760 But then when I'm training really hard and I'm training a lot, it now becomes the sprint,

00:30:22.620 right?

00:30:23.020 And now it's like, okay, wait, I'm not getting the rest.

00:30:26.560 Now it's reading a book, right?

00:30:28.360 Now it's going for a walk with the family in the neighborhood.

00:30:30.800 Now it's kind of something else.

00:30:32.220 And so, I think we have the ability to almost take anything and turn that into the hard sprint

00:30:37.440 if we're not careful.

00:30:39.260 And so, I think try to find what that activity is for you is kind of key as part of avoiding

00:30:46.860 that burnout process.

00:30:48.060 And I think this is a personality trait in a lot of guys too.

00:30:51.440 I tend to become obsessed with activities and then I burn out because I'm like, okay,

00:30:57.140 well, I filled the cup or did whatever I needed to.

00:30:59.580 It's like, well, don't – try not to obsess over it.

00:31:02.320 If you're going to be obsessed and it's going to burn you out, then recognize that, acknowledge

00:31:05.980 it, and then create a plan so you don't get obsessed necessarily, but that it's a healthy

00:31:10.640 practice.

00:31:12.320 Like going to the gym, something that I think everybody would probably consider a good thing.

00:31:18.600 I know guys that just take it to the extreme and they're obsessed and it alienates other

00:31:23.660 aspects of their lives.

00:31:24.780 So, it's like it's no longer healthy practice.

00:31:27.580 It's actually unhealthy at that point.

00:31:29.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:30.280 So, recognize it.

00:31:31.100 Yeah, you kind of ruin it.

00:31:32.180 Yeah.

00:31:32.800 Yeah.

00:31:33.120 Not only ruin it, but you ruin yourself.

00:31:35.760 You know, you get obsessed about it.

00:31:38.200 You can't focus on anything else.

00:31:41.000 You neglect your other obligations and responsibilities.

00:31:44.320 You know, we talk about this when it comes to drugs.

00:31:47.100 You know, that's an easy thing, but how many of us do that with our hobbies?

00:31:51.060 You know, like for example, hunting.

00:31:52.720 Like how many guys do I know, hunters that I know who I think are good men, but they're

00:31:58.680 hunting so much that they're alienating their wife.

00:32:02.420 It's like, well, you got to find the healthy boundary for that stuff.

00:32:05.860 Otherwise, it's just going to consume you and it's not going to help you.

00:32:09.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:10.180 And there's so much to be considered of why you're obsessed with it, right?

00:32:15.100 Yeah.

00:32:15.340 Are you running away from something?

00:32:17.620 Are you – do you feel inadequate in other aspects of your life?

00:32:20.700 For sure.

00:32:21.800 Yeah, comparing yourself to other people.

00:32:23.420 Yeah.

00:32:23.620 So, you're obsessed with it because, you know, you're measuring yourself and you want

00:32:27.540 to be better in that area.

00:32:28.700 Yeah.

00:32:29.100 I mean, there's so much there.

00:32:30.280 Absolutely.

00:32:32.360 Bertus Kotser, from your Instagram post with your little man and his birthday.

00:32:36.880 So, happy birthday, little man.

00:32:38.200 You mentioned him testing you in ways like never before.

00:32:42.420 How do you stay calm, not get angry, and take it out on your son?

00:32:47.360 Well, I recognize it, number one, right?

00:32:49.740 That's the most important thing that you recognize.

00:32:52.160 And I recognize it in a good way.

00:32:53.720 It's very easy for us to look at kids who are stubborn and he is, man.

00:32:57.180 I even put in that post, like, he's a rule breaker, right?

00:32:59.840 Yeah.

00:33:00.060 He'll find the rules and he'll break them.

00:33:01.580 He'll see it in his –

00:33:02.840 Oh, and a smile and a smirk in his eyes.

00:33:04.900 A smile, yeah.

00:33:05.980 Yeah, man.

00:33:06.640 That's just who he is.

00:33:08.960 And it's very easy for us to say, well, I want to break him of that.

00:33:12.420 It's like, well, if you break him of that, what else are you breaking him of?

00:33:16.140 You got to be cautious because you can't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

00:33:19.140 Yep.

00:33:19.380 So, number one, recognize that what you might see as frustrating may actually not be a bad

00:33:28.900 thing if it's not used correctly.

00:33:30.940 If the virtues or the abilities or skills or personality isn't healthy, okay, well, you

00:33:35.720 got to help harness that.

00:33:37.380 And that's exactly what our job is as fathers, is to harness it.

00:33:40.820 So, is being stubborn a bad thing?

00:33:43.480 It can be.

00:33:44.860 But in a way, it also can be a very good thing.

00:33:47.520 Like, can looking at the world a little differently be a bad thing?

00:33:52.400 Well, it can if you're using it for things that are immoral, illegal, or unethical.

00:33:57.880 Or it can be something that maybe opens the world up to a new perspective that hadn't been

00:34:03.480 considered before.

00:34:05.320 So, when I'm interacting with my youngest son in particular, because he's probably the biggest

00:34:09.940 handful that we have, I try not to look at those things as negatives and I try to look

00:34:15.440 at them as positive things.

00:34:16.400 So, if he's misbehaving, I think, well, how can I turn this into a positive?

00:34:20.180 Maybe he just needs to go outside and just roll around in the dirt or jump on the trampoline

00:34:24.320 or burn some of that energy out.

00:34:25.660 I think we have a very, very serious problem in society with over-medicating our boys because

00:34:31.040 they can't sit still.

00:34:31.900 It's like, do they need medication or do they just need to go run?

00:34:35.040 Do they need to sit and focus in a classroom the way, quote unquote, they should?

00:34:38.760 Or do they need some experiential learning?

00:34:40.520 And I think if we take the perspective of why is this actually a good thing?

00:34:45.060 Why is this not bad?

00:34:46.000 And how can I harness this skill that most people or this trait that most people would

00:34:51.120 look as bad and teach my child how to harness it in a way that's going to be effective for

00:34:59.080 my kid, then I think we're going to have a lot more success.

00:35:03.580 And I certainly think we're going to be more patient as we're trying to deal with the challenges

00:35:09.200 of raising a hard child.

00:35:14.060 So, I had to look up this quote because I've heard this quote before and I really like it.

00:35:18.000 It says,

00:35:19.020 Strong-willed children become adults who change the world as long as we can hang on for the

00:35:24.240 ride and resist the temptation to tame the spirit out of them.

00:35:27.740 I like that.

00:35:28.700 I like the resist the temptation to tame the spirit.

00:35:31.460 I would say that one thing I don't agree with that quote is hang on for the ride.

00:35:36.160 I appreciate the sentiment, but you're not there to hang on.

00:35:39.220 You're there to guide.

00:35:40.120 Exactly.

00:35:40.860 Yeah, I totally agree.

00:35:42.320 But the key is, is like that to what your point earlier is, that tough spirit is very

00:35:48.480 powerful, right?

00:35:49.720 It's about teaching them to harness it.

00:35:52.180 Right.

00:35:52.420 Although it makes parenting difficult, right?

00:35:55.020 But it's also a very powerful thing.

00:35:56.440 I mean, we talk about that in violence quite a bit, right?

00:35:59.180 Is harness the violence, right?

00:36:01.280 Don't, don't demonize it.

00:36:03.400 Don't make it bad.

00:36:04.180 Don't try to get rid of it.

00:36:05.180 Like teach them how to use it.

00:36:06.660 That's exactly right.

00:36:07.800 Yeah, that's exactly right.

00:36:09.140 Because there's a time and a place where violence is necessary.

00:36:11.540 And if you don't teach your child how to harness it, then they're going to use it destructively.

00:36:17.580 You know, I look at my boys, for example, I've got three boys and a little girl.

00:36:20.120 I look at my three boys and I tell them like, guys, don't be destructive.

00:36:26.240 Use the same skills and the strength and the curiosity to be constructive.

00:36:30.640 So my second, for example, he loves, so I'll give you an example.

00:36:36.460 We, we bought him a car for his birthday, like a little model car for his birthday.

00:36:40.120 I was going to say, yeah, not a car, but a model, like a little model car and a big metal car.

00:36:46.100 Like it was cool, you know?

00:36:46.980 And, and within a week he had thrown it against the wall and smashed it to pieces.

00:36:51.700 And I'm like, what, why did you do that?

00:36:57.200 And he's like, oh, I, I, I just thought he was being destructive.

00:36:59.740 And he's like, oh, I, I threw it against the wall.

00:37:01.620 So it'd come apart.

00:37:02.300 So I could see how all the pieces were moving.

00:37:04.060 I'm like, oh, like he wasn't trying to be destructive.

00:37:06.800 He was trying to be constructive.

00:37:08.060 So what can I do to harness that?

00:37:09.520 Well, maybe I can just get him a model kit so he can actually put it together.

00:37:12.720 So, so instead of destroying things, he can actually get these little pieces and glue them together and put them together.

00:37:17.420 And so that's what we did.

00:37:18.320 So we really have to understand why they're behaving the way they are.

00:37:22.040 And then again, it's our job not to hang on, but to harness it in a way that's going to serve him and other people that he'll at some point have an obligation to serve.

00:37:29.940 Yeah.

00:37:30.220 Well, and Dan's question earlier about his daughter in lacrosse and being competitive and aggressive.

00:37:34.840 Part of that might be, I mean, our kids have been conditioned by, by fifth grade.

00:37:39.180 They've been told not to be aggressive, right?

00:37:42.140 Don't be competitive, right?

00:37:43.720 And so a little bit of that, you know, I'm not saying this is the case, but part of maybe his team not being aggressive is the fact that they haven't been guided to use their aggression either.

00:37:54.540 Right.

00:37:54.980 Right.

00:37:55.540 I mean, I even tell kids in our, on our baseball team, like you can get mad.

00:38:00.880 It's okay.

00:38:01.420 I told my son yesterday, cause he was starting to, he's getting tired.

00:38:03.600 And so he's starting to, he's pitches.

00:38:05.300 So he's starting to lob the balls in a little bit.

00:38:06.640 I'm like, Hey man, like get pissed, but get, get mad. 0.98

00:38:10.040 Use that, use that fire as fuel.

00:38:13.020 And he turned it on and he pitched a great game yesterday.

00:38:15.500 We won the game and all was well, but yeah, it's okay to teach them to push a little harder and to use what maybe a lot of society would dub as toxic or some, somehow some, some trait they shouldn't be harnessing.

00:38:28.820 It's not true.

00:38:30.240 Totally.

00:38:30.900 Is he catching and pitching then?

00:38:32.980 Yeah.

00:38:33.200 Yeah.

00:38:33.600 Yeah.

00:38:33.900 Okay.

00:38:34.700 Yeah.

00:38:35.200 He's, he, um, I didn't know that he'd be a great, he's a pretty good little pitcher.

00:38:40.100 He's super coachable, super coachable.

00:38:42.280 I mean, he's my most coachable kid.

00:38:44.300 He's most, my most agreeable, I should say.

00:38:46.720 And so when you ask him to do something, he's like, Oh, okay.

00:38:49.600 Okay.

00:38:49.900 I'll do that.

00:38:50.720 And so he's not like raw athleticism.

00:38:54.400 It's not necessarily there, but because of his coachability, he actually, he is actually a good little ball player.

00:39:02.020 Yeah.

00:39:02.420 Well, it's funny.

00:39:03.540 I mean, if you're a decent ball player by default, you'll be pitching, right?

00:39:07.680 It's because, well, especially, yeah, that league is like any kid that can throw halfway decent ends up on that mound a little bit.

00:39:14.180 But, and then to come, to come back to harnessing is so he's wanted to pitch.

00:39:18.600 And I just bought a book on Amazon, like the complete guide to pitching.

00:39:23.040 It's like, that's my job.

00:39:23.780 My job is to take what he wants to do and then figure out ways to harness it and make him better.

00:39:28.880 So I, I invest a lot in my kids to help them improve a skillset that they're interested in.

00:39:34.340 And so I buy a $10 book or whatever it was.

00:39:36.840 And I, I read it myself and I tab little sections and I highlight it.

00:39:41.720 And then I have him read sections and then we go out and we drill and we train.

00:39:45.820 That's my job.

00:39:46.580 My job is to harness what he wants to do and teach him how to be the best at what he's doing.

00:39:50.180 And her, my daughter as well, not just my, my sons.

00:39:53.560 Cool.

00:39:54.500 All right.

00:39:55.200 Gabe Cruello, mirroring Aaron's question.

00:39:59.000 How do you help inspire our kids?

00:40:01.260 I have teenagers to embrace, embrace pain, discomfort, hard work, and the hard work that it takes to make a positive change or even want positive change and growth.

00:40:11.920 I, I really am seeking this question about myself, but I look better if I ask for my kids.

00:40:17.740 Well, let's address the real question then instead of the fake one, uh, you, you've got to find something that inspires you, right?

00:40:27.800 You don't have to be motivated and inspired the same way I am.

00:40:30.860 Like there's no rule that says you need to be inspired by hunting or if you, or if you're inspired by what Kip does with jujitsu, it's like, there's no rule that says that's what a man is inspired by or even what a man does.

00:40:42.900 So find something that works for you, something that you're excited about, something that you're passionate about and engaged with, because then I think it's less of an uphill battle.

00:40:52.540 But if you're trying to follow around what I'm doing or Kip or any number of people that you could be following and saying, Oh, I'm supposed to do it like that.

00:40:58.720 Like I always use the example of Jocko. So Jocko gets up at four 30 and all of the guys think that because he gets up at four 30 and post a picture of his watch that they have to, I don't, I don't think that's right.

00:41:10.160 I think if you get up at four 30, because that works for your schedule and that's what inspires you, then, then get after it as Jocko would say.

00:41:17.760 But if you wake up at six 30, because that's what works for your dynamic.

00:41:21.020 And then you go do the things that you feel are good for you and uplifting and make you stronger in all capacities of life, then, then do that.

00:41:28.100 We got to be very, very careful of, of comparing ourselves to other individuals and thinking because they do it a certain way that that's the way that we're supposed to do it.

00:41:35.460 And then what it leads to is, Oh, I should do this. I should really do this. And then you never do it.

00:41:42.200 And then that leads to guilt and resentment and frustration, which leads to feelings of inadequacy and ultimately lower performance, which perpetuates the cycle.

00:41:54.640 So find something that you're inspired by. If you don't like running and you're never going to be a runner, then nobody's saying you have to go run a marathon.

00:42:02.640 Maybe jujitsu would be better for you. If you're not into firearms training and you don't like guns.

00:42:09.960 Okay. Well then go shoot a bow or something else like, or don't shoot at all.

00:42:15.100 Like nobody's saying you have to do this stuff. I'm like the greatest, one of the, one of the greatest challenges I have is when I share things, people think that because I'm sharing it, that I'm saying that this is what a man does.

00:42:27.320 Now there are some of those things. Certainly. I'm just sharing what's working for me. And if it works for you too, great. Something else works for you. Great.

00:42:36.220 But find something that inspires you that you're excited about and pursue that and be less concerned about what I'm doing or what Kip's doing or what Andy Frisilla is doing or Jocko Willink or Goggins or any number of people.

00:42:48.280 Just do you and push as hard as you can with that thing.

00:42:52.820 Cool. Joshua Benton from Facebook. What is your best advice for a young man trying to find his place in this world?

00:43:01.420 For a young man, I would say, try everything like your job. I don't know. I don't know how young is, is young, but when you're a young man, I think of a young man, probably between like, if I were to categorize that, I'd say between maybe like 15 to 25, I would say is, is a young man.

00:43:19.340 What, what should a young man in that age bracket do? He should be consuming as much as he possibly can by way of experiences. If something sounds fascinating, do it. That sounds intriguing, do it. Go out there, learn, experience, go on trips, travel the world, take, take a class that maybe you normally wouldn't take, pick up a new hobby, buy a guitar, buy a bow, go hunting, like do as much as you possibly can.

00:43:43.460 Cause what you want to do is you want to just be like cramming stimulus into your, into your being. And then you can start whittling it down from there. Okay. I have all this stimulus. Now, what is interesting to me? What do I want to pursue a little bit deeper? Cause I think once you start getting to like 35 to 45, you, you graduate from apprentice to now you're more of a journeyman, maybe if we're going to use that analogy.

00:44:06.400 So now you're proficient in something and you're starting to whittle away what you're good at and pursue one track. That's probably, I would say 25 to maybe 45 ish. And then I think at 45, you, you become somewhat of a master at that thing. And then you have an obligation to turn around. And then, then now you're, you're the, you're the coach, you're the teacher, you're the mentor.

00:44:32.300 So now you're turning around and you're helping these other young men get all the stimulus and then find something that's intriguing to them. And then journeyman, and then they become the mentor. This is the cycle of life. So if you're a young man, your stage is apprentice. I'm learning. My job is to learn. So I go out there, I learn everything I can. I'm applying a lot of different things. And then eventually you'll start graduating and changing into this journeyman, which is, I really like this. I'm going to walk this route.

00:45:02.300 You just made me feel better about being in my forties.

00:45:05.620 What do you mean?

00:45:07.080 Well, cause I'm, I'm, I'm the master. That's why.

00:45:10.380 Well, you're not a master just because you're 40. Let me clarify there. Okay. So this is not an age thing. It's about the time you should start getting very, very proficient in something.

00:45:20.380 By now, Kip, you should actually be good at something.

00:45:23.540 So actually you should feel worse.

00:45:25.020 You have five years because once you hit 45, then you just move on to that next stage. And if you've got nothing to share, you're going to be worthless having around.

00:45:33.100 I'm going to get my shit together. 0.99

00:45:35.740 All right. Ian Swar. I would like to start my own business, but my experience and skills are in healthcare and therefore not very trans, uh, translatable. 0.98

00:45:45.340 I'm going to stop you, Kip, right here.

00:45:47.020 I know.

00:45:47.900 Just go, go get new skills.

00:45:50.820 Well, I actually disagree with him. He's saying that his experience in healthcare doesn't allow him to be translatable to building his own business. Are you kidding? That's an amazing industry.

00:46:00.420 I agree. I agree. I think you're right. I think both of us are right. I think it's translatable. And if you feel like you need a new skill, get a new skill.

00:46:08.720 Yeah. Like nobody's the barrier to learning something is lower than it's ever been. There's no gatekeeper. There's very little cost in learning something. There's a course, there's a conference, there's a YouTube channel, there's a podcast, there's a book on whatever you feel like you need to learn. Like, just go learn it. Stop. Like the, I was going to stop you when you said, but, cause that's don't, don't do that. That's an excuse. We talked about this, uh, I think a couple of months ago when I said the difference between an excuse and a reason, a reason is legitimate.

00:46:37.880 Like, Hey, I don't know how to manage my books. Okay. Well, that's a reason. So I, that has a solution that you got to find a solution for. Right. But an excuse is like, I don't know how to manage my books. So I guess I can't be an entrepreneur. It's like, that sounds silly. It sounds stupid. And yet so many of us do that. Stop it. Knock it off with the excuses. Identify some reasons. I think you should do that. You don't want to go into something blind or ignorant. That's not wise, but figure out what the reasons are. Okay.

00:47:06.900 Well, I don't know how to manage my books. I don't know how taxes work. I don't know how to incorporate. All right, good. Learn it. That's simple. That's easy. Let's go learn it and apply it. And to your point, Kip, I think a lot of it probably is translatable for sure.

00:47:19.800 Yeah. Yeah. Well, and let's be frank, right? You, you have a, guess what you need to start to have a good business idea. Often you need to, you need to find a gap, a gap in a process, a gap, a problem in which you can provide a solution, right? Healthcare industry. It's not going anywhere. That industry sticking around. What gaps exist?

00:47:43.860 Yeah. You work at a point. You're going to be aware of the, the solutions or, you know, what, where there needs to be a solution implemented. You know what the gaps are. You know what the problems are. Figure it out. And guess what? You don't have to even be a healthcare professional address some of those problems. Some of those problems might be hardware. They might be software. They might be around process or something else.

00:48:05.200 So I think personally, there's gaps in everything. And, and a lot of entrepreneurs, some of them that have the best success is because they were tied to some industry that allowed them to see issues and gaps in, um, in a process where they could address it. Right. And find it and or suggest a solution.

00:48:25.840 Yeah. I think this is the premise behind Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours. And, and I can't remember who he talks about, whether it's jobs or Bill Gates, where they were, they had access to computers before they really became mainstream. And so they were able to put in so many hours because they were in this program at college before they even became mainstream.

00:48:49.500 And because they had access to that. And because they had access to that and they were in that field. Well, then you have two of the wealthiest men that have ever existed, right? Because they had access to it in their environment. And then they used it and they got proficient with it and then used it to create something entirely new and something entirely different that we haven't ever seen before.

00:49:08.200 I'll give you another example on a smaller scale in my own personal life. When I was a financial planner, this was probably, um, two to maybe two years before I started order of man, I started thinking about how I could speed up the, what you would call a sales process. So taking somebody from prospect to sitting down with me to the first time to becoming a client to investing to et cetera, et cetera. Right.

00:49:36.980 The place where it got bottlenecked was moving them from prospect to client. And I'd have to sit down with these individuals for a lot, for a long amount of time and really explain what it is I was doing, why it was important, why they needed to worry about it, why it was a concern of theirs. And I really had to sell these individuals on why I should be that advisor. And I thought, man, this is like, this is not a great use of my time.

00:50:02.860 So what I started doing it, and I don't even know how, how I had the idea, but I said, well, what if I could just record this presentation and I could just give it to a prospect and they could listen to it. And if they were intrigued, then we would set up an appointment that would speed up the process for me. And it would be a lot, a lot more cost effective.

00:50:21.260 So I recorded this, it must've been 25 minute presentation about what I do and why they should hire me. And then I went to Staples or wherever, and I bought blank CDs and I bought the CD covers and I had got some professional pictures done, had a designer design a CD cover, printed them off right there on labels.

00:50:44.620 Like I remember sticking labels on the CDs themselves and I would give them to prospects. And I would say, when you're done with this, will you just hand it to somebody else? I bought a, a cheap, you know, like a $90 microphone. And that's what I did. And it started working. People were coming in. They're like, oh, we really like your philosophy. We listened to your CD. My neighbor gave it to me and we want to work with you. I'm like, whoa, this actually works. Like what else can I do?

00:51:07.800 So then I started thinking about podcasting because I was listening to a lot of podcasts at the time. And I thought, well, I'll just, I'll do a podcast. And so I started a podcast on financial planning and I used that same $100 microphone and I just launched it. It was called Wealth Anatomy. It was geared towards helping medical professionals with their financial services. Well, long story short, those two little seemingly insignificant experiments turned into what you guys are listening right now.

00:51:32.680 And I had, I never recorded that 20 minute little introductory video where I was putting it on CDs and sticking labels on there and handing it out. I never would be doing this podcast right now. So you might, the CD have a video of you talking. It's just audio. It's audio only. Yeah. So I was going to say, we need to put that online. No, we don't. We don't need to put that online. I can't, I don't even know if I have it probably somewhere.

00:52:00.680 Anyways, the point I'm making is that there's probably something you're doing right now that if you continue to pursue would translate very well into something else, but you just have to put in your dues.

00:52:11.540 So true. So true. Seth Mathers, five most important takeaways you've learned that someone else could apply in creating their own movement. Like you have the order of man.

00:52:22.460 Uh, let me think I'm a fly here. Number one, consistency. You got to be very, very consistent. I see guys to Dominic's question earlier that burnout, they get all hyped up and excited about something. So they do it for a month or two and they're like, Oh, I'm not seeing the results. Well, yeah, you just hadn't given enough time. So number one is consistency. Uh, number two is you got to learn to take a hardline stance. If you can't take a hardline stance on something, if you can't stand for something, then you'll never be able to create a movement because you'll water down your message.

00:52:51.520 Okay. So hardline stance, meaning just have a unmovable opinion about something like explain more if you don't mind.

00:53:00.680 No, that's that, that could be one. And I wouldn't say unmovable because that, that could be dangerous because you don't, you, you want to, you want to expand your, your capacity for new thinking, right? So you don't want to be immovable necessarily, but a hardline stance might be. So for example, order of man is, I believe that men are protectors, providers, and presiders.

00:53:21.520 Like it's going to be very, very difficult to convince me otherwise. Yeah. I believe that biologically and socially we are designed to be that way and to operate that way.

00:53:31.460 And my job is to help men step more fully into that role. That's my hardline stance. Another hardline stance is that it's called order of man, not order of women, not order of whoever wants to show up and do this.

00:53:44.180 It's order of man. And so if women say, well, can I join the answer is no, not because I want to be exclusionary, but because this is for men, that's who it's for. 0.99

00:53:51.460 Uh, another hardline stance that I have that a lot of people don't like, and they get after me about is that, uh, women who want to be men are not men.

00:54:02.060 So we hear this term like transgender man. Well, that's, that's not a man. That's a woman who has a desire to be a man. And if that's their prerogative, great, that's fine.

00:54:10.740 That doesn't make, make me a transphobic or I'm afraid of it, or I don't understand. No, it just means that I don't think they're men. I think biologically you have to be a man. That's the prerequisite for being a man.

00:54:23.500 So I have certain things that I'm willing to say and willing to share some of them uncomfortable. Some of them people don't like, but because I'm willing to take that stand, then I'm very appealing to those who actually believe a lot like me.

00:54:37.340 And especially, especially in a society that waffles around so much, can't make a stand, has no convictions. They'll say one thing and do something else entirely different. And, and something that is at odds with what they just said 24 hours earlier. It's very, very disingenuous and it's very unattractive. It's disgusting. In fact, that's why politics is so bad.

00:54:59.300 Would you, would you add being very specific as part of that hard line stance?

00:55:06.240 Specific for?

00:55:06.980 That you've clearly identified.

00:55:08.040 Oh yeah.

00:55:08.740 Yeah. You've clearly identified what you're focused on.

00:55:12.100 Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's, that would be another point.

00:55:14.920 That's only two, by the way.

00:55:16.180 Yeah. So that would be number three is, is being specific, having a niche, right? If you say that you're going to save everybody and serve everybody by doing everything, then actually you're going to serve nobody because you're doing nothing.

00:55:27.640 Yeah. So if you really want to help individuals, then help a select group of individuals. People are afraid to do this because they don't want to narrow it down so much that they whittle away their potential audience. Guys, there's seven and a half billion people on the planet. All you need is a thousand. That's it.

00:55:46.100 Yeah. You need a thousand of those seven and a half billion that believe in what you believe. They think like you do. They're looking for the flag bearer of, of whatever it is you stand for. And if you can be that individual, you're set. You are set.

00:55:59.540 Now we, we have reached that thousand mark and I will continue to go further. And I'm not talking about just a thousand people listening to your podcast. No, I'm talking about a thousand people who will engage with you in a deep and meaningful and significant way. They'll, they'll, uh, share your stuff. They'll put it out in there in the world. If you have an event or a new hat or whatever, they're going to buy it. Like, that's what I'm talking about. Talking about those who are extremely vested in what you're doing.

00:56:26.020 So what do we got? We got consistency. We got hardline stance. We got niche. Uh, you have, the next one is you have to learn to be a great communicator. If you can't be a great communicator, you can't do what I'm doing. That's one of the requirements. That's like the ticket for entry. And I'm not always the best communicator. I certainly haven't always been the best communicator, but I'm learning and I'm intentional about how much I'm improving my capacity for communicating a message very, very clearly.

00:56:56.600 Articulating it clearly tapping into people's both reasoning and logic and emotion. And the better I get at communication, the stronger this movement grows. That's number four. And then number five is understand that you, and this kind of ties into line with communication as well, is that you are a marketer first, a marketer first. So I don't talk about this a whole lot, but because this gentleman's asking this question, I want to, is that I, I am a,

00:57:25.920 I consider myself a marketer and I consider myself a marketer. And I know a lot of people are like, Oh, I don't want to say that. Cause that's, that's like a bad word. And it has a negative connotation. Fine. Whatever. I am a marketer.

00:57:35.500 I market tools, conversations, resources, discussions, products that will help men be more capable as fathers, husbands, business owners, community leaders, et cetera, et cetera.

00:57:51.840 I am a marketer of those things. What a lot of people will say is why I help men be better fathers, husbands, business owners, et cetera, et cetera. And they think that that's their job title.

00:58:02.540 That is not going to help. That is not going to help you build a movement. It's not you a marketer first of fill in the blank. A shoe salesman is not a shoe salesman. He's a marketer of shoes.

00:58:15.760 Somebody who's a baseball player, for example, professional baseball player is not even, yes, that is his, his vocation, but he's to market himself by improving his abilities to be a baseball player. Like you're always a marketer first.

00:58:33.760 If you get that right and you approach it that way, then you'll build, be able to build a powerful, powerful movement. That's the five I'd give right off the cuff. Anyways.

00:58:44.680 Jeez, that was good. I'd been like a one, two, three.

00:58:50.420 I kind of felt like four and five. I cheated maybe a little and combine, you know, communication, marketing. They're a little different, but kind of the same.

00:58:56.880 Yeah. Five, do steps one through four, six, create a battle plan, battle plan, battle plan it up.

00:59:04.340 Greg Griffiths. How do you treat women right without going into princess territory?

00:59:12.240 I don't, I don't think there.

00:59:15.760 I don't think you need to.

00:59:16.600 Right. Like I don't need to worship a woman in order to respect her and treat her correctly.

00:59:22.380 You know, if I'm, if I'm going into a gas station, for example, I'm going to open the door for women. 1.00

00:59:26.760 That, that doesn't mean I'm treating her like a princess. Cause guess what? I'd open it up for 16 year old punk kid too. 0.77

00:59:31.700 If there was a kid behind me walking into the convenience store, I would grab the door and I

00:59:36.520 would open it and I would say, here you go. It's not about treating them different or like

00:59:41.820 princessy. It's just about treating people with, with respect. So, you know, respect women,

00:59:49.500 appreciate them for who they are. But I cringe. I, I literally cringe when I see things on Facebook

00:59:57.900 or Instagram where it's somebody's like a wife's birthday. And the guy's like, she's the center of

01:00:03.700 my universe. She's everything. And I couldn't live without her. I'm like, dude, that's pathetic.

01:00:08.880 And that is going to lead to a very, very catastrophic situation. Don't do that. Do not 0.99

01:00:15.820 please heed my warning on this because I did that and it doesn't play out well. My wife is not the 1.00

01:00:22.900 center of my universe. And I could not live with that. No, she's a huge part of my universe.

01:00:28.480 She's somebody that I admire. I love, I respect, I work to earn her admiration and honor, but

01:00:37.040 it's, it's not revolving around her. And, and conversely, I don't want to be the center of

01:00:43.540 her everything either. That's exhausting. So bottom line, just respect, respect women,

01:00:51.600 appreciate them, hold them to a standard, especially if it's, you know, your wife,

01:00:55.980 for example, like you need to hold her to the standard. You need to hold her to what she said

01:00:59.400 she was going to do. And, and also you need to be held to a standard. You need to be held to what

01:01:03.780 you said you're going to do. This is not about keeping a woman barefoot and pregnant. It's about 0.77

01:01:09.580 honoring your commitments and expecting that she honors hers as well. I hope that answers the question.

01:01:16.740 Yeah, no, I think it does. Okay. I think it does. Tyler Cross, how do you, how to get free from a

01:01:24.340 nine to five while having a family to provide for in the meantime?

01:01:29.320 Work longer hours. That's what I did. So I was doing for seven months, actually even longer,

01:01:36.680 closer to a year, I was doing financial planning and order of man. I would wake up for two hours

01:01:40.540 every morning and I would do order of man stuff, blog posts, website stuff, podcast editing,

01:01:45.980 et cetera, et cetera. And then I would go to work and I would do my thing.

01:01:49.500 And then I'd come home and spend time with my wife and kids, put the kids to bed. And then I

01:01:53.160 would spend two more hours working on order of man stuff. It's just the way it goes. If you want to,

01:01:58.180 if you want to do something different, you got to do something different. I would also,

01:02:01.220 I take your lunch break and eat a very quick five to 10 minute lunch. And then the rest of the time

01:02:06.240 would be doing your other, your other thing, whatever your other business is. So it's,

01:02:10.440 it's not going to be permanent, shouldn't be permanent anyways, but it is something that you have to

01:02:15.420 experience and go through a season. That is the ticket to entry. And if you can't or aren't willing

01:02:19.300 to do that, that's okay, but you're never going to be an entrepreneur unless the only other way is

01:02:23.960 that you win the lottery and you, or you have a huge sum of money set aside and you can afford to

01:02:28.700 quit your job and float your expenses while you're building your other business. That's the only other

01:02:33.120 way. Adam, Michael, Scott, someone once wrote to a mind that is still the universe surrenders.

01:02:41.940 Do you utilize meditation techniques or a deprivation tanks throughout your week?

01:02:46.600 And what benefits do you see from utilizing them? Have you considered doing an order of man

01:02:51.200 meditation retreat? No, no, no, I don't. I don't use meditation in that sense. And I don't ever see

01:03:00.660 doing a meditation, a meditate. I can't even say it. It's like, it's like refuses to come out of my

01:03:06.500 mouth. Meditation retreat for order of man. Our meditation retreat is going into the mountains

01:03:12.960 and getting our asses kicked for three days. So if you consider that a form of meditation, 0.98

01:03:16.180 then I guess we already are, but we're not going to be sitting around holding hands,

01:03:20.040 singing Kumbaya while we tap into our chakras and ground our pelvises to the earth and breathe

01:03:26.700 through or whatever. So just to set the tone for everybody. So like during uprisings,

01:03:33.000 Ryan gets so much stuff packed into those, is it two, two days, three days, three. Yeah. It's like

01:03:41.380 three and a half days. It's like day one. You're like, have we been here a week? You know, it's

01:03:47.240 seriously like, I cannot imagine Ryan ever doing anything. We're like, okay guys, let's just, you

01:03:53.460 know, relax for a while. You don't do like, there's no relaxing in you. It actually had to take a Navy

01:04:01.660 Dave showing up and saying, Hey, let's do yoga today morning, uh, for that to even quasi happen.

01:04:07.820 I didn't. And I didn't do that by the way. You know, I don't know if you noticed I wasn't there.

01:04:11.260 I'm like, I got work to do. I'm not sitting around stretching my, my hamstrings or whatever.

01:04:17.120 I know that people are going to give me grief and they're going to say, well, if you're doing it

01:04:21.160 wrong or whatever, maybe I just, I don't care. I just don't have a desire to do that.

01:04:26.900 It's funny because at the uprising, uh, one of the things that we do at the end is we have the

01:04:33.480 guys fill out what I call an after action review. It's just tell me what you thought. There's some

01:04:37.860 questions in there, five or six questions. And what'd you like best? Would you like lease? You

01:04:41.880 know, how, how would you improve it? If you came back, what would make you come back? That sort of

01:04:45.200 thing. Right. Yeah. And a lot of the times the feedback is like, Oh, it was like, it was, there was a

01:04:51.140 lot. We never had time to like digest it. I'm like, that's the point, man. Supposed to be a lot. You can

01:04:55.700 digest when you're done. Yeah. So we get, yeah. I mean, I can appreciate what, what Adam's saying

01:05:03.400 and it's good to hear from Adam, by the way. I haven't seen Adam for a while. Um, but no,

01:05:08.760 no, we're not going to be doing any meditation retreats. Yeah. You got to wake up at, uh,

01:05:15.540 3 a.m. in the morning to get a meditation. And before we're stuck doing early morning.

01:05:20.740 Yeah. If you want to meditate, that's cool. Just do it on your own time. Cause we got other stuff

01:05:24.340 going on. Yeah. That's funny. All right. So I, I got to wrap up if that's okay. Yeah.

01:05:30.340 I got a hard stop in 10. So, um, everyone. So we, we, uh, we mentioned this earlier questions

01:05:36.900 from the iron council to learn more about the iron council and that, and that brotherhood

01:05:40.740 in which we're part of and very active in, uh, you can go to order of man.com slash iron

01:05:46.060 council. And then our Facebook questions are coming from our Facebook group at facebook.com

01:05:52.880 slash groups slash order of man. You can connect with Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan

01:06:00.220 Mickler. And you know, if you guys like this message and you want to connect and, or share,

01:06:06.480 subscribe to the podcast, subscribe to the YouTube channel, jump on the store, get some swag,

01:06:12.260 support the movement, invite others to the Facebook group. Um, if it's not obvious, I mean,

01:06:17.500 I, I don't know. I mean, and you use the term Ryan all the time that this is a battle. Uh, and it is

01:06:23.580 man, the, the what's at stake is substantial. And anyone listening that, that thinks that a lot is

01:06:31.780 not at stake for you leveling up and becoming a better man. You're a damn fool. You are a fool. 1.00

01:06:39.400 So much is at stake. And not only do we individually need to level up, we need to help other men level 1.00

01:06:47.180 up. We need to level up in our communities and there is a lot of work to be done. So please, uh,

01:06:54.500 invite others to the Facebook group, share the message and, uh, let's, let's get in this battle

01:06:59.820 together. I like it, man. I like it. Hey, one thing I was going to say is as you talked about having

01:07:05.300 a hard stop in 10 minutes, there was a gentleman, I can't remember his name. That's asking about how

01:07:09.240 do you make a full-time business and a side hustle work by doing what you just said.

01:07:14.920 You have boundaries in place. You operate within those boundaries. You uphold those boundaries

01:07:20.360 and you squeeze in what you can, where you can so that it can work with your existing schedule

01:07:26.200 and your ambitions that you have. So you just gave us a great example of how you might do that.

01:07:31.740 So there you go. Thank you for the object lesson.

01:07:35.300 All right, guys, that's all we've got today. Hope, uh, hope we answered those questions for

01:07:39.380 you. We've got a, we've got a backlog for the next week or two. So we'll be able to answer

01:07:42.440 those questions next week and, uh, we'll get after it. Kip and I this week are going to be

01:07:46.540 with, uh, 20 fathers and 20 sons from all over the nation, flying in, doing some meditation and

01:07:51.760 some yoga and some chakra tapping into and whatever. I don't even know how to say that.

01:07:57.940 It's said another way. We're shooting each other with airsoft guns. 0.93

01:08:01.340 That's right. And we got some really cool new experiences that I won't talk about.

01:08:06.680 You have to be here to experience it. All right, guys, that's it. Uh, until let's see,

01:08:11.040 what do we got Friday, Friday for our Friday field notes, go out there, take action and become the

01:08:14.460 man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:08:19.580 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:08:24.240 of man.com.

Order of Man - April 10, 2019

Avoiding Burnout, Inspiring Yourself, and Balancing Satisfaction and Ambition ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript