Order of Man - Be Less Insecure ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 purge all of it purge the booze from your house purge the access to pornography those people that

00:00:06.320 you're following that don't make you feel good about who you are and how you're showing up i

00:00:10.540 don't care if you're quote unquote supposed to follow them even me if you follow me and every

00:00:15.480 time you see something i post and you wonder yourself why don't i have what ryan has block

00:00:20.260 me delete me unfollow unsubscribe create systems create processes if you want a resource on that

00:00:26.060 go look at james clear's book atomic habits you're a man of action you live life to the fullest

00:00:34.280 embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path when life knocks you down you get back up one more

00:00:40.300 time every time you are not easily deterred or defeated rugged resilient strong this is your

00:00:47.540 life this is who you are this is who you will become at the end of the day and after all is said and

00:00:53.640 done you can call yourself a man men today i want to talk with you about being less insecure

00:01:01.500 uh as i talk with men who listen to this podcast you send me messages and send me emails and even

00:01:08.080 the interactions i have on a daily basis with people in proximity to me uh it had become readily apparent

00:01:15.500 that there are a lot of men who are very insecure uh they're insecure with the relationship they have

00:01:21.720 with women they're insecure with regards to their finances to the way that they feel to the way they show 1.00

00:01:27.260 up and the problem with being insecure is that you are less relevant as a man not only are you not

00:01:34.740 showing up fully for your family for your kids for your clients and colleagues and co-workers but you also

00:01:41.640 feel inferior and it's likely that if you feel any sort of insecurity in your life you're not achieving the

00:01:49.260 level of fulfillment satisfaction and purpose that you desire so i want to talk with you about five

00:01:55.740 things that you can do uh that are maybe a little not counterintuitive necessarily but that you may not

00:02:02.540 obviously know that will help bolster and improve your level of security and comfort with yourself

00:02:08.780 this is very much in alignment with our concept of sovereignty which is being free being free of financial

00:02:16.120 constraint of emotional constraint of emotional constraint spiritual constraint the dictates of

00:02:21.400 others the whims of the doctrine of popular culture and making decisions for yourself and on your own

00:02:28.280 so without any sort of other announcements or anything like that let's get right into it today and

00:02:35.120 i can tie some resources that we have into it number one is man we need to become financially free

00:02:40.860 we are enslaved to debt most people most men are enslaved to creditors we are at the whims and

00:02:51.340 the mercies of the markets we're at the whims and the mercies of what our employers may or may not do

00:02:59.460 and and some of us will say well you know my job i have a secure job or i don't have a secure job 0.81

00:03:04.620 it's it's deeper than that it's the fact that if your boss makes a dumb decision because he's an 1.00

00:03:11.020 idiot or a moron that you are actually subject your financial prosperity is subject to the decisions 1.00

00:03:19.440 that he makes are are you okay with that and if you don't have money in the bank account and you don't 1.00

00:03:27.480 know how to manage your finances and you don't know how much money's coming in versus how much going out

00:03:32.220 you have no discipline regarding your spending or your purchasing are you really going to be secure

00:03:38.920 with your life of course not of course you're going to be easy uneasy excuse me of course you're going to

00:03:44.480 be frustrated with your lack of financial provision of course you're going to play the victim card when

00:03:52.020 opportunities financial opportunities pass you by because you're not in a position to take advantage of

00:03:56.560 them and look i'm not casting stones i've been there i've been in situations more in my life where

00:04:03.560 i wasn't making any money i couldn't even rub two nickels together and then every time i saw somebody

00:04:09.140 else succeeding financially i thought it i was the victim i thought it was at the expense of somebody

00:04:15.580 else or people were getting theirs and i wasn't getting mine and what i realized is that's not the case i was

00:04:23.780 just not making great decisions now granted if you're young sometimes it just takes time to build

00:04:28.960 wealth and part of that is is a factor of the equation but unless you know where your money's

00:04:35.920 going and you're prudent with your decisions and you're intelligent about how you deploy your financial

00:04:40.960 resources and and not acquiring debt and not paying for unnecessary things and not living a lavish

00:04:49.440 lifestyle that you have not yet earned of course you're going to be uneasy i think it's better that

00:04:56.180 you don't go spend money that you don't do the lavish trips or the lavish purchases and vacations and

00:05:02.600 the expenses that come up you don't need to impress me you don't need to impress your family or your

00:05:09.580 friends or colleagues or co-workers most people just don't care and even if you show up with that new

00:05:16.160 95 000 truck people are going to think you're cool for about 20 minutes until they get wrapped up and

00:05:22.320 consumed in their own lives and here you are burdened with an 800 a thousand a 1200 car payment think about

00:05:29.460 that for a second a 1200 truck payment bro that's a mortgage you you could find a property and and buy it

00:05:41.940 with 20 000 and create some additional revenue and rental income and you spend it on a depreciating

00:05:52.000 asset something that cost you 95 000 and the minute you drive it away it's now worth 75 000 and then you

00:05:59.000 paid 105 000 for it because of of interest and then when it's all paid off it's now worth 25 000 0.97

00:06:06.540 and in what universe is that a prudent decision of course it's not a prudent decision it's a dumb

00:06:17.040 decision be smart with your money be smart with your economic resources and by the way the the more

00:06:23.780 intelligent you are with those resources the more that you're going to develop and build those

00:06:28.500 resources and the more abundance and prosperity will be given to you all right number two you need

00:06:33.500 to be physically fit we talk about this all the time you have to get your diet in check get your

00:06:39.240 nutrition in check get your sleep in check be training on a daily basis i do strength training

00:06:45.980 the last three weeks i've been doing a bit more running because i'm dedicated to participating in some

00:06:53.320 running events later in the year but i train every day and i i've even got a treadmill back here that

00:07:01.960 when i'm on phone calls throughout the day i jump on my treadmill and i get my steps in

00:07:07.440 because training is important i wake up at five thirty every morning i go train i go work out i go get my

00:07:15.400 run in and because it's important it's important that i can use my body it's important that i

00:07:22.220 do something difficult early in the morning it's important that i show that level of discipline to

00:07:28.760 myself and when i do not only do i look better physically but i just feel better because i

00:07:35.060 showed up and i did what i said i was going to do and that's the bottom line men all of you know to

00:07:42.780 work out you've been listening to this podcast some of you for 10 years now and have heard me talk

00:07:47.340 about this ad nauseum and yet some of you don't do it and you'll question why don't i feel good about

00:07:54.260 myself and by the way it isn't about how you look i mean sure that's a component of it but it's the

00:08:00.740 work that you do the way you look is just the inevitable result of the work that you've done

00:08:05.780 so if you're overweight yeah you're carrying 45 50 60 100 pounds extra on your body at all times

00:08:15.840 of course you're not going to be very secure with who you are your clothes aren't going to fit right

00:08:20.600 you're going to worry about what people think of you you're not going to be interested in 0.81

00:08:24.860 approaching women you're certainly not going to be interested in initiating sex with the woman 1.00

00:08:29.240 that's in your life because you're worried about how you look and you're worried about how you feel

00:08:35.200 and you're worried about the way that she might perceive you and probably for some of you she's not

00:08:42.300 off base and that terrifies you and it ought to terrify you but the question is what are you going

00:08:48.400 to do about it the answer is get yourself in check physically all right number three dress and look 0.81

00:08:54.900 good and whenever i i say this i'm always met with a bunch of guys these are losers these are guys who

00:09:02.520 don't think their appearance matters these are guys who don't understand the value of influence

00:09:07.660 these are the guys who live in fantasy land but don't really deal in in reality that say well the way i

00:09:15.100 look shouldn't matter well it does okay like you can complain about the way you look and you shouldn't

00:09:21.160 judge a book by its cover and uh you know i wish more people were accepting and people shouldn't judge

00:09:26.760 like that's all fairy tale bullshit the reality is people judge people are looking at you what are you 0.73

00:09:35.660 wearing what how is your beard groomed like what does your hair look like what does your style and 0.97

00:09:41.800 your fashion say about you what is the way that you uh communicate say about who you are how are you

00:09:49.300 presenting yourself what does your vocabulary look like what is your cadence and tone and pitch um how

00:09:55.420 how clear are you with your message all of this stuff matters and if you say it doesn't you're either lying

00:10:04.400 or you're leaving a lot of room on the table for influence and all of us as men should be developing

00:10:09.440 influence i actually want to be influential now some people might say well that's not a virtuous

00:10:16.580 you you want to be influential i can't believe you like because they think it's some sort of external

00:10:22.220 validation for me no it's not it's the fact that i care about people the more influential i am the

00:10:28.740 better off that i can serve people and not to be blasphemous here or even compare myself to but

00:10:34.220 if you take somebody like jesus christ i don't think he would disagree with that

00:10:38.700 christ would suggest that we all develop a level of influence righteous moral influence

00:10:48.360 so that we can bring people to lead and live a better life isn't that what you want and so if you

00:10:56.380 mope around and you show up in sweats at the airport and uh you go to your job with wrinkled clothes or

00:11:03.580 you have maybe maybe you're a professional maybe you're a cpa or a physician or an attorney and you

00:11:12.040 show up in you know a pair of jeans and a wrinkled old gross polo shirt

00:11:18.580 like do you think people are going to take you seriously and also are you going to take yourself

00:11:27.040 seriously i had a coach and i've shared this many times on this podcast when i was in high school and

00:11:33.000 we were playing baseball we always had the best uniforms the the best of the best every year it was

00:11:39.300 a new uniform we as players were required to pay for them and or raise funds to help ourselves pay

00:11:45.860 for those or help other players who needed to pay for them and we always had the newest and the

00:11:50.080 latest and the greatest uniforms and we always looked awesome and our coach would say if you look good

00:11:56.480 you play good and that's true if you're lean and tone and strong and you're wearing clothes that are

00:12:06.040 intentional and deliberate regarding the message that you want to communicate to people

00:12:10.000 and you're dressed for the occasion and you're respecting and honoring the places and circumstances

00:12:18.160 you find yourself in of course you're going to feel better about yourself and you're not going to

00:12:22.240 feel so weird or insecure have you ever showed up to a party underdressed tell me how you feel

00:12:29.760 you don't feel great you feel awkward you feel out of place but if you go dressed not to the nines

00:12:36.800 i'm not saying you need to wear a three-piece suit everywhere you go but if you have the right

00:12:40.420 attire and you're respecting the environment that you're in don't you automatically feel better about

00:12:46.060 yourself and when you do what kind of conversations are you having what kind of connections are you

00:12:51.420 making what kind of relationships are you forging of course better ones than showing up to the gala and

00:12:57.900 sweats and crocs and an old baggy t-shirt that's wrinkled and has full of holes that you've had for the

00:13:03.100 past 25 years because that shirt is good luck don't do that take care of yourself look good look

00:13:12.320 the part honor the people and the circumstances you find yourself in front of all right number four

00:13:18.760 i said remove insecurities here a little bit of a circular logic but let me tell you what i mean

00:13:23.360 what i mean is that there's vices that all of us have maybe it's alcohol abuse which it has been

00:13:29.100 for me in my past uh in in my past several years uh maybe it's pornography addiction maybe it's

00:13:36.960 addiction to social media maybe it's an addiction to certain people that you compare yourself to when

00:13:44.780 you feel inferior when you see those people purge that purge all of it purge all of it purge the booze

00:13:53.580 from your house purge the access to pornography those people that you're following that don't

00:13:59.060 make you feel good about who you are and how you're showing up i don't care if you're quote unquote

00:14:03.520 supposed to follow them even me if you follow me and every time you see something i post and you

00:14:08.680 wonder yourself why don't i have what ryan has block me delete me unfollow unsubscribe i don't i don't

00:14:15.440 really want you to be insecure because you happen to be following me or joe rogan or jocko

00:14:20.740 willink or any number of people that even i follow and sometimes catch myself falling into

00:14:26.900 comparison trap against there's people that i've just purged i've just blocked it's not anything

00:14:32.320 against them i like them i i think they're doing great things but i don't feel good when i see their

00:14:39.620 stuff because i am comparing myself to them i wasn't feeling good when i drank because i knew i should be

00:14:48.460 doing more i don't feel good when i'm lazy or when i sleep in or when i slack off or i eat a bunch of

00:14:55.960 junk food around the house because i know that's not in alignment with the kind of man that i have a

00:15:00.260 desire to be and some people might say well it's weakness you can't just uh fight against those

00:15:06.340 temptations why would i do that why would i purposely introduce temptations into my life whether

00:15:14.480 it's pornography or alcohol or bad food or bad people just to prove that i'm capable of

00:15:20.900 fighting against it that's ridiculous that's silly the best thing that you can do is not have to use

00:15:29.240 any sort of brain power to fight against these things but just not to allow those temptations

00:15:33.320 into your life at all when i don't have alcohol in the house that's a pretty good thing when i'm not

00:15:38.900 tempted by pornography that's a pretty good thing when i'm not tempted by people that i can compare

00:15:45.060 myself to and fall into a comparison trap that's a pretty good thing when i'm not spending time with

00:15:50.460 losers and people who get me to feel sorry about myself or my station in life that's a pretty good 0.97

00:15:55.340 thing so i'd rather deal with it ahead of time than have to deal with the willpower required to fight

00:16:03.920 against the things i know are not conducive and constructive to my own well-being

00:16:09.460 create systems create processes if you want a resource on that go look at uh james clear's book

00:16:16.680 atomic habits and i i can't remember exactly what he says but you know everybody talks about motivation

00:16:23.900 is not being a superior way of of getting what you need um and i would agree with that and most people

00:16:31.540 say discipline is better i think it is better than motivation at least it lasts longer but even

00:16:38.180 discipline is fleeting we know scientifically it's been proven through studies that our willpower is like

00:16:45.240 a like the gas tank in a vehicle the more you drive the more gas you burn and the more you have to

00:16:54.700 exercise willpower the less you have of it until you're able to recharge or refuel

00:16:59.440 so why would i exert a bunch of willpower on doing or fighting against things i know i've committed

00:17:06.800 to not doing just create systems and then i can take that willpower and deploy it towards something

00:17:12.340 that's going to help me be more secure and produce greater benefits for myself and the people that i love

00:17:17.180 and then number five being a man of conviction

00:17:20.780 to me being a man of conviction means that you're willing to do what you say you're going to do

00:17:27.780 are you convicted in your beliefs so if you say you're going to wake up at 5 a.m

00:17:34.180 are you a man of conviction or are you a liar i've been both and i am every day i'm not saying i'm 0.58

00:17:41.360 perfect by any means every day i'm a little bit of a liar and i'm a little bit of a man of conviction

00:17:46.660 my objective and my goal is to be more of a man of conviction than i was yesterday 0.66

00:17:52.400 so if i say i'm going to wake up at five damn it i'm going to wake up at five 0.67

00:17:56.260 if i say i'm going to follow through on a task or an email or a commitment or an assignment or a 0.96

00:18:03.960 letter or a podcast or whatever it might be then damn i'm going to do everything i can to make sure

00:18:07.860 that gets done and when i fall short and i do i make amends i apologize if other people are affected 0.73

00:18:15.380 by it and i recommit to the standard of conviction

00:18:20.560 the more that i am in alignment with myself and the more i hold myself accountable and the more that

00:18:28.440 i honor my own word and do not betray myself the more secure i am and the less relevant other

00:18:37.400 people's opinions of me become and isn't that the point i i want to be a sovereign man i don't want to

00:18:43.300 be subject to the whims of other people i don't want to be subject to the way people might ask me to

00:18:54.100 sacrifice my own principles and values

00:18:56.840 i don't want to be validated by my kids or a woman or a boss or my friends i'm not interested in that 0.84

00:19:09.240 i'm interested in knowing that i'm doing all that i can do to be the man that i want to become because

00:19:15.760 i know what that looks like and i'm doing these five things i'm financially free i'm physically fit

00:19:20.300 i'm dressing the part i'm looking good i'm removing the insecurities and temptations in my life

00:19:25.620 and i'm working on becoming a man of conviction when you do that you will be unstoppable

00:19:29.720 for those of you who have self-esteem issues and confidence issues this is the way this is the path

00:19:35.800 simple not always easy simple do these five things daily how are you becoming more financially free

00:19:45.520 you paying off debt tracking your money refraining from buying things you don't need did you work out

00:19:53.220 did you train today if you didn't go do it are you dressing and looking good are you working on your

00:19:57.640 vocabulary you look working on your wardrobe um are you working on your grooming are you seeing what's

00:20:02.860 in trend and what's in style or are you just completely oblivious to it and you don't give a 0.53

00:20:07.520 rat's ass about it are you shutting off the temptations in your life are you acknowledging 0.98

00:20:15.040 what you're susceptible to if you can't acknowledge that you can't shut it off be honest it's a porn 1.00

00:20:20.460 is it substance abuse to certain people certain behaviors access to the internet like what what's the

00:20:28.920 issue whatever it is figure it out and then come up with a plan to to remove that temptation and last

00:20:35.660 is be convicted it's easy to run our mouths and spout off about things we want to do it's

00:20:42.340 significantly harder to actually do them but that's what it means to be a man of conviction that your

00:20:47.220 actions are aligned with your words and thoughts i hope that serves you guys if you have other thoughts

00:20:53.380 on this please let me know shoot me an email shoot me a direct message on instagram at ryan michler m-i-c-h-l-e-r

00:21:00.940 and also share this if there's a friend that you know who's struggling and having a hard time and needs to

00:21:07.120 improve in his life then share this with him and hopefully together you can become more secure which

00:21:14.460 ultimately means that you'll be able to serve more people in your life and you'll that will lead to a path

00:21:19.820 of satisfaction and fulfillment in yours it's purpose and isn't that what we all want to feel

00:21:26.300 valuable to have purpose and to serve other people that's the core of what it means to be a man at least

00:21:31.920 from where i sit all right guys we'll be back next week for our interview until then go out there

00:21:36.540 take action be less insecure and become the man you are meant to be

00:21:41.880 thank you for listening to the order of man podcast you're ready to take charge of your life

00:21:51.320 and be more of the man you were meant to be we invite you to join the order at order of man.com

00:21:56.920 you

Order of Man - February 21, 2025

Be Less Insecure ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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