Order of Man - Be the Anchor ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.020 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.820 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast. If you've been with

00:00:28.080 us for any amount of time, it's likely to know what we're all about here. But if you

00:00:31.680 are new to this podcast and this movement, what I want you to know is that this is designed

00:00:39.540 to explore the concepts of masculinity and help us understand better what it means to be

00:00:45.300 a man. And of course, take action towards improving ourselves and our capability and effectiveness

00:00:50.020 as fathers and husbands and business owners and community leaders. And so we've got this

00:00:55.280 incredible resource here, the podcast where we've interviewed guys like Jocko Willink and

00:00:59.460 David Goggins and Steve Rinella and Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, Robert Green a couple of weeks ago.

00:01:06.220 The men that have decided to band with us in one form or another is absolutely incredible

00:01:12.020 and a testament to the fact that the work we're doing here is much needed in this society that

00:01:16.120 is at best increasingly dismissive of men and masculinity and at worse attempting to undermine

00:01:26.240 and erode what it is that we as men represent in our families and in our communities. And that's

00:01:32.460 exactly what I wanted to talk with you about today. The other day I got exploring and thinking about

00:01:37.000 the concept of an anchor. And I started thinking about this because as many of you know, we're building

00:01:42.180 the canoe. And I started thinking about the elements of the canoe and everything else. And although we

00:01:48.320 don't have an anchor on the canoe, it's an element of boating. And I started thinking about anchors and

00:01:54.000 how they're built and why they're built and shape the way they are. And because this is what I do,

00:01:58.520 I geek out on some of this stuff. And so I started to explore and do a little research. And I started to

00:02:03.580 think about also how being an anchor relates to us as men. In fact, it's our job to be the anchor for

00:02:10.420 our families and those in the community. Because if we aren't present, if we aren't the anchor to the

00:02:18.920 ship, then it's very easy for that ship. Let's just assume for a second that it's your family. It's

00:02:24.820 very easy for your family, your wife, your children, the people under your care to get knocked off course,

00:02:29.540 to be drifting by the doctrine of popular culture, which says that you can choose whichever gender you

00:02:36.740 want to be sexualizing of children, introducing them to drugs and alcohol and pornography. And 0.52

00:02:44.520 this is what I have dubbed the doctrine of popular culture. It doesn't serve us well.

00:02:49.980 And if we're going to go on my continued analogy of the anchor, the doctrine of popular culture, 0.99

00:02:54.620 which is a degenerate society, it says that you can be weak and fat and lazy and pathetic, and 0.99

00:03:00.580 it's encouraged. And if you have any mistakes that you make along the way, you don't have to deal with 0.99

00:03:06.920 the consequences. Somebody or the government will come in and bail you out. And there is no long-term

00:03:12.400 ramifications for the decisions that you make. This is the doctrine of popular culture.

00:03:16.800 And along the lines of the analogy of the anchor, this is the wind. This is the drift of the sea.

00:03:23.460 These are the forces at work against us. So if you're a father, I imagine that your goal is to

00:03:30.740 lead your wife and your children effectively so that you can raise self-sufficient, strong, capable

00:03:36.780 sons and daughters to go out and lead their families and their communities well when the time comes.

00:03:42.880 And the doctrine of popular culture doesn't want that. They don't want strong, independent

00:03:49.100 young men and young women going out into their communities, going out into the workforce. They

00:03:54.440 want them to be subjected to their, their rule and their dominion and power. And I'm not interested in

00:04:03.000 that for my family. So I have to be the anchor. I have to step up. I have to be strong. I have to be

00:04:09.460 capable. I have to fashion myself in a certain way so that I can do what it is I want to do, which is to

00:04:15.220 keep that ship where it needs to be and not drift along, just toss to and fro based on every whim

00:04:22.200 and feeling and, and, and idea of this, this doctrine of popular culture. So as I started to

00:04:30.720 explore what it means to be an anchor, uh, I looked at the weight of anchors. I looked at the shape of

00:04:37.040 anchors and I always wondered why they had that little, the little arm, the arms on the bottom.

00:04:41.640 You typically will see two arms on an anchor. There's different types, but that's typically

00:04:45.360 what you'll see. And I actually had no idea that that actually dug into the ground that you actually

00:04:51.540 have to set the hook of the anchor. So the sea captain will, uh, there's different types of

00:04:57.300 anchors. There's sea anchors. There's anchors that, that anchor themselves actually to the bottom of,

00:05:02.000 uh, uh, of the seabed. And this is what I'm talking about in particular, but that captain will

00:05:07.280 actually set the hook of the anchor into the bedrock of, of the sea floor. I had no idea that

00:05:13.540 that was the case. And that's what we need to do. I thought it was just a heavy weight and it just

00:05:17.340 kept it there, but no, you, you set the hook of the, of the anchor, you drop it down, you set it in

00:05:23.340 there and you bury that into the bedrock of the sea floor so that that boat is not going to go

00:05:28.700 anywhere. And that's what we need to do. You think about the way that anchors are built and the iron

00:05:33.620 that they're constructed of and how they've, uh, evolved and, and, and changed and morphed in order

00:05:39.540 to be more effective over time. That's what we need to be guys. We need to be strong and capable

00:05:44.320 and efficient. We need to know what our role is. We need to be able to withstand the, the, the winds

00:05:50.540 of, of change. And, and again, this doctrine of popular culture, but we also need to set the hook.

00:05:57.240 What does that mean in our own lives? It means that you need to have a method for grounding yourself.

00:06:04.280 Because if you don't, you are going to get distracted. You are going to be tempted and

00:06:09.400 you're not going to do your job. You're going to be weak and you're going to be pathetic. 1.00

00:06:12.500 And you're going to undermine what it is you're trying to do. You're going to succumb to addiction 1.00

00:06:17.400 and pornography and alcohol and potentially lust for other women. And you're going to get yourself

00:06:23.700 into a world of hurt, not let alone the people that you're trying to serve. So how do we set the

00:06:29.420 hook when it comes to the anchor in our own personal lives? It's very simple. It's very,

00:06:34.460 very simple. It's definitely harder to implement, but the strategy is simple. There's two main

00:06:41.020 components of this. All right. Number one, you've got to have a solid tribe. You have to have a solid

00:06:47.900 tribe because I'm telling you, there are forces at work against you, some deliberate and intentional,

00:06:54.020 and some just the nature of life itself. There are forces at work against you. And if you don't

00:07:02.020 have a tribe in your corner, anchoring you to the sea floor, to the foundational principles

00:07:07.780 of what it means to be a man and a father and a husband and a leader within your community,

00:07:13.620 potentially a business owner, an entrepreneur, or a politician, or you're serving some sort of

00:07:18.260 church or spiritual services. If you don't have that tribe, you're not going to be nearly as strong

00:07:23.800 and you're going to break and you're going to crack and you weren't going to do your job.

00:07:27.580 It's going to happen slowly, methodically, gradually, and over time, but your strength will be

00:07:35.440 compromised. And look, I get it. Sometimes it's hard. Every time I talk about building a tribe

00:07:40.760 and working with a band of brothers and having other men in your corner, inevitably I have some

00:07:44.940 men who say, well, you know, I'm an alpha or I'm an omega. And they use these Greek letters from the

00:07:52.180 alphabet to describe themselves. Anytime somebody does that, you always take what they say with a

00:07:57.860 grain of salt, but I don't need anybody in my corner. I can do this on my own. Well, that just

00:08:02.660 isn't true. It hasn't been true for as long as human beings have been walking this planet.

00:08:09.140 We are social creatures. We work best in tribes, in communities. We play on team sports. We work

00:08:17.300 collectively together and we're stronger and we're more capable and effective when we do that.

00:08:22.840 You know, I remember sports as I was younger, we had guys that we need to give the proverbial and 0.98

00:08:27.980 sometimes literal kick in the ass to get them going. And sometimes I needed that too. 0.98

00:08:31.740 And without somebody in my corner, I just wouldn't have been as effective or capable.

00:08:36.120 And then knowing that I'm part of a team when I was in the military, knowing that I was part of a

00:08:40.640 team and that I had a responsibility and something that I needed to do because I knew other people

00:08:45.660 relying upon me, it made me stronger. It made me more capable. And it gave me a greater desire to be

00:08:50.760 able to step up and do what needed to be done because not only did I want to not want to let myself

00:08:55.280 down, I didn't want to let the team down. So guys, you have to have a tribe. You have to have a

00:09:00.220 band of brothers. You have to have strong men in your corner. And this is how you set the hook.

00:09:05.760 This is how you anchor yourself to the foundational principles and roles and responsibilities that you

00:09:13.280 have and have a desire to fill. Find good men in your corner. I know it's been perpetuated by

00:09:18.400 Hollywood and social media and the entertainment industry that the lone wolf is the way to go.

00:09:24.180 Be James Bond or be Jason Bourne or be the Marlboro man or any number of guys that I think a lot of us

00:09:30.880 would maybe perceive as the epitome of masculinity. And I'm telling you, it isn't right. Could you go

00:09:37.760 at it alone? Maybe to some degree, but I'm interested in going further, faster, more effectively,

00:09:44.160 more efficiently. And I don't want to be tempted by the things that I know are not going to serve me

00:09:49.240 well. Pornography, alcohol, drug addiction, lust, the desire just to be mediocre and lazy and want

00:09:57.620 the result without the efforts. This is, again, the doctrine of popular culture. It's the current,

00:10:02.260 it's the drift, it's the wind of the doctrine of popular culture. I need good men to anchor myself

00:10:07.040 to. So inventory your circle, inventory your life. See if you have these types of individuals.

00:10:13.680 And one thing I noticed when I was doing some research on anchors themselves is you actually

00:10:20.600 have to set the hook in a, in a, in the right place, in a, in a, in a sea floor that just won't

00:10:27.380 give way. And so, so many of us might say, well, I, Ryan, I have guys in my corner. I have friends.

00:10:34.700 These are friends from high school, or these are people I work with, or these are neighbors. And I

00:10:38.000 have friends and, and you know, they're, they're, they're my tribe. Well, are, is it a good tribe?

00:10:44.580 Cause I'm not just talking about warm bodies. I'm talking about the highest caliber men that you

00:10:48.640 could possibly have. That's what I want in my life. So I inventory my life and I constantly strive to

00:10:54.320 surround myself with other men. That's part of the reason I do this podcast because I get to have

00:10:59.580 conversations with world-class performers, sports, entertainment, business, family, finances,

00:11:07.060 et cetera, et cetera. And these are the men that I get to say are my bedrock that I can set the hook

00:11:13.900 into. And they're going to hold me accountable and they're going to ensure that I'm doing the

00:11:17.900 right things. So that's number one. Number two, it's the information that you put into your brain.

00:11:24.120 All right. If you're constantly feeding your mind, a bunch of garbage and filth and that, 0.98

00:11:28.580 that propaganda, we'll call it from the doctrine of popular culture, you're just hacking away on social 0.98

00:11:35.240 media. You're, you're watching all the movies, you're watching all the videos and you're just

00:11:39.860 going by default. That's not strong. That's weak. That's pathetic. That's lazy. And it's a detriment

00:11:48.260 to your own wellbeing because it says that you can be fat, that you can be lazy, that you can be 0.99

00:11:54.800 pathetic, that you don't have to deal with the consequences of your decisions, that you can cheat, 0.98

00:11:58.800 that you can lie, that you can steal, that you can get addicted to substances. And all of that is okay 1.00

00:12:03.460 because life's hard. And so it's okay. It's not okay. It's not okay to behave like that. And you

00:12:10.080 know, it isn't because you wouldn't be listening to this podcast, trying to improve yourself as a

00:12:13.620 man. If you actually believe that was the case. Now I'll give you this. It's easier. It's easier

00:12:19.880 not to be the anchor. It's easier to get on the ship and just be a passenger and just let the drift

00:12:24.520 take you where it needs to go. There's, there's no force working against you, or there's no strain

00:12:29.680 that you have to exert in order to just drift and coast with the winds and the seas. That's

00:12:34.380 easier. That's what most people will do. That's what boys will do. Males will do that. Men resist 0.83

00:12:40.020 that. And they have systems in place. Part of that is the tribe. And the other part is the information

00:12:44.440 that they're consuming. Are you deliberate about the information that you're consuming? What kind of

00:12:49.740 books are you reading? What kind of podcasts are you listening to? What newsletters, email

00:12:54.280 newsletters have you signed up for? Who do you claim to be authority figures? Who are you learning

00:13:01.520 from? Are these righteous individuals that you're learning positive values that are going to serve

00:13:06.840 you and others well? Or are you learning from those who want you to veer off course and want you to go

00:13:14.000 their way? Because look, you're going to follow a plan. There's no doubt you're going to follow

00:13:18.560 somebody else's plan or your plan. And in order to sink your teeth, to set that, that anchor yourself,

00:13:25.240 where it needs to be firmly planted in the bedrock of the sea floor, you got to have a tribe and you

00:13:31.520 got to have the information to keep you on track. A lot of us will say, well, you know, I'm strong.

00:13:37.340 I'm strong. I can resist. I'm strong. Well, yeah, maybe for how long we know willpower is fleeting.

00:13:43.380 So without the framework and the network, how long can you stay? How long can you withstand the

00:13:50.780 nature, the forces of nature at work against you? Some more than others. I don't know how long it is

00:13:57.300 for you, but my goal is to be there as long as it needs to be. I need to hold as long as I need to

00:14:03.260 hold. And the people on the ship relying upon me need to know that I'm not going to be jeopardized.

00:14:13.860 That I'm not going to break when the situation calls for it or when they need me to be as strong

00:14:21.780 as I possibly can. And there's only two general ways to do that. The people you surround yourself

00:14:26.660 with in the information that you put into your head. Part of what you're doing listening to this

00:14:31.460 podcast is the information you're putting in your head and that's good. But guys, I want you to wrap

00:14:35.340 your head around the anchor, wrap your head around that metaphor and why being that way is ultimately

00:14:40.940 going to serve you and others well. It's hard. There's forces at work against you. Some deliberate

00:14:47.320 and intentional and some just the nature of the world, the nature of the way that it works.

00:14:53.240 But those forces are real. They want you to falter. They want you to break. They want you to bend.

00:15:01.040 They want you to fail at your job of keeping your family and your community members, your employees,

00:15:06.280 your people will say safe and protected and secure and on the right path. And guys, sometimes we need

00:15:12.640 to pull the anchor up, right? Sometimes we need to go somewhere by design, not by default, but by design,

00:15:21.580 we need to move our families across the country, for example, or take a new job or maybe change

00:15:29.220 priorities a little bit because there's some events that have come up like the response to COVID. And so

00:15:36.200 you need to adjust and pivot for that. So we can pull ourselves up, but it's on our time.

00:15:42.160 It's not because we break the, our integrity is lacking. It's on our time. And then we set sail for

00:15:48.120 whatever we need to set sail. And then we become more of the sail or the motor of the boat. And then at

00:15:52.540 times we need to again, establish ourselves as the anchor. So guys, that's my metaphor. I got to play

00:15:57.880 around with that metaphor a little bit more, but I was thinking about that over the past week and

00:16:01.780 something that really struck, struck home for me is, am I strong enough? Am I capable enough? Can I

00:16:07.660 keep the ship at bay? Can I keep it from drifting and tossing to and fro with the doctrine of popular

00:16:13.260 culture? I'm not going to tell you that I had this all locked down perfectly, but I realized the

00:16:18.560 importance of it. I'm trying to become stronger and more capable. I think you're trying to do the same

00:16:22.580 and we can do this together. And that's always been the goal of order of man is to do this together.

00:16:27.280 You know, no man is an Island. No man is meant to walk this thing we call life alone. So this

00:16:35.260 movement has really been a goal to band men together who want to thrive, who want to succeed,

00:16:42.660 who want to excel, who want to act as the anchor for the people in their lives. And we're trying to

00:16:48.200 provide those resources and tools to you. So with that said, we'll sign out for the week.

00:16:56.700 We've got a couple of good podcasts coming up guys, just recorded with Granger Smith. A lot of you

00:17:02.100 guys might know his alter ego, which is Earl Dibbles Jr. So that one's going to be coming out in the

00:17:07.540 next week or two. Also, we just recorded a podcast with Ethan Supley. He is an actor. A lot of you guys

00:17:15.820 may know him from, uh, remember the Titans, uh, without a paddle. He's been on probably two dozen

00:17:23.300 other movies, uh, and his fitness journey over the past several years has just been absolutely

00:17:30.540 incredible. He's got a great podcast called the American glutton podcast. So, uh, he just recorded

00:17:36.100 with us. So we've got some good ones coming out. Make sure do a couple of things, subscribe to the

00:17:39.780 podcast. So you never miss an episode and then leave a rating and review. I know that doesn't seem like a

00:17:44.060 lot, but I can assure you that goes a long way in getting us to climb the charts within iTunes.

00:17:50.280 And then of course that gets this message of becoming a more effective, more capable man

00:17:55.040 to the masses and the masses need to hear this. And by the way, as we become the anchor of ourselves and

00:18:00.520 our families and our friends as lives, uh, we can also help turn the tide, turn the drift.

00:18:06.780 Uh, we do that by changing culture. And even if that means the culture of your business or your

00:18:12.740 family or your community or your neighborhood, but that gradually expands outwards. And the more

00:18:17.200 people we can get involved in this mission, this noble mission and noble work to reclaim

00:18:21.700 and restore masculinity, uh, the better off that everybody, every single person is going to be.

00:18:28.400 So I appreciate you being on this path with me. Uh, again, we'll be back next week. So subscribe,

00:18:33.040 but until then go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:18:37.560 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:18:42.160 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 12, 2021

Be the Anchor ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript