Order of Man - Become a Man of Value ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.720 Man, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.

00:00:31.960 I don't care how you found us. I don't care how long you've been here. I want to welcome you.

00:00:35.660 This is a show about being a better man and ultimately reclaiming and restoring what it means to be a man in a very strange society in which we live when it comes to masculinity and manliness in general.

00:00:48.840 So it's my goal to bring on some incredibly successful and interesting guests to impart some of their wisdom, extract some of their information and knowledge.

00:00:56.520 And then, of course, that will help us achieve more in our lives as husbands and fathers, business owners, community leaders, wherever you're showing up as a man.

00:01:05.280 And I want to welcome you again today, and I want to thank you for being on this journey.

00:01:09.380 We could not do this without you, and it's pretty cool to see the podcast growing.

00:01:13.780 Over the past, man, six months or so has really, really taken off. So I do appreciate you sharing the podcast, sharing the message.

00:01:21.620 I would encourage you to do that more. If you haven't left us a review, we're almost at, I believe, 2,000 ratings and reviews now on iTunes.

00:01:29.420 So keep those coming. Want to break, of course, the 2,000 mark. And then the more that you do, it's just a small way to say thank you.

00:01:36.300 I mean, it really is just a very quick and simple way to say thank you. Hopefully we've added some value in your life.

00:01:41.440 And if we have, then please do that. Take some time, leave a review, share this message with your dad, your brothers, your colleagues, your co-workers, your cousins,

00:01:49.020 whoever it may be that needs to hear the message of reclaiming and restoring what it means to be a man in this very strange society in which we live.

00:01:58.440 Anyways, guys, I've got a great one lined up for you today. It's on becoming a man of value.

00:02:03.220 That's what I want to talk with you about today. And we're going to get into what a man of value is.

00:02:07.380 I'm going to talk with you about a three-step process or strategy, if you will, for becoming more valuable.

00:02:15.160 And we'll be able to hash some of this out. And if you would, please join us in our Facebook group,

00:02:19.480 because we're going to have conversations about this and other subjects that we're having and talking about the discussions that we're having in that Facebook group,

00:02:27.240 facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. And then we can continue the conversation over there.

00:02:33.200 Uh, but before I do, and on the topic of value, I want to mention my friends and show sponsors origin, Maine guys,

00:02:41.760 I've got a 10% discount on any of their stuff. And when I say stuff, I'm talking about their supplements.

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00:03:04.820 If I'm misspeaking there, then they need to come out with one. Uh, also rash guards, geese, lifestyle apparel.

00:03:11.280 It's starting to get cold. My wife stole my origin hoodie because it is unbelievably comfortable and warm.

00:03:16.880 She commandeered that from me. So Pete, if you're listening, I need another hoodie.

00:03:21.100 Anyways, guys, go check it out. Go to origin, Maine.com origin, Maine.com.

00:03:25.320 Check out their supplements, check out their geese, check out the rash guards. And of course,

00:03:28.740 the lifestyle apparel origin, Maine.com. And then to get that discount of 10%,

00:03:33.580 use the code order, O-R-D-E-R at checkout for the 10% discount. All right, guys, let's get into

00:03:40.280 this discussion about value. I mean, if you look around for any amount of time and you don't have

00:03:45.800 to look very hard, but frankly, it is amazing to me how many people are gimme, gimme, gimme, get,

00:03:50.820 get, get, what can I possibly extract? How much can I get out of this situation or from other

00:03:55.300 people? And certainly there's a time and a place for that. But I think so often it is taken to the

00:04:01.240 extreme that we are so consumed with consuming, with taking from every interaction, from every

00:04:09.220 engagement, from every encounter that we possibly can. And we completely overlook the need and the

00:04:16.580 necessity to give, to give back. And at the end of the day, I believe that it's our responsibility as

00:04:22.820 men to give. When I talk about our, I say motto, but it's so much more than a motto. It's, it's my

00:04:28.820 way of life. It's my objective as a man. And that is to be a protector, a provider, and a presider,

00:04:35.220 a leader. And when you look at those three elements of what it means to be a man, and I look at that as

00:04:40.180 the core tenant of our responsibilities, each one of those elements has an element of service,

00:04:44.700 right? If you're going to protect, you need to be serving yourself, serving your loved ones,

00:04:49.440 and serving those who cannot protect themselves. When we're talking about providing and provision,

00:04:55.420 and I'm not just talking about financial, I'm talking about intellectual, I'm talking about

00:04:59.220 emotional and spiritual, but any way that we can provide that in and of itself is giving, is service.

00:05:06.760 And then of course you look at preside leadership. And we all know the quote unquote leader. And I

00:05:12.360 use quotation marks there because I don't consider them leaders who push other people around. They push

00:05:17.980 people down in order to prop themselves up versus the type of leader who is a servant leader,

00:05:24.240 who serves the people that he's trying to help, who has their best interest and their heart and

00:05:30.460 their ideas and wants them to propel and wants them to grow. That is service that is becoming a man of

00:05:36.460 value. So guys, I'd have you consider and even challenge you this week to look at the interactions

00:05:42.560 that you have in life. Look at the interactions with your family and your kids. Look at opportunities

00:05:47.500 that you have to serve on charitable boards and charitable organizations. Look at opportunities

00:05:52.260 within your company and your business and every interaction and exchange that we have the potential

00:05:58.500 to engage with as an opportunity to add more value into the conversation, into the project,

00:06:06.740 into the experience itself. Now, I think it's important also that we discuss what does it even

00:06:12.920 mean to be a man of value? I think on the surface, it's pretty easy to understand that, that you're

00:06:17.740 actually giving more than you're taking. And I don't really know that we need to go any deeper than

00:06:23.120 that. A man of value is somebody who brings more to the table than he takes. And don't get me wrong.

00:06:29.060 There's opportunities where you should be taking, not stealing, of course, but taking, you know,

00:06:34.060 there's opportunities for you to get, but those opportunities will present themselves. And you

00:06:38.820 know, what's the best part about being a giver, being a man of value is that the taking the results

00:06:45.540 will inevitably take care of themselves. One of my favorite quotes is by Zig Ziglar. He says,

00:06:51.520 if you help enough people get what you want, you will inevitably get what it is you want. Now I'm

00:06:57.800 paraphrasing that, but it's along those lines. So guys go out there and look for ways to add

00:07:03.080 value and be a man of value, enhance interactions, enhance conversations. Uh, when you're walking

00:07:09.480 around in the wilderness and you see trash, pick that trash up. If there's little opportunities

00:07:14.380 to do things that people won't even maybe notice, go ahead and take that extra step,

00:07:19.180 go the extra mile. Uh, and, and you're just going to be a better man for it, but that's not why we do

00:07:24.720 it. And that's, what's really, really important that we understand is if you're trying to

00:07:28.680 manipulate or trying to game the system, if you will, that the only reason you're going to add

00:07:36.340 value is so you can get something else. That to me is not actually being a man of value.

00:07:41.540 You're just playing a game. You're just using the system in order to manipulate and coerce other

00:07:46.820 people and experiences in order to get what it is you want. Hey, look, there's opportunities to do

00:07:52.500 that, right? We've all got to play the game, especially when it comes to business, for example,

00:07:57.040 or office politics, there's the game that needs to be played. And certainly you need to understand

00:08:01.660 how to play it well. But I think at the root of being a man of value is the right motive is the

00:08:06.980 right intention. And so as I go through the next 10, 15, 20 minutes or whatever it is that we

00:08:12.100 continue this discussion today, I wanted to talk with you about this three-step process that I

00:08:17.180 think will help each of us become more valuable in the lives of the people that we care about in the

00:08:21.800 lives of the people that need us and are looking to us for service. So step number one is what I

00:08:29.240 had just alluded to, which is your motives and your intentions. If you're out there and you're

00:08:33.360 trying to manipulate and you're trying to coerce and you're trying to do, you know, tit for tat type

00:08:38.300 thing where I'll do this for you. If you do this for me, or you're keeping score, that's a huge,

00:08:44.060 huge problem. Again, there might be times where you may need to use those strategies, but when it comes

00:08:50.260 to being a man of value, men of value, don't keep score. They have the right motive. They have the

00:08:55.260 right intentions and the right intentions is frankly, you just want to serve. That's it. You want the

00:09:02.180 situation or the conversation or the relationship or experience to be better off because you were

00:09:07.880 involved than had you not been involved at all. So look at your family. Are your kids better off

00:09:15.700 because they had a conversation with dad? Is your wife a better person because she's got you 0.97

00:09:20.960 as a partner? Are your employees better, more capable human beings because you are serving them

00:09:28.720 and helping them lead? Is your employer having and achieving more success because you happen to be one

00:09:35.180 of his employees? Is your team and the team members, whether that's coaching in the community or again,

00:09:41.100 on a business team or something like that, are they better because you're around? If you have

00:09:46.500 the right motives, which is that I want to serve you, I care about you. I want you to thrive. I want

00:09:53.600 you to succeed. I want you to win. And because I want all of those things, I'm going to do everything

00:10:00.040 within my power to help you achieve that end. But if you add the caveat, which is I want to help you

00:10:08.000 achieve that end so that I can get, that's where I think we begin to diverge from being a man of value.

00:10:16.900 The motive needs to be pure in my mind. And the motive is simply, I want you to win. Now,

00:10:22.620 if I happen to win because of it, great. But at the end of the day, my sole objective should be

00:10:28.220 when it becomes, should be when it comes to being a man of value is to help other people win.

00:10:33.920 So what is your motive? What is your intention? Is it to be recognized? Is it to achieve some

00:10:40.820 notoriety or award? Or again, as the motive, I want to help you win. And I know the rest will

00:10:47.100 take care of itself. So that's number one, get your motive pure, get your motive, right.

00:10:50.480 And I think you'll be more valuable in people's lives. Number two, I think we've got to spend a lot

00:10:55.660 of time identifying our unique skills and gifts and talents and abilities. The truth is, is that you and I,

00:11:03.040 we are not good at everything. And I try to be good as, as, as much as I can at everything that

00:11:09.020 I do. But frankly, I'm more suited to do certain things than I am others. And that's okay. I think

00:11:16.460 a lot of people will spend time focusing on the negative. Like what am I not good at? Where can

00:11:20.920 I improve? And certainly there's times where you ought to consider that. But at the end of the day,

00:11:24.920 I think we'd be significantly more served, including the people that we're working to serve.

00:11:30.020 If we focused a little bit more of time and attention and energy on where we are good,

00:11:35.200 where we thrive. I know, for example, that I have a great ability to take complex situations

00:11:43.100 and circumstances and strip all of the unnecessary information away and get to the root of the

00:11:48.540 problem and then be able to articulate that clearly. I'm good at that. I'm good behind this

00:11:53.780 microphone. I'm not so good at editing the podcast. I'm not so good at the details.

00:11:59.340 I'm very, very good at taking action, which means that if people are him hon around and

00:12:05.960 beating around the bush about something that needs to be done on a project, I can cut through

00:12:09.640 all of that nonsense, get to the core of the matter, and then actually get the project on

00:12:14.320 task. I'm good at getting things back on track when they fail or when they get off of the track.

00:12:21.040 Those are the types of things that I'm good at. And because I recognize that in myself,

00:12:24.820 I can use those gifts and abilities and talents to serve other people. When I see guys, for example,

00:12:31.580 in our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council who are overcomplicating what shouldn't be a

00:12:36.980 complex problem or situation. It's very easy for me to jump in and help that individual see exactly

00:12:43.020 what needs to be seen and then help them create their own roadmap without all the nonsense and the

00:12:48.420 nuances and the little distractions that will keep them from accomplishing what they want to

00:12:52.140 accomplish. That's where I'm good. That's where I'm strong. So I can come in and use those talents

00:12:57.480 and those gifts and abilities to help uplift other people in order to achieve what they probably could

00:13:03.320 not achieve on their own and vice versa. There's certain people that I've brought into my organization

00:13:07.940 and into my life who are detail oriented, who will look at those little nuances, who will help me in

00:13:15.040 a way save me from myself? Because sometimes, sometimes I have the habit of just jumping to

00:13:20.780 the races, just getting off to the races and jumping into it, you know, head first when I really ought

00:13:27.000 to consider, is this something that I should do? So I have people in my life who have strengths where I

00:13:32.140 have weaknesses and we serve each other. And because we serve each other, we're both, we're all better

00:13:37.980 off because of it. So what I challenge you to do when it comes to becoming a man of value is again, look at

00:13:43.860 your motives. What are your motives? Are they pure? Are they intentional? Are they deliberate? Are they

00:13:48.560 right? That's number one. Number two is to begin to identify your unique skills, gifts, abilities,

00:13:56.240 talents, what have you in order to be able to more fully and effectively serve. The other side of this

00:14:02.020 guys is that if you do recognize weaknesses, do recognize areas where you need to shore up, then this

00:14:09.920 is an opportunity to go out and learn and develop new skills and, and find ways to come up with new

00:14:16.740 solutions and tap into other people who might be able to help you become a little bit more efficient

00:14:22.360 and proficient in certain areas of your life. So learn and develop those new skills in order to achieve

00:14:28.220 more and in order to serve more. All right. So we've got number one and number two out of the way.

00:14:32.240 Let's talk about number three guys. This is very simply application. All right. We, we always talk

00:14:38.260 about knowledge being power. Everybody's heard that adage. I disagree. Knowledge is great. I'm not

00:14:44.220 undermining how important it is that we go out and gain new skills and knowledge and understanding,

00:14:48.200 but unless we're actually applying that knowledge, unless we're actually putting into practice what

00:14:54.080 we know and what we have, what we possess as individual gifts and talents and abilities,

00:14:58.520 all of that stuff is wasted. I don't care how many self-help books that you read. If you aren't

00:15:05.000 applying any of what you read because you're inundated with information and you never get to

00:15:09.320 the application process, those books and the time that you spent reading those books is completely

00:15:14.380 wasted. So go out there and find ways to serve, look for opportunities to serve. I think men in

00:15:20.880 general, we are problem solving machines. You know, I walk around or I'm driving down the road and I'm

00:15:26.580 looking at a pothole in the road. I'm thinking to myself, there's a problem that needs to be fixed.

00:15:29.820 And I walk into the convenience store and, and maybe the employee isn't as nice as they need to

00:15:34.220 be. And I'm like, man, I would, I would fire that person or train that person or bring somebody new

00:15:37.840 in because I think that's going to help this company make more money. Uh, I mean, every little

00:15:43.080 interaction that I have, I'm always in constantly looking for ways to improve the situation. So guys,

00:15:50.120 let's use that ability that we have to look for problems, to find the problems and then move into

00:15:56.360 the next step, which is to apply solutions. And I'm not saying you have to apply solutions to

00:16:01.860 everything because there's going to be problems that frankly, you don't care about or that you

00:16:06.680 don't even recognize that you have no desire to be engaged or involved with. But I think it's

00:16:11.840 important that we go out there and we find real problems to some of life's biggest challenges so

00:16:18.520 that we can then offer the solutions. I mean, that's the, that's the catalyst. That's the origin of

00:16:24.640 order of man. I spent most of my childhood without a father figure. And I recognized in my life that

00:16:30.100 there was some real deficiencies because of that. And because I went through those negative times and

00:16:35.000 I've seen so many other people go through those negative times. And I went through a separation

00:16:39.060 early in my marriage and I see other guys going through separations and divorces. I feel like that's

00:16:44.160 a huge problem that society needs to address. And if I can be part of that solution, then you better

00:16:51.240 believe that's exactly what I'm going to do. And when I started order of man three and a half years

00:16:56.540 ago, I didn't have any idea or even intention that this was going to be a business. I started this as

00:17:03.380 a hobby because I recognized that there was something out there that needed to be solved,

00:17:07.660 that needed to be addressed. And I felt like I had some unique experiences in my life that adequately

00:17:14.020 prepared me to address this problem. And because I led with that, I led with the value that I thought

00:17:19.680 I could offer. This has now turned into a multi six figure business that has spanned the entire

00:17:26.780 planet. We have tens of millions of podcast downloads. We have 52 plus thousand people in

00:17:32.880 the Facebook group. We're serving tens, if not hundreds of thousands of families and men across

00:17:38.460 the planet. But that wasn't my motive. My motive is simply that I just saw that there was a problem

00:17:44.360 and I felt like, man, I could address this. There's something that I can do about this. And I feel

00:17:49.380 like if we see that in life, then we have a moral obligation to inject ourselves into the situation

00:17:55.180 to improve that situation. And that's where this application process comes in. So that's the three

00:18:00.800 step formula. I mean, it's simple. It is so simple. I don't want to say easy because we get inundated

00:18:06.920 with all the activities and everything else that we have to do with life, but it is simple.

00:18:11.580 What is your motive? What are your intentions? Are you trying to be a quote unquote servant leader

00:18:16.820 or are you trying to be served? That's number one. Number two, identify what you specifically

00:18:23.260 and uniquely bring to the equation. Are you clear? Do you have the ability to communicate? Are you

00:18:30.460 thoughtful? Do you have a unique experience? Is there a skillset that you have that might help you

00:18:36.360 accomplish a task that other people may not find as easy or simple to do? That's number two.

00:18:41.760 And then number three, go out and apply. And what I would challenge you to do this week

00:18:46.560 is we're talking about becoming a man of value is to look into your household first, obviously

00:18:52.840 yourself, because we're talking about our unique skills and abilities, but then look into your

00:18:56.960 household first. You know, we talk a lot about, oh, we're going to change the world and make

00:19:01.200 the dent in the universe. Look, all that stuff's wonderful, but unless you can change yourself

00:19:05.280 and unless you can learn to influence the people in the walls of your home, you have no ability

00:19:12.360 whatsoever to impact the world. So start with the smallest unit possible yourself, expand your wife 1.00

00:19:20.960 and kids, expand your community, expand to the state, expand whatever you need to from there,

00:19:25.640 but start at home. How can you serve your wife more effectively? What value can you add and bring

00:19:31.420 to the relationship that maybe you've forgotten to add or that you haven't in the past? How can you

00:19:36.140 serve your kids when they get home? Are you brushing them off and doing your thing? Or is it just a

00:19:40.500 matter of going outside and playing catch with little Tommy or going to little Cindy's dance recital

00:19:46.000 or whatever it may be? Okay. Now, once you have that look outside, where can you be charitable with

00:19:53.360 your time, attention, energy, money, and other resources? Do you have time to give back to the

00:20:00.900 community? Do you have time to coach a youth sports team? Do you have time to be a mentor at a school

00:20:07.840 or some sort of extracurricular activity? If you have the opportunity and the capacity, then again,

00:20:14.600 I believe you have a moral obligation to do that. And look guys, at the end of the day,

00:20:18.460 the natural principle that I believe will always work, meaning that it's universal,

00:20:24.780 is that if you go out into the world and you provide value and you enhance the way that you're

00:20:31.440 showing up in your family, your business, your community, every facet of life, that you will

00:20:36.860 inevitably produce more in your life. I've been very, very fortunate over the past four to five years to

00:20:43.960 build a sort of life that's allowed me to engage in meaningful work. It's allowed me to increase my

00:20:51.220 income. It's allowed me to connect more with my family and my members of my community. And all of

00:20:58.020 that I believe is the result of me becoming more valuable. I lost weight. I got in shape. I got

00:21:07.660 stronger. I developed new skill sets. I put myself out into the world. I share what I can with other

00:21:13.760 people. I'm charitable as often, as much as I can with my time and attention, energy, and resources.

00:21:19.400 And because I do that, I achieve big results. I have success in my life. It is not a coincidence

00:21:26.800 that my success in every facet of life has improved since I've worked on becoming and making myself a

00:21:36.960 more valuable man. So guys, that's my message for you today. Pretty simple one, pretty short one.

00:21:43.300 Think about this, ponder on this. I know a lot of you guys are listening to this as you're working out

00:21:47.560 or listening to this as you're driving into work, but really think about, okay, my next interaction

00:21:52.920 with an individual, I'm going to be more valuable than I was in the past. And I know it's easy not

00:21:57.840 to do this because we do get inundated and consumed with everything else that we have going on. But I

00:22:02.020 can guarantee you because this universal principle is that the more you give, the more you get in

00:22:08.520 return. Again, that's not why we do it, but the universal principle is that it will be returned to you

00:22:14.700 if you put it out there. So those who give the most of themselves and their time, attention, money,

00:22:21.840 energy, resources will always, always produce the most. So that's it guys. And one other thing that

00:22:29.620 I wanted to mention is, and the part of the reason I wanted to talk with you about this today

00:22:33.440 is that in the month of November, this is actually the subject that we're talking about inside of the

00:22:39.940 iron council. Now the iron council is our exclusive brotherhood. Uh, it's a group, a brotherhood,

00:22:45.260 a fraternity of gosh, a little over 400 men. Now all working to improve ourselves. We've got

00:22:53.400 challenges, assignments, you'll work in a battle team. There's accountability built into it.

00:22:59.340 There's our planning tool that we use called the 12 week battle planner. We've got so much going on

00:23:05.480 over there, a book club. And, uh, I think it would do really well for you if you wanted to become more

00:23:10.960 valuable to consider joining us this month, the month of November. Again, the subject is becoming

00:23:15.660 a man of value. So if you are interested in learning a little bit more about what we're doing in the

00:23:19.700 iron council, uh, and maybe even lock in your seat, then head to order of man.com slash iron council.

00:23:25.340 Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council. So guys, I hope to see you there. Uh, either way,

00:23:32.000 I do appreciate you being on this path and being on this journey, man, it has been an exciting ride

00:23:36.180 and it's only getting better and it will continue to get better because you have my commitment to

00:23:41.280 continue to add value in your lives and the lives of every single person engaged in some capacity with

00:23:47.580 the mission, which is to reclaim and restore masculinity in this society. All right, guys,

00:23:53.940 I'll let you get going. Have a great weekend. Go out there, become a man of value, take action

00:23:58.620 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:24:04.640 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:24:08.660 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - November 02, 2018

Become a Man of Value ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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