Order of Man


Bloom Where You're Planted Before You Take on the World, Principled-Based Living, and The Criteria for Finding a Church ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING


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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the guys talk about their Thanksgiving and New Year's resolutions. They also talk about the importance of being a man of action and how to live life to the fullest. They also discuss how to be a better steward over what you have been given.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:05.880 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.240 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.120 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.280 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.500 Kip, what's up, man? Looks like you put on a little weight over the Thanksgiving break there.
00:00:28.820 So that's completely true. I know you're joking, but that is reality.
00:00:36.120 Mine as well. Mine as well. I actually trimmed my beard down. You can see.
00:00:39.920 And I trimmed it just because it keeps my face looking lean after I put on a few pounds.
00:00:44.280 I tend to puff up in the cheeks a little bit.
00:00:47.760 Yeah. So like in two months, you'll be like no facial hair whatsoever in an attempt to look like you haven't gained weight.
00:00:53.860 Yeah. That's right. Just take, I just gradually take a little, I go from, you know, a two down to a one and a half down to a one, you know?
00:01:01.280 And so that's how it goes.
00:01:02.720 Totally.
00:01:03.040 But I'm leaving the stash. As you can see, you got to leave the stash.
00:01:07.000 Yeah. Yeah. It looks beautiful. It's glorious.
00:01:10.240 Glorious. Well, brother, it's good to see you, man. I think we have some questions for the guys left over from Facebook for last week.
00:01:19.780 And I think we have some new questions from Facebook this week. So let's get to as many as we can today.
00:01:24.280 Yep. Sounds good. To join us, go to facebook.com slash group slash order, man. Our first question, Gabriel, Lord bloom where you bloom, where you're planted or go forth and change the world.
00:01:38.260 So bloom where you've been planted or go forth and change the world.
00:01:42.840 So, okay. Here's what I think. If you can't bloom where you're planted, you can't go forth and change the world.
00:01:50.140 That's what everybody thinks. Everybody thinks, oh, if I get myself in a different circumstance, then I'll be better.
00:01:57.220 This is the whole thing with New Year's resolutions. I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until January 1st and then I'll eat healthy.
00:02:04.120 And then I'll get my finances in order. And then I'll do X, Y, and Z. And then I'll start my business. I'll do that January 1st.
00:02:10.220 Bro, if you're going to do it January 1st, you'd actually do it right now. You'd do it today.
00:02:14.360 And I'm not a hater on New Year's resolutions. I think the new year is a great time to evaluate where you are, to think about fresh and new beginnings, to think about what you want more out of your life.
00:02:26.720 So great. Think about New Year's resolutions, but start today. And we're running across the same concept when you say, man, should I go forth and change the world?
00:02:34.940 Man, if you can't change your environment, like if today, if I'm like, I want to make my dent in the world, but I can't clean up my office space today because it's right here in front of me, then I'm not going to go out and forth and change the world.
00:02:48.140 Totally.
00:02:49.140 And I would also say this. One other thing I would say is if you start changing and blooming where you're planted, start changing your environment and the situation you're in now, you are going to have more opportunity to go forth and change the world.
00:03:03.440 You have to be a good steward over what you've been given and prove that you're capable of handling it before I think it's God. Some people think it's just the universe or karma, but before God gives you more, he says, handle this first and show me you can be a good steward over these resources.
00:03:23.460 Show me you can magnify your talents. Show me that you can handle this amount of wealth that you have. Show me that you can develop and build these relationships. And as you prove that you can, then you're given more. Go check out the parable of tap the talents.
00:03:39.960 Yeah. Those are the, those are the reps required to take on something bigger period. And I can't help, but look at all the correlations. So someone might be listening to this and like, Oh yeah. You know, thinking work. So let's, let's just take this principle and transcend it on everything.
00:03:56.020 Well, you know what? Uh, my next, next marriage is going to work. Guess what? If you can't make the current one work, you're probably not going to be able to make the other one work.
00:04:05.920 Oh, you don't like your team or you can't have influence in the position that's been granted to you. But you think that if you get promoted, all of a sudden you'll be in a position of authority and then you'll be able to influence people. Possibility is you're wrong, right? Like this principle transcends to everything, whether it's marriage, whether it's your current job and opportunities that have been placed before you.
00:04:30.680 If you just take everything that we've said and apply it to your current circumstance and saying, am I, what's the, what's the term that we use in the church sometimes?
00:04:41.860 Magnify your calling.
00:04:43.500 Exactly. If I am, am I magnifying the calling and the opportunities that have been placed before me right now? And if you're not, then stop looking across the fence or stop looking for the other job or stop looking for the other woman and make sure that you're,
00:05:00.680 taking care of and magnifying what's been placed before you, if not for the reps. So that way you're learning and growing in the current circumstances that have been placed before you.
00:05:12.220 A couple of friends that have kind of alluded to what I wanted to share with you here is, is Sal Fusilla with First Form and then Bert Soren with Soren X. And they both talk about this concept. They talk about it in a different way.
00:05:23.160 Uh, I believe it's one or the other talks about, uh, one step in front of the other left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. I think that's Sal and Bert talks about brick by brick, building brick by brick.
00:05:36.140 And I think when we start asking ourselves, well, I want to go out and change the world, noble ambition, but that's the 10th or 20th or 20,000th brick or 20,000th step, which is good to think about it, but you have to take one through 19,999 first, and then 20,000 will come.
00:05:55.580 So always, always bloom where you're planted. And then you'll be able to go out and do what you want to do from there.
00:06:02.900 And, and Jordan Peterson, he's talked about this a couple of times, but, but he kind of, I think anyway, my interpretation of his comments around the subject is that people go change the world because they're unwilling to do the difficult thing, which is blooming where they're currently planted.
00:06:21.320 And they, they, they, they latch on to social issues and bigger things outside the realm of control.
00:06:28.420 So that way they can be stressed and victimed and all, woe is me and all these horrible things.
00:06:34.540 Meanwhile, their home is a mess and their life is not in order.
00:06:40.540 You know what you want to care about climate change, go to the gym, take care of your body, eat healthy first.
00:06:47.380 Then, then you can have an opinion about something greater than yourself.
00:06:51.480 If you can't even manage yourself.
00:06:54.480 Right.
00:06:55.120 Right.
00:06:55.580 Which is all of us.
00:06:57.780 Him, Jordan Peterson.
00:06:59.100 I don't know.
00:06:59.740 Yeah.
00:07:00.320 It's, it's all.
00:07:01.040 I guess I should sound preachy, but you know, routed up.
00:07:03.860 No, I, I just hope guys know that when we share these concepts, I feel like I'm talking to myself.
00:07:10.460 It's, it's almost a video or audio journal for me that I need to go back and listen and
00:07:16.080 be like, Oh yeah, you need to do what you said there.
00:07:19.280 What, what advice you just gave to somebody else.
00:07:21.620 You should take that advice.
00:07:24.020 Totally.
00:07:24.600 Yeah.
00:07:24.920 I had, I cut, I had a couple of messages just recently.
00:07:28.440 Someone sent me a message on Instagram.
00:07:30.160 It's like, Oh, thank you so much.
00:07:32.240 And blah, blah, blah.
00:07:32.880 And, you know, I'm so grateful that you're in position to share this.
00:07:36.580 And I'm like, just to be really clear, this is present on mind because this is one of
00:07:41.760 my biggest faults.
00:07:43.500 Right.
00:07:44.040 And I am dealing with this.
00:07:45.460 So I just want to be, you know what I mean?
00:07:47.320 Super clear.
00:07:48.720 It's on, on the, on the tip of my tongue and it's on my mind a lot because this is an area
00:07:53.460 that I struggle, you know?
00:07:54.940 Right.
00:07:55.120 So yeah, definitely.
00:07:56.840 Yep.
00:07:57.640 All right.
00:07:58.500 John Stambaugh.
00:08:00.480 Morning, gentlemen.
00:08:01.400 Thanks for what you do.
00:08:02.480 I run a construction related business.
00:08:04.400 We try hard to foster growth in our people and lead by example, both in the field and
00:08:09.220 personally, that said, we are having a hard time finding and retaining good long-term team
00:08:14.800 members.
00:08:15.380 Do you have any thoughts on some tactics for this?
00:08:19.360 Fun.
00:08:20.240 I don't know the industry real well, but I think this actually could fall in line with
00:08:25.840 our current or our previous question.
00:08:28.880 And what I would say is if you want to find good employees, first step, treat your current
00:08:35.460 employees like just absolutely incredibly.
00:08:39.760 Take care of them.
00:08:41.320 Make sure they're taken care of, of course, financially, give them opportunity for growth
00:08:45.680 and progress, get to know them.
00:08:47.680 They may all be motivated and driven by different things.
00:08:50.420 Try to figure out what that is, provide those opportunities.
00:08:52.800 And here's what I know about those employees.
00:08:55.720 Those employees likely spend time around other people just like themselves.
00:09:00.800 So if you have high value employees, you're paying them well, you're treating them fairly,
00:09:05.800 you're vested in their lives, you're trying to figure out what they're motivated by, and
00:09:11.580 you have a handful of great employees because you're a great employer, then what I would
00:09:16.800 suggest is you go straight to those individuals who are the best and you say, listen, you know,
00:09:22.480 as well as I do, we're short-staffed.
00:09:25.420 And man, I've been so impressed with the way you've shown up for the past couple of years.
00:09:29.360 And I imagine that, you know, two or three or five people who are working in companies
00:09:35.140 they don't like.
00:09:36.580 That's statistically true.
00:09:38.260 You can bet that 70 to 80% of the statistics show people are unhappy with their current work,
00:09:44.860 their current career and their work environment.
00:09:47.240 So these people know out of the 10, 20, 100 people they know, 70 of them are dissatisfied
00:09:53.160 with their work and their career.
00:09:55.200 So if you go to those individuals and say, who do you know, it's likely you're going to
00:09:58.440 find some good employees there.
00:09:59.740 I think in addition to what you're probably already doing with job recruiting and recruiting
00:10:04.460 type websites and stuff like this, that's probably going to be a strategy that I would
00:10:09.140 really, really double down on.
00:10:10.540 Yeah, for sure.
00:10:12.760 We actually have an amazing employee retention.
00:10:16.440 So I'll just share a couple of things that are important to me.
00:10:20.100 Ryan, you already mentioned one of them, right?
00:10:21.880 What motivates them?
00:10:23.360 You know, Google intrinsic motivators, right?
00:10:25.380 And it's not money.
00:10:26.500 It's usually something else, right?
00:10:28.680 And now don't get me wrong.
00:10:29.920 Money is an issue if it lacks alignment.
00:10:32.500 And the reason why is because what does it feel like when you're underpaying me in a job
00:10:38.640 I love?
00:10:39.020 Eventually, I feel what?
00:10:41.120 Not valued and considered, which is an intrinsic motivator, right?
00:10:44.520 And so compensation needs to be aligned, mostly from the perspective of how it feels, right?
00:10:50.960 The other thing I'd focus on is sense of team belonging and how you show up as leaders within
00:10:56.600 your organization will actually, statistically, employees will stay in a job where they have
00:11:01.940 a strong sense of team belonging and they have a great leader that they work for.
00:11:07.060 Now, what does it mean team belonging?
00:11:09.980 Unified focus.
00:11:12.360 Banding with a team about something bigger than yourselves about what you're accomplishing.
00:11:17.820 That is inspiring, right?
00:11:20.440 That you want to have that type of work environment.
00:11:23.000 So look at creating that, making sure your leadership team is solid.
00:11:27.660 Anyone in a leadership position needs to be leading from the front and obviously really
00:11:31.380 good.
00:11:31.680 And then the last thing that really comes to mind for me anyway is, and I think this is
00:11:38.700 where most corporate America messes up, is we don't trust our people.
00:11:44.280 I mean, think about it.
00:11:45.140 Something as simple as vacation request.
00:11:50.100 Hey, Ryan, can I have time off?
00:11:51.640 Oh, let me approve it.
00:11:53.080 What?
00:11:53.320 You don't trust me?
00:11:54.800 I need some equipment.
00:11:56.200 Oh, let me approve it.
00:11:57.100 Red tape everywhere we do in corporate America, which perpetuates the idea that you are not
00:12:04.960 trustworthy.
00:12:07.500 Shake it up.
00:12:08.380 Empower your people to lead from the front, trust them, support them.
00:12:14.840 And you would find it's quite amazing what employees will do when they feel trusted.
00:12:19.920 Now, here's the deal.
00:12:21.080 You get a shitty employee that's not doing a good job, right?
00:12:24.660 You might need awkward people.
00:12:26.320 It puts the pressure back on you to make sure that you have the right people in the right
00:12:29.900 role.
00:12:30.280 But man, you want an environment where everyone is self-directed and they know what the desired
00:12:35.480 outcome is and they're committed to doing their best job possible, not because they're
00:12:40.720 being micromanaged or anything else, right?
00:12:43.300 And so we kind of call that the conversation around checking where their commitment level
00:12:48.040 is, right?
00:12:48.580 Their buy-in, right?
00:12:49.940 And how are they feeling about their job?
00:12:52.220 And so much of what we do in corporate America, man, we put red tape and process all over things
00:12:57.400 that like really hogties people in their jobs and makes them feel like they're just being
00:13:03.600 micromanaged, you know, shake it up, look for opportunities where you might be doing that.
00:13:09.400 Yeah, that's a good point.
00:13:10.080 I like the idea of trust.
00:13:11.860 If you can't trust your employees, what does that say about you and who you've hired and
00:13:16.240 the training or lack thereof that you provided?
00:13:19.340 Totally, totally.
00:13:20.100 And just think about what damp, like damping, I don't know the right term, like what restrictions
00:13:26.640 we're putting on people when we don't trust them.
00:13:29.800 Like if you and I are working on a task and you're bought in, like we're aligned or like,
00:13:33.780 hey, here's the desired outcome and you give me the freedom to execute.
00:13:39.320 Well, guess what I'll end up doing, right?
00:13:41.360 I'll push through, man.
00:13:43.080 I'll do anything possible to make sure because it's kind of my baby now, right?
00:13:47.800 Like I'm going to do this my way, but we're both committed to where it needs to go.
00:13:52.820 And that's different than you going, no, no, all right, Kip, I need you to do A, B, C and
00:13:58.240 D exactly this way.
00:13:59.700 And where's the, where's the joy in that?
00:14:02.060 It's like, go hire a teenager to do that work. 0.99
00:14:04.740 Yeah, definitely.
00:14:05.620 You're not even using my talents.
00:14:07.180 You know, you're just micromanaging me.
00:14:08.720 And that's, that's disheartening.
00:14:10.380 You know, that's, that's unmotivating, you know?
00:14:13.740 For sure.
00:14:14.360 Good.
00:14:14.720 I like it.
00:14:16.180 Okay.
00:14:16.880 Aaron Campbell, what are you guys focusing on in jujitsu right now?
00:14:20.180 Which positions, which techniques, which concepts?
00:14:23.920 You're way better at this.
00:14:25.120 When people, people have asked me this quite a bit.
00:14:27.280 No, but we're both training a lot.
00:14:29.000 You got your stuff.
00:14:29.840 I know, but I, well, not a lot.
00:14:31.120 I've been, I've been slacking off in that department, but when people ask me this, it's
00:14:35.380 funny.
00:14:35.580 It's like, you're asking me, like, I'd take what I can get at this point.
00:14:41.040 You know what I mean?
00:14:42.320 You're asking.
00:14:43.560 I'm really focused on taking limbs is what I'm focused on right now.
00:14:47.540 Just destruction.
00:14:48.260 People, people ask me, they're like, what's your, what's your favorite submission technique?
00:14:52.020 And it's like, you're asking me, like, I can actually get somebody in, in that compromising
00:14:57.640 situation.
00:14:58.260 And I have yet to have been able to do that.
00:15:01.160 Um, so, but I would say generally, uh, I need to work the bottom game a little better
00:15:09.320 because I'm, when I can get, if I can get on top, I can keep somebody your pill underneath
00:15:15.640 me.
00:15:16.340 Yeah.
00:15:16.860 I may not have a great, you know, submission from there.
00:15:21.380 That's like a go-to, like my go-to I can get, but, um, yeah, I, I can usually work fairly
00:15:28.000 well from the top and I like the pressure game anyways.
00:15:31.120 So if somebody's underneath me, I can, the way that Pete explains it to me and he's like,
00:15:35.220 if you're on top, you want to make that person feel like they're drowning through, uh, ice
00:15:41.300 in the water.
00:15:42.280 And if you're on bottom, you want to make that person feel like they're on ice skates and
00:15:46.880 they have no balance and no control.
00:15:48.660 That's the analogy he uses.
00:15:50.140 Yeah.
00:15:50.540 And I'm not very good on it with my bottom game.
00:15:53.160 I have a hard time getting out from underneath.
00:15:55.660 Uh, so I need to work that a little bit better.
00:15:57.600 A lot better.
00:15:59.860 Hmm.
00:16:00.460 See, I, someone asked this question like six months ago, nothing's changed.
00:16:05.600 Yeah.
00:16:06.200 I'm still focusing on, I, I just, I'm constantly playing with Kimura still.
00:16:10.780 So I'm just playing with it even more.
00:16:13.560 Yeah.
00:16:14.500 That's, that's what's on my mind a lot.
00:16:16.320 So that in, and, and, and really grinding it out.
00:16:21.880 I was, um, not last week, but the week before it was really interesting.
00:16:26.960 I just walked away from training and, and I trained open mat for an hour.
00:16:32.960 So it was just open roles for an hour with a bunch of high level belts.
00:16:37.280 And I didn't, I didn't go for a single submission.
00:16:43.240 Just kept, but I was, I was just going deep water.
00:16:47.320 So I was like, the game I was playing was like, all right, I'm going to get in a really
00:16:51.400 bad position.
00:16:52.240 And then I'm just going to say like, F you try to submit me, but you can't.
00:16:55.700 Yeah.
00:16:55.940 You know what I mean?
00:16:56.760 And just grind it out.
00:16:57.900 Yeah.
00:16:58.300 And it was just kind of interesting.
00:16:59.760 Like I walked away.
00:17:00.460 I'm like, Hmm.
00:17:01.220 Like, and it was a nice way to check my ego a little bit.
00:17:03.880 Cause I was like, I didn't have to catch someone.
00:17:06.720 Like I was just being content with grinding it and being uncomfortable.
00:17:11.560 And that was my focus.
00:17:13.180 So it was kind of, I think that, I think that works in the opposite as well, because
00:17:18.340 occasionally I'll train with somebody who very occasionally, very rarely I'll train with
00:17:24.380 somebody who I clearly have the upper hand.
00:17:27.580 Like it's not much of a contest.
00:17:30.940 Yeah.
00:17:31.520 And I, I mean, probably a year or two years ago, I would have just demolished the person,
00:17:37.580 but now it's like, what, what is this?
00:17:40.500 This is not helping anybody.
00:17:42.240 How does that serve me?
00:17:43.360 Yeah.
00:17:43.620 How does it serve me?
00:17:44.720 How does it serve that person just to destroy somebody?
00:17:47.680 And so, um, I've caught myself in those situations where I'm like, yeah, clearly I have the upper
00:17:52.420 hand here, like not going for a go-to submission.
00:17:56.580 Like I like, um, I like lapel chokes a lot.
00:18:00.400 So like baseball bat chokes, bread cutters.
00:18:02.760 Um, I like like an arm triangle.
00:18:04.880 I really like an arm triangle, but anything around the neck, Ezekiel's, I love like neck
00:18:09.640 chokes.
00:18:10.820 Uh, so I might get to that position, but then just not finish it, you know, like go to something
00:18:18.100 else that I'm not as familiar with.
00:18:20.280 Like the other night I was rolling with somebody and I wouldn't normally do this, but I was like,
00:18:24.660 oh, let's try this.
00:18:25.260 And I had a figure four legged around their, their legs. 0.94
00:18:28.040 And it's like bear and bolo.
00:18:29.040 That's not my game at all.
00:18:31.000 Yeah.
00:18:31.760 But I'm like, let's try it, you know?
00:18:33.260 And it didn't work.
00:18:34.060 And the guy laughed and I laughed and we just went back to doing it, you know, but just trying
00:18:39.800 to experiment a little bit in those situations has been helpful for me.
00:18:43.220 The other thing I've learned is, especially with my pectoral muscle, that, that tear I had,
00:18:48.100 is I tap way quick on that side and it's fine.
00:18:54.420 That's what I've realized.
00:18:55.260 Like, it's fine.
00:18:56.200 And I tell the guys, I'm like, he taps, like, oh, did I get you?
00:18:58.340 And I'm like, you would have, but I didn't want you to go any further.
00:19:01.080 And he's like, oh, okay.
00:19:02.600 Like letting that ego aside a little bit and realizing that, oh, if you tap, like nobody
00:19:07.000 thinks less of you.
00:19:07.820 They're like, oh, okay, cool.
00:19:09.240 Reset.
00:19:09.920 And actually sometimes what I'll do is somebody will get like, let's say they get me in a
00:19:14.500 American or Kimora, which I don't want to mess with on this side. 1.00
00:19:18.220 So they'll give me that position.
00:19:19.240 I'm like, hey, tap.
00:19:20.680 And they're like, oh, okay.
00:19:21.740 And they get up.
00:19:22.100 I'm like, no, no, stay inside control.
00:19:23.840 Just let me reset again.
00:19:25.460 And so I get my frame inside control and then we go again.
00:19:28.260 Or I'll even tell them like, hey, just let go of that arm.
00:19:31.100 Just tap, get me in the Kimora on this side.
00:19:34.220 And so they'll come around.
00:19:35.020 I'm like, okay, go.
00:19:35.960 And I'll try to get out of an American or Kimora on my other side. 1.00
00:19:40.620 Totally.
00:19:41.100 Yeah.
00:19:41.400 It's funny that you say that.
00:19:42.480 Cause I've, I've started doing that too.
00:19:43.880 Cause I don't want to, I don't really, I don't want to reset the role.
00:19:47.440 No.
00:19:47.860 Cause they've got a position.
00:19:49.860 Yeah.
00:19:50.360 So sometimes like, let's say I, it's like a hill hook.
00:19:53.540 I'll go, I'll let go.
00:19:56.520 And then give them a chance to start escaping.
00:20:00.000 Right.
00:20:00.220 And then we keep running.
00:20:01.280 Yeah.
00:20:01.520 So I hope and let go of the submission before you taps.
00:20:03.800 Right.
00:20:04.020 So then that way I'm like, oh, okay.
00:20:06.100 And now let's keep progressing.
00:20:07.640 Right.
00:20:08.100 Right.
00:20:08.420 Scenario.
00:20:09.400 Yeah.
00:20:09.980 It's, I think that's a level of, uh, of maturity developing in jujitsu, you know, new guys,
00:20:16.520 young, younger guys.
00:20:17.200 I'm just, I would still consider myself a new guy, but like, I'm talking about fresh, like
00:20:20.700 brand new guys.
00:20:21.800 They're not going to do that.
00:20:22.920 It's all about the tap.
00:20:23.960 Yeah.
00:20:24.360 Yeah.
00:20:24.560 You're going to tap.
00:20:25.860 But there comes a point, I think where it's like, okay.
00:20:28.780 I mean the tap, like you want to be able to finish a submission.
00:20:31.960 You want to, of course, but there comes a point in time where you're like, yeah, I know
00:20:35.380 I've, I know I've got this one.
00:20:37.240 So the other thing I've started to do is, is on my submissions, I've tried to tighten
00:20:42.080 them up a little bit.
00:20:42.760 Like I've noticed me throwing, for example, a baseball bat choke on somebody and it not
00:20:47.020 working.
00:20:47.380 I'm like, why is this not working?
00:20:48.480 And so really thinking about little, you know, maybe my hands weren't together.
00:20:53.460 Maybe I didn't drop my elbow the right way.
00:20:55.360 Um, so thinking about those tightening up the procedures or the steps for a higher
00:21:01.780 finish rate on some of that stuff.
00:21:03.960 Yeah.
00:21:04.580 The other thing that's been on my mind lately, uh, I'll, we'll stop after this, um, is, um,
00:21:11.880 distance, you know, like that's been on my mind a lot.
00:21:15.060 I've, I've done some self-defense seminars and so it's been on my mind more.
00:21:19.960 So now when I'm training at the gym, I'm like, all right, managing distance, closing the
00:21:24.480 distance, not hanging out in a bad position where I could get hammer fisted and knocked
00:21:29.820 out if we were striking.
00:21:31.120 And so that's on my mind a lot to like envisioning punches being thrown as, as part of my training,
00:21:36.740 just to kind of not lose that aspect of it.
00:21:40.200 Yeah.
00:21:40.600 That's something I haven't done at all.
00:21:42.080 That would round out my game.
00:21:43.400 So cool.
00:21:44.460 All right.
00:21:44.820 It's always fun.
00:21:45.960 All right.
00:21:46.580 Brian, uh, Scholz a while back, you spoke about a potential father daughter event, but the
00:21:51.980 logistics of it were a bit of a hindrance versus a father and son event.
00:21:55.540 Have you thought more about holding such an event or do you think you'll stick strictly
00:21:59.380 with father and sons events?
00:22:01.040 As an aside, finding your podcast when I did a few years ago has helped change my life.
00:22:06.260 I may not always get it right, but with God, the work you do and personal determination,
00:22:10.540 I've been on a path of improvement far longer than I have, than I ever have before.
00:22:16.280 God bless you and your family.
00:22:18.660 Awesome.
00:22:18.900 Thank you.
00:22:19.480 Um, I'm glad to know the work's making a difference.
00:22:21.520 That's of course why we're doing it.
00:22:23.180 Yeah.
00:22:23.640 You know, I, I think a father daughter event would be awesome.
00:22:27.800 Um, I I'd have to, I'd have to think about that.
00:22:30.460 I don't know if that'll take place in 2023 or not.
00:22:32.880 I really would like to do it.
00:22:34.260 I have a daughter.
00:22:34.980 I don't talk about her a whole, a whole lot by, by design.
00:22:37.540 I'm obviously clearly more protective of her than I am of my boys.
00:22:41.880 I'm sure you are as well.
00:22:43.320 It's just the nature of it.
00:22:45.080 Uh, so yeah, I don't know.
00:22:46.880 And that's, that's the best answer I can give.
00:22:48.380 I would like to do it.
00:22:49.360 I would just have to think about because the way we run them now, it's in my barn.
00:22:54.320 It's, it's dads and their sons.
00:22:56.460 They're in my barn all together.
00:22:58.220 It's like communal living.
00:22:59.480 It's they're all there changing it.
00:23:02.280 That just, it just wouldn't, it wouldn't be appropriate with a father and a daughter.
00:23:07.820 So we could still do the event and we probably would do it very much the same,
00:23:11.860 except for the, the living quarters.
00:23:14.620 They'd have to go to their own hotels or something.
00:23:18.040 And you're like the main event almost.
00:23:20.280 Yeah.
00:23:21.080 Yeah.
00:23:21.780 So we'll think more on that.
00:23:22.760 And we'll let you guys know as that comes online.
00:23:24.820 Evan Vanden turn.
00:23:27.260 How important is it to have a morning nightly routine?
00:23:30.760 I've recently started in a nightly routine and I've seen many changes.
00:23:33.920 Would either of you be willing to share what you do during those times?
00:23:37.820 Yeah.
00:23:38.400 I mean, the morning routine, I think is something that everybody hits on.
00:23:41.420 So we could go through that.
00:23:43.360 But again, you've heard us talk about, you've heard everybody talk about it.
00:23:46.880 The evening routine for me really starts at the end of my work day, because what I like
00:23:52.040 to do is I like to evaluate my, my, my day.
00:23:54.940 So I'll get out my battle planner and I'll go through and see what I did, see what I
00:24:00.120 didn't get done.
00:24:01.120 Think about how my day and strategy is going to be for the next day.
00:24:04.780 And really just start mapping out the next day this evening.
00:24:07.580 So that's how I shut down my work type schedule.
00:24:12.600 As far as, as far as at home, you know, we really like to have dinner as a family.
00:24:17.180 That's an important function that doesn't always happen, but I would say 80 to 90% of
00:24:22.400 the time we're having family at a family dinner, except for Wednesday nights.
00:24:26.880 Cause I'm, I'm gone on Wednesday nights training and things like that.
00:24:29.740 So I'm, I'm not doing it on Wednesday nights.
00:24:32.880 Uh, and then, yeah, in the evening, you know, my, the kids, like we'll usually, we, I don't
00:24:39.640 know, we might do Legos or we have mats in the front room.
00:24:42.600 So we might wrestle around a little bit, but I try to spend as much time with them for a
00:24:47.540 couple hours in the evening as, as we can.
00:24:50.200 So we get that done, uh, put them all to bed.
00:24:53.820 So we have a little routine for putting them to bed.
00:24:55.700 The littles go to bed earlier than, than the older ones.
00:24:58.300 We stay up a little bit later with the older ones.
00:25:00.960 Uh, and then when all the kids are in bed, you know, my wife and I might watch a show
00:25:04.140 together or one of the nicest things is just, uh, we just reading, like we'll just sit in
00:25:10.080 bed and read and I'm reading the road right now.
00:25:13.200 Um, and so, yeah, we'll just read and fall asleep.
00:25:16.240 And that's kind of nice.
00:25:17.660 There's a, I started drinking this like nighttime tea as well, that was probably a year ago.
00:25:24.040 And I don't do that every night, but it's so good.
00:25:27.120 And it's just, it's all natural.
00:25:28.600 It just soothes you, it soothes you, relaxes you.
00:25:31.120 And man, that just puts me out really quickly as well.
00:25:33.720 So yeah, that's my, that's my evening routine.
00:25:37.360 That reminds me, I need to buy some of that stuff.
00:25:39.860 I took a picture of it last time I was at your place.
00:25:42.280 Yeah.
00:25:43.440 Yeah.
00:25:44.120 And then I don't know what it is.
00:25:45.760 It just makes sense.
00:25:46.740 Yeah.
00:25:46.940 That, yeah, that stuff was good.
00:25:48.680 That worked out well.
00:25:49.880 Um, you know what?
00:25:50.960 I suck.
00:25:51.680 I suck at this.
00:25:52.940 Uh, I, it's a shit show.
00:25:55.160 So it's like, we are running around all the time.
00:25:59.440 Dinner's at a different time.
00:26:01.600 Usually around eight, I start yelling around nine.
00:26:05.160 I start laying down the hammer.
00:26:07.240 I'm pissed off.
00:26:08.920 Kids are in bed too late.
00:26:10.860 And, uh, I go to bed frustrated and upset.
00:26:13.980 My wife's angry at me. 1.00
00:26:15.080 That's, that's, that's our routine.
00:26:16.840 That's your routine for the evening.
00:26:18.560 Sounds like you some work.
00:26:20.260 Uh, yeah, I need to, I just, man, I, we don't have a routine.
00:26:24.800 It's just, it's chaotic.
00:26:26.200 And I think it's, we just have too much going on and I need to work with Asia to like, I 0.99
00:26:32.500 don't know, get a routine going.
00:26:33.960 We're not on the same page and we're, we're kind of all over the place.
00:26:36.960 One thing that, that we have been doing, that's kind of nice, uh, and I, I won't take
00:26:41.880 zero, I'll take zero credit for it.
00:26:43.520 It's actually my wife.
00:26:44.300 Um, right before we say family prayers, she will, um,
00:26:50.720 say everyone to sit on the floor in the living room and we'll do these stretches.
00:26:54.320 So like these sitting stretches.
00:26:56.060 Yeah.
00:26:56.440 Because she's doing them because her back's hurting her a little bit. 0.73
00:27:00.040 And so she's just incorporated this.
00:27:01.820 So we have like this mini little, like yoga strategy session.
00:27:05.320 That's cool.
00:27:06.040 Yeah.
00:27:06.260 For like 15 minutes.
00:27:07.480 And then we'll say prayers, read scriptures and go to bed.
00:27:09.960 So we're at least doing that part.
00:27:11.680 But usually there's a whole lot of yelling and frustration leading up to it, which totally
00:27:15.720 makes the whole scripture and prayer completely like in conflict.
00:27:22.280 I don't know.
00:27:22.860 I'm just like every night gone.
00:27:24.500 Oh man.
00:27:25.780 But so, yeah.
00:27:27.040 I mean the fact, even that though, scripture and prayer, we don't do that.
00:27:30.720 That's something that we can incorporate.
00:27:32.340 That'd be really helpful.
00:27:33.080 But yeah, those are good things.
00:27:35.280 It's hard to, when you have older kids who are all involved in sports, like they're all
00:27:39.560 involved in different sports, we don't really, we had that during football season, it was
00:27:45.020 a little rough because my two oldest boys play football on different teams.
00:27:49.780 And so that was, and then we, our daughter was doing dance.
00:27:52.860 So that was a little rough.
00:27:53.800 So as they get older, that becomes harder and harder to do.
00:27:56.960 But yeah, I think it's, it's important as best.
00:27:59.920 You can get it down, nail it down.
00:28:01.640 Yeah.
00:28:02.420 I do like what you said though.
00:28:04.780 And I, and I've done a pretty decent job at this is I've, I've left.
00:28:08.820 I used to leave the office rushed with the idea that like, oh, I'll do that when I get
00:28:15.020 home tonight and I've stopped doing that.
00:28:18.700 Yeah.
00:28:19.100 So I don't leave the office unless I'm done leaving the office.
00:28:22.560 And when I leave, I'm leaving, right.
00:28:24.460 Me, AKA, I don't plan to do any work when I go home because I've learned if I try to multitask
00:28:33.140 that never works out well.
00:28:34.480 And I'm usually angry and I'm frustrated and yeah.
00:28:38.300 And let's be honest, like priorities, right?
00:28:40.320 Like I'm going home to be with my family, not to work.
00:28:43.600 So I know I just feel, yeah, there's the family dynamic, but I just feel mentally, I just feel
00:28:49.140 better.
00:28:49.760 I'm more confident when I actually have a list of things that I need to get done during
00:28:54.820 the day.
00:28:55.580 So I actually come prepared to the office with a list of things I need to get done.
00:28:59.840 You know, I could pull it out and have the 10 things there.
00:29:01.840 And then you update that list before you call it a day.
00:29:05.700 So, you know where you're at.
00:29:07.680 Yeah.
00:29:07.980 And I have, it's a weekly planner.
00:29:09.660 It's not a daily planner.
00:29:10.600 It's a weekly planner.
00:29:11.520 So I write down everything for the week and some of it gets X'd out and new things get
00:29:15.220 added to it for the week.
00:29:16.700 But man, I'll tell you if I, today, if I do six or seven of those things on that list,
00:29:21.620 man, I feel really good.
00:29:23.340 And it's one thing I've noticed as well is it's easier to shut off when you know, you've
00:29:29.320 been productive at work, when you haven't been productive and you've been dinking around,
00:29:33.540 you didn't get anything accomplished.
00:29:34.600 You don't even know what you did or what you should have done behind the eight ball.
00:29:37.720 Yeah.
00:29:38.220 And then that of course is a bigger conflict with your other priorities.
00:29:41.640 So I've, I've, I just feel better when a lot gets done.
00:29:45.280 And so I just crank not all the time, admittedly, but when I do, man, when I'm firing on all cylinders,
00:29:51.960 everything is better.
00:29:53.680 Definitely the family life is better.
00:29:56.460 William Caleb hair.
00:29:58.160 What sort of criteria does you and your family have for getting involved in a church?
00:30:04.760 Criteria for getting involved in a church.
00:30:07.280 Well, we actually started going to a Baptist church recently.
00:30:11.020 I would say over the past six months, five or six months, maybe five, four or five months
00:30:16.100 regardless.
00:30:18.000 And I'll tell you the reason that we were, the reason that we.
00:30:21.560 Not, not upset with, but the reason we kind of stopped going to the LDS church, frankly,
00:30:28.040 is during COVID there was a lot of weak leadership that we, that we really struggled with.
00:30:33.660 You know, they wanted to mask everybody and we couldn't congregate and they didn't want us to sing.
00:30:39.480 And they didn't want us to like talk to each other before, after very strange, very strange.
00:30:46.200 Um, you know, I understand to a degree in the early days of COVID, I, you know, I get it, but it was pretty apparent what was going on very quickly.
00:30:56.120 And I was really, really jaded with that, unfortunately.
00:31:01.820 Uh, but we've, we've, we have some friends here, uh, that had been going to this church and have really enjoyed it.
00:31:07.620 And I'll tell you what they did that they were just, they're just good people.
00:31:14.480 That's it.
00:31:15.120 They, they fellowship, fellowshiped the way Christians should fellowship.
00:31:19.740 You know, it wasn't always like, Hey, go to church gospel.
00:31:23.040 Here's this year.
00:31:23.680 No, it wasn't like that.
00:31:24.500 It was like, every time I talked to, to them, uh, Betsy and Dom, like I could, I could feel that they actually cared about us.
00:31:33.700 Like they were vested in us.
00:31:35.360 They cared about me.
00:31:36.400 They cared about my wife.
00:31:37.460 They cared about our children.
00:31:38.880 And, um, they did nice things for us.
00:31:41.320 They, they invited us to their place.
00:31:43.380 They wanted to go to Brett.
00:31:44.240 Like they did things.
00:31:46.480 And then I felt that.
00:31:48.420 And I was like, man, you know, there's something different about these two.
00:31:52.400 And they, I think they invited us to, to church at one time.
00:31:56.120 And we went to church and the criteria that really helped me see that I really liked going was number one.
00:32:04.480 I felt the spirit that, that to me is the biggest criteria.
00:32:08.160 Like if you're not feeling anything, something's wrong.
00:32:11.220 You should feel something.
00:32:12.860 So I felt the spirit.
00:32:14.400 Like I haven't in a very long time.
00:32:16.300 It was actually hard for me, even during singing to not be emotional as we were singing.
00:32:21.840 And I'm not an overly emotional person.
00:32:24.280 So that was an indicator.
00:32:25.760 I'm like, that's weird.
00:32:27.260 Uh, our pastor strong man convicted the way that he shares his message, the way that he breaks down scripture.
00:32:35.200 Um, even I won't say his political views, but cultural views are in line with what I think of Christianity.
00:32:42.020 And he's not afraid to, to, to share those things.
00:32:47.280 Uh, and then just in general, the fellowship that goes on within the community, um, people have potluck dinner.
00:32:54.300 They do once a month.
00:32:55.220 In fact, next week they're doing it at our house.
00:32:56.820 So like, there's, there's other things outside of just gospel.
00:32:59.640 It's the spirit that really made us feel good for being there.
00:33:04.300 That's what I would say.
00:33:05.480 I like it.
00:33:06.340 I like it.
00:33:07.540 Scott Thistle, easy times make soft people, soft people make tough times, et cetera.
00:33:13.240 We have very hard times on the horizon.
00:33:15.860 What can we do to start making tough people as soon as possible?
00:33:20.600 Well, you got it.
00:33:21.360 We got to get tough now.
00:33:22.200 So we have to put ourselves in difficult situations, challenging situations, right?
00:33:26.800 It's like the other day we were talking about, what was it?
00:33:29.660 Suffering versus discomfort, I think.
00:33:33.600 So we need to put ourselves in situations where we're not comfortable.
00:33:38.140 We need to try different things.
00:33:40.100 We need to go speak on stage.
00:33:41.980 We need to, uh, try new physical challenges, whether that's jujitsu or go to the gym.
00:33:47.100 The more that we can do now, the better off we're going to be.
00:33:50.400 And then we also need to base our, uh, fundamental life views on principles.
00:33:57.240 So that this is why we talk about the church.
00:33:59.420 It's principally based and you don't even have to be spiritual to understand, uh, why
00:34:05.100 you should live like that.
00:34:07.660 And I don't think that's exclusive to Christianity.
00:34:10.620 Those are a lot of those are Christian based principles, but the reality is, is they can
00:34:15.400 be secular based and you're just going to live a better life if you follow those anyways.
00:34:19.260 So if we're, if we're basing our decisions on strong fundamental principles, then we're
00:34:28.680 going to live a better life.
00:34:29.760 So we need to do that ourselves and we need to refrain from acting in ways that aren't
00:34:35.480 congruent with those principles.
00:34:36.720 That's a challenge admittedly for me and for everybody else.
00:34:40.940 And then we need to teach that sound principle based instruction to our children.
00:34:46.840 And we can't let them deviate into this gender non-conformity stuff. 1.00
00:34:53.120 We can't turn into a communist culture.
00:34:56.780 Like we can't lock each other down.
00:34:59.960 We can't spend as a government or a, or a citizenry, uh, an exorbitant amount of money
00:35:05.620 that we don't have in exchange for nothing.
00:35:09.480 Like we need to become self-reliant as a country.
00:35:12.900 We're definitely not anymore.
00:35:14.520 We were at one point, all of these things are just principally sound.
00:35:18.700 We need to live that individually and we need to foster that in our, in our children.
00:35:23.400 And the more we deviate from that, the worse it's going to get temporarily.
00:35:26.740 It might feel really good, but the worse it's going to get, and it's going to get ugly if
00:35:30.880 we can't return back to principles.
00:35:33.340 Yeah.
00:35:34.040 And it's done.
00:35:35.120 I'm assuming you'd agree, you know, that starts in the home.
00:35:39.480 Yeah, of course.
00:35:40.300 You know, it's, it's funny, you know, politics, you know, over the last couple of months, everyone's
00:35:45.680 like, Oh, vote this, vote that.
00:35:47.260 And it's like, you know, or, or we have a tendency to latch on to what we don't like.
00:35:52.500 Right.
00:35:52.880 We're like, Oh my gosh, you know, society and government or whatever.
00:35:56.700 And we kind of look, I, and I don't know, this is just my take on this, but we kind of
00:36:00.900 look at politics as the answer.
00:36:02.500 You know, it's like, Oh, well, vote the right people.
00:36:04.600 And actually, you know what, this wouldn't even be an issue.
00:36:07.540 Some of these would not even be issues if it wasn't for the citizens of this country.
00:36:14.920 And, and that's the home, that's the people, you know?
00:36:19.100 And, and, and so some of these political issues are political issues because of, of, to be
00:36:24.040 frank, because of our citizens.
00:36:25.940 And so you want to make a larger lasting impact.
00:36:31.360 Don't, it's not, and don't get me wrong.
00:36:33.140 I'm not saying voting is not important, but like, that's the only one aspect of it.
00:36:36.560 Right.
00:36:36.960 What are you doing in your neighborhood?
00:36:38.180 What are you doing in your community?
00:36:39.580 Right.
00:36:39.980 That's, that's probably more impactful and, and something that we should be focused on way
00:36:44.080 more than who to quote unquote vote for.
00:36:46.960 Let's be honest there.
00:36:48.600 Whoever's running for office is ready for office and will be voted based upon the people in your
00:36:53.300 neighborhood and, and, and society as a whole, you know?
00:36:57.160 So you don't like something, focus on that.
00:36:59.660 Yep.
00:37:00.300 And help other people do the same.
00:37:02.280 Yeah.
00:37:02.780 No, I don't think so.
00:37:03.420 I think that's right in line with what, what, what he's asking.
00:37:06.700 Joshua Gherkin, side hustles.
00:37:08.940 I'm in seminary full-time, but I want to bring in a little extra income.
00:37:12.360 So I'm, I'm assuming he's looking for some ideas on generating some side hustles.
00:37:16.860 I don't have any ideas for you.
00:37:18.360 You, you have ideas.
00:37:19.220 You just got to pick one.
00:37:20.060 Like, I know you have ideas.
00:37:21.220 I know you do.
00:37:22.380 We've had conversations like you have ideas.
00:37:25.840 So pick one and run with it.
00:37:27.540 And if you don't know what they are, here's a couple of questions to ask.
00:37:31.080 What would I be doing if money were of no concern?
00:37:34.320 All my income expenses, all that stuff, all taken care of.
00:37:37.460 Don't have to worry about money.
00:37:38.780 How would I spend my days?
00:37:40.840 Okay.
00:37:40.960 That's I would probably, me personally, I'd probably travel a little bit.
00:37:44.620 I would love to, to get more into woodworking and building.
00:37:47.860 Like there's things there I would do.
00:37:49.320 And so that gives us an idea that there might be something there that we should pursue.
00:37:54.740 Another one, what are you doing when time moves the fastest?
00:37:59.600 What are you doing when time moves the fastest?
00:38:01.480 So like jujitsu, time flies for me.
00:38:03.980 It's because I'm having a good time, right?
00:38:05.560 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm immersed.
00:38:06.960 I'm present.
00:38:08.120 You know, if I'm, if I'm hunting, time's going pretty quick.
00:38:11.540 If I'm building, you know, Legos with my youngest son, like time's moving pretty fast.
00:38:16.000 There's, there's things there.
00:38:17.940 There's opportunities there.
00:38:19.640 Another question is what do people ask you for advice or help with?
00:38:25.600 Because they recognize that you're good at something, whether it's a project or marketing.
00:38:33.240 I had somebody in the community reach out to me and ask about marketing the other day.
00:38:38.960 They said, Hey, I'm trying to build up my social media following and presence.
00:38:41.520 And here's some of my concerns.
00:38:43.100 And here, I don't want to come across as prideful, like really good questions.
00:38:46.320 And they were asking me, well, that's an indicator.
00:38:48.240 They think I'm pretty good at that.
00:38:49.720 So you start answering these questions and you're going to see some, a thread, a common thread
00:38:55.000 run between all of these different things that you're doing.
00:38:57.800 And that might lead you towards a path of, of a side hustle.
00:39:03.180 That's what I would do.
00:39:04.540 That's what I did when I started Order of Man.
00:39:07.360 And Ryan, the reason why you'd focus on those things, I'm assuming is because
00:39:10.860 there's some passion there, some interest there.
00:39:13.620 And because there's passion interest, your probability of success is even greater.
00:39:19.260 Is, is that kind of the reason of, you know, yeah, of course.
00:39:23.440 And, you know, people are like, Oh, there's no money in that.
00:39:26.140 No money in what?
00:39:28.280 Like, I've seen some weird stuff that people are making boatloads of money with.
00:39:33.380 Like think about, uh, think about, uh, Jake and Logan, Paul, I don't care if you like them
00:39:38.300 or not, you know, they're abrasive and, and, and yeah, of course.
00:39:42.200 What do they even do?
00:39:45.080 Yeah.
00:39:45.900 You're not even sure.
00:39:46.800 I don't, I'm not, I don't know.
00:39:48.060 Sure.
00:39:48.540 I mean, I know, I know, I know one of them, um, I think it's Logan is in the WWE and I
00:39:54.960 know Jake, you know, is, is trying to get, build up his, his boxing marketing career.
00:39:59.520 Like, like outside of that, what, like, what do they do?
00:40:02.480 And yet they're making millions and millions and millions of dollars.
00:40:05.460 Another one I hear from my oldest all the time, Andrew Tate.
00:40:08.580 Like, I don't know what he does.
00:40:12.480 I have no idea what he does.
00:40:14.920 Like you can make money doing anything, absolutely anything.
00:40:19.960 So follow what is intriguing, enticing, interesting to you.
00:40:23.960 And yeah, you can make money doing it.
00:40:25.780 Absolutely.
00:40:26.260 Anthony Dito, how do you take time to relax?
00:40:31.320 Can I say one of the big kip on that last one? 0.66
00:40:32.200 Sorry.
00:40:33.280 Yeah, no worries.
00:40:33.860 Whatever you do, whatever you do, learn to be a good marketer.
00:40:37.320 Always focus on marketing.
00:40:38.860 The better marketer you can be, the more money you can make, the more people you can serve.
00:40:42.660 If you don't have the marketing stuff down, yeah, you probably won't make any money.
00:40:46.840 You got to learn how to be a good marketer.
00:40:48.940 So that's, I'll leave that there for now.
00:40:50.400 That might be a whole other lesson.
00:40:51.360 Anthony Dito, how do you take time to relax and focus on family in between the grinds
00:40:57.760 of work and life, just coming out of the holiday and getting that time to recharge and relax?
00:41:02.000 So, and we kind of talked about this a little bit earlier, maybe as part of your evening
00:41:05.920 routine, but you know, maybe there's more there.
00:41:08.860 I'm not really good at this and it's created some challenges habitually in my relationship
00:41:14.740 is because I focus so heavily on what we're doing here because I love it.
00:41:20.360 Like I really actually enjoy it.
00:41:23.100 And so it's hard for me to shut it off in the evening and think about something else
00:41:28.000 or shift focus or shift gears.
00:41:29.840 So that's been a challenge.
00:41:31.460 You know, over the past couple of months, I have been very focused on trying to build
00:41:36.900 some of that backup.
00:41:38.060 So, you know, Legos, easy, right?
00:41:41.280 You know, I could spend a half with them.
00:41:43.440 Yeah.
00:41:43.960 Doing something they want to do and they pick, you know?
00:41:46.180 So my youngest, you know, he loves Legos.
00:41:48.260 He also likes to draw.
00:41:49.400 So occasionally I'll say, Hey dad, can we draw?
00:41:51.900 My daughter, she, she actually likes to wrestle. 1.00
00:41:54.480 She's like, Hey dad, can we wrestle?
00:41:55.720 I'm like, yeah, let's go wrestle.
00:41:58.220 My, my second son, he is, he loves shoes.
00:42:03.480 Like, like Nikes and like the old school ones.
00:42:06.540 And then he loves the, he loves shoes.
00:42:08.940 And he's like, look at these shoes.
00:42:10.060 These are, you know, $5,000 and these are rare because of this and that.
00:42:13.220 And so he'll watch a video on YouTube about shoes and he's like, dad, um, I want to like
00:42:18.640 display all my shoes.
00:42:19.980 So with him, we built a wrap, a shell, a shelf rack in, in his room.
00:42:24.660 And then I was at Walmart like a week ago and they have the led light strips kind of like
00:42:31.000 these right here that can change any color.
00:42:33.020 So I bought two or three of them and I brought them home.
00:42:35.740 I'm like, look, dude.
00:42:36.580 And he's like, Oh, that's cool.
00:42:37.620 I'm like, look, we can put them on your shelves and you could change what color you want.
00:42:40.620 And so we did the project and so he's got his shoes displayed with their boxes.
00:42:44.740 And then it got the led lights on there.
00:42:47.580 I don't care about shoes, but he loves them.
00:42:49.540 So it's like, I love them.
00:42:51.380 You know, my oldest, um, man, anything hunting related, like, in fact, I can turn, I can't,
00:42:58.200 I was going to turn my camera, but I can't do it.
00:43:00.280 Cause it's this external one on my computer, but we just hung our, our deer mounts up on
00:43:04.560 the wall.
00:43:05.020 So that looks pretty cool.
00:43:06.160 Um, yeah.
00:43:07.740 So anything hunting related, if I go out and we could, we could look at our trail cameras,
00:43:13.420 uh, we could go out for a walk and look at tracks in the field.
00:43:16.680 Like he loves that stuff.
00:43:18.000 So you figure out each one of them, what they're into and you know, you make it happen.
00:43:22.900 Yeah.
00:43:24.300 Ideas Ryan on, I mean, let me see it this way.
00:43:28.620 Cause I, I struggle with this as well.
00:43:30.740 Um, and, and, and I, I think there's tactics, right.
00:43:36.600 That we could focus on, but maybe like, how do you get in the mindset that like, Hey, you
00:43:41.760 know what?
00:43:41.980 This is more important.
00:43:43.320 You know what I mean?
00:43:44.380 Is there recommendations that you have of like, I don't know, getting behind the idea that
00:43:50.320 like, I need to let go of the grind and work, you know, and focus on our family.
00:43:54.660 I got one for you.
00:43:56.080 Imagine if you couldn't do your job anymore for whatever reason, you couldn't do your job.
00:44:01.640 What would you do?
00:44:03.120 Well, you'd find a new job, right?
00:44:05.880 You'd go out and you'd find a new job.
00:44:07.380 You'd find a new company to work with.
00:44:10.000 You'd start a business.
00:44:10.860 Like you do something, but you'd find something else.
00:44:13.060 Yeah.
00:44:13.840 Okay.
00:44:14.080 Now imagine your family's no longer there.
00:44:18.960 Your family's gone.
00:44:20.300 What do you do?
00:44:21.240 Yeah.
00:44:21.460 Bro, you're devastated.
00:44:22.840 So which one's more important?
00:44:26.460 That's it.
00:44:27.040 Like, like sit, sit with that for a minute or talk with somebody who's gone through a
00:44:31.820 divorce or, or hasn't seen their children in three years.
00:44:37.940 Like go ahead and talk with somebody about that.
00:44:39.780 See how they feel about their life.
00:44:41.940 Yeah.
00:44:42.340 That should be fuel enough.
00:44:44.460 It's sometimes it isn't for us and we have to learn the hard way and we will, you know,
00:44:48.920 but, uh, yeah, think on that for a minute.
00:44:52.240 I think that'll change your perspective.
00:44:53.740 I think a common pitfall that I have is I, and I've said this so many times on this podcast
00:45:01.060 and you think I would have learned by now, but it's just like this default behavior of
00:45:04.640 mine is that today's the exception, you know, that, that my lack of spending family time
00:45:11.500 tonight is because today is an exception.
00:45:15.040 It was a rough day and that tomorrow is going to somehow be different, you know, and, and
00:45:21.520 the reality of it is it's never different.
00:45:24.560 Like, I think that idea of today's the exception is okay.
00:45:28.600 If it's really the exception.
00:45:31.580 Yeah.
00:45:32.560 Yeah.
00:45:32.800 There are times where you, yes, then it's a problem.
00:45:36.100 Yeah.
00:45:36.960 Yeah, totally.
00:45:38.520 All right.
00:45:39.360 Gabriel Lord, my fortune real daughter.
00:45:41.980 And I want to start a podcast about dad, daughter topics, how to navigate the current
00:45:46.940 social landscape as a teenager.
00:45:48.880 Any tips?
00:45:50.180 No.
00:45:50.660 No, just, just start.
00:45:52.620 Sometimes I don't just start, just, just do it.
00:45:56.160 I mean, you're going to learn along the way that I think I did a little bit of a rant.
00:46:00.220 I think it was last week when people ask these questions because they want, and I don't know
00:46:05.920 that they're looking for an excuse necessarily.
00:46:09.060 It just, it just smells of like inaction to me.
00:46:14.120 That's all.
00:46:14.680 It's like, I don't have any tips.
00:46:16.980 It's like, just get a microphone.
00:46:19.260 You know, we use the Shure 7MB or something like that.
00:46:22.840 I don't know what it is.
00:46:23.500 Shure 7MB or something and check that out.
00:46:26.300 Um, yeah.
00:46:28.220 And just, just do it and just learn.
00:46:30.000 I would say a tip is just make sure you're constantly evaluating what you're doing so
00:46:34.660 that you can get better.
00:46:35.860 Um, keep that open lines of communication with her outside of doing it on the podcast.
00:46:40.840 So she, you know, how she's feeling about it.
00:46:43.340 Uh, and then consistency is a big one.
00:46:45.760 Um, even with my son, he said something the other day and I kind of, I felt really bad about
00:46:49.760 it actually.
00:46:50.360 And he didn't seem as excited about the podcast.
00:46:53.660 And, and I asked him about it.
00:46:55.000 He says, well, yeah, because you made it seem like it was unimportant is what he said to me.
00:47:01.040 And I said, really?
00:47:01.920 What, like, how did I do that?
00:47:02.940 And he said, well, you know, we would, we would be scheduled to record.
00:47:06.980 And then you had something come up and then we couldn't record.
00:47:09.760 And then we went a week without doing it.
00:47:12.000 And I was like, oh yeah.
00:47:13.580 And he's like, and you know how that made me feel?
00:47:15.700 This is what he said.
00:47:16.460 He said, it made me embarrassed because I thought people would judge me because of that.
00:47:23.500 I was inconsistent, but really it was you who was being inconsistent.
00:47:28.120 And I was like, oh man, it hurt my heart.
00:47:30.300 You know, like, I mean, he was, he was right.
00:47:32.220 He was a hundred percent.
00:47:33.080 Right.
00:47:33.780 It's awesome.
00:47:34.320 He shared that.
00:47:35.460 Yeah.
00:47:35.740 And, and I, and I honored him for that because, and I acknowledged that because I want him
00:47:39.480 to be able to share those things.
00:47:40.580 So I didn't blow up.
00:47:41.360 I was like, man, that first, I really appreciate you telling me.
00:47:45.020 And second, that must've been really hard for you to tell me because, you know, that's,
00:47:49.700 that's an uncomfortable conversation.
00:47:51.160 So I really admire your courage because I want him to continue to do that.
00:47:55.300 Yeah.
00:47:55.800 So he got a little jaded on it because I made it feel unimportant.
00:48:00.600 I made him feel like what I was doing was more important than what he was doing or what he
00:48:04.860 wanted to do.
00:48:06.240 And that was my fault, you know?
00:48:08.880 So we've been a lot more consistent with, with his podcast, man in the making.
00:48:13.380 And, um, it's been a lot of fun, you know?
00:48:16.020 And admittedly there's days where I'm like, man, I don't want to do this, but you know
00:48:19.180 what?
00:48:19.400 He wants to do it.
00:48:20.160 And I committed to doing it.
00:48:21.240 So we're going to do it.
00:48:22.600 Yeah.
00:48:22.920 Joe Courtney, how do you deal with one child's son who has an obvious interest in something
00:48:28.760 and wants to continually work to improve at it, which you also enjoy and have another
00:48:33.280 child, which is also a son who hasn't found his thing that he loves yet.
00:48:37.580 How do you avoid favoring one over the other?
00:48:40.480 The ages are 12 and nine.
00:48:41.820 If that helps, I'm not saying my nine-year-old has to make decisions, but I'm constantly worried
00:48:46.900 that he, that he will think that I spend more time with his brother and favor him because
00:48:51.780 his brother loves something that I also enjoy while he only casually likes it, which I'm
00:48:56.920 totally fine with.
00:48:58.580 Bro, I could have wrote that question.
00:49:00.820 Like that could have been a question that I would have wrote.
00:49:03.580 Cause that, that's my oldest son, him and I are very much the same.
00:49:07.540 We hunt, we do all the things together and my others, yeah, not, not as much, you know?
00:49:11.840 So where he hasn't found his thing yet, what I would say is make that the project and the
00:49:18.520 adventures, like let's try different things, you know, and, and, and look for those opportunities,
00:49:23.380 but that could be fun for you too.
00:49:25.800 You know, like shoes.
00:49:27.320 I don't like shoes.
00:49:28.280 I don't care about shoes all that much, not that big a deal to me, but I do like building.
00:49:32.180 You know, I like, I like using my hands.
00:49:33.920 I like using the tools and woodworking.
00:49:35.520 And so we built the shelves and, you know, it took an afternoon, but not a big deal.
00:49:39.480 And we were able to bond over shoes, but not shoes exactly, but something, you know?
00:49:45.820 And I remember years ago, we went to Vegas.
00:49:48.360 I took my oldest son, excuse me, my second son to Vegas.
00:49:51.000 Cause I know he's really into cars.
00:49:53.520 And we went to a couple of different racetracks where you could rent a car and drive it around
00:49:57.280 the racetrack, but he was too light at the time.
00:50:00.180 So we went to, I think we went to two or three racetracks and all of them, he was too
00:50:03.400 light for.
00:50:04.080 So then I went to the exotic car rental place.
00:50:06.620 I'm like, fine, we'll just rent a car.
00:50:08.020 And we rented, I don't even, I didn't even know what it was, like an Acura BMG or who
00:50:14.340 know?
00:50:14.560 I don't even know what it was.
00:50:15.600 He knew exactly what it was.
00:50:17.160 MDX, Acura MDX.
00:50:19.260 Maybe, sure.
00:50:20.540 I don't know.
00:50:21.600 It was a choice between that.
00:50:23.580 And I think it was a Lamborghini.
00:50:26.000 I'm like, I'm like, what do you want?
00:50:27.540 I'm like, he's going to say the lamp.
00:50:28.420 That's what I want.
00:50:29.160 Lamborghini's like, oh, I want the Acura, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:30.960 I'm like, really?
00:50:31.920 And the guy's like, he's like, really?
00:50:34.080 And my son's like, yeah.
00:50:35.060 And then we were getting some paperwork filled out and the guy came up to me and he's like,
00:50:40.440 hey, why did your son choose that car over the Lambo?
00:50:43.520 I'm like, I don't know.
00:50:44.200 That's the one he wanted.
00:50:44.780 He's like, we made the right choice.
00:50:46.340 I'm like, what do you mean?
00:50:47.440 He's like, that's a way better car than that Lambo.
00:50:50.720 But most kids would go for the Lambo.
00:50:52.640 I'm like, well, he knows cars.
00:50:53.940 So I don't know.
00:50:54.360 I just let him pick.
00:50:55.660 And we spent three or four hours driving around Vegas.
00:50:59.340 And, you know, we went to those, that those stacks of rocks that are different colors.
00:51:03.420 You know, have you seen those just outside of Vegas?
00:51:06.120 Outside of Vegas?
00:51:07.480 South side of Vegas.
00:51:08.580 Yeah.
00:51:10.240 Yeah.
00:51:10.660 So I don't know.
00:51:11.900 We just, we just kind of explore and we find things that they're interested in.
00:51:14.860 And then you just, you just do it, but make figuring it out the project and the thing
00:51:19.680 that's fun.
00:51:20.160 And I think you could have a pretty good time with that as well.
00:51:22.880 Yeah.
00:51:23.260 Also give him some one-on-one time.
00:51:25.500 Like it doesn't have to always be his brother and him just say, Hey, you know what?
00:51:28.600 Thursday, you and me, like, let's go.
00:51:31.800 I don't know.
00:51:32.260 I don't know where you live.
00:51:32.780 Let's go to the shooting range or let's go do jujitsu together.
00:51:35.340 Or, Hey, there's this art class or, Hey, I know you really like cooking.
00:51:38.920 Like there's a cooking class.
00:51:40.160 Like we'll go over to that cooking class and we'll do that.
00:51:42.160 And then we'll grab a bite to eat afterwards.
00:51:44.280 We can do that.
00:51:44.960 We can all do that.
00:51:46.360 Like one thing I did last week is I took my daughter on a date.
00:51:50.720 You know, it's been a long time since we did that.
00:51:52.240 And I said, Hey, would you like to go on a date with me?
00:51:54.360 And she's like, what?
00:51:55.160 Like a date?
00:51:55.680 I'm like, yeah, like a date.
00:51:56.560 You and me.
00:51:57.040 She's like, yeah, I'd love that.
00:51:58.960 So we went to Walmart and did a little Christmas shopping for her brother who, who she has.
00:52:04.220 We rotate gifts.
00:52:05.000 She has this year and her, and her mom.
00:52:07.560 And then we went to dinner.
00:52:09.880 I got a reservation for dinner and just her and I, and we had a great time, you know,
00:52:14.220 and that's all it took.
00:52:14.840 It took, I don't know, an hour and a half.
00:52:17.000 And it was a great time.
00:52:18.040 It was a great evening.
00:52:19.080 Totally.
00:52:19.220 All right.
00:52:20.120 Last question.
00:52:21.320 Dylan Isaacson.
00:52:22.880 My family does a monthly call to keep in touch.
00:52:25.120 That seems spurred from outside sources.
00:52:28.620 Parents thought it was a good idea, but it seems like no one is investing in, and other
00:52:32.660 than my parents to see their kids and grandkids.
00:52:34.820 Make sense.
00:52:35.260 I can see it being more a spiritual enriching experience for everyone as well as getting
00:52:40.840 to see everyone once a month, which was part of the initial goal.
00:52:44.200 How do I move forward with starting to try and change it so it can be more than it is
00:52:48.860 now for my family?
00:52:50.920 I just think you, you say exactly what you said to your family.
00:52:54.760 So on that call, you say, Hey, look, I get the reason we're doing this.
00:52:58.700 Everybody's going to be connected.
00:52:59.780 There's the spiritual element of it.
00:53:01.040 Like, I think it's really cool, but honestly, I don't feel like everybody's in it, which is
00:53:04.640 cool.
00:53:04.980 We're all busy.
00:53:05.580 We all have our lives and stuff.
00:53:06.980 I had an idea for next month when we do it.
00:53:09.280 And I would like to run next month call or visit or whatever it is.
00:53:12.720 Is it a call or a visit?
00:53:13.600 I didn't quite catch that.
00:53:14.500 I think it's a online call, like a video call.
00:53:18.060 Yeah.
00:53:18.700 So I would say, so guys, if you don't mind, like I have some cool ideas and I want to
00:53:23.500 surprise you with them.
00:53:25.100 But would you mind if I ran next month's video?
00:53:28.340 Like, are you, everybody's going to say yes, of course.
00:53:30.760 And then you just run it.
00:53:32.460 And then you ask them, like, what did you guys think of that?
00:53:34.360 Did you like, did you like it?
00:53:35.500 Did you not like it?
00:53:36.500 What, what part should we keep in there?
00:53:38.100 What should we kind of mix?
00:53:39.900 Yeah.
00:53:40.360 Just share it with them.
00:53:41.840 Well, and the power of ownership is right here, man.
00:53:44.980 And so Dylan, you do one, one week or one month, and then you go to your sibling and
00:53:49.860 go, you get a host next month.
00:53:51.680 You get next month.
00:53:52.440 Yeah.
00:53:52.540 And you, you get to choose it.
00:53:53.920 And now they're going to be invested in a way different way than just you running the
00:53:59.780 call.
00:54:00.200 If, if they get to play a part in what that looks like.
00:54:03.180 So enroll them and have them actually participate as well.
00:54:06.860 And that should get more people active.
00:54:10.780 One thing we actually did this on zoom.
00:54:12.860 I think it was last year that we did it.
00:54:15.180 The, all the family got together and everybody called in on zoom and it was a talent show,
00:54:22.060 which was actually, it was actually kind of cool.
00:54:24.880 Super funny.
00:54:25.680 Yeah.
00:54:25.920 It was just a little talent show.
00:54:27.500 Each person had what they were going to do.
00:54:29.220 Um, you know, some people read other people saying the cousins, you know, did, did a
00:54:35.200 little, like we did a little, um, dance, like me and my wife and kids, we choreographed
00:54:40.180 a dance.
00:54:40.580 So we danced for, for everybody else.
00:54:42.600 Like it was fun, you know?
00:54:43.840 So something like that's always a good time too.
00:54:46.300 Yeah.
00:54:47.060 Cool.
00:54:47.980 All right, man.
00:54:49.180 Yeah.
00:54:49.380 That's all the questions for today.
00:54:51.060 Okay.
00:54:51.220 Um, so key things, um, cyber Monday, I'm assuming we still have some cells at store.orderofman.com
00:54:58.760 for the holiday.
00:55:00.640 Uh, well, no, because it's Wednesday.
00:55:03.160 This is released on Wednesday.
00:55:04.540 So.
00:55:04.980 Oh yeah.
00:55:05.780 So this stuff ended on Monday.
00:55:08.300 There are some clearance items you can go check out, but, uh, yeah, you can get your stuff.
00:55:12.540 We'll probably do some more sales before the end of the year anyway.
00:55:14.500 So store.orderofman.com.
00:55:17.380 Yeah.
00:55:17.780 And then the other thing is we're going to be opening up membership for the iron council
00:55:21.440 in a couple of weeks.
00:55:23.560 So stay tuned, uh, to learn more about the iron council, go to orderofman.com slash iron
00:55:28.440 council.
00:55:28.960 That's our exclusive brotherhood.
00:55:30.920 And if you want to get in for the new year, your window of opportunity is going to be in
00:55:35.580 a couple of weeks.
00:55:36.260 So you're going to have to act on that.
00:55:38.920 Yes, sir.
00:55:39.880 Hopefully to see you guys in there, we've got a good group of guys and we're going to do
00:55:43.020 a lot of great things coming into 2023.
00:55:45.520 Cool.
00:55:45.900 All right, brother.
00:55:46.680 All right.
00:55:46.900 I appreciate you guys.
00:55:47.660 I appreciate you.
00:55:48.460 Thanks for the questions.
00:55:49.240 Hopefully we gave you some things to think about, uh, and we will be back on Friday for
00:55:53.460 your Friday field notes until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant
00:55:57.660 to be.
00:55:58.060 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:56:00.660 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:56:04.720 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.