Order of Man - Boosting Testosterone Naturally, Overcoming Temptation, and Making the Most of Reading a Book ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.000 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.480 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.700 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.960 Kip, what's up man? Good to see you. Looks like we got our uniform on today.

00:00:28.120 You got the hat. You got a black shirt. We're a different style.

00:00:32.560 That's right. This is the uniform of Order of Man, just so you guys know.

00:00:36.420 If you ever have any questions, let those questions be put to rest.

00:00:40.660 Yeah. Check us on YouTube if you need assistance on how to dress.

00:00:44.260 Oh, but you don't have the right drink, though. That's wrong.

00:00:46.360 I know.

00:00:46.900 That's the wrong part of the uniform.

00:00:48.920 And once I said that, I was immediately like, Tanner would not approve of our T-shirts.

00:00:53.440 Yeah. But Tanner wears leopard print suede T-shirts or button-up shirts. So no, he's got it locked in like 88% of the time.

00:01:07.280 The other 12, I'm like, yeah, I don't know. But that's different. I've got it unlocked 12% of the time.

00:01:12.180 And the other 88% of the time, I look like this.

00:01:15.140 Yeah. Tanner's pushing the envelope a little bit.

00:01:18.800 Well, that's his job, right? He's immersed. He's in the deal.

00:01:22.380 By the way, no, truly though, I've seen the guys that he's worked with and he's worked with me a little bit.

00:01:28.640 Obviously, I have not taken it totally to heart.

00:01:30.860 But when I do, I look pretty good, but not today.

00:01:36.800 So don't watch this, Tanner. Just listen.

00:01:39.380 Yeah.

00:01:41.320 I'm still dealing with some issues.

00:01:43.660 I think I might have hurt myself again.

00:01:47.060 What's your update?

00:01:50.700 I have a partially ruptured pectoral tendon.

00:01:55.020 And that's the, so I'm going to have surgery probably in two or three weeks.

00:02:00.780 And then I'm going to, I think I'm, I mean, why wouldn't I get surgery?

00:02:05.180 I'm young. I'm active. I'm going to be out for several months, but why wouldn't I do that?

00:02:11.260 It's mechanically it's compromised.

00:02:14.580 It's, you know, I've got a little bit of a lot, a lot, it's a lot weaker.

00:02:19.760 And so I'm going to be active.

00:02:21.820 So just go get the dang surgery and get it done.

00:02:24.880 And my goal is to be ready to go for immersion camp in the end of August.

00:02:30.700 Got it.

00:02:31.780 So the tear is big enough that, that they're recommending surgery.

00:02:35.180 It's not like a small partial.

00:02:37.040 Yeah. Yeah.

00:02:38.240 It's sorry, man.

00:02:39.280 That sucks.

00:02:41.340 I did it to myself.

00:02:42.680 Just being dumb.

00:02:43.560 It wasn't, it wasn't like it was.

00:02:47.780 I, I was just being dumb and I knew that's the best way to say I knew.

00:02:51.820 You knew better.

00:02:52.780 And I still did it.

00:02:54.080 And I created a problem for myself.

00:02:55.740 Isn't that life?

00:02:56.680 We know better and we still make poor decisions and then we suffer the consequences.

00:03:00.820 And that's what I'm dealing with right now.

00:03:02.220 And next time that opportunity comes up in your mind, you'll go, you know what?

00:03:06.660 Not this time.

00:03:07.820 Not this time.

00:03:08.380 I don't know.

00:03:08.560 I'm pretty dense.

00:03:09.280 I might do it again.

00:03:10.080 Now that you have a bionic peck after your surgery.

00:03:15.520 Yeah.

00:03:16.080 Can you just put a metal plate of some sort in there so I can do this with three or four

00:03:21.260 times the power and speed?

00:03:23.540 Ryan's like, you know, if you could put a little bit of CCs on that side, you know,

00:03:28.000 get a little.

00:03:29.500 It's like, um, Oh, what was the show?

00:03:32.420 Rookie of the year.

00:03:33.180 You remember that?

00:03:33.760 And the kid like breaks his arm and attendance or whatever.

00:03:37.180 You don't remember that show?

00:03:38.400 No.

00:03:39.100 Rookie of the year.

00:03:40.280 Freight.

00:03:40.700 Something roll.

00:03:41.380 Henry Roland Gardner.

00:03:42.580 Oh, come on, bro.

00:03:43.740 How old is this movie?

00:03:45.160 Well, you're old.

00:03:46.040 Substantially older than I am.

00:03:47.660 How old are you?

00:03:49.120 How old are you?

00:03:50.140 I'm older than you.

00:03:51.200 I'm 40.

00:03:51.900 You're older than me.

00:03:52.740 I'm 41.

00:03:54.140 So maybe it's a little behind your time, but rookie of the year, go watch it with your

00:03:57.860 kids.

00:03:58.560 The guy's a kid.

00:03:59.940 His arm ends up healing like too tight.

00:04:03.120 He like tears his arm or tears a muscle or a tendon and heals too tight.

00:04:06.260 And then he ends up going to play, I think for the Cubs.

00:04:08.980 Oh yeah.

00:04:09.660 And he's like 14 or 13.

00:04:11.820 Yeah.

00:04:12.040 Like he's a young kid with a wicked arm.

00:04:14.680 Yeah.

00:04:15.000 Henry Roland Gardner.

00:04:16.040 Come on now.

00:04:17.480 All right.

00:04:17.720 Let's get into some questions.

00:04:18.740 If you threw out Sandlot, I would have been able to reference, but a rookie of the year,

00:04:22.640 you know, I'll work on it.

00:04:24.420 Yeah.

00:04:24.720 Sandlots too.

00:04:25.480 Like everybody knows that I'm trying to go for these like little fringe things that

00:04:28.820 only the best know about.

00:04:31.180 All right.

00:04:31.740 We're building questions from the foundry and from the iron council actually to learn

00:04:36.800 more about the IC.

00:04:38.280 I'm hesitant throughout web URLs.

00:04:40.720 I guess it doesn't work.

00:04:41.780 Is this at one point?

00:04:42.320 All right.

00:04:42.960 Let me, okay.

00:04:43.940 Let me say, let me complain a little bit more before I get into questions.

00:04:46.680 And there is a lesson here guys.

00:04:48.300 So two weeks ago, two weeks ago, my website.

00:04:52.840 Crashed.

00:04:53.200 A lot of you guys have tried to get on the website and have messaged me and I appreciate

00:04:56.600 the concern.

00:04:57.320 I know.

00:04:57.720 I know it's down.

00:04:58.580 Okay.

00:04:59.060 Trust me.

00:04:59.620 I know it's impacted me more than it's impacted you.

00:05:02.720 I know.

00:05:04.600 We're working on it, but essentially long story short, the servers that they were hosted

00:05:09.000 on were, were attacked.

00:05:11.100 There's some ransomware and stuff happening and, and authorities are involved with it to

00:05:15.760 like try to figure out who did this.

00:05:17.320 Thousands of websites have been impacted.

00:05:19.040 Um, so right now I can't even get access to my backups for the website, which if I could,

00:05:24.840 I would just build another website, restore the backups.

00:05:27.240 We'd be good to go, but I can't.

00:05:28.740 So we're working on that.

00:05:29.740 So that's crappy.

00:05:30.680 Uh, and then I get an email from my previous publisher for that book over your left shoulder.

00:05:36.260 And they said that they cannot pay me royalties for, from, I think if I remember, it's either

00:05:42.400 quarter one or quarter two through quarter two of this year.

00:05:45.820 So a year of royalties, I cannot be paid on, uh, on printed book sales, which are significant,

00:05:54.100 probably more in the last year than I've ever sold before.

00:05:59.960 Does it logically make sense to you?

00:06:02.140 Why not?

00:06:02.700 Like, are you, they're reasoning for that?

00:06:05.660 I understand what's happening.

00:06:08.020 I'm not happy about it.

00:06:09.800 I'm capable of understanding what's going on.

00:06:13.540 I don't, I'm not happy about it, of course, but also, you know, we've been kicked in the

00:06:19.620 dick a couple of times on some pretty big things over the past two weeks.

00:06:23.920 And I think five years ago, I would have blown a gasket.

00:06:26.700 And now I'm kind of like, you know, it's going to work out, especially with a book.

00:06:31.440 I'm after all this said and done, I will, I will own all the rights to that book.

00:06:35.620 A hundred percent of the rights to that book, which is awesome.

00:06:38.980 That's great.

00:06:40.420 I own all of it and the rights to it.

00:06:42.940 And I don't now I own, like there's a split there and a distribution model.

00:06:48.020 So I'm thinking to myself, as Jocko would say is good because now I can take that and

00:06:52.280 I can either publish it for myself exclusively, or I can go to my current publisher for my

00:06:56.820 next book and sell it, sell the rights to them, sell the rights to another publisher

00:07:01.160 organization.

00:07:01.940 So there's, there's some opportunities here, but the point I'm making guys is that, yeah,

00:07:06.100 you're going to get beat up.

00:07:07.020 You're going to get kicked.

00:07:07.780 You're going to get, you know, banged up.

00:07:09.640 And if you freak out about it, you're only going to make it worse.

00:07:13.540 If you roll with it and I'm not saying be passive, not being passive, but if you roll

00:07:17.920 with it in an assertive way, you're going to come out not unscathed, but more capable

00:07:24.080 of dealing with hardship down the road.

00:07:25.560 So yeah, we're dealing with a couple of things and it's all good guys.

00:07:28.840 Like we're going to get it figured out.

00:07:30.160 And in the meantime, I just appreciate all the support.

00:07:32.060 And also I realized, man, we actually did some things pretty good.

00:07:36.040 Like with the iron council and the store, they're not hooked up to my website by design.

00:07:41.320 And now I'm looking at it because I've talked to some people who everything's funneled through

00:07:45.480 their website.

00:07:46.300 And I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue turned off.

00:07:51.760 The faucet turned off overnight.

00:07:53.660 That hasn't been the case with us.

00:07:55.420 So I'm very, very fortunate that way.

00:07:57.980 Yeah.

00:07:58.140 And the store is still up and running.

00:08:00.100 Correct.

00:08:00.420 Store's still good.

00:08:01.380 Yeah.

00:08:01.600 So you can go to store.orderofman.com.

00:08:03.780 Even though the website's not up.

00:08:05.660 Yeah.

00:08:05.940 Store's still good.

00:08:07.440 The book is still being printed.

00:08:11.280 Iron council will still open up.

00:08:13.200 I'll need to change a few links here and there, but it's not like it went away.

00:08:16.400 Like we just need to change the links.

00:08:18.040 But other than that, we're solid, man.

00:08:20.520 We're sitting pretty good.

00:08:22.200 Copy.

00:08:22.960 Okay.

00:08:23.740 Well, we'll fill in questions from the IC to join us in the IC.

00:08:27.020 Connect with Ryan Mickler on Instagram.

00:08:28.980 So then that way you guys can get notified when that opens up.

00:08:32.180 We're going to open that up roughly around the 15th of June and that will be open for

00:08:36.860 two weeks.

00:08:37.780 So your window is coming up and you need to take advantage of it.

00:08:40.880 We're talking about this before we hit record, the importance of acting on opportunities that

00:08:46.960 present themselves, right?

00:08:48.340 And just executing when opportunities present, because if we wait for things to align to be

00:08:54.240 perfect, seldom will that ever be the case and opportunities will pass you by.

00:08:58.660 So don't pass by joining us in the iron council.

00:09:02.840 Yeah.

00:09:02.880 I've seen guys pass up a lot of great opportunities because they're not quote unquote ready and

00:09:07.560 you don't need to be ready.

00:09:08.640 You need to be willing.

00:09:09.920 So if your boss comes to you and says, Hey, would you like a promotion?

00:09:13.800 Like who in their right mind would say no, but you'd be surprised because in that and

00:09:18.940 other facets of life, guys are like, Oh, I'm not ready for that.

00:09:21.240 It's like, Oh my goodness.

00:09:22.300 Or a client comes to you and says, Hey, do you know, let's say you're a web development

00:09:26.100 company and they're like, Hey, do you know this specific kind of code?

00:09:29.180 The answer is not no.

00:09:31.720 Come on now.

00:09:32.900 The answer is, Oh yes, we can definitely do that for you.

00:09:36.560 And then you figure it out, right?

00:09:38.680 You hire somebody, you bring somebody on, you watch a bunch of videos, you get some

00:09:42.580 consulting and coaching, but you figure it out to provide the solutions.

00:09:46.620 But if you're like, no, sorry, we don't do that.

00:09:48.920 Like I had an accounting company that I'm trying to start working with for some taxes.

00:09:52.720 And I'm like, Hey, do you guys do payroll services?

00:09:54.320 They're like, no, we, we send them over there.

00:09:56.620 So I reached out to the other payroll services.

00:09:58.780 Guess what the other payroll services company does taxes. 0.89

00:10:01.940 Boom.

00:10:02.960 What an idiot.

00:10:04.560 What an idiot.

00:10:05.700 Like you can't bring on one or two people to manage payroll.

00:10:09.640 You're going to send me to somewhere else that does taxes. 0.76

00:10:11.920 Cool.

00:10:12.820 I'll do my taxes over there.

00:10:13.920 They do it all in house.

00:10:15.240 I mean, come on now, guys, like we can do better than this.

00:10:18.100 We should do better than this.

00:10:19.620 Well, and some of it's about service, right?

00:10:21.440 We, we ended up doing a large streaming service for like a very large credit, credit union.

00:10:27.980 And they, and to think through this, there's a lot of legality that comes with it when they

00:10:33.680 vote in board members.

00:10:35.100 And so if you're streaming the board meeting and all of a sudden the people can't vote,

00:10:40.400 you got a legal issue on your hands, right?

00:10:42.480 So, so this system cannot not work, right?

00:10:45.980 It can't fail.

00:10:46.940 It would be a disaster.

00:10:47.860 And programmatically, we addressed the ability for members to log in, to watch the live stream

00:10:55.100 and to vote on candidates all online.

00:10:57.660 But what don't we do?

00:11:00.100 Streaming.

00:11:00.760 I don't know streaming hardware and software.

00:11:04.040 That's not our expertise, but that was highly inconvenient for us to go throw our hands up

00:11:10.060 to the client and go, oh, well, you know, we could program everything else, but how you

00:11:14.400 stream.

00:11:15.620 That's on you.

00:11:16.320 Do that find someone else.

00:11:18.280 And so instead we're like, so I called up a buddy that does concerts or whatever and

00:11:23.060 said, Hey, who do you guys use for concerts?

00:11:25.240 I need a phone number.

00:11:26.380 Got that phone number.

00:11:27.260 Call that guy up and say, here's the scenario.

00:11:29.600 I need the right equipment, like the top of the line equipment.

00:11:34.000 What would you use?

00:11:34.800 And he's like, black magic, a 10, this is what you need.

00:11:38.400 You need a switch.

00:11:39.060 I ordered two of them, brought them to the office.

00:11:40.760 Within a week, here we are streaming, you know, on these switchboards, learning on how

00:11:46.540 to do this.

00:11:47.040 Why?

00:11:47.300 Because that's what the client needed.

00:11:48.780 So it wasn't just us like, oh, we want to make money.

00:11:51.580 No, we're trying to provide the best service possible.

00:11:54.220 And that includes us understanding maybe areas that we have gaps of understanding.

00:11:58.940 So that way we can simplify the process for a client.

00:12:02.660 But let's not dismiss making money either.

00:12:04.760 No, no.

00:12:05.460 But you know what I'm saying?

00:12:06.500 I'm not like smoking mirrors like, oh, we could do that.

00:12:09.020 And we're like, no, no, no.

00:12:10.200 I know what you're saying.

00:12:10.800 Let's do what's best.

00:12:11.800 Right.

00:12:12.340 And I, because I know you, I know what you're saying, but I also know that there's going

00:12:15.520 to be people listening to this and they're, and they're, they're kind of thinking the

00:12:18.840 same thing, but that's because people have a bad relationship with money.

00:12:22.480 And so like, well, we don't want to make money doing it.

00:12:24.700 Cause well, why, why, why don't they have to?

00:12:29.300 Yeah.

00:12:29.460 Now there's another cert.

00:12:30.800 Somebody's going to offer it.

00:12:31.960 It might as well be you.

00:12:32.800 You can like, if you believe in yourself enough, might as well be you.

00:12:36.000 And so, yeah, figure out the streaming platform.

00:12:39.180 And now you have one more service to offer and that could generate an additional six,

00:12:43.260 seven figures of revenue to the organization.

00:12:46.100 Just because you spent a little time going out of the way for a client that you actually

00:12:49.620 wanted to serve.

00:12:50.520 Check it out.

00:12:51.160 Speaking of ATEM, check this out.

00:12:52.920 You ready?

00:12:54.080 Blink.

00:12:55.080 Oh, snap. 0.99

00:12:56.400 Whoa, look at this.

00:12:57.080 Camera angle.

00:12:57.660 Camera one, camera two, camera one, camera two.

00:13:02.180 And I totally know what you're doing.

00:13:03.600 Look at me.

00:13:04.100 You do.

00:13:04.740 You do.

00:13:05.340 It's funny.

00:13:06.320 We're working.

00:13:06.920 We're working our magic over here as well.

00:13:09.480 All right, man.

00:13:10.340 What's a, I don't, have we even got to a question?

00:13:13.740 No, no, but we, we've provided excellent content nonetheless.

00:13:17.200 All right.

00:13:17.680 Let's get to a question.

00:13:18.780 John Preston.

00:13:20.160 I struggle with after AARs, after action reviews, especially when it comes to a monthly

00:13:25.260 assigned reading.

00:13:26.680 How do you perform AARs when reading a book?

00:13:31.040 Yeah.

00:13:31.420 I mean, this is one I get a lot about how do you, cause a lot of guys are like, I'm going

00:13:34.720 to read 50 books this year.

00:13:35.860 I'm like, whoa, tiger.

00:13:36.900 Like read 10, read five.

00:13:39.420 Like pick the five best books.

00:13:41.080 That's a little different in the iron council.

00:13:42.500 Cause there's a minimum of one book per month.

00:13:44.780 And even still, I would tell iron council guys, I'm like, Hey man, if that book doesn't

00:13:48.200 resonate with you or you're reading something else, don't read the book.

00:13:50.940 That's just an ancillary part of the process.

00:13:53.260 Still go through the monthly assignment, still have the discussions, but maybe the book is

00:13:57.180 something you forego because you're reading another book or you don't want to get overwhelmed.

00:14:00.880 Your head's down on something higher priority too, right?

00:14:03.160 Yeah.

00:14:03.440 Come on.

00:14:04.400 So be very careful on reading too much.

00:14:07.580 I used to be a consumption zombie.

00:14:09.840 And so I would just consume, consume, consume, consume, consume.

00:14:12.760 And then I realized, man, I'm inundated and overwhelmed with consumption that I'm never

00:14:18.120 able to step into the role of production.

00:14:20.440 So when you're reading a book, what I like to do is I will read a book and I never read

00:14:25.400 a book without having a highlighter and a pen near me.

00:14:29.960 And then what I do is the, as I read the book and I don't place false expectations.

00:14:33.900 Like I'm going to read 17 chapters at chapters tonight.

00:14:36.680 I'm like, I'm just going to read tonight for like a half an hour.

00:14:40.240 I'm just going to read.

00:14:41.440 And then I'll get my, my highlighter out.

00:14:43.740 I'll get my pen out.

00:14:44.700 And if I see something that really resonates with me, I do a little dog ear on that page

00:14:49.220 itself.

00:14:49.860 And then I highlight that sentence or that paragraph.

00:14:53.060 And if there's one little additional thought or note or question I have, I'll write in the

00:14:57.300 margin that question or that thought where I highlighted.

00:15:00.740 And so I'll do that throughout an entire book.

00:15:03.760 Now, some people are cringing because they're like, don't write in books.

00:15:06.220 I'm like, it's not like, Oh, I've heard that a lot.

00:15:09.300 Like, don't, don't write in books.

00:15:10.900 Don't dog ear. 0.93

00:15:11.640 And to me, I'm like, okay, we don't live in the 1400s.

00:15:14.940 It's not like some person needs to go and switch out all the little tiles to print a book anymore.

00:15:19.660 If I want a fresh copy of a book, I can jump on Amazon and I can wait 20 hours and I can have

00:15:25.800 that brand new book in my hands, but that's a book.

00:15:28.560 Like I'm going to write in it.

00:15:29.860 I'm going to highlight it.

00:15:30.700 I'm going to mark it up.

00:15:31.560 I'm going to tag it.

00:15:32.920 So I'll do that.

00:15:34.700 And then when I'm done with the book itself, I will actually go through and I'll read all

00:15:41.060 of the dog eared pages.

00:15:42.800 So when I'm quote unquote done with a book, I'm not actually done with it.

00:15:47.000 I go back and I read just the dog ears and then I figured out how I'm going to incorporate

00:15:52.620 one or two specific things into a daily practice into my life.

00:15:58.140 So if I read a self-development book on, let's say I read something by James Clear with atomic

00:16:03.360 habits, I'm going to think to myself, Oh, well, that's an interesting habit I hadn't considered

00:16:07.800 before.

00:16:08.140 So maybe what I'm going to do is every day for the next 90 days, I'm going to incorporate

00:16:13.620 this planning system into my morning or evening routine.

00:16:17.940 And then I do it for 90 days.

00:16:20.440 And at the end of the 90 days, then I determine, is this something that was beneficial and value

00:16:25.680 add for me?

00:16:26.840 Or is it something that was just work and it really didn't improve or enhance my life at

00:16:30.720 all?

00:16:31.100 If it added to my life, I'm going to keep doing it.

00:16:34.140 If it didn't add to my life or the juice wasn't worth the squeeze, I'm going to nix it

00:16:37.780 because in that time I've read other books that I can incorporate into my life as well.

00:16:41.680 So that's how I personally do the after action review.

00:16:44.520 It's not sitting down saying like, what did I learn?

00:16:46.980 What did I take away?

00:16:47.800 No, it's going back, looking at the highlights, looking at the tabs and the dog ears and the

00:16:52.380 notes, and then coming up with and formulating a strategy that I can implement for 90 days.

00:16:57.960 Got it.

00:16:59.120 All right.

00:16:59.620 Bobby, good old Bobby from the IC, who has influenced the two of you the most and do they

00:17:05.260 steal?

00:17:06.240 Hmm, man, lots of people.

00:17:07.680 Well, I mean, the one that comes to mind the most, actually the two people to come to mind

00:17:12.140 the most are women, my mother and my wife.

00:17:17.120 Those two people have influenced me, I think more than anybody else.

00:17:20.960 I made a comment on Instagram about the fact that men need to be raised by men. 0.99

00:17:25.740 They need to learn from other men.

00:17:27.080 They need to be around other men. 0.69

00:17:28.200 And I got a mixed reaction on that.

00:17:30.800 As with anything, everybody's so charged and polarized.

00:17:35.060 And none of that was meant to be a slight against women or even single mothers.

00:17:38.660 My mother raised me primarily and my sister on her own.

00:17:41.600 So it wasn't a slight towards her at all.

00:17:44.140 In fact, like I just said, one of the most influential people in my life, but still there

00:17:49.340 was something missing in that equation.

00:17:51.840 And she knew that it wasn't.

00:17:53.020 So she got me involved with other coaches and mentors, and she got me in scouts and football

00:17:57.240 and baseball, but even still, she was the most influential person in my life and still

00:18:03.220 very influential.

00:18:05.040 My wife, when I look at her and I see everything that she does, she's a homemaker and a stay 1.00

00:18:09.160 at home mom when she raises the kids and how she communicates and how she loves us and the

00:18:14.040 work that she does and how hardworking she is and how compassionate, empathetic.

00:18:18.020 There's a lot for me to be learned because I don't naturally gravitate towards those

00:18:21.800 characteristics.

00:18:23.140 So I learn and it rounds me out in a very meaningful way.

00:18:26.360 You know, now that said, there's a lot of other mentors that I have.

00:18:31.000 Pete Roberts is somebody who's very influential in my life.

00:18:35.380 Bedros Koulian, Ray Cash Care.

00:18:37.800 Both of those guys were here at my property this past weekend.

00:18:42.120 You know, the thing that I really thought highly of with Bedros is we invited him and his team

00:18:48.440 over for dinner, uh, the evening before the event.

00:18:53.240 And it was, it was him and his team, but two of the guys that came out were volunteer.

00:18:58.460 They had gone through one of his other programs before.

00:19:02.080 And as one of them came, he brought, he had gone to the store and he brought a pie and he

00:19:07.060 brought a pie for us.

00:19:08.200 The other one, uh, came and he got this little house plants, like a little, uh, little cactus

00:19:14.260 house plant.

00:19:14.940 And he got it and he gave it to my wife.

00:19:16.700 And then Bedros, when he came, he had a nice, really beautiful bouquet of flowers that he gave

00:19:21.520 to my wife.

00:19:22.120 And that to me spoke more highly of his financial success, his business acumen, his ability to

00:19:32.740 lead men.

00:19:33.360 And he has all of those things.

00:19:34.920 Trust me.

00:19:36.900 But that little moment to me, I was like, man.

00:19:40.000 And I told him that the next day I pulled him aside.

00:19:42.080 I'm like, Hey, I wanted to tell him what I'm telling you right now.

00:19:44.640 Like it spoke so highly of him and how he cares and how he shows up and how he presents

00:19:51.280 himself and how he makes sure people feel gratitude for what they give to him.

00:19:57.200 I, it was, it was just a really touching moment that really stood out to me.

00:20:00.380 So I have a lot of people, the most influential, my mother, my wife, but then there's a million,

00:20:05.580 I could talk about all these guys like Jocko and Pete and Bedros and Ray and you.

00:20:11.340 And I mean, everybody I get to talk with, I learned from everybody.

00:20:16.280 As you get older, Ryan, does that, does it seem like it gets spread out?

00:20:21.780 More and more for you.

00:20:23.860 Like, how do you feel like, I feel like if this question was posed to me,

00:20:28.580 even 10 years ago or 20 years ago, it would, the amount of people would be less and more

00:20:36.020 weight would be on a single person, right?

00:20:38.340 Where I'd be like, Oh, this individual influences me the most.

00:20:42.060 But as I get older, I get less influence from a single individual, but I get more influence

00:20:48.320 from more people.

00:20:49.140 And I think it's just through maturity that we realized that, you know, and I'm not saying

00:20:53.320 this about Bedros, but I'll use him as examples.

00:20:55.400 Like Bedros is amazing in these ways.

00:20:57.920 As you get older, you realize what are the ways by which he's more amazing than not,

00:21:02.900 you know, and I think we have a tendency to not put people on pedestals as we get older

00:21:07.960 and we kind of pick and choose how these people influence us versus having this naive opinion

00:21:14.820 that this one single person is amazing in all areas of their life.

00:21:18.900 Well, I think part of the reason is that we've been let down in life by so many different

00:21:23.900 people.

00:21:24.320 And a lot of the times, actually, every time you're let down, it's somebody that you held

00:21:28.960 to an expectation of standard every time, because if you didn't hold them to some objective

00:21:33.480 standard, or I should say subjective standard, then you wouldn't have been let down.

00:21:38.300 Yeah, totally.

00:21:39.320 So everybody that you've ever been let down in your life by is somebody that you've had

00:21:44.420 up here, and then they did or said something or didn't do something that pulled them down

00:21:51.120 off of that pedestal, like you said, to something lower than what you had thought of before.

00:21:56.880 So, and I think it is a maturity thing.

00:21:58.880 You said that.

00:21:59.820 As I've gotten older, because I've had so many people let me down and miss my, this is a better

00:22:09.060 way to say it, is miss their expectation that I had of them.

00:22:12.420 Like they didn't deliberately let me down, but they missed the mark, but that mark was

00:22:17.560 mine.

00:22:18.000 I'm the one who created that mark.

00:22:19.960 What I've done is I've gotten older is I've reduced my expectations and the standards of

00:22:25.320 other people and increased my own.

00:22:28.220 I've definitely increased my own expectation of my own performance, but reduce my expectation

00:22:32.280 of others, unless there's some sort of agreement.

00:22:34.560 Like Kip, if you say you're going to be here at 11 and you're not here at 11, okay, well, that's

00:22:38.780 an agreement we had.

00:22:39.680 I'm going to hold you to that.

00:22:40.640 Yeah.

00:22:41.140 And if you do it enough, I'm just not going to work with you anymore.

00:22:44.300 Yeah.

00:22:45.020 Right.

00:22:45.360 So, but for other people, it's like, I don't put a bunch of false expectations on people

00:22:50.680 and it's been liberating for me.

00:22:53.000 And that way, when somebody does something like Bedros brings flowers to my wife, I'm like,

00:22:57.400 oh, I didn't expect that.

00:22:59.380 And he exceeds the expectation.

00:23:01.520 And then I learned in that moment, oh, there's something to be learned there.

00:23:04.400 But there's even people who I don't like, uh, or people that I've had issue with in the

00:23:09.340 past where they do something.

00:23:10.420 And I'm like, because I have zero expectation of it.

00:23:13.000 I think to myself, man, that was actually pretty good.

00:23:15.440 And I can look at it objectively and extract because I do a lot of good stuff and I do a

00:23:21.720 lot of really horrible stuff personally.

00:23:23.820 And so I would expect that other people would say, okay, well, Ryan got that right.

00:23:29.340 He didn't get that right.

00:23:30.900 It's not that he's an evil person, but it's also not that he's a saint.

00:23:34.580 Yeah.

00:23:35.020 It's just that he's a human being and he's really good in these aspects.

00:23:38.560 And I'm going to glean information and pull that and pull this and what he does like that.

00:23:42.920 No, I don't want that.

00:23:44.500 And you believe that alone, but there's also good in everybody.

00:23:49.040 And I remember when I was really little, I think I've shared this story before.

00:23:52.580 I was at a, an elementary school assembly and there was this girl that got up and she 0.80

00:23:58.260 was doing a recital.

00:23:59.360 I can't remember.

00:24:00.260 It was a music recital.

00:24:02.460 Maybe it was piano or violin or something.

00:24:04.800 I can't really remember.

00:24:06.140 And, but I don't know why this even sticks out with me.

00:24:09.100 I remember thinking, man, she is really ugly. 1.00

00:24:13.300 Like as a kid, I was like, oh, she's ugly. 1.00

00:24:15.380 She's gross. 1.00

00:24:16.360 That's what I thought in my mind.

00:24:18.360 And then she started playing this beautiful musical piece.

00:24:22.580 And as a kid, I was like, oh my gosh, that is amazing.

00:24:27.200 And I felt maybe the reason I remember it is because I felt so horrible and guilty about

00:24:31.800 the way that I judged her about being ugly when actually she was like, it was beautiful

00:24:38.200 and her skillset and her talent and her discipline to be able to play that beautiful musical piece.

00:24:45.140 It just, it really stung me that I would judge a person like that and then be completely off the mark.

00:24:52.760 And I think we could do, I'll do a better job at that.

00:24:54.900 Like looking at somebody and saying, yeah, that, that was not good, but that was good.

00:25:00.000 And so I'm going to learn from that.

00:25:01.120 And I'm not going to learn from that.

00:25:02.480 Totally, totally.

00:25:03.940 One of the most influential things that my mom probably ever did with us kids when we're little,

00:25:09.740 there's a, there's a small Lake, a little North of central Utah called Palisade Lake Palisade.

00:25:16.440 And I wish I knew the guy's name, but this guy, he adopted like, like maybe a hundred of

00:25:27.440 mentally handicapped kids and, and he would reserve Palisade national park where this Lake

00:25:37.260 is.

00:25:37.680 And every year they had had like this massive reunion of all these mentally handicapped kids.

00:25:42.920 And my mom would sign us up to go up there every single year and help.

00:25:47.880 And I remember as a kid doing kind of what you did a little bit, like, oh, they're weird.

00:25:52.500 And, and they're, they're too in my face.

00:25:55.720 And, you know, like they don't know these social cues and what I just made me uncomfortable.

00:26:01.620 And, and then I, through that experience, I learned their innocence and how loving they were

00:26:08.420 and, and, and thoughtful and just, they're just children in big bodies.

00:26:13.700 You know what I mean?

00:26:14.860 And, um, it was such a, a breakthrough in judgment on anybody.

00:26:21.420 It really like broke down that, that natural judgment I'd put on people and, and really

00:26:27.320 accept people for who they were, regardless of the way they looked or acted.

00:26:30.520 You know, it was one of the, one of the better things that my mom ever did, uh, for us kids.

00:26:34.900 But yeah, it kind of reminded me of your judgmental moment with the girl playing piano.

00:26:39.220 I, I have some, I mean, my mother, she's always been so compassionate and caring.

00:26:43.760 And, uh, she was, she has her teaching certificate.

00:26:47.760 So a lot of people think I hate school teachers because of the way I talk.

00:26:51.440 My mom's she's an educator. 1.00

00:26:53.460 Well, she, she works in the hospital system, but she has her teaching certificate.

00:26:57.020 She worked in education for a lot of years, so I'm not, I'm not the evil, horrible bastard.

00:27:01.600 A lot of people think I am, but you're more evil for demonizing your mom at the same time.

00:27:07.400 No, I, I don't, I don't, I actually don't have issue with the majority,

00:27:10.900 the overwhelming amount of school teachers out there.

00:27:12.880 I take issue with the system.

00:27:14.200 I've never once came at any school teacher who's trying to do right by their children at all.

00:27:19.280 Regardless, she worked in special ed for a long time.

00:27:22.500 And she had this one young man, uh, who was, uh, he was autistic.

00:27:27.500 I believe he was autistic and it was really hard, man.

00:27:32.080 Like to, to, because the social cues are not there and it's weird and it's awkward.

00:27:36.640 And I did the same thing.

00:27:38.380 And then I realized, oh my gosh, just like my mom, she saw all this beauty and love and

00:27:42.640 intelligence and innocence and desire to serve and to be valuable in this young man.

00:27:48.020 It's really cool.

00:27:48.520 So there's actually a really good show.

00:27:50.360 My wife and I started watching on, uh, or what is it called?

00:27:54.160 It's called, um, love on the spectrum.

00:27:57.640 So every once in a while, I'm just like, you know, I'm exhausted.

00:28:00.880 I'm like, I don't want to read.

00:28:02.000 I don't, I want to, I want to watch a show.

00:28:04.440 And so we pulled up the show and I thought it was going to be like a, like a stupid,

00:28:08.300 like dating show.

00:28:10.660 You know what I'm saying?

00:28:11.560 Yeah.

00:28:11.840 So where I could just get lost, but we started watching the show and it's amazing.

00:28:16.320 Like, it's a really good show.

00:28:18.000 Actually it's, it's people on the spectrum trying to figure out and navigate dating.

00:28:25.620 Some of them have never dated before and they're trying to find a partner and there's highs

00:28:30.260 and there's lows and there's being rejected and there's going on second dates.

00:28:34.120 And it's like, you start to see with, with these people, like how special they actually

00:28:41.660 are.

00:28:41.980 It's really, really incredible.

00:28:43.580 So really spectrum as in autism, autism, yeah.

00:28:48.160 Mental or learning disorders.

00:28:49.920 That's the spectrum we're talking about.

00:28:51.560 Yeah.

00:28:51.760 Yeah.

00:28:52.180 Interesting.

00:28:52.520 Not like gender spectrum, but yeah, but autism, learning disorders, mental disorders.

00:28:58.920 You should do a show just like that of like, you know, people are on the spectrum of just

00:29:02.740 being assholes and how dating goes for them. 0.72

00:29:05.060 You know, the asshole spectrum.

00:29:06.780 I could, I could, I could thrive really well on that show.

00:29:09.160 You could be on that show.

00:29:09.680 I would win that show.

00:29:10.540 I wouldn't get any dates, but I would definitely win the show.

00:29:17.040 All right.

00:29:17.560 What else?

00:29:18.420 All right.

00:29:18.760 Brett Huber.

00:29:19.840 Thanks for what you guys are doing.

00:29:21.660 What are your thoughts about the podcast with Cam Haynes?

00:29:24.880 We talk a lot about our visions and our objectives and moving towards things daily.

00:29:29.700 Haynes is a beast.

00:29:30.660 No shade at him at all.

00:29:32.800 But at one point you said he honestly didn't know what was next or what he was going to do

00:29:37.100 next week.

00:29:37.800 Like I'm interested in your reaction to that.

00:29:40.320 Was he being humble, et cetera?

00:29:42.960 Yeah.

00:29:43.160 I think the way that you read it is a way a lot of people read it, but I actually read

00:29:47.760 it differently than the way that you're saying it.

00:29:50.500 And I'll explain.

00:29:52.240 I don't know what's going to happen next week either.

00:29:55.540 And neither do you Kip.

00:29:57.340 Yeah.

00:29:58.000 And neither was a Brett.

00:30:00.000 A Brett.

00:30:00.660 Yeah.

00:30:01.220 And neither does Brett.

00:30:02.200 Like now, if you have a race coming up, then I know, like I have a hunt coming up in two 0.66

00:30:07.200 weeks.

00:30:07.760 Okay.

00:30:08.120 I know in two weeks, I'm going to be hunting.

00:30:09.680 Like, I know that.

00:30:10.760 Yeah.

00:30:11.160 But for the most part, I don't know what life's going to deal me in any given moment.

00:30:15.240 I don't know.

00:30:16.440 And I think that's what Cam was saying.

00:30:18.480 It's more about living in the present and dealing with what life gives you.

00:30:23.280 Right.

00:30:23.740 Then trying to force, force your expectations on it.

00:30:27.940 Right.

00:30:28.260 Because Cam has goals.

00:30:30.160 Clearly he has objectives.

00:30:32.140 Like clearly he wants to be a great hunter.

00:30:34.600 Clearly he cares about his family.

00:30:37.080 We talked to in that interview about the Moab 240, a 240 mile race.

00:30:41.560 Clearly that was a goal of his and clearly he prepared for it.

00:30:45.040 Add some training for it.

00:30:46.120 Yeah.

00:30:46.280 Right.

00:30:46.720 So let, let, I don't think we should read it as he isn't aspirational.

00:30:51.120 He, he definitely is aspirational.

00:30:53.120 And then I, the way that I interpreted that was that he's aspirational and then he does

00:30:59.920 what he needs to do.

00:31:00.680 And he just lets the chips fall where they may.

00:31:03.040 So here's a great example.

00:31:04.440 In that interview, we talked about his partnership with origin, the friends of mine, partners of

00:31:09.120 us, like I trained jujitsu with them every week, good personal friends.

00:31:13.740 Well, Cam was presented with an opportunity to develop a brand new hunt line with origin.

00:31:21.260 Now, if you would have asked Cam about that a year or two ago, that probably wouldn't

00:31:25.960 have even been on his radar.

00:31:27.320 And I think that's what he's saying.

00:31:28.720 He's like, I don't know.

00:31:30.820 Like I could get, you know, here's an example with me is there's a possibility at some point

00:31:37.900 in the future that I could get involved politically.

00:31:40.920 And like, what kind of window is that going to open up for me?

00:31:44.680 Well, I don't know.

00:31:45.560 I just want to make sure the window's open.

00:31:47.380 If I decide to go through the window or the door.

00:31:49.320 And I think that's what Cam was saying.

00:31:51.300 He's like, he's going to work hard.

00:31:52.980 He's going to be diligent.

00:31:53.940 He's going to hold to his values.

00:31:55.680 He's going to be disciplined.

00:31:57.140 He's going to be aspirational towards the things that are important to him.

00:31:59.820 And then he's just going to let the chips fall where they may.

00:32:01.900 And as opportunities present themselves, then he'll be in the position to capitalize on

00:32:06.060 them.

00:32:06.820 So that's the way that I interpreted it just in meeting him.

00:32:10.360 And I've known Cam for four or five years now.

00:32:12.960 And that's what I gathered.

00:32:14.740 So maybe that gives some additional context.

00:32:16.360 Yeah, you're a good example of this, you know, over the years that, you know, we've had

00:32:21.540 many conversations and you have a tendency, you've used that same exact phrase that Haynes

00:32:28.280 used, right?

00:32:29.280 Of like, we'll just focus on the moment and see what next.

00:32:32.880 And, you know, because you would, you'd use an analogies of where's the order of man,

00:32:36.240 where's the iron council.

00:32:37.120 And, and what I really like about it is I think it addresses what most of us probably

00:32:44.140 struggle with.

00:32:44.900 And, and mom, I don't know.

00:32:47.060 I'm now even hesitant saying it, right?

00:32:48.820 It's like, I do think some of us don't focus on long-term strategy and goals, but when we

00:32:54.860 do, we have a tendency to just get so locked into the long-term strategy and goal that kind

00:32:59.960 of back to what we're talking about before we hit record is like opportunities present

00:33:03.940 themselves and it's not aligned with our strategy.

00:33:07.880 And we let them pass us by because we'll, this is not where I, I wanted to do it this

00:33:14.080 way.

00:33:14.320 And I wanted these things in place first before I executed.

00:33:17.180 And so now I'm going to pass up an opportunity because I'm quote unquote, you know, it's not

00:33:22.180 meeting the expectations that I had.

00:33:24.720 And, and I think we, I think a lot of us do that.

00:33:27.760 We don't, we don't live in the present enough to take advantage of the opportunities, but in

00:33:33.120 the same breath, I don't know, maybe that isn't the bigger issue.

00:33:36.000 Maybe the bigger issues guys aren't planning strategy well enough.

00:33:39.060 I don't know, but at least for me, you don't think it is.

00:33:42.260 Yeah.

00:33:42.500 I don't think it is.

00:33:43.400 I mean, vision's important.

00:33:44.540 We talk a lot about that in the iron council and it is crucial that you have a vision of

00:33:48.340 the way that you're going to show up and the way that you're going to perform.

00:33:51.200 I mean, of course you're never going to know what's happening in the future, but to have

00:33:54.880 some sort of vision about what kind of person you want to be when those opportunities

00:33:58.160 present themselves is crucial.

00:34:00.400 That's our vision planning.

00:34:01.620 It's not like, yeah, I mean, I want to have a million dollars or whatever.

00:34:05.120 It's like, okay, but like what kind of person are you going to need to be to have a million

00:34:08.920 dollars?

00:34:09.820 And so we hear that a lot.

00:34:11.320 Guys will say, well, you know, I want to be an ultra successful businessman.

00:34:15.060 Well, what time did you get out of bed today?

00:34:17.280 I don't know.

00:34:18.160 Nine o'clock.

00:34:18.840 Okay.

00:34:19.040 Well, what did you eat?

00:34:20.540 I don't know.

00:34:21.000 I didn't really eat very well.

00:34:22.080 And I got drunk the night before.

00:34:24.000 And okay.

00:34:24.800 Well, like what phone calls did you make this morning?

00:34:26.880 I was pretty tired.

00:34:28.140 It's Memorial day.

00:34:29.240 So I actually just took the day off and I really didn't call anybody or do anything.

00:34:33.500 It's like, okay, well, like stop worrying about the $10 million you want to make and

00:34:38.240 maybe just start focusing on those things.

00:34:41.020 So let me give you another example.

00:34:42.840 I had the opportunity in the past 60 or 90 days to invest in a company.

00:34:47.140 I can't, I got to be a little discreet here, but invest in a company.

00:34:50.620 And it was a sizable amount.

00:34:52.240 It was more than more money than I've ever invested in my entire life.

00:34:55.740 Uh, I didn't know that opportunity was going to present itself, but I positioned myself

00:35:01.660 for that opportunity if, and when it ever arrived and it may never have arrived.

00:35:06.420 It may never have come, but I wasn't any better off because I was doing the work.

00:35:10.600 And so I had enough money set aside for when that opportunity presented itself to be able

00:35:17.560 to write that check, which was really, really scary and say, here you go.

00:35:22.940 I believe in you and your company.

00:35:25.220 Good luck.

00:35:27.180 Okay.

00:35:27.660 But that opportunity, it, two things, it has to present itself and you have to be ready

00:35:36.580 for it.

00:35:38.040 Now, some people say, whether or not it presents itself is out of your hands.

00:35:41.080 That's not true either.

00:35:42.760 I put myself in situations to be able to capitalize and create opportunities that would never be

00:35:48.360 there otherwise.

00:35:48.900 So the opportunity, put yourself in the position for the opportunity and then make sure you're

00:35:54.500 in the position to actually capitalize on it.

00:35:58.680 And in this case, I was not in all cases, but in this case I was, and that's because I

00:36:02.980 just did good work and followed basic economic principles for what?

00:36:10.440 Two decades now.

00:36:12.040 Like, of course it's going to happen.

00:36:14.040 You know, and people are like, well, I just, you know, I want to make a million dollars.

00:36:16.840 I'm like, well, how much debt do you have?

00:36:18.080 How much money do you spend a day?

00:36:19.360 Do you even know how much debt you have?

00:36:20.700 How much are you paying in taxes?

00:36:22.580 How do you reduce your taxation?

00:36:24.280 How do you manage debt?

00:36:25.160 How do you pay it off?

00:36:26.120 How do you stay out of it?

00:36:27.280 Where are you investing?

00:36:28.320 Where are you liquid?

00:36:29.040 Where are you taking risk?

00:36:30.160 Where are you being safe?

00:36:31.500 And people can't even answer these questions.

00:36:33.320 And it's like, okay, do that.

00:36:36.180 And then know that in five or 10 or 15 or 20 years, all of a sudden you're going to look

00:36:40.280 back and say, damn, I can take advantage of this opportunity, right?

00:36:43.180 You wouldn't know it existed, but you created it because you put yourself in the right

00:36:46.820 position.

00:36:47.780 Or, and why do you even want to make a million?

00:36:50.680 Like, why?

00:36:52.020 Yeah.

00:36:52.280 Because a lot of people are like, oh, cause I want the ability to fly whenever I want.

00:36:55.920 Oh, so you need freedom and flexibility.

00:36:58.980 Right.

00:36:59.460 That may not be a million dollars.

00:37:00.720 Like you could probably pull that off.

00:37:02.900 Really quick.

00:37:03.540 Or it might be a lot more.

00:37:05.280 Yeah, true.

00:37:06.540 I mean, it's a, it's a prime example, you know, and I've had this, I I've had an opportunity

00:37:12.080 where, and Asia brings this up every so often to remind me.

00:37:16.100 But we, we came back from New York and I had a good friend of mine ping me and says, Hey,

00:37:20.580 I have this business idea.

00:37:21.740 I want you on board.

00:37:22.780 I can't see it working without you.

00:37:24.460 We would require sweat equity and you not working and you just living off your savings and just

00:37:31.840 heads down with me at least for six to 12 months.

00:37:35.620 And I was just like, yeah, I can't do it, man.

00:37:37.800 I'm not in a position to do it at the time.

00:37:40.240 Like that company that he proceeded forward with, without me is meta blew out, blew out

00:37:49.140 his expectations of how much we would make.

00:37:51.900 I mean, it was substantial, like substantial.

00:37:54.880 Right.

00:37:55.660 And, um, just wasn't in a position to take advantage of it.

00:38:00.060 Yeah.

00:38:00.440 You know?

00:38:00.800 And it's just like positioned yourself in the right place, but weren't quite ready.

00:38:04.520 Yeah.

00:38:05.140 Financially for that.

00:38:06.320 Yeah.

00:38:07.140 So, so, I mean, let that be a lesson.

00:38:10.520 Yeah.

00:38:11.140 Go ahead.

00:38:11.520 Sorry.

00:38:12.380 No, I'm just saying, let that be a lesson.

00:38:14.220 Like do what's right.

00:38:15.720 Just do what's right.

00:38:16.680 And everybody knows, I don't need to tell you what you should be doing.

00:38:21.280 Like, what's the number one thing you already know.

00:38:24.120 Yeah.

00:38:24.380 You know how to kill it today.

00:38:26.080 You know, get out of bed on time, eat correctly, make some phone calls, send some emails.

00:38:34.520 Don't waste time on social media.

00:38:36.520 Like you save some money, pay off debt.

00:38:39.240 Don't incur new debt.

00:38:40.260 You already know everything.

00:38:42.520 Just do that forever.

00:38:45.500 Forever.

00:38:46.300 That's it.

00:38:46.640 You got it.

00:38:47.140 That's, that's all you need is forever.

00:38:49.400 Just do it forever.

00:38:51.580 That's why when I see guys like Jocko, where he gets up at 4.30 AM, I don't get up at 4.30 AM.

00:38:58.020 Cause I don't want to get up at 4.30 AM.

00:38:59.820 I get up about 6, 6.30 AM every morning.

00:39:02.740 Okay.

00:39:03.220 Unless I'm going to train earlier than I would.

00:39:05.120 But for the most part, that's about where I'm at.

00:39:07.900 But the thing about what he's teaching is just do it.

00:39:12.900 Yeah.

00:39:13.900 Forever.

00:39:14.340 For no other reason than to do it.

00:39:16.520 Like what's Jocko working towards when he's doing deadlifts or pull-ups?

00:39:20.820 I don't know.

00:39:21.520 Nothing.

00:39:22.200 He's showing up.

00:39:23.160 He's just showing up and getting after it.

00:39:25.080 That's what he's doing.

00:39:26.120 Yeah.

00:39:26.280 What's Cam doing when he literally runs a marathon every morning before his nine to five job?

00:39:31.500 What is he preparing for?

00:39:33.280 Well, I want to be a good hunter.

00:39:35.040 Well, you're already a great hunter, brother.

00:39:37.280 Like what else?

00:39:38.500 He's like, that's it.

00:39:39.580 So what is he preparing for?

00:39:41.040 He's just doing it.

00:39:42.500 That's all he's doing.

00:39:44.840 Greg Ray.

00:39:46.120 I'm close to freeing up traveling as much as I do with my business.

00:39:50.080 Allow me more time at home.

00:39:51.560 I want to be more involved in my community where is a good place to start.

00:39:56.100 Our community is just over a hundred thousand.

00:39:58.760 Yeah.

00:39:58.900 A hundred thousand.

00:39:59.580 I mean, I would consider that.

00:40:01.100 I mean, it's not nearly as small as where I am, but I'd still consider a hundred thousand

00:40:05.580 people, a pretty smallish community where you can know a lot of people and there's a

00:40:10.360 lot of opportunities to get involved.

00:40:12.580 I would start with where kids are.

00:40:16.100 And Greg, I can't remember if you have, I think you have one or two, maybe at home still.

00:40:21.760 I can't, I should know that.

00:40:22.500 I'm sorry, man.

00:40:23.340 But you might have one or two still at home, but start there.

00:40:27.000 Right.

00:40:27.420 Cause we got to, we got to work in our spheres of influence where we have the most impact

00:40:31.220 because we don't, we only have so much time.

00:40:33.500 Our resources are finite.

00:40:34.920 So if you're going to exert yourself, you need to be able to put it where it has the

00:40:38.960 greatest impact.

00:40:39.820 And that's within the walls of your home.

00:40:41.860 And then from there, it starts to spread out to your friends, friends, and then your

00:40:47.340 community members and then the state and then governmental and then worldwide and global.

00:40:52.340 Right.

00:40:52.660 But you got to start with your energy being directed where it will have the single greatest

00:40:57.580 impact.

00:40:58.100 And that's within the walls of your home.

00:40:59.540 From there, what I would do, I would start at the community center and I would go

00:41:03.480 over there and I would say, Hey, here's what I'm good at.

00:41:06.220 And you're great, Greg, you're, you're a hunter.

00:41:09.020 And so do you think that maybe there's young men and young women in your community who would

00:41:14.120 like to take a hunter's course, who would like to learn how to, he's also great at a long range

00:41:20.860 rifle marksmanship.

00:41:22.120 Do you think that there's probably people in your community who would like to know that?

00:41:25.100 Do you think that maybe you could go down to the police force and say, Hey guys,

00:41:28.580 here's my training.

00:41:29.620 Here's my experience.

00:41:30.440 Here's my expertise.

00:41:31.560 Here's the schools I have access to.

00:41:33.740 Here's the people I have access to.

00:41:35.300 I would love to train your, your best shooters.

00:41:38.380 Maybe you want to have a marksmanship guy.

00:41:40.260 You want to have a sniper, uh, go to SWAT.

00:41:42.620 Hey, maybe they need some additional training and you need a resource.

00:41:44.860 Here's something I have.

00:41:45.720 Like start with where you are and what you have and what you have access to, and then

00:41:49.960 figure out how you can start to backfill that serving police officers.

00:41:54.260 Um, I, I have a heart for young men.

00:41:57.240 I really want to serve young men in the community.

00:42:00.180 That's very important to me.

00:42:01.880 And so we would do all sorts of things from, uh, jujitsu is a great thing.

00:42:06.640 Like I could call it Pete today and say, Hey man, like I've got five young men in the,

00:42:10.460 in the neighborhood.

00:42:12.000 Dads are kind of like mixed here and there.

00:42:14.340 Um, do you think I could just borrow your gym once or twice this month?

00:42:18.060 And I'm just going to teach these boys some basics.

00:42:20.860 He'd be like, yeah, of course, of course you can do that.

00:42:23.160 In fact, I'm doing it with the barn.

00:42:24.900 I'm putting mats in our barn, that third deck of the barn mats up there because I, that's

00:42:29.720 where I, that's where I'm good.

00:42:31.100 I have the tools and resource to do it.

00:42:33.260 I'm also really good at networking with other people.

00:42:35.880 So if I don't know how to do it, I've got an expert who I could call probably today.

00:42:39.720 If you were to say, Hey, who can you talk to about video editing that they could teach

00:42:44.080 a course after school?

00:42:45.260 Who could you talk to about teaching martial arts?

00:42:47.760 Who could you talk to about pistol or rifle marksmanship?

00:42:50.860 I have all of, I have access to all of that.

00:42:53.460 And all we have to do is open up what we have, look for creative ways, and then just ask and

00:42:58.760 look for where we can serve within our communities.

00:43:00.820 But they're there.

00:43:01.920 Police departments, firefighters, young men, young women, community center, plenty of coaching

00:43:08.220 opportunities.

00:43:08.780 If you go to your community center or even your high school, look, go to your high school.

00:43:13.500 Like football is going to be starting in the fall.

00:43:15.540 We're in summer break pretty much for the most part right now, but you find out who your

00:43:19.460 football coach is and go and just call them and say, Hey, you know, I would like to come

00:43:24.180 help you coach.

00:43:25.560 I don't really know much about football, but I can be a warm body out there and I can hope

00:43:29.420 help hold these young men accountable.

00:43:30.820 And that coach can be like, yeah, you're in a hundred percent.

00:43:33.880 You're in.

00:43:34.600 And you know, you're not going to be the offensive or defensive coordinator, but you can go hold

00:43:39.320 a bag for a kid.

00:43:41.380 I think you can do that.

00:43:42.600 So there's so many opportunities.

00:43:44.420 If you look for the resources and the skills that you have, and then find creative ways

00:43:49.680 to plug them in where you can.

00:43:52.640 I like it.

00:43:53.400 All right, Ron, Christopher, what is the most common and frequent temptation that causes

00:43:59.520 men to break integrity?

00:44:01.620 How best to get back on track?

00:44:05.540 I'm hesitant to say it's this one thing.

00:44:08.640 Yeah.

00:44:09.160 Do you think there's one thing that you would say?

00:44:11.200 I can't really think, I mean, it could be lust.

00:44:13.420 It could be alcohol addiction, gambling, cheating, whether that's on your spouse or just cheating

00:44:19.640 yourself and other people, lying, stealing.

00:44:22.940 Yeah.

00:44:23.420 I don't know if there's just one temptation.

00:44:26.180 Everybody's so different.

00:44:27.800 Yeah.

00:44:27.980 I have a thought.

00:44:28.920 I think it's just the temptation to be, well, it's the temptation of hiding.

00:44:37.860 Like all those, all the things that we're not proud of are things that, that we want

00:44:42.860 to hide, right.

00:44:44.280 That we, there, that there's an element of smoke and mirrors, you know, it's like for

00:44:47.780 me to justify doing something that I know is out of integrity and I need to hide it.

00:44:53.220 Right.

00:44:53.640 Cause I'm out of integrity and I have to justify it.

00:44:56.100 And so maybe that's the temptation, right.

00:45:00.980 To, to not be not showing up in life in a way that like, you can't just be yourself and,

00:45:07.260 and, and let people know who you are and that there's not this altered version that you keep

00:45:12.780 private because you're out of integrity and you would be shameful if people ever found

00:45:17.220 out.

00:45:18.080 That's really good.

00:45:19.560 Yeah.

00:45:20.100 I've got friends in my life.

00:45:21.780 One Sean Whalen, who, who always talks about it in the context of telling the truth.

00:45:25.280 And, and you have to tell the truth.

00:45:28.120 Like if you're looking at your waistline, it's a little bigger than you think.

00:45:30.700 We have to tell the truth about that.

00:45:32.340 Don't just suck your gut in, like tell the truth.

00:45:35.920 You're overweight.

00:45:37.420 You're not eating correctly.

00:45:39.060 Or if you're up to date, up to your eyeballs in debt, like tell the truth about it.

00:45:44.580 Stop lying to yourself about it.

00:45:46.020 Stop lying to yourself.

00:45:47.080 I think that's really good.

00:45:48.760 I think that's really good.

00:45:49.840 The second part of Ron's question was how do you, what do you do about it?

00:45:53.880 On track.

00:45:54.640 Yeah.

00:45:55.640 The best thing that you could do is figure out what your specific temptation is.

00:45:59.740 Maybe it's debt.

00:46:00.600 Maybe it's cheating.

00:46:01.320 Maybe it's lying, whatever mediocrity.

00:46:03.800 And then whatever it is, put systems in place to refrain from those behaviors.

00:46:10.200 So for example, if you're a raging alcoholic, probably not a good idea to have a bunch of

00:46:15.100 booze in the house.

00:46:16.680 Yeah.

00:46:17.580 Like it's just probably not.

00:46:18.660 If there's a liquor store near you or a convenience store where you usually go pick up a six-pack

00:46:25.300 or a 12-pack or a 24-pack, probably just say, I'm not going to that store anymore.

00:46:30.580 Well, Ryan, I have to get gas.

00:46:32.260 Okay.

00:46:32.480 Make a contract.

00:46:33.440 Go get gas across town.

00:46:35.700 Like for whatever reason, that's the problem.

00:46:40.000 So remove that problem from your life.

00:46:43.240 If it's women, I have some people I know personally who have a hard time with womanizing. 1.00

00:46:49.360 And so guys, don't put yourself in that situation.

00:46:55.280 I had a young woman reach out to me years and years ago, and she was a friend in a business

00:47:01.640 setting.

00:47:02.420 We were friendly that way.

00:47:04.020 And she wanted to learn more about order of man and what we were doing because she wanted

00:47:09.880 to start something similar.

00:47:12.140 And I think that she had, if I remember, this was years and years ago, she had asked if she

00:47:16.880 could come over to the house and talk with me about all of this stuff.

00:47:21.400 And I said, no, you definitely cannot do that because, and it, you know, guys will say, well,

00:47:28.780 then you're weak or then there must be an issue.

00:47:32.160 There might be, and I am weak, a hundred percent.

00:47:36.360 I'm weak.

00:47:37.020 Yeah.

00:47:37.520 And so there may not, it may have not been a big deal at all.

00:47:42.160 You know, my wife happened to be out of town.

00:47:44.480 I think if I remember correctly that week and I'm like, nope, I'm not, I'm not doing

00:47:48.860 that.

00:47:49.280 I don't go out with, with women, even business colleagues and professionals. 1.00

00:47:53.560 I don't, I don't do that because I'm not going to put myself in that situation.

00:47:59.080 I'm not tempted by that personally, but why am I going to flirt with the devil?

00:48:04.080 What, what, what, what, what positive benefit would come from putting myself in compromising

00:48:10.500 situations?

00:48:11.840 So put up your barriers, put up your boundaries, figure out where your temptations are, put

00:48:17.680 processes and systems in place, have people that you're accountable to.

00:48:22.060 Maybe that's your wife. 1.00

00:48:23.260 Maybe that's a friend.

00:48:24.500 If, if you're tempted at all, you better have a nine one one number.

00:48:28.540 So like Kip, for example, if I'm, um, you know, if I love to get drunk and just go gamble

00:48:35.160 or something, I, I feel like I could probably, if I was in a bad way, call you up and be like,

00:48:39.980 Kip, I'm really tempted, man.

00:48:41.820 Like, can I come over and like, can we, whatever, like watch the fights or can we go train or

00:48:49.040 can, can we just have a barbecue tonight?

00:48:51.780 And you would be all over that a hundred percent.

00:48:53.840 That's a system that you can, that's a little nine one one numbers like, oh shit.

00:48:58.460 Call Kip.

00:48:59.300 Yep.

00:49:00.160 This is why AA works actually is you have those accountabilities like call Kip.

00:49:04.920 I'm in trouble and they, they will help you.

00:49:07.720 And if you don't have anybody like that in your corner, you better have somebody like

00:49:10.480 that in your corner.

00:49:11.240 Yeah.

00:49:11.600 And, and I would argue that most guys probably have someone in their corner.

00:49:16.120 They just don't think they have someone like that in their corner or, or they're,

00:49:22.340 they're afraid to call to make the call because I think highly of you Kip and I want, and I

00:49:28.920 actually, I want you to think highly of me.

00:49:31.020 I see.

00:49:31.740 Yeah.

00:49:32.040 And so if I, if I'm more concerned about what I might think, then.

00:49:35.400 Yeah.

00:49:35.800 Right.

00:49:36.540 Because I want to maintain that facade that comes back to what you said about lying.

00:49:40.180 So I want to maintain that facade.

00:49:41.700 So I'm like, man, Kip could really help me, but I can't call him because if I do, he's

00:49:45.620 going to think less of me.

00:49:47.220 Okay.

00:49:47.580 Well then that's not a good as relationship as you thought it was, or you're not as good as a,

00:49:52.220 of a partner in this context as you should be.

00:49:55.100 Yeah, for sure.

00:49:56.300 For sure.

00:49:56.600 And also you should be holding people accountable.

00:49:59.140 Right.

00:49:59.580 So like if, if Kip, I see you doing something, you've never told me this directly, but if

00:50:04.420 I see you doing something that I don't think is in your best interest, I'm going to tell

00:50:08.880 you.

00:50:09.720 Yeah.

00:50:10.620 Or at least I'm going to bring it up.

00:50:12.180 I would be like, Hey Kip, like you really seem like you've been off for a week.

00:50:17.400 Like I got to ask what's going on.

00:50:19.200 Like, I'm genuinely interested.

00:50:20.360 What's going on?

00:50:20.920 Like, what do I need to do to help you?

00:50:22.240 And you should do that.

00:50:23.320 If you're a friend of somebody, you should absolutely do that.

00:50:27.160 Yeah, for sure.

00:50:29.600 I think some guys might be in a position, Ryan, where they know they should stop doing

00:50:36.380 something.

00:50:37.300 Let's just use the alcohol as an example.

00:50:41.120 They, they know it's not an ideal thing.

00:50:43.180 They should probably quit, but, but it's loose.

00:50:48.220 Like it's not strong enough to know, like they haven't come to the point, like this is

00:50:52.900 a problem, but they're out of integrity for doing it anyway, because there's this little

00:50:57.720 bit of, I know I shouldn't kind of thing.

00:50:59.980 How do you get to the point from your perspective of like, Hey, I got to stop.

00:51:04.440 How do I get to the point of getting the clarity needed to know that like, I need to take a step

00:51:11.140 here and I need to make some major adjustments.

00:51:13.940 I don't know, man.

00:51:16.120 I really don't.

00:51:17.000 It's, I think it's the little innocuous things that are the hardest.

00:51:22.540 The ones that are easily justified and they're just part of our day to day.

00:51:26.840 It's because it just doesn't seem wrong, you know, or you haven't made it wrong.

00:51:31.380 And you're like, Oh, you know, one drink won't hurt.

00:51:33.980 Now, some of you guys might, that might be your issue.

00:51:36.220 And then it's like, yeah, but I would never step out on my wife.

00:51:39.300 Yeah.

00:51:39.500 Because it's more, it's, it's bigger to you.

00:51:42.700 Yeah.

00:51:43.480 Right.

00:51:43.760 So it's, of course, you're not going to do that.

00:51:45.800 I would never, you know, commit, I would never commit this crime.

00:51:49.480 Right.

00:51:49.920 Because that's part of your value system.

00:51:52.140 And you really, like, that's easy.

00:51:54.220 Totally.

00:51:54.740 It's the little stuff.

00:51:56.100 That's the, it's like the flirting with, you know, the cashier at the convenience store.

00:52:00.360 You're like, what's the problem?

00:52:02.160 Well, there's no problem.

00:52:03.140 I'm just flirting with her.

00:52:04.820 Yeah.

00:52:05.220 It's that, it's that one drink.

00:52:06.960 It's that one pull of lever.

00:52:08.480 If you're gambling, it's the, it's the one time you, you know, forge somebody's signature

00:52:13.520 on a document.

00:52:14.400 It's like the one little, it's like, no, I'm doing what's in their best interest.

00:52:17.280 It's compromising.

00:52:19.060 It's con and it's just chipping away.

00:52:20.800 Just gradually just chip, chip, chip, chip.

00:52:22.840 And before you know it, you do something that's catastrophic.

00:52:25.920 So to your point, your question, what can you do?

00:52:29.420 Maybe realize the severity of it.

00:52:32.540 Maybe make it more severe than you think and really hold that to a high standard.

00:52:36.600 It's like, no, I'm not going to have one.

00:52:38.700 I don't have any drinks.

00:52:40.100 Like, that's just my standard.

00:52:41.560 Right.

00:52:42.100 And so that's what you do.

00:52:44.400 I don't know.

00:52:45.140 I wish I could tell you because there's things I struggle and attempted by and it's, it's

00:52:49.980 hard, man.

00:52:50.620 It really is.

00:52:51.400 I wish I had a better answer than that.

00:52:53.400 When I, when my teenage boys used to mess up, I used usually like pull out the whiteboard

00:53:01.060 and I'd draw this, you know, this projection, you know, it's like the probable future projection.

00:53:06.980 It's like, okay, well at this age, if you make these decisions, what's, what's the next

00:53:12.260 probable decision you'll make that's aligned that same path.

00:53:17.060 Will you justify this maybe just a little bit incrementally worse than the decision you

00:53:22.640 just made?

00:53:23.240 And what's the next increment beyond that?

00:53:26.460 And, and ultimately the conversation of, you know, what's the probable future if you

00:53:30.060 don't change.

00:53:30.820 And I do think that's valuable, especially for, you know, it's easier conversation to

00:53:36.700 be had when we talk about fitness, right?

00:53:38.700 It's like, okay, what's the probable future that you don't start eating healthy?

00:53:43.140 Well, that's easy to calculate.

00:53:45.320 The probable future is, is that, uh, you're going to end up 50 pounds overweight.

00:53:50.300 And then the, and then the second question is, is what's the impact of that?

00:53:54.200 And I think that's where we sometimes get a little loose where we might go, well, the

00:53:58.680 impact is, you know, uh, I'll be fat and, uh, not be able to run.

00:54:04.180 And I, a bad self-image of myself and maybe I, you know, my sex life decreases, but it's

00:54:11.420 been decreasing anyway.

00:54:12.240 So it's not, I don't think, I actually don't think, I think what they say is, no, they

00:54:16.700 don't even, I don't go there.

00:54:18.660 Oh, see, do you like, those are my soft ones, right?

00:54:23.020 Well, I was going to eventually end up with the probable future.

00:54:26.400 The impact is the fact that your kids start eating unhealthy as well.

00:54:29.680 And they start getting bullied at school.

00:54:31.580 They're not proud of their bodies.

00:54:33.160 That's the, I mean, there's the big impact that usually drives people to cause behavior,

00:54:38.460 but I don't disagree with what you're saying.

00:54:40.740 I a hundred percent agree that your decisions today are going to lead to legacy type decisions

00:54:46.500 and impacts a hundred percent.

00:54:48.800 I don't think people, when they go have a donut at Duncan on Saturday that they're like, well,

00:54:54.560 you know, if I eat this, then my kids are going to get bullied and they might end up killing

00:54:58.380 themselves.

00:54:58.900 That's, that's the problem is that we don't do what you're saying is like, we're like,

00:55:05.620 it's just a donut.

00:55:07.660 Relax.

00:55:08.600 It's one donut.

00:55:10.380 Well, if you're anything like me, I don't eat one donut.

00:55:13.160 I eat all the donuts.

00:55:17.000 Okay.

00:55:17.540 It's, it's the same with drinking.

00:55:19.180 Like, it's like, if you want to put a drink in my face, like I, if I have one, I'll have

00:55:24.580 all the drinks on the table everywhere.

00:55:26.360 I'll have all of it because that's my personality.

00:55:29.240 So like, I just, I don't want to do that because I know where it goes.

00:55:34.220 I know where it leads, but I think a lot of us don't think about the direction, the

00:55:38.760 trajectory, the inevitable outcome of that.

00:55:40.840 Cause we just think it's just a donut.

00:55:42.860 Big deal.

00:55:43.800 Loosen up, enjoy life.

00:55:45.720 You should enjoy life.

00:55:47.080 We're going to die.

00:55:47.920 Like you should just enjoy it while we're here.

00:55:50.180 You drink to be merry.

00:55:51.500 Yeah.

00:55:52.000 Which goes back to what you're saying, you know, in the example of Jocko, like what does

00:55:55.800 Jocko do what Jocko does?

00:55:57.400 Cause that's who he is.

00:55:59.320 And, and, and when you have that perspective of being, then it's not just a donut.

00:56:05.760 Yeah.

00:56:06.160 It's actually a reflection of your character and how you acted today.

00:56:11.180 And did you show up in a very powerful way?

00:56:13.560 It's more about that than it is anything else.

00:56:15.880 You know, what is interesting about a lot of these guys, and I've been so fortunate to

00:56:19.300 be able to talk with some high achieving men, Jocko being one of them.

00:56:22.000 Um, the other two that come to mind campaign, since we talked about him earlier, and another

00:56:25.840 one is Tim Kennedy.

00:56:26.840 I'll know this.

00:56:28.880 Andy for Silla would probably echo a similar statement.

00:56:31.340 Know this.

00:56:32.180 All four of those gentlemen know how weak they are.

00:56:36.420 I, you need to know that because you're looking at him.

00:56:39.320 You're like, oh, he's so disciplined.

00:56:42.040 Yeah.

00:56:42.980 The discipline isn't like, it isn't a state of being.

00:56:46.100 It's an, it's a, it's an activity.

00:56:47.800 It's a, it's a habit in spite of the weakness.

00:56:52.260 Yeah.

00:56:52.660 Yes.

00:56:53.060 All of those guys know their weaknesses and limitations.

00:56:57.540 Tim Kennedy, the other day I sat down with him at podcasts is coming out.

00:57:01.520 I think, uh, next week.

00:57:03.960 And he, he said to me, he's like, man, I, cause I was asking about how active he is.

00:57:08.640 He's like, I have to, cause if I don't, I'll do something really, really horrible.

00:57:12.340 Cause he knows, like he just knows.

00:57:17.220 So he's like, I gotta be active.

00:57:18.880 I gotta have the schedule.

00:57:19.820 I gotta be disciplined.

00:57:20.800 I gotta have this process in place.

00:57:22.620 All four of those guys and countless, countless others have told me how weak they are.

00:57:27.940 And because they know what they do when they don't have these systems in place, they put

00:57:32.720 the systems in place and everybody's like, well, you're weak.

00:57:35.540 If you need a system, some of the, the, what you would consider are the strongest men on

00:57:40.680 the planet, David Goggins is another one.

00:57:43.840 David's full aware, fully aware of how horrible it could get if he didn't go run and bust his

00:57:51.420 ass every single day, the way he does. 0.85

00:57:53.160 That's why he does it.

00:57:55.260 Listen to him.

00:57:56.040 That's why he does it.

00:57:58.180 Jordan Peterson.

00:57:59.100 That's another one.

00:58:00.180 I mean, Jordan had some real health issues years ago, uh, maybe a year or so ago.

00:58:04.640 And like with his personality and the way that he gets in his head and starts thinking

00:58:10.120 about, I don't know him personally, but the way that he starts thinking about things,

00:58:13.540 I can only imagine what depression and anxiety spiral like for an individual like that.

00:58:20.380 And so he's got to take this mind, which is his mind, which is so powerful and directed

00:58:27.000 at something beneficial.

00:58:28.240 Cause if he doesn't, he's going to get himself killed.

00:58:33.180 Our, our, our strength is our, our weakness and vice versa.

00:58:36.900 Uh, Jacob Benda, a forge guy, by the way.

00:58:41.220 Nice.

00:58:41.680 So if you don't know what the forge is, the forge is brand new members of the iron council.

00:58:45.700 They're in the forge for 30 days as they get on board and ramped up to become a full-fledged

00:58:49.960 member of the iron council.

00:58:51.120 Yeah.

00:58:51.440 So glad you joined us, Jacob.

00:58:53.640 He gives us a quote.

00:58:54.960 Our wives don't start arguments. 1.00

00:58:57.120 They are sharing their hearts by red Bradley.

00:59:00.140 If we met, if we, as men can have the mindset when communicating with our wives, not to get

00:59:06.200 defensive, but to listen, understand that she is sharing her fears and concerns in your

00:59:11.480 own experience, thinking back, if you were told this before you got married would have

00:59:15.820 helped those first one to five years of marriage.

00:59:20.060 I mean, it's a cute quote.

00:59:21.440 I don't know if it's totally true.

00:59:24.100 Um, cause sometimes they're not so innocent.

00:59:29.400 Let me, let me change.

00:59:30.720 I'm just going to change the phrasing.

00:59:32.160 Let's just say you for a man, instead of talking about our wives, because I don't want 1.00

00:59:35.880 to talk about my wife negatively here.

00:59:37.260 So I'll talk about myself negatively.

00:59:39.020 If you said, well, men don't start arguments.

00:59:41.800 They share their hearts.

00:59:42.680 I'd be like, no, sometimes I just want to watch the freaking world burn.

00:59:46.540 Yeah.

00:59:46.940 I want to argue.

00:59:47.900 Yeah.

00:59:48.220 So I don't know if it's the same for women, but I've had plenty of knock down, drag out 1.00

00:59:54.200 fights with my wife about who knows what, and I'm not sure it's her sharing her heart

00:59:58.940 or her just, you know, being pissed or what.

01:00:01.320 And maybe it's semantics.

01:00:02.440 Maybe she's pissed because in her heart, she sees a different, I don't know.

01:00:06.020 I'm just saying like, let's not paint it all as a rosy, fluffy fairy tale.

01:00:11.180 Like, but here's one thing I would say is whether it's from her heart or whether she just wants

01:00:17.040 to watch things burn to the ground.

01:00:18.720 Cause she's PMSing or she's pissed off about something.

01:00:22.460 Maybe there's some space, some margin in there to back up and try to understand.

01:00:28.260 And I would agree with the rest of your sentiment in this, in this, that if I would have learned

01:00:33.420 that in the first one to five years of just back off.

01:00:36.760 Seek to understand.

01:00:37.680 Yeah.

01:00:37.920 Just what's, what's going on.

01:00:39.400 Okay.

01:00:39.600 She's PMSing.

01:00:40.520 Okay.

01:00:40.700 She's mad about this thing.

01:00:42.000 Okay.

01:00:42.560 She had something happen with the kids and now she's venting on me.

01:00:45.740 Okay.

01:00:46.540 All right.

01:00:47.580 Just back up, figure it out to the, to his point.

01:00:50.960 And yeah, it would have went a whole lot better.

01:00:53.960 A hundred percent.

01:00:55.980 Yeah.

01:00:56.620 I have always, whenever we have like young couples get married and we end up going to a

01:01:02.300 wedding and I'm signing a card, I usually always write something similar to this.

01:01:07.360 And it's, this will be the hardest thing you'll ever do in your entire life.

01:01:13.780 And then I put, and then I go, and that's okay.

01:01:17.380 So buckle up and enjoy the ride and don't make it wrong that it's hard.

01:01:21.940 And don't get me wrong.

01:01:23.020 Like, should we have ideal marriages?

01:01:25.020 And she wouldn't argue for sure.

01:01:26.440 But the best advice I ever got, because by the way, I didn't have this.

01:01:30.000 I remember the first time I got in a fight with my wife, I thought, uh, should we get

01:01:35.660 a divorce?

01:01:36.060 Like, is this normal?

01:01:36.940 Like something's wrong.

01:01:38.360 And I remember calling up my brother saying, she's crazy.

01:01:42.160 This lady's crazy. 1.00

01:01:43.840 This is a disaster, blah, blah, blah.

01:01:45.700 And he's, and he just starts laughing at me.

01:01:47.840 He just starts laughing.

01:01:49.460 He's like, dude, welcome to marriage, man.

01:01:51.620 Yeah.

01:01:52.040 It's super tough.

01:01:53.320 Good luck.

01:01:54.500 And that was it.

01:01:55.620 I was like, you know what?

01:01:57.120 Okay.

01:01:57.660 Got it.

01:01:58.560 Like, don't exit just because it's getting tough.

01:02:01.540 It's going to be hard.

01:02:02.760 Yeah.

01:02:02.880 That's the best advice ever.

01:02:04.200 I think.

01:02:04.500 I always think it's, I think it's funny when actually I think it's funny, but I also think

01:02:08.940 they're full of shit.

01:02:09.700 When people like, I never argue with my wife, I either think stonewalling her then.

01:02:15.240 I mean, at the risk of being morbid, maybe it's because, you know, you're lost your wife

01:02:20.200 five years ago in an accident or something.

01:02:22.120 And that's why you don't argue with her anymore.

01:02:23.720 Cause outside of that, there's no escaping it.

01:02:27.300 I guess at least in my perspective, I don't know.

01:02:29.680 Um, but, uh, yeah, like it's part of the deal.

01:02:35.240 If somebody said they're not arguing with their wife, I'd be like, okay, well, one of 0.91

01:02:38.820 you isn't human then because, or you don't have a strong relationship and you're not engaging

01:02:43.680 or something else is going on or you're, or you're a wimp.

01:02:46.460 That's another one.

01:02:47.620 Yeah.

01:02:48.380 There's a lot of times, like sometimes women will do what both women and men will do this 1.00

01:02:52.420 is they're so passive.

01:02:54.680 They allow themselves to be abused, like emotionally, verbally, mentally abused because they're so

01:03:03.040 afraid of conflict that whenever somebody says something contrary to what they want or

01:03:09.060 what they believe, they're like, okay, hon, whatever that, yes, we can do that.

01:03:12.500 It's like, well, you didn't want to do that.

01:03:13.700 I know, but you know, it's, she wants to do this.

01:03:16.700 I'm like, okay, well, but you don't need to do all those things just because she wants,

01:03:20.960 you can share your own perspectives and your own thought.

01:03:23.220 And you know what?

01:03:23.860 She would actually probably like that.

01:03:26.160 If you stepped up to the plate every now and again, like my wife and I will, she's very

01:03:30.820 stubborn as am I.

01:03:32.340 And so she likes to be stubborn and so do I, but I like that.

01:03:37.240 I like it.

01:03:38.300 I like that.

01:03:39.220 She's not going to roll over and be a wimp. 1.00

01:03:41.800 I think that once all the dust is settled, she likes that of me, that I am convinced.

01:03:46.700 That I do believe what I believe that I am willing to stand up for myself.

01:03:50.100 And I like that.

01:03:50.800 She's willing to stand up for herself and don't get me wrong.

01:03:53.540 I do say, I'm sorry.

01:03:55.220 Cause I mess up a lot.

01:03:56.940 And I say, I'm, I go to her and I said, Hey, and here's how I apologize.

01:04:01.500 Hey hon, we had this argument and I was thinking about it more.

01:04:06.740 And I still believe these few things, but some of the things that you shared were right.

01:04:11.280 And I felt like I probably took out some of my frustrations from the day on you.

01:04:15.940 And I'm genuinely sorry about that.

01:04:17.800 I should not have done that.

01:04:19.720 I should have talked with you in a different way.

01:04:21.600 So I'm very specific when I apologize and I'm very genuine about what I am sorry about.

01:04:25.960 So yeah, that's good.

01:04:28.880 Yeah.

01:04:29.500 Usually Asia and I, it's usually, uh, you are a complete bitch. 1.00

01:04:34.740 And she goes, I told you I was one before we got married.

01:04:37.400 And then that's it.

01:04:39.160 It's like, you still sign.

01:04:40.960 She was straight up with you.

01:04:42.620 She was.

01:04:43.420 And she actually did say that to me.

01:04:44.940 She's like, just so you know.

01:04:46.260 And I'm like, okay, I still love you and whatever.

01:04:48.640 And then the first time we got to fight, she's like, I told you.

01:04:50.860 And I'm like, oh man.

01:04:51.860 You're like, okay, so whenever you want, it's like, so what you're allowed to be that way

01:04:57.540 now?

01:04:57.780 Because you told me, come on now, if you want me to call her up and, and talk with her too

01:05:03.860 bad, I'm not doing it.

01:05:04.920 I was going to say, good luck.

01:05:08.800 All right.

01:05:09.300 We got one more question from the IC.

01:05:11.200 So Chris, uh, Silvestri, my friend wants to know, he says, what's a good testosterone booster

01:05:17.720 to keep the libido going? 0.99

01:05:19.280 I'm not sure if he's joking or if he's serious questions, do you even have any resource?

01:05:24.160 Do you know?

01:05:25.040 I mean, there's, there's replacement therapy.

01:05:27.660 There's other, there's other, I actually, so there's like vitamins and things and supplements

01:05:32.680 there.

01:05:33.080 I would say vitamins are probably good because that's a nutritional thing.

01:05:36.880 So the low hanging fruit before you get to like replacement therapy, and I'm not saying

01:05:40.900 you should not do that, but, uh, losing weight will definitely help.

01:05:45.080 Not only will you have more energy, you'll feel better about yourself.

01:05:48.840 So you'll build confidence and you'll look better naked.

01:05:50.960 So she'll be more attracted to you.

01:05:52.840 So losing weight, um, eating correctly, exercising and getting the right amount of sleep.

01:06:01.500 Sleep is something a lot, probably way too many men overlook getting enough water, ditching 0.99

01:06:08.220 the booze, uh, eating meat protein is very important.

01:06:12.980 And then one that a lot of guys overlook is doing what I, what I would just say, doing

01:06:18.080 manly things, spending time a with other men competing with them and winning.

01:06:23.260 There has been studies that have shown that when you compete with another man and you win

01:06:29.380 your testosterone levels spike, when you compete with another man and you lose, they actually

01:06:34.380 decline just based on competition.

01:06:37.960 So get better and beat other men at things and your testosterone will boost.

01:06:43.560 Uh, and then I would also encourage all of those things in her because if she's losing weight and 1.00

01:06:49.440 she's getting sleep and she's not, I think stress is probably a bigger issue for her.

01:06:53.740 It's also issue for us cortisol levels, but if she's getting all those things, she's going

01:06:58.440 to have the energy.

01:06:59.040 She's also going to look more attractive to you. 0.95

01:07:01.940 Also ditch the porn, stop beating off.

01:07:04.580 That's going to help a lot of different things that you can do that are going to, are going

01:07:08.860 to help boost the libido for you.

01:07:10.440 And we all know what they are.

01:07:11.400 We all know what they are.

01:07:12.460 And there's a lot of diet stuff that you can look into.

01:07:14.960 I mean, a lot of frozen foods, for instance, have tons of estrogen in them.

01:07:19.040 So it's like, look at what kind of food you're eating that may not necessarily give you

01:07:23.820 testosterone, but might be affecting your testosterone in a negative way.

01:07:28.280 So I'm not, I'm not an expert on this, but I have, I've read a lot about it and studied

01:07:33.420 up on it.

01:07:33.920 So we have, um, these, these, again, some of you guys are going to roll your eyes when

01:07:38.920 I say this, cause I'm not using the correct terminology, but I think you'll get the point.

01:07:41.980 We have endocrine disruptors.

01:07:43.580 So we have the endocrine system within our bodies and the disruptors, um, are what inhibit

01:07:48.860 the testosterone from binding with the molecules of our bodies.

01:07:53.360 You need that.

01:07:54.220 You need testosterone to bind. 0.94

01:07:55.860 And if you have an endocrine disruptor, then the testosterone that your body's producing

01:08:01.640 or being introduced to your body will not bind correctly.

01:08:04.620 And therefore it won't be absorbed into the system and then does what it does.

01:08:08.240 But if you look at the, like you said, the foods that we eat, the products that we use,

01:08:14.180 you look at a soap, for example, uh, or like hair gel and hairspray and, and, uh, shampoo,

01:08:22.400 toothpaste, you put water in plastic cups, everything's in plastic.

01:08:28.180 They all have endocrine disruptors that are keeping testosterone from binding to your system

01:08:34.140 and producing the desired effect.

01:08:36.340 There's a great book called master your tea by Christopher Walker.

01:08:40.680 I believe Christopher Walker, master your tea.

01:08:43.280 It's, it's, it's a bit of a textbook kind of read, but very, very insightful about what's

01:08:48.700 going on.

01:08:49.860 Cool.

01:08:50.840 All right.

01:08:51.360 Let's wrap it up.

01:08:52.300 All right.

01:08:52.980 So we have a couple call to actions, but I think the key things is store.order of man

01:08:57.200 is still open.

01:08:58.480 If you guys want to order some equipment, um, or some gear and whatnot, whether it's be

01:09:02.940 battle planners, t-shirts, hats, and et cetera.

01:09:05.600 Um, and of course connect with Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler, and

01:09:11.840 then the iron council that's opening up in 15 days.

01:09:14.740 So be prepared.

01:09:16.520 Uh, that will only be open for a few weeks and it's going to close right back up until

01:09:20.080 next quarter.

01:09:20.640 So you guys need to act if you want to join us within the IEC and then band with us.

01:09:25.760 You know, we had a couple of questions about communities, facebook.com slash group slash

01:09:29.620 order of man, uh, to connect with us on Facebook and to rub shoulders with other like-minded

01:09:35.440 men.

01:09:37.080 That's it.

01:09:37.920 Well done.

01:09:38.880 All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become

01:09:43.180 the man you are meant to be.

01:09:44.920 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:09:47.700 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:09:51.500 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - June 01, 2022

Boosting Testosterone Naturally, Overcoming Temptation, and Making the Most of Reading a Book ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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