Order of Man - Check In on Your Men ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.580 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here. Welcome

00:00:31.760 back. Glad to have you aboard in any fashion, whether this is your first episode or you've

00:00:36.820 listened to all 900 plus at this point. I'm glad you're here. We need to continue to share this

00:00:42.360 message of reclaiming and restoring masculinity. And frankly, we need to bring this message into

00:00:49.460 our own lives, into our hearts, our souls. When we slip up, when we mess up, we need to

00:00:54.520 go back to the drawing board, get the fundamentals down. And that's what we're doing here. We're

00:00:59.260 helping all of us, myself included, with the fundamentals of masculinity and manliness and

00:01:03.700 how we can improve our lives and the lives of the people around us. So I'm going to get

00:01:09.020 into a very, very important message that I've stumbled upon a little bit over the past several

00:01:14.520 weeks. And it's one of manliness, frankly. It's something that we as men should be doing.

00:01:20.400 Before we get into it, just want to mention that we've got our store over at store.orderofman.com.

00:01:27.560 You can check out the merchandise, including this hat and this black shirt that I've got

00:01:31.280 on here. Again, that's store.orderofman.com. Great way to look good, support a movement you

00:01:36.520 believe in, and also support us. So check it out, store.orderofman.com. Also, the Iron Council

00:01:43.420 is going to be opening up very, very soon here in the next 30 to 45 days. So if you head

00:01:48.060 to orderofman.com slash Iron Council, orderofman.com slash Iron Council, you can get on the wait list

00:01:54.540 to be notified. All right, guys, let me share this message with you. And this one will be

00:01:58.240 a bit of a rapid fire for a Friday field notes. Usually I have some well articulated and crafted

00:02:03.720 information and I don't today. I'm shooting off the hip a little bit because of some personal

00:02:08.800 experiences I've had over the past several weeks. And I'm going to leave, not leave. I'm

00:02:13.100 going to start with it by saying, you need to check on your men. You need to check on

00:02:18.140 your men. I've, like I said, had some personal experiences where some things have been shared

00:02:23.600 with me and I've shared things with other people. I won't get into that because of the privacy

00:02:28.080 of the conversations I've had. But it is amazing to me how often we as men can look at other

00:02:34.720 people in our lives, friends, family members, brothers, colleagues, co-workers, parents, and

00:02:39.700 believe that they have everything figured out. But what I've noticed, and again, this is over

00:02:44.320 the past several weeks, is that just lying under the surface, there's something there.

00:02:49.940 And maybe you've noticed it. Maybe you've noticed a look in somebody's eye. Maybe their demeanor

00:02:55.700 has changed. Maybe their attitude has changed or something. There's a factor. There's a variable

00:03:02.140 there that causes you to question whether or not that individual is okay. Now, it's hard sometimes

00:03:10.580 as men. It's not hard, but we make it harder than it needs to be when it comes to reaching out to other

00:03:16.200 guys. I didn't know how to broach the subject. I didn't know how to talk about it. I didn't want

00:03:20.940 you to be offended. I didn't want to pry. Guys, get that stuff out of your head. Who cares if they're

00:03:27.000 offended? Who cares if you pry? If you're a friend of that person or in some sort of capacity,

00:03:31.340 then you have a responsibility to do it. If you notice something that's off, my friend Stephen

00:03:36.880 Mansfield calls it the free fire zone, where you actually give other men permission to have these

00:03:42.360 kind of conversations with you and check you and tell you when things look off and tell you when they

00:03:47.660 see behavior in you that you need to correct. But I would suggest to you that if you see something

00:03:52.200 off in another man, a brother of yours, that you check in on that guy and you don't worry about

00:03:57.060 being offended and you don't worry about, you don't want to pry. I mean, if you care

00:04:01.660 about the guy, reach out. And here's what I would do. Hey, Joe, I've been a friend of yours

00:04:07.940 for a long time. We've never really had very many deep conversations. Some we have and some

00:04:13.020 we haven't. But I've noticed something about you over the past several weeks or I've noticed

00:04:18.120 something over the past several months. And I've been nervous about reaching out to you and

00:04:23.460 connecting with you, but are you okay? Is everything okay? How are you? How's your

00:04:28.900 fitness? How's your family life? How's your business? How's your career? Like, is everything

00:04:32.520 okay? And when they give you the answer, the default answer is no, everything's good. I'm

00:04:37.080 fine. Everything's okay. If you notice something's off, don't accept that. Don't accept it. Now you

00:04:43.200 don't need to be a jerk about it and you certainly don't want to push them away, but very simply 0.98

00:04:47.340 you might say, Hey, you know, I know that's the default answer that most of us as men go to, 0.98

00:04:51.580 but I'm genuine about my care for you. And I really do want to know. I'm genuinely curious

00:04:59.080 because I want to know if there's something I can do to serve you. And when you do this,

00:05:02.900 you never know. You might just talk somebody off the proverbial ledge or the literal ledge

00:05:07.700 if it comes to that. And if it has come to that and it has, and you guys have seen that a lot of

00:05:13.060 you have experienced suicidal thoughts yourself, uh, or know somebody close to you who is suicidal

00:05:19.540 or even has committed suicide. And maybe just somebody checking on them would have been enough

00:05:25.320 to get them off of that ledge and back on the path they need to be. We've run into all sorts of

00:05:31.300 problems in life, bankruptcies, lawsuits, business isn't going well, health scares, fitness is out of

00:05:39.520 order, uh, addiction, separations, divorces, losing children, loss of a loved one. You can bet and be

00:05:49.940 fairly certain that if you were to walk around and bump into a hundred people on the street,

00:05:55.080 that 80, 90, 95, maybe even a hundred percent of those individuals have something going on in their

00:06:01.900 life. And they need to be able to talk about it. They need somebody in their corner. They need a

00:06:07.800 champion and yet they don't have it or they don't feel like they do. And so they suffer in silence

00:06:13.060 and they wallow in their own self-pity and they bounce around with the thoughts that are going

00:06:17.340 around in their mind and they can't get it out and they can't express it. And maybe all they need is

00:06:21.000 for a man to come up and say, brother, I love you. I care about you. I want you to win. You're

00:06:27.100 important to me. What is going on in your life? What is going on in your life? So that's my message for

00:06:33.560 you today. It's very short, very quick. It's not this 10 step formula or whatever I normally do.

00:06:38.460 But what I would say as I close today is I would challenge you to take a look and do an inventory

00:06:44.520 with the people in your life, men, women, brothers, sisters, colleagues, coworkers,

00:06:48.680 whoever it may be, and ask yourself, is there something going on with that person?

00:06:54.640 Is there something that person needs to talk about? Is there some way that I could reach out to this

00:06:59.400 individual and help them by lending them an ear or letting them express their concerns or just

00:07:05.900 having an outlet to vent or talk or whatever it may be that they need? You never know how long that

00:07:12.140 will go. And we quite literally have a moral responsibility and obligation. If we can't do that,

00:07:18.360 nothing else really matters. That's why we're here on this planet. We're here to do good. We're here to

00:07:23.200 grow. We're here to overcome challenges and hardship. And we're here to help other people do the same.

00:07:28.000 And to me, although I haven't always been perfect at it, I am striving to do that.

00:07:32.460 But to me, that is the mark of being a man. So that's my challenge to you. Inventory and reach

00:07:39.000 out to one or two or three or 10 or however many people you need to reach out to and check your

00:07:44.220 brothers. Make sure they're okay because they might not be. And you could be the catalyst for change

00:07:50.120 and growth in their life. All right, guys, you have your marching orders. You have your challenge.

00:07:54.760 Get it done. Let's go out there and help millions and millions of men this weekend over the next 24

00:08:00.320 to 48 hours. And let's see what kind of good we can do. All right, guys, I'll be back next week.

00:08:05.180 Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:08:09.780 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:08:14.160 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - August 26, 2022

Check In on Your Men ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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