Order of Man - January 25, 2023


Check Your Hormones, Where 'Red Pill' Goes Wrong, and How to Attract Women | ASK ME ANYTHING


Episode Stats

Length

57 minutes

Words per Minute

187.17412

Word Count

10,841

Sentence Count

922

Misogynist Sentences

27

Hate Speech Sentences

18


Summary

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the discuss their favorite childhood movies, tv shows, and cartoons. They also discuss some of their favorite TV shows and movies they grew up watching. They also talk about some of the worst movies they ever watched as kids.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
00:00:04.920 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:10.260 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:16.940 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.420 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up, brother? It's great to see you after
00:00:27.400 a two-week hiatus. I'm looking a little darker than you, which is not usually the case.
00:00:33.100 I noticed a little tan. All the Mainers are going to lose their mind with someone with a slight tan
00:00:39.300 hanging around. The Mainers call anybody from out of state or from another area. You're either a
00:00:46.560 flatlander or you're from away. With the golden glow I have going on right now, they will definitely
00:00:53.280 know that I am from away, especially in the midst of the snowstorm we're dealing with today.
00:00:57.440 What's a flatlander? What's that? I don't even know why they call it that because I was...
00:01:04.040 Because Main's kind of flat. Flat relative to Utah, which is where I am.
00:01:09.240 Yeah. Interesting. Maybe they're like, what is it on Dumb and Dumber? I thought the Rockies
00:01:16.200 would be a little bit more rocky than this. That John Denver is full of shit, man.
00:01:19.860 Oh, that's a good show. I need to bring that up through the archives.
00:01:26.680 Yeah. It's a great show. So yeah, we've been trying to introduce our kids to some various
00:01:32.260 classics and Dumb and Dumber was definitely on that list, including Wayne's World. That
00:01:36.380 was on the list. And then there's some other more serious ones like Braveheart. We watched
00:01:42.060 not too long ago together. Gladiator. What else? Legends of the Falls, a great movie. I don't
00:01:48.880 know if they've watched that one yet, but yeah, we try to introduce them to some of these really
00:01:52.400 good ones. We did the same thing and we grabbed some childhood favorite movies that we liked.
00:01:58.780 And then we're like, man, this is inappropriate, right? I was like, why would my parents let
00:02:04.480 me watch these shows? It was really funny. Yeah. We were watching Shrek the other day
00:02:09.460 and noticed how much sexual innuendo was in that. Totally.
00:02:14.660 But if you got to ask... It's an adult cartoon. Kids have no idea.
00:02:18.480 That's right. Yeah. And that's the thing. Is it really inappropriate for kids if they don't
00:02:22.340 get it? Maybe not. I think it's just deployed to make sure that the parents are somewhat
00:02:26.980 entertained because they're the ones paying for the movie tickets to get their kids there. So if
00:02:30.920 it's not entertaining for the adults, the adults are like, screw that. I'm not going to that.
00:02:35.640 Totally. I love watching Shrek. I think it's funny. What's the childhood story where the kids
00:02:41.040 find a shipwreck and it's like in the mountain. Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:02:44.740 Oh, that's good. Are you talking about Goonies?
00:02:46.540 Goonies. Yeah.
00:02:47.340 Yeah. I love Goonies.
00:02:49.040 How do you forget Goonies?
00:02:50.160 I know. I don't know why I forgot the title, but I love Goonies and we were watching that
00:02:54.080 with our kids. They're cursing the whole time. I'm like, oh yeah. No cursing, but I'm like,
00:02:59.360 this is a great show. And they're like, you're parents that you watch this?
00:03:02.800 We watch occasionally old Looney Tunes or you know what is the worst, the worst movie? Pinocchio.
00:03:10.420 Pinocchio. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, I remember when I was a kid, I was scared of Pinocchio. Number
00:03:16.360 one, that movie was scary. Eaten by the whale. And then he gets kidnapped by, I think a fox and
00:03:21.760 a bear, if I remember right. And then they get taken to this groomer Island where they're grooming
00:03:26.760 all these little boys and they call them jackasses. They're literally turning them into donkeys.
00:03:32.120 And then they're all, they're all smoking. I'm like, this is a horrible, horrible show.
00:03:36.200 They're trapped. Pinocchio is trapped in a cage with these two pedophiles. Like this is a horrible,
00:03:41.140 horrible show. Oh, weird. That's Disney's intro into woke ideology. I suppose.
00:03:48.460 Oh my gosh. Land before time. No, no. Never ending story. I watched that like a couple of years ago.
00:03:54.660 The worst movie of all time. I loved it as a kid, as an adult, it is miserable. I just remember that
00:04:01.620 white dragon. I think it was that he flies on if I remember. Flying dog.
00:04:06.200 It's flying dog. That's what it is. Yeah. All right. Well guys, maybe, uh, maybe what you can
00:04:12.080 do is you could submit your favorite childhood movies and then we could come up with some sort
00:04:17.940 of archive to introduce our children to Pinocchio will not be on the list. Neither will never
00:04:22.100 ever be a child approved movies for order of man. That's right. That's right. All right. All right,
00:04:27.220 brother. Let's get into it today. Yeah. We're going to fill the questions from our Facebook group.
00:04:31.260 That's facebook.com slash group slash order, man. Join us there. Paul beam expectations.
00:04:37.740 I don't understand how we can have standards, but no expectations.
00:04:44.680 Well, I don't, I'm not sure that no expectations is, is appropriate. I may have said that in the past.
00:04:51.700 So let me, let me give some nuance to that. If you're going to have expectations for certain
00:04:57.700 people, then they have to be stated and agreed upon. It's, it's not, we've talked a lot about
00:05:04.060 covert contracts. So for example, if you expect your wife to do certain things around the house
00:05:11.280 or to behave a certain way or to respond to you a certain way, and yet you haven't communicated that
00:05:17.080 clearly to her and she hasn't agreed upon that expectation, that's where I would say, no, you
00:05:22.360 shouldn't have that expectation because you haven't been fair to the other party. But Kip, if you and I
00:05:29.200 are in a business agreement and we are in this context, we're friends, but in this context, a
00:05:34.520 business agreement, then there are some expectations that I have of you. And I've communicated those
00:05:39.920 expectations and you've communicated your expectations to me. And if either one of us fail to meet those
00:05:44.740 expectations, it's not a surprise of what those are. And of course there's going to be consequences
00:05:50.600 to that. So we have standards about the way that we perform. We have standards about the way that we
00:05:55.080 show up and what we do and how we communicate. And here's the, the, the set expectation and it is what
00:06:00.660 it is. Now there's other people that I don't think we should have expectations of that. We just don't
00:06:08.220 have the right to have expectations of, you know, like I don't expect people. Uh, what are the things I've
00:06:14.600 been doing over the past, I would say two months, really, really hard is hitting the gym very heavily.
00:06:21.340 And I don't have any expectations about my friends should go to the gym. Or if I go to the gym, then the
00:06:28.200 people there should do workouts the way that I approve or deem appropriate. It's not really my place to have
00:06:33.880 an expectation of them. All that I can worry about is my own personal expectation and agreements with myself
00:06:39.460 and the standard I hold myself to. I'll give you an example. I was doing some reps this morning.
00:06:45.460 I can't, I can't remember what it was. Maybe it was some weighted, you know, front squats or something.
00:06:50.640 I can't remember. And I was doing these reps and I lost track. I was supposed to do 12 of them and I
00:06:55.680 lost track of them. And I could have just finished up and say, yeah, I think I got 10, but I did two more.
00:07:02.820 Just maybe I did more. I don't really know. I lost track, but I know for sure I hit my,
00:07:07.080 what I was supposed to hit, I probably did a little bit more, but I'd rather do that than
00:07:11.400 not do enough. And would anybody catch me on that? Is there anybody in the gym to critique that? Is
00:07:16.820 Johnny Loretty, who's my fitness trainer and nutritionist, would he, would he know about that?
00:07:21.920 No, but I do. And so I'm really, really working hard to hold myself to my own personal standard.
00:07:28.760 So I hope that answers the question, but yeah, there are people that you should have expectations.
00:07:32.560 I have expectations of my children. I have expectations of you. I have expectations of my wife.
00:07:36.880 I have expectations of other business partners and all of that is communicated clearly. And if I
00:07:42.340 don't, then I have no right to be upset when they fail to meet my covert contract that I've created
00:07:48.440 in my mind and not shared with them. Totally. One resource on this that's super great that I think
00:07:54.620 he's done an amazing job and he's been on the podcast, John Gary Bishop. He has an entire section
00:08:00.660 of his book, I think around just expectations and, and he latches onto the area that not on the
00:08:08.020 communication, you know, which I totally agree with, but eventually, right. There becomes a time
00:08:13.280 where we had expectations. Maybe there were people outside of our realm of control. We have expectations
00:08:18.260 around how the government is, but we're not in a position necessarily to communicate those
00:08:23.180 expectations per se, or maybe we do communicate and, and those expectations aren't met. His premise
00:08:30.180 is learn to let go of them. So you can deal in reality because sometimes we have expectations
00:08:36.020 of the way things should go and we, and we won't let go of it because well, Ryan, I shouldn't have to.
00:08:43.020 Right. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this in my life. It's I have, and I won't let go of the
00:08:48.360 expectation. I shouldn't have to deal with these struggles. I shouldn't, it shouldn't be this
00:08:52.780 difficult and we'll hold onto it so much that we don't deal in reality. And, and so I totally agree
00:09:00.040 have expectations, but also learn to let go of them and deal with what is so. And, and sometimes our
00:09:07.380 expectations, we have all, I don't know, there's so much, I don't know if it's ego or the desire to
00:09:12.680 want to be right, but sometimes we'll just hold onto them and not deal with reality.
00:09:16.720 Yeah. Well, and I think you brought up a key phrase should not. So it's, you know,
00:09:22.400 that you have expectations of people, whether it's healthy or unhealthy, you know, you're dealing in
00:09:27.860 expectations when you say should and should not about other people. Kip should do this. My wife
00:09:33.680 should do that. My kids should not do this. That those are expectations that you have. And again,
00:09:38.880 sometimes that's appropriate. My kids should not backtalk their mother. They know that that's an
00:09:45.040 expectation. And so we talk about that. And then here, here's something. If I see another kid
00:09:50.920 backtalking his mom, well, he shouldn't do that. What? Like, why would I have that expectation of
00:09:57.700 that other child? I've noticed that as I've tried to let go of this need to control, I think that's
00:10:03.020 where it comes from. Life has just got better. I'm happier. I'm more carefree. I can focus on more
00:10:08.360 important matters because I'm not worried about what that kid who I have nothing to do with should
00:10:12.560 and should not do. Yeah. And see, even here, it applies in order of man. Look, I can tell you
00:10:17.720 guys, a man should, a man should not, a man should do this. A man should do that. Look, I have my own
00:10:21.440 shoulds and should nots that I need to work on clearly. Yeah, totally. And I communicate this
00:10:26.060 stuff to you guys. But at the end of the day, like if you come to me and you're like, well, Ryan,
00:10:29.740 you know, you said this, but I don't do that. I don't care. It's not my expectation that you do it
00:10:34.400 the exact same way as me. All that I want to do is share some victories, share some, some setbacks,
00:10:39.520 and hopefully it inspires you to live a more meaningful life, but it's your obligation to
00:10:44.180 take what works and leave what doesn't and run it through your own filter in your own life.
00:10:49.320 I really don't have an expectation as to whether or not you do something that I suggest. It doesn't
00:10:54.020 matter to me. Yeah. And I just wanted to point out, there's some serious things in life that,
00:10:58.680 that this shows up in, right? If we're dealing with death or, or disease or an unhealthy family
00:11:06.120 member, sometimes we'll latch onto those and say, I have this expectation. I shouldn't have to deal
00:11:10.620 with this, right? I, I, I shouldn't have my father pass away or my kids shouldn't have the sickness or
00:11:17.660 these difficulties. Well, but they are. So let it go. Well, and I think that's where, and we're beating
00:11:24.660 a dead horse now, but I think that's where your own expectations come in because that's going to help
00:11:29.900 you navigate those things. So for example, if you have a loved one pass away and you worry about
00:11:36.260 your locus control, which is how you handle yourself, then you're going to be able to navigate
00:11:41.100 that successfully, including helping other people navigate it. Or if you're going through a breakup
00:11:46.340 or a divorce, um, or, uh, a layoff or, or, or economic hardship, you know, there's things beyond
00:11:53.860 your control. And I'm not saying it makes it, well, no, I think I am saying it makes it easier
00:11:59.900 if you focus on your own expectations. So the world could be crumbling around you. And if you say,
00:12:06.180 Hey, you know what, in these dark and, and destructive and challenging times, my expectation
00:12:12.260 or my standard is that I show up like this kind of man. I, I think that is going to help you handle
00:12:17.660 it more easily than if you put it all on your wife or your kids or the economy or the president
00:12:24.560 or something that's completely beyond your control. So put the expectations on your shoulders of how
00:12:29.480 you perform. I think that's a better approach to it. Dallin Michael, what kind of rites of passage
00:12:36.620 can I do with my daughters or is that my wife's job? The sons I have ideas that I feel, um, the sons I
00:12:44.380 have ideas that feel natural, but the girl I'm struggling with. Yeah. I thought a lot about
00:12:50.640 this. I, I actually, I don't think that it needs to be different for your daughter. I really don't.
00:12:56.340 I actually, I've been toying around with the idea that maybe it's more important for your daughter.
00:13:02.440 I'll give you an example, martial arts. I spent some time with a good friend, uh, in Costa Rica over
00:13:08.180 the past week and a half. Uh, his name's Rick trimmer. He's been on the podcast. He's a good friend of
00:13:12.560 mine and he's also so it's back. Yeah. And he, he also, him and his wife happened to be business
00:13:18.160 partners with revitalized, uh, womanhood, which is a very cool program specifically with focused on
00:13:23.640 women, similar to what we're doing here with the order of men. Anyways, the, the reason I bring
00:13:27.220 that his name up is I think he's six, five. He's a very imposing, intimidating figure. And we were
00:13:33.320 talking about safety as he travels him and his family travel extensively. And we, like I said,
00:13:36.880 we were down in Costa Rica and he said, you know, here's some things I don't go to unsafe places,
00:13:40.940 but he said something interesting. He said, you know, people don't mess with me.
00:13:45.500 He's six, five. He, he, he's, he's, he's a fun, loving, happy, friendly jokester.
00:13:52.880 But I would like, if I'm, if I'm trying to victimize somebody, I'm not going to mess with
00:13:57.380 a guy that's six, five skipping that guy, right? Like I'm going to go to the next guy or, or maybe
00:14:02.160 even the woman, right? Yeah. Not the guy at all. Cause I'm looking for the path of least resistance.
00:14:06.520 I'm looking for the easy target. Well, women are easier targets than men. It's just, look,
00:14:13.900 people are going to say that's misogynistic or that sexist or whatever. It's the reality. Okay.
00:14:17.640 They're smaller. They're, they're easy, easier to, uh, to, to handle if, if needs be, I think
00:14:25.000 generally, I know this might get me into some trouble. Women generally tend to be a little bit
00:14:29.840 more naive than men do. Generally, the more loving they're, they're less skeptical. Yeah.
00:14:37.140 Right. Totally. So I think if you're talking about martial arts, for example, it might be
00:14:43.400 more important that a woman or, or your daughter in this case learns that than a man, I'm not saying
00:14:50.340 a man shouldn't, I'm saying it might be more important that she does than your son does.
00:14:53.800 Yeah. Or it might be more important that she knows how to change a tire than your son does.
00:15:00.860 Cause she's the one who's at risk. If her tire blows out on the side of the road and she's all
00:15:06.420 by herself and she's changing her tire on the highway, she's at greater risk than a man is
00:15:11.260 in any, in any circumstance. So I would suggest that all the things that we talk about with rite of
00:15:17.560 passages with hardship and challenge and struggle and adversity. And those things should be introduced
00:15:24.440 to your daughter just as much, if not more so than your sons. The only difference is that when you
00:15:30.060 talk about, is that your wife's job? No, it's not her job to offer rites of passages because women
00:15:37.140 don't offer hardship in that relationship. That's not their role. That's the man's role. It's your job
00:15:44.800 to introduce hardship and struggle and toil. Think about on a small micro level. When your
00:15:49.680 daughter's learning to ride her bike, she's what, four or five, six years old. She's learning to ride
00:15:53.740 her bike and she falls. What does the mom do? Runs over. Oh, sweetie. Oh, are you okay? Oh,
00:16:01.100 let me brush off the dirt. Let me get the rocks at it. Let me kiss your boo-boo. Let me get you a
00:16:04.720 bandaid. And that's the mom's job. That's not wrong, by the way. It's a nurturing, loving approach to
00:16:11.820 concern it for her well-being. The man says, hey, dust it off. I know it hurts. I know it's a little
00:16:19.780 bloody. Just wipe it off. Get the gravel out of there and put your helmet back on, right? And
00:16:24.860 you know, get back on the bike and encourage her to push past the fear and the pain. And that's the
00:16:30.600 man's job. So, it's the man's job to offer the rites of passages because it offers hardship.
00:16:36.260 It's your wife's job to make sure that she turns into a fine young woman, a beautiful, lovely woman.
00:16:44.540 She's supposed to be teaching her femininity. She's supposed to teach her how to nurture
00:16:49.560 and how to nourish and how to support and how to love. That's your wife's job. Your job is to offer
00:16:56.420 the hardship and the fortitude to get through those challenges. Yeah, I like it. Although I have a hard
00:17:02.060 time, imagine Asia going, oh, it's okay. She's the same as me. We're like, for sure. Get back up,
00:17:08.160 you pansy. But let's be honest, that's masculine energy. Totally. I mean, that's, and I'm not saying
00:17:14.120 she's masculine, but that is. But she has masculinity in her, just like we have feminine. Of course.
00:17:21.020 Of course. Totally. Like it. Tyler Henderson. I work out five, six times a week, drink plenty of
00:17:28.440 water throughout the day. And I'm very intentional about how I eat. Additionally, I get about seven
00:17:33.380 hours of sleep a night on average. Caffeine intake isn't insanely high, but I do drink a cup of coffee
00:17:38.440 in the morning and in the afternoon after lunch. You're making us look bad here, Tyler. That said,
00:17:43.980 I still tend to get pretty tired throughout the day. Any tips on maintaining better energy levels?
00:17:49.360 Maybe some things that I can work well for, or that has worked well for you.
00:17:53.200 Yeah. So I'm going to give you like a physiological answer. Well, I guess you're
00:17:58.680 both physiological, but I'll give you the physiological answer and then I'll give you
00:18:02.240 the mental answer. So let's, so let's just address the physiological first. Go get your
00:18:08.380 hormones checked. Go get your, go get your blood worked up, do a workup, figure out where your
00:18:13.420 testosterone levels are, figure out how, how that's all regulated so that you can see, you know,
00:18:19.480 your, your testosterone might be critically low. Mine, mine was, mine was in the 200s. It's been a
00:18:24.140 while and I haven't checked it. I don't, I don't take testosterone. I did for a little bit and I
00:18:29.400 might do it in the future. But I, I feel more energetic. I feel I'm getting bigger. I'm leaning
00:18:37.080 out, but I wanted to try it by number ones. I stopped drinking alcohol. That was huge.
00:18:44.320 That fact. I don't know if you drink alcohol, but that was huge. Uh, and I was shocked. Like how
00:18:50.900 completely shocked how quickly I lost weight and my energy levels went up when I stopped drinking.
00:18:57.540 Amazing. So there's that. Uh, but my testosterone was in the two hundreds, but I, but I've done a lot
00:19:04.020 of different things, including diet, exercise, again, stop drinking. And I, I'd be, I need to go get
00:19:08.840 my blood worked up now. Cause I bet it's higher. Cause I feel like I have more energy, more stamina,
00:19:13.340 more focus, more control. So I would definitely say, get your hormones checked.
00:19:18.440 So that's the physiological, the mental side of it. I would ask yourself, what is my purpose in life?
00:19:28.160 What, what is it that I'm passionate about? What is my purpose? You know, what, what things do I see
00:19:34.500 in life? What are, what are hills that I'm willing to die on? Like what causes am I fighting for?
00:19:39.720 What gets me excited outside of being a, be a husband and my wife, uh, being a father to my
00:19:46.300 children? What is it that really, really drives me? And if you can't answer those questions,
00:19:51.380 we really got to dive deep and figuring out why that's the case. Cause I know a lot of guys and
00:19:56.940 I can see it in their eyes. When I drive by them on the road, they're 50 pounds overweight.
00:20:00.960 They've got, they're sitting in their wife's minivan. They're going to a work, a job that
00:20:06.680 they hate. And you can see the desperation and torment in their eyes. I don't want that for you
00:20:12.040 guys. So I would suggest that there might be some deep work here needed to figure out,
00:20:16.560 are you living and stepping into God's plan and purpose for you? Because if you're not,
00:20:23.200 no wonder you're tired. No wonder you're exhausted. No wonder there's nothing that gets you going
00:20:29.380 to revved up throughout the day. Hormones mentality of purpose.
00:20:36.280 Jeremy clay, how to stay plugged in. I've had mentors, et cetera, for most of my life,
00:20:41.700 but there are periods of life I unplug and I won't, and I won't say I don't listen to them,
00:20:47.660 but self-thinking wins. And that never goes as good as listening to the council. Any thoughts
00:20:54.280 plugged in to what exactly? Like he's saying self-thinking, but I, I actually think, I believe
00:21:04.300 that self-thinking, which if I don't know what he's saying, but I would say is like intuition,
00:21:10.720 maybe, you know, he's saying, listen to counsel. I'd actually say, listen more to intuition than
00:21:15.180 listen to counsel. I'm not saying don't listen to good, wise, credible counsel, but every time I
00:21:20.720 followed my gut, I, things have gone well. Every time I've deviated from that, things have not gone
00:21:27.320 so well. So at a, at a, at a core, I would say, no, do follow your gut and then figure out from
00:21:34.940 your counsel, how to take action and navigate what your gut is telling you. That that's what I would
00:21:39.520 say. But also read the question one more time. Cause I had one more thought and I took a note,
00:21:45.340 but now I kind of lost track. Read the question one more time for me.
00:21:48.200 And I, I'm, maybe I'm messing up, but it's a little hard to read here. So how to stay unplugged,
00:21:52.960 how to stay plugged in question mark. I have had mentors and et cetera for most of my life,
00:21:58.160 but there are periods of life I unplug and I won't say I don't listen to them, but self-thinking wins
00:22:04.840 and that never goes as good as listening to counsel. Okay. So I, yeah, I think what I'm hearing
00:22:11.340 is that he's getting stuck in his own head and it's negative. It's like, you can't do this.
00:22:17.220 You're not good enough. What makes you think you deserve this? Who are you to dot, dot, dot.
00:22:21.420 Those are all thoughts that all of us have. Yeah. You can entertain them for a minute and then just
00:22:29.220 decide to shut them off. I think about those things every day. When I go through my failures,
00:22:34.780 my setbacks, my challenges, I think to myself, who are you? Who are you to do this? Who are you to tell
00:22:41.520 men how to be men? Who are you to, to, to run this organization? What makes you think you're
00:22:46.300 special? And the reality is, is all of that's true. You know, like, who am I, who am I to tell
00:22:51.640 guys what they should do when I'm keenly aware of my own struggles and my own faults. And I don't
00:22:56.880 entertain those thoughts for long because what I say to myself is who am I not to like, who am I not
00:23:03.000 to share my struggles and my faults? Who am I not to share the things that have worked well for me that
00:23:08.640 might inspire one other man to do something in his life that's going to move them in a positive
00:23:13.500 direction? Or who am I not to hold up a warning sign and say, don't do this. This is what I did
00:23:20.360 and it didn't work. And I suggest that you don't go this route, that you go that route over there.
00:23:26.780 Who am I not to do that? What a shame if I cower and I hide and I slink away into obscurity because
00:23:34.340 I'm so worried about my fragile ego that I can't take my lessons of failure and setback and victory
00:23:41.220 and translate those or gift those to somebody else. Who are you not to do that? So sure,
00:23:48.460 if you want to entertain those thoughts, if you need to let them rumourate in your mind a little
00:23:52.040 bit and bounce around in your mind, give them an expiration date. You know, hey, look, feeling down
00:23:57.880 on the dumps. I'm going to take an hour and I'm going to unplug from my mentors or my emails or
00:24:03.720 whatever. Or I'm going to go on vacation. I'm going to take a three-day vacation or even a staycation.
00:24:09.160 And I'm going to think about this. And then I'm back to work. That stuff expires. I'm not going to
00:24:14.460 sit around and wallow in my own self-pity. And one thing that's worked well for me when I do that
00:24:20.140 is I don't let it just bounce around in my brain. You got to get it out. You got to get it a release
00:24:27.340 valve. And one way you might be able to do that is by journaling. So go ahead and take out a journal
00:24:33.140 and say, I don't feel worthy. I don't feel good about myself. I don't feel successful. Like write
00:24:39.820 all of it down because now you're purging the toxicity from your mind. You got to get it out of
00:24:44.720 your brain and just dump it somewhere. And maybe you just take that piece of paper. And at the end
00:24:50.400 of every day or every gripe session you have, you rip it up, you throw it away, you burn it,
00:24:54.480 you do whatever, but at least it's out of your mind. And don't believe for a second that you're
00:24:59.080 different. The most successful people in the world have these same exact thoughts. You're not
00:25:05.640 different. You're not broken and you're not doing it wrong. We just need to move you to phase
00:25:13.020 B, which is, okay, maybe you aren't good enough right now. Well, what can you do to be better?
00:25:20.360 You know, maybe you aren't a great husband and that sucks to wrestle with. So what are you going
00:25:26.300 to do about it? Maybe you're 50 pounds overweight and you don't feel confident because you look in
00:25:32.880 the mirror and you can't even see your dick anymore. Okay. Like that sucks. And now, so what
00:25:39.720 are you, that's phase B, what are you going to do about it? And now you get to work. Cause I'll tell
00:25:45.020 you what, I've never felt bad in the midst of actively working to improve myself. Maybe before,
00:25:50.920 maybe after, but not while I'm actively doing it. I like the idea of just finish the thought.
00:25:59.840 Yes. Finish, finish the thought and come up with a conclusion. So even if you're thinking
00:26:04.880 negative about yourself and you're kind of beating yourself up, okay, deal with it. And then what?
00:26:11.040 So that's how I feel. So what are you going to do about it? Finish the thought. We need to stop
00:26:16.400 being lazy with the thoughts that enter our minds and follow them to a conclusion or determine what
00:26:21.140 the conclusion is or to your point, what's the action? What are you going to do about it?
00:26:25.880 It's, it's when we don't do that, that everyone goes, Oh, you're so negative. It's so bad for you.
00:26:31.260 Yeah. It's only bad if you do something. It's right. It could be really great if you actually
00:26:36.620 have it cause action. So take some action out of it. Yeah. Look, I think, I think guilt and shame
00:26:47.100 and remorse and even a guilty conscience. I think that's healthy. Like everybody says,
00:26:57.880 Oh, you know, you shouldn't feel ashamed. Oh, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Oh, you shouldn't.
00:27:02.640 Why? What, why if you've done some horrible things, why should you not feel ashamed about that?
00:27:10.200 That's, that's, those are, that's God's way of saying, Hey, that's not right. Integrity.
00:27:16.680 Yeah. What you're doing isn't right. Let's say you participate in that. Let's say you step out on
00:27:21.260 your wife and you feel sorrow and grief and remorse about that. Well, yeah. Why shouldn't
00:27:28.860 you feel that way? You dishonored your wife and you failed on a commitment to her. You should feel
00:27:33.720 bad about that. So then you drive, not, not drives you into pit of despair, but drives you into doing
00:27:41.180 something better. Totally. That's the purpose of it. And, and here's the, if you don't mind me,
00:27:46.820 just psychoanalyze in a little bit, what we do is we'll put a label about who we are.
00:27:52.840 So that way it draws like, and I really think we do it because it means there's nothing for me to do.
00:27:58.320 It's also very lazy. So if I, if I make a mistake and I go to the position of, let's say I'm,
00:28:05.420 I'm overweight. I'm, I'm such a lazy ass, right? If I go to the area of label,
00:28:11.560 then it's like, well, and that's just who I am. That's just where I am. Yep. Can't do nothing
00:28:16.960 about it. But, but if my messaging is, I have fat, I'm out of shape, then I can have a conclusion of
00:28:24.580 what are you going to do about it? But if I give myself the label, then it's just like,
00:28:29.120 I'm, it's a form of throwing my hands up and there's nothing I can do. And what's unfortunate,
00:28:35.000 and it's really disempowering because now you've taken it to the whole extreme level. You've
00:28:39.500 identified yourself and your self-worth based upon addressing the issue, which would draw action.
00:28:46.140 So just be mindful of kind of those labels that we put on ourselves. It's really a form of washing
00:28:51.100 our hands of responsibility. I think that's true. Well, one example that's specifically accurate in
00:28:57.580 my life is alcoholism. I could very easily say that I'm an alcoholic and I've been to meetings
00:29:06.080 where people have been sober for decades, 20, 25, 30 years, one in particular, 30 years.
00:29:15.440 And she still introduces herself as I'm an alcoholic. No, you're not. Are you susceptible
00:29:22.420 to alcohol in a way that other people are not? Sure. Yeah. I'll give you that. I am like with my
00:29:28.860 mentality and my personality. If you give me a drink, I'm having all the drinks as soon as possible.
00:29:35.140 That is my nature. That is my personality. That is the way my body is made up. Am I an alcoholic?
00:29:42.600 Yes. If I choose to be, or I could say, you know what? I'm not going to do that. I'm going to
00:29:49.240 refrain from that. I'm going to control myself. I'm going to exercise some discipline. So am I
00:29:53.980 susceptible to it in a way that other people are not? Yes. I would say yes, but I'm not going to
00:29:59.960 define myself that way because I have the power to do something about it. What's next?
00:30:04.920 Peter, Peter Zeffo. When does it stop? When does it stop hurting between jujitsu two to three days a
00:30:12.300 week? I was like going negative, right? Between jujitsu two to three days a week, light weightlifting
00:30:19.400 and a daily walking and running regimen. Something hurts all the time at 48 years old. Is this just the
00:30:25.720 cost they're trying to get and stay in shape? I think you're looking at pain as a negative.
00:30:32.640 I will tell you, I always have a low level of pain somewhere.
00:30:38.220 It's my joints or sometimes my hip or my lower back, or I wake up in the morning and I'm like,
00:30:46.120 oh, even now I can, I'm hunched over right now. So even now I can feel myself. I'm like,
00:30:49.780 open yourself up, man. Cause jujitsu is all about like balling up, right? It's like open. Like
00:30:55.540 nobody's trying to attack you right now. Open yourself up. Okay. Open up as something I have
00:31:00.540 to do. And that actually feels pretty good right now as I'm doing it. Um, yeah, but I always have
00:31:05.040 a low level of pain and I like it. Me too. I actually like it. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I'm
00:31:10.900 like, hell yeah. My elbow hurts. Awesome. That's cause I, I did something with it or somebody put me in
00:31:17.800 arm bar and I learned not to be arm barred anymore. Like that's awesome. Or you know what? I held it
00:31:22.120 a little too long, but I escaped, but I maybe should have let go. I'm like, no, like I escaped.
00:31:26.700 I'm good. Right. Or if I get a black eye or a bruise, I'm like, hell yeah, that's awesome.
00:31:32.100 Like I'm keeping the bruise. Cause that means something happened today. Yes. Now I'm not talking
00:31:37.100 about injury. Okay. Injury is different, but there's always a low level when I'm at the gym and I'm like,
00:31:42.520 oh, that hurts. I'm not saying I'm going to get myself injured, but I can feel the difference
00:31:47.040 between stop doing that. Cause you're going to injure yourself or that eighth and ninth and 10th
00:31:51.760 rep is going to be really hard. And your muscles and your body and your mind, you're going to be
00:31:56.020 saying, don't do that. And then keep doing it. And then you have to like shake off your legs or you
00:32:00.400 can barely walk when you get out of the gym. Like hell yeah. I can't make it down the stairs. I love
00:32:05.140 it. Yeah. I did. Yeah. You got to hold onto the handrails and like do dips down the stairs. Cause
00:32:09.700 your legs don't function, bro. That's life, man. That's, that's how it should be. So I will say that if
00:32:15.900 you're in pain or you're injured, that's something different. And maybe you should look at changing up
00:32:22.420 your training. Maybe, maybe you are going a little too hard. I got injured. My pec separated the,
00:32:29.100 the tendons. Um, and I think part of it was, I was being stupid. And I also think another part of it
00:32:37.740 was that I was exhausted. I was beat down. And, and part of that was because of my unhealthy
00:32:43.900 lifestyle with the drinking, but I was also training like four to six days a week on top
00:32:50.800 of other training. And I was just, I think I was just compromised in addition to being stupid.
00:32:56.400 So both of those go hand in hand and that's a problem. So if you're in pain and it's causing
00:33:02.460 diminishing performance, then yes, reevaluate. But if you're in low level pain, good for you, man.
00:33:09.340 That's awesome. You're way better off than 95% of the other guys out there who are always
00:33:15.180 comfortable, but miserable too. Right. Yeah. You use the analogy of, you know, the, the things
00:33:23.380 on our dashboard, right. In our, in our vehicles telling us warnings. And that's how I see it too.
00:33:28.860 Like I, you know, I was doing, um, hack squats the other day. I hate hack squats. I didn't even put
00:33:34.580 plates. I'm the only dude there. What is that? What's a hack squat? It's, it's leaning and it's
00:33:41.020 a sled, but you're standing. Oh, God. Yep. I know what you're talking about. So, and I'll do those
00:33:47.560 hack squats. I don't even put a plate on there. I'm doing 30 reps, hack squats, not a plate. I'm
00:33:53.200 over there screaming like a girl. Cause it is so hard. And, but my point being is I was doing those
00:33:59.860 hack squats and mine. I felt pain underneath my knee, not normal, right? Not that's different.
00:34:05.200 And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, no, no, no, bad, bad call where I go wrong though, is I'll be
00:34:12.820 tempted to go, well, I'm not going to do hack squats. And last week I was like, no, no, I'm not
00:34:18.980 going to do hack squats, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go over there in the open
00:34:23.200 area. I'm going to grab a plate, put my heels on that plate. And I'm going to do air squats and maybe
00:34:28.660 throwing 50 to a hundred. It's going to be miserable. They're going to be on fire, but I,
00:34:35.540 I worked around it, right? Just like jujitsu. I want to say go less, but maybe train, change the
00:34:42.400 way you're training, right? Use less aggression, focus on technique, get some movement in running,
00:34:49.800 running. It's the same way I could run and hurt myself. But once I start feeling some pain, I'm like,
00:34:54.540 okay, wait a second. Am I heel striking a lot? How do I change my run? Are my,
00:34:58.640 legs aligned, right? Like use it as signals on the dashboard saying, Hey, you know what? Pull
00:35:04.060 over, get some oil, get some gas, put some windshield washer fluid in your car, pivot and
00:35:10.620 adjust a little bit, but don't stop. Yeah. Good call. Well, it's really your call. I just
00:35:16.720 regurgitated something you said. That's why I liked it so much. Hundreds of times I've heard you share
00:35:21.480 stories. Oh, I know. I like it. He's bringing up the dashboard story again. Here we go.
00:35:26.900 Rolling his eyes. I didn't, I figured I didn't know what hack squats were. And now I know,
00:35:31.220 cause I don't do half-ass shit in the gym. I go heavy and I do five reps. That's right.
00:35:39.940 Yeah. When you get older, they start, you got high reps. All right.
00:35:42.840 How old are you? 43. Okay. Yeah. So two years older. Okay. So in two years. Okay.
00:35:52.400 All right. Will Trujillo, what is one thing or several things that have surprised you most about
00:35:59.040 your sobriety? Is this a, this is Billy, right? Billy Trujillo from the iron. Okay, cool.
00:36:03.780 Yeah. Is this a will on there? Yeah. He put will, or at least his Facebook says, will I'm assuming he's
00:36:10.660 trying to mix it up on us. Yeah. I thought so too. The one and only Billy, maybe it's not the one and
00:36:16.320 only. Um, all right. What, so what is it? What's the five, what's the most important thing that
00:36:20.980 surprised me or several things that have surprised you? Yeah. About sobriety. Um, I actually did a
00:36:28.100 podcast, uh, like a week or two ago, I think a Friday field notes. I'm actually going to pull it
00:36:34.540 up because I, I, I thought a lot about what it was and I'll tell you what the five were.
00:36:44.240 I should just be able to know them, but at the same time, I put a lot of thought into like, what,
00:36:48.180 what have I learned about myself through this? Uh, let's see. What the heck? Where is it?
00:36:55.460 What five months of sobriety has taught me. So these are like eight, nine things here. Um,
00:37:03.620 number one is that I realized that you reach rock bottom when you stop digging the hole,
00:37:09.880 like, you know, people will say, Oh, I've hit rock bottom, but then they continue in that behavior.
00:37:15.200 And it's like, well, then you haven't reached rock bottom because it's going to get worse.
00:37:19.340 Yeah. So when you change the behavior, that's rock bottom. And I'm not saying that it's easy.
00:37:24.580 You're always going to be comfortable even climbing yourself out, but you've got to stop
00:37:27.720 digging first. And that, that's what I'm trying to do. Uh, number two, I have a lot of emotional
00:37:34.280 baggage that I was not aware of. And a lot of that stemmed from my childhood and some resentment.
00:37:42.780 So I've been working through that. Uh, number three, I'm pretty good at hiding this behavior,
00:37:50.000 which I need to be aware of because I can deceive myself and others fairly well.
00:37:56.140 Good at it. No, I'm good at it. You know? And, and so I need to be careful of that because it's
00:38:00.920 easy to pull the wool over my eyes and say, Oh no, no, you're good. You're good. And then
00:38:05.760 something happens externally and you're like, Oh shoot, I'm not good. Uh, I just buried that for a
00:38:11.320 while. I wish I would have recognized it earlier because then I could have done something about it
00:38:16.200 earlier. So I got, I got to be careful with that. Uh, number four, I am, well, this one sounds
00:38:23.180 narcissistic, but it's true. I'm, I'm actually pretty incredible. Like I know that sounds
00:38:30.000 narcissistic, but I was pretty high functioning as, as an alcoholic. Uh, but I kept recaptured three to
00:38:37.060 four hours every single day. And immediately as I recaptured that three to four hours, I mean,
00:38:41.860 you should have seen the production at home and in the business. And so I'm pretty incredible.
00:38:48.740 Again, I know that sounds so narcissistic, but I think it's important to know like, Hey,
00:38:53.720 you know, you're pretty good. Imagine what you can do with all that untapped potential.
00:38:59.420 Uh, number five, alcohol does not make me a better person or a better anything. Cause that's one of the
00:39:06.040 lies I used to tell myself. I used to tell myself I do podcast drunk and I used to tell myself,
00:39:11.440 go ahead. Well, I was just going to probably ask what you're about to say. Like, how, how do you
00:39:16.120 feel like it made you better in some way? Uh, in pot, when it came to podcasting,
00:39:21.740 I felt like it loosened me up and then I could ask different questions that maybe I wouldn't
00:39:26.920 normally ask a social, like really like, yeah, the, the, the typical thing that teenagers use,
00:39:32.100 right. It's like, Oh, well, you know, I'll drink because I I'm more enjoyable to be around at a
00:39:37.600 party or I'll be willing to talk to people where I normally would be shy or whatever.
00:39:42.300 And I would even do that with my family because I tend to be a pretty high, strong person.
00:39:46.860 And I know that can be overwhelming for people at times, including my wife and kids. And I thought
00:39:52.460 that drinking would loosen me up. And sometimes it did a little too much. And other times I thought it
00:40:01.840 was, but I was actually just wrecking, wreaking havoc in my, my relationship with my wife and my
00:40:07.120 kids, but I thought I was being fun and it wasn't fun for anybody, but me. So, um, here's one that
00:40:15.380 was really surprising. Number six is that people appreciate transparent leadership. So when I came
00:40:21.340 out with this information, specifically in the iron council, I thought we were going to have mass
00:40:25.860 exodus fallout, people were going to be pissed and people had a right that they had a right to be
00:40:30.760 that way actually. Totally. And that didn't happen at all. I had a couple people, Lee, you know, a
00:40:38.760 little, very little. In fact, one of those person, people who left actually reached back out to me.
00:40:45.520 They're back in the iron council. I'd reached back out to me and they apologized. They had some
00:40:50.360 experiences with alcohol in their young life with somebody else. You triggered them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:58.160 And completely understandable. So I thought people were going to leave, but in fact, if anything,
00:41:04.860 it's, it's made me a better leader and it's connected me to people on a deeper level because
00:41:12.140 they see that I'm a human being and that I have my own faults. Uh, number seven, trust is easy to
00:41:19.040 destroy and very difficult to rebuild. That's not a surprise. I'm just in the midst of it right now.
00:41:25.380 It's very easy to destroy and hard to rebuild. Uh, number eight, your course of action will change
00:41:31.840 when the pain of the current reality that you put yourself in is greater than the struggle of the
00:41:40.720 change. So let me read that again, because I want to be really clear on that. Your course of action
00:41:46.340 will change when the pain of the current reality is greater than the struggle of the change.
00:41:56.180 So the pain I experienced by hurting people became so great. And, and I became so aware of the change.
00:42:04.740 It was, it was, it was now easier for me to change than it was to continue to go through that.
00:42:12.420 Yeah. And then the last one is number nine, that I've allowed the spirit of God back into my life.
00:42:19.720 I've, I've always been spiritual is not the right word. I've always been aware of God,
00:42:26.180 but I've, I've, I'm, I'm slowly, that was hindering it. Yes. And I'm, it's a barrier, right? It's just a
00:42:33.340 wall. And I'm deliberately and intentionally trying to bring that back into my life in a lot of ways
00:42:39.580 for the first time. So those are, those are some things that's a podcast I did. Uh, that one came
00:42:45.560 out January 6th. So about what's that three weeks ago or so. Yeah. Estevan Ortiz, Ryan,
00:42:53.780 I've seen or heard of some of the other sources around the internet that promote help to promote
00:43:00.420 to help young men. I'm not talking about Jordan Peterson or David Goggins or any, anyone that you've
00:43:06.280 usually promoted. I'm talking about influence influencers, like on YouTube that promote red
00:43:12.180 pilling advice on women. And if they're for the streets or not, there's Andrew tape. That's very
00:43:18.620 controversial amongst the internet lately with some of the things that he says about a man as well.
00:43:23.780 There just seems to be a lot of sources now that promote to help young men. And some take on the
00:43:29.700 whole thing can be pretty extreme that, that I think will possibly hinder young men instead of
00:43:35.980 helping them grow. So just would you would, so I would just like to hear your take on it all due to
00:43:43.260 you being more relatable in the sense of having more traditional things like a wife and family.
00:43:48.300 Thank you in advance for what you do love the podcast and the advice that you give. So kind of
00:43:54.160 the, the original question is really sources are on the internet around promoting, helping young men
00:43:59.960 because right now, right. Everything's kind of what we're talking about or red pilling and that it kind
00:44:05.140 of stops there. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's pros and cons of the whole red pill idea. I think it wakes
00:44:11.560 us up to the reality of, of life, you know, the way, sure. And the way that women think, I think
00:44:18.720 there's some, some valuable information there, the way women behave and think and act. You got to take
00:44:24.660 it with a grain of salt because it's so broad and generalized and sweeping that it just doesn't
00:44:29.760 apply to all women. You know, that talks about all women are promiscuous, which isn't true.
00:44:33.960 Um, it does suggest that women are hypergamous, which I agree that they'll measure, they'll let
00:44:39.900 they'll, they'll marry or partner up. I agree with that. Men will, men are willing to partner across
00:44:46.040 and down. Women are willing to partner across and up. Like I agree with that. So, so what does that
00:44:51.060 teach us? Well, does that mean women are bitches? No, it means you should be able to add value to the
00:44:56.360 woman that you want in your life. So level up. You better level up. Yeah. That's what I get. That's what
00:45:00.720 I gleaned from it anyways, you know, but I think there's a big part of the red pill movement that
00:45:05.640 says, well, no, you don't have to level up. Those bitches need to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's
00:45:09.340 like, yeah. Okay. Well, how are you going to change approach to this? Yeah. And that's exactly what I
00:45:15.540 wrote right here that I take notes on this stuff and I haven't read these, these comments, but I wrote
00:45:20.400 right there as you were reading that question, I wrote red pill promotes victimhood, red pill taken to
00:45:25.860 the extreme. I'll say promotes victimhood. Women are this way. World is this way. They're out to
00:45:31.760 get us. There's no good people. Marriage is this, this is that, and there's nothing you can do about
00:45:37.320 it. And everybody is your enemy. And I don't agree with that. I don't agree with anything that paints
00:45:43.400 me as a perpetual victim. Now there's a difference between being a victim, I think, and maybe it's just
00:45:48.520 semantics. So bear with me being a victim and then being victimized. I know that there's situations
00:45:54.000 where people are victimized. That's an act of aggression or violence or manipulation against
00:46:01.040 another person. But being a perpetual victim is just blaming everything and every external
00:46:06.700 circumstances and things that aren't even relatable to your situation as to why you're such a loser in
00:46:12.280 life. That I don't agree with. You are not a loser. You are not a victim. Not all women are out to get
00:46:19.320 you. The world is not a horrible place. And if you feel like it is, it's probably more an indication
00:46:24.580 of the way that you show up rather than the way women or other people show up. I love women. I think
00:46:29.460 that there are some phenomenal women. I think there's some evil women, just like men. But I think
00:46:34.220 there's some phenomenal women who would love to be in a relationship with a man who adds value and
00:46:38.840 contributes to society and has a mission and has purpose and is actively looking for those men.
00:46:44.440 A hundred percent. Cause I hear from them. I get messages from these women who want men like that.
00:46:51.340 So other resources, ideas, maybe even books for order of man is a great resource.
00:46:57.920 Like you're, you're in it, man. Dive fully in. Like if you believe in what we're doing,
00:47:02.860 ask yourself, what more could I be doing with, with regards to this movement? Are you in the iron
00:47:07.180 council? No, maybe, I don't know, but let's assume you're not. Well, there's an avenue.
00:47:12.200 Have you read sovereignty? There's a book. Have you read masculinity manifesto? There's a book.
00:47:16.800 Have you been to one of our events? There's a resource. Yeah. Legacy event with boys. Yeah.
00:47:22.140 You're, you're part of it, man. So dive all the way in. And I'm not saying ours is the only
00:47:27.080 art of manliness. That's a great resource. I would say that's really good for
00:47:31.160 practical life tools and things, you know, planning practical, like things around your
00:47:42.180 house, skillsets, stuff like that. Very good resource, art of manliness.
00:47:46.960 And, and this is tough too, because like, I think sometimes, I mean, guys do it with us.
00:47:52.540 It's all or none. Right. And if Ryan's not right all the time, then it's not a good resource.
00:47:58.660 Right. Like I, surprisingly enough, I get messages and I had this guy message me online saying,
00:48:05.680 Kip, the fact that you swear, I've lost all respect for you. I'm done listening to order,
00:48:10.560 man. What a ridiculous thing. And I'm like, Hey, first off, I like the feedback,
00:48:15.680 but like, I've lost all respect for you. I'm like, that seems extreme in my mind, but it reiterated the
00:48:21.880 thought process that we have a tendency to go, well, there's only knowledge. And if it's, and the
00:48:27.260 knowledge is only good. If all of it's like perfect, right. Rational mail. Great book. Do I agree with all of
00:48:33.080 it? No. The boy crisis. Great book. Do I agree with all of it? No, right. There's nuggets in
00:48:40.520 knowledge in all things. And we need to be mature and we need to realize that there's avenues of
00:48:46.880 knowledge that we can latch on and grow and learn from, but it may not all be quote unquote, perfect
00:48:53.020 either. Right. And, and that's actually how I feel a hundred percent. Yeah. That actually includes
00:49:00.100 Andrew Tate as well. I like, cause you, I think, did he mention Andrew Tate? I don't know if he
00:49:04.400 did. I like what the guy has to share a lot of the time. He has some good stuff sometimes.
00:49:09.540 Like that's true. Like I listened, I'm like, Whoa, yeah. Great point. And then also I listened,
00:49:14.340 I'm like, that guy's an idiot. So he's both, he's not God's gift to young men or ladies. And he's also
00:49:23.420 not Satan. Like he's, he's just a man who has, has some life experience that are, that is different
00:49:32.100 than mine. That is different than yours. And he sees some things through a lens that I hadn't
00:49:37.560 thought of that. I'm like, that's interesting. And then he sees some other things. I'm like,
00:49:40.420 that's not interesting or it is, but in all the wrong ways, just like me. So, yeah. And it's a
00:49:46.200 perfect example, Ryan, I'm sure if we went back 10 years and you were preaching what was right
00:49:53.180 based upon your paradigm of 10 years ago, and you look back at something you said, you'd be like,
00:49:58.360 yeah, I don't agree with that anymore. Because in that area of your life, that was true. That was
00:50:04.820 the best advice and you've grown, evolved. And guess what? It's probably not anymore. No different.
00:50:12.220 And, and, and that's where I have some empathy, right? Because I see even Tate and I go,
00:50:16.200 man, this guy's crazy, but I'm like, but it's where he's at. Give him 10 years and he'll probably
00:50:21.580 look back at some of the things he said and think, yeah, that was stupid. That's actually not, you
00:50:26.720 know, one of the problems is that the internet's not going to let you forget. So if Andrew Tate or
00:50:32.540 me or anybody else says something, and then five years later, I say something at odds with what I
00:50:37.940 just said, people will go back and like, well, five years ago, you believe this. Yeah. Five years ago,
00:50:43.100 I was a different man than I am right now. And if I think a hundred percent the same as I did five
00:50:49.360 years previously, what in the world have I been doing in the last five years? Totally. If like,
00:50:56.660 so what I'm supposed to have the same perception of the world as when I was eight years old,
00:51:03.620 according to your logic, that's asinine. You should be changing constantly. Your perception of the world
00:51:10.680 should be changing as you're listening to this podcast in real time. And I'm not saying that
00:51:15.140 everything is going to be different because I said it, but now you have a new input that changes the
00:51:20.480 equation. Yeah. Right. When I read a book, my life changes not drastically, but I read it. I'm like,
00:51:28.840 oh yeah, Nietzsche, you know, I never considered that before. That's interesting. Do I agree with
00:51:33.560 everything? No, but that's interesting. Can I apply that? Yeah, I can. And then I try to apply it in my
00:51:37.860 life or I hear something and I'm like, you know, I don't, I don't agree with that. I don't like that.
00:51:42.140 So then I don't apply it, but it's still in my head and I'm still thinking about it. And I'm still
00:51:46.360 making decisions based on that information. All right. Two questions, rapid fire. Cause I know
00:51:51.660 we have to wrap up. Levi Brickley, as a single man, 28 years old with no kids, never married,
00:51:58.600 what would be your advice on how to prepare for a family and the right woman?
00:52:02.380 I would focus on some key areas. So I would focus on my, and these aren't in order necessarily.
00:52:11.400 And by the way, this is the same for married men too. So it actually works out pretty well.
00:52:15.720 Don't stop doing these things Levi after you get married, because these are the reasons why you got
00:52:20.360 married. Right. Number one, I would focus on my physical health. So I would be at the gym every day
00:52:27.620 or training jujitsu or whatever. I don't care. Maybe it's running marathons, hiking, rucking,
00:52:33.320 whatever your thing is cycling, not soccer, but everything else is okay. So your physical health
00:52:40.460 nutrition obviously falls into that. So we have physical. Um, I would also work on mental. Uh,
00:52:47.080 and the way that I would work on mental is I would do things that are difficult and they might be
00:52:51.420 physically related, like going to run a Spartan race, for example, that's physically related,
00:52:55.020 but it's mental toughness and fortitude, but it might, might also be something that you're afraid
00:52:59.120 of like, um, public speaking. Maybe you're really afraid of public speaking. And so you find a couple
00:53:04.020 opportunities to go speak in public. Maybe you're afraid of confrontation. And so, uh, you decide to
00:53:10.180 have a difficult conversation with a parent or a friend that you've needed to have for a couple of
00:53:14.980 years, or it might even be as simple as just asking for discounts everywhere you go, because you
00:53:19.980 don't like, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. And so you go do it and you force yourself into being a
00:53:24.880 little bit more mentally resilient. So you have physical, mental, emotional, really dial in your
00:53:31.900 emotional wellbeing. And the best way that I've found to do that is to work with a therapist,
00:53:36.660 uh, and, or not, or, and journal. So when you're feeling away, happy, glad, mad, sad, angry, whatever,
00:53:45.020 that you start documenting this and not just documenting how you feel, but why you feel it and where it comes
00:53:50.400 from. So I'm mad because Kip didn't show up on time. And because Kip, why, so why does that make
00:53:55.560 me mad? Because I feel disrespected. You were, yes, you were. So, but let's, in this hypothetical
00:54:01.720 world, you were early today. So let's say, uh, you're late and I'm mad. Okay. Why, why does that
00:54:13.600 make you mad? Well, I feel disrespected. Yeah. Okay. Well now I feel disrespected, but why do I
00:54:19.000 feel disrespected? Oh, because of this experience that I had in the past. So like you start to
00:54:23.760 uncover it. Right. And then you can deal with it appropriately. So if I'm angry and I should be a
00:54:29.460 little upset about that, if we agreed to it, like the expectation conversation, then I should tell you
00:54:35.340 that like, Hey Kip, I'm here on time. I need you to be here on time. Cause I have a schedule and I
00:54:40.820 respect my calendar and I respect yours. So I need you to respect mine too. Fair enough. Done.
00:54:46.440 That goes back to the mental toughness. Cause now we're talking about confrontation.
00:54:50.640 Um, spiritual get right, get right spiritually with God, with the universe, with a higher power,
00:54:57.340 whatever you want to call it. I don't like all that other stuff. Everybody talks about God.
00:55:00.860 They just call them something different. The people who talk about the universe and the muse,
00:55:04.180 they're talking about God, but for whatever reason, they're like, God, I can't say God,
00:55:08.480 the universe is going to help me. No, God is going to help you. But if it makes you feel better to
00:55:14.740 call it the universe, that's fine. Power, but it's, it's God. So happen to that. What, like,
00:55:21.860 what is my purpose here? What is his plan for me? What am I supposed to be doing? I'm divine. Like,
00:55:27.480 how am I supposed to be showing up? How do I manifest it? How do I get closer to being that kind of
00:55:31.920 person? And then the last is financial, get your financial affairs in order, get your money, right?
00:55:40.000 Get your, get out of debt, start learning how to make more money, more income. Cause that means
00:55:44.240 you're adding more value and you start dialing this stuff in. You're going to be a magnet to women.
00:55:52.020 And you got to be careful with that. Cause you're going to attract all sorts of women.
00:55:57.060 Cause what do women do? They partner up, partner up. So that's okay. It's okay that they partner up.
00:56:05.860 Just make sure that disparity is not too great. Cause it, cause it could be very tempting when
00:56:12.020 you're a high value man to find a low value woman. Cause she's giving you attention. But if you're doing
00:56:17.080 all those high value man type activities, high value women are also going to find you attractive.
00:56:21.560 So just be selective and be careful with that. Like it, Michael Graham. How do we save our young
00:56:29.360 men and sons? And can you paint the picture of the world we live in? If we don't.
00:56:37.480 A rap rapid fire for sure. Yeah, I know. Yeah. That's a quick question for one minute.
00:56:42.840 Can we, can we revisit that? I do have to jet. Cause I want to be respectful of my next guest
00:56:47.840 time. Can we revisit that one? Yeah. I, I, there's a lot to do there. So we'll question
00:56:53.600 number one next, next week. Yeah. Put a, put a, put a marker on that one. Cause that's a good
00:56:58.460 question. And I have, I think I have some good answers. So let's, let's hit that one first next
00:57:03.640 week. Okay. Excellent. All right, gentlemen, you heard it. We got questions today from our Facebook
00:57:09.360 group. Join us there. Facebook.com slash group slash order of man. And join us at order of man.com
00:57:17.020 for all other things, whether that's, you know, getting your swag from the store or learning more
00:57:22.340 about the podcast or the iron council or connecting with us on social media and YouTube. As always,
00:57:29.380 you can follow Mr. Mickler on the social media, Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler.
00:57:34.760 That's it. All right, guys. Great questions today. Hopefully, hopefully we gave you something
00:57:38.320 to think about and we will be back on Friday until then go out there, take action, become
00:57:43.880 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're
00:57:48.300 ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite
00:57:52.500 you to join the order at order of man.com.