Order of Man - Check Your Hormones, Where 'Red Pill' Goes Wrong, and How to Attract Women ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.920 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.260 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:16.940 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.420 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up, brother? It's great to see you after

00:00:27.400 a two-week hiatus. I'm looking a little darker than you, which is not usually the case.

00:00:33.100 I noticed a little tan. All the Mainers are going to lose their mind with someone with a slight tan

00:00:39.300 hanging around. The Mainers call anybody from out of state or from another area. You're either a

00:00:46.560 flatlander or you're from away. With the golden glow I have going on right now, they will definitely

00:00:53.280 know that I am from away, especially in the midst of the snowstorm we're dealing with today.

00:00:57.440 What's a flatlander? What's that? I don't even know why they call it that because I was...

00:01:04.040 Because Main's kind of flat. Flat relative to Utah, which is where I am.

00:01:09.240 Yeah. Interesting. Maybe they're like, what is it on Dumb and Dumber? I thought the Rockies

00:01:16.200 would be a little bit more rocky than this. That John Denver is full of shit, man. 1.00

00:01:19.860 Oh, that's a good show. I need to bring that up through the archives. 1.00

00:01:26.680 Yeah. It's a great show. So yeah, we've been trying to introduce our kids to some various

00:01:32.260 classics and Dumb and Dumber was definitely on that list, including Wayne's World. That

00:01:36.380 was on the list. And then there's some other more serious ones like Braveheart. We watched

00:01:42.060 not too long ago together. Gladiator. What else? Legends of the Falls, a great movie. I don't

00:01:48.880 know if they've watched that one yet, but yeah, we try to introduce them to some of these really

00:01:52.400 good ones. We did the same thing and we grabbed some childhood favorite movies that we liked.

00:01:58.780 And then we're like, man, this is inappropriate, right? I was like, why would my parents let

00:02:04.480 me watch these shows? It was really funny. Yeah. We were watching Shrek the other day

00:02:09.460 and noticed how much sexual innuendo was in that. Totally.

00:02:14.660 But if you got to ask... It's an adult cartoon. Kids have no idea.

00:02:18.480 That's right. Yeah. And that's the thing. Is it really inappropriate for kids if they don't

00:02:22.340 get it? Maybe not. I think it's just deployed to make sure that the parents are somewhat

00:02:26.980 entertained because they're the ones paying for the movie tickets to get their kids there. So if

00:02:30.920 it's not entertaining for the adults, the adults are like, screw that. I'm not going to that.

00:02:35.640 Totally. I love watching Shrek. I think it's funny. What's the childhood story where the kids

00:02:41.040 find a shipwreck and it's like in the mountain. Do you know what I'm talking about?

00:02:44.740 Oh, that's good. Are you talking about Goonies?

00:02:46.540 Goonies. Yeah.

00:02:47.340 Yeah. I love Goonies.

00:02:49.040 How do you forget Goonies?

00:02:50.160 I know. I don't know why I forgot the title, but I love Goonies and we were watching that

00:02:54.080 with our kids. They're cursing the whole time. I'm like, oh yeah. No cursing, but I'm like,

00:02:59.360 this is a great show. And they're like, you're parents that you watch this?

00:03:02.800 We watch occasionally old Looney Tunes or you know what is the worst, the worst movie? Pinocchio.

00:03:10.420 Pinocchio. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, I remember when I was a kid, I was scared of Pinocchio. Number

00:03:16.360 one, that movie was scary. Eaten by the whale. And then he gets kidnapped by, I think a fox and

00:03:21.760 a bear, if I remember right. And then they get taken to this groomer Island where they're grooming

00:03:26.760 all these little boys and they call them jackasses. They're literally turning them into donkeys. 0.99

00:03:32.120 And then they're all, they're all smoking. I'm like, this is a horrible, horrible show. 0.98

00:03:36.200 They're trapped. Pinocchio is trapped in a cage with these two pedophiles. Like this is a horrible, 0.99

00:03:41.140 horrible show. Oh, weird. That's Disney's intro into woke ideology. I suppose.

00:03:48.460 Oh my gosh. Land before time. No, no. Never ending story. I watched that like a couple of years ago.

00:03:54.660 The worst movie of all time. I loved it as a kid, as an adult, it is miserable. I just remember that 0.65

00:04:01.620 white dragon. I think it was that he flies on if I remember. Flying dog.

00:04:06.200 It's flying dog. That's what it is. Yeah. All right. Well guys, maybe, uh, maybe what you can

00:04:12.080 do is you could submit your favorite childhood movies and then we could come up with some sort

00:04:17.940 of archive to introduce our children to Pinocchio will not be on the list. Neither will never

00:04:22.100 ever be a child approved movies for order of man. That's right. That's right. All right. All right,

00:04:27.220 brother. Let's get into it today. Yeah. We're going to fill the questions from our Facebook group.

00:04:31.260 That's facebook.com slash group slash order, man. Join us there. Paul beam expectations.

00:04:37.740 I don't understand how we can have standards, but no expectations.

00:04:44.680 Well, I don't, I'm not sure that no expectations is, is appropriate. I may have said that in the past.

00:04:51.700 So let me, let me give some nuance to that. If you're going to have expectations for certain

00:04:57.700 people, then they have to be stated and agreed upon. It's, it's not, we've talked a lot about

00:05:04.060 covert contracts. So for example, if you expect your wife to do certain things around the house 0.84

00:05:11.280 or to behave a certain way or to respond to you a certain way, and yet you haven't communicated that

00:05:17.080 clearly to her and she hasn't agreed upon that expectation, that's where I would say, no, you

00:05:22.360 shouldn't have that expectation because you haven't been fair to the other party. But Kip, if you and I

00:05:29.200 are in a business agreement and we are in this context, we're friends, but in this context, a

00:05:34.520 business agreement, then there are some expectations that I have of you. And I've communicated those

00:05:39.920 expectations and you've communicated your expectations to me. And if either one of us fail to meet those

00:05:44.740 expectations, it's not a surprise of what those are. And of course there's going to be consequences

00:05:50.600 to that. So we have standards about the way that we perform. We have standards about the way that we

00:05:55.080 show up and what we do and how we communicate. And here's the, the, the set expectation and it is what

00:06:00.660 it is. Now there's other people that I don't think we should have expectations of that. We just don't

00:06:08.220 have the right to have expectations of, you know, like I don't expect people. Uh, what are the things I've

00:06:14.600 been doing over the past, I would say two months, really, really hard is hitting the gym very heavily.

00:06:21.340 And I don't have any expectations about my friends should go to the gym. Or if I go to the gym, then the

00:06:28.200 people there should do workouts the way that I approve or deem appropriate. It's not really my place to have

00:06:33.880 an expectation of them. All that I can worry about is my own personal expectation and agreements with myself

00:06:39.460 and the standard I hold myself to. I'll give you an example. I was doing some reps this morning.

00:06:45.460 I can't, I can't remember what it was. Maybe it was some weighted, you know, front squats or something.

00:06:50.640 I can't remember. And I was doing these reps and I lost track. I was supposed to do 12 of them and I

00:06:55.680 lost track of them. And I could have just finished up and say, yeah, I think I got 10, but I did two more.

00:07:02.820 Just maybe I did more. I don't really know. I lost track, but I know for sure I hit my,

00:07:07.080 what I was supposed to hit, I probably did a little bit more, but I'd rather do that than

00:07:11.400 not do enough. And would anybody catch me on that? Is there anybody in the gym to critique that? Is

00:07:16.820 Johnny Loretty, who's my fitness trainer and nutritionist, would he, would he know about that?

00:07:21.920 No, but I do. And so I'm really, really working hard to hold myself to my own personal standard.

00:07:28.760 So I hope that answers the question, but yeah, there are people that you should have expectations.

00:07:32.560 I have expectations of my children. I have expectations of you. I have expectations of my wife.

00:07:36.880 I have expectations of other business partners and all of that is communicated clearly. And if I

00:07:42.340 don't, then I have no right to be upset when they fail to meet my covert contract that I've created

00:07:48.440 in my mind and not shared with them. Totally. One resource on this that's super great that I think

00:07:54.620 he's done an amazing job and he's been on the podcast, John Gary Bishop. He has an entire section

00:08:00.660 of his book, I think around just expectations and, and he latches onto the area that not on the

00:08:08.020 communication, you know, which I totally agree with, but eventually, right. There becomes a time

00:08:13.280 where we had expectations. Maybe there were people outside of our realm of control. We have expectations

00:08:18.260 around how the government is, but we're not in a position necessarily to communicate those

00:08:23.180 expectations per se, or maybe we do communicate and, and those expectations aren't met. His premise

00:08:30.180 is learn to let go of them. So you can deal in reality because sometimes we have expectations

00:08:36.020 of the way things should go and we, and we won't let go of it because well, Ryan, I shouldn't have to.

00:08:43.020 Right. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this in my life. It's I have, and I won't let go of the

00:08:48.360 expectation. I shouldn't have to deal with these struggles. I shouldn't, it shouldn't be this

00:08:52.780 difficult and we'll hold onto it so much that we don't deal in reality. And, and so I totally agree

00:09:00.040 have expectations, but also learn to let go of them and deal with what is so. And, and sometimes our

00:09:07.380 expectations, we have all, I don't know, there's so much, I don't know if it's ego or the desire to

00:09:12.680 want to be right, but sometimes we'll just hold onto them and not deal with reality.

00:09:16.720 Yeah. Well, and I think you brought up a key phrase should not. So it's, you know,

00:09:22.400 that you have expectations of people, whether it's healthy or unhealthy, you know, you're dealing in

00:09:27.860 expectations when you say should and should not about other people. Kip should do this. My wife

00:09:33.680 should do that. My kids should not do this. That those are expectations that you have. And again,

00:09:38.880 sometimes that's appropriate. My kids should not backtalk their mother. They know that that's an

00:09:45.040 expectation. And so we talk about that. And then here, here's something. If I see another kid

00:09:50.920 backtalking his mom, well, he shouldn't do that. What? Like, why would I have that expectation of

00:09:57.700 that other child? I've noticed that as I've tried to let go of this need to control, I think that's

00:10:03.020 where it comes from. Life has just got better. I'm happier. I'm more carefree. I can focus on more

00:10:08.360 important matters because I'm not worried about what that kid who I have nothing to do with should

00:10:12.560 and should not do. Yeah. And see, even here, it applies in order of man. Look, I can tell you

00:10:17.720 guys, a man should, a man should not, a man should do this. A man should do that. Look, I have my own

00:10:21.440 shoulds and should nots that I need to work on clearly. Yeah, totally. And I communicate this

00:10:26.060 stuff to you guys. But at the end of the day, like if you come to me and you're like, well, Ryan,

00:10:29.740 you know, you said this, but I don't do that. I don't care. It's not my expectation that you do it

00:10:34.400 the exact same way as me. All that I want to do is share some victories, share some, some setbacks,

00:10:39.520 and hopefully it inspires you to live a more meaningful life, but it's your obligation to

00:10:44.180 take what works and leave what doesn't and run it through your own filter in your own life.

00:10:49.320 I really don't have an expectation as to whether or not you do something that I suggest. It doesn't

00:10:54.020 matter to me. Yeah. And I just wanted to point out, there's some serious things in life that,

00:10:58.680 that this shows up in, right? If we're dealing with death or, or disease or an unhealthy family

00:11:06.120 member, sometimes we'll latch onto those and say, I have this expectation. I shouldn't have to deal

00:11:10.620 with this, right? I, I, I shouldn't have my father pass away or my kids shouldn't have the sickness or

00:11:17.660 these difficulties. Well, but they are. So let it go. Well, and I think that's where, and we're beating

00:11:24.660 a dead horse now, but I think that's where your own expectations come in because that's going to help

00:11:29.900 you navigate those things. So for example, if you have a loved one pass away and you worry about

00:11:36.260 your locus control, which is how you handle yourself, then you're going to be able to navigate

00:11:41.100 that successfully, including helping other people navigate it. Or if you're going through a breakup

00:11:46.340 or a divorce, um, or, uh, a layoff or, or, or economic hardship, you know, there's things beyond

00:11:53.860 your control. And I'm not saying it makes it, well, no, I think I am saying it makes it easier

00:11:59.900 if you focus on your own expectations. So the world could be crumbling around you. And if you say,

00:12:06.180 Hey, you know what, in these dark and, and destructive and challenging times, my expectation

00:12:12.260 or my standard is that I show up like this kind of man. I, I think that is going to help you handle

00:12:17.660 it more easily than if you put it all on your wife or your kids or the economy or the president

00:12:24.560 or something that's completely beyond your control. So put the expectations on your shoulders of how

00:12:29.480 you perform. I think that's a better approach to it. Dallin Michael, what kind of rites of passage

00:12:36.620 can I do with my daughters or is that my wife's job? The sons I have ideas that I feel, um, the sons I

00:12:44.380 have ideas that feel natural, but the girl I'm struggling with. Yeah. I thought a lot about

00:12:50.640 this. I, I actually, I don't think that it needs to be different for your daughter. I really don't.

00:12:56.340 I actually, I've been toying around with the idea that maybe it's more important for your daughter.

00:13:02.440 I'll give you an example, martial arts. I spent some time with a good friend, uh, in Costa Rica over

00:13:08.180 the past week and a half. Uh, his name's Rick trimmer. He's been on the podcast. He's a good friend of

00:13:12.560 mine and he's also so it's back. Yeah. And he, he also, him and his wife happened to be business

00:13:18.160 partners with revitalized, uh, womanhood, which is a very cool program specifically with focused on

00:13:23.640 women, similar to what we're doing here with the order of men. Anyways, the, the reason I bring

00:13:27.220 that his name up is I think he's six, five. He's a very imposing, intimidating figure. And we were

00:13:33.320 talking about safety as he travels him and his family travel extensively. And we, like I said,

00:13:36.880 we were down in Costa Rica and he said, you know, here's some things I don't go to unsafe places,

00:13:40.940 but he said something interesting. He said, you know, people don't mess with me.

00:13:45.500 He's six, five. He, he, he's, he's, he's a fun, loving, happy, friendly jokester.

00:13:52.880 But I would like, if I'm, if I'm trying to victimize somebody, I'm not going to mess with

00:13:57.380 a guy that's six, five skipping that guy, right? Like I'm going to go to the next guy or, or maybe

00:14:02.160 even the woman, right? Yeah. Not the guy at all. Cause I'm looking for the path of least resistance.

00:14:06.520 I'm looking for the easy target. Well, women are easier targets than men. It's just, look, 1.00

00:14:13.900 people are going to say that's misogynistic or that sexist or whatever. It's the reality. Okay.

00:14:17.640 They're smaller. They're, they're easy, easier to, uh, to, to handle if, if needs be, I think

00:14:25.000 generally, I know this might get me into some trouble. Women generally tend to be a little bit 1.00

00:14:29.840 more naive than men do. Generally, the more loving they're, they're less skeptical. Yeah.

00:14:37.140 Right. Totally. So I think if you're talking about martial arts, for example, it might be

00:14:43.400 more important that a woman or, or your daughter in this case learns that than a man, I'm not saying

00:14:50.340 a man shouldn't, I'm saying it might be more important that she does than your son does.

00:14:53.800 Yeah. Or it might be more important that she knows how to change a tire than your son does. 1.00

00:15:00.860 Cause she's the one who's at risk. If her tire blows out on the side of the road and she's all

00:15:06.420 by herself and she's changing her tire on the highway, she's at greater risk than a man is

00:15:11.260 in any, in any circumstance. So I would suggest that all the things that we talk about with rite of

00:15:17.560 passages with hardship and challenge and struggle and adversity. And those things should be introduced

00:15:24.440 to your daughter just as much, if not more so than your sons. The only difference is that when you

00:15:30.060 talk about, is that your wife's job? No, it's not her job to offer rites of passages because women 1.00

00:15:37.140 don't offer hardship in that relationship. That's not their role. That's the man's role. It's your job

00:15:44.800 to introduce hardship and struggle and toil. Think about on a small micro level. When your

00:15:49.680 daughter's learning to ride her bike, she's what, four or five, six years old. She's learning to ride

00:15:53.740 her bike and she falls. What does the mom do? Runs over. Oh, sweetie. Oh, are you okay? Oh,

00:16:01.100 let me brush off the dirt. Let me get the rocks at it. Let me kiss your boo-boo. Let me get you a

00:16:04.720 bandaid. And that's the mom's job. That's not wrong, by the way. It's a nurturing, loving approach to 0.85

00:16:11.820 concern it for her well-being. The man says, hey, dust it off. I know it hurts. I know it's a little

00:16:19.780 bloody. Just wipe it off. Get the gravel out of there and put your helmet back on, right? And

00:16:24.860 you know, get back on the bike and encourage her to push past the fear and the pain. And that's the

00:16:30.600 man's job. So, it's the man's job to offer the rites of passages because it offers hardship.

00:16:36.260 It's your wife's job to make sure that she turns into a fine young woman, a beautiful, lovely woman.

00:16:44.540 She's supposed to be teaching her femininity. She's supposed to teach her how to nurture 1.00

00:16:49.560 and how to nourish and how to support and how to love. That's your wife's job. Your job is to offer 1.00

00:16:56.420 the hardship and the fortitude to get through those challenges. Yeah, I like it. Although I have a hard

00:17:02.060 time, imagine Asia going, oh, it's okay. She's the same as me. We're like, for sure. Get back up, 0.94

00:17:08.160 you pansy. But let's be honest, that's masculine energy. Totally. I mean, that's, and I'm not saying 0.96

00:17:14.120 she's masculine, but that is. But she has masculinity in her, just like we have feminine. Of course. 1.00

00:17:21.020 Of course. Totally. Like it. Tyler Henderson. I work out five, six times a week, drink plenty of

00:17:28.440 water throughout the day. And I'm very intentional about how I eat. Additionally, I get about seven

00:17:33.380 hours of sleep a night on average. Caffeine intake isn't insanely high, but I do drink a cup of coffee

00:17:38.440 in the morning and in the afternoon after lunch. You're making us look bad here, Tyler. That said,

00:17:43.980 I still tend to get pretty tired throughout the day. Any tips on maintaining better energy levels?

00:17:49.360 Maybe some things that I can work well for, or that has worked well for you.

00:17:53.200 Yeah. So I'm going to give you like a physiological answer. Well, I guess you're

00:17:58.680 both physiological, but I'll give you the physiological answer and then I'll give you

00:18:02.240 the mental answer. So let's, so let's just address the physiological first. Go get your

00:18:08.380 hormones checked. Go get your, go get your blood worked up, do a workup, figure out where your 0.98

00:18:13.420 testosterone levels are, figure out how, how that's all regulated so that you can see, you know,

00:18:19.480 your, your testosterone might be critically low. Mine, mine was, mine was in the 200s. It's been a

00:18:24.140 while and I haven't checked it. I don't, I don't take testosterone. I did for a little bit and I

00:18:29.400 might do it in the future. But I, I feel more energetic. I feel I'm getting bigger. I'm leaning

00:18:37.080 out, but I wanted to try it by number ones. I stopped drinking alcohol. That was huge.

00:18:44.320 That fact. I don't know if you drink alcohol, but that was huge. Uh, and I was shocked. Like how

00:18:50.900 completely shocked how quickly I lost weight and my energy levels went up when I stopped drinking.

00:18:57.540 Amazing. So there's that. Uh, but my testosterone was in the two hundreds, but I, but I've done a lot

00:19:04.020 of different things, including diet, exercise, again, stop drinking. And I, I'd be, I need to go get

00:19:08.840 my blood worked up now. Cause I bet it's higher. Cause I feel like I have more energy, more stamina,

00:19:13.340 more focus, more control. So I would definitely say, get your hormones checked. 0.98

00:19:18.440 So that's the physiological, the mental side of it. I would ask yourself, what is my purpose in life?

00:19:28.160 What, what is it that I'm passionate about? What is my purpose? You know, what, what things do I see

00:19:34.500 in life? What are, what are hills that I'm willing to die on? Like what causes am I fighting for?

00:19:39.720 What gets me excited outside of being a, be a husband and my wife, uh, being a father to my

00:19:46.300 children? What is it that really, really drives me? And if you can't answer those questions,

00:19:51.380 we really got to dive deep and figuring out why that's the case. Cause I know a lot of guys and

00:19:56.940 I can see it in their eyes. When I drive by them on the road, they're 50 pounds overweight.

00:20:00.960 They've got, they're sitting in their wife's minivan. They're going to a work, a job that

00:20:06.680 they hate. And you can see the desperation and torment in their eyes. I don't want that for you

00:20:12.040 guys. So I would suggest that there might be some deep work here needed to figure out,

00:20:16.560 are you living and stepping into God's plan and purpose for you? Because if you're not,

00:20:23.200 no wonder you're tired. No wonder you're exhausted. No wonder there's nothing that gets you going

00:20:29.380 to revved up throughout the day. Hormones mentality of purpose. 0.96

00:20:36.280 Jeremy clay, how to stay plugged in. I've had mentors, et cetera, for most of my life,

00:20:41.700 but there are periods of life I unplug and I won't, and I won't say I don't listen to them,

00:20:47.660 but self-thinking wins. And that never goes as good as listening to the council. Any thoughts

00:20:54.280 plugged in to what exactly? Like he's saying self-thinking, but I, I actually think, I believe

00:21:04.300 that self-thinking, which if I don't know what he's saying, but I would say is like intuition,

00:21:10.720 maybe, you know, he's saying, listen to counsel. I'd actually say, listen more to intuition than

00:21:15.180 listen to counsel. I'm not saying don't listen to good, wise, credible counsel, but every time I

00:21:20.720 followed my gut, I, things have gone well. Every time I've deviated from that, things have not gone

00:21:27.320 so well. So at a, at a, at a core, I would say, no, do follow your gut and then figure out from

00:21:34.940 your counsel, how to take action and navigate what your gut is telling you. That that's what I would

00:21:39.520 say. But also read the question one more time. Cause I had one more thought and I took a note,

00:21:45.340 but now I kind of lost track. Read the question one more time for me.

00:21:48.200 And I, I'm, maybe I'm messing up, but it's a little hard to read here. So how to stay unplugged,

00:21:52.960 how to stay plugged in question mark. I have had mentors and et cetera for most of my life,

00:21:58.160 but there are periods of life I unplug and I won't say I don't listen to them, but self-thinking wins

00:22:04.840 and that never goes as good as listening to counsel. Okay. So I, yeah, I think what I'm hearing

00:22:11.340 is that he's getting stuck in his own head and it's negative. It's like, you can't do this.

00:22:17.220 You're not good enough. What makes you think you deserve this? Who are you to dot, dot, dot.

00:22:21.420 Those are all thoughts that all of us have. Yeah. You can entertain them for a minute and then just

00:22:29.220 decide to shut them off. I think about those things every day. When I go through my failures,

00:22:34.780 my setbacks, my challenges, I think to myself, who are you? Who are you to do this? Who are you to tell

00:22:41.520 men how to be men? Who are you to, to, to run this organization? What makes you think you're

00:22:46.300 special? And the reality is, is all of that's true. You know, like, who am I, who am I to tell

00:22:51.640 guys what they should do when I'm keenly aware of my own struggles and my own faults. And I don't

00:22:56.880 entertain those thoughts for long because what I say to myself is who am I not to like, who am I not

00:23:03.000 to share my struggles and my faults? Who am I not to share the things that have worked well for me that

00:23:08.640 might inspire one other man to do something in his life that's going to move them in a positive

00:23:13.500 direction? Or who am I not to hold up a warning sign and say, don't do this. This is what I did

00:23:20.360 and it didn't work. And I suggest that you don't go this route, that you go that route over there.

00:23:26.780 Who am I not to do that? What a shame if I cower and I hide and I slink away into obscurity because

00:23:34.340 I'm so worried about my fragile ego that I can't take my lessons of failure and setback and victory

00:23:41.220 and translate those or gift those to somebody else. Who are you not to do that? So sure,

00:23:48.460 if you want to entertain those thoughts, if you need to let them rumourate in your mind a little

00:23:52.040 bit and bounce around in your mind, give them an expiration date. You know, hey, look, feeling down

00:23:57.880 on the dumps. I'm going to take an hour and I'm going to unplug from my mentors or my emails or

00:24:03.720 whatever. Or I'm going to go on vacation. I'm going to take a three-day vacation or even a staycation.

00:24:09.160 And I'm going to think about this. And then I'm back to work. That stuff expires. I'm not going to

00:24:14.460 sit around and wallow in my own self-pity. And one thing that's worked well for me when I do that

00:24:20.140 is I don't let it just bounce around in my brain. You got to get it out. You got to get it a release

00:24:27.340 valve. And one way you might be able to do that is by journaling. So go ahead and take out a journal

00:24:33.140 and say, I don't feel worthy. I don't feel good about myself. I don't feel successful. Like write

00:24:39.820 all of it down because now you're purging the toxicity from your mind. You got to get it out of

00:24:44.720 your brain and just dump it somewhere. And maybe you just take that piece of paper. And at the end

00:24:50.400 of every day or every gripe session you have, you rip it up, you throw it away, you burn it,

00:24:54.480 you do whatever, but at least it's out of your mind. And don't believe for a second that you're

00:24:59.080 different. The most successful people in the world have these same exact thoughts. You're not

00:25:05.640 different. You're not broken and you're not doing it wrong. We just need to move you to phase

00:25:13.020 B, which is, okay, maybe you aren't good enough right now. Well, what can you do to be better?

00:25:20.360 You know, maybe you aren't a great husband and that sucks to wrestle with. So what are you going 0.99

00:25:26.300 to do about it? Maybe you're 50 pounds overweight and you don't feel confident because you look in

00:25:32.880 the mirror and you can't even see your dick anymore. Okay. Like that sucks. And now, so what 1.00

00:25:39.720 are you, that's phase B, what are you going to do about it? And now you get to work. Cause I'll tell

00:25:45.020 you what, I've never felt bad in the midst of actively working to improve myself. Maybe before,

00:25:50.920 maybe after, but not while I'm actively doing it. I like the idea of just finish the thought.

00:25:59.840 Yes. Finish, finish the thought and come up with a conclusion. So even if you're thinking

00:26:04.880 negative about yourself and you're kind of beating yourself up, okay, deal with it. And then what?

00:26:11.040 So that's how I feel. So what are you going to do about it? Finish the thought. We need to stop

00:26:16.400 being lazy with the thoughts that enter our minds and follow them to a conclusion or determine what

00:26:21.140 the conclusion is or to your point, what's the action? What are you going to do about it?

00:26:25.880 It's, it's when we don't do that, that everyone goes, Oh, you're so negative. It's so bad for you.

00:26:31.260 Yeah. It's only bad if you do something. It's right. It could be really great if you actually

00:26:36.620 have it cause action. So take some action out of it. Yeah. Look, I think, I think guilt and shame

00:26:47.100 and remorse and even a guilty conscience. I think that's healthy. Like everybody says,

00:26:57.880 Oh, you know, you shouldn't feel ashamed. Oh, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Oh, you shouldn't.

00:27:02.640 Why? What, why if you've done some horrible things, why should you not feel ashamed about that?

00:27:10.200 That's, that's, those are, that's God's way of saying, Hey, that's not right. Integrity.

00:27:16.680 Yeah. What you're doing isn't right. Let's say you participate in that. Let's say you step out on

00:27:21.260 your wife and you feel sorrow and grief and remorse about that. Well, yeah. Why shouldn't

00:27:28.860 you feel that way? You dishonored your wife and you failed on a commitment to her. You should feel 0.91

00:27:33.720 bad about that. So then you drive, not, not drives you into pit of despair, but drives you into doing

00:27:41.180 something better. Totally. That's the purpose of it. And, and here's the, if you don't mind me,

00:27:46.820 just psychoanalyze in a little bit, what we do is we'll put a label about who we are.

00:27:52.840 So that way it draws like, and I really think we do it because it means there's nothing for me to do.

00:27:58.320 It's also very lazy. So if I, if I make a mistake and I go to the position of, let's say I'm,

00:28:05.420 I'm overweight. I'm, I'm such a lazy ass, right? If I go to the area of label, 0.99

00:28:11.560 then it's like, well, and that's just who I am. That's just where I am. Yep. Can't do nothing

00:28:16.960 about it. But, but if my messaging is, I have fat, I'm out of shape, then I can have a conclusion of

00:28:24.580 what are you going to do about it? But if I give myself the label, then it's just like,

00:28:29.120 I'm, it's a form of throwing my hands up and there's nothing I can do. And what's unfortunate,

00:28:35.000 and it's really disempowering because now you've taken it to the whole extreme level. You've

00:28:39.500 identified yourself and your self-worth based upon addressing the issue, which would draw action.

00:28:46.140 So just be mindful of kind of those labels that we put on ourselves. It's really a form of washing

00:28:51.100 our hands of responsibility. I think that's true. Well, one example that's specifically accurate in

00:28:57.580 my life is alcoholism. I could very easily say that I'm an alcoholic and I've been to meetings

00:29:06.080 where people have been sober for decades, 20, 25, 30 years, one in particular, 30 years.

00:29:15.440 And she still introduces herself as I'm an alcoholic. No, you're not. Are you susceptible

00:29:22.420 to alcohol in a way that other people are not? Sure. Yeah. I'll give you that. I am like with my

00:29:28.860 mentality and my personality. If you give me a drink, I'm having all the drinks as soon as possible.

00:29:35.140 That is my nature. That is my personality. That is the way my body is made up. Am I an alcoholic?

00:29:42.600 Yes. If I choose to be, or I could say, you know what? I'm not going to do that. I'm going to

00:29:49.240 refrain from that. I'm going to control myself. I'm going to exercise some discipline. So am I

00:29:53.980 susceptible to it in a way that other people are not? Yes. I would say yes, but I'm not going to

00:29:59.960 define myself that way because I have the power to do something about it. What's next?

00:30:04.920 Peter, Peter Zeffo. When does it stop? When does it stop hurting between jujitsu two to three days a

00:30:12.300 week? I was like going negative, right? Between jujitsu two to three days a week, light weightlifting

00:30:19.400 and a daily walking and running regimen. Something hurts all the time at 48 years old. Is this just the

00:30:25.720 cost they're trying to get and stay in shape? I think you're looking at pain as a negative.

00:30:32.640 I will tell you, I always have a low level of pain somewhere.

00:30:38.220 It's my joints or sometimes my hip or my lower back, or I wake up in the morning and I'm like,

00:30:46.120 oh, even now I can, I'm hunched over right now. So even now I can feel myself. I'm like,

00:30:49.780 open yourself up, man. Cause jujitsu is all about like balling up, right? It's like open. Like

00:30:55.540 nobody's trying to attack you right now. Open yourself up. Okay. Open up as something I have

00:31:00.540 to do. And that actually feels pretty good right now as I'm doing it. Um, yeah, but I always have

00:31:05.040 a low level of pain and I like it. Me too. I actually like it. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I'm

00:31:10.900 like, hell yeah. My elbow hurts. Awesome. That's cause I, I did something with it or somebody put me in

00:31:17.800 arm bar and I learned not to be arm barred anymore. Like that's awesome. Or you know what? I held it

00:31:22.120 a little too long, but I escaped, but I maybe should have let go. I'm like, no, like I escaped.

00:31:26.700 I'm good. Right. Or if I get a black eye or a bruise, I'm like, hell yeah, that's awesome.

00:31:32.100 Like I'm keeping the bruise. Cause that means something happened today. Yes. Now I'm not talking

00:31:37.100 about injury. Okay. Injury is different, but there's always a low level when I'm at the gym and I'm like,

00:31:42.520 oh, that hurts. I'm not saying I'm going to get myself injured, but I can feel the difference

00:31:47.040 between stop doing that. Cause you're going to injure yourself or that eighth and ninth and 10th

00:31:51.760 rep is going to be really hard. And your muscles and your body and your mind, you're going to be

00:31:56.020 saying, don't do that. And then keep doing it. And then you have to like shake off your legs or you

00:32:00.400 can barely walk when you get out of the gym. Like hell yeah. I can't make it down the stairs. I love

00:32:05.140 it. Yeah. I did. Yeah. You got to hold onto the handrails and like do dips down the stairs. Cause

00:32:09.700 your legs don't function, bro. That's life, man. That's, that's how it should be. So I will say that if

00:32:15.900 you're in pain or you're injured, that's something different. And maybe you should look at changing up

00:32:22.420 your training. Maybe, maybe you are going a little too hard. I got injured. My pec separated the,

00:32:29.100 the tendons. Um, and I think part of it was, I was being stupid. And I also think another part of it 0.99

00:32:37.740 was that I was exhausted. I was beat down. And, and part of that was because of my unhealthy

00:32:43.900 lifestyle with the drinking, but I was also training like four to six days a week on top

00:32:50.800 of other training. And I was just, I think I was just compromised in addition to being stupid. 0.99

00:32:56.400 So both of those go hand in hand and that's a problem. So if you're in pain and it's causing 0.99

00:33:02.460 diminishing performance, then yes, reevaluate. But if you're in low level pain, good for you, man.

00:33:09.340 That's awesome. You're way better off than 95% of the other guys out there who are always

00:33:15.180 comfortable, but miserable too. Right. Yeah. You use the analogy of, you know, the, the things

00:33:23.380 on our dashboard, right. In our, in our vehicles telling us warnings. And that's how I see it too.

00:33:28.860 Like I, you know, I was doing, um, hack squats the other day. I hate hack squats. I didn't even put

00:33:34.580 plates. I'm the only dude there. What is that? What's a hack squat? It's, it's leaning and it's

00:33:41.020 a sled, but you're standing. Oh, God. Yep. I know what you're talking about. So, and I'll do those

00:33:47.560 hack squats. I don't even put a plate on there. I'm doing 30 reps, hack squats, not a plate. I'm

00:33:53.200 over there screaming like a girl. Cause it is so hard. And, but my point being is I was doing those

00:33:59.860 hack squats and mine. I felt pain underneath my knee, not normal, right? Not that's different.

00:34:05.200 And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, no, no, no, bad, bad call where I go wrong though, is I'll be

00:34:12.820 tempted to go, well, I'm not going to do hack squats. And last week I was like, no, no, I'm not

00:34:18.980 going to do hack squats, but you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go over there in the open

00:34:23.200 area. I'm going to grab a plate, put my heels on that plate. And I'm going to do air squats and maybe

00:34:28.660 throwing 50 to a hundred. It's going to be miserable. They're going to be on fire, but I,

00:34:35.540 I worked around it, right? Just like jujitsu. I want to say go less, but maybe train, change the

00:34:42.400 way you're training, right? Use less aggression, focus on technique, get some movement in running,

00:34:49.800 running. It's the same way I could run and hurt myself. But once I start feeling some pain, I'm like,

00:34:54.540 okay, wait a second. Am I heel striking a lot? How do I change my run? Are my,

00:34:58.640 legs aligned, right? Like use it as signals on the dashboard saying, Hey, you know what? Pull

00:35:04.060 over, get some oil, get some gas, put some windshield washer fluid in your car, pivot and

00:35:10.620 adjust a little bit, but don't stop. Yeah. Good call. Well, it's really your call. I just

00:35:16.720 regurgitated something you said. That's why I liked it so much. Hundreds of times I've heard you share

00:35:21.480 stories. Oh, I know. I like it. He's bringing up the dashboard story again. Here we go.

00:35:26.900 Rolling his eyes. I didn't, I figured I didn't know what hack squats were. And now I know,

00:35:31.220 cause I don't do half-ass shit in the gym. I go heavy and I do five reps. That's right. 0.99

00:35:39.940 Yeah. When you get older, they start, you got high reps. All right.

00:35:42.840 How old are you? 43. Okay. Yeah. So two years older. Okay. So in two years. Okay.

00:35:52.400 All right. Will Trujillo, what is one thing or several things that have surprised you most about

00:35:59.040 your sobriety? Is this a, this is Billy, right? Billy Trujillo from the iron. Okay, cool.

00:36:03.780 Yeah. Is this a will on there? Yeah. He put will, or at least his Facebook says, will I'm assuming he's

00:36:10.660 trying to mix it up on us. Yeah. I thought so too. The one and only Billy, maybe it's not the one and

00:36:16.320 only. Um, all right. What, so what is it? What's the five, what's the most important thing that

00:36:20.980 surprised me or several things that have surprised you? Yeah. About sobriety. Um, I actually did a

00:36:28.100 podcast, uh, like a week or two ago, I think a Friday field notes. I'm actually going to pull it

00:36:34.540 up because I, I, I thought a lot about what it was and I'll tell you what the five were.

00:36:44.240 I should just be able to know them, but at the same time, I put a lot of thought into like, what,

00:36:48.180 what have I learned about myself through this? Uh, let's see. What the heck? Where is it?

00:36:55.460 What five months of sobriety has taught me. So these are like eight, nine things here. Um,

00:37:03.620 number one is that I realized that you reach rock bottom when you stop digging the hole,

00:37:09.880 like, you know, people will say, Oh, I've hit rock bottom, but then they continue in that behavior.

00:37:15.200 And it's like, well, then you haven't reached rock bottom because it's going to get worse.

00:37:19.340 Yeah. So when you change the behavior, that's rock bottom. And I'm not saying that it's easy.

00:37:24.580 You're always going to be comfortable even climbing yourself out, but you've got to stop

00:37:27.720 digging first. And that, that's what I'm trying to do. Uh, number two, I have a lot of emotional

00:37:34.280 baggage that I was not aware of. And a lot of that stemmed from my childhood and some resentment.

00:37:42.780 So I've been working through that. Uh, number three, I'm pretty good at hiding this behavior,

00:37:50.000 which I need to be aware of because I can deceive myself and others fairly well.

00:37:56.140 Good at it. No, I'm good at it. You know? And, and so I need to be careful of that because it's

00:38:00.920 easy to pull the wool over my eyes and say, Oh no, no, you're good. You're good. And then

00:38:05.760 something happens externally and you're like, Oh shoot, I'm not good. Uh, I just buried that for a

00:38:11.320 while. I wish I would have recognized it earlier because then I could have done something about it

00:38:16.200 earlier. So I got, I got to be careful with that. Uh, number four, I am, well, this one sounds

00:38:23.180 narcissistic, but it's true. I'm, I'm actually pretty incredible. Like I know that sounds

00:38:30.000 narcissistic, but I was pretty high functioning as, as an alcoholic. Uh, but I kept recaptured three to

00:38:37.060 four hours every single day. And immediately as I recaptured that three to four hours, I mean,

00:38:41.860 you should have seen the production at home and in the business. And so I'm pretty incredible.

00:38:48.740 Again, I know that sounds so narcissistic, but I think it's important to know like, Hey,

00:38:53.720 you know, you're pretty good. Imagine what you can do with all that untapped potential.

00:38:59.420 Uh, number five, alcohol does not make me a better person or a better anything. Cause that's one of the

00:39:06.040 lies I used to tell myself. I used to tell myself I do podcast drunk and I used to tell myself,

00:39:11.440 go ahead. Well, I was just going to probably ask what you're about to say. Like, how, how do you

00:39:16.120 feel like it made you better in some way? Uh, in pot, when it came to podcasting,

00:39:21.740 I felt like it loosened me up and then I could ask different questions that maybe I wouldn't

00:39:26.920 normally ask a social, like really like, yeah, the, the, the typical thing that teenagers use,

00:39:32.100 right. It's like, Oh, well, you know, I'll drink because I I'm more enjoyable to be around at a

00:39:37.600 party or I'll be willing to talk to people where I normally would be shy or whatever.

00:39:42.300 And I would even do that with my family because I tend to be a pretty high, strong person.

00:39:46.860 And I know that can be overwhelming for people at times, including my wife and kids. And I thought

00:39:52.460 that drinking would loosen me up. And sometimes it did a little too much. And other times I thought it

00:40:01.840 was, but I was actually just wrecking, wreaking havoc in my, my relationship with my wife and my

00:40:07.120 kids, but I thought I was being fun and it wasn't fun for anybody, but me. So, um, here's one that

00:40:15.380 was really surprising. Number six is that people appreciate transparent leadership. So when I came

00:40:21.340 out with this information, specifically in the iron council, I thought we were going to have mass

00:40:25.860 exodus fallout, people were going to be pissed and people had a right that they had a right to be

00:40:30.760 that way actually. Totally. And that didn't happen at all. I had a couple people, Lee, you know, a

00:40:38.760 little, very little. In fact, one of those person, people who left actually reached back out to me.

00:40:45.520 They're back in the iron council. I'd reached back out to me and they apologized. They had some

00:40:50.360 experiences with alcohol in their young life with somebody else. You triggered them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:40:58.160 And completely understandable. So I thought people were going to leave, but in fact, if anything,

00:41:04.860 it's, it's made me a better leader and it's connected me to people on a deeper level because

00:41:12.140 they see that I'm a human being and that I have my own faults. Uh, number seven, trust is easy to

00:41:19.040 destroy and very difficult to rebuild. That's not a surprise. I'm just in the midst of it right now.

00:41:25.380 It's very easy to destroy and hard to rebuild. Uh, number eight, your course of action will change

00:41:31.840 when the pain of the current reality that you put yourself in is greater than the struggle of the

00:41:40.720 change. So let me read that again, because I want to be really clear on that. Your course of action

00:41:46.340 will change when the pain of the current reality is greater than the struggle of the change.

00:41:56.180 So the pain I experienced by hurting people became so great. And, and I became so aware of the change.

00:42:04.740 It was, it was, it was now easier for me to change than it was to continue to go through that.

00:42:12.420 Yeah. And then the last one is number nine, that I've allowed the spirit of God back into my life.

00:42:19.720 I've, I've always been spiritual is not the right word. I've always been aware of God,

00:42:26.180 but I've, I've, I'm, I'm slowly, that was hindering it. Yes. And I'm, it's a barrier, right? It's just a

00:42:33.340 wall. And I'm deliberately and intentionally trying to bring that back into my life in a lot of ways

00:42:39.580 for the first time. So those are, those are some things that's a podcast I did. Uh, that one came

00:42:45.560 out January 6th. So about what's that three weeks ago or so. Yeah. Estevan Ortiz, Ryan,

00:42:53.780 I've seen or heard of some of the other sources around the internet that promote help to promote

00:43:00.420 to help young men. I'm not talking about Jordan Peterson or David Goggins or any, anyone that you've

00:43:06.280 usually promoted. I'm talking about influence influencers, like on YouTube that promote red 0.80

00:43:12.180 pilling advice on women. And if they're for the streets or not, there's Andrew tape. That's very

00:43:18.620 controversial amongst the internet lately with some of the things that he says about a man as well.

00:43:23.780 There just seems to be a lot of sources now that promote to help young men. And some take on the

00:43:29.700 whole thing can be pretty extreme that, that I think will possibly hinder young men instead of

00:43:35.980 helping them grow. So just would you would, so I would just like to hear your take on it all due to

00:43:43.260 you being more relatable in the sense of having more traditional things like a wife and family.

00:43:48.300 Thank you in advance for what you do love the podcast and the advice that you give. So kind of

00:43:54.160 the, the original question is really sources are on the internet around promoting, helping young men

00:43:59.960 because right now, right. Everything's kind of what we're talking about or red pilling and that it kind

00:44:05.140 of stops there. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's pros and cons of the whole red pill idea. I think it wakes

00:44:11.560 us up to the reality of, of life, you know, the way, sure. And the way that women think, I think 0.87

00:44:18.720 there's some, some valuable information there, the way women behave and think and act. You got to take 1.00

00:44:24.660 it with a grain of salt because it's so broad and generalized and sweeping that it just doesn't

00:44:29.760 apply to all women. You know, that talks about all women are promiscuous, which isn't true. 0.77

00:44:33.960 Um, it does suggest that women are hypergamous, which I agree that they'll measure, they'll let 1.00

00:44:39.900 they'll, they'll marry or partner up. I agree with that. Men will, men are willing to partner across

00:44:46.040 and down. Women are willing to partner across and up. Like I agree with that. So, so what does that 0.99

00:44:51.060 teach us? Well, does that mean women are bitches? No, it means you should be able to add value to the 1.00

00:44:56.360 woman that you want in your life. So level up. You better level up. Yeah. That's what I get. That's what 1.00

00:45:00.720 I gleaned from it anyways, you know, but I think there's a big part of the red pill movement that

00:45:05.640 says, well, no, you don't have to level up. Those bitches need to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's 1.00

00:45:09.340 like, yeah. Okay. Well, how are you going to change approach to this? Yeah. And that's exactly what I

00:45:15.540 wrote right here that I take notes on this stuff and I haven't read these, these comments, but I wrote

00:45:20.400 right there as you were reading that question, I wrote red pill promotes victimhood, red pill taken to

00:45:25.860 the extreme. I'll say promotes victimhood. Women are this way. World is this way. They're out to 1.00

00:45:31.760 get us. There's no good people. Marriage is this, this is that, and there's nothing you can do about 0.79

00:45:37.320 it. And everybody is your enemy. And I don't agree with that. I don't agree with anything that paints

00:45:43.400 me as a perpetual victim. Now there's a difference between being a victim, I think, and maybe it's just

00:45:48.520 semantics. So bear with me being a victim and then being victimized. I know that there's situations

00:45:54.000 where people are victimized. That's an act of aggression or violence or manipulation against

00:46:01.040 another person. But being a perpetual victim is just blaming everything and every external

00:46:06.700 circumstances and things that aren't even relatable to your situation as to why you're such a loser in 0.99

00:46:12.280 life. That I don't agree with. You are not a loser. You are not a victim. Not all women are out to get 0.99

00:46:19.320 you. The world is not a horrible place. And if you feel like it is, it's probably more an indication

00:46:24.580 of the way that you show up rather than the way women or other people show up. I love women. I think 1.00

00:46:29.460 that there are some phenomenal women. I think there's some evil women, just like men. But I think 0.52

00:46:34.220 there's some phenomenal women who would love to be in a relationship with a man who adds value and

00:46:38.840 contributes to society and has a mission and has purpose and is actively looking for those men.

00:46:44.440 A hundred percent. Cause I hear from them. I get messages from these women who want men like that. 1.00

00:46:51.340 So other resources, ideas, maybe even books for order of man is a great resource.

00:46:57.920 Like you're, you're in it, man. Dive fully in. Like if you believe in what we're doing,

00:47:02.860 ask yourself, what more could I be doing with, with regards to this movement? Are you in the iron

00:47:07.180 council? No, maybe, I don't know, but let's assume you're not. Well, there's an avenue.

00:47:12.200 Have you read sovereignty? There's a book. Have you read masculinity manifesto? There's a book.

00:47:16.800 Have you been to one of our events? There's a resource. Yeah. Legacy event with boys. Yeah.

00:47:22.140 You're, you're part of it, man. So dive all the way in. And I'm not saying ours is the only

00:47:27.080 art of manliness. That's a great resource. I would say that's really good for

00:47:31.160 practical life tools and things, you know, planning practical, like things around your

00:47:42.180 house, skillsets, stuff like that. Very good resource, art of manliness.

00:47:46.960 And, and this is tough too, because like, I think sometimes, I mean, guys do it with us.

00:47:52.540 It's all or none. Right. And if Ryan's not right all the time, then it's not a good resource.

00:47:58.660 Right. Like I, surprisingly enough, I get messages and I had this guy message me online saying,

00:48:05.680 Kip, the fact that you swear, I've lost all respect for you. I'm done listening to order,

00:48:10.560 man. What a ridiculous thing. And I'm like, Hey, first off, I like the feedback, 0.99

00:48:15.680 but like, I've lost all respect for you. I'm like, that seems extreme in my mind, but it reiterated the

00:48:21.880 thought process that we have a tendency to go, well, there's only knowledge. And if it's, and the

00:48:27.260 knowledge is only good. If all of it's like perfect, right. Rational mail. Great book. Do I agree with all of

00:48:33.080 it? No. The boy crisis. Great book. Do I agree with all of it? No, right. There's nuggets in

00:48:40.520 knowledge in all things. And we need to be mature and we need to realize that there's avenues of

00:48:46.880 knowledge that we can latch on and grow and learn from, but it may not all be quote unquote, perfect

00:48:53.020 either. Right. And, and that's actually how I feel a hundred percent. Yeah. That actually includes

00:49:00.100 Andrew Tate as well. I like, cause you, I think, did he mention Andrew Tate? I don't know if he

00:49:04.400 did. I like what the guy has to share a lot of the time. He has some good stuff sometimes.

00:49:09.540 Like that's true. Like I listened, I'm like, Whoa, yeah. Great point. And then also I listened,

00:49:14.340 I'm like, that guy's an idiot. So he's both, he's not God's gift to young men or ladies. And he's also 1.00

00:49:23.420 not Satan. Like he's, he's just a man who has, has some life experience that are, that is different

00:49:32.100 than mine. That is different than yours. And he sees some things through a lens that I hadn't

00:49:37.560 thought of that. I'm like, that's interesting. And then he sees some other things. I'm like,

00:49:40.420 that's not interesting or it is, but in all the wrong ways, just like me. So, yeah. And it's a

00:49:46.200 perfect example, Ryan, I'm sure if we went back 10 years and you were preaching what was right

00:49:53.180 based upon your paradigm of 10 years ago, and you look back at something you said, you'd be like,

00:49:58.360 yeah, I don't agree with that anymore. Because in that area of your life, that was true. That was

00:50:04.820 the best advice and you've grown, evolved. And guess what? It's probably not anymore. No different.

00:50:12.220 And, and, and that's where I have some empathy, right? Because I see even Tate and I go,

00:50:16.200 man, this guy's crazy, but I'm like, but it's where he's at. Give him 10 years and he'll probably

00:50:21.580 look back at some of the things he said and think, yeah, that was stupid. That's actually not, you 1.00

00:50:26.720 know, one of the problems is that the internet's not going to let you forget. So if Andrew Tate or

00:50:32.540 me or anybody else says something, and then five years later, I say something at odds with what I

00:50:37.940 just said, people will go back and like, well, five years ago, you believe this. Yeah. Five years ago,

00:50:43.100 I was a different man than I am right now. And if I think a hundred percent the same as I did five

00:50:49.360 years previously, what in the world have I been doing in the last five years? Totally. If like,

00:50:56.660 so what I'm supposed to have the same perception of the world as when I was eight years old, 0.98

00:51:03.620 according to your logic, that's asinine. You should be changing constantly. Your perception of the world 0.98

00:51:10.680 should be changing as you're listening to this podcast in real time. And I'm not saying that

00:51:15.140 everything is going to be different because I said it, but now you have a new input that changes the

00:51:20.480 equation. Yeah. Right. When I read a book, my life changes not drastically, but I read it. I'm like,

00:51:28.840 oh yeah, Nietzsche, you know, I never considered that before. That's interesting. Do I agree with

00:51:33.560 everything? No, but that's interesting. Can I apply that? Yeah, I can. And then I try to apply it in my

00:51:37.860 life or I hear something and I'm like, you know, I don't, I don't agree with that. I don't like that.

00:51:42.140 So then I don't apply it, but it's still in my head and I'm still thinking about it. And I'm still

00:51:46.360 making decisions based on that information. All right. Two questions, rapid fire. Cause I know

00:51:51.660 we have to wrap up. Levi Brickley, as a single man, 28 years old with no kids, never married,

00:51:58.600 what would be your advice on how to prepare for a family and the right woman? 0.95

00:52:02.380 I would focus on some key areas. So I would focus on my, and these aren't in order necessarily.

00:52:11.400 And by the way, this is the same for married men too. So it actually works out pretty well.

00:52:15.720 Don't stop doing these things Levi after you get married, because these are the reasons why you got

00:52:20.360 married. Right. Number one, I would focus on my physical health. So I would be at the gym every day

00:52:27.620 or training jujitsu or whatever. I don't care. Maybe it's running marathons, hiking, rucking,

00:52:33.320 whatever your thing is cycling, not soccer, but everything else is okay. So your physical health

00:52:40.460 nutrition obviously falls into that. So we have physical. Um, I would also work on mental. Uh,

00:52:47.080 and the way that I would work on mental is I would do things that are difficult and they might be

00:52:51.420 physically related, like going to run a Spartan race, for example, that's physically related,

00:52:55.020 but it's mental toughness and fortitude, but it might, might also be something that you're afraid

00:52:59.120 of like, um, public speaking. Maybe you're really afraid of public speaking. And so you find a couple

00:53:04.020 opportunities to go speak in public. Maybe you're afraid of confrontation. And so, uh, you decide to

00:53:10.180 have a difficult conversation with a parent or a friend that you've needed to have for a couple of

00:53:14.980 years, or it might even be as simple as just asking for discounts everywhere you go, because you

00:53:19.980 don't like, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. And so you go do it and you force yourself into being a

00:53:24.880 little bit more mentally resilient. So you have physical, mental, emotional, really dial in your

00:53:31.900 emotional wellbeing. And the best way that I've found to do that is to work with a therapist,

00:53:36.660 uh, and, or not, or, and journal. So when you're feeling away, happy, glad, mad, sad, angry, whatever,

00:53:45.020 that you start documenting this and not just documenting how you feel, but why you feel it and where it comes

00:53:50.400 from. So I'm mad because Kip didn't show up on time. And because Kip, why, so why does that make

00:53:55.560 me mad? Because I feel disrespected. You were, yes, you were. So, but let's, in this hypothetical

00:54:01.720 world, you were early today. So let's say, uh, you're late and I'm mad. Okay. Why, why does that

00:54:13.600 make you mad? Well, I feel disrespected. Yeah. Okay. Well now I feel disrespected, but why do I

00:54:19.000 feel disrespected? Oh, because of this experience that I had in the past. So like you start to

00:54:23.760 uncover it. Right. And then you can deal with it appropriately. So if I'm angry and I should be a

00:54:29.460 little upset about that, if we agreed to it, like the expectation conversation, then I should tell you

00:54:35.340 that like, Hey Kip, I'm here on time. I need you to be here on time. Cause I have a schedule and I

00:54:40.820 respect my calendar and I respect yours. So I need you to respect mine too. Fair enough. Done.

00:54:46.440 That goes back to the mental toughness. Cause now we're talking about confrontation.

00:54:50.640 Um, spiritual get right, get right spiritually with God, with the universe, with a higher power,

00:54:57.340 whatever you want to call it. I don't like all that other stuff. Everybody talks about God.

00:55:00.860 They just call them something different. The people who talk about the universe and the muse,

00:55:04.180 they're talking about God, but for whatever reason, they're like, God, I can't say God,

00:55:08.480 the universe is going to help me. No, God is going to help you. But if it makes you feel better to

00:55:14.740 call it the universe, that's fine. Power, but it's, it's God. So happen to that. What, like,

00:55:21.860 what is my purpose here? What is his plan for me? What am I supposed to be doing? I'm divine. Like,

00:55:27.480 how am I supposed to be showing up? How do I manifest it? How do I get closer to being that kind of

00:55:31.920 person? And then the last is financial, get your financial affairs in order, get your money, right?

00:55:40.000 Get your, get out of debt, start learning how to make more money, more income. Cause that means

00:55:44.240 you're adding more value and you start dialing this stuff in. You're going to be a magnet to women. 1.00

00:55:52.020 And you got to be careful with that. Cause you're going to attract all sorts of women. 1.00

00:55:57.060 Cause what do women do? They partner up, partner up. So that's okay. It's okay that they partner up. 1.00

00:56:05.860 Just make sure that disparity is not too great. Cause it, cause it could be very tempting when

00:56:12.020 you're a high value man to find a low value woman. Cause she's giving you attention. But if you're doing 0.54

00:56:17.080 all those high value man type activities, high value women are also going to find you attractive. 1.00

00:56:21.560 So just be selective and be careful with that. Like it, Michael Graham. How do we save our young

00:56:29.360 men and sons? And can you paint the picture of the world we live in? If we don't.

00:56:37.480 A rap rapid fire for sure. Yeah, I know. Yeah. That's a quick question for one minute.

00:56:42.840 Can we, can we revisit that? I do have to jet. Cause I want to be respectful of my next guest

00:56:47.840 time. Can we revisit that one? Yeah. I, I, there's a lot to do there. So we'll question

00:56:53.600 number one next, next week. Yeah. Put a, put a, put a marker on that one. Cause that's a good

00:56:58.460 question. And I have, I think I have some good answers. So let's, let's hit that one first next

00:57:03.640 week. Okay. Excellent. All right, gentlemen, you heard it. We got questions today from our Facebook

00:57:09.360 group. Join us there. Facebook.com slash group slash order of man. And join us at order of man.com

00:57:17.020 for all other things, whether that's, you know, getting your swag from the store or learning more

00:57:22.340 about the podcast or the iron council or connecting with us on social media and YouTube. As always,

00:57:29.380 you can follow Mr. Mickler on the social media, Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

00:57:34.760 That's it. All right, guys. Great questions today. Hopefully, hopefully we gave you something

00:57:38.320 to think about and we will be back on Friday until then go out there, take action, become

00:57:43.880 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're

00:57:48.300 ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite

00:57:52.500 you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - January 25, 2023

Check Your Hormones, Where 'Red Pill' Goes Wrong, and How to Attract Women ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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Order of Man - January 25, 2023

Check Your Hormones, Where &#x27;Red Pill&#x27; Goes Wrong, and How to Attract Women ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Check Your Hormones, Where 'Red Pill' Goes Wrong, and How to Attract Women ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING