Order of Man - Choosing a Career, Combating "Woke" Culture, and Advice for First-Time Fathers

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:17.080 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.500 Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. I am glad you're

00:00:33.080 here, and I don't care how long you've been here with us supporting what we're doing here, or maybe

00:00:38.960 this is your first time listening to the podcast, and if it is, what I want to do is give you the

00:00:42.880 tools and resources and conversations that you need to step up more fully as a man, and a man is

00:00:48.620 a protector. He's a provider. He's a presider. He takes care of himself. He takes care of others,

00:00:53.260 and he adds value where he goes. So if that is your goal, if that is your desire,

00:00:59.720 and you want to be a more effective father, husband, business owner, community leader,

00:01:03.020 then you're in the right place. Now, today, what I'm doing is answering and fielding questions

00:01:07.860 from, these are from Instagram. We mix it up a little bit on where they come from,

00:01:13.340 but these ones in particular are from Instagram. Today, I'm running solo. Normally, I'm here with my

00:01:17.800 co-host, Kip Sorensen. I think if you listened last week, you heard that he, I wasn't on that podcast,

00:01:23.260 he ran solo last week. I'm running a solo this week. That's the benefit of having a partner

00:01:28.660 where we can pick up where the other may leave off. So I'm going to get into it. Actually,

00:01:35.760 one quick announcement before we jump into the rest of this discussion and me answering and

00:01:39.900 fielding these questions. We've got our legacy event, which is our father-son event, and that's

00:01:45.540 taking place on September 23rd through the 26th. That's a two-and-a-half-day event designed to forge

00:01:53.680 tighter and deeper bonds with your son and then ultimately give you as his father the tools and

00:01:59.680 resources and guidance that you need to usher him into manhood. So that's for boys between the ages

00:02:07.060 of eight to 15. Again, September 23rd through the 26th. I got to slow down so I can get those dates

00:02:13.500 out correctly. September 23rd through the 26th. You can go to orderofman.com slash legacy,

00:02:20.060 orderofman.com slash legacy. I believe we have eight spots left. So do that quickly. All right,

00:02:24.720 guys, let's get into these questions. We'll go for about an hour or so until or until I get tired or

00:02:30.980 we run out of questions, whatever happens first. So I'm going to filter some of these

00:02:37.680 because I only want to get you the best questions so that I can get you the best answers. All right,

00:02:42.760 here we go. Graham Robinson.art, he says, what is one piece of advice you wish you'd been told before

00:02:48.700 you had your first child? My first child is due this fall. What advice should I know but won't hear

00:02:54.560 from anyone? Well, first and foremost, congratulations. Having children is obviously an exciting time.

00:03:00.680 It's a nerve wracking time. There's going to be a lot of changes for you. Most of them are going to

00:03:05.180 be good and some of them are going to be hard. Let's be frank about that. So look, you're already

00:03:09.480 getting all the advice. Here's one thing I would tell you though. Don't ditch your friends. Don't

00:03:14.800 ditch your hobbies. Don't ditch your activities. It's going to be very tempting to do because you've

00:03:19.500 got this newborn that you want to take care of and that's right. That's noble. That's good.

00:03:25.360 You've got your wife who you want to take care of as well and that's right and that's noble and

00:03:30.400 that's good. But if you don't figure out a way to continue to maintain your own activities,

00:03:37.320 your own friendships, your own hobbies, you're going to get burned out and gassed out very,

00:03:42.820 very quickly because at times it can be exhausting, especially when you have a newborn and the baby's

00:03:50.160 crying and pooping and your wife's stressed out and you're stressed out and everybody's stressed.

00:03:54.740 So you need to have an outlet for that stress. Everybody's going to tell you how to manage the

00:03:58.860 home and how to support her and all of that stuff should be taken care of, but don't forget to take

00:04:03.920 care of yourself. So many men do. And I think generally they do it for noble reasons because

00:04:09.100 they want to take care of their baby and be with their baby and they want to take care of their wife

00:04:12.520 and be with their wife. And that's an important, an important factor, but figure out a way to make

00:04:18.460 sure you are still taking care of yourself. Otherwise you're going to get exhausted and it's going to be

00:04:23.820 a longer road than it needs to be. So I hope that helps. This is from Fire and Iron Podcast.

00:04:30.680 What are three non-negotiable rules for building a successful podcast? Well, fortunately we have

00:04:36.140 built a successful podcast. We have been downloaded over 35 million times. We've been recording now for

00:04:45.060 six years. I want to say we're at 700 plus episodes. That's our interview, our Friday field notes,

00:04:51.460 and this, you're asking me anything. So we've done it and we are doing it. There's still a lot

00:04:58.540 of work to do. There's still a lot of people I want to meet with and talk with. So I feel like

00:05:03.260 we're scratching the surface, but in a lot of ways we've had tremendous success and that's a big part

00:05:08.260 to you and your support and you leaving ratings and reviews and taking screenshots and sharing them.

00:05:13.960 So that stuff goes a long way. I really appreciate you doing that because we are a grassroots movement

00:05:18.960 and it's important that you guys share. If you have valuable information, then share it.

00:05:23.500 And you've been doing that. I ask you to continue doing that. So what are three non-negotiables?

00:05:28.740 Number one, I think you really need to take a hardline stance on some issues.

00:05:33.480 Most people are afraid of doing this because they're afraid of rubbing people the wrong way.

00:05:39.040 You're going to piss people off. It's just, it comes with the territory. And so if you aren't willing

00:05:44.500 to take a hardline stance on certain societal issues, I know this is geared, I believe more

00:05:50.840 towards firefighters. There's going to be some things that you need to be willing to talk about

00:05:56.100 in a firm, but fair way, I would say, even commentary, but also making sure that everybody

00:06:03.500 knows where you stand. And so many people won't do that because they want everybody to like them or

00:06:07.940 everybody to approve of them. And you got to be careful doing that because if you become so bland

00:06:12.520 in trying to win everybody over, you're not going to win everybody over, you're actually going to

00:06:16.960 turn off the people who could have been inspired or led by what you had to share, but you were too

00:06:22.240 afraid to share it. I made a post, I think on Twitter the other day, and I said something along

00:06:27.980 the lines of, if I'm pissing off the right people, it's a pretty good indicator that I'm saying the

00:06:35.200 right things. So I don't set out to piss people off, but that's important. Number two is do

00:06:41.960 it differently. If you're doing it like me or doing it like Rogan or doing it like Jocko,

00:06:47.120 whoever it is you listen to, Andy Frisilla, a bunch of these guys that have been on the podcast

00:06:50.440 and are tremendous podcasters, it's already out there. It's already out there. Somebody's already

00:06:59.220 doing it like that. So don't try to tap into that market. Create your own podcast, create your own

00:07:05.540 sound, your own vibe, your own feel, your own tempo and pace, and do it in a way that is you,

00:07:12.540 uniquely you, because you're going to be a lot more engaged when you do it that way.

00:07:16.200 And you're going to attract people. Because if people wanted to listen to Rogan instead of this

00:07:20.640 podcast, they would just go listen to Rogan. They don't need to listen to me mimic Rogan. If people

00:07:25.500 wanted to go listen to Jocko instead of this podcast, they don't need to listen to me.

00:07:29.080 They just go listen to Jocko, right? So don't be the next best whoever, be the best you that you

00:07:37.640 can be when it comes to podcasting. And then the third non-negotiable for me is just hyper

00:07:43.440 consistency. We started in March of 2015. So that's over six years now. And I have not missed a single

00:07:51.660 episode. Not one. Not one episode. There was almost one that I missed. And I ended up doing it late

00:07:58.900 night because I had forgot. I don't know how I forgot, but I forgot about it. I ended up doing

00:08:02.960 it with Kip Sorensen late. We were at a jujitsu immersion camp, Origins immersion camp. And we

00:08:09.420 cranked it out. It must have been 9, 10, 11 o'clock at night. Hit publish. And so we published it before

00:08:14.020 the stroke of midnight. But you got to be consistent. And I've told people, I don't, I personally don't

00:08:20.000 have the luxury of not being consistent. Like I'm not interesting enough. I'm not entertaining

00:08:25.160 enough. There's so much noise out there. There's so many podcasts out there. And if I don't show up,

00:08:31.060 I feel like most people, a lot of people would say, Hey, where are you at? But I think most people

00:08:36.360 would probably say, Oh, I guess he's not doing his thing anymore. And they would just go on and find

00:08:39.340 the next best thing. So be consistent. There you go. There's three tips. All right. Again, I'm trying

00:08:46.420 to, I'm going through my phone live because I don't want to prepare or over prepare for these things

00:08:51.200 because I want to give you a very candid answer. So I'm just going through these comments and trying

00:08:57.920 to pick the ones that are going to resonate the best with you guys. This one is, RDB Smiles would

00:09:06.060 love to know your thoughts on building a biz with little or no funding. Have you, for instance,

00:09:11.300 ever obtained a bank loan, small business loan to operate and pay yourself while trying to grow?

00:09:16.820 So I'm probably not the best guy to ask on this. In fact, I'm not the best guy to ask on this

00:09:22.800 because I have never built a business with anything other than paying for it myself and

00:09:30.240 bootstrapping to the best of my ability. I started a financial planning firm that was very profitable

00:09:35.220 and did very well. I started this podcast, obviously, like I said, six years ago, very profitable,

00:09:40.540 does very well, even better than the financial planning practice.

00:09:43.240 Uh, and both were started with very little funding. I mean, a few hundred bucks and some

00:09:50.400 technology that I had to invest in some subscriptions that I need to buy on an ongoing basis. But if

00:09:55.720 you're running this kind of business, a digital business, essentially you can do that. And there's

00:10:01.740 been times throughout the last six years where I've needed more funding, but I grew into that. So for

00:10:07.420 example, events, what we had to buy tables and chairs and equipment and sound systems and all

00:10:15.160 of that stuff, we bought all of that for our events. But our first event, we leased all of that. We did

00:10:20.620 it at an event center and now we do it at my property here in Maine. So we worked into that. That's

00:10:27.060 number one. Just work into it. Excuse me. Uh, number two is just, just be smart. You don't need

00:10:37.060 all the latest gadgets and gizmos and tricks and tips. Like for me right now, we've got two podcast

00:10:43.260 microphones. The one you're staring at, if you're looking at this on YouTube, uh, we've got some

00:10:48.180 different lighting. I've got two or three different cameras, but really I'm using this microphone. I think

00:10:53.020 it costs me $400, which you shouldn't, you don't need this microphone. When you get started, I was

00:10:58.300 using, uh, the ATR 2100, it costs 67 bucks. When I started, I was using my computer. So I already had

00:11:05.360 that, but right now, as I'm recording this, I'm literally using this $400 microphone, my, my old

00:11:10.960 computer, and I've got a little, uh, webcam that probably costs me a hundred bucks and that's it.

00:11:17.060 And, and you got to keep in mind that this is a podcast without sounding like I'm bragging about it.

00:11:21.360 This is a podcast that does very well. This is one of the best podcasts in the world.

00:11:25.380 Now, of course I'm a bit biased, but based on size and downloads and the people that we've had on,

00:11:30.640 that's true. And I'm still running it from this microphone, this computer, this, this webcam right

00:11:37.600 here. So less than $500. So you got to be careful of falling into the trap that just because you want

00:11:44.140 to make it the best ever, and you should want to make it the best ever that you have to buy everything

00:11:47.720 and do it exactly right. Now we've worked into that. I've got camera equipment here and I've got

00:11:51.340 lights in a professional studio and, but we've worked into that. So keep that in mind, but it

00:11:57.160 can be done. You just got to be smart about it. I know that maybe your profits aren't going to be

00:12:01.020 high. If you're looking at, you know, merchandise, for example, I didn't buy 500 shirts to start out

00:12:06.360 with. I bought 20 shirts and then I moved in from there. And so if you scale it that way, you should

00:12:11.460 have no problem. Uh, you know, questions like this, this is from Thomas Oppenheimer says,

00:12:17.260 what do you think the world will be like in 20 years and why? I don't know. I mean, that's the

00:12:21.460 only answer I can give you. If I knew what it was going to be like in 20 years, I would invest in

00:12:26.720 something. Uh, and I guess it would be like on back to the future where, you know, he goes back and

00:12:31.960 invest in all the sports races and, and sports, uh, competition. It's like, I, I don't know. I don't

00:12:38.320 have a crystal ball. All I know is that I'm trying to do right by me and be the best version of,

00:12:43.960 of a father and a husband and a business owner and a leader in my community that I can be.

00:12:48.360 I'm trying to take care of my wife and my kids. Um, I'm trying to serve my community. I'm trying

00:12:53.100 to serve other men through this podcast. And that's what I can focus on. And, and when I do,

00:12:59.560 here's the cool thing about that. As I do focus on this stuff, I can adapt and I can adjust and I can

00:13:04.920 evolve and grow and morph and change and tweak. And I mean, I'm still going to have the principles I

00:13:09.460 believe in, but I can navigate the changes in external environments because I take care of

00:13:15.460 myself. So I'm, I'm not telling you that you shouldn't think about what it's going to be like

00:13:20.200 in 20 years. I'm always trying to anticipate what could potentially come up both positively and

00:13:26.060 negatively, but I'm going to place the emphasis more heavily on myself and know that if I can take

00:13:32.480 care of myself financially, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, that I'll be able to adjust and evolve

00:13:37.980 and adapt as needed, uh, and then work into making the best future for myself and my family and the

00:13:43.720 people I care about. Uh, Zeke Bishop, how does one choose a work field to go into? Zeke, I think it

00:13:51.980 really just starts with interest. What are you interested in? And then take one step. That's it.

00:13:58.800 What are you interested in? Take one step. If you're, if you're still interested in it,

00:14:02.580 take another step. If you're not so interested in it, maybe there's a sidestep that you can take

00:14:07.400 where it's something similar to the business that you're in, but not exactly a great sidestep for me

00:14:12.880 was from moving from my financial planning practice to order a man. Now, a lot of people

00:14:17.100 might say, well, Ryan, how is that a sidestep? That's a completely different business. It is a

00:14:21.320 different business, but I started a podcast with my financial planning practice and I realized I love

00:14:27.080 the medium of podcasting and having conversations. I just didn't want to continue to have those

00:14:32.700 conversations. So I didn't quit. I didn't do a complete one 80. I just took a sidestep and moved

00:14:40.820 from wealth anatomy, which was our financial planning podcast over here and went sideways

00:14:46.520 the order of man, and then kept going on that track. So you're probably not going to get it right

00:14:53.660 the first time. That's what you need to know. It isn't like the heavens part and the angels are on

00:14:59.900 their trumpets and they're singing. Hallelujah. You found what it is you're supposed to do for

00:15:03.480 the rest of your life. At least it didn't work like that for me. You know, we see athletes,

00:15:07.660 for example, who, uh, they're in the Superbowl and they on a, on a Superbowl break or something,

00:15:15.060 they show these kids, you know, playing football when they were two years old and they knew they

00:15:19.420 always wanted to be on that path. I don't think it's like that for most people. I think most people,

00:15:24.980 uh, are, are confused about what they want to do. Not even confused. Just have like no idea

00:15:31.540 whatsoever where to even start. And so what I would say is I would just take a long, hard look

00:15:37.700 into what you're interested in, uh, or even where you're at. What, what, how can you improve and make

00:15:44.580 the environment in which you currently are your work environment in this case, how can you make it

00:15:49.760 better than it currently is? Because if you can make it better than it currently is, you might

00:15:55.200 find something that you're very suited for. Now I will share a couple of questions that I would ask

00:15:59.860 myself. Number one, what am I doing when time goes the fastest, right? You always hear it. Time flies

00:16:08.540 when you're having fun. Well, if you're doing something and time is just going fast, as fast,

00:16:13.100 as fast as can be, it's a pretty good indicator that you're immersed in it. And you're not worried about

00:16:18.060 how long something's taking you. That's an indicator. That's not an answer. It's an indicator.

00:16:23.720 The other thing is if money were not an issue for you, no concern whatsoever, how would you be

00:16:30.700 spending your time? What would you be doing? Now, a lot of guys will say, you know, like I'd be

00:16:34.960 drinking a beer on the balcony or I'd be on the golf course or whatever. Like, good. I get it. Like,

00:16:39.000 of course, sure. Have some time and vacations, but I don't think you'd do that. I wouldn't do that.

00:16:43.800 I mean, I may do that for like a weekend, but if you're anything like me, I can't sit still.

00:16:51.940 I don't even understand or I can't even fathom the concept of retirement, the way that it's been

00:16:56.800 described to us. Like you just ride off into the sunset and play golf. And that sounds miserable.

00:17:02.960 I got to be doing something. I got to be moving towards something. So I get the joke, right? Like,

00:17:07.740 what would you do? I just, you know, sit around and drink beers and scars and just live life.

00:17:11.880 I get it. Okay. But really, if you're an ambitious man, you're not going to do that for

00:17:17.200 very long. What would you be doing? And, you know, maybe golf is the answer. Well, okay.

00:17:22.600 Can you start teaching people how to play golf? Now, when I say that, I think the natural reaction

00:17:29.320 for a lot of people might be like, oh, well, then I have to be a professional and, you know,

00:17:33.620 I'd have to get my coaching certification and all this stuff. And maybe there's some things in there.

00:17:37.680 I don't know. I don't know too much about golf. That's not quite my thing.

00:17:40.220 But I look at men like John Dudley, for example, who is a world-class archer and hunter. And he is

00:17:48.980 a phenomenal coach in the world of archery and bow hunting. And he's made himself into that over

00:17:56.240 decades and decades of doing this work. He's turned this, what was probably at one point and probably

00:18:03.500 still is a very like a live type coaching session, but he's done a lot online too. Okay. He's moved

00:18:10.960 into that realm, but he's always really enjoyed this. And he's made a profitable career out of

00:18:17.380 doing something that he really likes. And we can all do that. That's pretty cool. So again, what are

00:18:23.620 you doing when time goes the fastest? What would you do if money wasn't an option? And the third

00:18:27.400 question I would ask is what are people asking you for advice about, right? Because if they're asking

00:18:33.760 you about hiking or physical fitness or how to fix their computer or how to build an app or how to

00:18:40.860 play the guitar or how to train jujitsu or any number of things that it could be, how to shoot a

00:18:45.860 firearm, how to paint, how to take pictures. Like there's a billion things it could be. If people are

00:18:52.160 asking you about that and you're getting that request over and over and over again, there's a

00:18:57.220 pretty good indicator that people are looking at you as some sort of an expert. Now you don't have to

00:19:01.860 feel that way. In fact, a lot of guys don't because they have imposter syndrome. Oh, who am I

00:19:06.020 to teach somebody about photography? I never took any lessons. Well, that doesn't mean that you can't

00:19:11.800 teach other people how to do it. So don't get in your own way and sabotage your own efforts before

00:19:17.660 they start. But if you have a bunch of people asking you about how to paint or take

00:19:22.060 pictures or cook or dress well, it could be anything, then that's a pretty good indicator

00:19:28.700 that people see something in you and you ought to pay attention to it. It may not be the answer,

00:19:32.880 but you ought to pay attention to it. So there's a couple of triggers and cues that you can look into

00:19:36.380 that might help you get in on the right path. All right, let's go to, this is from Kyle D. Shields.

00:19:44.480 If order of man didn't exist today, what career would you have imagined yourself in?

00:19:49.160 Kyle, I really don't know. I was in the financial planning practice and I've got a very close friend

00:19:55.400 in the financial planning field as well. And I remember telling him like, I'm not going to be

00:20:01.280 doing this forever. I liked it. I found value in it. I felt like I was helping people. It was a good

00:20:07.240 thing and it was right. And it was a good career for me. I was able to be home with my family most of

00:20:12.180 the time. And there was elements of it I really enjoyed, but I knew that that just wasn't it for

00:20:16.500 me. But look, if I wouldn't have taken this first step into order of man in March of 2015,

00:20:21.140 I would actually probably still be doing that unless something else came along and I can't envision

00:20:27.300 what that would be. So for me, it would be the financial planning thing, or I'd be working on this.

00:20:35.200 People say, well, what if this was gone? Well, then I'd start it.

00:20:37.160 So I don't know. I don't know what it would be outside of that.

00:20:44.180 The enlightened monk. When are the different situations to use quote unquote, hell yeah approach

00:20:50.260 and the quote, hmm, that sounds curious. Let me try that approach to new things in life,

00:20:56.280 especially in careers. I actually don't think they're mutually exclusive. I don't think the

00:21:00.880 hell yeah and hmm, that sounds curious type approaches are mutually exclusive. I don't think

00:21:06.200 it has to be one or the other. In fact, I think it should be both. For me, the idea, the concept of

00:21:13.360 curiosity is something that I've really focused on, I would say over the past, maybe a year to 18

00:21:20.560 months. And I think because I've been so curious, that's why I've gotten a lot better at podcasting,

00:21:25.660 specifically interviewing incredible men, because I'm not there to prove anything about myself.

00:21:31.440 I'm really actually genuinely curious about what makes these guys tick and how they've been successful

00:21:39.860 and what strategies they're using, what mindsets they've adopted or developed. And that level of

00:21:45.700 curiosity has really made me a better podcaster. But I can be curious and say, hell yeah, I'm going to

00:21:52.220 try that. And you should be like that. I mean, that's why we built the canoe. A lot of guys ask me

00:21:56.860 about the canoe that we're still building. We've got a few extra steps here. And because I was

00:22:03.160 curious, last year I was on the lake, I was paddling on one of those lifetime plastic kayaks

00:22:10.400 or canoes. It was a kayak. It's like a paddleboard kayak thing. And I thought, man, wouldn't this be so

00:22:16.980 much better on a canoe or in a canoe that we built, my son and I, my oldest son and I. And that was a

00:22:22.980 little bit of curiosity. And because I was curious, I said, hell yeah, let's do it. Now, I don't think

00:22:28.740 you have to burn, burn the boats or burn old bridges in order to say, hell yeah. And in fact,

00:22:35.080 I, I wouldn't do that. I would advise against doing that because you never know if things are

00:22:41.340 going to work out, but yeah, I think you should do both. Hey, I'm curious about that. So hell yeah,

00:22:45.860 let's give it a try. And then you go all in, you do it because if you're just going to dabble and dip

00:22:50.460 your toe in the water, there's elements of life that sure, you know, like, Hey, maybe I want to

00:22:56.160 learn how to play the guitar. Okay. Well, are you going to go start a rock band? Probably not.

00:23:01.140 Most of you probably don't even have a desire to do that, but to learn how to play a few songs around

00:23:04.800 the campfire for your family. Sure. Or to pick up the ladies. Sure. So that might be a dabble. This is

00:23:10.760 curious. Let me try it out. So I think, I think, you know where to find that line, but again,

00:23:15.980 they're not mutually exclusive. You should be, you should be saying both. All right. This is from

00:23:22.300 raccoon baguette, which I like that name raccoon baguette on the bad days after you hit that rock

00:23:28.720 bottom. Was there anything you did to motivate yourself to get yourself together? You know,

00:23:35.580 you use the phrase, phrase, get yourself together. And that's what I did personally. Cause I said,

00:23:41.500 you know, it's time, get your shit together. And there was a lot of self-talk. There was a lot of

00:23:47.360 negative self-talk too. You know, a lot of dark days when my wife left and the business wasn't

00:23:52.540 going well and I was overweight and out of shape and life wasn't all that good. There was a lot of

00:23:56.660 negative self-talk, but there was enough positive self-talk that said, Ryan, it's time. You got to get

00:24:02.320 going. And I had good people in my corner. I had my mom who always supported me. I had friends and I was

00:24:07.120 making new friends. And I had advisors that I had hired from my financial planning practice.

00:24:12.560 And these people were pushing me in the right direction and asking me questions and helping

00:24:16.360 me get back on track. And it, so some of it was me like, okay, it's time. I drew upon past experiences

00:24:24.280 where I've had success. And I looked at those and thought to myself, I can do this again. I did it

00:24:28.200 before I can do it again. And again, I had other good people in my corner because sometimes you alone

00:24:33.760 just isn't enough. I wish it could be. And, and you, it can be, if you're disciplined, you know,

00:24:40.060 we hear a lot of people say, well, you know, motivation is overrated. Just be disciplined.

00:24:43.700 And I understand the sentiment and at times it's right. But if you're depressed and you're at rock

00:24:50.020 bottom and you're downtrodden, that's going to be a little harder. So having the right people in your

00:24:55.680 corner, a band of brothers who are going to hold your feet to the fire and tell you what needs to be

00:25:00.320 told and, and, and, and do the things that need to be done, that's going to be a huge advantage for

00:25:05.540 you. So get around the right people. And by the way, if you're around the right people doing good

00:25:10.280 things, enjoying life together, it's infinitely harder to feel shitty about your situation.

00:25:17.060 You want it? I remember when I was down, it was when I was alone. It was at night.

00:25:21.160 Everybody was out doing their thing. I was thinking about what my wife was doing

00:25:24.020 and that was a hard time. Excuse me. But it wasn't until I got around those other people

00:25:32.800 started to engage in life again. And it was like a snowball. You know, it starts at the top of the

00:25:38.040 hill. You build a compact ball, you roll it down the hill, it gets a little bigger, a little bigger,

00:25:42.540 a little bigger, a little bigger. And eventually it's this huge boulder of a snowball that you

00:25:48.080 wouldn't want to get in the way of. Well, that's what it is when it comes to quote unquote motivation.

00:25:53.180 There might be just a little spark and just act on that little spark. If you're feeling like right

00:25:58.280 now, hey, you know, maybe I should go to the gym. Then go to the gym. I'm not telling you to lose

00:26:03.020 a hundred pounds. I'm not telling you to have the perfect workout schedule or regimen. I'm just

00:26:07.280 telling you, hey, if I feel like going to the gym, go to the gym. If you feel like going to church,

00:26:11.940 go to church. If you feel like calling one of your old friends and asking if he wants to go to the

00:26:15.020 game or come over to fight night or just go to dinner or grab a beer or whatever, do that.

00:26:20.300 And just make that call. And you don't need motivation to do that. You just need to make

00:26:25.160 the decision to do it. Have some faith that it's going to move you in the right direction. It's not

00:26:29.300 going to solve all of your problems, but it's going to move you in the right direction. And that's what

00:26:33.660 you want. You want to be moving in the right direction. Mark PMW, how can one prepare for an

00:26:41.440 upcoming career change, especially when you have no experience in what you're going into?

00:26:46.440 You, this is simple. You get around people who are already doing it. That's how you prepare for

00:26:52.260 it. There's going to be a lot of doubt and uncertainty and unknown, but get around people

00:26:57.100 who are already in the career that you want to get into and ask them questions. Ask them smart,

00:27:03.200 intelligent, thoughtful questions that you really have the desire to learn about. And that's going

00:27:08.000 to help them because they're going to have to explain things to you, which is always good for

00:27:11.860 people. And it's going to obviously help you because you're going to get some insider knowledge

00:27:15.880 that you wouldn't even thought about without doing that. It's amazing to me how often we as men

00:27:22.860 isolate ourselves or beat up on ourselves because we think, man, I should just have everything figured

00:27:27.800 out and have all the answers. And I don't want to ask that guy that one question. Cause what if he

00:27:32.240 thinks I'm an idiot and I, you know, I should already know this, but you don't know it. How could you

00:27:37.060 possibly know what you don't know? It's not possible, right? So how do you prepare for a

00:27:44.220 career change or anything that you don't know about? You talk with people who know about it.

00:27:50.700 You jump online, you study it, you get external information and you put it into your brain and

00:27:56.320 then you're more prepared with what you have to deal with. Now there's still going to be uncertainty.

00:28:00.340 There's still going to be doubt and fear and hesitation that doesn't go away,

00:28:03.560 but it mitigates it, right? It helps. It hedges against it. So let's stop isolating ourselves

00:28:10.080 and let's start banding together. That's part of the reason we started this movement.

00:28:14.120 It's also part of the reason we call it order of man, order, group, society, brotherhood, fraternity,

00:28:22.100 men bonded together, working together. None of this lone wolf type stuff, finding other men,

00:28:29.420 getting men in your corner who know different things than you that you can learn from and that

00:28:35.740 you can teach in the things that you know more about life than them. This is why this work is so

00:28:41.180 important. Next question. The designed man says, do you have any current coaches, mentors that you

00:28:50.980 regularly meet with? I, so I'm going to assume the design man, that when you're talking about this,

00:28:58.360 you're talking about coaches and mentors specifically for, I would say life and, or the business. That's

00:29:04.320 probably what you're talking about. And I actually don't have any coaches in the moment for those two

00:29:09.780 places. I've got a couple of physical fitness trainers. One is Josiah Novak. The other is Sean Moore.

00:29:15.600 Excuse me. A little congested today, guys. Sorry. Uh, I've got, uh, Pete who trains me with

00:29:25.040 jujitsu. I've got other men in my corner. I've got spiritual advisors. Uh, I have friends who are

00:29:30.900 in business and podcasting and doing things similar to what I'm doing. We're not in a formal coach

00:29:36.780 mentorship role currently, but I have been in the past and I will be again, as I have needs and

00:29:42.940 desires and things I want to do and things I want to accomplish. I'm, I, I think the value of having

00:29:48.640 coaches in your corner cannot be overstated. It's so important. And it's funny because you'll hear a

00:29:55.280 lot of guys who will say, you know, like, I'm not going to pay for friends or I'm not going to pay

00:29:58.380 for that. Again, that comes from a place of arrogance and ego. I should know it all. I should

00:30:04.320 have everything figured out. Well, you don't. So get those coaches, get those mentors. I currently

00:30:09.220 don't have those specifically when it comes to business currently, but other facets and areas

00:30:14.620 of life. Yes, absolutely. All right, let's get to, this is from Catholic crusader one. What advice

00:30:25.540 would you give to teenagers? Give teenagers, it's word a little weirder. What I think it's saying is

00:30:32.600 what advice would you give to a teenage boy in his age? It really depends because 13 is different

00:30:40.320 than 18. At 18, I would say it's time for you to leave the nest. It's time for you to experience life,

00:30:45.920 to create experiences, to create opportunities, to get as many different ideas and travel and all this

00:30:53.480 stuff under your belt, because you're going to be able to draw upon that for the rest of your life.

00:30:57.260 At 13, I would say you should listen to your mother and father. You should work on your physical

00:31:03.700 fitness. You should get your schooling done and be diligent. And you just start thinking about

00:31:07.640 what you want to accomplish in life. You don't have to have everything mapped out and laid out,

00:31:12.680 but what are you interested in? Do you want to be in the medical field? Do you want to speak in

00:31:18.320 public? Do you want to be an athlete or some sort of a performer? Like, what is it that you want?

00:31:24.200 Start thinking about that so you can tailor your goals towards those things. So again,

00:31:28.660 the big difference between a 13-year-old and an 18 or 19-year-old. So maybe you could be more

00:31:33.860 specific and I'd give you a better answer on that one. Here's a good one. This one's from Spencer,

00:31:41.660 excuse me, Spencer Delaney. Spencer says, how do you get on the same page as your spouse?

00:31:48.640 This can be in regards to anything really, political, medicinal, et cetera, et cetera.

00:31:54.200 So open your mouth and communicate. You're not going to read her mind. She's not going to read

00:32:00.900 your mind. And even in verbal communication, there is miscommunication. So you need to open

00:32:07.960 your mouth and you need to share what's on your mind, what you dream about, what you desire,

00:32:12.780 what you fear, what you want, everything. Talk about it all. And then ask her the same questions.

00:32:18.120 What do you want? What do you fear? What do you think about this situation? Our kids are dealing

00:32:22.920 with this. I'm dealing with that. What do you think about politics? What do you think about

00:32:26.400 religion? Think about all this stuff, talk about it. And don't just talk about it and say,

00:32:30.140 Hey, I checked the box. Yep. She's a, she's, she's Christian. I'm Christian. Good. Okay. Yep.

00:32:33.860 We're good. No, like that's the starting point. And then you have to do it every day. You have to

00:32:40.080 talk with your wife and it's not, Hey hon, how's your day? I mean, that's an important question.

00:32:46.620 If you really care about knowing that's an important question. It's, but it's real questions.

00:32:54.040 It's real questions. What do you, what do you want most out of life? What do you think about

00:32:59.620 where we're currently at? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do when the kids are gone?

00:33:05.500 Or when do you want to have kids? And if, if it comes to discipline, what do you believe about

00:33:11.200 that? Like, these are all questions that you can ask. It's so easy. And yet we don't do it

00:33:15.440 because we're lazy or because we think we know the answer. You don't, you don't know the answer.

00:33:21.880 How do you know the answer? You ask and you listen. And by the way, even if you ask and she gives you

00:33:27.940 an answer, don't assume that's exactly correct. And I'm not saying she's lying to you, but she may not

00:33:34.480 fully know. And you may not fully know the answer to those questions. And, but by the way, they evolve

00:33:38.340 over time. I could ask my wife about, Hey, where do you want to live when we get married? And she

00:33:44.140 could say, I want to live in Southern Utah my entire life, which is what she said. And here we are now,

00:33:48.720 uh, 17 years into our marriage, living on the other side of the country because it evolved. It changed

00:33:57.420 the dynamic change. She changed priorities changed. And so it's not a one and done conversation. So what I

00:34:04.360 would suggest is create some space and margin where you and your wife can have talks by yourself

00:34:11.100 without the kids alone about real stuff every morning, every evening. We do it every evening.

00:34:18.240 After the kids are down, she's settled in, I'm settled in where these are the things we're

00:34:21.780 talking about. These are the things that we're addressing and you got to do it every day.

00:34:25.000 This is from AP 17774. I think I got the right number of sevens there. How to combat the growing

00:34:34.900 woke culture in a blue collar work, such as policing or firefighter. Look, I'm obviously in neither of

00:34:43.060 these lines of work, but what I would say is that you really need to get yourself in a position of

00:34:49.060 leadership. Okay. These woke policies are dangerous, especially when it comes to dangerous

00:34:55.360 occupations like police work or law enforcement, firefighting, uh, even soldiering and being a

00:35:01.680 warrior. This is dangerous work. There's, there's obviously a heightened sense, an element of danger

00:35:08.220 and risk. And these woke ideology, ideological policies and ideas are undermining the mission at

00:35:16.080 hand. You know, you've seen some of you anyways, have seen some of these videos that the, uh, the

00:35:21.380 army has come out and they're more concerned with diversity and inclusion. And what's your

00:35:26.300 background than they are about what the actual mission and task at hand is. CIA is doing the same

00:35:32.640 thing that the central intelligence agency, these are departments, organizations, and agencies that are

00:35:39.180 designed to keep us safe, designed to fight our enemies, designed to enforce the law. And we're more

00:35:44.560 worried about diversity inclusion. That's, that's dangerous. Okay. So you need to play the game.

00:35:53.540 Well, learn how to play the game because there's a political game in every, every organization and

00:35:59.600 you need to learn how to play. You know, a lot of guys will gripe and moan a bitch about it. And I get

00:36:03.300 it. You know, there's going to be decisions made that you aren't going to be happy about, but just learn

00:36:07.140 to play the game well so that you can get your, your, you into a position of authority and leadership

00:36:13.060 and start impacting this culture. And by the way, you don't need to wait. All right. What I want is

00:36:19.240 for somebody who may not agree with me and there's plenty. And I've had people say this, and this is a

00:36:25.960 great compliment to me. I, at least I take it as a compliment. Well, they'll say things like, you know,

00:36:30.980 Ryan, I don't, I don't agree or believe in everything you say, but I really appreciate, you know,

00:36:35.580 fill in the blank. I really appreciate your boldness, or I really appreciate your conviction,

00:36:41.620 or I really appreciate how, even though I don't agree with it always, that you're always willing

00:36:45.800 to share what's on your mind, or I really appreciate your work ethic. That's a great

00:36:50.420 compliment. And I want people who don't agree with me to see at least at a minimum, to see me as somebody

00:36:58.020 who is attempting to be as honorable and virtuous and, and capable and courageous as I possibly can

00:37:06.640 be. So even though they may disagree with me, there's elements that they, there's still a level

00:37:12.600 of trust. That's what you want. You want to develop trust. If you can develop trust across political

00:37:20.760 aisles across, across some of these ideologies, it begins to break them down. And why do we trust

00:37:28.820 people? Because they know what they're talking about. They've shown, and they have a track record

00:37:33.340 of getting the job done. They're open-minded to other ideas and concepts. They include other people

00:37:41.280 in decision-making processes. This is leadership 101. The more you can get other people to trust you

00:37:49.000 through your behavior, your words and their alignment with your actions, the more likely

00:37:54.680 it is that when you speak, even though they may not totally agree with it, at least they're going

00:37:59.640 to listen. Hey, you know what? I don't really agree with Ryan on this, but man, every other time I've

00:38:04.120 heard him talk, like I've been right on board and right in sync and he liked what I like, what he has

00:38:07.780 to share. So, you know, I'm going to listen to this. Has ever, anybody ever changed your mind

00:38:14.980 about who they are or about a certain concept? I've had plenty of conversations with people that

00:38:20.940 I adamantly disagree with. And yet I respect them enough to listen, to really try to understand where

00:38:28.320 they're coming from. And there's been situations where I saw a perspective that I'd never considered

00:38:34.960 before. And there's also been situations where I'm like, no, I still don't believe that. I still

00:38:40.220 don't think that's the best course of action. And I believe mine still is, but develop and build that

00:38:45.580 trust. And as you do, and you treat people with respect and you treat them fairly, then you get

00:38:50.500 yourself in a positions of authority and influence where you can make sure that you're teaching other

00:38:55.080 people these same things. Real BA, real BA Brian, I think, or barbarian or Brian something. Do you have

00:39:08.060 scientific resources for not receiving the vaccine? I probably shouldn't have read that. You just go

00:39:14.940 Google that. I mean, you can find, you can, you can find anything you want. You can find reasons to

00:39:18.460 take it, reasons not to take it. There's plenty of studies that suggest that, you know, if you're young

00:39:23.040 and healthy, that, that the vaccine isn't going to be as important for somebody who is, you know,

00:39:27.260 older and, and, and maybe has some underlying health issues. You can find that stuff out there.

00:39:31.940 So if you're interested, go find it. I can hear my kids laughing in the background. I don't know if

00:39:38.480 you can hear them or not, but I can hear them back there playing. That means it's almost time to wrap

00:39:42.340 this podcast up and go play with my kiddos, which I'm going to do this afternoon. All right. Ben

00:39:47.020 Kerfman, how to be more capable man who can protect and provide for loved ones when dealing with severe

00:39:53.880 chronic illness. Very broad question. You know, get yourself physically fit. Learn to, I've talked

00:40:01.040 about this stuff so much. I mean, you can go listen, you can go listen to previous podcasts, get yourself

00:40:06.120 physically fit, get your financial situation dialed in, get your mind right, do hard things, have some

00:40:11.580 sort of a frame of reference for what is challenging and what is not. These are the things that I've

00:40:18.020 talked about for so, so long. I would also give you another resource. Go read sovereignty, which is a

00:40:23.920 book I wrote in 2017, 2018, man, time flies. It's called the sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and

00:40:31.580 minds of men. Go read that. Cause that'll be a great resource, including another resource, a free

00:40:35.620 resource for you. Order a man.com slash battle ready, which will help you map out the next 12 weeks.

00:40:41.580 And when you map that stuff out, you're going to be much more effective in your own life,

00:40:44.980 which will give you the capacity to be more effective in other people's lives.

00:40:50.560 I'm looking for the next question here. I have one close family member in particular. This is from

00:40:56.340 Austin, Austin E36. I have one close family member in particular who is, who is, uh, against what I'm

00:41:05.600 learning on this podcast saying it's toxic masculinity. I know you hate that term as I do,

00:41:11.660 but how do I handle the situation and help her see that it's making a better person rather than

00:41:17.740 making some, making me more toxic. This just might take time. And, and she's going to see, I think it

00:41:24.940 was she. Yeah. She's going to see through your example, through your actions that you are being

00:41:33.060 more effective or you're not. And if you're being more effective, then you have an opportunity to

00:41:39.540 explain the things that you've learned about being a man and physical fitness and what our role and

00:41:44.520 responsibilities are, but it's just going to come over time. You got to consider also that there's so

00:41:50.500 much conditioning going on in society. You know, for every one podcast conversation, like we're having

00:41:57.120 here about masculinity and how important it is in society, there's probably 10 or a hundred or a

00:42:03.460 thousand or more conversations taking place about why men are evil and why they're all toxic and why

00:42:09.120 they're destructive and dangerous to society and why we live in a tyrannical patriarchy. So this is the

00:42:15.500 conditioning depending on her environment that she's receiving. So you've got a tall order.

00:42:21.920 What I would say is that if these are the things that you argue about, don't allow somebody to bring

00:42:29.020 you down into an argument because they're only going to use that as fuel to say, see, if you get in an

00:42:35.820 argument and you start debating and you lose your temper and you lose your cool, then they're going to

00:42:40.200 use that against you. So you have to be, I was reading Tim Grover's book, winning last night. I was

00:42:45.820 finishing it up and he was talking about being like Teflon, just letting that stuff slide. Like not,

00:42:51.600 and there's another book called the four agreements by Miguel Ruiz, I think is the author.

00:42:57.620 And one of the agreements is not to take anything personally. And I'm not the best at this. These are

00:43:03.880 things I'm working on as well. I'll be the first to admit, because I do take things personally,

00:43:07.840 but try not to like, try not to just let it slip off of you. Let it slide right off of you and just

00:43:14.160 maintain that cool, calm, collected presence about you. Cause some people just like to argue.

00:43:21.280 Some people like to be trolls. Like we hear about the internet trolls. Well, there's real life trolls

00:43:25.080 too. And they know what buttons to push and they might not even believe all the things that they're

00:43:29.820 saying, but they like to push on you and they like to poke at you, like to get you riled up. They like

00:43:34.540 to test you. And then they actually, in a lot of ways are setting you up for failure because they're

00:43:38.880 trying to get you to stumble and trip over yourself. Not only in your debate tactics, but the way that you

00:43:43.600 show up. And as soon as you do the instant, the moment that you do, they're going to pounce on

00:43:49.520 that and say, see what you're learning is bad. Don't give them any ammunition rise above it.

00:43:56.380 Be that Teflon type guy. Things just slip off, slide off. Cool. As could be not an issue. You want

00:44:03.440 to have a rational, reasonable discussion. If it gets heated, Hey, you know, like I'm learning that.

00:44:08.500 I just want to back out of these conversations. I don't want to have these conversations, but if

00:44:12.120 you want to come back to it and revisit it when we're both calmed down, let's do that.

00:44:16.540 I like that for a couple of different reasons. The first reason is because if they're genuinely

00:44:21.120 interested in the conversation, it's going to get things back on track and let them know

00:44:25.600 how you really feel about it. If they're not interested in it, here's another reason I like

00:44:30.040 it. Cause I tend to, at times be one of those guys who likes to poke and prod, not the internet troll

00:44:34.040 kind of guy, but like the real life troll a little bit with the people I care about. Cause I like to

00:44:37.320 poke at them. You guys know what I'm talking about. If there are those kinds of people and you say,

00:44:44.040 Hey, you know, like I'm going to back out. I'm not interested in doing it this way. I'll revisit

00:44:48.460 when we're both calm. That's going to get them mad. And it's a little bit of a taste of their own

00:44:53.160 medicine. You're using some strategy there to, to diffuse the situation if they're genuinely

00:44:58.760 interested and to poke back if they're not. So I kind of like that scenario, but it's a win-win

00:45:03.520 for me. But also I'm not interested in convincing people. I'm really not. You know, if I've got

00:45:08.620 somebody, even if they're close to me and they're like, Hey, I don't believe in what you believe.

00:45:11.360 Cool. Like, let's just have a conversation about something else then. You know, I still love you.

00:45:15.160 Still care about you. Still want to be with you or be around you, but this isn't a conversation I

00:45:19.640 want to have and just let the actions speak for themselves. All right. Let's take a couple more here.

00:45:24.300 Here's another one. This is from Lone Papa. Similar when speaking with the woke, with a woke

00:45:30.580 liberal, what subject do you use to find common ground? I mean, if we're, it depends on what

00:45:36.600 we're talking about. I'm just not going to go talk about this stuff with people who don't want to talk

00:45:41.760 about it or see it so adamantly different, foundationally different than me. Like, why would

00:45:46.000 I spend my time and energy doing that? I'm not going to do that because I'm not interested in

00:45:52.280 debating and I'm not actually interested in convincing you. I don't care. You know, if you

00:45:57.120 don't like the order of man movement, I don't care. I mean, I wish that you would. I wish that

00:46:02.100 everybody would. I think it would serve them. I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't the case,

00:46:05.480 but I know I'm smart enough to know that not everybody's going to resonate with it. And if it's

00:46:11.520 not for you, cool. Go find the thing that's for you and let us continue to do our thing because

00:46:18.180 we're going to continue to do it. So I'm not big into just getting into debates and arguments with

00:46:23.640 people that that's wasted breath and effort for me. Um, but if you do want to find common ground,

00:46:30.060 the best way to do that is to ask questions. Hey, why do you think that? What experience do you

00:46:35.660 have? But you have to do it with truth, truthfully. All right. Because everybody knows when you're doing

00:46:40.240 it, when you're just, you're making it up to set people up. Like you're asking questions. You guys

00:46:46.860 know what I'm saying? You're asking a question, but you're doing it to tee them up, to trap them,

00:46:51.360 to trip them up over themselves so you can get them. When you're trying to find common ground,

00:46:56.300 you're asking questions, but you're not doing it as a gotcha moment. See, there's a difference

00:47:00.500 between doing it to get somebody and doing it to understand somebody. So if you truly want to find

00:47:08.440 common ground and understand, then you have to ask those types of questions. But if you're just

00:47:12.820 trying to get somebody to trip them up, to get that gotcha moment, it's not going to work. You're

00:47:18.240 not coming from the right perspective and the right motives. And it's just, it might be fun,

00:47:22.680 you know, but it's also exhausting. So I'd keep that stuff to a minimum.

00:47:29.040 I like this one. Greg Cleaver Photo G says, do you think the technology we utilize is a good

00:47:36.340 communication tool or has it served in some ways to break down and erode our connection,

00:47:42.140 excuse me, our communication and relationships? I think both. I think it's a great communication tool.

00:47:49.200 The technology we use, whether it's podcasting, video, computers, cell phones, social media,

00:47:55.400 they're all wonderful, but it's like a tool. It's like anything else. I've got a couple of hatchets

00:48:01.280 over here on the wall. You know, I could take one of those hatchets and I can go outside and I can

00:48:05.740 split some firewood as we prepare for winter or I can put my hand on a stump and chop my fingers off.

00:48:12.680 That tool didn't change. It's the tool. It's amoral. And it doesn't care actually.

00:48:19.520 You know, it's just a tool. It's a sharpened hunk of metal with a wood stick on the end of it

00:48:25.100 is essentially what it is. It doesn't care. The way I use it is really what matters. Am I going to be

00:48:31.860 proficient with it? Am I going to be disciplined with the tool? Am I going to use it for its intended

00:48:38.260 purpose? It's like I tell my children when they mess around with tools, Hey, they, those aren't

00:48:43.220 toys. Those are tools. There's a difference. So if you want to use the tool, let me teach you how

00:48:50.180 to use it correctly. If you want to toy around with something, go play with your Legos, your GI Joes,

00:48:55.120 your matchbox cars, your dolls, or whatever it is you're going to do. But those are tools

00:48:58.900 and our communication mediums are tools. You can put your hand on the stump and chop your fingers

00:49:06.380 off, or you can use it correctly and chop that firewood to keep you warm. So recognize and

00:49:13.440 acknowledge the dangers, put the systems and processes in place, because look, if you use

00:49:19.320 it incorrectly, yeah, it's going to be destructive. You're going to get addicted. You're probably

00:49:24.920 going to get contentious. That's an easy thing to do. You're going to be comparing yourself to other

00:49:31.060 people. You're not going to learn how to debate or, or have a civil disagreement. It's, it's bad if

00:49:38.800 you don't use it correctly. So use it sparingly only as needed. I don't grab my hatchet and just go

00:49:44.560 flinging it around just for every little thing. No, I picked the right tool out of the toolbox or off

00:49:49.680 the wall. I use it for its intended purpose. I attempt to become more proficient with it.

00:49:55.820 And then I clean it, sharpen it, store it. And it's there ready to use next time I need it.

00:50:04.700 This is from, I'm assuming it's Nate, Nate Hilsey or N8 Hilsey or Nate Hilsey, military or college.

00:50:14.320 Look, I don't think one is better than the other. It's really depending on your situation. You know,

00:50:18.680 if you need to go to college because you need to obtain a degree in order to become a doctor or an

00:50:23.460 attorney or a lawyer or CPA or something in the medical field, then yeah, probably college.

00:50:29.620 But if you have the desire to serve in the military and you want to earn some benefits for potential

00:50:33.600 college down the road, and you want to see the world and you have a desire to, to protect and

00:50:38.040 defend our way of life, then military, both are good options. But I would say if it was a multiple

00:50:44.540 choice question, that would be D, not enough information. All right. I'm going to take one or

00:50:51.060 two more here, guys. Uh, here, this guy says, what's your favorite pizza topping and why is it

00:50:58.880 pineapple? No, no, it's not pineapple. It would never be pineapple. It's definitely pepperoni or

00:51:10.180 sausage or bacon or ham. By the way, what's the difference between ham and Canadian bacon? If you

00:51:17.140 guys can tell me the difference, I'd be interested in that. Speaking of Hawaiian pizza. Um, but no,

00:51:23.660 it's never pineapple ever. It's meat. Of course. All right.

00:51:32.900 What's your absolute, this one's from redneck genius. What's your absolute immovable baseline

00:51:37.300 for the days you wake up feeling like shit and hating the world? I don't know what my, like,

00:51:42.800 I don't know what you mean necessarily by baseline, but I got, I got work to do. I mean, cause there

00:51:47.320 are days I wake up feeling like crap. I don't want to do this. I I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I I've,

00:51:51.920 I've had enough. There's days like that. Sure. Let's not pretend there isn't, but I got work to

00:51:56.540 do. I've got, I've got my family that cares about me. I've got this property that I want to manage

00:52:01.940 and maintain and make look nice. Cause I want to take pride in my environment and where I live.

00:52:05.820 I've got you guys who want to listen and tune in and get better and improve. Like I don't have

00:52:10.340 enough time to feel crappy about myself and, and just wallow in my own self-pity. I can do it for a

00:52:16.200 minute or two. And then I got to slap myself out of it and get to work because I, again, I've got a

00:52:21.580 family. I've got, I've got four kids. You know, I don't, I don't have the luxury of having like

00:52:26.800 bad days. I mean, some days are better than others, but I still have obligations. My responsibility

00:52:33.980 to them doesn't go away just because I'm feeling like crap. Same thing with my wife, same thing

00:52:38.260 with you guys. So for me, it's a sense of duty. I guess you say, what's your baseline, immovable

00:52:43.820 baseline for the days you wake up. For me, it's a sense of duty. Like I have it. I have duties.

00:52:50.020 That I've committed to, committed to my wife. I've committed to my kids. I've committed to you

00:52:56.020 guys and how I feel about it after I've committed is irrelevant. Now I want to have good days more

00:53:03.220 than I want to have bad days. And there's things I can do to turn bad days into good days. But my

00:53:07.320 baseline is duty because I said I would period full stop. Let's take one more.

00:53:16.700 I like this question because there's something in this question that I'm going to address with

00:53:24.740 you guys here in the next couple of weeks. This is from Joe Langley one. He would like to hear some

00:53:29.700 thoughts on encouraging kids to follow in the family business versus building something of their

00:53:33.380 own. Here's what I would say, Joe is look for their interests. You know, I used to be that guy who's

00:53:38.360 like, I want my sons and my daughter to do everything I want to do. And I want them to act like me and behave

00:53:42.700 like me and think like me and be interested in the same things as I am. And why it's exhausting and

00:53:48.460 they're, they don't enjoy it. And life isn't always about finding things that are just enjoyable. I'm

00:53:53.500 not saying that, but why, why would I force them to do something they're miserable about like sports,

00:53:59.040 for example? You know, I have one son that loves football. I have another son that likes baseball.

00:54:03.220 I have another one that just wants to wrestle with me the entire time. You know, like that's

00:54:09.540 all is good. All of those are good. You're active, you're sports, you're competition, you're learning

00:54:17.140 from other people. It's all good. And it doesn't need to be the one thing. So what I would say is

00:54:22.060 really look for what they're interested in. If they're interested in the family business, groom them

00:54:25.780 into the family business. My oldest son is very, very interested in it. More to follow on that in the

00:54:30.320 coming weeks. Mother kids, they're younger, but as of right now, they don't seem to express that much

00:54:35.980 interest in it. So my advice is look for what they're interested in and cater to that. Not to

00:54:47.560 make it easy, but just to make life about something they enjoy. All right. All right, guys, we're going

00:54:53.920 to wrap it up there. Lots of good questions today. And I've got a lot more left. I've got another,

00:54:57.900 well, probably two or three dozen questions to get to, and we will, and I'll get through all of

00:55:02.600 them. But we're not going to do it today. We'll get to the rest of them next week. I hope I gave

00:55:07.640 you some things to consider, guys, things to think about. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook,

00:55:12.600 Twitter, wherever you're doing the social media thing. Instagram is best. Take a screenshot,

00:55:16.100 let people know you're listening to this podcast, you're gaining inspiration, you're gaining

00:55:19.680 information. It's important we share this and leave a rating review. And then the last thing I would

00:55:24.380 say is make sure you check out that father-son event called the Legacy Event. That's September

00:55:29.240 23rd to the 26th at orderofman.com slash legacy. You can watch a two or three minute video to see

00:55:34.900 what it's all about and see if it's something you want to take your son to. All right, guys,

00:55:38.260 that's all I've got. Appreciate the great questions and appreciate you being banded in this mission to

00:55:43.120 reclaim and restore masculinity. I'll be back on Friday. Until then, go out there, take action,

00:55:48.280 and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:55:53.460 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:55:57.480 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - May 26, 2021

Choosing a Career, Combating "Woke" Culture, and Advice for First-Time Fathers ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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