Order of Man - Combating Burnout, When Enough is Enough, and Finding Your Next Mission ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.000 Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up, man? Good to see you after the weekend. It's good to be back.

00:00:28.920 It's always nice to start my week off with you, Kip.

00:00:33.420 Well, you know, that's why I'm here, just to make you feel good about yourself.

00:00:36.340 You look good and handsome, by the way, as well.

00:00:39.340 Okay.

00:00:41.660 I mean, thank you.

00:00:42.860 That's the telltale sign that everyone's like, I know he's lying now.

00:00:47.100 That's right. That's right. I see you got the good stuff today, the go instead of the bang.

00:00:52.500 Yeah.

00:00:54.620 I just need my stuff.

00:00:56.180 Did we talk about your favorite flavor?

00:00:57.860 Yeah, it's sniper apple still.

00:01:01.560 Yeah, I think I've officially moved over to orange, but I have some inside knowledge about some new flavors coming out that I'm not sure I can talk about.

00:01:09.360 But stay tuned.

00:01:10.020 Just a little teaser for you guys.

00:01:11.740 Yeah.

00:01:13.680 All right.

00:01:14.420 Well, guys, here we are.

00:01:15.940 Mr. Kip Sorensen and myself going to do the best that we can to answer some questions for you.

00:01:21.960 I mean, we're going to answer them.

00:01:23.140 I don't know if we'll get them right, but we are going to answer them.

00:01:25.180 Yeah, for sure.

00:01:27.840 So, let's get started.

00:01:29.940 Let's do it.

00:01:30.620 All right.

00:01:30.940 Are these coming from Instagram from a couple weeks ago or a week ago or whatever it was?

00:01:34.780 Yeah.

00:01:35.140 Instagram questions.

00:01:36.600 We got flooded, as always, to follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram for an opportunity to submit your questions in the future.

00:01:42.200 You can follow him on Insta, at Ryan Mickler, M-I-C-H-L-E-R.

00:01:47.240 All right.

00:01:47.820 XX, Covenix, when will people say enough is enough with the mob rule, i.e. BLM and Antifa?

00:01:56.360 When do you think enough is enough?

00:01:58.540 I don't know.

00:01:59.080 I don't know what the line is, but my wife and I were talking about this, I think, over the weekend.

00:02:02.800 And here's the deal.

00:02:03.740 We have so much to lose.

00:02:05.900 If we had less to lose, I think we've already hit that line.

00:02:11.420 Yeah.

00:02:11.900 But we're so comfortable.

00:02:13.840 We're so complacent.

00:02:14.960 We have all of our creature comforts.

00:02:16.580 We live in this relative ease of modernity.

00:02:19.160 Like, we have a lot to lose.

00:02:21.200 And because of that, we've become pacified, sedated, domesticated wimps.

00:02:28.940 And until it gets bad enough that it threatens that comfort, or we don't have anything else to lose, I think at that point, people will start standing up to some of the things that we're seeing in culture today.

00:02:46.720 But not when we're sedated.

00:02:49.420 Why would we?

00:02:50.140 Why would we risk that?

00:02:52.680 Yeah.

00:02:53.260 And it's still removed from everybody right now.

00:02:55.540 Right?

00:02:55.800 Like, I'm sure people are fed up.

00:02:57.480 I'm, some people have been enough, right?

00:03:00.200 But it's not a high enough percentage.

00:03:02.000 It's still like, oh, well, that's happening, you know, over there.

00:03:06.600 Right?

00:03:07.160 Not, not in my neighborhood.

00:03:09.260 I was just texting with Ian Smith.

00:03:11.960 He owns a Tillis Gym in New Jersey.

00:03:14.180 A lot of you guys are familiar with him.

00:03:15.340 He was on the podcast months ago.

00:03:18.600 But yeah, man, he, what he's doing is crazy.

00:03:23.500 Like, how he's standing up to Governor Murphy, and he's in court right now.

00:03:29.300 And it's, man, it's a struggle.

00:03:31.760 It's a real struggle for him.

00:03:33.240 When they have had no, I think, I don't want to quote this, but I don't think they've had any confirmed cases of COVID.

00:03:39.120 Or if they have, it's been relatively few.

00:03:42.020 They just want to operate their business.

00:03:43.600 They're smart about the way they're doing it, but for whatever reason, not for whatever reason, we know why, but the government, the state of New Jersey has pointed him out and his business owners and deliberately and intentionally gone after him.

00:04:00.240 So, yeah.

00:04:00.920 And let's, I think it's important to say this, and maybe you can clarify, because you know, Ian, and obviously you guys had a conversation.

00:04:07.900 I don't think he needed to do this.

00:04:11.540 So, like, people need to really, people need to realize, like, that he made a choice because he's standing for what he believes is right.

00:04:22.580 Not because he had to.

00:04:25.600 And so, kind of the suffering that, and there's a little bit of force in his hand, but I really do feel like he decided to take this on.

00:04:33.480 He decided to take this on, and that's memorable, because how many of us would be like, oh, you know what?

00:04:39.900 I can make do.

00:04:41.080 I'm going to skirt around the issue.

00:04:42.480 I'm not going to, like, confront it head on.

00:04:44.520 He chose to confront it head on.

00:04:46.600 So, if you want to support this guy for actually, like, putting his life through hell, possibly, to actually stand for something.

00:04:53.060 No, not possibly.

00:04:53.840 It has been.

00:04:54.460 Yeah.

00:04:54.980 Yeah.

00:04:55.680 Dragging, you know, standing up and putting his life through hell because he wants to stand up for something that he believes in.

00:05:02.120 Man, you should support the guy because he's not doing it just for him.

00:05:07.160 He's doing it for, I'm assuming he's doing it for the greater masses, right, for the greater good.

00:05:13.820 And he's willing to take a stand where a lot of people are not willing to do so.

00:05:19.560 And I'm sure he could have gotten a job somewhere else.

00:05:21.780 He could have adjusted, you know, and bypassed this all.

00:05:25.540 And they have adjusted.

00:05:26.520 You know, they're not just, I think what a lot of people just assume is they're being reckless, 0.99

00:05:30.060 and they're being stupid and careless with their members and their business. 0.99

00:05:33.280 And they're not. 1.00

00:05:33.800 He's adjusted.

00:05:34.660 They've made pivots.

00:05:36.280 They've done things with integrity, I think, you know, and trying to make sure that his members who he serves are being protected and safe.

00:05:46.640 But, yeah, it's interesting.

00:05:49.200 Yeah, if you can support, absolutely, because I know he's going to need it.

00:05:52.040 They're going through the court process right now and potential jail time and permanently closing his business.

00:05:57.060 I mean, it's a real thing.

00:05:58.840 So, yeah, if you can support, please do.

00:06:00.480 But, yeah, it's going to take a lot of guys like that standing up and saying, no, I'm not doing this.

00:06:04.160 Put their foot down and taking some risk.

00:06:06.780 That's what it comes with as well is there's an element of risk to it.

00:06:10.340 And, again, that goes back to that docile, complacent life that we live.

00:06:13.740 Like, we don't want to take those risks because we have so much to lose.

00:06:16.560 Unless that's threatened, it's just going to continue to slip.

00:06:22.440 Yeah.

00:06:23.300 Yeah.

00:06:24.000 Next question.

00:06:25.600 All right.

00:06:26.400 Zach or a Mambo. 0.99

00:06:28.220 Zach.

00:06:29.080 Oh, Zach Rambo.

00:06:31.820 Nice.

00:06:32.860 Rambo.

00:06:33.920 Nice.

00:06:34.720 Every young boy needs to watch The First Blood by age of 12.

00:06:40.620 That's a rite of passage.

00:06:42.560 Yeah.

00:06:43.220 Favorite UFC fighter.

00:06:44.740 It's not a really critical question, but I actually want to know.

00:06:48.120 So, Zach has this question, Red.

00:06:51.240 My favorite UFC fighter.

00:06:54.420 Don't feel tempted just because they've been on the podcast.

00:06:57.280 So, you got to go with favorite all time.

00:07:00.940 Give me a second because I've got a few that I'm trying to debate and decide between.

00:07:04.900 What would you say?

00:07:07.640 GSB.

00:07:09.460 Yeah.

00:07:09.900 That's a legit pick.

00:07:13.660 That wasn't on my list, but as soon as you say that, I'm like, yeah, that's pretty amazing.

00:07:20.040 Gentleman.

00:07:21.680 Humble.

00:07:22.280 Yeah.

00:07:22.460 Seems like he has a lot of class.

00:07:24.600 Great fighter.

00:07:26.080 Yeah.

00:07:26.460 Like, arguably one of the best of all time.

00:07:30.660 Yeah.

00:07:31.100 Oh, for sure.

00:07:31.580 No doubt.

00:07:32.040 You know, in addition to that, I would say I really like DC.

00:07:36.340 I think just the fact that he, it's not even so much his abilities inside the ring, just the fact that he coaches wrestling and he's helping the youth.

00:07:47.300 And he seems to be a pretty good and engaged father that, that to me speaks volumes about him.

00:07:53.400 Maybe, maybe Jake Paul.

00:07:56.160 Yeah.

00:07:56.640 Oh, sure.

00:07:57.280 Yeah.

00:07:57.780 Him and him.

00:07:58.760 And did you see that him in DC getting into it?

00:08:02.340 Yeah. 0.98

00:08:02.780 That stuff, that stuff's ridiculous. 0.79

00:08:04.480 I don't like that stuff. 0.95

00:08:05.680 Dude, Jake.

00:08:06.060 I don't like it either. 1.00

00:08:07.060 I think it's stupid. 0.99

00:08:07.920 I think it looks bad for the sport, but man, he fights Mayweather. 1.00

00:08:11.860 He's cashing in.

00:08:13.380 Would you fight Mayweather?

00:08:14.600 I'd fight Mayweather for millions of dollars.

00:08:17.460 For what he's going to make.

00:08:18.880 I would do it in a second.

00:08:19.500 Yeah.

00:08:19.600 But I don't think, Jake Paul's not fighting him, right?

00:08:21.840 Logan, his brother is, right?

00:08:23.320 I know.

00:08:23.640 But just the fact that he's even a conversation is like, how in the hell did you pull this off as some YouTuber?

00:08:31.360 And now he has people piss off when you're fighting him.

00:08:34.700 People say he's just a YouTuber.

00:08:36.980 Like, I don't, I mean, the guy doesn't deeply resonate with me, but it's clear that he's more than a YouTuber.

00:08:43.360 Let's, let's, let's, let's be real about that.

00:08:46.480 He's, and when people say that there, it's a slight, right?

00:08:50.400 Yeah.

00:08:50.640 But it's clear.

00:08:51.960 Yeah.

00:08:52.920 It's clear that he's more than a YouTuber.

00:08:55.460 Yeah.

00:08:56.300 Does he have a whole lot of depth and substance?

00:08:58.420 Yeah.

00:08:58.580 I don't know.

00:08:59.100 I mean, I don't know the guy, but, and I don't like that tactic, but for what he's trying to accomplish, it seems to be working.

00:09:05.480 Yeah.

00:09:06.040 McGregor.

00:09:06.520 So, so Roney.

00:09:09.680 No, it was like, yeah, Saroni.

00:09:11.960 Yeah.

00:09:12.420 Saroni's up there.

00:09:13.740 Um, McGregor's probably not.

00:09:16.760 Dillashaw.

00:09:17.240 You know, I actually liked McGregor.

00:09:21.180 Over the past year, year and a half, maybe two years, way more.

00:09:26.360 And I'll tell you where it changed for me on McGregor.

00:09:28.600 I've always liked him as a fighter, maybe not necessarily as a person.

00:09:32.480 Again, I don't know him, but this is from my perspective, but what really turned it for me is his demeanor in the Saroni when he fought Saroni.

00:09:42.920 Yeah.

00:09:43.860 There was just something about him that was completely different.

00:09:46.880 It was a level of confidence and maturity and that, that really got my attention.

00:09:53.020 Stipe of course is on that list, but again, that comes back to not only his behavior and his performance in the ring, but what he does outside of the ring.

00:10:01.740 I mean, there's just so many, there's just so many, but yeah, Saroni is awesome.

00:10:05.660 I would say maybe Saroni DC or Stipe are high on my list.

00:10:09.660 Yeah.

00:10:10.240 Yeah.

00:10:10.600 Now that I think about it, I'd say my top three would be GSP, probably BJ Penn, and then Saroni.

00:10:18.500 And, and, and the reason why Cowboy is so cool is just his willingness to take fights.

00:10:24.620 Anytime, anytime, any place.

00:10:26.760 All the time.

00:10:27.700 Like, I believe he, didn't he have like, he had a surgery where like an intestines got like jacked up on an ATV.

00:10:35.000 And I think he took a fight like within a few weeks after, like the guy.

00:10:39.220 Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me. 0.96

00:10:40.600 The guy's just crazy. 0.99

00:10:42.340 Yeah. 0.97

00:10:42.920 Yeah.

00:10:43.380 I met him.

00:10:44.160 I met him years ago.

00:10:45.620 Solid dude.

00:10:46.620 I actually had a phone call with him.

00:10:49.040 I would say maybe five, six months ago, talked to him and he was just out working his farm and his ranch and he was on a tractor and just working the land, you know?

00:10:57.200 So yeah, pretty, pretty cool guy.

00:10:59.380 Yeah.

00:10:59.760 Yeah.

00:11:00.340 Super cool.

00:11:01.100 All right.

00:11:01.920 Caleb McDaddy.

00:11:03.520 I like it.

00:11:04.520 Old McDaddy.

00:11:05.820 Old McDaddy.

00:11:06.980 Kind of a specific question.

00:11:08.620 We like those, by the way.

00:11:10.600 Um, I'm in the middle of better questions.

00:11:12.680 I mean, look, let's like, it's how you answer is we need.

00:11:15.920 Well, and the phrase you guys have heard me say a lot is the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of questions that you ask.

00:11:21.460 Like that's true.

00:11:22.880 If you ask broad, generalized, weak questions, you're going to get broad, generalized, weak answers because you're not giving anybody anything to work with.

00:11:34.260 But if you ask hyper-specific, hyper-focused results oriented, performance-based questions, you're going to get answers that are going to facilitate the growth that you're looking for.

00:11:44.960 So if you say, well, you know, like, how do you be a good person?

00:11:48.140 I mean, it's a good thing to consider, but it's probably not a great question.

00:11:53.040 What does good look like?

00:11:54.260 What is good specific?

00:11:55.440 What areas?

00:11:56.340 Yeah.

00:11:56.580 Or if you ask a guy, a strength trainer, for example, well, how do you get strong?

00:12:03.600 You lift weights.

00:12:05.160 Well, that's pretty broad.

00:12:06.360 Well, so is how do you get strong?

00:12:07.880 What is it that you're trying to do?

00:12:10.520 What are you trying to accomplish?

00:12:11.820 How soon do you want to get it done?

00:12:13.540 What's your background?

00:12:14.640 Like, give me something to work with so people can actually give you a good answer that you can apply in your life.

00:12:20.760 So sounds like this is a specific question.

00:12:23.340 So that's good.

00:12:23.860 Yeah.

00:12:24.220 So this brother, Caleb, he's in the infantry military.

00:12:28.200 He brings that up because most days he doesn't know what he's doing for work until he gets there.

00:12:32.660 It makes my day really hard to plan out because I don't know when I'm going home or what short breaks or recesses are going to come.

00:12:40.320 I feel that other men possibly have the same issue.

00:12:45.940 So how do you get around and have a cadence around a schedule that is so hectic and doesn't really provide space for planning?

00:12:58.320 Yeah.

00:12:58.440 I mean, this would be hard for me because I operate best under regimented schedules.

00:13:01.820 Here's my wake-up time.

00:13:03.180 Here's what I do first.

00:13:04.020 Here's what I do next and so on.

00:13:05.520 And so it's very, very regimented and that works best for me.

00:13:08.580 I'll give you a metaphor based on jujitsu like we talk about all the time.

00:13:16.600 So I was rolling with Ty Nichols.

00:13:19.100 Ty's probably – I hover between 190 to 200 is my weight.

00:13:24.420 Ty's probably, I would say, 160 to 170 if I had to guess, somewhere in there.

00:13:30.360 Super strong, but light, mobile, fast, agile.

00:13:35.840 And I was rolling with him the other day and he was like floating on top of me wherever he wanted to go.

00:13:42.120 He was just like, move here.

00:13:43.800 I would change.

00:13:44.480 He'd float to this other side.

00:13:45.620 I would change.

00:13:46.220 He'd float around.

00:13:46.880 He'd do this.

00:13:47.300 He'd do this.

00:13:47.760 Throwing me in arm locks, headlocks, loop chokes, everything.

00:13:50.800 I was like – it was embarrassing actually because I'm better than that.

00:13:56.180 He's good and he's getting really good.

00:13:58.220 He's probably getting close to his purple belt at this point, but he's super good.

00:14:01.900 But the reason I bring it up is that he's very good at adapting and adjusting

00:14:06.520 and then anticipating what's going to happen.

00:14:09.600 He's very, very good at that on the mats.

00:14:11.920 And he'll actually tee those things up.

00:14:13.820 But as he does that, he'll do something and you'll move

00:14:17.280 and he'll adjust before you've finished moving because he's anticipating what's going to happen

00:14:22.880 and he's agile.

00:14:24.060 He's able to move that way.

00:14:25.440 And that's what you need to be with a schedule like you have.

00:14:29.340 You need to be agile.

00:14:31.400 You need to be able to float and move and adapt when this thing comes up.

00:14:36.400 Then you need to pivot and adjust and you need to be able to do that on the fly

00:14:41.340 because if you don't, you're just going to be frustrated and pissed off.

00:14:45.040 If you're so rigid that it has to be this certain way,

00:14:49.060 you're going to be bent out of shape and pissed off that it's not that way.

00:14:52.660 Well, this is the reality.

00:14:53.680 This is what you're dealing with.

00:14:55.160 So you might have certain things throughout the day that you need to check off the list.

00:14:59.280 I need to work out.

00:15:00.880 I need to plan my day out.

00:15:03.820 I need to eat correctly.

00:15:05.780 I want to make sure that my family knows I care about them.

00:15:08.120 I want to get my job done proficiently.

00:15:10.060 And so you have these boxes you want to check off.

00:15:12.520 But in your circumstance and other men who are listening that have these same circumstances,

00:15:17.040 you just can't plug them into the same place.

00:15:21.000 You just have to be okay with knowing that it's not always going to be at 6 a.m.

00:15:28.140 your workouts.

00:15:29.040 Sometimes it's going to be at 4 in the afternoon.

00:15:31.240 And what you can begin to do is you can begin to look at what types of days you're having.

00:15:36.440 You could, for example, consider a day that, and I'm just throwing these out here.

00:15:41.400 It's arbitrary.

00:15:42.400 It could be completely off, but you'll understand the point.

00:15:45.020 You could look at a day that starts, for example, at 6 and ends at 5 as this is my traditional day.

00:15:52.680 So that's the traditional day.

00:15:54.380 On the traditional day, here's my schedule.

00:15:56.800 Here's what I do.

00:15:58.460 Okay.

00:15:58.640 A non-traditional day is we're going to work in the morning.

00:16:02.620 We're going to take a long break, and then we're going to have to come back that evening.

00:16:06.560 That's your quote-unquote non-traditional day.

00:16:09.300 So you start placing these days in different categories because you'll start to notice trends.

00:16:14.220 It's not always going to be so sporadic.

00:16:16.260 No, they're going to fit into 3 or 4 or 5 maybe types of days.

00:16:20.040 And you base your schedule on each of those days.

00:16:23.300 So you're like, okay, this is an A day.

00:16:24.840 Here's what I do on A days.

00:16:26.640 This is a B day.

00:16:27.500 Here's what I do on B days.

00:16:28.380 This is an F day.

00:16:29.100 Here's what I do on F days.

00:16:29.920 And so you start placing these in categories so you can still systematize it, but you've

00:16:34.580 created some flexibility and adaptability in your planning and processes.

00:16:38.260 That's what I would do.

00:16:39.400 And I've done that because I used to work retail.

00:16:43.020 So I would have to work.

00:16:45.600 Sometimes it was opening the store.

00:16:47.280 Sometimes it was a middle shift.

00:16:48.880 Sometimes it was closing the store out.

00:16:50.580 Sometimes on long weekends or holiday weekends or Christmas, the month of December, end of

00:16:56.860 November, it was working all day, every day.

00:17:01.020 But again, you build schedules based on what types of days are taking place because there's

00:17:06.460 only so many schedules that you can run.

00:17:10.300 Well, and I think two additional thoughts is one, you got to act on the moment, right?

00:17:17.120 When I think about times where I'm most agile, it's I take advantage of the moment and I'm

00:17:23.580 ready for the moment.

00:17:25.060 So I keep a guy in my car.

00:17:27.480 Why?

00:17:28.940 Because if that meeting gets scheduled or canceled today at noon, I'm going to go train.

00:17:35.460 It's not on the radar.

00:17:36.640 It's not even planned today.

00:17:38.580 But if that meeting gets scheduled or something changes, I'm ready to go train immediately.

00:17:43.960 That means I can't procrastinate.

00:17:45.680 I can't go, oh, you know what?

00:17:47.640 I wasn't ready.

00:17:48.880 You know, I'll just do it some other time.

00:17:50.340 Then it won't happen, right?

00:17:51.560 And so I'm thinking about like a really crazy schedule.

00:17:53.840 It's like, I got to get my workout in today.

00:17:55.980 I don't know when, but guess what's in my car?

00:17:58.480 Guess what's in my bag?

00:17:59.400 My gym clothes.

00:18:00.420 So the minute someone says, hey, we're taking an hour break.

00:18:02.920 It's like, bam, taking advantage of the moment.

00:18:06.400 I'm going to go work out immediately right now.

00:18:08.600 The other thing that came to mind too is I think you have to be a little unreasonable

00:18:14.020 sometimes with a crazy schedule like that.

00:18:16.820 And I had, my weekend was really crazy.

00:18:20.240 Asia had a girl's trip, left Friday night.

00:18:23.480 I do distance runs on Saturdays.

00:18:25.440 I have kids with me.

00:18:27.340 I'm not going to push my two-year-old for 12 miles on a run.

00:18:30.980 Like he's not going to last.

00:18:32.080 So I'm thinking, when can I work out?

00:18:36.500 Sunday night. 0.89

00:18:37.680 That sucks. 0.99

00:18:39.040 Probably run in the dark. 0.99

00:18:40.820 Oh, well.

00:18:42.100 Make it happen.

00:18:42.860 Right.

00:18:43.380 Or you run three miles instead of 12 with your kid.

00:18:46.240 You know, like you can probably last three months, right?

00:18:48.460 Exactly.

00:18:48.960 Or maybe I can get a five in and then a three and a two, and that's better than nothing.

00:18:53.640 Right?

00:18:53.940 So it's, you have to kind of be a little unreasonable and be committed to whatever it is

00:18:59.660 that you're trying to accomplish.

00:19:01.020 I think ultimately, those are great points.

00:19:04.000 I mean, those are very practical points, but I think ultimately this comes down to

00:19:09.000 expectations, unmet expectations, right?

00:19:14.240 You want it to be a certain way.

00:19:15.880 I want my schedule to be this.

00:19:17.480 I want this to happen this way.

00:19:19.620 And it's just not going to happen that way.

00:19:21.520 So you could do one of two things.

00:19:23.080 You could be completely pissed and bent out of shape and this should be this way.

00:19:26.640 And I can't throw your hands up, by the way.

00:19:28.760 Most guys will throw their hands up.

00:19:30.000 Oh, it shouldn't be, have to be this way.

00:19:31.700 So I'm not going to do or do anything.

00:19:33.920 Exactly.

00:19:34.620 So that's one avenue.

00:19:35.900 Or you can say, no, this is the reality.

00:19:38.440 I may not like it.

00:19:39.580 I may want to pivot to something else, which is a completely reasonable consideration.

00:19:45.100 Yeah.

00:19:45.460 But in the meantime, this is the way it is.

00:19:49.000 Let's not have any expectations.

00:19:51.240 Let's not be all pissed off and bent out of shape about our own current circumstance.

00:19:55.340 That goes to what you were saying.

00:19:56.740 And then be present in the moment.

00:19:58.600 So like you said, pivot, adjust, tweak, change.

00:20:01.160 But don't drone on about how this shouldn't be this way.

00:20:07.900 And it's so hard.

00:20:08.800 Okay.

00:20:08.980 It is.

00:20:09.840 So what now?

00:20:11.200 And then you move into a solution-oriented mindset.

00:20:14.640 Like Carol Dweck, I think would say, the growth versus the fixed mindset.

00:20:19.720 Move into the growth mindset, which is, hey, what opportunities are presenting themselves

00:20:25.100 because of this situation?

00:20:27.280 How can I get better?

00:20:28.040 How can I improve?

00:20:28.720 How can I learn to be creative, to come up with some solutions on demand, to build up

00:20:33.120 resilience, to build up discipline?

00:20:35.180 A lot of great opportunities here.

00:20:36.520 Yeah, that comment that you just made of unset or unmet expectations and dealing in reality

00:20:46.560 or dealing with what is so, is so profound.

00:20:50.840 I mean, disrupted relationship, upset with someone.

00:20:56.220 It's like, stop.

00:20:57.520 Client-employee relationship.

00:20:59.900 You have some expectation, but the reality is, is this.

00:21:03.640 So deal in reality, deal with what is so.

00:21:07.380 What are you going to do about it?

00:21:09.340 Yeah.

00:21:09.600 Let go of the meaning.

00:21:11.020 And if you don't like, and here's what you need to hear though.

00:21:15.220 We're not saying just be, just settle with reality.

00:21:18.880 Complacent.

00:21:19.300 Yeah.

00:21:19.660 Right.

00:21:20.200 We're saying acknowledge reality so you can do something about it, which is either to

00:21:26.220 pivot, to adjust, to be creative, to come up with different solutions or change your

00:21:30.140 reality.

00:21:30.860 But you have to look at it correctly first.

00:21:34.180 Because if you're making things up about the current situation, you're not giving yourself

00:21:39.040 the foothold or the framework to create reasonable solutions to your perceived problems.

00:21:46.000 Yeah.

00:21:46.180 And most people, it cripples them even.

00:21:48.140 Like they'll be so set on the fact that they shouldn't have to be doing X that they just

00:21:54.700 won't even take action because they shouldn't have to, you know?

00:21:58.460 Right.

00:21:59.060 And this is a big problem.

00:22:00.120 Take action.

00:22:00.360 This is a big problem too, with this, this whole victim mindset where people look, there,

00:22:06.820 there are actual victims.

00:22:08.840 You know, when I say that some people will come back and inevitably say, well, you know,

00:22:12.160 some people actually, yes, I acknowledge that some people have been victimized.

00:22:16.840 Absolutely.

00:22:18.140 But they should still do something.

00:22:19.860 They should still become better.

00:22:22.620 Right.

00:22:23.400 Exactly.

00:22:23.960 You know, if, if, if, if you're a, if you're an employee and your boss continues to miss

00:22:32.960 his agreements that he's made with you, you know, that, that is a form of somebody else

00:22:39.580 taking advantage of you or manipulating you that, that is beyond your control to a degree.

00:22:46.320 But then at some point you have to acknowledge that this is what's happening and you need to

00:22:52.340 come up with a solution by either being more assertive in your current position or finding

00:22:56.800 work elsewhere.

00:22:58.440 Like don't just stay there forever.

00:23:00.380 It's the same thing with abusive relationships.

00:23:02.820 If, if, if you're a man or a woman who's an abusive relationship, physical, mental, whatever

00:23:07.420 that, that somebody else is abusing you.

00:23:10.800 They're taking advantage of you, but it's still your responsibility to get out of that situation

00:23:17.720 in that environment.

00:23:18.540 Just because somebody's taking advantage of you does not tie your hands and mean that

00:23:23.600 you no longer have any responsibility in the matter.

00:23:26.320 You do.

00:23:26.940 It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to put yourself in a better situation.

00:23:31.880 Yeah.

00:23:32.500 And I think it's important to address the person that, well, this happened to me, Ryan, a long

00:23:37.680 time ago.

00:23:38.620 Yeah.

00:23:39.120 Right.

00:23:39.420 And it, because those people are like, well, there's nothing I could do about it.

00:23:42.520 It's over.

00:23:43.500 Right.

00:23:43.940 And, and it's, it's already written on me.

00:23:46.240 The one thing that I would suggest for, for those of you that feel hindered by some past

00:23:51.660 experience, even your interpretation of what occurred to you is not accurate.

00:23:58.460 It's still an interpretation.

00:24:01.380 And, and, and, and the probability is your interpretation of that event is probably more

00:24:07.000 damaging to you than what actually occurred.

00:24:09.880 And, and I'm thinking about like parents, abusive parents, you know, what the most damaging

00:24:16.020 thing of a, of a parent that was probably abusive to a child when you were younger is

00:24:21.040 the fact that you felt your parents did not love you, that what it meant that you're not

00:24:26.060 good enough, that you will never be good enough.

00:24:28.240 That interpretation is probably more dangerous than the physical harm in which your parents

00:24:33.660 had.

00:24:35.200 Yeah, I agree.

00:24:36.900 So, I mean, at some point we have to be, become mature men and acknowledge the situations

00:24:44.600 for what they are, even if they were scary or demanding or difficult or challenging or

00:24:50.680 dangerous, acknowledge it for what it is and then say, okay, well, I'm not going to allow

00:24:56.680 that to happen anymore.

00:24:57.560 And here's my path forward.

00:24:59.560 Here's how I'm going to improve in spite of this.

00:25:02.400 Well, because of this situation.

00:25:04.400 Totally.

00:25:05.440 Totally.

00:25:05.680 All right.

00:25:05.860 Next question.

00:25:07.520 All right.

00:25:09.120 Owlski77, how do you feel about people copying you, basically doing the same general thing?

00:25:15.420 Good.

00:25:15.640 Is it good because it helps the cause or bad because it can draw attention when people take

00:25:19.920 it too far?

00:25:21.140 And I think this is a kind of a good question because I think it's, how's this?

00:25:26.240 When I read this question, I'm like, oh, this is so specific for Ryan, but, but I think

00:25:29.860 we might have areas, all of us might have areas in our life where, I don't know, we're at

00:25:34.220 work and a coworker's like, quote unquote, stealing your idea and doing it.

00:25:39.840 And how do you, how can we be okay with it?

00:25:42.540 You know, go ahead.

00:25:43.840 Yeah.

00:25:44.000 I mean, there's, there's things where it's like blatantly knocking off what we do, whether

00:25:47.660 it's a phrase or a system that we use or our logo or, or motto where, where people would

00:25:54.260 blatantly rip it off that I have legal protection in place.

00:25:58.480 Yeah.

00:25:58.960 Like we, we do the trademark thing.

00:26:00.720 We do the copyright thing.

00:26:01.840 Like I, I have made sure that we protect ourselves from that, from that type of, uh, infringement,

00:26:09.520 copyright infringement.

00:26:10.340 That's, that's intellectual property, right?

00:26:12.120 That, that is valuable.

00:26:13.340 That's mine.

00:26:14.360 People can't steal it.

00:26:15.580 Now, if somebody wants to start something similar or has an idea or wants to do what we're

00:26:21.360 doing, I, I actually like that.

00:26:23.780 We have programs and courses that teach other men how to do what it is we're doing that I've,

00:26:29.280 that I've made available.

00:26:30.100 I've taught people at a podcast, I've taught people how to build movements, somebody who's

00:26:34.240 doing something similar to what we're doing.

00:26:36.160 I should, the better way to frame it would for me to say, I'm doing something similar to

00:26:40.540 him is it hired.

00:26:42.540 I hired him when I very first started and he coached and showed me.

00:26:46.820 So there's no, you deal with that though.

00:26:48.520 How do you get past the scarcity mentality, Ryan, of like, I got to keep this to myself.

00:26:53.600 Otherwise it's going to diminish the value that you, that you bring you to the table.

00:26:57.740 Here's how there's, there's, I'm going to make a broad generalization here, but there's

00:27:03.600 really only two types of individuals that, that would do this.

00:27:07.700 Okay.

00:27:08.320 Either they're, they're going to, you could tell them everything about what you're doing

00:27:13.220 to, to the T, every little thing, spell it all out.

00:27:17.280 And they still wouldn't do it.

00:27:20.080 The other type of person.

00:27:21.440 Because they're not willing to work.

00:27:22.880 Right.

00:27:23.140 They just think you just show up and it's, yes.

00:27:26.260 So that's a, that's a type of individual.

00:27:28.220 There's another type of individual who, this is the type of individual I tend to be.

00:27:33.760 And I was, as we started order of man, who will hire a coach or look at what somebody

00:27:39.640 else is doing and, and mimic it and make it their own, or they'll, they'll do everything

00:27:46.380 to the T again, that their coach tells them to do.

00:27:49.100 And here's the interesting thing about that.

00:27:51.340 That person was going to do it even without me.

00:27:55.520 Right.

00:27:55.920 So somebody comes to me and they're doing something similar to what I'm doing.

00:27:58.480 And they come to me and they say, Hey, Ryan, you know, I really like what you're doing.

00:28:01.020 Um, I'm, I'm considering, uh, starting something similar, growing something, a movement similar

00:28:06.000 to what you're doing.

00:28:07.220 If it's that type of individual, they're going to do it with or without me.

00:28:11.740 So if I can help them, I can be an ally and I'd rather be an ally to these individuals.

00:28:16.940 And here's what I know.

00:28:18.800 Those people like that are going to do it again without, without me, or they're just not going

00:28:24.600 to last.

00:28:25.120 Like I, there's been, there's so many people who have started to do what we've done over

00:28:30.860 the past six years.

00:28:32.800 Some have mimicked us.

00:28:33.960 Some have blatantly tried to rip us off and copy exactly verbatim what we're doing.

00:28:38.920 And I just know that those individuals, the majority of them just aren't going to last.

00:28:42.840 They don't.

00:28:43.920 That's the one thing I know about myself in spite of all of my other flaws and shortcomings.

00:28:49.940 I'm going to be in this game forever.

00:28:52.400 As long as I have a desire to be in it, there's nothing.

00:28:55.140 As long as my desire is still there, there's nothing that's going to take me out of this game.

00:28:58.720 Nothing.

00:29:00.940 That's not everybody can say that they're flippant.

00:29:04.320 They're, they're, they're, they're hectic.

00:29:06.800 They, they think about different things.

00:29:08.080 They bounce from thing to thing and task to task project.

00:29:10.400 Well, Ryan, how's your podcast been so successful?

00:29:12.880 Because we've done it for six years and we have not missed a single episode.

00:29:19.240 It's over 700 podcasts.

00:29:21.440 We haven't missed a single episode.

00:29:23.880 So how am I so good at it?

00:29:27.060 How is it so successful?

00:29:28.740 That's the answer.

00:29:30.160 Yeah.

00:29:30.580 And you're good looking.

00:29:31.520 Like I mentioned earlier.

00:29:32.740 Well, that, that just goes without saying, I don't even think I needed to say that.

00:29:36.540 Yeah.

00:29:37.920 So I don't, I don't mind when somebody wants to do something similar.

00:29:42.760 If somebody, if somebody comes to me and they ask for guidance and direction,

00:29:46.440 you know, if they want to have a call, like a one-to-one call with me, I don't do that.

00:29:50.880 I do that with my coaching clients only, but if they came to me and they had like one specific

00:29:55.700 question, like, Hey, what about this?

00:29:58.060 I'm going to help that.

00:29:58.980 And why wouldn't I help that individual?

00:30:00.980 Now I'm not going to give them the phone numbers to my vendors and all the backend legal

00:30:05.380 ramp.

00:30:05.720 Like, I'm not going to do that, but I'm going to give them the thoughts and the ideas so

00:30:08.140 that they can go out and learn to do it for themselves.

00:30:12.260 And, and, and I want to, I mean, I don't want to dive into this too much, but like, is that

00:30:16.620 just confidence?

00:30:17.440 I mean, you can do that because you have the confidence that, that helping that individual

00:30:23.520 is not going to take away from what you're doing.

00:30:25.500 It's not going to hinder this movement.

00:30:27.280 Yeah.

00:30:27.420 But it's not the confidence it's not.

00:30:29.840 And that's what we need to be careful of because some, sometimes men believe that.

00:30:34.080 Or your commitment.

00:30:35.740 No, it's my work.

00:30:38.580 It's my work ethic.

00:30:40.560 Yeah.

00:30:41.440 It's not the confidence.

00:30:42.720 The confidence is just the result of my work ethic.

00:30:45.160 So what a lot of men believe is some men are just more confident than others just because

00:30:49.800 no, that isn't true.

00:30:51.260 They've earned it.

00:30:52.460 So let's not, let's not point to the result of the actual solution as why I can feel the

00:31:02.240 way I feel.

00:31:03.280 It's not confidence.

00:31:04.680 It's not commitment.

00:31:05.640 It's my work ethic.

00:31:06.940 It's the fact that I've worked my balls off for six years on this one thing, hyper-focused

00:31:14.300 on this one thing for six years that has developed and built the confidence for me to say, it's

00:31:21.980 okay if somebody wants to do something similar.

00:31:24.040 Because I'll tell you, when I started, I took that more as a threat.

00:31:27.480 I didn't have the abundance that I did, that I do now.

00:31:32.220 And I was significantly more scarce because I hadn't earned that level of confidence through

00:31:37.660 the, the, the work ethic that I had put in.

00:31:41.220 Got it.

00:31:41.960 So yeah, start, do it, start it, you know?

00:31:44.840 And look, I'm inspired.

00:31:45.920 There's guys that I've helped that have started different things and branched off in different

00:31:49.600 ways that I've actually been inspired by.

00:31:52.040 Oh man, that's a good idea.

00:31:53.080 And, and then I've incorporated some of those ideas into what I'm doing.

00:31:56.460 So it goes, it goes both ways.

00:31:59.280 Here's what I would say though, because there are a lot of men who are listening to this

00:32:03.760 podcast who want to do things that we're doing.

00:32:05.920 Just do it in your own way.

00:32:07.560 That's all I, that's all I suggest.

00:32:09.400 Not because I'm scared or whatever, but because you're going to be more successful if you do

00:32:14.140 it your way.

00:32:15.000 When I started order of man, I was making something that was very, very similar to art of manliness.

00:32:20.360 And fortunately I realized very, very quickly.

00:32:24.100 And I had one individual who said something to me, it was very abrasive the way that he

00:32:30.320 said it.

00:32:30.720 And I was taken back at first, but the more I thought about it, I was like, oh, and he

00:32:35.820 was asking how, essentially how I was different from art of manliness.

00:32:40.120 And it just kind of caught me though.

00:32:41.560 I can't even remember exactly the way he said it, but the way he said it, I was like, well, 0.81

00:32:44.220 I found a jerk thing to say, but, oh, but yeah, that actually makes sense. 0.55

00:32:48.340 And so very quickly I pivoted, adjusted, started to make it my own. 0.85

00:32:52.260 And it's no surprise now looking back that when order of man started to take off, it

00:32:57.240 was when I stopped doing it like art of manliness or Sean Whalen with lions, not sheep, or any

00:33:03.100 of these other Garrett white or any of these other programs that are out there that are

00:33:06.520 well-known and started to do it my own way that we really got traction and intention.

00:33:12.580 Yeah.

00:33:13.080 Yeah, for sure.

00:33:13.760 All right, Mikey G 40.

00:33:16.380 Hello, Mr. Mickler.

00:33:17.200 I've been a follower for order of man for about two years and a two and a half years now.

00:33:22.300 My wife had been having a very hard time with her mental toughness and stability. 1.00

00:33:26.760 I've tried to encourage, uh, I've tried encouragement, tough love, and even given the gym has, I can't

00:33:34.580 read today and have even gone to the gym with her to help.

00:33:38.400 How can I get her more motivated and help her achieve her goals?

00:33:41.540 Have you experienced this yourself?

00:33:44.160 I have not experienced it too much because my wife is pretty motivated, not pretty motivated. 0.99

00:33:51.080 She's very motivated.

00:33:53.460 So fortunately I haven't had to ever feel like I need to inspire here, but here's what I would

00:33:58.600 say.

00:33:58.780 You're, you're talking about going to the gym and motivating her and talking with her

00:34:03.880 and all this.

00:34:04.340 Can I have an ask really quick as you answer this, you know, maybe we say, you know, your

00:34:10.320 spouse and maybe even some sites of, you know, uh, a child, you know, you have a child that

00:34:16.600 Oh, for sure.

00:34:17.440 It's the same.

00:34:18.140 It's one of the same.

00:34:18.920 Yeah.

00:34:19.260 Okay.

00:34:19.660 I just want to, yeah, the answers are one of the same.

00:34:21.720 Okay.

00:34:21.880 Sometimes I think we, as men have a tendency of placing our own views and perspectives and

00:34:31.000 expectations on the shoulders of others.

00:34:34.820 We do this.

00:34:35.840 We do this with our children.

00:34:37.200 Certainly, especially our sons, like our first born son is like the son who needs to follow

00:34:42.480 in dad's footsteps and he needs to do what dad does and he needs to act like him and he

00:34:46.720 needs to behave like him.

00:34:47.940 And he needs to say the same things like him.

00:34:50.680 They won't, by the way.

00:34:51.920 No, they won't.

00:34:52.720 Yeah.

00:34:53.120 And not only will they not, you'll actually, you'll actually drive them away from you.

00:34:58.980 And therefore you won't have the opportunities to train and coach and teach and motivate and

00:35:05.220 inspire because they despise you because you try to pigeonhole them into something that

00:35:11.620 they weren't excited about.

00:35:12.940 But we do this with our spouses too.

00:35:15.600 Well, how come she doesn't want to work out? 1.00

00:35:17.280 And how come she doesn't want to read the self-help book?

00:35:19.120 And how come she won't even listen to one of my podcasts?

00:35:21.920 Right.

00:35:22.720 Because she's not motivated by the same things you are, which doesn't mean she's not motivated.

00:35:27.900 That's the conclusion a lot of us come to.

00:35:29.540 That's the conclusion I used to come to.

00:35:31.660 If she doesn't do it the same way, well, she just doesn't care about being good.

00:35:36.620 Self-improvement, self-development, motivation, inspiring.

00:35:39.160 You know, she doesn't care about that stuff. 1.00

00:35:40.980 No, maybe she does.

00:35:42.100 She just doesn't care about it in the same lens that you do.

00:35:44.740 So yeah, she's looking at it through a different lens.

00:35:47.440 And I've realized this over the past, I would say five, six, seven years now, maybe slightly

00:35:51.500 longer, but somewhere in there, I realized, oh, she actually is very motivated and she's

00:35:57.120 very disciplined.

00:35:58.640 We spent the last, I would say of the last 48 hours, because we're recording on Monday,

00:36:03.420 we spent probably, I would say at least half, 25 to maybe even 30 hours over the past two

00:36:12.320 days outside working in her garden, building garden boxes, putting dirt, filling up garden

00:36:19.460 boxes.

00:36:19.900 She's planting with the kids.

00:36:21.800 I built a couple of new planters, mowing the lawn.

00:36:25.000 Like we were outside doing all of this and she didn't, she wasn't unmotivated.

00:36:30.860 It wasn't, I didn't have to convince her to go out there.

00:36:34.020 It was none of that.

00:36:35.260 It was simply, let's go do it.

00:36:37.960 And here's the difference.

00:36:39.520 We support them in that, right?

00:36:43.320 It's, it's human psychology.

00:36:45.680 You, you reward positive behavior.

00:36:50.280 So it sounds weird saying in this frame, she's exhibiting positive behavior.

00:36:54.600 It's weird to say it like that, right?

00:36:56.600 But it is, that's what I'd actually like out of her as a wife.

00:37:00.080 I want her to be motivated.

00:37:01.420 I want her to be inspired.

00:37:02.920 I want her to be interested in her own things.

00:37:05.220 I want her to improve herself as my wife would expect. 1.00

00:37:09.680 Of course.

00:37:10.160 Yeah, of course.

00:37:10.880 So when she does those things of her own accord, or even if with a little prodding,

00:37:16.520 maybe from me here and there, then I'm going to reward that by encouraging that behavior.

00:37:22.200 How do you encourage that with a wife? 0.99

00:37:24.020 You spend time with them doing it.

00:37:26.520 That's a big one.

00:37:28.520 You don't have to be totally bought into it, but you should be at least interested in it.

00:37:32.940 Yeah.

00:37:33.940 You, you, you help, you assist, you support, you encourage, you foster, you, you, you,

00:37:39.020 you, you celebrate when they do well.

00:37:42.300 This goes for kids too, like you were saying earlier.

00:37:44.680 So I think everybody's motivated by some, by something.

00:37:50.240 I also think other, everybody's demotivated by things.

00:37:54.940 And maybe you're just touching on the things that aren't motivating to her.

00:37:58.600 And you could just spend a little more time.

00:38:00.860 Yeah.

00:38:01.680 Exploring.

00:38:02.980 You know, if I told my wife, Hey, we're going to go do jujitsu and you're going to come

00:38:06.100 and we're going to do this.

00:38:06.800 And this is how you're going to stay in shape.

00:38:07.880 And you're going to love it.

00:38:09.180 Yeah.

00:38:09.440 Every minute of it.

00:38:10.260 She's like, I'm not doing that.

00:38:11.480 And of course, every number one, North and South.

00:38:16.900 Every now, now you got me.

00:38:19.540 Sorry.

00:38:20.700 Every, uh, every time we'd go would be a battle.

00:38:24.480 However, she loves CrossFit.

00:38:27.360 Good.

00:38:28.100 Great.

00:38:28.700 Same.

00:38:29.500 You're getting in shape.

00:38:30.440 You're being physical.

00:38:31.200 Like this.

00:38:32.120 I have no problem with that.

00:38:33.320 Why would I?

00:38:33.740 Yeah.

00:38:33.860 So much that she got certified, right?

00:38:36.040 Yeah.

00:38:36.320 Yeah.

00:38:36.520 Just about a month or so ago.

00:38:38.480 Yeah.

00:38:38.580 Yeah.

00:38:38.960 And I didn't have to tell her she should go get certified by the way.

00:38:42.080 Yeah.

00:38:42.900 Like I didn't say, Helen, you should, you know, you should really know what I, what

00:38:46.800 I did is when she came to me and said, she's going to do this.

00:38:49.140 I said, that's awesome.

00:38:50.640 You should do that.

00:38:51.980 What can I do to help you study and train for it and everything else?

00:38:55.260 And then she took her test and I think we celebrated it.

00:38:59.400 We probably did dinner that night or something, you know, so it's good.

00:39:03.100 Yeah.

00:39:03.900 Cool.

00:39:04.660 One thing that might help, man, I wish I had my notes from the book.

00:39:10.560 What book did we read two months ago in iron council part of impossible?

00:39:14.760 Yeah, he, he has a, he has a section in the book where he breaks down what is motivation

00:39:22.460 and he comprises motivation of three things.

00:39:26.240 I can't remember all three, but one of them is clarity of purpose and goal.

00:39:32.920 I mean, sometimes we're not motivated because we don't, we don't see what's possible, right?

00:39:37.540 It's not clear in our mind.

00:39:39.180 So why would I work out if I, if I don't know what that's going to provide me, right?

00:39:44.400 And so I would really dive in, maybe read that book and dive into like, what really drives

00:39:49.700 people from a psychology perspective to get motivate, motivated and, and to be able to

00:39:55.440 act on things there, there might be some, you know what I mean?

00:39:58.680 Yeah.

00:39:58.960 Atomic habit, habit looping and some other stuff there too.

00:40:02.460 So there's another good book called coactive coaching.

00:40:04.920 And, and I, I read that book years ago, but, and I thought it would help me with this movement

00:40:11.380 and it has, but I didn't know it would help me as much as it had with raising my children

00:40:16.200 and leading my wife because co-active coaching, co-active coaching.

00:40:22.060 Got it.

00:40:22.460 Yeah.

00:40:22.800 So a lot of the times we think, because we're assertive when we want to, we want to exert

00:40:26.900 ourselves and our will, and we want things to be done right.

00:40:29.280 I do anyways, that's kind of my personality.

00:40:31.300 And so I would be a taskmaster, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, do this,

00:40:35.580 do that.

00:40:35.980 And everything would be demanding.

00:40:38.180 And here's a task and get this done.

00:40:40.120 My wife, my kids, but co-active coaching is a different philosophy.

00:40:44.780 And instead you're, you're leading them, you're guiding them, you're walking them through

00:40:48.420 their own scenarios.

00:40:49.260 And so you're asking questions to go back to what we said earlier about asking powerful

00:40:53.940 questions that move the conversation forward, trying to elicit desires like you're talking

00:41:00.160 about from them.

00:41:01.220 What are you interested in?

00:41:02.680 Not what I'm not, I'm going to tell you what you should be interested in, but really trying

00:41:06.760 to help them explore and unpack and uncover what it is they're interested in through asking

00:41:12.500 questions, through engaging and insightful conversation.

00:41:15.880 So that book really helped me.

00:41:18.060 It's a, it's a valuable, valuable resource in my repertoire of books up there.

00:41:23.100 Adding it to my book list right now.

00:41:25.400 So everyone hold tight for 20 minutes here.

00:41:27.540 Let me add this, um, you're a technology guy.

00:41:30.280 It takes you 20 minutes to add a book there or what?

00:41:33.060 Well, I got an iPhone and so it doesn't work as good.

00:41:38.300 So it's going to take 20 minutes instead of a 30 with your, with your Android device.

00:41:43.000 Got it.

00:41:45.380 All right.

00:41:46.000 I added it there.

00:41:47.280 That was, see, I wasn't too bad.

00:41:48.800 All right.

00:41:49.500 The redneck genius. 0.71

00:41:51.500 I've heard a lot about Joe.

00:41:53.080 I wonder if that's Bubba's account.

00:41:55.060 No, I don't know.

00:41:56.940 I mean, they got the redneck part, genius part. 0.72

00:41:58.940 I don't know about that.

00:41:59.500 I was going to say, if you take genius off, we haven't razzed and made fun of Bubba for

00:42:08.100 a while.

00:42:08.720 So hopefully he's listening.

00:42:10.080 All right.

00:42:10.320 I've heard a lot about pain, joint pain from jujitsu on the podcast.

00:42:15.080 Is earlier life arthritis a normal end result of intense training, planning to check out some

00:42:20.960 facilities around me?

00:42:22.080 I don't, I don't know about you.

00:42:24.300 So here's one thing I'm dealing with right now.

00:42:26.220 And I have been for the past two months.

00:42:29.100 I, so I popped my knuckles.

00:42:31.020 That's just a habit.

00:42:31.900 I'm in.

00:42:32.140 I'm popping my knuckles.

00:42:33.140 Oh, you, you intentionally pop.

00:42:34.940 Yeah.

00:42:35.080 Like I popped my knuckles.

00:42:36.100 Yeah.

00:42:36.560 Got it.

00:42:37.700 Except for this ring finger right here.

00:42:40.420 I don't pop that one because I can't like all my fingers.

00:42:44.360 Like I can, like I have good dexterity in the hands.

00:42:47.400 Right.

00:42:48.000 But this finger right here just doesn't like, it doesn't work the way that it should.

00:42:55.880 Okay.

00:42:56.320 And what was interesting is I remember when I started the jujitsu journey, these, when

00:43:02.160 I got done with class, these two, these two fingers would like hurt, like really hurt.

00:43:07.880 And I asked my buddy, Matt Arrington, I'm like, man, like after jujitsu, these fingers,

00:43:12.600 I don't even know why he's like, that's, that's your, it's your grip.

00:43:15.460 That's where you're holding it with these two fingers.

00:43:17.620 I was like, Oh, I never really understood that.

00:43:20.280 And then after that, these two fingers started hurting because I adjusted my grip because

00:43:26.180 these fingers were hurting.

00:43:27.240 So I adjusted my grip to get more fingers involved.

00:43:30.020 Yeah, that's right.

00:43:30.920 So now they all hurt instead of just these two.

00:43:34.160 Now they all hurt and I'm okay with it.

00:43:37.620 It makes me know that, Hey, and you know, the right elbow is just constant little, little

00:43:44.740 ping in the right elbow.

00:43:46.440 It hurt.

00:43:46.740 Yeah.

00:43:47.100 Especially when I roll with Ty, who I was talking about earlier for, for some reason,

00:43:51.060 you know, get those arm bars on there. 0.90

00:43:53.300 Uh, and I like it.

00:43:57.980 Cause you, like, it's, it's awesome.

00:44:00.200 It means that you're working.

00:44:02.160 It means that you're exercising.

00:44:04.360 I mean, I don't want to get injured.

00:44:05.520 I'm not saying that, but just a constant little, like reminder that you're working and you're

00:44:09.460 doing something and you're using your body is I think good.

00:44:13.800 Yeah.

00:44:14.240 And, and some guys might be, well, in redneck genius, just, just do a Google search for jiu-jitsu

00:44:22.340 hands.

00:44:23.280 And you'll see how bad this can get, right?

00:44:26.220 Like totally guys, knuckles get jacked really bad. 0.99

00:44:30.020 So, I mean, it's, it's just part of the game.

00:44:32.860 And, and he's, it sounds like he's looking for a gym, like, but he wants to know this

00:44:36.840 answer first.

00:44:37.800 Don't worry about it.

00:44:39.780 Just start training.

00:44:41.060 And, and guess what?

00:44:42.060 Most guys know this.

00:44:43.140 Most guys know that like, Hey, I'm going to crack ribs.

00:44:46.340 I'm going to bust ribs. 0.92

00:44:47.260 I'm going to, my fingers are going to be jacked. 0.97

00:44:49.460 My hips hurt sometimes. 0.97

00:44:51.100 And none of us are stopping.

00:44:53.700 Yeah.

00:44:54.140 And you know, it's, it's worth it.

00:44:55.800 And we adjust.

00:44:57.180 Right.

00:44:57.620 You adjust to the other.

00:44:58.800 I think the thing I have, I've only trained at two, two schools, one school.

00:45:02.940 And then I trained privately with, with Pete and some of the origin guys, but I've never

00:45:09.260 been in a situation where somebody wasn't respectful of an injury that I vocalized.

00:45:17.000 Yeah.

00:45:17.400 Like, like the other night I went and trained and, and one of the guys like, Hey man, I'm

00:45:21.800 really hurting.

00:45:22.580 My right shoulder is really hurting.

00:45:24.280 I'm like, Oh, cool.

00:45:25.140 Thanks for letting me know.

00:45:25.780 I'm going to deliberately attack your right shoulder now.

00:45:27.580 Let's go.

00:45:28.520 No, it was like, it was like, Oh, okay.

00:45:30.620 I'll stay away from that side.

00:45:32.040 And if I do happen to get something, just, you know, tap, just tap.

00:45:37.100 Like I, so when I very first started, I haven't been training that long.

00:45:41.700 We have these egos, right?

00:45:43.000 It's like, I'm not going to tap.

00:45:43.840 I'm going to fight through this.

00:45:45.040 And now if somebody, if Ty gets me in an arm bar and I'm like, he's got me, I'm not going

00:45:50.600 to even let him finish this submission.

00:45:51.900 Cause I just don't, I don't want that.

00:45:54.980 And it's not worth it.

00:45:56.280 It's like, yeah, bro, you got me.

00:45:57.740 You got, you got me.

00:45:59.240 So let's reset.

00:46:00.320 Let's start over.

00:46:02.580 That you just need to drop the ego.

00:46:04.540 And sometimes it's good to feel something.

00:46:07.180 You're like, okay, I can feel like you feel this, but don't get yourself hurt because

00:46:11.000 your ego is too big and you want, you don't want to prove yourself.

00:46:13.980 There's nothing to prove.

00:46:15.100 You're not, you can't prove anything anyways.

00:46:17.800 You're not nearly as good as the other people you're going to roll with.

00:46:20.240 That just, that's the reality.

00:46:21.620 So deal with it and try not to prove it because you're going to, it's going to hurt.

00:46:26.820 Mentally, physically.

00:46:28.440 Tap early, train another day, right?

00:46:30.420 Like that's, you know, you got to take that approach.

00:46:32.600 And, and to like adjustment of game, like we, we've had guys that unified where, where

00:46:39.020 Johnny, like he had knee surgery.

00:46:41.920 And so he brought like in a foam mattress, like a egg foam mattress that you put on your

00:46:47.320 thing, wrapped it around his legs.

00:46:49.280 We use belts to tie his legs together and kept training, right?

00:46:53.700 Upper body game.

00:46:54.680 We call it the burrito, right?

00:46:56.120 And so he's wearing the burrito, training with the burrito.

00:46:59.020 I've hurt my shoulder really bad.

00:47:00.400 Once tuck it in my belt.

00:47:02.320 I tie my arm to my body and I'm training with one arm.

00:47:05.500 So it's impossible for me to, to get it out.

00:47:09.160 Yeah.

00:47:09.860 You know, but a spider guard, I don't hardly ever work spider guard.

00:47:13.720 Why?

00:47:14.040 Cause my knuckles hurt so bad.

00:47:16.180 So I don't play that game.

00:47:17.520 That's not my game.

00:47:18.380 I stay away from that game, you know, cause I'm trying to save my knuckles.

00:47:21.600 So it's, yeah, yeah.

00:47:23.560 Yeah.

00:47:24.020 You just pivot and adjust just like life, right?

00:47:27.760 Exactly.

00:47:28.900 That's why we talked about it.

00:47:29.920 Jitsu is life.

00:47:30.520 That's why you bring it up.

00:47:31.360 Yeah.

00:47:31.700 Yeah.

00:47:31.840 All right.

00:47:32.200 Drew B 70 made a list when I was young and accomplished everything I wrote in it.

00:47:38.740 It was my identity after.

00:47:40.980 And now I felt repetitive, goalless ever since.

00:47:44.400 How do I get back in control and become driven again?

00:47:47.200 This question does go deeper.

00:47:51.120 I have an example of this where I remember when I was so set on college, it was all in

00:47:57.680 my mind.

00:47:58.640 And then I got done and I had like kind of depression.

00:48:03.080 I have a father-in-law retired from work, kind of got depressed, right?

00:48:07.360 So I think it's kind of related.

00:48:09.040 It's this had a mission, mission completed.

00:48:12.020 And now what?

00:48:13.580 Make a new list.

00:48:15.400 Make a new mission.

00:48:16.180 That's real.

00:48:17.820 That's it.

00:48:19.900 People often say that I see things too black and white, or that's easier said than done,

00:48:26.080 or it isn't that simple.

00:48:27.380 No, it is that simple.

00:48:29.860 Make a new list.

00:48:31.240 Okay, good.

00:48:31.940 You got that done.

00:48:35.140 So my, one of my baseball coaches used to say, you're only as good as your last at bat.

00:48:41.160 That's it.

00:48:41.640 You're only as good as your last at bat.

00:48:43.560 If you struck out, well, that was your last at bat.

00:48:46.580 So what are you going to do this at bat?

00:48:48.320 If you hit a home run?

00:48:49.200 Well, good.

00:48:49.680 But that was your last at bat.

00:48:50.960 That's over.

00:48:51.400 That's done.

00:48:52.580 You're only as good as your, you better keep playing so you can get back at bat again.

00:48:57.360 Exactly.

00:48:58.280 So you're only as good as your last at bat.

00:49:00.760 You wrapped up your identity in accomplishing these things.

00:49:03.240 And I would say job well done.

00:49:04.600 I think that's commendable.

00:49:05.880 Of course.

00:49:07.660 Okay.

00:49:08.380 Uncle Rico.

00:49:09.040 You're going to, you're going to live in the past about how you guys would have taken state 30 years ago if they would have put you in that game.

00:49:17.060 Because that's what you're saying is, well, I used to be so good and I used to this and that and that.

00:49:22.040 Now I'm not doing anything.

00:49:23.360 Well, yeah.

00:49:24.080 Because you're living on the back of your last at bat.

00:49:28.900 What's your next at bat going to be?

00:49:30.860 Figure that out.

00:49:32.320 Engage in something.

00:49:33.640 And it's going to, it might take you a while to figure out what that's going to be.

00:49:36.600 To explore and try new things and take some risks and go on some adventures and say yes to some things that maybe you wouldn't normally say yes to.

00:49:44.040 And we talk about this.

00:49:45.200 I think this is a reoccurring trend here in the ask me anything.

00:49:49.460 And eventually you're going to find your way into something that is really engaging to you and very exciting.

00:49:55.580 And you'll feel how you felt before because you're on a meaningful purpose-driven path.

00:50:02.940 But you got to explore what that is and get over what you used to be and what you used to do positively and negatively and start recreating yourself.

00:50:14.740 The other thing that we do too, I've done this.

00:50:18.140 We'll compare ourselves to other people.

00:50:20.220 We'll do it to the people ahead of us where we'll think, well, why am I not there?

00:50:23.980 And that's deflating.

00:50:25.380 But the other thing that we do, and people don't talk about this all the time, is we compare ourselves to other men who are not as far down the path as we are in certain areas.

00:50:35.780 And we rest on that.

00:50:37.340 Well, you know, I'm better than that guy.

00:50:38.660 You know, like I'm making, you know, $500,000 a year and, you know, that puts me in the 1%. 0.97

00:50:46.560 I don't give a shit what percent I'm in anyways. 0.93

00:50:51.140 I remember years ago in our financial planning practice, we had this trainer. 0.97

00:50:54.620 He came to our office and he was training us on some of the proprietary, excuse me if I could say that, proprietary systems that we're using for financial planning.

00:51:02.340 And he was a very high producer.

00:51:05.880 He was, he's very, very successful.

00:51:08.160 And I believe he was in Florida, but he came to Utah to do some training.

00:51:12.180 And that the head of our office said, hey, you know, we would, we would love, we want to recruit you.

00:51:19.180 We would love to recruit you here.

00:51:20.660 If you, if you moved here, you would be in the top 1% of all of our agents throughout this organization.

00:51:27.100 And I'll never forget that guy's response.

00:51:29.200 He's like, I don't want to be in the top 1% of this organization.

00:51:32.940 My goals are way more ambitious than that.

00:51:36.760 I'll never forget that.

00:51:38.800 But the guy who was talking to him was playing on, was playing on his vanity.

00:51:43.620 Yeah.

00:51:44.120 Right.

00:51:44.460 His ego.

00:51:45.860 You'd be the best of the best in this pond.

00:51:48.300 Yes.

00:51:48.800 And he said, I don't want, right.

00:51:50.140 And essentially what he said is I want, I'm not playing in this pond.

00:51:53.000 I'm playing in the, in the, in the, in the ocean.

00:51:55.440 I want to be the best in the ocean.

00:51:56.960 So is that what you're doing?

00:51:59.840 Are you comparing yourself?

00:52:02.120 You know, I, I even heard it in your question.

00:52:04.980 I accomplished all this stuff when I was young.

00:52:07.060 I, you know, I did so well and I got all this done and.

00:52:10.140 Okay, cool.

00:52:11.100 So, so what?

00:52:14.180 Nobody cares.

00:52:15.920 And you shouldn't care actually.

00:52:18.100 Cause again, that was your last at bat.

00:52:19.760 Yeah, I like it.

00:52:24.100 I think this is next question is a good segue, right?

00:52:27.000 So, you know, you, you might be here in last at bat.

00:52:30.940 I need to get my game plan together, start taking some action.

00:52:34.280 And then we kind of get into this guy's, this gentleman's question, crowd hall.

00:52:39.260 How do you prevent yourself from getting burned out?

00:52:41.740 I have a schedule.

00:52:42.580 I put it together based upon the battle planner, but I've been feeling worn out for the last

00:52:46.680 few weeks, everything in the schedule is to improve myself as a man or a hubby.

00:52:51.740 I enjoy, but lately it just feels like a box that's getting checked off the list.

00:52:56.260 Thanks in advance.

00:52:57.220 I really appreciate all that you do.

00:52:58.860 And, and, and Krav here, he mentions the battle planner really quick.

00:53:04.400 You can purchase a battle planner, store.orderofman.com.

00:53:07.760 You can learn about what is a battle planner by buying sovereignty, Ryan's book, or actually

00:53:14.620 you can even get the battle ready, orderofman.com slash battle ready.

00:53:19.660 It's a free thing that you guys can sign up for.

00:53:21.900 And we have a mobile app called the battle planner to learn more orderofman.com 12 week

00:53:26.980 battle planner.

00:53:27.820 Whoa.

00:53:28.580 Lots of battle planner options.

00:53:30.060 A lot of stuff.

00:53:30.560 Cause it ends up being again, a reoccurring theme.

00:53:34.180 I mean, we talk about planning, not cause we want to sell more battle planners, although

00:53:38.240 that helps fund what we're doing, but because this is legitimately the answer.

00:53:41.740 Yeah.

00:53:42.000 This is how you do it.

00:53:43.200 Yeah.

00:53:43.680 So, so this past weekend, I spent a lot of time in the yard.

00:53:47.200 I told you guys that.

00:53:48.220 And part of that was getting all the vehicles out of the barn from the winter and getting

00:53:53.060 them all turned on and making sure the batteries were running and make sure, making sure oil

00:53:57.800 levels where they, where they needed to be.

00:53:59.740 We got my son's, my oldest son's bike up and running.

00:54:02.620 We got my youngest son's or my second son's bike up and running.

00:54:05.880 Uh, we got the, the mowers running, uh, the weed whackers running, the tractor running,

00:54:11.900 the side-by-side running.

00:54:13.720 We tried to get the scout running.

00:54:14.880 Couldn't do that.

00:54:15.420 So I got to do a little more work there, but we did a lot of work and getting these things

00:54:19.040 running.

00:54:19.340 Okay.

00:54:19.620 And so there's a point to me telling you this engines don't like to just sit and they

00:54:27.340 don't like to run dry, right?

00:54:29.980 They want to be lubricated.

00:54:32.380 You need to, you need to grease them.

00:54:34.520 You need to oil them.

00:54:35.780 They need the lubrication, right?

00:54:37.280 And if they don't, what happens?

00:54:38.780 They start seizing up.

00:54:40.020 They overheat.

00:54:40.940 They seize up.

00:54:41.980 They bind up.

00:54:42.780 Things break.

00:54:43.460 Things bend because it gets too hot.

00:54:45.300 And then it just becomes not functional.

00:54:48.240 Yeah.

00:54:48.740 And that's what you're doing.

00:54:50.020 You're right.

00:54:50.640 You're running dry and you're running hot.

00:54:53.460 Yeah.

00:54:54.080 And those two things are bad for engines, dry and heat bad.

00:54:58.820 Okay.

00:54:59.240 You need to lubricate and you need to bring the temperature down.

00:55:05.080 So how do you do that?

00:55:06.960 By taking your foot off the dang gas for a second and getting under the hood of the engine

00:55:15.040 or under the hood of the car and checking that the belts are working properly, checking

00:55:21.280 that everything's lubricated the way that it should, that the fluid levels are where they

00:55:26.760 need to be.

00:55:27.360 The tire pressure is good.

00:55:29.820 This is what you need to do.

00:55:31.860 So that might mean, Hey, I'm going to go, I'm going to take a vacation.

00:55:37.360 I'm going to read a different book.

00:55:40.240 I'm going to work out, but I'm going to do a different workout than I've done in the past.

00:55:44.420 Do sprints at the track instead.

00:55:46.780 Exactly.

00:55:47.080 Just something drastically different that you've never done.

00:55:49.200 Or I'm not going to do strength training today, but you know what I am going to do?

00:55:52.600 I'm going to go on a five mile hike with my family.

00:55:56.180 I'm going to, I'm going to take my wife out and we're going to go see a play, which isn't

00:56:02.100 something that like I'm extremely excited about, but it's different.

00:56:06.320 It's unique.

00:56:07.160 It's different.

00:56:07.740 It's entertaining.

00:56:09.000 It's interesting.

00:56:10.180 Instead of reading that self-development book, we talked about this, you and I, Kip, I think

00:56:14.320 a week or two ago.

00:56:16.000 Read a fictional work.

00:56:18.080 Read something different.

00:56:19.080 Read something interesting.

00:56:19.880 Don't keep consuming the self-help and self-development.

00:56:23.300 That's, that's your foot on the throttle and it's okay.

00:56:26.000 But here's the problem I have with a lot of these people on, on social media is they're

00:56:29.320 like balls to the wall, all in a hundred percent.

00:56:32.860 Don't quit work harder.

00:56:37.340 I get it.

00:56:38.280 I understand it.

00:56:39.940 And there's people who work really well like that.

00:56:44.080 I'm not one of those guys.

00:56:45.420 I like going hard as I can for a period of time and then just kind of recycling and resetting

00:56:51.800 and doing the, the, the maintenance on the, on the engine, if you will, to use that analogy

00:56:55.920 again, just do the maintenance.

00:56:57.400 And then if you do the maintenance, here's the cool thing about it.

00:56:59.860 You can keep operating at the same, the same performance that you want to operate at, but

00:57:05.400 if you don't maintain it, it's going to gradually just gradually reduce until you're

00:57:10.340 just burnt into the ground and you're useless and you just, you know, are out to 0.68

00:57:15.380 pasture for the rest of your life. 0.98

00:57:16.880 So do the maintenance, mix it up.

00:57:20.500 And then you can get back into the, I mean, look, look at NASCAR, look at any rate.

00:57:27.500 Like these are the best performing vehicles in the world.

00:57:30.020 And yet they know we're going to take, even during the, they, they literally stopped to

00:57:35.280 do maintenance in the middle of a race.

00:57:39.720 Pit stops.

00:57:40.820 They're maintaining the car.

00:57:42.300 They're, they're changing the tires out.

00:57:43.780 They're checking the gate.

00:57:44.880 I don't know what they're doing.

00:57:45.400 They're checking the gauges.

00:57:46.720 They're putting more fuel into the, into the car in the middle of a race.

00:57:50.300 They're doing it.

00:57:50.880 So surely you can do that too.

00:57:56.060 Lewis lifestyle.

00:57:57.380 What would you look for in a business partner?

00:58:02.120 Oh, I don't know.

00:58:04.960 I, I, I, I don't like the idea of a business partner.

00:58:08.720 I, I never have liked that idea.

00:58:11.880 That might be a personality issue.

00:58:14.000 Yeah.

00:58:14.320 But how about like partnering up with like origin maybe, or yeah.

00:58:18.520 Yeah.

00:58:18.820 No, I mean, I'll definitely answer, answer the question for sure.

00:58:21.200 I'm just saying like from a, from a bit, like having a business partner, if you're talking

00:58:24.780 about partnerships in the business, I, I, again, I don't like that.

00:58:27.760 But if you're talking about people or companies or people that you have relationships with, like,

00:58:32.500 like you said, origin or black rifle or, you know, any of these Soren X, any of these

00:58:37.040 companies that we work quite a bit with, uh, I, I look for, I mean, the first is integrity.

00:58:44.100 Like they gotta be in integrity.

00:58:46.740 They have to, they have to be honest and integrity.

00:58:49.660 If without that, what do you trust?

00:58:51.780 Yeah.

00:58:52.160 Right.

00:58:52.420 Nothing.

00:58:52.960 Yeah.

00:58:53.300 Right.

00:58:53.760 So that's important.

00:58:55.100 Uh, I also have to believe in what they believe in.

00:58:58.360 What are they motivated by?

00:58:59.680 What are they driven by?

00:59:01.700 If it's in alignment with mine, that's going to be a better likelihood that we're going to

00:59:04.660 have a good relationship.

00:59:05.520 If it's out of alignment, then no, I'm not, I'm not going to do that.

00:59:08.580 We can be friends or we can do other things, but we're not going to do business together

00:59:11.480 because it just isn't going to, going to work.

00:59:14.400 Uh, communication is a big one for me.

00:59:17.120 If people can't communicate with me, uh, then again, it's going to create all sorts of problems

00:59:23.460 and issues that are going to keep you from, from moving down the path or working through

00:59:29.340 issues that you might have together and, and, and, and working together.

00:59:32.760 Uh, so we have, what do I say?

00:59:35.540 Integrity, uh, mission or what other, what's our purpose, what drives them and communication.

00:59:41.940 Uh, and, and then just work ethic.

00:59:44.960 Yeah.

00:59:45.360 Like they got it.

00:59:46.660 They got to work.

00:59:47.260 They got to work hard.

00:59:48.120 They want to work hard.

00:59:48.900 They want to grind.

00:59:49.640 They want to get after it.

00:59:50.720 They're, they're, they're excited.

00:59:51.720 They're ambitious.

00:59:52.200 They're willing to back it up with their actions.

00:59:54.160 They don't sit around.

00:59:55.180 They don't wait.

00:59:55.780 They're assertive.

00:59:56.640 And there's a few things.

00:59:59.300 Yeah.

00:59:59.920 Bought in, right.

01:00:01.140 They're committed to whatever that is.

01:00:03.860 Yeah.

01:00:04.240 Yeah.

01:00:04.500 I think that comes back to the, the, the mission or the purpose thing.

01:00:07.640 It's like, yeah, they have to believe in you.

01:00:09.480 You have to believe in them.

01:00:11.180 Yeah.

01:00:11.700 And there's companies out there and people out there who are great people and great organizations

01:00:15.920 and companies that I don't think any less of, but they're just not on the same mission

01:00:21.460 and that's okay.

01:00:22.960 Yeah.

01:00:23.840 Yeah.

01:00:24.200 That's fine.

01:00:24.660 Like do your thing, but we're not going to work together in that capacity, but I'll

01:00:28.640 be over here supporting you and buying your products and stuff, but we're not working

01:00:32.860 together.

01:00:34.060 Yeah.

01:00:35.400 All right.

01:00:36.060 Transcend movement.

01:00:36.860 How long do you think it will take to shift the cultural tide back towards personal responsibility

01:00:42.700 and towards the importance of key principles of our Republic?

01:00:47.640 Well, there's, there's an, there's an assumption there.

01:00:50.180 And that is that we're actually on the right track and right.

01:00:56.980 Because if we were on the right path, then, okay, surely at some point we would completely

01:01:01.560 get on track.

01:01:02.720 We're not even on the right.

01:01:04.160 In fact, we're moving backwards.

01:01:06.160 Yeah.

01:01:06.960 We're moving backwards.

01:01:07.760 And I don't know how, and I don't know how that's like, if you just think about on an

01:01:12.100 individual level, what, what, what causes a person to shift, to take personal responsibility

01:01:19.340 for their life. 1.00

01:01:20.740 And unfortunately, their asses kick. 1.00

01:01:22.640 There's two things. 1.00

01:01:23.360 Exactly.

01:01:23.740 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:23.940 You got to get your ass kicked and, or you have to have somebody show you a path to 1.00

01:01:29.440 redemption. 1.00

01:01:30.580 And most of the time it's you getting your ass kicked, but it doesn't have to be that 0.99

01:01:35.060 way. 1.00

01:01:35.460 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:36.580 For a lot of people it is, but you don't have to get your ass kicked in order to realize 0.99

01:01:41.860 that I should do something about this. 0.99

01:01:44.320 Yeah.

01:01:45.480 Right.

01:01:45.840 Like, well, an example that we've used in the past is I had to come to a near divorce

01:01:52.260 for me to begin to fix myself and then ultimately fix our relationship.

01:01:56.800 I, it didn't have to be that way.

01:01:59.540 Yeah.

01:02:00.220 I didn't have to wait until my wife and I separated to, to do that. 1.00

01:02:04.480 Or, or even, even we're talking about getting your ass kicked. 0.99

01:02:08.100 Literally, you don't have to wait until you're in a violent encounter or you get a gun pulled 0.99

01:02:13.120 on you, or somebody punches you, or you're at the bar and you try to defend somebody.

01:02:16.880 You don't have to wait until that happens to realize that maybe you should start getting

01:02:21.620 strong and start training and learning how to use firearms and learning how to defend

01:02:24.980 yourself.

01:02:25.740 You don't have to wait for that, but we do because we're lazy and we're complacent and

01:02:31.800 we think we're better than we are.

01:02:34.200 We, we prop up our expectations of how we'll perform in these circumstances and situations.

01:02:39.360 And it just leads to nowhere good.

01:02:46.160 So we're, we're on the wrong path.

01:02:50.700 And, you know, here's a, here's an example over the, over the past couple of days, the

01:02:55.380 jobs reports have come out and there was like 266,000 new jobs coming in, uh, which, you

01:02:59.880 know, you took 266,000 jobs.

01:03:01.760 That sounds good.

01:03:02.300 Well, you know, it was projected and anticipated that it would be over a million.

01:03:06.040 So it's a quarter of what the projection was, or it's less than a quarter, I should

01:03:11.600 say, of what the projection was.

01:03:13.580 Uh, and then the other part of the story was that, uh, there's a labor shortage and

01:03:21.040 you know, the, the, the current unemployment is high.

01:03:23.660 Yeah.

01:03:24.060 Yeah.

01:03:24.340 And, and the current, yes.

01:03:25.700 Interesting.

01:03:26.180 Right.

01:03:26.400 And the current administration says, yeah, see, this is why we need immigration because

01:03:29.800 there's a labor shortage.

01:03:30.660 We need to bring people in who will fill these jobs.

01:03:32.420 Well, no, the reason is, is because we're literally paying people not to work.

01:03:40.560 That's actually pretty sad that I get it.

01:03:45.000 I, I, I understand somebody can just collect a paycheck.

01:03:47.560 Why would they go to work if they could just collect a paycheck?

01:03:49.880 I, that's hard for me to think that I would do that.

01:03:54.020 I wouldn't.

01:03:55.680 I would right now.

01:03:56.540 There's no way it would.

01:03:57.520 I would really, I would.

01:03:59.800 No, out of principle, I'd be like, no.

01:04:02.460 Keep it.

01:04:02.900 No, wait.

01:04:03.760 Oh no.

01:04:04.500 I don't.

01:04:04.880 Okay.

01:04:05.240 We're misunderstanding each other.

01:04:06.520 We agree.

01:04:07.100 You would go to work is what you're saying.

01:04:09.100 Yeah.

01:04:09.680 Yeah.

01:04:09.820 Yeah.

01:04:10.000 Yeah.

01:04:10.120 That's what I, okay.

01:04:10.920 That's what I was saying too.

01:04:11.980 I thought you said you would not go to work if you had that paycheck.

01:04:15.380 No, but there's, there's millions, hundreds of millions of people who would do that.

01:04:23.300 So, you know, people don't want to work.

01:04:25.200 They're getting paid and incentivized not to work, not to get after it.

01:04:28.660 Uh, you look at, um, birth rates are, are, are going down so that that's dwindling.

01:04:36.620 People are, are not getting married, uh, which, which creates all sorts of problems.

01:04:42.160 Well, what, regardless of what you think about marriage, there's a degeneracy in sleeping

01:04:47.640 around, not committing to somebody.

01:04:50.600 Uh, it's, it's just, it's not good, man.

01:04:53.120 It's really not good.

01:04:54.000 You see the decline of, of church and religion.

01:04:56.300 And again, what, regardless of what you think about the spiritual component of that, that,

01:05:00.920 that, that, that, that's a place where people go to learn values and principles that serve

01:05:06.440 themselves and their communities well.

01:05:08.800 And, and, and get purpose driven lives and something beyond oneself and to promote service

01:05:16.940 of others.

01:05:17.540 Yeah.

01:05:17.960 That whole religion thing.

01:05:19.620 Yeah.

01:05:19.880 It's not good for our society.

01:05:21.420 So it's rough, man.

01:05:24.120 And, and so how long is it going to take?

01:05:26.320 I don't know.

01:05:26.820 It depends on how long before we get ourselves back on track and what's going to happen to

01:05:30.940 derail us hard enough where we need to, to, to wake up kind of jolt us back into, into

01:05:37.000 life.

01:05:37.900 But can I say something?

01:05:40.540 Cause I, I don't know, like, you know, guys that are listening that feel like disheartened

01:05:46.860 a little bit like, oh, it's our society, you know, it's, when are they, you know, going

01:05:54.100 to take responsibility?

01:05:55.340 It's almost like outside of us.

01:05:57.640 And, and the very center of this question is taking responsibility.

01:06:03.120 So, so I'd put it back on the guys listening.

01:06:05.860 What are you doing to take responsibility?

01:06:08.960 What are you doing to share this message and that way of being with other people that

01:06:14.800 you're inspiring to other people?

01:06:18.080 Like how many relationships or, or confrontations or arguments do you have where you circle back

01:06:24.680 around and you go, you know what, Ryan, that's my bad.

01:06:28.240 You know what?

01:06:28.820 I should have provide better clarity.

01:06:30.900 I should have set expectations better.

01:06:32.660 My apologies.

01:06:33.740 I'm going to own that.

01:06:34.800 Or are we looking to point the finger and push the blame on other people, right?

01:06:40.560 Like how you show up in all these areas of life, that's how we inspire people.

01:06:45.120 That's how we teach people like, oh, that's what responsibility looks like.

01:06:48.960 So I would ask all you guys, like, what the hell are you doing?

01:06:53.320 You know, we can, we can complain all we want about our country and how it's, you know,

01:06:58.780 everyone's woke and everyone's a victim, but what are you doing?

01:07:01.820 Are you taking extreme ownership?

01:07:03.160 Are you being that example to everybody?

01:07:09.780 Sorry, I'm mute there.

01:07:10.960 I hope so.

01:07:12.060 I hope if you're listening to this, you realize that's what we've been talking about for the

01:07:15.700 past six years now.

01:07:16.920 And that's the path that you're on, but we could always be better.

01:07:19.220 All of us could be better.

01:07:20.120 You and me included, right?

01:07:20.860 We can always go a little harder, always do a little more, always improve ourselves.

01:07:26.040 And, and in turn influence the people who would, who would listen and follow and gladly

01:07:30.960 do it, want to do it.

01:07:32.200 If they had a, an example, a path to, to, to run on, that could be you or not.

01:07:37.040 And you can hope that they'll figure it out on their own.

01:07:38.680 They won't, or it'll take them longer than necessary.

01:07:41.320 So we have a lot of work to do.

01:07:44.740 Sorry for the call out.

01:07:45.740 I just, I don't know.

01:07:46.580 No, no.

01:07:46.800 Don't be sorry.

01:07:47.880 We don't be sorry.

01:07:48.760 That was a hundred percent on.

01:07:50.120 No one else.

01:07:50.740 Yeah.

01:07:51.600 No.

01:07:52.320 Yeah.

01:07:52.760 There's nothing, there's nothing to, to feel bad about when you say that that is exactly

01:07:58.480 right.

01:07:58.960 What are you doing about it?

01:08:00.800 And what are you doing to help those under your care do about it?

01:08:05.620 Yeah.

01:08:06.400 You know, we've said it in the past, the difference between one of the differences between a boy

01:08:09.740 and a man is that a man produces more than he consumes.

01:08:13.960 A boy doesn't do that.

01:08:15.360 A boy consumes more than he produces just by their nature.

01:08:18.000 But as a man, it's your job to produce more than you consume, which means that you have

01:08:23.560 the capacity to A, take care of yourself and B, begin to take care of other people.

01:08:30.240 Not by giving them everything, but by supporting and teaching and coaching and guiding and instructing

01:08:36.840 because you're better than just being able to take care of yourself.

01:08:42.500 Cornwell Arms.

01:08:43.980 Let's take this as the last one, Kip.

01:08:45.680 Okay.

01:08:45.860 Cornwell Arms, as a 25-year-old conservative father of two, should I get involved?

01:08:51.140 I just, you're in my head too much, right?

01:08:54.140 Like I just reading this and I'm immediately like, I already know.

01:08:57.540 So Cornwell Arms, as a 25-year-old conservative father of two, should I get involved in my

01:09:02.080 community or focus on my family?

01:09:04.840 Also, what can I do to keep my kids from being corrupted by the mainstream?

01:09:09.600 I wouldn't get involved with your community.

01:09:11.140 I would just let everything around you deteriorate and hope that your family is inoculated against it.

01:09:16.700 Yeah, man.

01:09:17.440 Of course.

01:09:18.640 You have a responsibility.

01:09:20.200 Of course, it's both.

01:09:21.380 But you have a responsibility to actually create a better environment for you and your family.

01:09:26.220 You know, and the second part of your question is, what do I do to help that my kids won't

01:09:31.480 be corrupted or whatever?

01:09:33.200 Number one, teach them solid foundation, foundational principles.

01:09:36.760 Yes.

01:09:37.340 And two, make sure the environments aren't going to, that you're in, aren't going to corrupt them.

01:09:42.540 So if you send them to public school, know that what they're learning is largely out of

01:09:47.720 your hands for better or worse.

01:09:49.280 I'm, that's not an indictment at this point against the public schooling system, although

01:09:53.380 it could be, and I would be happy to do that.

01:09:55.900 I'm just saying that they're going to be learning things that are outside of your control.

01:10:02.140 You have to be okay with that or not okay with that.

01:10:05.140 Right. 0.99

01:10:05.680 If they're hanging out with a bunch of losers, then, you know, they're, they're going to be 0.99

01:10:10.880 corrupted. 0.99

01:10:11.400 If, if you're poor and people aren't going to like what I say here, if you're poor and

01:10:17.060 you live in a poor area, it's going to be more likely that they're going to be corrupted

01:10:21.580 because they're not learning what they need to learn to be valuable and produce value in

01:10:26.560 the world.

01:10:28.140 That's why go to church, learn to build wealth, put yourself in a better environment, look

01:10:35.020 for better opportunities in schooling, work in a different place, build a new company.

01:10:41.400 So when, when, when you're talking about getting involved with your, uh, with your community,

01:10:46.260 yeah, go coach a little league team.

01:10:49.020 And then, you know, everybody who little Tommy's hanging out with because they're on your team

01:10:53.640 and you're teaching those child children, those boys and girls, the same lessons that you want

01:10:59.440 to teach your boys and girls.

01:11:00.880 And they're going to learn from that.

01:11:02.340 And by the way, you might actually be the only male figure in those people's lives,

01:11:06.060 those kids' lives.

01:11:07.520 Cause I've been in that situation.

01:11:09.020 I've coached, I've done a lot of coaching with baseball, football, a little bit, a little

01:11:12.420 bit of basketball here and there.

01:11:14.020 And I was the only present male figure in some of those kids' lives.

01:11:21.340 And so I, I saw him, I saw the way those young boys looked at me.

01:11:25.880 I saw it.

01:11:26.620 I could see it because they had nobody else to turn to.

01:11:30.360 And so I was it.

01:11:31.980 And then I knew everybody who was my, who my kids were hanging out with and who, what

01:11:35.800 kids they should hang out with kids.

01:11:37.120 They shouldn't hang out with get involved in, in, in other aspects and elements of the

01:11:41.080 community, getting to know my neighbors.

01:11:42.660 Yes.

01:11:44.160 Yes.

01:11:44.520 You need to be involved in your community.

01:11:46.960 Now you're not going to be able to probably sit.

01:11:49.600 Maybe you can, I shouldn't say that, but sit on, you know, the, the, the school board or

01:11:54.260 the, or the, or the building commission.

01:11:56.240 I don't know how hard that's going to be for you as a young man with kids and a wife.

01:11:59.640 I don't, I don't know your schedule.

01:12:01.120 If you have the capacity, then yeah, I would consider it.

01:12:03.720 If you don't, there's other ways to get involved that don't require all of that time and attention.

01:12:08.380 And you can work into some of those things.

01:12:11.380 I have the perfect example for Cornwell here.

01:12:14.660 So, uh, the other day was mother's day this past weekend.

01:12:19.100 And my wife got a letter, a card, a mother's day card from one of the neighbors.

01:12:24.480 And it said, you know, happy mother's day.

01:12:28.240 You are the heart and soul of this neighborhood.

01:12:32.680 Hmm.

01:12:34.100 Awesome.

01:12:35.440 So, and, and, and trust me, I already knew this before I saw the card, but like my neighborhood

01:12:40.740 feels like, like they're a neighborhood because my wife, that's amazing. 1.00

01:12:46.200 That's how well they feel connected to each other.

01:12:48.840 That's how much they know.

01:12:50.440 Never neighbors care.

01:12:51.720 There's not a single person within a radius of our home that my wife does not know.

01:12:57.040 Hmm.

01:12:57.620 And it's not because the neighbor came over and welcomed us and went out of their way.

01:13:02.380 No, it's because my wife went out of her way to go talk to them, to go introduce them.

01:13:07.740 My girls take cookies to people on a regular basis. 1.00

01:13:12.280 Constantly, we're, we're aware that our neighbor, uh, George, you know, recently passed away

01:13:18.740 and his wife's alone. 0.71

01:13:19.940 Guess, guess who's in our family prayers every night, his wife, right?

01:13:24.920 Like that's community, but far too often we wait to like, oh, well, you know what?

01:13:30.580 I don't really know my neighbors.

01:13:32.000 They're standoffish.

01:13:32.860 What are you doing?

01:13:34.120 Right.

01:13:34.580 You're the one that's that.

01:13:36.040 Yeah.

01:13:36.520 Have you invited them over?

01:13:37.840 Have you gone out of your way to get to know them?

01:13:39.800 You know, like it's, man, I think our ability to, to leave a lasting impact in those around

01:13:49.200 us is so far greater than we realize.

01:13:52.080 And everyone's sitting back waiting for other people to take that action because they don't

01:13:57.260 realize their ability to create a lasting positive impact.

01:14:01.140 And it's huge.

01:14:02.600 I think it's huge.

01:14:04.440 It is.

01:14:05.340 That's, that's pretty cool that she got that letter or that, that card.

01:14:08.940 She must've been really touched by that.

01:14:10.480 That's amazing.

01:14:11.100 It's yeah.

01:14:11.540 It's spot on too.

01:14:12.740 Yeah.

01:14:14.100 So yeah.

01:14:14.800 Get involved guys.

01:14:16.080 Get involved.

01:14:16.800 Yeah.

01:14:17.360 Do you lead your families?

01:14:18.280 Well, lead your wife. 0.97

01:14:19.200 Well, we talked about that.

01:14:20.320 Lead yourself.

01:14:20.840 Well, we talked about that and then start turning it outwards, produce more than you consume.

01:14:25.060 And then as you build up your capacity, you know, order a man's a good example of that. 0.98

01:14:29.460 When, when we started you know, we could reach a certain amount of people because of, of our

01:14:34.180 limited influence and our ability to reach and our ability to use the tools that are at

01:14:37.780 our disposal.

01:14:38.700 And here we are six years into this thing, reaching significantly more than we did when

01:14:43.280 we started because we developed and built that capacity to do it.

01:14:46.180 The capacity to handle it.

01:14:47.660 We learned how to use and leverage technology better.

01:14:50.700 We learned how to, how to, how to articulate and share a message that resonated with more people

01:14:55.540 or was more shareable.

01:14:57.340 So then other people wanted to get involved and wanted to share and wanted to wear like

01:15:00.840 the merchandise that, you know, both you and I have on right now and other people.

01:15:03.840 It represents something.

01:15:05.520 Yeah.

01:15:05.600 Right.

01:15:05.780 It means something.

01:15:06.500 I have, I have guys who, uh, will, will send me pictures.

01:15:11.180 One guy just sent me one.

01:15:12.400 He's like, Hey, I just saw this in San Diego.

01:15:13.840 And he took a picture of a guy's vehicle because it had the order a man, uh, decal on the back

01:15:19.360 of his window.

01:15:20.520 And so we've learned to produce more than we consume.

01:15:24.320 And isn't that an amazing thing?

01:15:26.300 That other people are so heavily engaged with what we're doing that we're not, we didn't,

01:15:31.860 I didn't ask him to take a picture of that and send it to me, but he's excited about it,

01:15:35.600 which means that the message is working and, and, and what we're doing is resonating with

01:15:39.700 people and they're excited about it.

01:15:41.220 And that's what makes us men is that our influence goes much further than even our own

01:15:48.340 just little physical proximity.

01:15:50.820 That's very, very cool.

01:15:51.980 And what I think a lot of us should, and I think we should all be striving to do more

01:15:57.200 of that in our own way.

01:15:58.620 It doesn't have to be this way, but in our own way, we should all be striving to do that.

01:16:02.220 Totally.

01:16:02.760 And, and if you want to get on the court in our way on what we do within the iron council

01:16:07.960 and within the order of man movement, we mentioned it earlier, we have the battle plan and the

01:16:12.920 battle plan is really kind of our, our, our tactical approach to accomplishing things,

01:16:19.060 right.

01:16:19.420 That are critical to us.

01:16:21.100 And we have a couple of resources I mentioned earlier, but this is the call to action today.

01:16:25.240 If you are, if you're not working a battle plan now, get your hands on one.

01:16:29.800 The easiest item is go to order man.com slash battle ready.

01:16:34.240 That is a 30 day program to get signed up.

01:16:36.860 It's free.

01:16:38.000 Get on the path.

01:16:39.400 See what we're doing in the iron council and join us by getting your battle plan together

01:16:43.880 for you technical guys or guys that need an automated system.

01:16:47.080 You really have two ways to execute against that battle plan.

01:16:49.840 That is the 12 week battle planner app.

01:16:52.280 That's one, two week battle planner.com.

01:16:56.440 To learn more, to download the app, or you can find it in the Apple play store or Google

01:17:01.800 play store, Apple store, whatever that's called on the Mac.

01:17:05.300 I don't know.

01:17:05.800 I don't care about you guys.

01:17:06.780 So you don't need, we don't want to help you Mac.

01:17:09.620 And yeah, so you don't need to, cause we know exactly where to go.

01:17:13.380 So they don't need any help.

01:17:15.500 And then, uh, and then your, your third option is, is the paper route, right?

01:17:19.760 And, uh, so you can get that battle planner, like a physical version of the battle planner,

01:17:24.780 uh, at the store.orderman.com.

01:17:27.780 Perfect.

01:17:28.420 Love it guys.

01:17:29.240 Get in the battle.

01:17:29.920 Use that stuff.

01:17:30.680 It's there for your, uh, for your use and your benefits.

01:17:33.200 So use it, share what we're doing here.

01:17:34.860 It's very important.

01:17:35.460 So just take a screenshot, post it on social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, wherever.

01:17:40.420 There's a bunch of other ones that people tell me every week to get involved with.

01:17:43.680 And every week I say, no, I've rides, hold it out for the, uh, for the new Trump app.

01:17:49.060 He's going to hold out for that.

01:17:50.660 I think, I don't know.

01:17:51.780 Did he come out with it?

01:17:52.600 It was some sort of web.

01:17:54.000 I heard there's who, no, it's like, it's some sort of like web thing.

01:17:58.720 I don't know.

01:17:58.980 I haven't even looked at some sort of web thing where you can just, you basically tweet tweets

01:18:04.380 or quotes or something from Trump or something.

01:18:07.620 I don't know.

01:18:08.120 I don't know what it is, but I was like, I was like, wait, is that it?

01:18:13.320 Maybe it's not.

01:18:14.140 I don't know.

01:18:15.340 All right.

01:18:15.840 Who knows?

01:18:16.520 We'll see.

01:18:17.100 There'll always be something new and exciting to talk about, but guys, we appreciate your

01:18:21.180 great questions today.

01:18:21.980 Keep them coming.

01:18:22.540 Keep them rolling.

01:18:23.060 We'll be back tomorrow.

01:18:24.660 Nope, not tomorrow.

01:18:25.640 We'll be back Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then go out there, take action

01:18:29.760 and become the man you are meant to be.

01:18:31.480 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:18:34.380 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:18:38.440 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - May 12, 2021

Combating Burnout, When Enough is Enough, and Finding Your Next Mission ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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