Order of Man - Comfort is the New Addiction

00:00:00.000 A comfortable life will ultimately make you very, very weak.

00:00:04.300 It will.

00:00:05.040 A disciplined life though, guys,

00:00:06.440 a life where you deliberately choose,

00:00:08.580 challenge over being easy.

00:00:11.120 That's the life that is gonna make you a capable man.

00:00:13.960 It's gonna make you a dangerous, effective,

00:00:16.940 potent, strong, capable man.

00:00:19.660 What is required of me to be the type of father

00:00:22.780 I wanna be engaged with my children?

00:00:24.720 What is required of me to grow the business

00:00:27.320 to the level that I feel like I can grow it?

00:00:30.000 gentlemen we have been sold a lie and it's insidious it's deceiving it's dangerous and

00:00:40.820 it lulls us into a false sense of security and that lie is that the goal of life is comfort

00:00:47.700 that success however you measure it looks like ease looks like an easy life that if you can

00:00:55.720 remove the struggle that you might be dealing with any friction any hardship any adversity

00:01:01.640 that you've somehow made it but i'm telling you right now comfort is the new addiction and like

00:01:09.740 any addiction and i've dealt with addiction and i'm sure many of you have as well it feels really

00:01:14.600 really good in the moment but it leaves you weaker over time i mean look around you don't have to

00:01:21.280 hunt for your food. You don't have to build anything. You don't have to even leave your

00:01:27.300 house to survive. I mean, DoorDash, you can have food delivered directly to you.

00:01:32.020 It's, you know, entertainment is unlimited. Distraction is everywhere and it's keeping

00:01:37.940 most men sedated. And they're not struggling because life is too hard on them. They're

00:01:44.360 actually struggling because life is too easy. I want you to think about that for a minute

00:01:48.340 because a lot of you are talking about how hard your life is

00:01:51.280 and how challenging it is.

00:01:52.520 And maybe instead of thinking that it's challenging,

00:01:55.720 maybe you just haven't made it hard enough on yourself

00:01:59.960 for a legitimate reason.

00:02:01.560 I'm not saying make it hard

00:02:02.700 just for the sake of making it hard,

00:02:04.600 but maybe your lack of difficulty

00:02:07.940 is what's leading to abysmal results.

00:02:11.720 Comfort mimics progress, right?

00:02:14.660 Because you can feel satisfied

00:02:15.820 without actually earning anything.

00:02:17.180 You can feel like you're busy without moving forward.

00:02:20.360 I mean, how many guys do you know?

00:02:21.560 I do this too.

00:02:22.540 When somebody asks, how are you doing?

00:02:23.880 I'm like, oh, good, good, good.

00:02:24.840 I'm busy, busy, busy, busy.

00:02:26.860 As if that's the metric we should be measuring.

00:02:30.200 You can actually feel fine.

00:02:31.780 Like everything can feel kind of fine

00:02:33.460 while your life slowly drifts off course.

00:02:37.500 And that is the trap that all of us need to be aware of

00:02:40.140 because men don't, we don't collapse overnight.

00:02:44.400 We might think that we do.

00:02:45.580 there might be some sort of existential crisis that leads us to believe that this is the thing

00:02:50.060 that finally did us in and it happened overnight that's not how it works we fade this has happened

00:02:57.340 for me in my life it's slow it's quiet it's comfortable so the question is what do we

00:03:03.900 actually do about that if we know that comfort is the enemy and we know that comfort leads to a life

00:03:08.560 of, let's put it mildly, mediocrity. You don't eliminate comfort, but you stop building your

00:03:17.240 life around it. That is not the metric that you start working towards. You start choosing

00:03:23.920 what is required of you, not what's easy. And that means that you need a system.

00:03:30.920 You need a way to reintroduce challenge into your life deliberately, intentionally,

00:03:35.840 on purpose. And so here's what I want you to do. Not someday, not down the road, not next week,

00:03:41.460 starting today, I'm going to give you five things that I want you to infuse into your day. And if

00:03:46.760 you have a question on how you can implement this effectively as a system in your life,

00:03:50.340 I want you to take a look at this battle planner right here. If you're following along on YouTube,

00:03:54.700 you can see it. This is our battle planner. You can head to order youtube.com slash order a man

00:04:01.840 to watch this, or you can head to our store, storeatorderman.com to pick this up. But I want

00:04:07.640 you to write these five things in this battle planner or a journal, any other system that you

00:04:12.220 might use. So number one, I want you to do one hard thing, just one, every single day. Identify

00:04:20.860 it preferably the night before, so you're not thinking about what to do that day that you've

00:04:25.880 been avoiding. Maybe it's the workout. Maybe it's that difficult conversation that you needed to

00:04:31.360 have. Maybe it's a sales call. You know, you've been slacking on the sales calls. Maybe it's that

00:04:37.240 early morning alarm and it goes off and you're like, nope, I want more sleep. And so you hit

00:04:40.820 the snooze and like not doing it today. I don't want you to do this after you feel like it or

00:04:47.580 after you get ready. I want you to do it first. This is the first thing I want you to do. What

00:04:51.580 is the hard thing? Is it getting up and doing some pushups? Is it getting up and going for a walk,

00:04:56.460 taking your dog for a walk? Is it getting up and not checking social media on your phone?

00:05:01.360 do whatever is difficult first, because if you can win that very first battle of the day with

00:05:07.340 yourself, then you're far more likely to win the rest of the day. And that's what I want for you.

00:05:12.880 So you write that down again in your battle planner right here at store at order of man.com

00:05:17.120 or excuse me, store.order of man.com. Uh, or if you have your own journal or notepad,

00:05:23.700 write it there number two remove one what i would call comfort crutch out of your life

00:05:31.620 and we all have them right it could be like i just said scrolling on social media for hours

00:05:36.840 drinking way more than you should that's a trap i fell into eating like complete garbage

00:05:44.100 numbing out with distractions maybe it's video games maybe it's pornography maybe it's booze

00:05:50.960 or other drugs, but numbing out, pick one, just one, eliminate that for seven days. That's what

00:05:57.460 I want you to do. Because if you're listening to this as the, as of the release of this Friday

00:06:01.580 field notes, then I want you for seven days to eliminate, remove whatever that comfort crutch is

00:06:08.060 until you hear the next Friday field notes. You don't need to do it forever. We're not going to

00:06:12.980 be dramatic about this. Some of it needs to go forever, but we're not going to do it dramatically

00:06:16.940 just long enough to prove to yourself and that battle proving to yourself that you can do it

00:06:22.340 that you are in control that your habits are not that is going to be huge for you

00:06:27.380 so write it down right now what is the one comfort crutch that you need to eliminate

00:06:33.980 for the next seven days before the next friday field notes comes out okay number three put

00:06:40.400 yourself in a position where you cannot hide i see this all the time guys will hide out

00:06:46.300 in social settings in digital environments and meetings they won't go out in public

00:06:53.620 they'll just put themselves in positions where they can't hide they won't make bold assertions

00:06:57.960 because if they do they'll have to live up to them comfort gentlemen thrives in isolation

00:07:02.800 it does it thrives in isolation because nobody's there to push on you or challenge you

00:07:07.480 but growth happens when you're seen when you can't hide when you're you are vulnerable and

00:07:14.880 I'm using that word in the truest sense of the word. There for everybody to see. All of it.

00:07:22.860 Your pros, your cons, the things that you do well, the things that you don't do so well. Join a group.

00:07:26.760 Sign up for something that challenges you and pushes you. Tell another man what you're committing

00:07:32.520 to because that's when accountability starts to take shape in your life. When somebody else knows

00:07:40.940 what your standard is, you show up differently. I remember years ago, I wanted to start getting

00:07:46.420 in shape. And I thought, well, the best way to do that is just to start walking. Now, there's

00:07:51.080 better ways to do that, right? Go lift and other things. But for me, it was like, hey, I'm just

00:07:55.340 gonna go walk every day. And I called a friend of mine up who lived a few blocks down. And I said,

00:08:01.600 hey, I want to go walk every day, every morning, I want to go walk. And he's like, cool. Yeah,

00:08:05.960 let's go do it. And so we walked for months and we talked about life and challenges and fatherhood

00:08:12.140 and business and dealing with temptation. We talked about everything. And I remember vividly,

00:08:17.600 this was probably 10 or 15 years ago. Vividly, there were days where I woke up and I'm like,

00:08:21.540 I don't want to go do this. But I knew Jason was going to show up at my door at whatever time we

00:08:27.620 did at 530 or 6am. I knew he was going to show up. So I had to get up and I had to go do it.

00:08:32.420 that's how we show up differently enlist other people in the cause the right people don't just

00:08:37.780 go blasting on social media right if you put on social media hey guys i'm gonna run a marathon

00:08:42.720 this year everybody will say well you're great you're wonderful you're amazing look at you i

00:08:46.680 can't believe that's gonna be so hard but i'm inspired by you it's hold on i didn't even do

00:08:52.080 anything yet all i did was punch away on the keyboard and tell people what i'm gonna do that

00:08:57.020 doesn't mean anything instead actually do real work by just enlisting the right people not

00:09:04.580 everybody but the right people in what you're going to be doing and showing them what your

00:09:08.900 standard is and then living to it number four schedule discomfort in your life you don't need

00:09:16.100 to wait for life to force it on you it will life will definitely force discomfort on you you're

00:09:21.260 going to get into a car accident your tire is going to blow out your wife's going to be mad

00:09:25.060 at you. She's going to want a divorce. You're going to run into an affair situation. Maybe

00:09:28.520 you're tempted to have an affair. Maybe it's alcohol abuse or drug abuse or pornography or

00:09:34.300 video games or some other form of sedation. Maybe it's getting laid off from a job. Maybe it's a

00:09:39.580 medical diagnosis. Maybe it's a lawsuit. Maybe it's a bankruptcy. These are things that all

00:09:43.460 happen to men. And life will force that on you if you don't preemptively force discomfort on

00:09:50.240 yourself. When I was in the throes of my alcohol abuse, I believe that I was on top of it.

00:09:57.220 I actually convinced myself that I was doing pretty well. And partly because I could look

00:10:03.480 around and see that relative to other people, I was doing fairly well. The family seemed to be in

00:10:08.020 shape. The business seemed to be doing well. The bank account was growing. So I thought, well,

00:10:13.320 I must be doing pretty good. This must not be a problem until it was. Until my ex-wife said,

00:10:18.600 this is a problem too great for me to bear and I'm out. If I would have scheduled the discomfort

00:10:24.720 of sobriety and it is uncomfortable for somebody who's an alcoholic, then I may have still been

00:10:33.640 married today, right? If you schedule the discomfort of managing your finances, then

00:10:38.680 you're not going to be bankrupt. If you schedule the discomfort of showing up at work, gaining

00:10:46.420 credentials designations degrees doing more work than what's asked of you coming in early staying

00:10:51.660 late being diligent helping other people growing your team that's uncomfortable but you're not

00:10:57.420 going to be fired and if you are you're going to be easily picked up by another team that

00:11:01.200 appreciates what you do so guys plan your workout the day before plan your workout the day before

00:11:08.060 block time for very deep meaningful significant work schedule the conversation that you've been

00:11:14.900 putting off and if it's not scheduled it's it's optional right like oh yeah i'm supposed to call

00:11:20.000 this person but it's optional i have so many people that i'm supposed to call but i actually

00:11:23.920 put it on my calendar at the time i'm going to call them in a specific color it's purple

00:11:28.580 though they're 15 minute blocks on my calendar those are times that are scheduled just like

00:11:34.800 going to watch my son's lacrosse game or my daughter's dance recital those are important

00:11:40.920 and I do those and the scheduling calls is just as important if it's optional most of us won't do it

00:11:48.840 and if you're being honest you know that if it's optional most men won't do it number five earn

00:11:55.380 your comfort it's okay to be comfortable it's okay to reap the benefits of what you've been

00:11:59.660 working through or working towards but earn it and this is the shift that I think takes men to

00:12:05.860 the next level. Comfort isn't the goal. It's not the end in and of itself. It's the reward,

00:12:11.500 right? Like you're not trying to get to this place where you are perpetually comfortable.

00:12:16.660 I have close friends who have retired recently and they struggle in retirement. They have as

00:12:23.300 much money as they need. They have the freedom and the time and the flexibility to do whatever

00:12:27.200 they want. And yet men struggle in that environment. Why? Why if comfort is so great,

00:12:34.360 do men struggle in retirement? Why do they die so soon after they stop working towards something

00:12:39.300 meaningful and significant? Because they're pursuing the wrong goal. And their sense of

00:12:46.180 worth as men is derived from being valuable, not from being comfortable. So you can be comfortable.

00:12:52.840 You can go on vacation. You should. You should go on vacation and really enjoy it.

00:12:57.460 You should treat yourself to something that maybe you normally wouldn't buy within reason because

00:13:02.900 you earned the right to buy that thing. You should be able to take off on the weekend and say, hey,

00:13:09.360 you know, I'd like to watch the game. Not all the games, but the game. Or I don't want to mow the

00:13:16.380 lawn this weekend. And so guys, let's all go to the park and just have a good day. Don't start

00:13:21.320 your day with ease. Okay. Comfort is not the goal. It's the reward. It's where you finish.

00:13:27.740 It's after the work is done. It's after all the effort that you could give is given.

00:13:33.120 It's after you've shown up like a man.

00:13:35.260 Then you can relax.

00:13:37.060 Then you can rest.

00:13:38.100 Then you can enjoy the fruits of your labor

00:13:39.640 because you've earned it.

00:13:42.280 So here's the bottom line

00:13:43.400 I want to share with you guys today.

00:13:46.100 A comfortable life will ultimately make you very, very weak.

00:13:50.740 It will.

00:13:52.300 It's going to make you weak.

00:13:54.300 I mean, we see this time and time again.

00:13:55.920 We see ultra wealthy people pass down their wealth

00:13:59.860 and prosperity, their financial prosperity

00:14:01.620 to their lineage, to their children, to their grandchildren. And they just turn into complete

00:14:05.440 assholes, obviously, because they have nothing that's refining them into the man that they could

00:14:13.860 be. Nothing. So you see a guy like Will Smith and his son, I can't even remember his son's name

00:14:24.860 right offhand, but that guy's an idiot. I don't know how else to say it. He's an idiot. He's

00:14:31.600 lost he's confused he's broken he's mental because his dad handed him everything and didn't hand him

00:14:41.040 any hardship i mean there's countless examples of this where if a person has everything they

00:14:48.180 could ever dream of before they earned it they self-destruct they blow up they sabotage themselves

00:14:56.580 and that's what you're doing and that's what i've done in my life a disciplined life though guys a

00:15:03.100 life where you deliberately choose challenge over being easy that's the life that is going to make

00:15:10.080 you a capable man it's going to make you a dangerous effective potent strong capable man

00:15:16.480 so this week stop asking what feels good and naturally gravitating towards the path of least

00:15:26.180 resistance. Oh, that feels good. I'm going to do that. I can avoid that conversation and I don't

00:15:30.900 have to look up my bank account or I can hit the snooze button. Instead of doing that, start asking

00:15:34.800 what is required of me? What is required of me to be the man that I want to be? What is required of

00:15:41.980 me to be the type of father I want to be engaged with my children? What is the requirement of me

00:15:48.560 to be the type of husband that my wife needs me to be? What is required of me to grow the business

00:15:54.940 to the level that I feel like I can grow it.

00:15:57.860 Instead of thinking about what I've earned

00:15:59.940 or what I want and what I desire and what I dream,

00:16:02.500 start asking yourself what is required

00:16:04.900 and then go do that.

00:16:07.860 Write it down if you have to.

00:16:09.320 Document it.

00:16:10.700 Make a checklist.

00:16:11.860 Make a to-do list.

00:16:13.180 But go do it.

00:16:15.520 Guys, we're going to keep riffing on this subject

00:16:17.480 and other subjects as well,

00:16:18.920 but I just want you to know that

00:16:20.500 what I've seen over the past 10 or 11 years,

00:16:23.180 and I think it will become more prevalent as we start rolling into things like universal basic

00:16:29.160 income and I was uh driving by the park today and I saw there was this automated robot painting

00:16:37.420 lines on the grass and I thought that's pretty cool and I also thought well somebody used to do

00:16:41.580 that now it's a robot and I saw the guys working on it and all they were doing is pouring paint

00:16:45.800 into the robot and the robot did the thing now look we can be efficient I'm not saying that

00:16:49.900 but where are we looking for comfort and ease in modernity when we actually should be looking at

00:16:56.040 doing the work ourselves? If we can lean more into doing the work ourselves up front, then life has a

00:17:02.440 way of getting easier. If we automate everything and make it easy and avoid discomfort, life has

00:17:07.400 a way of getting harder. And if you're experiencing hardship in your life, and many of you are because

00:17:11.940 I talk with you every single day, maybe the question is not what happened to you, but what

00:17:18.620 did you do to yourself by making everything too easy look for the path of least resistance

00:17:25.420 excuse me most resistance most resistance look to the path of most resistance work diligently

00:17:34.700 towards doing the difficult thing that is required of you and you will live a better life guys that's

00:17:40.120 what i've got for you today i've got a really powerful conversation with a good friend of mine

00:17:45.000 going on an amazing adventure expedition here in the next 90 days. And we're going to do a before

00:17:51.280 and after. So we're going to talk with him about what he's trying to do next week. And then in

00:17:56.460 about four months, five, six months, we're going to talk about how it went, what he learned,

00:18:02.140 what he pulled from it, what he extracted, trying to bring you some different ideas and insights

00:18:05.920 and conversations. And I'm very, very excited about this one. I think he will too. I think

00:18:10.000 he's going to inspire you to do more with your life so make sure you subscribe leave us a rating

00:18:15.220 and review believe it or not i know it might sound silly that goes such a long way if you just take

00:18:20.140 30 seconds give us five stars wherever you listen say hey great podcast if you're a man you need to

00:18:27.120 listen to this that goes a long way so please do that and then we'll be back on tuesday for that

00:18:32.040 interview i'm telling you about until then guys go out there take action do something difficult

00:18:36.820 and become a man you were meant to be.

00:18:39.360 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:18:42.360 If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:18:43.960 and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:18:46.380 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - March 20, 2026

Comfort is the New Addiction ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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