Commander's Intent, Self-Awareness, and Re-Writing Your Script ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
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Summary
In this episode, I sit down with my brother, Kip, to talk about the importance of goal setting in a community and how it can be applied to your organization. We talk about how to find people who are already aligned with your vision and why it's important to have people in your organization who are on the same page as you.
Transcript
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Imagine you're really excited for a new movie that's about to come out.
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And you start watching the movie, and it's horrible.
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And you walk out, and you just can't help but be so disappointed and frustrated
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Thanks for being flexible on the time that we connect.
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I just did a conversation with Craig Ballantyne that released yesterday.
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And we talked about this whole idea of discipline
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and making sure that our systems are structured.
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But one thing I've seen a lot of people do is that
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if they're overly structured or too rigid in their systems and their planning,
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then when things come up, like having to change the schedule,
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they crumble and everything falls apart around them.
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So I'm trying to figure out how to be disciplined and committed to a system,
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but also have enough freedom, flexibility, and agility built in
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that things don't just fall apart around me if I have to change some things around.
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Well, and those systems are so great for processes
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They completely fall apart when it comes to people.
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Family, friends, employees, they're not going to fit into a system.
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I have to get into the system to be able to have him support me.
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I, um, I actually ran into this a lot when I was doing financial planning more than a
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And people would come in with their financial plan that an advisor put together for them.
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They looked great and they were on track to hit the retirement goals and they'd be making
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more money in retirement than they were in their working years.
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And then I started going through them and I just introduced a few variables.
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Like what happens if you become disabled and you can't work for two years?
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What happens if you get sued and somebody, you know, goes after some of this wealth?
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What happens if you lose 20 to 30% in the stock market one year, which is possible?
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Uh, all these things that come up and all of a sudden these magical plans would just crumble
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So I really think it's important to, yeah, build systems, but know that it's not going
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It needs to take into consideration that things are going to come up and you don't know what
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they're going to be or when they're going to happen, but they will.
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And I think that'll tie in nicely to the topic of today, which is goal setting, new year's
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Erdi Arslan, what's your way of thinking when it comes to setting goals for a community?
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As dance teachers, me and my wife have a community that we have created.
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We try to nurture and grow it at the same time, but surely there are some external limitations
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to that, even about finding new people in a small city.
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So the answer could be either in general ways of community work goal setting or dealing
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Well, a couple of things come to mind when you're talking about goal setting for a group
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of people, which you have to do in this setting or work or even family.
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So two things that come to mind immediately for me, to the extent that you can always find
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people who are already pretty aligned with the way that you see things.
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Because if you have to convince people that your mission or your movement or your thing
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is what's right and what's good, that just takes away from your ability to implement and
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start moving the needle in the right direction.
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It also could create a whole lot of discontent and potentially even toxic relationships, conversations
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If you bring somebody in who's completely misaligned with your perspectives and objectives as the
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leader of this community you're talking about or your organization, it's your vision that
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needs to be met and everybody else needs to come to that, not the other way around.
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So that's the first thing that comes to mind for me.
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The second thing, and I don't really want to steal too much of your thunder because I imagine
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you're probably going to hit on this a little bit, but I believe that you really need to get
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people involved in the process of goal setting, planning, thinking, strategizing, considering
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what fallout or what circumstances might derail you.
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Because when you do that, you'll get buy-in from them as opposed to just being dictated
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to, hey, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this.
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One thing I used to do, even with Order of Man and the Iron Council and you and other leaders
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helped me see the errors of my ways is I always, I would come up with a new initiative or a directive
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and I would share it with the guys thinking, hey, this is going to be a great thing.
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And in my mind, it was going to be a great thing.
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And nobody bought into it, not because it wasn't a good thing, but because they didn't
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I was very clear about why this is going to be a good thing in the long run, but they didn't.
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They just saw it as a new directive that is at odds with their own schedules, is at odds with
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the way they currently do things, at odds with their level of comfort, at odds with their current
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And so it looked more like a headache for no potential return than it did a great opportunity
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So I've really had to learn how to not only give people directives and cast vision, but share the
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And I feel like when they have the why, sure, they can ask questions and they can explore
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But unless we share that why, I don't think you're going to get the same level of buy-in
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What I love about that is that the why also is another way of saying, what is the outcome?
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And when I'm bought into the outcome, Ryan, then I can make necessary pivots along the way
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So when we, I use this acronym BAR, B-A-R, behaviors, accomplishments, and the results.
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And if we can delegate to the results area, don't delegate behaviors and accomplishments,
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For managing behaviors, that's kind of in the form of micromanagement.
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Now, in some cases, if we can't extend trust to certain individuals, we manage behavior,
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In other cases, we might delegate the outcomes of accomplishments.
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And then in an ideal state, we delegate the outcomes of the results themselves.
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And then that way, people get autonomy on around how they get there and they can make the necessary
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Yeah, it allows people to pivot and adjust necessarily without you having to manage them.
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Well, one thing you said too, is that if you're having to coach or micromanage trust, that's
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That means you have the wrong person in your organization.
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If you can't trust somebody, well, one of two things is happening.
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And that person doesn't belong in your organization to you have never given them the tools or the
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abilities or the skill or even the, the margin to be able to prove themselves that they can
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do it and be a valuable member of the team because you're so busy doing everything and
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micromanaging every little, little aspect of it.
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You know, there's another thing too, Kip, that comes to mind is I'm just fleshing this
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out a little in my mind so you guys can listen to me think for a second.
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I think the, how we do things might just be as if not more important than the, what we
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And I'm realizing that more and more as, as I get older and try to achieve greater results
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with more efficient methods, the way that you do something matters.
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If I go to the gym and I show up haphazardly, not really prepared, I don't really have my
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I slept like garbage the night before, didn't feel my body properly before I got to the gym.
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I mean, I could go to the, I could work, I could work hard.
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I could definitely get a sweat going, but is it going to produce the result that I desire?
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On the other hand, if I sleep properly the night before I lay my clothes out ready by
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the bed, I feel myself properly before I go to the gym, I have my workout ready.
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I decide that I'm going to do every little element of that workout, including my rest
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times and proper form to the nth degree, that workout in the same amount of time is going
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to produce a drastically better result than just going through the motions.
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And so when it comes to an organization, you want people who cherish the how of the way
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I want somebody who takes it to the highest level.
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I want somebody who's thoughtful, thoughtful about the way that they show up, not just trying
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to rush through it, not just trying to get it done, not just trying to get the bare minimum
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product out there, but do it as masterfully as they possibly can.
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So I think the, I think the how, again, is just as important, if not more important than
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And, and to tie this all in the, why is what drives the how.
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You couldn't enlist a community in this ambitious idea that gives back to the community and everything
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You, you can't lead people and be faking your genuine care for their growth and development.
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And it's, and here's the tough part about this, Ryan.
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And I was, I was thinking about this just like a couple of days ago is no leader in their
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Like I would never say, you know, care for those you lead.
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No leader would be like, no, no, I don't think so.
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But deep down, if they don't believe it, people sniff that out.
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So self-awareness, obviously being critical, but that why has to be real.
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It has to be real for you as, as a leader, as someone driving a movement.
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Otherwise, um, people sense it and, and they'll call bullshit on it.
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This is why I love Simon Sinek's book, start with why, which is probably eight, nine, 10 years
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Um, usually the way people will approach their work or their, their, um, goals and ambitions
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So I'm going to do this and I'm going to do it this way.
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And here's why I think I should do it that way.
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He says, no, start with the why, then the how, then the what.
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So for example, with order of man, the proper, proper order of this, the why is I don't want
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I don't want them to buy into the doctrine of popular culture that says that they need
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I don't want them to suffer in their relationships.
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I don't want young boys to grow up not knowing who their fathers were.
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I don't want young boys growing up being taught by a feminized culture, what it means to be
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a man and then feel inadequate and inferior as they become older.
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That's the why behind reclaiming and restoring masculinity, which is our mission.
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The how is we're going to give the men tools, resources, conversations, instruction,
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and accountability in order to help them become more of the men that they are meant to be.
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It's just putting the cart before the horse to do it any other way and say, I want to sell
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this widget and now I'm going to think about how I'm going to do it and why it's important.
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Well, if it's just a widget, it may not actually be really that important to you.
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And if it's not important to you, other than making money from doing it, it's really not
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So this is why that, why, how, what method works so well.
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What does your internal dialogue sound like when you're at your lowest and how do you
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My sense of identity is tied up in what I produce.
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Now that is dangerous in a way because there might come a point in time where I can't produce
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So for example, if I lose the ability to speak, that's going to be rough.
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So, and I'm fully aware of that, fully aware of that, but it's a risk I'm willing to take
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because it propels me to take action when I don't want to, because I want to be valuable.
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I want to feel good about the products and the production that I'm putting into the world.
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And that means that sometimes I'm going to have to do stuff, even if I don't want to do it.
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And if I don't do it when I don't feel like I want to, then my identity, there's, there
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I'm not being the man that I think I'm capable of becoming.
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And again, there's a dangerous slippery slope to that, but that has helped me move forward,
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even though I may not always feel like it, even though I might be afraid.
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And then there's another, there's another, um, mantra or mindset is if there's one thing
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that I feel like I'm really good at it's, and it's because I think it's so important is
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that we have a moral duty and obligation to act, to put into existence, the ideas that
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And if we don't, because we're over analytical or we're being lazy or we're being cowardly,
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then we're slapping our creator in the face saying, you gave me this idea.
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There's a reason you're, you're revealing to me that this is so important, not just for
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me, but the other people I'll serve, but I don't really feel like it.
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So those are some of my mindsets that have served me well.
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You know, I'm going to jump to Jeremy's second part of his question, right?
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I think for me, it's, I mean, obvious it goes without saying, but man, it, I read the statistic
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that like over, I think it's like 80% of people would classify themselves as being self-aware.
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And it's actually only like 10% that actually are.
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So we kind of have to start there that, that one, my dialogue that we're talking about here,
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I'm choosing it as an agreement of, of reality and it's actually not.
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And so dealing with that voice, I, I think that the most powerful thing that we can do
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That usually my upset in the moment, my anger in the moment or whatever it is, that it's
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a result of some type of mindset or thought process, figure out what it is, and then separate
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And the, the way I like to explain this is lens, Ryan, both of us, both of us snowboarded
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at one point or skied in our, in our, I'm not sure if you're still, if, if we're in the space
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where we're still snowboarding, I don't know, every year I'm like a little bit like, but I,
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but I do like less interested as I get older, but, but nonetheless, um, you know, I put,
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we put the goggles on right at, at, at 9am when you jump on the slopes and within hours,
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the way by which you see the mountain is now your reality.
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You, you've lost sight that you have goggles on.
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You don't even think you have goggles on until there's a moment where you lift the goggles
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up and you're like, Oh my gosh, it's so bright.
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Or the mountain looks way blue now or whatever.
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And you're like, and it's crazy that that's how we do life is events happen.
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And we put on goggles, we put on lenses, different colors of lenses, and we think that's truth.
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And so Jeremy, for me to deal with the voice is to get clear on the lens,
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get clear on the goggles that I have on and say, okay, is, is this serving me?
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Is this internal voice serving me or is it not serving me?
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Kip, I was thinking about an analogy as, as you were talking about this,
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imagine you're, you're really excited for a new movie that's about to come out
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and you want to go watch it on the big screen because you're, you've got high expectations
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And so you get tickets and you get the VIP theater and the reclining, massaging leather seats,
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And you get there and you start watching the movie and it's horrible.
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The, the, the, the, the, the plot is brutal since the seventies.
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Uh, the script is just garbage and you get done with the movie and you walk out and you just
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can't help but be so disappointed and frustrated and even angry about how bad this movie is.
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And then imagine that you realize, Oh, I'm the one who wrote the screenplay.
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And it is interesting when people get so upset about their lives, like, Oh, everybody's out
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to get me and this is wrong and this is horrible.
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Like everything, but taking responsibility, everything, but saying, you know what?
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Let me work out the characters and figure out who I want to be in this movie.
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What's the highs and the lows and the tensions and the ambitions.
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Let me work out the script, the words that people operate by the rules that you're going
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And through time and patience and practice and implementation and feedback, you end up
00:21:02.600
Do you find any validity in new year's resolutions?
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Do you feel like a person could use a new year's resolution to change or could there be
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any advantage of waiting until new year's instead of getting after it today?
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I don't think there's any advantage in waiting for an arbitrary date in time to achieve your
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Now there are benefits and one of the benefits is that there's financial benefits if you
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start because certain companies and products are on sale and whatever else that might help
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There's also the social pressure in a good way because everybody else is doing it.
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So there might be some opportunities for accountability and commitment to doing this with somebody
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I used to, I used to mock new year's resolutions.
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And somebody had made a comment on a social media post one day and they said, well, why
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are you, aren't you like a self-development organization?
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Why are you mad that people are creating goals just because it happens to fall on new year's?
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And they had said something like, yeah, they had said something along the, along the lines
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of if, if it's new year, if it takes one day, new year's to motivate these people to
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have a goal, what, what's the problem with that?
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And in reflection, I'm like, yeah, that's, that's accurate.
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As of the, as of you and I recording, I think this one comes out maybe next week.
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Like, uh, you don't, you don't need to wait until new year's just do it now.
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And everybody will say, well, you know, like the holidays, I don't want to do my diet and
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people are taking off work and, you know, we have these trips and things planned.
00:22:57.280
Do you think that January isn't going to be busy?
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Do you think that you aren't going to be tempted to eat like garbage in January or that there
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aren't going to be people who, um, want your time and attention and energy or that you're
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not going to want to go on vacation in January, the same that you do in November and December.
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Anytime you rationalize and justify it, you're, you're doing it because you've already made
00:23:21.020
up your mind that you don't want to do the thing that you say you want to do.
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So either be honest and say, I don't want to do it or stop lying and get your butt in
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gear and get going right now, today, this moment.
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And yeah, you're going to have to avoid some sugary snacks and overeating.
00:23:48.520
And yeah, you know, you're going to have to take a few days off of work because of Thanksgiving
00:23:55.240
So what you can, you can still contrary to popular opinion.
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You can still make more money in December than you did in, in July.
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It's just a narrative to go back to what we were saying earlier that you've created and
00:24:13.540
And because everybody else buys into it, you think, well, you know, this is just the way
00:24:17.880
Maybe for them, but I don't want to be like those people.
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So yeah, I have bigger goals and dreams and ambitions and I'm going to do something about
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Are you better off if you acted on those things now?
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But also if it's new year's that compels you, then that's good too.
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Wherever you get your inspiration, get it right.
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When setting goals for yourself, how do you balance easy goals that allow you to see a
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rapid success and difficult long-term goals that you will see success over time?
00:25:04.680
I tend to get discouraged when it's difficult to see the needle move on a goal and I'm working
00:25:11.140
Well, I think it's really important to differentiate between what I call an objective that would be
00:25:16.680
synonymous with goal and what I would call a tactic.
00:25:24.100
So a tactic, for example, might be record this podcast today.
00:25:31.400
And it's worth celebrating, you know, hey, we have a good podcast.
00:25:36.380
You and I, Kip, we had to change our schedules around to make it work.
00:25:39.300
So we built in some flexibility and we got it done nonetheless.
00:25:45.520
You know, we don't need to go out to lunch and, you know, spend the bankroll, but we can be proud
00:25:57.520
An objective might be we want to grow the podcast in the next quarter by an additional 10%
00:26:09.340
That might take us the quarter or six months or maybe even a year, but that's what we're
00:26:14.600
And then we backfill it with a tactic, which is to record these podcasts every week, to
00:26:20.340
improve our audio and video quality, to secure more interesting and unique guests, to be
00:26:30.140
more prepared to have these kind of conversations, to focus on more relevant topics that are interesting
00:26:36.660
Those are all tactical things, but the objective is something that's a little bit more long-term.
00:26:47.500
And what I love about it is you just answered both, right?
00:26:52.840
You identify the long-term, but if you're not breaking down the long-term into tactics,
00:27:11.640
If you don't break it down, one, you're probably success rate drastically goes down,
00:27:16.800
but you can celebrate and have the momentum in the progression of the breakdown of the
00:27:25.440
I mean, one thing I'm working on to go back to our previous question is this quarter is
00:27:31.820
to lose 15 pounds, but also build muscle mass at the same time.
00:27:41.400
I don't believe a person can squeeze out every ounce of productivity and efficiency unless
00:27:48.360
And the more that a person tracks, the more likely it is that he's going to do the behaviors
00:27:52.960
that are going to help him accomplish the objective.
00:27:55.060
So I have a weight tracker as a spreadsheet I built, and it shows me losing how much I
00:28:02.700
These are my target weights, how much I want to lose per day.
00:28:07.980
And then I have another column that measures my body fat percentage, water weight, bone
00:28:17.960
Um, and every day I get on the scale and I write those numbers down every single day,
00:28:27.620
And then the other thing I do in my phone is I use my fitness pal and I track ruthlessly.
00:28:37.880
And those two things, those two simple things really keep my mind focused on what I want to
00:28:43.920
accomplish, knowing that the objective, the thing that, you know, losing 15 pounds, it's
00:28:52.920
Maybe, but I'm not going to lose it 15 pounds immediately.
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So that, that helps me stay on track and stay on point and then make pivots as it just as
00:29:07.300
Julian, uh, Sepulveda, is it smart to prioritize certain life quadrants?
00:29:13.920
Such as health and finance at the start of the year, since nailing them can fuel momentum
00:29:24.580
Is it smart to start certain aspects of your life early?
00:29:32.220
Yes, it is smart to do that, but not for the reason you're saying it's just smart to do
00:29:38.040
that because that's what you ought to be doing.
00:29:40.020
And you should do it at the beginning of the year, the middle of the year and the end of
00:29:46.000
So when we work with the men who come and do our, our system and our organization, we
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And those four quadrants are calibration, getting right with yourself mentally, spiritually, and
00:30:00.000
emotionally connection, which is the relationships that you have with other people condition,
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which is your physical health, like Julian mentioned.
00:30:08.340
And then the last is contribution, becoming a man of value finances ties into that as well.
00:30:14.480
So we focus on all four of those every single day, not just the beginning of the year.
00:30:20.320
Now, what you do in the next month or two might not be as grand as what you can accomplish
00:30:26.880
You know, maybe in 12 months you want to pay off $30,000 of debt, but today you're just paying
00:30:35.740
It's like you said with running, um, you can't run the marathon today, but you can run a mile
00:30:42.280
And then maybe next week you can run a mile and a half and the next week, two miles or
00:30:45.660
the next week, two and a half miles until you get to the point where you can actually
00:30:52.520
So I think you should be doing it all times, but I will say there is merit in picking things
00:31:02.000
Part of that is just celebrating the wins that you have on a very small level, but I
00:31:11.940
Sometimes I'm highly motivated and I don't need to build momentum because I'm just ready
00:31:17.080
Maybe I had a good night's sleep or I'm fueled correctly, or I'm just feeling positive or
00:31:24.860
And then there's other days where, you know, I'm dragging.
00:31:28.520
I'm frustrated about something I might be dealing with professionally or personally.
00:31:32.000
And for me, it's picking something on my to-do list here inside this battle planner that
00:31:39.820
I'm going to check it off because it feels good to literally check it off.
00:31:43.400
And then I'm going to pick the next easiest thing.
00:31:45.860
And that momentum to Julian's point is what helps build that motivation.
00:31:49.420
I just think you need to do it on a case-by-case basis.
00:31:53.240
If you need the motivation and inspiration, do something easy.
00:31:57.200
If you don't do the hardest thing first and both strategies work depending on your current
00:32:05.400
Ryan, out of those four quadrants, if you had to give advice to men listening on what quadrant
00:32:12.520
to prioritize, if you had to, what would it be?
00:32:25.780
I mean, there's also the spiritual realm and a lot of guys listening would say that's where
00:32:29.580
But I just, I feel like if you go to the gym every day and you train for at least 45 minutes
00:32:37.220
hard in whatever training regimen you want, whether it's strength training or running or
00:32:43.540
martial arts or whatever, CrossFit, that you are going to lose weight and that's going to
00:32:55.160
And because you have more energy, you'll be able to be more effective at work.
00:32:58.140
And because you're more effective at work, that won't be bothering you and looming over
00:33:02.980
So the relationships that you have will get more of your time and attention and energy.
00:33:06.420
And because that's on the rise and you're feeling good and the endorphins are kicking
00:33:10.340
in and firing and you're starting to lose weight, you're now you're starting to think about
00:33:20.060
And you start to get to that mental, emotional, and spiritual realm.
00:33:22.600
So I, I think it has the greatest impact on all other quadrants.
00:33:33.100
We're going to hop over to some questions from Facebook, uh, to join us there, facebook.com
00:33:37.420
slash group slash order of man, Eric Tyler, what systems or daily disciplines do you personally
00:33:43.580
use to make sure your goals don't just stay on paper?
00:33:46.380
I find myself setting strong goals, but struggling to stay consistent when motivation fades.
00:33:56.400
Some of these are a little tough cause it's so broad.
00:33:58.840
So we're not talking about the exact thing that, that he might be dealing with, but I
00:34:05.160
This is something that we created over 10 years ago now, and we've honed and refined and
00:34:10.240
fine tuned it, but I use this, but this is paper, right?
00:34:13.580
So I'm just writing it down, but all that I do, I only have two systems, this and Google
00:34:23.400
That is all that I, I cannot think, you know, I guess that's not true.
00:34:27.140
I do have, you know, my fitness palettes tracking my, my nutrition system itself.
00:34:38.620
And then my goal is to get everything done this week on that.
00:34:41.500
And usually what I find is if I can get 70% of that list done on Monday, man, I will have
00:34:48.460
a very productive week and that's not out of the realm of possibility.
00:34:52.020
So I try to front and load my week and just get as much of that list cranked out as possible
00:34:58.200
And I promise you the rest of your week goes that much better.
00:35:02.160
I, I tend to pick up momentum, um, new opportunities present themselves.
00:35:07.940
I'm a little lighter, you know, I'm not so heavy and burdened down by what I think needs
00:35:13.600
I'm definitely lighter in the way I communicate and, and my relationships that I have.
00:35:28.840
And then when I get back to my office, I transfer it here.
00:35:32.240
And then anything that needs to be on my calendar, I go ahead and put that on my calendar.
00:35:38.700
So I'm pulling up my calendar here real quick right now.
00:35:45.580
So I have my, my scheduled, my scheduled calendar.
00:35:54.580
So today I need to make, uh, it looks like six calls or emails to connect with guys, to
00:36:04.660
I have the times that my kids are with me calendar.
00:36:08.020
Um, I have my podcast interview release dates calendar, and then I have a calendar for my girlfriend
00:36:34.520
You know, Eric, when I look at your question, right?
00:36:38.640
Do you personally use to make sure your goals don't stay on paper?
00:36:52.760
That, that Ryan just brought up, but where a lot of guys fails, they'll, they'll start
00:37:09.460
And it's not until you start holding yourself accountable and, or being part of a group
00:37:18.980
And, and pivoting and communicating and reporting back about what you're, how you did and what
00:37:28.820
This is, this is the power of what we do in the iron council.
00:37:31.760
This is the power of being part of a battle team because you have these men that will say,
00:37:43.520
And, and we're having a conversation about the necessary pivots to hit those commitments.
00:37:49.200
So I think for most men, it is the absence of accountability that ultimately will eventually
00:38:02.120
I wrote a couple other things down here, Kip, as you were going on that.
00:38:07.040
Also being ruthlessly committed to honesty and integrity.
00:38:14.100
Sometimes we use them synonymously, but they're two different things.
00:38:17.080
Honesty is just telling the truth, not the truth with a capital T, just the truth.
00:38:29.760
Here's where I, you know, wasn't effective as I could have been.
00:38:39.560
Honesty, not only to yourself, self-accountability, but also to a group of people.
00:38:43.880
Because Kip, I could jump in with a group of people and they could say, hey, did you accomplish
00:38:50.940
Well, that's not accountability because you're not being honest.
00:39:00.700
Integrity is aligning your words and your actions.
00:39:02.980
So if you say, and if you put it on this thing, this list that you're going to call those six
00:39:08.220
people, you don't get to be done until you call those six people.
00:39:17.340
And if you're not committed to that, then you're just, you're out of integrity.
00:39:21.100
You're not aligned with your words and your actions.
00:39:24.980
And then the other thing that I wrote down here too, with this accountability is an after
00:39:29.500
And the after action review does require honesty.
00:39:31.860
And I have that in here so I can go through at the end of the day.
00:39:36.200
After every day, after every conversation I have, after every counter, every meeting,
00:39:41.680
I asked myself, did I accomplish what I wanted to accomplish?
00:39:52.180
What am I going to do tomorrow or the next time I do this?
00:39:54.900
I mean, it's the reason our podcast continues to do so well is because we review and analyze
00:40:01.100
And Kip, we've underperformed certain days and we've talked about it.
00:40:14.560
And if you're doing that, and Alan likes to often talk about the before action review,
00:40:24.080
And then the after action review, what did you accomplish?
00:40:30.940
I can't help but think of teenagers, you know, where in that age of your life, you have a
00:40:37.460
tendency to think that your actions don't affect others.
00:40:39.960
That, that I can, you know, I can be a dipshit as a teenager.
00:40:46.580
And you're like, as a parent, you're trying to coach your kid.
00:40:54.660
Like the impact that you have on the world is far greater than you realize.
00:40:59.140
And I think that's the faulty assumption for most people that might be out of integrity
00:41:05.500
is they think it doesn't matter, that their word doesn't matter, that it doesn't really
00:41:15.160
And, and I would argue it grow, it, it, it does in a very powerful way that we may not
00:41:23.620
One to ourselves, when I'm out of integrity, it erodes with my confidence to myself, but
00:41:30.420
also the way we show up affects those around us.
00:41:34.940
And whether you want to admit it or not, the impact that you're leaving, um, let me say
00:41:42.160
You're leaving an impact whether you realize it or not.
00:41:45.620
And it may be net negative, or it could be really powerful and positive, but it is up to
00:41:51.480
you and it is rooted, I think, in you honoring your word and being a man of integrity ultimately.
00:42:01.960
Well, one thing I, I ask people when we do, um, some of our events and experiences is I
00:42:07.420
ask them, do you get to decide if you're influential?
00:42:12.580
And most people, most people say, yes, 80% of the hands go up and it's, yes, I get to
00:42:21.600
A hundred percent of you are influential and you don't get to decide whether or not you
00:42:31.960
People listening to this podcast are watching us.
00:42:34.540
Um, I was in target with, uh, two of my kids over the weekend and, um, I, I heard a man
00:42:43.480
And I turned around and I, I didn't know the person, but he's like, Hey man, I listened
00:42:50.940
I just wanted to come introduce myself and meet you and just tell you, I really appreciate
00:42:59.840
And, and I actually love it when my kids are there because they can see how influential
00:43:03.480
a person can be positively for somebody if they're willing to put themselves out there
00:43:09.860
So I was talking with this guy and, uh, it was brief, you know, he's respectful of my
00:43:14.760
time and my attention with my kids, but he came up and introduced and I was glad he did.
00:43:18.260
And then we left and I was walking out into the parking lot.
00:43:22.240
And I remember thinking, man, I'm really glad I wasn't yelling at my kids in line when he
00:43:30.960
And I'm really glad that I've got my nutrition locked in and I'm, I'm training and, and looking
00:43:39.300
Um, and I'm really glad that I decided to, you know, put a pair of boots and jeans and
00:43:46.480
And after I, after taking a shower, rather than just like going out in my flannel, you
00:43:51.880
know, pants with Birkenstocks and a stained, greasy t-shirt and not have done my hair, brushed
00:44:02.300
You never know when you're going to bump into somebody whose life you either have changed
00:44:07.660
positively, or you could change positively if you show up the way that you're, you ought
00:44:14.340
So consider that next time you're thinking about going out in public, consider that next
00:44:24.800
And when they see you, will their perception of you grow or diminish something worth considering?
00:44:35.320
Well, it sounds like a good way to wrap up and a good call to action for, for all of
00:44:43.800
We, we have the systems and the tools and the processes in place that ensure success.
00:44:51.000
If you guys are interested, if you've been on the fence, don't wait until January.
00:44:54.920
Um, act now and, and what a great opportunity that we have to get out some of the kinks and
00:45:03.120
the processes and fine tune things even before the new year starts, uh, to join us in the
00:45:07.740
iron council, go to order of man.com slash iron council to learn more and to sign up.
00:45:12.220
And as always, um, leave those raving comments of the impact that Ryan's left in your life
00:45:21.220
Only the good, I love it when I get put, yeah, only good comments.
00:45:28.520
Or if, uh, or if you see me out in public and I'm looking like a, a bum, make sure you
00:45:33.660
come up and embarrass me because I deserve that for sure.
00:45:39.140
Hey guys, one other ask I have, if you obviously check out the iron council, it's a great tool.
00:45:44.300
We've had tens of thousands of men go through our programs and courses and everything else.
00:45:48.860
Um, but if you would, I have, I do have an ask of you.
00:45:51.920
And my ask is if you would just leave a review wherever you're listening to podcasts.
00:45:56.400
So if it's on Apple podcasts or Spotify or any other place, maybe, maybe it's YouTube.
00:46:02.520
If it's on YouTube, subscribe and leave a comment, um, engage in some way and let people know that
00:46:10.280
you've gotten value from tuning into what Kip, you and I have to share and what my guests
00:46:15.840
have to share, you, you don't really fully realize how much of an impact that makes.
00:46:21.340
And it's like, we were talking about earlier when you do it in the micro, it doesn't seem
00:46:25.840
So you might say, well, it's just one review out of 9,000.
00:46:32.740
It's the fact that maybe 15,000 people can leave one review.
00:46:38.540
It's the power of the brotherhood and the community that we have.
00:46:41.440
And you're part of that, whether you've tuned in and listened in, bought a hat, bought a
00:46:45.720
shirt, come to one of our events, join the iron council, bought a program, bought a course,
00:46:50.380
And so you're one contribution that actually means a lot to me.
00:46:54.340
And it really helps push the movement and the agenda of reclaiming and restoring masculinity
00:46:59.100
So it's not one of one, it's one of 15,000, 20,000, a hundred, a million.
00:47:06.280
So don't think your, uh, your comments and your considerations and your shares and reviews don't
00:47:14.740
All right, guys, sorry, we had to cut this one short, but that's what life requires.
00:47:19.420
Sometimes we still wanted to get it out to you.
00:47:21.040
And hopefully we gave you some things to consider.
00:47:22.800
Um, next week, we're going to do another, ask me anything.
00:47:24.920
We're going to talk about current and cultural events.
00:47:27.420
So if you have any things that you want to share or talk about, or hear our commentary on,
00:47:32.220
uh, join the Facebook group, join Instagram and, uh, let me know what they are and we'll
00:47:38.540
All right, guys, until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant
00:47:43.440
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:47:46.280
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:47:50.380
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.