Order of Man - July 25, 2025


Confronting the Stress of Masculinity ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

24 minutes

Words per Minute

188.51492

Word Count

4,690

Sentence Count

290

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

The stress of life, the stress of being a man, and providing for our families and our communities can be daunting and overwhelming at times. This is not going to be a pity party where I'm going to tell you that people are out to get you and society doesn't care about you. Although maybe some of that has some tinge of truth, what we're going to do is focus on how we can handle the stressors of life and masculinity in the most effective way so we can continue to do our jobs and serve the people we love and care about.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Figure out what things in your life are stressing you out.
00:00:03.960 And if they're things that have to be done,
00:00:06.160 maybe consider that there's a different way for them to get done.
00:00:09.180 So one source of stress in my life is accounting.
00:00:13.340 I don't enjoy it. I don't want to do it. I'm not good at it.
00:00:17.000 I don't really care about it all that much, frankly,
00:00:18.980 but I know it needs to be done.
00:00:20.460 And so I don't do it, but I make sure that it gets done.
00:00:24.260 So I have a CPA. I have a bookkeeper.
00:00:26.840 I know that you're likely stressed because if you're anything like me
00:00:32.180 and the millions and millions of men that we've impacted over the past 10 years,
00:00:36.620 it's become painfully aware for many men that the stress of life,
00:00:42.800 the stress of being a man, the stress of providing and protecting
00:00:45.760 and presiding for ourselves and our families and our loved ones
00:00:48.400 and our communities can be very daunting and overwhelming at times.
00:00:52.940 This is not going to be something where I'm going to throw a pity party
00:00:56.280 with you today or tell you that people are out to get you
00:00:59.480 and society doesn't care about you.
00:01:02.480 Although maybe some of that has some tinge of truth,
00:01:05.580 we're not going to focus on that.
00:01:07.060 What we're going to do is focus on how we as men can handle the stress of life
00:01:11.100 and masculinity in the most effective way so we can continue to do our jobs
00:01:15.900 and serve the people that we love and care about.
00:01:19.200 I will say one thing about society when it comes to stress
00:01:22.120 and the way that we as men handle it is that there's not the same societal push
00:01:26.380 or standard as it has for women to address these things in a healthy way.
00:01:33.120 And so nobody's really going to probably talk with you about your problems.
00:01:38.280 Nobody is really going to probably care quite the same way
00:01:42.540 that generally I think society and other people care about women's health.
00:01:46.480 And so it's on you.
00:01:48.880 It's your responsibility to ensure that you don't allow the stress
00:01:52.700 of making the mortgage payment and getting a promotion
00:01:56.440 and taking care of the kids and putting food on the table
00:01:59.600 and everything else that comes with being a man
00:02:02.480 isn't so daunting and overwhelming that you crumble.
00:02:06.500 That's part of the reason I wrote the book Sovereignty in 2018,
00:02:10.400 which is called, again, Sovereignty, the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men
00:02:13.700 because it's on you.
00:02:16.520 It's your responsibility.
00:02:18.160 Now, there's resources like this one here that can help,
00:02:21.820 but at the end of the day, it's your responsibility
00:02:23.520 to ensure that the stressors of life don't get in the way
00:02:27.000 of your performance, your production,
00:02:29.420 and the way you're serving other people.
00:02:31.620 So let's break this down.
00:02:32.480 I've got five tips for you today.
00:02:34.300 You all know that you're stressed to some degree,
00:02:36.380 and here's how we can confront it.
00:02:38.460 Number one is you just need to figure out why you're stressed.
00:02:41.500 Now, I know that might seem like a thorough answer.
00:02:44.440 Just figure it out.
00:02:45.580 That's not what I'm saying at all.
00:02:47.520 What I'm saying is that we have triggers and we have responses,
00:02:52.500 and typically the first thing that we acknowledge
00:02:56.040 is the response, maybe a little bit of the trigger,
00:02:59.820 but it goes much deeper than what it typically is.
00:03:02.640 So, for example, let's say you get home from a long day of work
00:03:06.360 and one of your children wants to go run an errand
00:03:10.740 or do something or needs you to take them to football practice
00:03:13.960 or needs to be picked up from their friend's house
00:03:16.520 or whatever it might be, and you lose your mind.
00:03:20.920 You lose your cool.
00:03:21.880 You yell.
00:03:22.380 You scream.
00:03:22.880 You shout.
00:03:23.460 You berate.
00:03:24.180 You do whatever it is you do when you're stressed to the max,
00:03:27.060 and is it really that you're stressed about having to take your son
00:03:29.740 to football practice, or is there something deeper?
00:03:32.300 Or it's typically something deeper,
00:03:34.320 and the people, unfortunately, that we love
00:03:37.460 end up taking the brunt of our stress
00:03:40.380 or the other issues that are going on.
00:03:43.440 In my own personal experience
00:03:45.000 and in the lives of the people that I talk with,
00:03:46.980 the men that I talk with,
00:03:48.440 typically what it is is it's a lack of efficiency in production
00:03:53.160 and or, I guess, it's what I would call the integrity gap.
00:03:59.080 It's the gap between what we know we ought to be doing
00:04:02.080 or what we ought to be producing
00:04:04.040 and the gap between that and our current performance
00:04:09.440 or our lack of action.
00:04:12.160 And the greater that gap, that integrity gap,
00:04:14.680 the more stressed out you're going to be
00:04:16.220 because deep down inside, even if it's subconscious,
00:04:19.240 you know that you're capable of so much more
00:04:21.900 than you're currently producing.
00:04:24.140 And that creates a lot of frustration, contention,
00:04:27.480 anxiety, depression, stress,
00:04:29.480 and in some cases, even suicide.
00:04:32.720 So you have to get to the root of the problem.
00:04:35.200 Driving your son to football practice is not the issue.
00:04:38.180 Hearing your daughter ramble on about a story
00:04:41.080 as to why her friend is not her friend anymore
00:04:43.920 and now she is, but now she isn't,
00:04:45.440 and they hate each other, but they don't,
00:04:46.640 they love each other.
00:04:48.160 That's not the source of your frustration.
00:04:50.540 It's typically you.
00:04:51.940 Again, maybe it's procrastination,
00:04:54.340 not doing the work that you need to get done.
00:04:56.540 Maybe it's not having enough time in the day
00:04:58.860 to accomplish all that you need to accomplish.
00:05:01.040 We'll address that one here shortly.
00:05:04.100 Maybe you had something happen at work
00:05:06.500 that bothered you.
00:05:08.860 You lost a big client, for example,
00:05:11.220 or you had a bad performance review,
00:05:13.820 or your boss was a little too rough or critical
00:05:16.780 of the work that you did,
00:05:18.560 or you had an employee mess something up
00:05:22.360 which caused some problems in the business.
00:05:24.480 I mean, there's a lot that could go on every single day.
00:05:28.000 And I think it's important that you figure it out.
00:05:29.620 And part of the reason you want to figure it out
00:05:31.540 is because you need to figure out
00:05:33.000 if there's reoccurring things.
00:05:35.460 So if work is a continual source of frustration for you,
00:05:39.800 okay, that's good to know,
00:05:41.600 but what about work is frustrating you?
00:05:43.640 And you can dive deeper.
00:05:45.260 Maybe it's the people you work with.
00:05:46.700 Maybe it's not having enough resources that you need.
00:05:49.580 Maybe it's not that your business is making
00:05:51.820 that kind of income that you need to be making
00:05:54.040 to provide for your employees
00:05:55.740 and provide for yourself and your family.
00:05:57.960 But when you start to get to the root of the issue,
00:05:59.960 then that gives you the fuel and the ammo
00:06:02.220 to tackle the real problem,
00:06:03.720 which is not running your kid to a football game.
00:06:06.380 It's not hearing your daughter's story.
00:06:08.900 It's not that your wife is hard to deal with today
00:06:13.360 because something happened to her.
00:06:14.700 It's usually something on your end
00:06:16.940 and I think largely within your control.
00:06:20.480 And so let's figure out what we can do here
00:06:22.120 in these next couple of steps
00:06:23.540 once you begin to identify.
00:06:25.440 And I would suggest that you take time
00:06:27.080 every single day, by the way,
00:06:28.440 to think about these things.
00:06:30.400 Journaling has been a big process for me.
00:06:33.220 Where if I'm stressed, I'll write it down.
00:06:35.060 Just getting it out of my mind and onto paper
00:06:37.480 seems to help sometimes,
00:06:38.740 but it also gives it direction.
00:06:41.240 And men need direction.
00:06:42.780 If we think about things in our mind
00:06:44.440 over and over and over again
00:06:45.680 and create this echo chamber in our mind
00:06:47.380 where these ideas and these frustrations
00:06:50.120 or impatience or whatever it manifests as
00:06:52.160 just bounce around in our brain,
00:06:53.800 it's very frustrating because there's no direction.
00:06:58.100 We have all this energy and that's what it is.
00:07:00.000 It's stored energy in our mind
00:07:01.700 and we have no outlet for it.
00:07:04.220 And so it just grows and builds and festers
00:07:08.220 and adds more and more pressure.
00:07:10.100 We need to put it somewhere.
00:07:11.520 We need to aim it somewhere
00:07:12.780 and then let it do its thing.
00:07:14.620 And journaling or even creating a plan of attack
00:07:17.540 for dealing with that customer,
00:07:20.120 that client or that work project will really help.
00:07:23.820 Okay, so number two, and I have a 2A and a 2B.
00:07:26.240 So the 2A is to remove things that are stressing you out.
00:07:30.760 All right, if there's a person in your life,
00:07:33.360 let's say it's a neighbor or a family member,
00:07:36.160 to the degree that you can,
00:07:38.380 I realize there's some sensitivities here,
00:07:40.100 but to the degree that you can,
00:07:41.680 you need to get rid of that thing from your life.
00:07:45.600 If it's a person, a friend or an acquaintance or a neighbor,
00:07:48.540 you don't need that person in your life.
00:07:50.160 There's nowhere that says
00:07:51.140 you have to have that person in your life.
00:07:53.020 And if they continue to be a source of frustration for you
00:07:56.200 or stress, or even people I know
00:07:59.000 who suck up all the energy all the time,
00:08:01.800 I don't really spend a whole lot of time with those people
00:08:04.240 because it doesn't help me live the kind of life
00:08:07.640 that I want to live.
00:08:09.280 So I'm very aware of who and what is stressing me out.
00:08:13.380 So it might be people.
00:08:15.640 Maybe it's certain activities that you're doing.
00:08:19.420 Typically, these are vices.
00:08:20.820 So it could be pornography, it could be alcohol abuse,
00:08:24.320 or drug use, or gambling, or playing video games,
00:08:28.560 or whatever distraction method of choice you have.
00:08:32.020 That will stress you out.
00:08:34.240 Because again, it's gonna exacerbate the integrity gap.
00:08:38.660 If you're engaged in these behaviors
00:08:40.560 more than you'd like to be engaged in these behaviors,
00:08:42.880 and you're spending a half an hour, hour,
00:08:45.220 and hours every day engaged in this type of behavior,
00:08:48.620 that means that you have potentially two hours
00:08:51.400 during the day that you're not working,
00:08:54.000 that you're not getting fit,
00:08:55.360 that you're not having the conversations
00:08:56.940 that you wanna have,
00:08:57.680 that you're not present for your family.
00:08:59.160 And I know because I've been there.
00:09:00.820 When I was in the throes of my alcohol abuse,
00:09:03.140 that was a very real issue for me.
00:09:05.700 I was amazed when I stopped drinking
00:09:07.720 how much time I got back.
00:09:10.260 And it was literally three to four hours per day.
00:09:12.500 Because when I was in the depths of it,
00:09:15.420 I was, it seemed like 24-7,
00:09:17.880 drunk, passed out, or hungover.
00:09:20.820 So when I stopped drinking,
00:09:23.160 the first, one of the very first things I realized is,
00:09:26.480 I have a ton of time throughout the day
00:09:28.800 to now get more and more done.
00:09:30.920 And so I got a lot of projects around the house done.
00:09:33.180 I got the finances in check.
00:09:35.720 The business started to grow again
00:09:37.540 because I recaptured that time.
00:09:41.540 Therefore, I was reducing the integrity gap
00:09:44.740 and ultimately producing a better life for myself
00:09:47.980 and the people that I care about
00:09:49.640 and have responsibility for.
00:09:51.420 So figure out what things in your life
00:09:54.320 are stressing you out.
00:09:55.880 And if they're things that have to be done,
00:09:58.060 maybe consider that there's a different way
00:09:59.740 for them to get done.
00:10:00.880 So one source of stress in my life is accounting.
00:10:05.140 I don't enjoy it.
00:10:06.440 I don't want to do it.
00:10:07.580 I'm not good at it.
00:10:08.740 I don't really care about it all that much, frankly,
00:10:11.040 but I know it needs to be done.
00:10:12.360 And so I don't do it,
00:10:14.420 but I make sure that it gets done.
00:10:16.160 So I have a CPA.
00:10:17.640 I have a bookkeeper.
00:10:19.260 There might be other things that you have.
00:10:20.860 Maybe it's cleaning the house.
00:10:22.360 Do you need to clean the house?
00:10:24.820 Maybe you guys, you and your wife,
00:10:26.660 hire a housekeeper for a day a week
00:10:30.860 or one day every couple of weeks.
00:10:34.340 So you don't have to do everything.
00:10:36.060 See, that's part of the problem that men think.
00:10:38.580 And I get it.
00:10:39.680 We want to be valuable.
00:10:41.680 But the problem is, is if we do everything,
00:10:43.820 then we can't really do anything all that well.
00:10:47.920 My job as a leader and as a man
00:10:50.000 is to make sure everything gets done.
00:10:52.860 It's not to do it all myself.
00:10:55.240 Let me say that again.
00:10:56.040 It's not my job to do everything myself.
00:10:58.440 It's my job to ensure that everything gets done.
00:11:02.200 Some of those things I will do.
00:11:04.360 Other things, if we're at home, my kids will do.
00:11:07.220 Other things, if it's in the work setting,
00:11:09.440 I'll have an employee or a contractor
00:11:12.220 or a service provider that does that
00:11:15.260 so that I don't have to.
00:11:17.380 And then I can outsource that
00:11:18.740 because it needs to get done.
00:11:20.100 And then I can focus on the things that I like to do
00:11:22.380 that make me productive,
00:11:24.060 that add joy, fulfillment, and productivity to my life.
00:11:28.020 2B is to eliminate distractions.
00:11:30.580 Okay, distractions come in the forms
00:11:32.360 I just told you, the vices,
00:11:33.800 but they also come from this little device,
00:11:36.620 your cell phone, where you might spend an hour or more
00:11:41.120 every single day scrolling and scrolling
00:11:44.420 and scrolling mindlessly,
00:11:45.800 not with any sort of clear, deliberate purpose,
00:11:49.720 but just mindlessly.
00:11:50.800 And you're losing hours per day
00:11:53.340 that could be spent on more productive things.
00:11:55.920 You have to get rid of those distractions.
00:11:58.420 This is why time blocking works really well for me.
00:12:01.260 I don't send two emails
00:12:02.560 and then do a social media post
00:12:04.600 and then do a podcast
00:12:05.520 and then do this and then do that.
00:12:07.460 No, I block out time, segments,
00:12:10.100 hour or longer increments
00:12:12.640 where I'll spend an hour, even this afternoon,
00:12:15.640 cranking out a bunch of emails.
00:12:17.780 Okay, then I don't get distracted
00:12:19.300 with emails throughout the day
00:12:20.420 because I know I'm gonna handle it then.
00:12:21.980 Again, the device, I mean, I'm on this thing all day anyways,
00:12:26.260 just as a product of my work,
00:12:27.660 but I'm very deliberate about how much time
00:12:30.260 I'm spending on social media
00:12:31.500 relative to how much time I'm spending
00:12:33.160 in the business doing my work.
00:12:36.440 What are your distractions?
00:12:38.240 Are there, is it people, is it vices,
00:12:40.400 is it technology, is it video games?
00:12:42.780 Is it activities that you shouldn't be engaged in,
00:12:47.840 like accounting and bookkeeping?
00:12:50.340 There's gonna be distractions
00:12:51.580 that if you can eliminate those,
00:12:53.200 you'll recapture time.
00:12:54.400 And then if you use that time effectively,
00:12:56.260 you'll have less stress in your life.
00:12:58.660 All right, number three, guys,
00:13:00.740 you have to fix some things about your health.
00:13:04.420 Namely, your mental, your emotional,
00:13:06.720 and your physical health.
00:13:08.420 If you aren't carving out time
00:13:10.160 to take care of those three things on a daily basis,
00:13:13.060 then inevitably, you're gonna be more stressed
00:13:15.560 than you need to.
00:13:16.960 And when I start talking about this conversation,
00:13:19.840 without doubt, usually what I hear,
00:13:22.240 typically, if not exclusively, what I hear is,
00:13:25.700 well, I just don't have the time for that.
00:13:27.420 And that's a bit ironic, right?
00:13:29.140 Is that you're trying to not be stressed
00:13:32.180 by getting all that you need to get done.
00:13:33.860 And I'm telling you,
00:13:35.140 maybe you shouldn't focus so much on that,
00:13:37.000 and you should actually deploy your time in other places.
00:13:40.420 That's exactly what I'm telling you.
00:13:42.380 Because if you have 24 hours in a day,
00:13:46.080 but all of that time is being underutilized,
00:13:50.840 man, what if I just told you to take out an hour,
00:13:53.240 an hour and a half every single day
00:13:55.080 to focus on your health in some aspect?
00:14:00.380 That makes the rest of the 23 hours that much better.
00:14:03.160 And you might say,
00:14:03.720 23 hours, I have to sleep in there.
00:14:04.960 Yeah, but even the sleep will be better, right?
00:14:08.160 If you're physically fit, your sleep will be better.
00:14:11.960 This is one thing I talk with you guys about a lot
00:14:13.760 because many men have sleep apnea.
00:14:15.940 And I know that it's a true medical condition.
00:14:18.280 I get it.
00:14:19.140 And if you're working with your physician, good, you should.
00:14:22.340 But what a physician will usually do is say,
00:14:24.760 throw a CPAP machine on,
00:14:27.060 and that'll take care of your sleep apnea.
00:14:29.560 Well, let me run another scenario past you.
00:14:32.740 How about you lose 50 pounds?
00:14:34.220 That way you don't have this spare tire of fat
00:14:37.460 trying to strangle you,
00:14:39.260 your neck every night when you're sleeping,
00:14:40.860 or you don't have basically the equivalent
00:14:43.540 of two 45-pound plates sitting on your chest
00:14:47.580 trying to suffocate you when you're breathing.
00:14:50.780 Maybe that might have something to do
00:14:52.720 with your inability to breathe correctly at night.
00:14:55.160 And again, I'm not a medical professional,
00:14:56.980 so I could be wrong,
00:14:58.840 but I know in my own personal life,
00:15:01.080 when I lost about 40 pounds,
00:15:03.720 lo and behold, I was sleeping better,
00:15:06.040 I was breathing better,
00:15:07.060 I felt more rested,
00:15:08.440 I was more energized and energetic in the morning.
00:15:10.720 So doing the right things from a health perspective
00:15:13.840 will even help your sleep improve.
00:15:15.940 And when your sleep improves,
00:15:17.120 now you're gonna have more energy
00:15:18.240 to deploy towards your family,
00:15:19.680 or your career,
00:15:20.660 or whatever else that you're currently pursuing.
00:15:24.400 So fixing your mental health,
00:15:26.340 that's learning, okay?
00:15:27.600 The more that you can learn
00:15:28.880 about things that are important to you,
00:15:31.500 what it means to be a man,
00:15:33.960 how to show up as a man,
00:15:35.100 how to develop skill sets that are marketable,
00:15:37.280 how to grow your business,
00:15:38.280 how to lead your family,
00:15:39.900 you can carve out 20 to 30 minutes per day
00:15:42.360 learning something.
00:15:43.560 Maybe it's listening to this podcast
00:15:45.160 or paying for a course
00:15:47.460 that is helping you learn
00:15:49.600 how to be a better public speaker
00:15:51.360 or researching how you can critically think
00:15:57.280 about issues you might be dealing with.
00:16:00.360 Like the more that you could focus
00:16:01.860 on your mental health,
00:16:02.900 the better off you're gonna be.
00:16:04.240 And ancillary to that is your emotional health.
00:16:08.080 Not allowing yourself to become so emotionally charged,
00:16:12.540 to react emotionally
00:16:13.700 and have crazy outbursts
00:16:15.400 at every little thing that comes up.
00:16:17.160 And also emotional resilience
00:16:18.860 so that when the stress of the day comes up,
00:16:23.100 you're not feeling so overwhelmed
00:16:25.800 that you self-destruct.
00:16:28.780 I mean, that's the last thing that you want.
00:16:30.420 Or leave a wake of collateral damage
00:16:32.380 because you're pissed off
00:16:33.340 and you're yelling
00:16:33.800 and you're shouting at everybody.
00:16:35.720 But an emotional health improvement
00:16:38.760 is going to allow you
00:16:40.320 to be that much less stressed
00:16:42.180 and you'll find that the things
00:16:43.780 that used to stress you out
00:16:45.000 just don't stress you out the same way.
00:16:47.060 And that is a beautiful thing.
00:16:49.060 I know over the past three years
00:16:50.480 as I've focused on letting go of control,
00:16:53.860 not feeling like I need to be in charge of everything,
00:16:58.100 prioritizing, getting my physical health in order,
00:17:01.400 that my mental health is way better.
00:17:03.820 Things slide off my back way easier.
00:17:06.500 The things that used to bother me
00:17:07.800 don't quite bother me so much.
00:17:09.480 I'm significantly more grounded
00:17:11.780 when I hear bad news or frustrating news
00:17:14.260 or something I don't like.
00:17:15.760 And that's been obviously very helpful.
00:17:18.220 And the third component of that that I mentioned
00:17:20.280 is again, your physical health.
00:17:22.640 Working out every day,
00:17:24.380 going for a walk, a ruck,
00:17:27.020 going to the gym, doing strength training.
00:17:30.200 Maybe it's jujitsu or Krav Maga or Muay Thai
00:17:34.480 or whatever, running.
00:17:36.940 Fill in your fitness regimen of choice.
00:17:40.600 But you should be doing that every single day.
00:17:43.200 Not only is that going to help you
00:17:44.320 with your mental and emotional health,
00:17:45.940 but it's health.
00:17:47.100 It's going to make you feel better.
00:17:48.620 It's going to make you look better.
00:17:50.140 It's going to make your clothes fit better.
00:17:51.860 It's going to give you more respect from other people.
00:17:53.860 And inevitably, of course,
00:17:56.420 all of those things are going to improve
00:17:58.320 your levels of stress.
00:18:01.220 Number four, guys,
00:18:03.020 sometimes we just need to mix it up.
00:18:05.640 We just need to mix life up sometimes.
00:18:08.020 We get in monotonous patterns.
00:18:11.220 Sometimes if you're anything like me,
00:18:13.280 your day feels like Groundhog Day
00:18:14.840 where you wake up,
00:18:16.400 you go into the office,
00:18:17.780 you talk to the same people,
00:18:19.180 you do the same things,
00:18:20.300 you send the same emails,
00:18:21.400 you get home,
00:18:22.760 you have the same food,
00:18:24.200 you have the same conversations with your kids,
00:18:26.140 you go to bed the same time,
00:18:27.220 and then you do it every day,
00:18:29.140 every week for the rest of your life.
00:18:32.280 Well, that sounds pretty miserable.
00:18:34.760 So what I would suggest
00:18:36.320 is if you're feeling like
00:18:37.220 you're in a quote-unquote rut
00:18:38.540 is that you just need to mix it up.
00:18:40.900 Maybe it's time to go on a quick vacation.
00:18:43.580 And I know, I get it.
00:18:44.660 I'm busy.
00:18:45.200 I don't have time.
00:18:45.720 I don't have the money.
00:18:46.320 I get it.
00:18:46.980 Make the time.
00:18:49.160 Find out a way to make it work.
00:18:51.400 Because if you do,
00:18:52.980 I promise the next week
00:18:54.560 you'll be that much more effective and efficient.
00:18:57.260 Not to mention anything
00:18:58.380 that's going to help
00:18:59.040 with your mental and emotional
00:19:00.180 and physical well-being.
00:19:02.580 But mix it up.
00:19:03.860 Go on a vacation.
00:19:05.740 Say yes to something
00:19:06.820 that sounds kind of wild
00:19:08.420 that you've always wanted to try
00:19:09.540 but have never done before.
00:19:11.440 Hang out with somebody new.
00:19:13.980 Go somewhere different.
00:19:15.560 Even just driving a different way to work.
00:19:17.520 Or instead of having a Diet Coke
00:19:20.100 on your way to work,
00:19:21.060 drink something else.
00:19:22.540 Instead of doing the same workout
00:19:24.080 that you've always done,
00:19:25.560 do a different workout.
00:19:27.020 Like you're not going to deviate
00:19:28.180 so far and so long
00:19:29.640 that it's going to get you off track.
00:19:31.400 It's just enough of a mix-up
00:19:33.060 to make life interesting again.
00:19:35.420 And we can find all sorts of incredible things
00:19:37.780 in the fringes of our daily activities.
00:19:40.660 New insights.
00:19:41.520 New perspectives.
00:19:42.440 We'll meet new people.
00:19:44.100 We'll have new experiences
00:19:46.380 and new ways of looking at things.
00:19:49.460 So not only is it going to help you
00:19:50.700 be less stressed
00:19:51.540 and get you out of that cycle,
00:19:52.980 it's going to provide valuable insight
00:19:54.800 that you would not have gotten
00:19:56.020 any other way
00:19:56.980 because you're so used
00:19:58.420 to doing the same things
00:19:59.480 over and over and over again.
00:20:02.640 I know I feel it in my business.
00:20:04.840 I do the same things every day pretty much.
00:20:08.280 Even if I'm podcasting,
00:20:09.520 I'm podcasting with different people.
00:20:10.880 But guys, I'm always experimenting
00:20:12.620 with the people that we bring on,
00:20:14.660 new courses and products that we're offering,
00:20:16.760 new events that we're putting out
00:20:18.200 because I personally need that.
00:20:20.280 I can't stay engaged
00:20:21.660 in doing the same thing,
00:20:23.180 the monotonous minutia
00:20:24.780 every day, all day
00:20:25.820 for the rest of my life.
00:20:26.860 I would not have been in this business
00:20:28.120 for 10 years,
00:20:29.580 10 plus years at this point
00:20:30.840 if I didn't mix it up from time to time.
00:20:33.840 And the last point
00:20:35.020 that I wanted to make here
00:20:36.000 is that sometimes it's okay
00:20:37.920 to change the tempo
00:20:39.020 and pace of your life.
00:20:40.860 I know that for the past 10 plus years,
00:20:42.720 I've been talking about being effective
00:20:44.400 and being efficient
00:20:45.400 and chasing your goals
00:20:46.720 and tackling them head on
00:20:48.520 and being as aggressive as you can
00:20:50.040 and accomplishing those things.
00:20:52.060 And maybe this is a little bit
00:20:53.300 of calmness for me.
00:20:54.420 Maybe it's a little bit of maturity
00:20:55.760 and maybe it's just a little bit of wisdom
00:20:57.720 that I'm getting as I age.
00:20:59.660 But I think it's okay
00:21:00.840 to just change the tempo
00:21:02.140 and pace every once in a while.
00:21:04.180 But notice what I didn't say.
00:21:05.760 I didn't say change the direction.
00:21:07.240 Unless you're on a bad path.
00:21:09.840 Okay, then that's different.
00:21:11.020 That's the exception.
00:21:12.400 But I'm not telling you
00:21:13.400 to change your direction.
00:21:14.760 If you're still on your fitness journey,
00:21:16.280 by changing your tempo and pace,
00:21:17.920 that's not changing the trajectory
00:21:19.940 of where you're going.
00:21:20.800 It just means that maybe
00:21:21.620 you're going to slow down
00:21:22.360 and walk for a minute.
00:21:23.580 And I think that's okay.
00:21:25.700 I do.
00:21:26.940 I wouldn't do it all the time.
00:21:29.240 I would be very mindful
00:21:30.620 of how often I'm doing this.
00:21:32.580 I would also make sure
00:21:33.540 that you understand your personality.
00:21:35.040 And if your personality is to slack off,
00:21:37.060 maybe you don't need
00:21:38.300 to keep that tempo or pace.
00:21:40.200 Maybe you need to pick up
00:21:41.400 the tempo and pace a little bit.
00:21:44.160 But whatever you can do
00:21:45.260 to just change the speed
00:21:46.720 at which you operate.
00:21:47.780 Some of you will need to go faster
00:21:49.040 and some of you might need to go slower.
00:21:51.160 I could stand to go slower
00:21:52.700 from time to time
00:21:53.620 as with many of the men
00:21:55.400 that I work with and talk with.
00:21:57.420 But changing that tempo and pace
00:21:59.000 will allow you to rejuvenate,
00:22:02.040 to recharge,
00:22:03.500 to get ready to tackle
00:22:06.020 the next day or the next week
00:22:07.920 or when you get back from vacation.
00:22:09.440 But change that tempo.
00:22:10.400 Don't change the direction.
00:22:11.580 Change the tempo.
00:22:13.180 So those are my points
00:22:13.980 for you guys today.
00:22:14.860 I could go on and on
00:22:15.800 with more and more points.
00:22:16.900 But at this point,
00:22:17.420 I feel like if I did,
00:22:18.900 I would just be adding more work,
00:22:20.960 therefore more stress to your plate.
00:22:23.180 And that is the opposite
00:22:24.300 of what I'm trying to do today.
00:22:26.000 Let me recap for you guys.
00:22:27.040 Number one, figure out why you're stressed
00:22:29.300 and go deeper than what that trigger was.
00:22:31.980 If your kid is asking for a ride
00:22:34.540 to football practice
00:22:35.680 and that's what you're stressed out about,
00:22:38.280 it's something else.
00:22:39.700 Go deeper, figure out what it is.
00:22:41.960 Number two, A is remove the things
00:22:43.740 and people that are stressing you out
00:22:45.180 and if applicable, delegate them.
00:22:47.040 And then two, B is to eliminate distractions.
00:22:49.460 So little things that come up
00:22:50.700 throughout the day
00:22:51.180 that keep you from accomplishing
00:22:53.000 what you want to accomplish.
00:22:54.760 Number three, fix your mental,
00:22:56.320 emotional and physical health.
00:22:58.160 Number four, mix it up from time to time.
00:23:00.400 Go on a vacation, do something new,
00:23:02.320 hang out with somebody new,
00:23:03.340 try a different hobby
00:23:04.480 or activity or pursuit.
00:23:06.140 And number five,
00:23:06.920 change the tempo and pace of your life,
00:23:08.780 but not the direction.
00:23:10.060 And only I'd add that's caveat,
00:23:12.020 temporarily,
00:23:13.140 you're only going to do it for a minute
00:23:14.360 and then you get back to your pace
00:23:16.280 unless your pace is too slow.
00:23:18.360 And then I would say,
00:23:19.000 pick it up and figure out how to sustain it.
00:23:20.880 So guys, I hope that helps.
00:23:22.080 If you have any other ideas
00:23:23.720 on how you personally
00:23:25.260 have eliminated stress from your life
00:23:27.380 or reduced stress,
00:23:29.200 reduced stress, excuse me,
00:23:31.720 please let me know
00:23:32.700 in the comments over on social media.
00:23:34.920 I'll make a post about this
00:23:36.380 and then I'll also make a post
00:23:38.720 in our Facebook group,
00:23:39.960 which you can find
00:23:40.640 at facebook.com slash groups
00:23:42.240 slash order of man.
00:23:44.420 And let's have a conversation about it.
00:23:47.100 This is something that impacts men.
00:23:49.220 Not only is it a mental thing,
00:23:50.380 it's a physical thing.
00:23:51.340 When you're stressed,
00:23:52.140 cortisol levels go up,
00:23:53.800 you retain fat,
00:23:55.020 you end up saying
00:23:56.440 and doing dumb things
00:23:57.540 that hurt the people around you.
00:23:59.560 By any metric,
00:24:01.080 any metric,
00:24:02.020 being chronically stressed
00:24:03.460 is not going to serve you
00:24:04.920 or the people that you care about.
00:24:06.200 So we need to figure out a way
00:24:07.380 as men to deal with it
00:24:08.880 because society is not going
00:24:10.220 to advocate for it
00:24:11.120 and nobody's going to help you
00:24:12.500 take care of it.
00:24:13.220 It is on you,
00:24:14.620 which is where it needs to be
00:24:15.740 because you're the person
00:24:17.020 who has the ability
00:24:18.760 to do something about it.
00:24:20.500 All right, guys,
00:24:21.380 we will be back next week.
00:24:22.900 Until then,
00:24:23.300 go out there,
00:24:23.660 take action,
00:24:24.860 reduce and eliminate
00:24:25.540 the stress in your life
00:24:26.440 and become a man you
00:24:27.460 are meant to be.
00:24:32.280 Thank you for listening
00:24:33.240 to the Order of Man podcast.
00:24:35.320 You're ready to take charge
00:24:36.380 of your life
00:24:36.940 and be more of the man
00:24:38.080 you are meant to be.
00:24:39.340 We invite you to join the order
00:24:40.680 at orderofman.com.
00:24:43.080 We'll be right back,
00:24:44.220 say,
00:24:45.160 we'll need you.
00:24:46.960 Thank you.
00:24:47.760 Thank you.
00:24:47.960 Thank you.
00:24:49.760 Thank you.
00:24:49.960 Thank you.