Order of Man - Dealing With a Negative Boss, Course Correcting Along the Way, Focusing on Strength and Weaknesses

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.440 Kim, what's up, brother? Glad to be doing this again.

00:00:27.500 It's a good day. Is it a good day?

00:00:30.520 It is.

00:00:31.760 What makes it a good day?

00:00:33.100 Utah got some good weather. I love snow during this time of season.

00:00:37.440 I don't know how many people would agree with you that snow is good weather.

00:00:41.860 You know, it's needed.

00:00:43.400 I like the snow, but I don't have to deal with it. So that's probably why I like it.

00:00:47.200 Yeah. See, we, I don't know. Utah is high desert, right? So come summertime, it's like I'm reminded, wait, we really need a lot of snow.

00:00:56.860 Yeah.

00:00:57.080 Yeah. Well, it's just been dry this year. It's been really dry.

00:01:01.060 Yeah.

00:01:01.380 I don't know how it's been for you guys, but down here, it's been really, really dry.

00:01:05.000 Yeah. Same.

00:01:06.120 Yeah. Well, right on, man. Let's get right into these questions. I know there's a lot of questions today, and I want to cover as many as possible.

00:01:12.160 We've got to cut this one a little shorter than we normally do. So let's just jump right into it. Guys, if you're listening for the first time, this is Kip and I.

00:01:18.260 We are answering questions from our Patreon account. So if you guys want to check that out, it's Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash order of man.

00:01:27.380 You can ask questions there. And of course, there's other perks and benefits and whatnot. You can also check out our Facebook group, which is facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:01:38.360 Or you can check out the iron council, which is our exclusive brotherhood. And that's kind of like the flagship program of what we're doing here within order of man. This is a collection of, I think it's right around 450 men now, maybe a little bit more.

00:01:53.100 And these guys are all working together to answer each other's questions, hold each other accountable, hold each other's feet to the fire, go through some challenges and assignments and worksheets and everything else, all the replays.

00:02:03.360 And we have guest experts on, we're doing so much over there. And of course, these guys are asking questions as well.

00:02:08.040 So the, so the, the hierarchy, the rank of, of how we prioritize these questions is Patreon members first, then iron council, and then, uh, then Facebook. So that's where these questions are coming from. Let's just get right into it. Kip.

00:02:19.600 Sounds great. So we have a few, a handful of Patreon members and their questions. So we'll start off with the Patreon guys first. So Chris Dalton, first off, I want to say how impressed I was with the father son event in the video you posted on, on the social media. Very, very cool stuff.

00:02:35.140 Do you have any plans to follow up with a father and sons who participate in this event to measure how it's impacted their lives in say a year from now? It would be a great idea to have a series of interviews on the podcast featuring those participants whose lives have been changed forever because of your ideas and events. Great work, Ryan and Kip. I love the AMA show.

00:02:54.440 Uh, it's a good idea. I mean, we've have, we have follow-up programs or a plan in place. I mean, we stay pretty active in Facebook and, and we're still having conversations and holding these guys accountable and giving them new things to think about.

00:03:06.480 Uh, so that that's active in our Facebook group, which is specifically set up for, uh, our father and son event called legacy. And we've got another one, by the way, coming up, it's April 11th through the 14th of 2019. So you guys might want to check that out. If you're interested, I think we've already filled up maybe a third of the spots and we really haven't promoted a whole lot. So it's order of man.com slash legacy. You can check out the video that Chris is talking about there. Uh, you know, as far as, you know, doing interviews on the podcast, I don't know if we'll do that.

00:03:36.180 I mean, we have such a great platform here to be able to bring, um, it's just extremely, extremely high caliber men on that can be inspirational. I think, I think having conversations with these guys might be a better, uh, forum maybe on Facebook or some other medium, but it is a good idea. But I think the podcast is really reserved for those who are achieving at the highest level. So we can be inspired by those people. I hope that makes sense. I'm not trying to dismiss what these guys are doing, but it just might be more appropriate in a, in a different platform.

00:04:04.960 Yeah. Yeah. Um, Ryan, is there plans already for another uprising? No, not, not right now. A couple of guys have asked that, but yeah, not right now. I mean, we will do one, maybe two in 2019. Um, a lot of guys say, well, you know, I really want to sign up for this thing. When's the next one? I don't know guys, quite honestly. I don't know. Uh, I wish I can tell you I have this stuff all planned out for the next two years, but it's not how my mind works. The way it works for me is if it sounds interesting and fascinating and challenging, then I'm going to do it.

00:04:34.960 Do another one. I don't know. Just depends on if it continues to feel interesting and challenging and rewarding to me. So the legacy event, I planned one. We did it, uh, with our event coordinator, Chris Gatchko. It was a great event. Turned out really well. I really enjoyed it. So we did another one, uh, uprising. I think we've done three of them now. Uh, and I probably will do another one, but it really just depends on, I just like to do different things. I got to stay engaged. And if I've already done it, I'm like, huh, I've already done that. What's next?

00:05:02.900 Uprising extreme version. Maybe. Well, I've, I've thought a lot about that. I've actually, one thing I've actually had a thought of this, this would be really cool. And this wouldn't be an uprising event, but it'd be something else is basically we take 20 guys and we just drop them out in the middle of the Southern Utah desert. Totally. And while we're there, I would love, what I would love to do is helicopter these guys in. Totally.

00:05:32.900 Basecamp. And then they're at the tent, they get their gear and they get a map and they're paired up and they get from point A to point B using a skill that we teach them at base camp. And they have to hit the deadline by at point B. Once they get to point B, as long as they hit the deadline, they're still in. If they don't hit the deadline, they're out. They go home or whatever, or go to Vegas for a couple of days. I don't know, whatever.

00:05:56.100 But they hit point B, we teach them a new skillset that they have to utilize in order to get to point C and they have a deadline. And we do that four or five different points they have to hit. That could be really, really awesome.

00:06:10.140 Sign me up. I do it. I second, that's what I'm saying is like just different stuff. You know, I'm, I'm constantly thinking about different ways to challenge men and push them and do things we haven't done before. And will it work? I don't know, but that's why you got to try it. You know, the uprising works. I'm like, I already proved it works.

00:06:27.700 Worst case you just, you and I will have fun.

00:06:29.580 And that's, and that's great. Well, you and me and Matthew Arrington, cause he'll be all about it as well.

00:06:34.080 Yeah, that'd be awesome. Cool. All right. Next question. Bubba downs, classic Bubba question here.

00:06:39.060 When can we expect order of man, ranger panties? If we can't get those coming, I'll start a social media campaign to get order of man, banana hammocks.

00:06:49.360 I'll get the ranger panties, panties immediately. If it avoids the banana hammocks. Um, I actually had some made last year. So some order of man, ranger panties, you did, I did. I have them. Uh, I don't know if they'll sell. I really don't. I mean, Bubba will buy a pair just like he bought all the flat brim or the curb brim hats.

00:07:09.060 Uh, if, if you guys can convince me that order of man, ranger panties will sell, then yeah, we'll have some done for sure. I just don't know if they will.

00:07:18.200 A handful of guys will buy them, but I don't know if it'll be a good business decision.

00:07:22.860 By the way, I've been wearing the order of man, rash guard. Um, every so often when I train such a good rash guard. Yeah. I'm getting people asking like, Hey, are there, are there any more?

00:07:33.200 I think I'm going to do another one with origin. Yeah. I think I'm going to do another version with origin. That's what I'm talking about. It's like, we already did that one. Do I want to bring that same one back? No, we already did it.

00:07:41.320 I'm thinking shorts and spats. There you go. Huge fan of spats. I guarantee that you're stronger, more technical and everything else. When you're wearing that order, man, rash guard.

00:07:51.920 Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And my testosterone levels just boost. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. All right. What's Ryan got for us?

00:07:59.880 Right. Jekyll. I firmly believe that men should be prepared for anything at any time. Do either you or Kip have any sort of bug out equipment or do you guys have any sort of planning?

00:08:09.920 I was thinking we should all pull our money and buy some land in Montana. We'd be in the manliest survivor, uh, survivors of the apocalypse. I think also I need some order of man Velcro patches.

00:08:22.520 Uh, get on that. Would you? Question mark. All right. Let's break this down. Um, as far as a bug out bag, those types of things, I have that stuff prepared. Yeah, of course. I mean, you're right. We do need to be prepared for anything and we don't know what that's going to be or when, which makes it a real challenge, but I've got, I've got all kinds of stuff. I've got a little travel bag that I carry in my car. I've got a bug out bag. Two of them actually that are in our house that we have, uh, in our cellar that are already packed in a, in a, in a, in a hiking backpack.

00:08:50.780 We've got 72 hour kits. We've got food storage. I mean, we've got all of this stuff because it's critical. I mean, hopefully we'll never have to use that, but we want to be able to have it should we need it. But as far as like resources for it, I don't personally have anything.

00:09:04.380 Uh, as far as like what's in my packing list necessarily, but you might check, uh, like Creek Stewart has been on the podcast before and he's all about the survival stuff and everything else. I mean, there's so many other resources out there that if you just Google that, you can find it pretty well. Uh, what else did he ask? Oh, Montana. Uh, you know, like if I want to buy land in Montana, I'm not going to pull it. I'm just going to buy it myself.

00:09:26.380 Cause that creates so much less of a headache. Like I've had people that are like, yeah, I went on some land with my family and now it's a big nightmare. It's like, well, yeah. Did you not expect that it would be? So if you can do it, just buy it yourself or I will. And then I'll invite all of you guys out there.

00:09:40.740 And then you have less overhead, less stress and I own the land, which is a good thing. Uh, what else, what else did he ask? He asked me one. Oh, the order of man Velcro. They're already there. They're, they're already available. So if you go to store.orderofman.com, you'll see the order of man, protect, provide, preside Velcro patch. So they're there done. Yes. You know, I think it's important to know why a bug out is important.

00:10:02.740 And one of the best analogies that, that I have is Katrina, right? Look at that scenario. And if, if you lived in that area during Katrina and you had a whole basement of two years supply of canned foods for, uh, as food storage, it, did you know good in that scenario? A bug out was required in that particular scenario. So I think it's really important that you, I think both are important, but I think

00:10:32.680 just to illustrate the importance of a bug out, sometimes you gotta, you gotta hightel and get out of there, not necessarily bunker down. So yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I wholeheartedly agree with that. In fact, on Friday, I'm doing a Friday field notes on the subject of preparedness. So make sure you guys tune in for that. It's not just about bug out bags. It's about being prepared in other ways as well. So we'll cover some of that on Friday. Cool. All right. We're going to jump into the iron council questions, Tim Strahan.

00:11:01.800 What are some ways you could approach your boss about dealing with negativity and toxic environment in the office when he is part of the reason the environment is that way? He seems to enjoy complaining and whining about everything on a daily basis and never sees himself as part of the cause of any problem.

00:11:19.760 Well, I mean, what are you going to do? Are you going to point it out and say, Hey, you're negative and you're complaining and you're bitching and moaning and you're part of the problem, right? You can't, can't really do that, which is why Tim is asking the question. Cause if you could, he would have just done that a long time ago.

00:11:30.300 So, uh, what I would say is be part of the solution, right? Like if it, look, if you go and complain about other coworkers and the environment and you don't even bring up your boss, he's still going to see it as complaining.

00:11:42.480 And nobody likes when people complain. What, what, what is the quote by Teddy Roosevelt? Um, uh, uh, complaining without proposing a solution is just called whining, something like that.

00:11:51.900 Yeah. And I, and I think you gotta be really, really careful in here. So what I would suggest is that you, you propose the solution that you propose the solution and you actually be part of it. So I don't think there's any problem as long as it's your place to reach out to your boss and say, Hey boss, you know, I've been noticing some things in the office that are, that are a detriment to what we're doing here. They're slowing down production or they're reducing our bottom line. Talk to it in the, in a perspective that he would appreciate, right?

00:12:17.900 Which is increasing revenues and being more productive, et cetera, et cetera. And then once you explain why that is a problem, then I might suggest. So if Kip, you're my boss. So Kip, one of the things that I thought we could do is this initiative. And here's how I would implement it. Here's some things that I would incorporate. Here's some things and some ways that it will increase production and increase our bottom line and improve morale and all of these things that your boss likely cares about.

00:12:46.180 And that might include getting him on board with being part of the solution. You don't even have to say it's part of the problem, but if you can incorporate the solution and allow him to present and become part of the solution, I think you'll see big improvements in him. And if you don't, I mean, there's always, you've always got to be planning for your exit.

00:13:05.860 I think in a way, not, not an escape strategy necessarily, but you've constantly got to be developing your skills and keeping your mind and options open to what else is available because sometimes people just don't change. And you have to make a decision. Do I stick around long enough where I help him win and I excel and I grow and he gets promoted and I get promoted.

00:13:23.560 Uh, or do I go over to this other environment, which could potentially be better, but it's not always that way. Cause what could happen is you could go over to this other environment because the environment you're in is toxic and you can actually put yourself into a worse scenario. Like you thought it was going to be better and it was actually worse than before.

00:13:39.060 So, so, so if you've got a problem, no problem. I think that's a great thing that men recognize what's going wrong. But I think the difference between boys and men, quite frankly, is that boys recognize problems, men solve problems. So be part of the solution.

00:13:56.960 Yeah. Ryan, would you suggest to Tim that it's possible for him and his quote unquote coworkers to change that toxic environment and, and have it be more positive?

00:14:09.820 Regardless of what their boss is doing?

00:14:11.680 A hundred percent. But you got to be careful because you don't want to create a mutiny.

00:14:15.660 Right. Because if you do, then you'll, you'll be sacrificed.

00:14:18.800 Yeah.

00:14:19.260 So you can't go to your coworkers and say, Hey, listen, Kip and listen, Bob and listen, John, you know, you guys know our boss is a real asshole. So here's what I'm thinking about doing. Let's tweak this and change this and fix this. And then we'll show him and everything will be better.

00:14:31.140 Well, guess what Bob and Tim and you are going to do when, you know, your job's on the line or something happens, they're going to, they're going to hang you out to dry.

00:14:39.060 So if you're going to do that, if you're going to create some of these initiatives then, or, or standards of operating within the organization, then just be careful not to pin anything back on your boss. Otherwise it'll come back to bite you.

00:14:50.940 Yeah. Yeah. And I'm wondering how much there's an opportunity there for Tim to be kind of the lighthouse in this scenario and kind of set a precedence and, and see if his boss picks up on it a little bit.

00:15:01.040 A hundred percent. And, and don't be so, I mean, that's a great start, but remember just don't be totally passive and just hoping that things work out because you got better. Like actually be part of that solution.

00:15:10.540 Yeah. Yeah. Copy. Cool. Okay. Cool. Bailey Ford. What do you guys want for Christmas?

00:15:17.180 Uh, I haven't, I don't really think about, you know, one thing I have been thinking a lot about actually is a bow press. There's like the couple of, uh, the, the couple of bow shops here in our town for making a bow, like a wooden bow.

00:15:30.020 Well, no, no, no. Repairing mostly. And. Oh, okay. My compound bow. Yeah. Working on my, dialing it in, tuning it up, replacing strings, just working on my bow in general.

00:15:40.260 Okay. So it keeps a bow in a held position that would allow you to like re replace strings without it.

00:15:47.060 That's correct. Essentially what it does is it flexes the limbs so that there's not so much pressure on the strings.

00:15:51.980 So you can take the strings off, you can make adjustments and corrections. That's one thing I've been thinking about wanting to do the bow shops here in town.

00:15:57.960 Uh, one, one, the guy's a real piece of work. I can share that and save that for another, another story. So I refuse to go to him.

00:16:05.860 Uh, the other one's like 40 minutes away and you know, I, he great guy, great shop, but it's 40 minutes away. So it's a challenge.

00:16:13.040 So I want to start working. It's good to know your equipment for yourself anyways. So I think working on it would be a good thing for me.

00:16:19.200 That's cool. So my first would be that my wife listens to the podcast. So she actually knows what I want for Christmas.

00:16:25.660 You want her to live? Dude, I don't want my wife to listen. I don't think. Cause then she's going to hold me accountable to what I say. You know, she already does. She's like, what would the iron council guys think of your behavior today?

00:16:35.700 Totally. You know, I don't want more of that.

00:16:38.080 Yeah. I don't want to be judged against my words.

00:16:40.980 That's right. Exactly. I mean, some accountability is fine, but let's not go overboard here guys.

00:16:45.960 Yeah. Or it's the opposite. She's like, well, you should listen to Ryan. Cause Ryan had really good advice.

00:16:50.260 Isn't that funny? Like my wife, one of the things my wife will do is she'll say something, you know, she'll listen to something or read a book.

00:16:56.020 And she's like, Hey, I really think we should start getting our finances in order. I'm like, yeah, I've been telling you that for the past decade.

00:17:02.520 Oh yeah. But the way so-and-so said it really made sense. I'm like, Oh my goodness.

00:17:06.860 It's like, what do they call it? Never a profit in your own land kind of thing. I think that's, that's what you run into.

00:17:12.160 Dude, I, um, we could have a whole, sorry, I'm sidetracking you here.

00:17:15.600 Yeah, totally. That's funny. In fact, it was funny. I, uh, I went to a, we, Asia's family does a big family reunion every Christmas and, well, not a reunion, but you get what I'm saying.

00:17:26.740 If they get, get together for Christmas and a cousin that actually lives out of state, I believe. And I don't see him very often. I've, I've seen him like just a couple of times and he goes, Hey, really enjoying the ordering man podcast.

00:17:39.940 I'm like, what? Like, I didn't even know you were like even knew about it. Yeah. So it's, it's kind of embarrassing every so often where I hear someone's like, Hey, listen to your episode is really great. I'm like, Oh, you don't have to be, man. They're giving you a compliment. You, you do a great job, Kip. I don't think you have to be embarrassed at all. In fact, I get more and more comments that are like, yeah, we like Kip better than you or, or we, they don't say that, but they'll, they'll say like, um, yeah, they'll say, Oh, you know, your best episodes are the ask me anything. I'm like, well, I wonder why it would be those. I'm like, well, it's the only one that.

00:18:09.720 It is. So yeah. Well, and I think it's just, well, it's the dynamic. Yeah. The feedback I've gotten is really, it's just very personable. Like guys, guys can relate a little bit more.

00:18:21.320 It's just a conversation, right. As opposed to like a quote unquote interview.

00:18:25.020 Totally. Well, and we're not a Goggins, right? It's like Goggins is like inspiring, but it's sometimes hard to relate to some of these guys that are just hardcore.

00:18:33.180 Well, that, that, and frankly, sometimes it's bullshit. And I'm not saying that about David Goggins. I think he's, he's a beast, but I see a lot of these like social media quote unquote influencers.

00:18:43.340 And I just think you're full of crap, man. Like, you know, they're, they, they, they don't ever share any of their defeats or any of their, their, their realness or their humanity.

00:18:53.600 And they're just put all these quotes and talk about how great everything is and how wonderful and how everything they do touches the gold or turns to gold.

00:19:01.440 And it's like, nobody believes that shit. And, and the more, especially guys, like we're skeptical as it is. And so if you're trying to prop yourself up above other people, by pretending you don't have your own baggage that you need to deal with, you're never going to inspire somebody the way you could, if you're just be real with them.

00:19:18.640 Yeah, totally.

00:19:19.820 And then, and then the other side of it too, Kip is even the guys that say they want to be real. You can always tell because they use the terms genuine and authentic. I want to be authentic. Who the hell says that?

00:19:30.240 I do. I use that term all the time.

00:19:33.020 You do?

00:19:34.040 Yeah.

00:19:34.600 That kills me. I'm like, that is such a buzzword. Like, it's like, nobody, that's like, that's like, to me, that's it that falls into the same camp of when like a, a, a, a company messed up and they're like, our deepest apologies. It's like, nobody says that.

00:19:50.200 What they say is, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. I messed up. You know? And so you can always tell this little, this, this corporate talk or this, this jargon.

00:19:58.900 And so here I am bashing you on saying authentic and genuine.

00:20:01.880 Kip's so great on this podcast. I hate those guys that say authentic. Oh wait, you say it?

00:20:06.700 You're out. Guys, AMAs will be me only moving forward and they will not be genuine or authentic.

00:20:14.280 Authentic. Yeah. Kip's too authentic for us.

00:20:16.140 So I want to, I want a Glock, the concealed one. What is that? What is that?

00:20:23.240 Well, I have the Glock 43. That's the single stack.

00:20:26.120 The single stack. Yeah.

00:20:27.080 Okay. That's what I want for Christmas.

00:20:28.600 Good to know, man.

00:20:29.160 There you go. Thanks, Asia.

00:20:30.760 Does she know?

00:20:32.820 No, I don't think so.

00:20:34.220 Okay.

00:20:34.800 I, she, she, I don't know. She's good though. She's great at getting me stuff that I, I, I need.

00:20:39.700 So, yeah. Cause you, you need that. You need that. Uh, okay. Things that I want that I say I need.

00:20:48.300 Right. I like it.

00:20:49.480 I need new keys and more. No keys.

00:20:52.140 Guys, I'll just tell you a little secret about Kip here. This, this dude, when we were at origin,

00:20:56.700 he was up till I would say maybe 2 AM or so, maybe even three waiting for the newest deals to come out

00:21:02.980 on. What's that website? What's that, the jujitsu website?

00:21:05.580 We need, we, we can't mention them. We need them as a sponsor first.

00:21:09.020 They got pay to play.

00:21:10.160 Yeah. PJ, uh, BJJ HQ.

00:21:12.800 And what do they come out with discounts? Like every 10 minutes or something?

00:21:16.240 Well, it was a rolling deal. Yeah. So on the rolling deals is like every 10 minutes,

00:21:20.080 like it's some new fresh gi, man, it's, it's a problem. And I wasn't the only one, by the way,

00:21:25.760 Matt Arrington was out there too.

00:21:27.960 Same thing.

00:21:28.560 Yeah. I was trying to sleep cause I was beat. I mean, the guys who are good at jujitsu,

00:21:32.800 you know, they aren't tired or anything from the week long that we were out there,

00:21:35.580 but I was like, beat. I'm like, I need more sleep. And I look over and I just see this little,

00:21:40.100 the little light on Kip's phone. He's like looking for deals.

00:21:44.720 In fact, Matt was probably in the other cabin just doing pushups still. Cause he didn't even

00:21:48.460 get a decent workout.

00:21:49.640 He is an animal.

00:21:51.080 He is.

00:21:51.860 Yeah.

00:21:52.520 Big boy too.

00:21:53.880 Big boy.

00:21:54.160 He's big. And he's actually gotten bigger, like, like stronger over the past. I remember I went,

00:21:59.560 I hadn't seen him cause he, he, he partners with us and does the, uh, legacy and uprising events.

00:22:04.260 And so he's a friend of mine, but I hadn't seen him for maybe a couple of months. You know,

00:22:07.560 he was busy. I was busy. We just didn't see each other. And, uh, man, I went to jujitsu one night

00:22:12.440 and I saw him after not seeing him for a couple of months. I was like, Holy crap, dude. Like this guy

00:22:17.420 is jacked. He is a big boy. And every once in a while I roll with him. And the name of the game

00:22:23.400 is just like survival, just survive. If you can survive, that's a win.

00:22:27.360 When it helps you appreciate the fact that you're not striking. Like I was thinking that

00:22:31.300 when I was rolling with him in fat origin, I was like, you know, good thing. We're not

00:22:35.180 punching each other. I would just beat the shit out of me. I would just sneak up nut shot and run

00:22:40.100 away. All right. Dad's question. Dan, uh, Lario. Sure. I think he asked a question last week.

00:22:49.760 Yeah. I probably slaughtered his name last week as well. Uh, his question, big Christmas tree

00:22:54.340 or real tree. Big questions here, guys. I mean, that's real tree, obviously real tree. I will say

00:23:00.000 I'm ashamed. I actually am ashamed. I look in my living room and I see this beautiful tree

00:23:04.980 except for we, we, we bought it. And so every year made like pre-made and decorated. No, no, no,

00:23:13.080 no. It is. We bought it at the, it's fake. Yeah. No, no, it's a real tree. We just got it at the

00:23:18.140 nursery thing. Yeah. I see. But usually, usually my boys and I will go up into the mountains and cut

00:23:24.300 down our own tree and they are significantly inferior trees. I'll just say that, but it's

00:23:30.720 just the memory and the experience. And I'm ashamed to admit that I just dropped the ball this year,

00:23:35.860 man. But real tree. Brian being authentic. Genetic, genetically engineered tree. How's that?

00:23:45.660 They probably are genetically engineered. Well, they are. I mean, that's why it looks so beautiful.

00:23:49.100 They're flawless, but I'd rather have a little bit of a Charlie Brown tree knowing that me and my boys

00:23:53.740 went out and cut it down and created some experiences and got some exercise.

00:23:58.160 So I'm definitely on the real tree train. Um, but I'm a city boy now, man. Like as a kid,

00:24:04.700 we always cut down our trees. I don't even know where I'd go to go cut down a tree up here in the,

00:24:08.280 in Salt Lake. So look East and just find a tree and you'll see, I mean, you live right under the

00:24:16.120 mountain. You could literally walk a mile up and you'd see these pine trees. I'm sure

00:24:20.220 with some ranger. Just go out to somebody's yard. I've seen your, your neighborhood. Just go to

00:24:24.820 somebody's yard and cut down one of their pine trees. Totally. And then when they ask about,

00:24:29.680 when they ask about come out and they're all upset, you just give them a piece of paper.

00:24:33.780 It's your permit. And on it, like, um, Oh, what's his name? Uh, parks and rec. What's the parks and

00:24:38.560 rec guy's name? I know you're talking about. He just says, uh, Oh, here's my permission or whatever.

00:24:44.000 And it just, it's a typed paper that he wrote that says, I can do anything I want. Ron Swanson.

00:24:51.820 That's right. Oh man. What is funny is how, how that paper's like evident of something official.

00:24:58.600 It's like, you know, I could have typed that up and printed it. That's right.

00:25:02.140 Yeah. You should do that. I think, I think you'd get away with it.

00:25:04.760 All right. Maybe not. Maybe I'll man up next year and, uh, go cut down a tree in my neighbor's

00:25:11.760 yard. Ryan. Ryan Mickler said it was okay. Just, just put it on me. Yep. All right. Jeff

00:25:20.240 flew it. How do you deal with the dichotomies in life when it comes to self-improvement? For example,

00:25:26.420 eating right. If I have a bad meal or a bad day, there can be a tendency to say

00:25:30.940 heck with it and fall off the wagon. I find that you have to let go of what is done and get back to

00:25:36.560 work. But how do you find the balance between moving onward and letting yourself off the hook

00:25:41.480 too easily? Same could go for working out, et cetera. I mean, you recognize it. So just get

00:25:46.780 back on the, on track. Think about this. And I think we've talked about this analogy before. If

00:25:50.600 you're, if you're driving down the road, a dirt road, let's see, and you're looking for that perfect

00:25:55.500 Christmas tree and your tires get in this muddy rut. It's really difficult to get out of that rut.

00:26:02.640 But once you do, that's where all the energy is expended is getting out of the rut. Right. But

00:26:07.220 once you're out of the rut and you're, and you're back on top of the road, everything's fine. Now you

00:26:11.620 just maintain, right? You just make sure you don't fall back into it. But the real challenge comes with

00:26:16.000 getting out of it initially. And so if you get out of it and allow yourself to fall back into it,

00:26:20.740 it's like starting over every single time. So for me, the best thing I've done or, or have worked

00:26:26.980 on for myself is not allowing myself to slip and slide back into that rut. Because then I know I

00:26:32.560 have to exert myself even so much more trying to get back out of the rut. I'd much rather maintain.

00:26:39.480 So yeah. Can you have a meal and mess up? Of course. But the trick is, is not allowing yourself

00:26:47.160 off the hook. I think we're, we're way too forgiving on ourselves sometimes. And a lot of P a lot of

00:26:54.940 society will say, Oh, you should be right. You should be forgiving of yourself and Oh, take it

00:26:59.680 easy on yourself. And Oh, it's hard. And we understand and it's okay. Look, I'm not interested

00:27:05.740 in mediocrity. I know Kip. You're not. I know most of the guys who are listening to this aren't,

00:27:11.020 at least they say they aren't. So if that's the case, then stop being so easy on yourself.

00:27:16.220 Maybe actually what you need is to be a little bit harder on yourself because nobody else is

00:27:20.900 going to do it. You should be the standard by which you measure everything. And it should be

00:27:25.980 the greatest standard that exists. My standard for myself, Kip should be superior to your standard

00:27:33.260 for me or my wife's standard for me or my kids or my whoever that I'm dealing with. My standard

00:27:38.500 should always be the highest standard. I think most of society will forgive and forget and excuse

00:27:44.780 away mediocre behavior. And yet it's ourselves that have to hold ourselves to this higher level

00:27:50.640 of accountability. Now, I will also say this, Jeff, is that if you can find somebody who has the same

00:27:58.620 level of accountability for themselves that you would like for yourself, it's probably safe to assume

00:28:05.180 that that is an individual who could potentially be a great partner for you in accountability and

00:28:12.460 working together and pushing and motivating and inspiring. And so I think there's real value and

00:28:18.140 you're doing that because you're, you're in the iron council, but there's real value in having other

00:28:22.660 high achieving men who hold themselves to a high standard also hold your feet to the fire a little

00:28:28.080 bit as well. Yeah. One analogy I've heard that I really like, and it's a, it's a little bit of a play

00:28:35.280 on words, but it's around the idea that we need to be unreasonable with ourselves. Yes.

00:28:43.120 Be without reason. Oh, I did that because I have this reason or whatever. Be unreasonable. Like,

00:28:48.580 and, and what's great about it is that's where we can be inspiring to people where we actually are on

00:28:54.700 the court, even if we have a good reason or we have a way out or geez, Jeff, you're so extreme,

00:29:00.340 man. You're like really hardcore on your diet. That's inspiring to people. But when you're kind of,

00:29:05.280 like, ah, bad day, good day, ah, and you're flaky and you're not fully committed and you're not

00:29:09.220 being unreasonable, that's not inspiring to anybody. That's just, ah, yeah, he's, he's trying.

00:29:15.120 Yeah, it's true. Be unreasonable. Yeah. I like that, man. I think there's so much value in that.

00:29:20.640 And, and one of the things that we're going to do guys, just so you know, in January is I'm

00:29:24.020 working with origin right now. We're going to partner up on a, on an initiative. We're going to

00:29:28.060 call it. Uh, and I, and I think I have a term for it, which is wage war on weakness, uh, where we're

00:29:33.780 going to have you guys develop more strength in three areas. So it's mind, body and, and, and,

00:29:41.320 well, let me, let me say it this way. It's physical, mental, and emotional, and it's not just you.

00:29:45.860 It's actually holding your kids accountable to it as well. So you're going to be doing it with

00:29:48.980 your children. It's going to be really cool. Cool. So yeah. The other thing I would add to Kip,

00:29:53.160 one of the things you reminded me of is I was at the gym this morning and this speaks to having

00:29:57.660 somebody hold you accountable and push you and inspire you. Uh, so I was at the gym this morning and

00:30:02.180 working on a particular move called the snatch balance is what it's called. And I looked at what

00:30:07.700 I had done and I think I did like 165 pounds or something like that just a couple of years ago

00:30:13.360 was my, my max rep. And so I, I talked with, with my coach and he's like, Oh yeah, I got 225 pounds

00:30:19.360 like the other day or last week. And I have a little mini competition with him. He's, he's,

00:30:24.740 he's stronger than I am. He's, he's more technical than I am on some of these lifts. And so I have

00:30:29.480 like a mini competition. He's somebody I inspire to be like, aspire to be like, excuse me. And so

00:30:34.720 he said, I did 225. Well, in my mind, when I got into there, I was like, Oh, I think I can get 205

00:30:39.160 today. That'd be a 40 pound PR. I'd feel pretty good about that. But knowing that he got 225,

00:30:44.220 I really pushed myself. And so this morning I got 225 pounds, but I wouldn't have got that if he

00:30:50.500 wasn't there to tell me what he got. So that little bit of healthy competition goes such a long way.

00:30:56.220 I think, especially for men, I think we thrive on it. Like this guy, I want to beat this guy,

00:31:00.320 or I want to stay up with this guy. And so we push ourselves harder than we may do on our own.

00:31:07.220 Cool. Right on. I love, and I love the fact that for Jeff's question, Ryan, that you

00:31:12.980 related it to accountability because it's not just like personal accountability, but extreme

00:31:18.800 accountability between two individuals, such as what we might see within the iron council

00:31:23.480 is unreasonable. Right? Like I, if I, if I'm holding Jeff accountable, I can't buy into his

00:31:30.400 reasons. I can't be, Oh, it's so, you know, don't beat yourself up, Jeff. It's not a big deal.

00:31:35.820 We all have cheat days or whatever. That doesn't help him.

00:31:39.640 Well, and not only that, but you can't create excuses for your own life. Cause how are you going

00:31:44.420 to, how am I going to go to you Kip and say, Hey Kip, did you do your, your, your task for today

00:31:49.440 that you wanted to accomplish? And you're like, yeah, man, it was hard. And I had to make some

00:31:52.460 sacrifices and move some things around. Good job, man. I was really rooting for you. And then you

00:31:56.580 asked me, I'm like, Oh no, I didn't do that. Like it's, it's so disingenuous that you're going to

00:32:02.880 naturally keep yourself from doing that. Yeah. And I think that's why, to be honest with you,

00:32:09.240 why people don't hold other people accountable most of the time is because they don't want to

00:32:12.720 be held accountable. Really good point. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. It's really uncomfortable.

00:32:16.460 And that's the point of it. You want to be uncomfortable. I heard, I heard a podcast this

00:32:21.760 morning. I can't remember what he's talking about or whose podcast. I listened to so many.

00:32:25.860 What was it? You were listening to order of man. I thought that's the only podcast you listened to.

00:32:29.540 It was, it was me. I said this three weeks ago. It was amazing. It was amazing. What was it? Oh,

00:32:34.860 he said something to the effect of life's going to be hard. Like it's going to present its fair share of

00:32:41.200 challenges. So you can either accept and embrace that and actually work and move towards those

00:32:46.420 discomforts and the challenges, or you can be caught off guard with them. But one way or the other,

00:32:53.200 you're going to have to face hardship. It's just going to be on your terms or somebody or something

00:32:58.040 else's terms. So it's better to make it your own terms. Yeah. I love that. In fact, I use that analogy

00:33:03.000 with when I'm, I've mentioned this a bunch of times to Asia. I really think that in the end,

00:33:07.760 we all learn what we need to learn. The question is, is did we learn it on our own or did the world

00:33:13.140 force it upon us? Yeah. But either way, we're going to get it. And have you ever talked with

00:33:18.540 these people who like continue to do the same dumb shit over and over and over and over again?

00:33:23.780 And they're like, why does this keep happening to me? I'm like, cause you haven't learned the

00:33:27.440 lesson, dumb ass. And yeah, like, I don't mean to be harsh on that. It's going to happen to you.

00:33:31.980 Yeah. I don't mean to be like, like harsh about that, but like, that's the truth.

00:33:36.860 Can you not see that the same, the reason the same things keep happening to you

00:33:40.680 is because you keep doing the same thing. How can you not see this? And yet there's millions of

00:33:46.640 people. Look, I've fallen into that trap too. There's millions of us who keep doing the same

00:33:51.180 thing and not really understanding why it happens. Learn the lesson so you don't have to learn it

00:33:56.960 again. Yeah. And the best way to do that is take ownership over the scenario. Otherwise you're never

00:34:01.360 going to have any form of self-reflection to know where you played a part in the scenario.

00:34:06.420 Yeah. Yeah. Good point. Jacko. Christopher Gatsko. What are some guidelines you wish men

00:34:12.720 knew about posting on the Order of Man Facebook group? Look here, here it is, man. Chris is like,

00:34:18.560 help me out here. Yeah. Help me. Help me. Stop whining. That's it. Stop whining. Like I understand

00:34:28.360 that things happen in life that are bad. All right. You lose your job. You get sued. Your marriage falls

00:34:35.900 apart. You get some sort of health diagnosis or something. I understand. I've been there. I've

00:34:42.700 been in bad situations. All of us have. But what good does whining about it do? And that's what I

00:34:48.820 have a real problem with when these guys come into the Facebook group and they're like, oh, my life and

00:34:53.240 woe is me and everything's horrible and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, propose some solutions,

00:34:58.480 man. Yep.

00:34:59.780 Like, this is your life. Look, and you know what? Even the solutions that you propose,

00:35:04.180 they might not be awesome, but at least you're working towards something.

00:35:08.640 But don't come anywhere. Don't complain to your wife or your kids or those you would lead about all

00:35:16.740 the bad things that are happening in your life without presenting some sort of solution. Even if

00:35:21.560 it's not some sort of sophisticated solution, at least it's something. At least you're moving forward.

00:35:28.900 So what I would rather see is a guy who's down on his luck or whatever. Let's say he's going through

00:35:33.940 divorce. Instead of coming in the Facebook group and crying about how his wife did this and wife

00:35:38.440 did that and she did this and she did that is like, hey, look, here's where I'm at. My wife moved

00:35:43.060 out or my wife cheated on me or I cheated on her or whatever. And I realized I really screwed this

00:35:47.980 thing up. So here's my strategy. One, two, three, four. I'm going to do these things over the next three

00:35:54.100 months or six months. And I'll let you guys know. I'll fill you in. In the meantime, any other input

00:36:00.140 that you have for me where I can tweak my plan or change my plan or adapt or evolve. This is how men

00:36:05.200 behave. I don't want this to be some sort of like wine session where everybody comes and complains

00:36:11.340 about how horrible their life is. Guys, nobody should care about your life more than you do,

00:36:16.660 which means that you need to take ownership, which you just said, Kip,

00:36:19.500 and start proposing some solutions to your own circumstances in which you find yourself.

00:36:25.960 If more of us did that, not just in the Facebook group, but more of us did that in life, more of us

00:36:31.740 did that within our families, more of us did that at work like the gentleman earlier asked about,

00:36:36.580 the better off everybody would be. So yeah, you're going to find yourself in some real crappy

00:36:41.780 situations because that's part of life. But stand up, dust yourself off and create a new plan.

00:36:49.500 To fix your situation, to get everything locked in the way it should be.

00:36:54.100 Could I suggest and add something to that, Ryan?

00:36:56.380 No, that's it. I'm just kidding.

00:36:57.780 No, I'm going anyway. I have a mic in front of me.

00:37:02.960 When you get feedback from other men, don't excuse it. Don't explain it. Don't go,

00:37:08.580 oh, well, I tried. Do nothing.

00:37:10.300 Great point.

00:37:10.780 Other than take it, put it on your lap, and try. Because the minute you reply and go,

00:37:15.660 oh, well, yeah, but you're just excusing. You're coming up with reasons and excuses already.

00:37:22.880 And you're making it about you and how you look and your ego more than it is addressing the issue.

00:37:29.040 So actually, be authentic. I'm just joking. I'm joking.

00:37:32.940 Genuine.

00:37:33.920 Be genuine.

00:37:36.200 Guys will leave comments and just take it and say, okay, awesome. Thanks, guys.

00:37:41.860 And stop making it about how you look in this scenario. And stop the story, too.

00:37:46.240 Like the whole backstory. Oh, I got to explain this whole story.

00:37:49.380 That's just excuse powdered with a little bit of reason, a little bit of victimhood,

00:37:55.480 and pity potty. That's what those stories are. So stop the story. Get straight to the point.

00:38:02.380 This is what I'm hoping to do. When guys give you replies, don't try to rebuttal or

00:38:06.540 correct them or anything. Just accept the feedback.

00:38:11.100 Right. Even if they're not great at delivering it. Because that's one thing I get a lot of times.

00:38:15.080 It's like, oh, there's some real jerks in here. It's like, yeah, there's 52,000 guys in here.

00:38:19.940 Like some of us are jerks. And sometimes you need to hear something in a new way. And having

00:38:25.100 somebody pat you on the back and tell you everything's going to be okay might work in

00:38:30.060 some circumstances. And sometimes you need to get kicked in the teeth a little bit.

00:38:33.840 Yeah. And you need a little bit of Bubba. A little bit of Bubba to reply.

00:38:37.160 That's right. So don't complain when somebody's like, oh, he was a jerk.

00:38:40.620 Well, okay. But is there some validity to what he's saying? Yeah. Okay. Well,

00:38:44.540 maybe he's just not great at communicating it. Yeah. Now there's a difference between, you know,

00:38:49.220 somebody being, being a little harsh and then somebody blatantly, you know, beating you up or

00:38:54.280 putting you down or mocking or ridiculed. That's different, but there's a line. You got to know

00:38:58.620 what that line is. Yeah. Cool. Abraham Christensen. Hey, a name that I can pronounce easily.

00:39:06.200 This one may be more for Kip since I know he has a, that he's also a stepdad, but I would like to hear

00:39:12.260 any input from either of you. My oldest son, 12 has started to be disrespectful to my wife

00:39:17.140 who is not his mom. He only seems to do this when I'm at work or not at home. This infuriates me

00:39:25.040 because it's always when I'm not around. He basically gives her a lot of attitude when she

00:39:29.840 tries to correct him when he is stepping out of line, just like I would if I were home. I only have

00:39:36.540 him every other week. And sometimes he goes back to his mom's house before I get home. And I don't

00:39:41.080 see him for a week. What is the best way to deal with this kind of behavior?

00:39:45.540 You want to go first or me? Yeah, I can give it a whirl. Um, first off, realize that his behavior

00:39:55.120 may not be try to remove. And then we say this a different way. Try to remove the meaning that

00:40:02.420 you're putting around his actions. And what I mean by that is there's more to it than him just being

00:40:10.000 disrespectful or he doesn't care about my wife or whatever. In fact, he may not even be trying to

00:40:14.940 be disrespectful. He might just be being a punk, right? And not being thoughtful. The other thing

00:40:20.860 that you have to keep in mind is what kind of messaging is he getting, um, from the ex-wife,

00:40:26.520 right? He, he may have this built up animosity, uh, for your wife, um, kind of based upon feedback

00:40:35.000 and suggestions and comments and other things that he's hearing from other places. So I think

00:40:40.400 the first thing is, is realize and try to remove, remove the meaning that you're putting around the

00:40:45.120 behavior. Second, um, without a doubt, however you address the issue. And I think we mentioned this

00:40:51.600 last week, Ryan is you got to make sure that your kids know that they're loved unconditionally,

00:40:57.080 uh, regardless of their actions. Now I'm not saying you, Oh, it's okay, Timmy. It's not a big deal.

00:41:02.900 No, it's a big deal. But you, you want to make sure that, uh, that he knows that he's loved.

00:41:08.060 And I would actually just talk to him and add the conversation of, Hey, when you communicate in this

00:41:14.360 way, um, it comes across as rude and you know what I mean? And why are you doing it? Why are you

00:41:20.940 frustrated? And is he getting that maybe from you when you're upset or, or from someone else? Like

00:41:27.380 these kids, I mean, they're getting it from somewhere. I mean, I love it when, when our kids like

00:41:32.380 yell at each other and then we yell at him, stop yelling at your brother. You know, it's like,

00:41:35.900 Oh my gosh, we're so lame. They're just doing what we do. Right. A lot of the time. So he's

00:41:42.880 probably picking this up from somewhere, but I think you just have to have the conversation,

00:41:47.100 but in the same token, and here's one other thought, because this crossed my mind actually

00:41:50.860 last night is some of the, let me say this. My four-year-old Kiabe, he does not think about

00:42:00.820 consequences for his actions. He's very impulsive, just acts, acts. And then he like deals with

00:42:07.560 consequences after the fact. And one of the thoughts that entered my mind last night was,

00:42:11.640 Hey, let's establish consequences ahead of time before they even happen. So maybe establish that

00:42:18.540 guideline with him. Say, Hey, here's the deal. If you're disrespectful and clarify, this is what

00:42:23.660 disrespectful looks like. When you do these things, here's the consequence before it ever even happens.

00:42:28.320 And then when it does happen, then it's, it's not an emotional reaction of getting mad. It's more of a,

00:42:33.740 Hey, here's the guideline. We established these rules. Okay. This is now going to be the consequence,

00:42:39.220 you know, and leave it as that and try to be very stoic about it. That's all I can think of.

00:42:44.300 What do you got?

00:42:44.680 No, I think that's perfect. I, I, I really wouldn't add much. The only thing I would say

00:42:48.260 just to your last point there is you've, you've got to really communicate these expectations.

00:42:52.560 You know, this, this is your house. You are the man of the house. And so you need to communicate

00:42:57.080 the expectations. Number one, my expectation is that all of us are on a team. If you're in this

00:43:01.080 house, you're on a team. I like that. My wife is part of the team. I'm part of the team. You

00:43:06.800 children are part of the team. And just like any other team, each of us carries our own weight.

00:43:10.800 All of us are playing a different role, but we all have the same objective, which is to create an

00:43:15.660 environment of love and, and support and unity in what it is that we're trying to create for

00:43:21.180 ourselves as a family. And you're going to be a great member of the team. And here's what that

00:43:25.040 actually looks like specifically. And here's how we treat each other. And here's how we behave. And

00:43:30.200 here's the, the expectation of the way that you show up. You need to show up this way as a team

00:43:36.520 member. Here are to your point, Kip, what you said earlier, the consequences of not being a great

00:43:40.600 member of this team. So I think it really, really comes down to a very clear set of expectations.

00:43:46.680 And then knowing that we're working together as a team. So not a whole lot of different or,

00:43:50.900 or addition to what you already said. Yeah. And we've actually, one of our counselors even added,

00:43:56.400 if you don't mind me adding this really quick, one of our counselors told us that based upon how

00:44:00.680 fragile that relationship is that he has with your wife, uh, you may not want her to lay down

00:44:06.340 the hammer and, and maybe leave that up to you. Um, so then that way he knows it's coming from you

00:44:13.380 and that might better that relationship temporarily until he realizes it's a team effort, right? Versus

00:44:18.780 let me play mom against dad kind of, right. Kind of mentality. Good point. So, yeah, that's,

00:44:23.860 that's it. You said another thing, mom against dad is that my wife and I do, I think we do a pretty

00:44:28.520 good job of making sure that we're on the same team. And we've, we've done this long enough now

00:44:32.920 where we know they're trying to play, play us a little bit. So, you know, somebody will come and

00:44:37.520 ask me something and I know like, well, what does your mom say? Well, she said this, then that's the

00:44:41.300 answer. Even if I disagree with my wife, by the way, like if, if, if my kid says, Hey, can, uh,

00:44:48.360 can we watch TV for example? And, and I say, well, what did mom say? Well, mom said no. And I

00:44:54.860 thought, well, it's not a big deal. We're not doing anything. They can watch a half an hour of TV.

00:44:57.820 I'm going to support my wife in that decision. And I'm going to say, well, that's the answer.

00:45:02.140 Then now I'm going to go to my wife after and say, Hey hon, can you help me understand why the kids

00:45:07.000 can't watch half an hour of TV before dinner or what? I'm just making something up, right?

00:45:10.580 Yeah. Now her and I get on the same page so that the next time there's no confusion between her and

00:45:15.660 I, but I'm not going to contradict what she says. Even if I disagree with her, unless it's like

00:45:19.540 putting a kid in danger or something like that, which it wouldn't. Uh, but I don't contradict my wife

00:45:24.640 in front of my children. Her and I communicate that after if there's a contradiction and then

00:45:28.700 we get on the same page moving forward. Copy. Dennis Morris, what does it mean to be a man

00:45:35.440 curious for both of your answers and would a brimmed order of man beanie be the solution to

00:45:41.080 the world's problems? Well, the answer to the second question is no. Cause as soon as you come

00:45:45.460 out with that, somebody's going to be like, well, I wanted pink or whatever. So no, the end,

00:45:50.720 there is no solution to the world's problems. As long as the, as long as the brim is flat on the

00:45:55.920 beanie, it might, then you're okay. Yeah. Uh, what does it mean to be a man? Well, I mean, I've,

00:46:02.620 I've said this a thousand times, right? Is a man is, is somebody who takes responsibility

00:46:08.120 and accountability for himself and also for those he has an obligation for. So that's his children.

00:46:16.280 That's his wife. That's neighbors. Uh, that's coworkers, employees, people that he sees over

00:46:23.860 in some sort of a, uh, a religious or ecclesiastical setting. If he's not taking

00:46:29.300 accountability and responsibility for those individuals and including himself, then he's

00:46:33.060 not acting as a man. He's not acting in a manly behavior. Uh, in addition to that, he understands

00:46:38.480 that his role is that of protector provider and presider that as he is stepping more into those

00:46:44.920 callings and developing skillsets that allow him to fulfill each one of those roles more effectively,

00:46:50.360 he is working towards and moving closer to being a man. And look, we're not always acting in a manly

00:46:56.560 behavior. There's some times where I don't act like I'm a man. Like I act like a boy sometimes,

00:47:02.400 you know, I slip or I fall or I make a mistake or I mess up and I actually end up acting more like a

00:47:08.920 boy, like a child than a man. So this isn't some area where, you know, you, you, you reach the

00:47:15.100 pinnacle of manhood and then you maintain, no, you've got to continually work towards it because

00:47:20.160 it's easy to fall out of this manly behavior. So we constantly work towards being more capable

00:47:27.320 of stepping into those roles I just talked about.

00:47:30.320 This is a tough question and, and I'm, I'm going to be totally cliche because everything that you

00:47:37.440 just said, I like completely agree with, and I've totally taken on Ryan's definition of a man for

00:47:43.660 myself. And I'll be really frank. If I was asked this question two years ago, I don't even know if

00:47:49.780 I'd know the answer to it. Um, to be frank. So to put it in my own words, I really think it's,

00:47:55.960 it's, it's in the same line, uh, taking responsibility for one's own life and those

00:48:01.540 within his care. Um, and I do think one little aspect of that, that I, I would like to add is

00:48:07.520 that there's, there's always continuous growth in, in regards to that in which you are responsible

00:48:13.840 for. I really do think that it's our responsibility that, that once we're taking care of our families

00:48:19.900 and those in our care and, uh, coworkers that our impact is constantly getting larger and larger.

00:48:27.340 And it should now, obviously not at the depriment of affecting our families in a negative way or

00:48:32.820 anything else, but we should always be progressing and impacting a greater, greater amount of people

00:48:38.740 in our lives and in better ways. Absolutely. Well said, my friend, well said.

00:48:45.160 You just said, well said, just cause I agreed with you. I think I said, well said to the additional

00:48:49.820 little amendments that you added to it. Yeah. Okay. All right, cool. Awesome. You hear that

00:48:57.480 guys? I got Ryan McClure's approval. That's all you need. All right. We're, we're jumping into

00:49:02.500 Facebook. Actually, um, you know what, uh, which is jump for Mike Morris on Facebook asked a very

00:49:08.780 similar question. Uh, this is both for Kip and Ryan. What does it mean to be a man? I've heard this

00:49:12.540 question a hundred times, but I don't recall hearing either of you answer it. So there you go, Mike done.

00:49:17.020 And what's the, what's the probability of you and Dennis both, both asking the same question and

00:49:22.660 having the same last name? Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Great point. Yeah, that is funny in different

00:49:28.640 places that are not even the same place. Yeah. Interesting. What else? Let's take a couple more

00:49:33.840 and then we got to call this a day. Okay. Sounds good. So we're jumping into Facebook. Justin Thiel,

00:49:39.320 what is your official stance on men playing video games for entertainment versus watching TV?

00:49:43.980 I already know your answer versus don't do either. Exactly. Look, I'm not going to judge a guy. If

00:49:52.340 he's going to play a video game, whatever, fine. I just happen to believe there's better use of your

00:49:56.860 time. And I know a lot of guys are going to hear that and they're like, well, it's, it's, you know,

00:50:00.240 it's good. Cause I'm understanding it's my escape and whatever. Fine. That's, that's great. Like you

00:50:05.200 don't need to rationalize it to me, but if you're asking me, I don't think you should do either.

00:50:09.520 I think you should read a book. I think you should go outside. I think you should have a hobby. I think

00:50:12.560 you should have a conversation with your wife. I think you should have sex with your wife. I think

00:50:15.900 you should do a thousand other things than play video games or watch TV. But again, you don't,

00:50:21.400 you don't need to rationalize it to me. And I know that's what guys are going to do is they're

00:50:26.060 going to listen to this. They're just going to be like, well, you know, it's just a way for me to

00:50:28.720 unwind from a home. And they're going to come up with all these reasons. That's, that's great.

00:50:32.700 If that reason is, is justification for you, then, then by all means, but if you're asking me,

00:50:36.880 no, you shouldn't do either. Yeah. I think a good measuring stick for this Ryan is

00:50:42.200 what's the stance that you want your kids to take? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want your son

00:50:48.340 playing video games or watching TV as a, as a release and how long is, is acceptable for him

00:50:53.520 to do it? Um, and, and for most parents, I think a lot of us would say, actually, I'd rather have my

00:50:58.580 kid be reading a book. Well, you know, maybe that's what we should be doing then. Yeah. Yeah. But

00:51:02.860 that's, that means you actually have to do something, you know, challenging or whatever.

00:51:07.300 Yeah. Yeah. I don't think either, you know, I get, I get this question a lot with professional

00:51:11.240 sports too. Like these guys who get consumed with professional sports, like, Oh, we won.

00:51:15.620 Our team won. I'm like, you didn't do anything. You just paid $50 or whatever for a ticket. So don't,

00:51:22.020 it's crazy to me. One thing, one guy say, our team did it. I'm like, you're not part of the team.

00:51:26.920 Like, I appreciate what you're saying, but you're not. So especially when they're losing,

00:51:31.840 that's, that's your, that's your mantra. It's like when they're losing, they're not,

00:51:35.420 but when they're winning and they're yours, right? Uh, go jazz. Yeah. Uh, but I would say like,

00:51:41.760 I go to professional sports and I don't think there's anything wrong with that because you're

00:51:45.740 creating an experience for you and the people you care about. In fact, I actually heard Jordan

00:51:48.920 Peterson's take on professional sports not too long ago. And he said, it's, it's really just,

00:51:53.860 just a metaphor for life. You know, we appreciate somebody who's working in a, in a set of

00:51:58.440 parameters and, and working on mastery and, and accomplishing something they didn't previously

00:52:03.060 think they could have done. And so there's inspiration in that. And I never really had

00:52:07.200 considered that, but that actually makes a lot of sense to me. Uh, but I, I think we ought to be

00:52:11.740 very, very careful of consuming ourselves with somebody else's life, but that's not to say that

00:52:16.620 we can't go enjoy a game because it enhances ours or inspires us, or it gives us an opportunity to

00:52:22.640 create an experience for our family or our friends. I think that's a great element of it.

00:52:26.340 We just have to be careful of escaping reality, uh, to live somebody else's life. It's the same

00:52:31.220 thing with movies. I feel the same way. I actually really like going to the movies,

00:52:34.540 but we have to be very, very careful of remembering it's the movies. Like this isn't real life.

00:52:41.200 And these people, although they may be great actors, doesn't necessarily mean the greatness

00:52:46.760 translates into other avenues of life and actually doesn't even really make them great role models

00:52:51.500 because they're very, very good at, for lack of a better term, making you believe that there's

00:52:57.900 something or somebody they're not. So we got to be very, very careful of escaping into something

00:53:03.260 that's not reality. Yeah. Video games, TV. Yep. Um, how many more questions do we want to do too?

00:53:11.920 Let's just take last one. Let's take one more.

00:53:13.960 Do you mind if I jump down to this Goggins question? Cause I, when is that interview?

00:53:18.140 In January. It's in January. So we have some time. All right. Precursor. Someone asked about

00:53:24.280 David Goggins. We'll talk about it later. All right. Levi's stole. You can bring it up now. I

00:53:29.300 mean, well, it just, there's one guy asked, how excited are you about that interview? And, and,

00:53:34.120 and I wasn't sure if that was coming out next week. And if it was, I wanted to purposely ask.

00:53:37.720 Oh yeah. No, it's not, it's not until January. And I'll just say right now, like I'm not overly

00:53:42.840 excited and I'll tell you why, because I don't want to get hopes up and I don't want to psych myself

00:53:49.620 out. So I'm deliberately and intentionally, I keep myself from getting overly excited.

00:53:55.820 Okay. I try to remain, and I'm not just talking about the David Goggins interview. I'm talking

00:53:59.740 about life in general. I try to remain very, very stoic because I just don't think there's value in,

00:54:07.300 in being overly excited about something because what happens if it falls through or what happens

00:54:12.660 if he cancels it or what happens if I psych myself up because I'm so excited. I ended up creating an

00:54:17.360 inferior conversation because I, I get starstruck or whatever. So I try not to psych myself out and

00:54:24.780 get overly excited about things, not just an interview, but life in general.

00:54:30.040 Well, and what's funny about that, you've heard the phrase, this too shall pass.

00:54:34.180 Right. Right. And, and people often think it as, Oh, when things are bad, Oh, I am going through a

00:54:40.620 hard time in life. This too shall pass. Actually that's applicable to both scenarios. When life is

00:54:45.820 going really well or going really bad, that phrase is actually to put you in check to realize, Hey,

00:54:51.420 guess what? This excitement or this temporary enjoyment, this too also shall pass. And, and there

00:54:57.180 are hardships, uh, uh, you know, coming as well. So yeah, it's funny. Yeah. All right. Is that our last

00:55:03.080 question? No, you can take one more. That's fine. Yeah. All right. Levi stole over the years as a man, uh,

00:55:09.160 recreates himself into a better man than the last. How does one decide what lessons and skills learn

00:55:15.700 to keep or discard as time goes by to remain consistent on his journey to being his ultimate

00:55:22.240 self? I don't know if you really have to be intentional about discarding any sort of skills,

00:55:27.740 right? Like, cause, cause they never go away once now they can be diminished, but there's still

00:55:33.380 always some sort of capacity, almost like riding a bike, right? You're not going to discard writing

00:55:37.540 a bike because you're older now and you very rarely ride a bike. You're just going to use the skill as

00:55:43.020 needed. I think the same goes for just about anything. Now, as far as what lessons and skills

00:55:48.960 do you keep? I think there are certain skills, for example, with, with my line of work that I should

00:55:54.280 continue to develop. For example, my ability to communicate. I also need to understand changes

00:55:59.960 and trends in technology so I can stay on, stay on top of that. Uh, I need to be able to network and

00:56:05.480 reach out to influential people and connect with them. I need to learn how to, how to serve those

00:56:09.740 people. I need to learn how to ask great questions of you guys so I can continue to serve you. Well,

00:56:14.700 there's a lot of things that I need to continue to develop because it's in line with what it is I'm

00:56:19.340 trying to accomplish here with order of men. So I think Levi, for you, whatever it is you're trying to

00:56:23.440 create in your life, you probably inherently know where you need to improve, what skill sets you need

00:56:29.740 to improve, how you need to get better, where you're good, where you're weak, where you could

00:56:33.340 shore up some areas. Uh, another one that I can think of is my copywriting. I need to learn to be

00:56:38.980 a better, a better writer, a better author, a better composer of emails and Facebook posts and social

00:56:44.520 media posts. All of that stuff is really, really critical for the advancement of the mission here with

00:56:48.940 order of man. So I've identified those things and I have a plan in place to continue to develop in

00:56:54.740 those areas. Uh, and I think every man should, based on what it is he's trying to accomplish.

00:56:59.640 So just measure it against what you're trying to do and ask yourself, is this moving me in the right

00:57:03.020 direction? Does this skillset, uh, enhance what it is I'm doing, detract from what I'm doing? Uh,

00:57:09.300 can I double down on this? And if I did, what would be the result of this? And then look at

00:57:13.040 lost opportunity cost as well, right? Because if you focus on one area of your life, time is finite.

00:57:18.680 So naturally something else is potentially going to be on the chopping block. Yeah. So just be very,

00:57:24.320 very aware of spending your time. This is why I think it's important that you focus more heavily

00:57:28.520 on the things that you're good at than the things that you're not, because there's only so much growth

00:57:35.320 I can have in the areas where I'm weak because I'm just not naturally inclined to be great at those

00:57:39.960 things. Like I'm never going to be somebody. And you know what? It doesn't even matter. I'm just,

00:57:44.240 I'm just not going to be somebody who's going to continue to just pour over the details and be so

00:57:50.720 well versed and researched and everything else. I'm just not going to be one of those people.

00:57:55.860 Why would I spend an inordinate amount of time focused on that when I could just focus on taking

00:58:00.140 massive action? Now that said, I recognize the need for being detail oriented. So I'm just going to

00:58:06.000 bring somebody in who is, who can offset that for me, but I'm not going to spend a bunch of time on

00:58:12.600 that skillset. When I know that my true greatness, if you will, lies in being able to take action very,

00:58:20.640 very quickly. That's great. I see this. I can relate to this in, in jujitsu and jits, you know,

00:58:29.280 it's guys have times and seasons and it's, and it's funny because you can't, there's hundreds

00:58:35.980 and thousands of possible scenarios and moves and counters to a defense. And it's just craziness.

00:58:43.320 And, and it's not uncommon for guys to have a season where they just lock into something.

00:58:48.880 Right. Right now for me, for instance, it's, it's a Kimura, just I'm finding it everywhere. Like I'm

00:58:54.800 obsessed with it. I'm so obsessed with it that I'll even expose myself in a negative position to

00:59:01.760 go for it. Like I'm just trying every possible scenario to get that, that, um, that Kimura grip,

00:59:09.840 right. And that, what we call a Kimura trap. And what's interesting about it is I'll guarantee you

00:59:14.820 next year, I won't be doing the Kimura at all. And now I'll be onto something else. And to your point,

00:59:20.860 Ryan, did I lose it? Did I discard it? Well, no, I may not be actively pursuing it. And it's not on

00:59:27.740 my mind as much, but guaranteed when it presents itself, it's going to show up for me. Right. And

00:59:34.080 now it's in my back pocket, right. Even though I probably progressed and moved on to another move.

00:59:38.820 And so I don't think you learn things, but, but it's a good analogy for that time and season,

00:59:43.260 right. Or a guy may see a, a hole in their game and go, okay, man, this is a major hole. So I'm just

00:59:48.220 going to focus on the legs, right. Attacking legs, attacking legs, attacking legs. And, and,

00:59:53.580 and they might not be as active in those other, uh, submission attempts and those other moves,

00:59:58.780 but they're still there. Right. And I, and I think you can come back to them when,

01:00:03.240 when that time and season is appropriate. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. The, the thing I think

01:00:07.800 about in jujitsu, just because you brought it up is, uh, one person that comes to mind is Dean Lister,

01:00:13.380 right. I mean, he's, he's pretty much well-known for foot and ankle locks, right. That's his,

01:00:19.080 that's his thing. Leg attacks. Right. He goes for the legs. That's the thing. And everybody knows it.

01:00:23.900 It's not like he's trying to hide it or be covert about it. Like everybody knows that that's what he

01:00:28.840 does. And yet they still have a difficult time managing it because he's so good at it.

01:00:33.220 Yeah. He recognizes his strengths. He becomes masterful in those areas and it, it improves his game,

01:00:40.760 but he's focused on what he's good at, not necessarily what he's bad at. Now I'm not going

01:00:43.580 to say he's not going to shore up weaknesses. Sure. He's got to, but he knows what he's good at

01:00:48.720 and he, and he lives it. Yeah. And by focusing on those strengths and being superior in that area,

01:00:55.080 it opens up everything because everyone is so paranoid about the legs. Sure. So paranoid that

01:01:01.060 they open themselves in other ways for other attacks. And then those attacks, he doesn't even have

01:01:05.300 to be as good at because they're, they're exposing themselves because they're so paranoid about

01:01:10.640 the leg attacks. Yeah. Great point. Great point. Well, cool, man. Should we call it a day?

01:01:15.560 Yeah, let's do it. Okay. So guys, Oh, go ahead, man. That's it. I interrupted you. You're up.

01:01:20.460 All right. So we mentioned this earlier on the podcast, but primarily just as a reminder,

01:01:25.620 three ways that you get these questions onto the podcast, patreon.com slash order of man is our

01:01:32.320 primary way. Secondary being a member of the iron council, you can learn more about the iron

01:01:37.560 council at order of man.com forward slash iron council, man. I said force. I tried. I really

01:01:43.220 tried not to try. We're giving you, we're giving you a little margin there on that. We'll, we'll

01:01:47.300 get you, we'll get you converted. All right. Or you can join the Facebook group. Um, that's

01:01:52.560 facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Uh, one of the analogy that we thought earlier,

01:01:58.140 or I was thinking about earlier, Ryan, when you're talking about those three different levels

01:02:01.540 of participation, if you want to call it, uh, on the AMA podcast is the analogy of being on the court.

01:02:09.060 You know, we're referencing games earlier. And if, if, if, if life is a game, a basketball game,

01:02:17.960 if you want to call it that order of man, you're a spectator, you might be like on the, on the sideline,

01:02:25.380 kind of watching the game, being a member of the iron council that's on the court, that's actually

01:02:31.720 playing the game, being a participant, being a team member on, on the court. So if you guys are

01:02:37.940 really willing to step up, take that accountability that we talked about earlier, that's how you do it.

01:02:43.740 You join the iron council, you get assigned to a battle team, uh, and you rub shoulders with other

01:02:48.580 men and you find that extreme accountability, right? And you become unreasonable in the way that you're

01:02:54.440 living your life and be unreasonable with the other men in an attempt to become better and hold each

01:02:59.600 other accountable to that standard. You can connect with Ryan on Instagram at Ryan Mickler and Twitter

01:03:05.800 at order of man. The beanies are in, is there any left? Are they sold out? No, the beanies, the beanies

01:03:11.860 are still there. The beanies are still there. All right. I'm going to have to buy some more. Yeah.

01:03:17.260 Get those, get those bought up. Yep. So visit the store guys. We got some swag. It's not too late to

01:03:22.400 get some stuff in for Christmas. I'm assuming that eventually Ryan, there's a deadline where

01:03:26.140 if you order past a certain date, you're not going to be able to get anything for Christmas.

01:03:30.500 Uh, maybe at one point we should mention that. Yeah. I don't, it's probably like a week and a

01:03:35.520 half to two weeks out, I would say. So we're getting close. Cool. Is that it? Yes, sir. Right on. Hey,

01:03:42.740 other thing guys, I would just tell you is I'm most active over on Instagram right now. It's at

01:03:47.680 Ryan Mickler. And my last name is M I C H L E R. So it's at Ryan Mickler. I want you to join over

01:03:52.920 there because, uh, we are going to be announcing fairly quickly our initiative with origin, uh, for,

01:04:01.420 for our, uh, waging war on weakness. So pay attention to that. Uh, it's not a program that

01:04:06.200 you have to pay for or anything like that. You will have to sign up. Um, but that's just so we can

01:04:10.060 track points and everything else that we're going to be doing. So make sure you stay very active on

01:04:13.900 Instagram, tag me and connect with me over there. Uh, and then also I may actually be doing a bow

01:04:20.120 giveaway. I may be giving away my old bow. So if I do, and when I have the details for that,

01:04:27.400 uh, that will all be shared on Instagram. So again, it's at Ryan Mickler, just make sure you

01:04:31.900 connect with me over there. Make a placket touched by Ryan Mickler killed animals, killed a list of

01:04:38.500 these animals and signs. A beautiful, majestic free animal was murdered with us.

01:04:44.600 Dude, don't, don't go there because somebody's actually going to go down that rabbit hole with

01:04:49.160 that. Uh, the other thing is I will rub my beard on it just for good luck as well.

01:04:54.600 Oh, that's weird.

01:04:57.720 All right, guys, that's all I got. Is that all you got, Kip?

01:05:00.360 Uh, that's all. I, you know, I don't know what the competition is with Orgyr, man. So this is new

01:05:05.400 to me too, guys. But as Ryan knows, I'm highly competitive. So, um, did you say origin of man?

01:05:12.520 I like that. I'm going to beat everybody. Yes. That whole, uh, origin and order of man thing.

01:05:18.440 So bring it, bring it. We'll be holding you to the, to the fire on that one. All right,

01:05:22.680 guys, that's all we got for today. Go out there, get after it. We'll see you on Friday,

01:05:26.160 uh, for our Friday field notes, of course, next week for our interview. Kip, I appreciate you,

01:05:30.620 brother guys. I appreciate you being on this journey. We need more men in this fight and, uh,

01:05:34.700 it's just good. It's good to be standing shoulder to shoulder with you and, uh, in reclaiming and

01:05:38.780 restoring what it means to be a man. So I'll let you go. Kip and I will go, go out there,

01:05:42.220 take action, become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

01:05:47.120 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:05:51.880 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - December 05, 2018

Dealing With a Negative Boss, Course Correcting Along the Way, Focusing on Strength and Weaknesses ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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