Order of Man - Defeating the Odds

00:00:00.000 All of us are dealt a hand, some harder than others, but as my guest today can attest,

00:00:05.040 it's not the hand that we're dealt with that matters. It's how we play it.

00:00:09.200 Today's conversation is with Nick Santanastasso, who I know a lot of you are probably already

00:00:13.660 aware of. He's a bodybuilder, an entrepreneur, an adventurer. He's a highly sought after public

00:00:19.340 speaker, and he happened to be born with a debilitating medical condition, which left him

00:00:24.040 legless and missing one arm. Today we talk about overcoming the victim mentality that creeps in,

00:00:30.560 how to develop confidence, how to view difficult circumstances as a gift, and ultimately how to

00:00:37.120 defeat the odds. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears,

00:00:42.220 and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:48.060 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:55.040 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:01:00.760 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Brian Michler,

00:01:05.500 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man. Glad to be

00:01:10.980 back with you. It's been a long weekend. I spent some time in Park City, Utah at the end of last

00:01:17.900 week and into the weekend with Total Archery Challenge, and it was good to see a bunch of the

00:01:21.340 guys that are friends, that have become friends, and of course do some podcasts. So I've got some

00:01:26.160 great shows lined up that I happen to be able to do live, of course, in addition to this conversation

00:01:31.840 that we have today. Now, if you're joining us for the first time, this is a podcast, a movement,

00:01:36.420 if you will, about reclaiming and restoring masculinity in a society that seems to be increasingly

00:01:41.900 moving away from it. There's a general softening and feminization of society, and it's my goal

00:01:47.500 to counter that movement with the conversations and the tools and the resources that all of us

00:01:55.100 need to be more capable, fathers, husbands, business owners, community leaders, whatever

00:01:59.880 facet of life that you're showing up as specifically regarding being a man. That's my job. So we've had

00:02:06.040 some great conversations, conversations with guys like David Goggins and Jocko Willink and Andy

00:02:11.020 Frisilla and Tim Kennedy and Dakota Meyer, and of course, today's guest, Nick Santanastasso.

00:02:17.500 So if you are new, make sure you subscribe, make sure you leave us a rating review, make

00:02:22.180 sure you share this as well. There's other men in your circle who need to hear this message

00:02:26.200 of reclaiming and restoring masculinity. And the only way that we're going to change the

00:02:31.380 tide of this movement to feminization and softening of society is to share conversations

00:02:36.660 and resources like the one this is. So if you would, please make sure you do that. Not a whole

00:02:41.740 lot of announcements today. We've got our main event coming up. I won't tell you too much

00:02:45.040 about that because I want to share with you the underlying thread or theme of the event.

00:02:51.360 But just so you know, this event is going to be held August 10th and 11th with a exclusive

00:02:58.080 iron council dinner on the evening of the night. And we have very, very limited spots left.

00:03:04.320 We're almost sold out on that. So head to order of man.com slash main event. I know it's less

00:03:10.040 than a month. Make sure you get here. You will not be disappointed. All right. Enough

00:03:14.200 with the announcements enough with the lead up. Let's talk with my guest. His name again

00:03:19.440 is Nick Santanastasso. He is probably one of the most inspiring people that I know. And

00:03:26.860 if you're familiar with him, I think you would probably agree with that. He was born with a

00:03:30.980 rare medical condition. In fact, he's only one of 12 people born with this condition. And

00:03:36.720 eight of those people have already passed away. It's called Hanhart syndrome and it kept him

00:03:42.380 from developing his legs and one of his arms. But none of that has stopped him. In fact,

00:03:47.100 if anything, I think it's probably propelled him forward as he's taken what I think would

00:03:51.220 be both literally and figuratively a very crippling thing for most. And he's turned that into something

00:03:57.700 extremely empowering for him and the millions that he inspires. He's tried it all from bowling

00:04:03.680 to wrestling, to bodybuilding. And now he's speaking up as one of the most sought after

00:04:09.520 public speakers in the world. And once you listen to this conversation, I think you'll know why.

00:04:16.100 Nick, what's up, brother? Glad you're joining me on the show today. I've been looking forward

00:04:19.160 to this for a while now. I'm grateful for the opportunity, man. Thanks for having me on.

00:04:23.040 Yeah, I think John, our mutual friend, introduced us. He actually came out to my place in Utah when I

00:04:28.760 was there. It must have been five or six months ago, maybe not that long ago, but had talked a

00:04:33.920 little bit about you and I'd been following you beforehand. So for him to link us up meant a lot

00:04:37.800 to me. So like I said, glad you're here, man. Yeah. Shout out to John. He's amazing too.

00:04:42.640 Well, I mean, we talk about that, being able to connect and add value. I've talked a lot about

00:04:47.700 that with the guys and that's a perfect example. Somebody who can make a mutual connection that will serve

00:04:53.280 you, it'll serve me, it'll serve the other guys. And that's being a man of value in action right

00:04:59.020 there. I like it. Yeah. I'm a man of win-wins too. Yeah, that's right. Win-win situations.

00:05:04.520 Yeah, it is funny because I think a lot of times people look at ways to get ahead at the expense

00:05:09.020 of other people and it doesn't have to be that way. It's abundance. Yeah. I think the majority of

00:05:15.200 people, I think that's one of the things that people kind of get off to a rocky start is everyone's

00:05:20.060 just looking for like, what can I get out of this? What can I get out of this opportunity?

00:05:23.280 What can I get out of this person? But if you kind of switch your mindset and just be like,

00:05:27.080 okay, how can I provide? How can I bring value to this person? And hey, maybe they'll bring value

00:05:32.280 back. It's like giving without expectation, I think is one of the biggest things that I've

00:05:36.360 realized is just like providing value and not asking for anything in return. And not only did

00:05:41.020 you do your part, but it's fulfilling too, is like helping people, right? And I think if more people

00:05:45.060 helped other people, they realized that one, it feels good. It makes you fulfilled. And that's how you

00:05:48.820 provide value is just like giving without expecting anything in return. I think people

00:05:53.020 always expect something in return. Yeah. Well, what's interesting is when you,

00:05:56.540 when you take that approach, it's ironic because you actually probably end up getting more out of

00:06:00.820 the deal than you would had, had you only been looking after yourself? Cause it creates all kinds

00:06:05.560 of opportunities that you wouldn't even known had existed. Yeah. It's just like being, being

00:06:11.680 when it's on your mind too, like when you're in the mindset of giving and not expecting anything in

00:06:17.500 return, like you're more likely to see things though. I feel like you're more likely to see

00:06:20.720 opportunities or see more likely to see people that can help you get to the next level. But

00:06:24.800 that's what like, it's one of the, one of my core values too, is just like longevity. Like

00:06:28.860 I'm not here for quick fixes, like in, in any relationship and personal or business. Like

00:06:32.900 I'm here to continuously provide value and continuously provide win-wins. Like I'm not

00:06:37.240 here for, for quick, you know? Yeah. Do you feel like you've always had that attitude or

00:06:41.840 is that something you've had to learn and develop over time? I definitely didn't have that

00:06:45.620 attitude. You know, I'm, I'm 23, I just turned 23 years old. And so like, I'm still a kid.

00:06:50.320 I feel like I'm still a kid. And so at one point, yeah, I think going, going to middle

00:06:54.520 school and high school, just like, I think at one point we're, we're entitled in some

00:06:58.680 sort of way or thinking that, you know, things are going to be easier. Like you have all the

00:07:02.540 knowledge. And I think one of the biggest things that I've learned is like putting your ego

00:07:06.280 aside and realizing that like, you only know what you know. And especially at, you know,

00:07:10.220 my age, like as someone is coming into business or if you're starting a business or becoming

00:07:14.620 a CEO and you don't know much about it, or you dropped out of college, like it's crazy

00:07:18.620 that we live in a time of day where you just learn everything off online or, or model people

00:07:23.300 that are crushing it into, in your industries. But like that requires you to like check your

00:07:27.620 ego at the door and realize like, dude, I only, I only know what I know. And, and regardless

00:07:31.320 of you, if you're the janitor or the CEO, there's always one piece of wisdom or a nugget that I

00:07:36.040 can pull out of someone. And so that's just like realizing like we're all the same. Some just

00:07:40.240 learn more and work harder than others. You know, we all start off the same, right?

00:07:43.440 We all start the same. We all have to learn similar experiences for sure. I was going to

00:07:47.300 ask if you've ever used your, your medical condition for lack of knowing the right term

00:07:52.340 for, for victim mentality. And I want to get to that, but I feel like we got a little ahead

00:07:58.040 of ourselves because I was so excited to talk with you. Uh, for those of the guys who are

00:08:02.540 listening, who don't know you or what you've gone through over the past 23 years, can you get

00:08:09.140 us up to speed with regards to medically, um, your condition as you were born and, and

00:08:14.100 how that affected you as, as a young man?

00:08:16.540 Yeah, yeah, for sure. So, um, 23. And so in 1996, um, they classified me with hand heart

00:08:23.680 syndrome. And so when my mom was pregnant with me, um, they realized that some of my legs were

00:08:28.460 missing, that my arms weren't developing. And so they classified me with hand heart syndrome

00:08:32.020 and what hand heart syndrome is, is a super rare genetic disorder that either leaves the babies

00:08:37.060 with undeveloped limbs or undeveloped organs. And so actually at the time of my birth in

00:08:41.020 1996, I was the 12th baby at the time in medical history that they've ever seen this happen

00:08:45.100 to. And out of the 12, eight of them have passed away due to undeveloped organs. And

00:08:49.000 so they gave me about a 30% chance to live, told my parents I had about a 30% chance to

00:08:52.760 live. Um, I was born and, um, thankfully, uh, all my organs were a hundred percent healthy.

00:08:58.640 The only thing that was affected were my limbs. So I was born with one arm with one finger,

00:09:02.640 um, a short arm, and then I have no legs. And so that's how I was born. And so basically,

00:09:07.860 um, my parents, I guess at that time in 1996, my parents went against the grain. And what I mean

00:09:13.680 by that is like, they were like, everyone's going to know who my kid is. He's not going to get in,

00:09:17.880 we're not institutionalizing him and no abortions. He's not going to be hidden in a closet. Like,

00:09:22.760 I mean, it sounds so harsh, but at that time, like even like the terms that they used to use,

00:09:28.340 like, you know, like handicap was more like a popular word, handicapped or like retarded is

00:09:34.880 one. I mean, there's a lot of terms like that for sure. Yeah. So it was different world. And

00:09:39.240 so my parents took the opposite side. It was like, everyone's going to know who I am. And

00:09:43.200 so, um, growing up, my parents kind of just threw me into the mix. So I have, um, two sisters and one

00:09:49.660 brother all older on the baby. And so, you know, I got beat up just like, you know, any other sibling

00:09:54.380 and got thrown into the mix. And I think the biggest advantage I had was my parents helped

00:09:58.320 me exercise the muscle of just falling on my face and getting back up. Like they didn't coddle me.

00:10:02.220 They didn't put me in a bubble. Like, Oh, you want to go try again on a chair, go try and get on a

00:10:06.120 chair. Here's a skateboard, Nick, or here's your food. And here's your clothes. Like mom and dad are

00:10:09.960 not going to be around forever. And I think like that started me building me into a man at a way early

00:10:15.640 age that like, I wouldn't realize the power in it then, but now self-reflecting on the way my parents

00:10:20.640 raised me definitely, you know, started cultivating my, my, my manliness, my manliness or my manhood

00:10:26.220 or my mindset, my man mindset. Right. And so I just realized that everything in life was going

00:10:32.500 to be challenging. Like that's how I approached everything. I was just like, Oh, well things are

00:10:37.240 going to take me a little bit longer, you know, to plug in a iPhone charger or get on a chair or feed

00:10:41.260 myself. But like this, it was always this mentality frame that was engraved to me of it's not camp,

00:10:46.240 but how, and like, I always tell people, this isn't just mindset mumbo jumbo. Like humans are

00:10:51.340 already very disempowering creatures. And we're, and if you don't catch your habits, the thoughts,

00:10:55.380 the way, the way you talk to yourself, all these things, like you could be putting a very deep,

00:10:59.440 dark hole. And so, you know, when people, the majority of not only entrepreneurs, but humans,

00:11:04.960 we start off the word can't like always, Oh, I can't do this. Cause I don't have the resources,

00:11:08.480 or I can't do this cause I don't have legs or I can't do this because you know, I'm not pretty

00:11:12.920 enough or strong enough. And it's, um, you're not going to stimulate any solutions starting with

00:11:17.740 can't. And so when you, when you frame everything with how, whether it's a problem or a challenge in

00:11:22.120 your business or your personal life, it's not only more empowering, but it literally helps your mind

00:11:25.960 stimulate more solutions because you know, that's the right vocabulary you need to, to need to use

00:11:30.940 to stimulate solutions. And so, um, you know, growing up, um, getting into school, I didn't realize

00:11:37.460 too much that I had this whole package going on that I was different. And then, um, you know,

00:11:41.260 there was instances where other people let me know I was different. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure

00:11:44.920 they pointed that out quite a bit. Yeah. I mean, um, situations with females that, you know,

00:11:50.100 one that sticks out to me the most, you know, middle school and high school, we can all agree

00:11:53.440 that like boyfriends and girlfriends were a big thing and, you know, you wanted that love. And I

00:11:57.660 never crave, I, you know, I crave that feminine energy. I crave that feminine love, but I never got it

00:12:01.700 the way I wanted to. And, um, you know, there was, you know, talking about the victim mentality,

00:12:06.280 there was a point where I was on, where I was on the bus and, um, this girl, she was just going

00:12:10.680 around making fun of everyone. And I was like, man, you know, she's going to have a field day

00:12:13.660 with me. And, uh, she, she got up to me and I remember I looked over at her and she was like,

00:12:17.820 dude, I don't even have to start with you. You're already too messed up anyway. And you

00:12:22.000 know, it wasn't, it would, that wasn't only coming from a human, but it was coming from

00:12:25.100 a female. And, you know, as humans, we stack things. And so what I mean by that is like,

00:12:30.480 you notice if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you know, if you don't catch your

00:12:34.040 patterns or your thoughts, like your whole day is negative, like it's a shock.

00:12:36.800 Yeah. You, you catch it. And so, you know, the thoughts that were going through my head

00:12:42.620 were like, wow, well, girls think I'm disgusting and my physical body and I'll never have a

00:12:46.880 girlfriend. And is she going to want to hold your finger? Is that weird? Like so, so many

00:12:50.540 things we just dig ourselves in these deep holes. And so that was like a, you know, a taste of

00:12:54.940 victim mentality for me, which I learned how to reframe that. Um, real quick, I'll just touch

00:12:59.600 on that. I learned how to reframe that. And what I've realized is that if a girl or someone

00:13:03.580 doesn't want a further connection with me or love on me for my physical differences,

00:13:06.740 well then my physical differences or the disability or whatever you want to call it

00:13:10.660 is actually an authentic filter. And it's filtering out the type of women or people that I don't want

00:13:15.140 in my life anyway.

00:13:15.940 Ah, interesting. Yeah.

00:13:17.180 Yeah. How empowering is that? Right?

00:13:19.020 Yeah, no, it makes total sense. I mean, I imagine that's a, that's a trained and developed

00:13:23.880 skill. One thing that I've heard you talk about is, and this actually makes a lot of sense is,

00:13:28.880 uh, confidence is, is a skillset, right? It has to be learned and developed. And I imagine,

00:13:33.020 I don't want to say, I don't know, maybe it was harder for you than, than somebody else,

00:13:37.680 but nonetheless, you had to learn and develop that, that level of confidence that I think

00:13:41.700 people look at you now and, and think, well, I mean, you're a confident dude, right? You're

00:13:46.520 a confident guy. And, and, and I think a lot of people probably wonder how, you know,

00:13:52.660 they, they look at their own lives and then they probably in a lot of ways compare their own

00:13:56.220 lives to you and think, well, you know, I, I've got it certainly better off, but I'm not

00:14:00.100 more confident than Nick. He's more confident. How can he be that way?

00:14:03.020 Yeah. It's, and it, it blows my, like, it's taught, we were talking about self-reflection

00:14:06.840 before we hopped on here, right? It's crazy because like, I re, I remember just being like,

00:14:11.240 man, like I got, I got no confidence. Like, you know, I, I, at one point I thought you were

00:14:15.620 either born with it or you like, you didn't have it. Like it was just like, you know,

00:14:18.800 a trait. Um, but yeah, to build confidence, man, it's just, it's, it's self-integrity and,

00:14:25.860 and confidence is having a relationship with yourself. That's so good that you don't care

00:14:29.660 when anyone else thinks of you. And so like how we build confidence is that I was just

00:14:33.680 started setting these little micro goals, like just setting these little stepping stones,

00:14:37.160 like, Hey, like I'm going to go out for the wrestling team, which we'll get into that because

00:14:41.800 I had to sacrifice some things for that. But like, Hey, like for, for people listening,

00:14:45.740 like, Hey, I'm going to schedule, I'm going to schedule kid time with my family, you know,

00:14:50.480 and then I'm going to do it, or I'm going to wake up 30 minutes earlier. I'm going to do yoga.

00:14:54.240 I'm going to read a book because we're not, we do these things. And when, when we do them,

00:14:59.160 we not only like, you know, physically applaud ourselves, but we mentally be like, good job.

00:15:03.240 You know, like you stuck to your word, you stuck to your guns and you build that muscle up. Like,

00:15:08.000 like we said, everything's a muscle. So you can't just do things once and go to the gym for a week

00:15:12.120 and expect to be jacked. I mean, I wish you could, it would be easy. Right. So everything's a muscle.

00:15:15.800 And so, you know, like I, I want people to be clear on this is like, I built, I built me,

00:15:20.920 you know, I've built Nick, like I'm always building myself and I wasn't as confident as I

00:15:25.520 was yesterday. And I wasn't confident as I was a year ago and two years ago, three years ago.

00:15:29.300 But how I continuously build this confidence is I just keep my word within myself. Like I keep my

00:15:34.060 promises because if, if you, if you set a goal, you know, if you set this little micro goal or

00:15:39.060 something and you don't get it done, like you feel like a less of a person or a less of a man,

00:15:43.180 especially if you care about moving your life forward. Right. And so it's just, you know,

00:15:47.900 like, like I said, building that relationship within yourself that like you, when you, when

00:15:52.840 you know, when you say something's going to get done, you know, it's going to get done.

00:15:56.460 You know, your work ethic, you know, you are as a person. And when you know who you are as

00:16:00.040 a person, like the outside noise, like the people that hate on you or, or call you names

00:16:03.820 or say your goals are too big, it doesn't affect you because you know who you are. And

00:16:07.240 I think that's like the biggest, biggest empowerment is like so many people are trying to nurture

00:16:12.720 and build relationships outside themselves when they really need to be working on just the

00:16:16.320 relationship they have within themselves. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And I like

00:16:19.780 that you're talking about, even that these aren't necessarily big and audacious, ambitious goals.

00:16:25.180 I think there's a time and a place for that, but just building upon small wins, if it's so big that

00:16:30.740 it discourages you rather than encourages you, then you probably ought to start. And it even sounds

00:16:35.780 funny saying it from two guys who are trying to motivate and inspire people to, to, to do bigger

00:16:41.440 things is just start somewhere, even if it's small and build upon that. And you can, you can compound

00:16:48.100 those, uh, those victories for the big and audacious goals later on. Yeah. And, and also is

00:16:54.680 like how we were saying bigger, bigger, small goals. Like I think a lot of people too. And I, I myself,

00:17:01.460 the reason why I share this is because I think my vision or my definition of success was kind of,

00:17:07.480 um, like toxic, like kind of like, I was looking at other people and be like, Oh, that's success.

00:17:12.880 Or, you know, that's success or having big goals or doing this is success. But like, it's super

00:17:17.540 important to get clarity on what, what does success look like for you? Like, you know, like our goals

00:17:23.480 may be totally different. Like majority of the time, our goals are going to be totally different.

00:17:26.600 Like your success may, may be like spending enough, this amount of time with the kids or, you know,

00:17:32.740 having a wife or, you know, whatever it may be. Like, I just want people to realize,

00:17:37.020 like, don't let other people's vision or version of success like interfere with yours.

00:17:41.960 And so that would also determine what your goals are. Right. So like my goals may be big or my goals

00:17:48.820 may be small, but like, what is it for you that just makes you feel fulfilled? You know, that,

00:17:52.260 that makes you feel like you evolved as a human being because like our, our stuff's going to be

00:17:56.140 different. And I don't want people to be like, man, comparing stories or comparing journeys,

00:18:00.260 because that's the worst thing you could do. You got to just realize like, you're just here to

00:18:03.820 become a better you. Like who, it doesn't really matter about anyone else. It sounds harsh, but

00:18:07.720 like, as long as you're getting better as a human being and you're getting your goals and the things

00:18:11.540 that make you excited, like that's success, like that's fulfillment. Yeah, I agree. It's,

00:18:15.360 it's interesting because a lot of people do ask just by the nature of what I do. And I'm sure you as

00:18:19.160 well, like what is success to you? And, and the best, the best definition that I've ever been able to

00:18:25.380 come up with is autonomy. It's doing what you want, when you want, why you want to do it,

00:18:30.560 how you want to do it and having ultimate freedom and sovereignty over your life. Um, and, and I say

00:18:35.400 that because it is so different for everybody. You know, if you, if you, for example, you, you want

00:18:40.300 to be on the speaking tour and you want to do these types of things and reach millions and millions

00:18:43.880 of people. And I'm, I'm not, I don't want to assume that's the case, but let's just say it is

00:18:47.900 for the sake of argument, you know, maybe that's mine, but maybe, maybe being the best father that I

00:18:53.120 absolutely can be is mine. And so we have different goals and ambitions and ways that we're going to

00:18:58.000 approach life. None, neither is right or wrong. It's just what's for us. Right.

00:19:02.680 Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And, and that's the reason why I share that is because I, I got caught

00:19:07.520 up in, you know, thinking success was something different. You know, I thought like, you know,

00:19:11.920 entrepreneurship and, and being successful was like all work, you know, no play, like just like

00:19:18.180 grind, grind, grind, grind 26 hours a day. It's like, no, like, and I like the way you put it is just

00:19:23.100 like doing things on your term, kind of becoming the CEO of your life and, you know, whatever that,

00:19:28.500 whatever that vision is for you. And that's why, you know, having a vision is so important because

00:19:32.340 like, you know, I, I wouldn't be able to stay motivated and do all these things. If I didn't

00:19:36.920 have a vision, you know, I didn't have something that pulled me because like, we may be, you know,

00:19:41.100 look all positive for the majority of the times, but we're humans. We have low days. We have days where

00:19:44.700 we don't want to get out of bed. Right. And when we, when we have those days, like your purpose

00:19:49.220 or your vision will pull you, it's just like, you know, we may not like the act of

00:19:53.640 picking up the phones or we may not act the light, you know, we may like, like the action

00:19:57.780 of knocking on doors, whatever your job may be, whatever you're doing, there's some things

00:20:01.180 that you don't like, but you can kind of correlate those things that you don't like with the vision.

00:20:06.760 And so what I mean by that is like, if I call this amount of, if I call this amount of people

00:20:11.100 that, that leads to me to taking, you know, the kids to France for vacation or that, you know,

00:20:17.080 doing this work right now allows me to have more time with my family and my wife, you know,

00:20:21.020 like what is the vision that helps you get through that stuff that you don't want to do? Cause we all

00:20:25.100 have stuff we don't want to do. Right. Yeah. And, and you gotta be able to, to drive through that

00:20:29.800 and past it and delegate it and make sure it gets done. But like you said, you gotta have that vision.

00:20:33.800 I guess where, where did that vision come from you? I'm sure that you, it sounds like your parents

00:20:39.600 were a great, um, great example in your life. Uh, they empowered you a lot to do things on your

00:20:45.740 own, to figure out things on your own, even just watching you earlier before we hit record,

00:20:49.440 as you were putting your earbuds in your phone, like to watch you do that and adapt to be able

00:20:54.720 to, to do that was, was impressive. Right. But I'm, but I'm sure there was a lot of limiting,

00:21:00.980 uh, uh, perspectives that surrounded you as well, like this gal on the school bus and other

00:21:06.620 situations like that. So I can't imagine that you were always this individual who had these,

00:21:11.500 these great ambitions and these great visions. How did you begin to articulate this for yourself?

00:21:17.420 Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, my, my big transformation happened, um, kind of like my,

00:21:23.220 my sophomore year. So like I said, with the, with the girls and not feeling comfortable with my body

00:21:27.900 and not being in shape, like girls were my biggest suicidal trigger. And so like, you know,

00:21:32.380 going into high school, I was at a very low point and I was uncomfortable in my body. I was out of

00:21:36.300 shape. I didn't have much confidence. I didn't talk to girls, you know, I was just,

00:21:39.420 and, and I realized like, I didn't like living like that anymore. You know, like,

00:21:44.120 you know, I had these suicidal thoughts, but I, you know, I, I'd never take my life because of my

00:21:47.420 parents and I didn't want to, you know, I knew energy was contagious and what a, you know,

00:21:51.420 what a wave of negative energy that would have been. And so I was looking for a way out and

00:21:56.340 my way out was wrestling and my older, I'm from Jersey. So wrestling's like a big deal. And

00:22:01.640 my older brother was a wrestler and never got to go to high school with him. And then all my best

00:22:05.300 friends were wrestlers. And, um, you know, I was, I wanted to be a part of a team. I wanted to do

00:22:09.700 something that was going to help instill confidence in me, something. And so, um, at the time, my

00:22:15.540 right arm, my short arm was about five inches longer than it is now. And my bone was going

00:22:20.240 faster than my skin. So it was like your finger, but it was super sensitive. And I, and I couldn't

00:22:24.720 really touch it on things because if I would have slammed it hard enough, my bone would have came

00:22:27.680 through my skin. And so, you know, I, I made this distinction and I was like, man, if I could become an

00:22:32.860 athlete, right. Labeled as an athlete, even just internally, personally, I could call myself an

00:22:36.940 athlete. I can call myself a wrestler. I'll be around my friends. You know, this would instill

00:22:41.060 confidence in me. And so, you know, I came home one day, I waited for both my parents to get home.

00:22:45.240 And I said, you listen, mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler. And my mom and my parents were like,

00:22:49.040 dude, like, no way. Like, what about your arm? Like, what are you going to do with your arm? Like,

00:22:52.200 you can't. And I looked at them and I was like, can we, can we cut it off? You know, can we,

00:22:57.580 can we do something about it? And they were like, are you kidding me? Yeah.

00:23:02.400 Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, no, like, can we, can we cut it off? And they were like, you know,

00:23:06.420 Nick, the right words amputate. You're so aggressive with your words. And I was like,

00:23:09.180 all right, you know, like I'll use, I'll use your vocabulary. And, um, you know, my sophomore year,

00:23:14.820 my parents went ahead and scheduled the appointment for me to amputate some of my arm. And so what they

00:23:19.120 did was they lasered five inches on my arm, arm off, and they did a skin graph where they pull extra

00:23:24.440 skin from up on my shoulder and pull it over my arm so I could, you know, beat it up. And, um,

00:23:29.300 but like to, to self reflect on this, it's just like, what are you willing to give up to? What

00:23:35.260 are you willing to sacrifice to get out, get yourself out of that dark hole? You know,

00:23:38.620 what are you willing to sacrifice to be successful or for your dreams? Like this was just for a taste

00:23:42.700 to wrestle. I didn't even know if I was going to be a varsity wrestler. Right. But this was just like

00:23:46.600 something that I thought I needed to do to get out of that hole. And, and maybe it's not a limb in

00:23:50.640 your life. Maybe it's a limiting beliefs you need to cut off. Right. Hopefully it's not a limb in your

00:23:54.900 life. Yeah. Um, yeah. I mean, ideally, right. But yeah, like what are, what is the story that

00:24:00.740 you continuously tell yourself that, you know, is not empowering. Right. Like what is, what are the

00:24:04.940 limiting beliefs? Because we all, I have limiting beliefs. We still have limiting beliefs. And,

00:24:09.080 you know, this was kind of like the pivotal moment for me to just start doing, start moving my body,

00:24:14.720 right. Getting my body moving. I think also, you know, I'm, I'm a bodybuilder. I'm, I'm a big believer

00:24:19.220 in health and fitness. And I think just like if people are on a low time or, you know, they're struggling

00:24:23.720 with confidence, just work on your body too. Like just get in the gym. I mean, even if you're

00:24:27.760 trying to lose a hundred pounds or 50 pounds, whatever it may be, like when you get off that

00:24:32.080 treadmill, when you did 10 minutes or 20 minutes, whatever you, you know, work up to, like you feel

00:24:36.260 better after that workout. Yeah, definitely. Like it's not only the physical, it's not only the

00:24:40.120 physical part, but it's the, it's the therapeutic mental part, you know? And so I think that was just

00:24:45.580 a big thing of just getting my body moving. And that led me to being, you know, the varsity

00:24:50.020 wrestler, um, my senior year. Um, but that was kind of like, to get back to what you were saying,

00:24:54.980 that was like my pivotal moment of just like, I had to work on myself.

00:24:59.940 Yeah. I mean, it's, it's huge. I think a lot of people, what they're doing is looking outward

00:25:03.500 and seeing what they can change about their environment or, uh, about the people around

00:25:08.040 them. And, and while I get it, and I've certainly tried to do that as well, I think a lot of that

00:25:12.000 begins to take care of itself when you learn to take care of yourself. And I really liked that you hit on

00:25:17.600 sacrifice because so many people, I hear it from people every day, guys who are saying,

00:25:22.100 you know, I want to build a business or I want to have this relationship or I want to win my wife

00:25:25.560 back or I want to, I want to achieve this, this objective or this goal. And yet when you ask what

00:25:30.940 they're willing to do or what they're already doing, they're not willing to do anything. I think

00:25:34.860 most people seem like they, they want the result without the effort. And we certainly live in a time

00:25:40.180 where some of that is possible, but I think most people are missing this critical part of the

00:25:44.840 equation, which is sacrifice. Yeah. I like, I just think, especially like if you want to take

00:25:51.860 your life to your terms and do things on your terms, like you're going to need to sacrifice

00:25:55.060 things. And, and, and it's a lot of things that you like to do, right? Maybe it's free time or,

00:25:59.260 you know, um, just spending more time in the office or whatever it may be, but like everything's a

00:26:05.640 muscle. We go back to building muscles, like sacrifice, just like, you know, you're going to get used

00:26:10.300 to sacrificing. You're going to get used to, you know, being in the trenches and doing the dirty

00:26:14.280 work. And then it kind of just becomes natural. But like, I think the part that people don't break

00:26:19.600 through is they just don't do it enough in the first place for it to, you know, become part of

00:26:23.180 them. And so like, I, like, like I said, I think I had an advantage growing up is just because one,

00:26:28.700 I knew everything was going to be hard and, you know, I continuously sacrifice things, um, to get

00:26:33.860 where I needed to go. But I, that's what, that's, it's, it's a weird spin because that's what I feel

00:26:39.000 like my advantage was, was just like, I'm just used to things being hard, brother.

00:26:43.580 Well, I, I, I imagine that's the case and it's actually pretty inspiring to hear what your parents

00:26:48.860 were willing to not only put you through, but put themselves through. Cause I can't imagine it

00:26:53.660 would have been real comfortable for them to say, you know, here's, here's the utensils,

00:26:58.240 figure it out. There's a chair, figure it out. That was difficult for you, but I'm sure you're well

00:27:04.040 aware of how difficult it must've been for them to do that as well. And I think about that as a

00:27:08.120 parent myself, I mean, I don't want to see my kids struggle in any way. And yet when we let them

00:27:13.280 get away with things or, or, or solve all their problems, it may not be struggle now,

00:27:20.840 but I think it'll only compound and get worse if we do that.

00:27:24.440 Yeah, exactly. I mean, the, the question, you know, in my seminars that I have,

00:27:28.580 have the audience self reflect on is like, are you doing too much for your kids? You know,

00:27:32.600 are you doing too much for your teammates? You know, your business, are you doing too, like,

00:27:35.880 because the importance, like parents are kind of like an accountability group and it's okay if you,

00:27:41.080 if you know, if you didn't have parents, um, whatever, whatever situation you're coming from,

00:27:45.100 but I feel like it's just like accountability groups in general, whether it's parents, friends,

00:27:50.020 whatever it may be, it's like the, the importance is having people that love on you,

00:27:54.320 but having people that push you when you know you need to be pushed. And, and so, you know,

00:27:59.420 I've had so many parents come up to me afterwards or, you know, send me messages and be like,

00:28:03.000 I immediately started parenting my kids differently and I want to thank you for it.

00:28:06.920 And I, and I let them tie their shoes on their own. And I, I let them, uh, you know,

00:28:10.720 solve their problems on their own. I mean, that way, like if you start having your kids

00:28:15.840 stimulate solutions now and be like, you know, like just, just even little problems,

00:28:20.500 just let them figure it out on their own. Like that's a muscle. And those kids will be like,

00:28:24.680 they, they won't really look for help because they'll just be so used to,

00:28:27.900 you know, solving their own problems. And, and like we were saying,

00:28:31.320 like the compound effect, if you always just let your, let your kids get away with things or let

00:28:35.540 your teammates get away with things and don't let them, you know, stimulate their own mind and,

00:28:39.340 and, and solve solutions, like they'll never be problem solvers. And that's, and that's all life

00:28:43.320 is brother. I feel like all life is, is just like, Oh, here's a problem. How are we going to solve it?

00:28:47.880 And how are we going to break through it? You know, I think that's right. I don't think,

00:28:51.220 I don't think anybody is, is devoid or free from, from solving, from, from problems. I should say,

00:28:56.420 I think the people who are successful are not the ones who don't have problems,

00:28:59.720 but the ones who figure out how to overcome them. I mean, that's, that's the ultimate goal

00:29:03.180 is making yourself more capable. It's that, uh, Oh, I think it's like a Bruce Lee quote where he

00:29:07.500 says, don't, don't pray for easier times, pray for the strength, strength to overcome the hard

00:29:11.260 times or something along those lines. Um, well, Nick, one of the, one of the things I was looking

00:29:16.200 forward to talking with you about is, is just yesterday. And I, and I think I told you this

00:29:20.420 before we started, uh, officially recording here is I had a, I had a gentleman reach out. He's got

00:29:25.420 cerebral palsy and he feels like he's less of a man because he's got some, some disabilities and

00:29:33.420 a medical condition that he's working through. And I, and I told him I was going to be talking

00:29:36.600 with you and, uh, he was excited about that. I'm really curious on your take as far as being a man

00:29:43.220 and, and your abilities. And I don't want to say disabilities. I don't know if that's the right

00:29:47.540 term or, or if that is the right term, you let me know, but I'm really curious about your take

00:29:51.920 as, as far as it comes to being a man. Yeah, man. Um, that's a great question. And, and I'm glad

00:30:00.440 that you asked me that because like, I want to start this off again is like, I, I built this

00:30:05.120 person, you know, people see this confident person on stage and, and off stage. It's just

00:30:09.240 like, I wasn't always like this. Um, but I think I, I started becoming a man or started becoming,

00:30:14.960 you know, confident when I was just, you know, that I realized that what I have is my biggest

00:30:20.420 gift, you know, like my, the majority I'm only 23. Right. So I can, I can clearly say

00:30:25.020 that the majority of my life, I thought that having no legs and one arm was like the most

00:30:28.580 disgusting, negative thing that I could be cursed with. Right. But then it turned out

00:30:32.820 to be my biggest empowerments and my biggest influences. And I think, um, everything comes

00:30:38.120 down to perspective as well. And so if he can view that, like him being born in this situation

00:30:43.100 and having to go through the things that he went through, like he's built some armor that

00:30:48.040 other people don't have, like he's built some muscles that other people don't have

00:30:50.940 because they will never experience what it's like to live in that body or to go through

00:30:55.480 the things that they go through. And so like, in a way, it's just like, we have, we have

00:31:00.740 a, a, a, such a rare perspective on life that like, just think like nobody else can have.

00:31:07.300 I mean, it's kind of powering in effect, right? Like you, you, like it blows my mind. It's

00:31:12.800 crazy. Like some, some days, like I look down at my body, I'm like, Oh shit. Like I

00:31:16.920 really, I really do have no legs and one arm, you know, like, and I, and I, and I'm

00:31:20.980 really living like this. And, you know, I, I just think that it's focusing on our

00:31:25.800 strengths and focusing the things that we love about ourselves and the things we can

00:31:28.920 do, because like, it'd be, it'd be so easy regardless if you have cerebral palsy

00:31:33.200 or no legs, one arm, or if you're just, you know, no disabilities, whatever you call

00:31:36.980 them. Like, it's so easy to just nitpick ourselves and focus on all the things that

00:31:40.940 we don't have and all the things that we want and all the things that we can't

00:31:44.120 do. I mean, everyone can do it. Right. And so I think part of being a man is, is

00:31:48.880 realizing that like focusing on your strengths, focusing on your abilities,

00:31:53.400 focusing on the things you can control. Um, and, and, and just that's so

00:31:58.360 empowering because like I said, we're just, humans are very disempowering

00:32:02.480 creatures. And like, I would be a very negative person if each and every day I

00:32:05.920 woke up and was like, man, like I have no legs, one arm and this sucks and I can't

00:32:09.080 do this. And I started rattling about how I can't play soccer, which doesn't

00:32:12.800 affect me in any way. You know, like I just think that it's, it's, it's like,

00:32:18.520 it's loving, it's loving yourself and, and realizing like, yo, this is the body

00:32:22.240 that I was born with and I got to ride with it. Like there's no other way. And

00:32:25.820 so I better get used to it and I better start loving on myself because this is

00:32:28.620 all I got.

00:32:29.760 Well, that's an interesting thought because now what you're talking about is, is

00:32:33.480 facing objective reality, right? I think a lot of us, whether we're dealing with

00:32:37.740 something like you are or something maybe that's significantly less relevant,

00:32:44.020 we, we begin to operate in this, this world of, of delusion, right? Like if only

00:32:50.920 I could have this, if only life was this way, then it would be better. And we start

00:32:55.200 fantasizing about all the things that would change. If only we had something like

00:32:59.740 I hear guys, for example, they'll say, well, if I had a gym, then I would be Jack too.

00:33:04.320 Or if I had your job, then I'd be able to have a good relationship with my, my kids.

00:33:09.040 It's like, no, you'd have the same relationship with your kids that you have

00:33:12.860 right now. You've got to change first. But I imagine that comes from a place of,

00:33:19.060 and I'm not even imagine, I know it just comes from a place of, of reality. And I

00:33:23.320 think that's what you've done so well is that you've accepted reality for what it

00:33:27.860 is. It's not ideal, but it is what it is. And let's grow from here. This is

00:33:34.300 the foundation of truth that we need to operate in.

00:33:37.940 Yeah. I think you hit it, hit it right on. It's just like, this is reality. You know,

00:33:43.720 like it's, it's bizarre. Like it's super bizarre. Like I think about like the, the

00:33:47.720 percentage that I was born like this and the percentage that I, that I lived, I

00:33:51.120 mean that in those deepest, darkest times, I mean, regardless of what disability

00:33:55.620 you have, like the fact that you get to experience being a human being, you get to

00:34:01.240 experience consciousness and you know, you're here and you can, you know, you can

00:34:04.400 feel things and you can feel that the air hit your face and the sun, you know, hit

00:34:09.000 your body. I mean, like the fact that you're a human being is wild. Yeah. And

00:34:14.360 like, and, and the other thing that you can think about, and this is more towards

00:34:18.900 the, that guy that was asking for advice is just like the other thing you can think

00:34:22.520 about is like the, like the majority of human beings don't realize that the

00:34:27.000 biggest disability is a bad mindset, you know? So they can, they can look at me

00:34:30.660 and they can look at that guy or they can look at people with disabilities and go,

00:34:34.560 wow, I feel so sorry for them. But in their head, like they have all these limiting

00:34:38.040 beliefs that handicap and cripple them more than what we are. And so like, that's the

00:34:43.440 biggest key was realizing that like, it wasn't the physical body that holds me

00:34:46.500 back, but it was my mindset and the thoughts and, and the way that I, I look at

00:34:50.720 situations was the true key to, you know, just being, living my full potential and

00:34:57.400 not letting anything hold me back. And so, um, that's another thing that they can

00:35:01.480 think about is just like, you know, so many people are just handicapped and, and,

00:35:05.580 and crippled and limited by their thoughts. And, you know, it's just like, you have

00:35:12.400 the right mindset and you have the right perspective or you have the right way to

00:35:15.320 look at life and, you know, you go through life and you just gain perspective and

00:35:18.640 you're in that student of the game mentality. It's just like, like, I think

00:35:22.360 it comes back to just becoming the best version of yourself. And so many people

00:35:26.660 are, like you said, I'll, I'll feel good when I have this amount of money. I'll

00:35:30.580 feel good when I have this house. I'll feel good when I have this girlfriend or

00:35:33.940 I'm married, but really what we're, we're not chasing the materialistic things.

00:35:37.560 They think we are, but we're actually chasing the emotion. And that's just the

00:35:41.880 emotion of feeling like we're good enough, or that's the emotion of feeling like

00:35:44.780 we're loved and we're fulfilled. And how you become fulfilled is just

00:35:48.600 do things that you love, like do things that, that make you feel good,

00:35:51.780 whether that's giving, whether that's giving a compliment. I mean, you know,

00:35:54.780 so many people think that like contribution, they immediately correlated with

00:35:58.280 pulling money out of their pocket, but there are so many other ways that you can

00:36:00.880 contribute that make you feel good. And so like, you can also self-reflect on

00:36:04.860 these questions. It's like, what are the things in your life that like when you do

00:36:08.260 them, like time goes by and you don't even realize it? Like, what are those

00:36:11.540 things? Like, what are those activities or things that you just forget about the

00:36:15.080 world? Like do more of that stuff, do more of the things that make you feel

00:36:18.180 good, do more of the things that, that bring out that inner kid in you.

00:36:22.900 I like that. I think we ought to focus on, well, and I also like that you're

00:36:26.740 talking about this idea of, of contribution, because one of the things we talk a

00:36:30.700 lot about is men being producers. And so when, when I talk about that, I think it's

00:36:35.720 easy to jump to the conclusion that we're, we're producing financially and that

00:36:40.100 might be an element of it or, or that we're physically capable of defending

00:36:44.240 ourselves and other people. And that might be an element of it, but, but

00:36:48.100 regardless of where you are, you are capable of production. It may not be the

00:36:53.240 same as the next guy or, or, or it might be different than the way the next guy

00:36:57.400 produces, but ultimately you are capable of producing. That's what you're doing

00:37:01.320 right now. You're on this podcast, adding value, using your life's experiences to

00:37:05.520 share with other people. That's production. And it doesn't matter what area of

00:37:09.680 life you are or what situation you found yourself in. Men always have a way to

00:37:14.380 produce if they look for it or they have, have an opportunity to self-destruct if

00:37:19.480 that's what they'd rather focus on too.

00:37:21.840 Yeah, exactly. And, and production and just progress, like just progress within

00:37:27.160 yourself. Like, you know, maybe, maybe you're in a situation and just like walking

00:37:32.960 a couple steps is a big progress for you. Like, hell yeah. Like that's progress.

00:37:36.700 Like that's winning. Like that, like, as long, like, as long as we're moving

00:37:40.500 forward, like we're winning. And so that's what, like the same thing with the

00:37:44.200 definition of success, like whatever progress is in for you life, like whatever

00:37:47.480 you're working on, just do more of that because like humans love the feeling of

00:37:51.800 progress. Like I've realized like my lowest and darkest days are the days where

00:37:55.580 I'm not doing much and I'm stagnant and I'm not, I'm not moving the needle

00:37:58.440 forward, whether it's in my personal life or my business life. And so just like do

00:38:02.360 things that, you know, is going to make you into a better human being. And it

00:38:06.040 doesn't matter if it's a big thing. It doesn't matter if it's a small thing,

00:38:08.720 just start there. And like how you were saying about the manliness, one thing

00:38:13.480 just came to my mind is like, um, to be transparent with people was just like,

00:38:17.780 you know, the other, like say the other week, you know, I was, I was with a girl

00:38:21.480 and maybe she had to, maybe she had to pick up something that I couldn't pick up

00:38:27.220 and carry for her. Like, I kind of feel like less of a man. Like there's, there's,

00:38:30.680 there's moments where I feel like less of a man because I can't, like how you were

00:38:33.680 talking about being physically big enough to protect someone, right? As a man,

00:38:38.200 like that's part of our thing. It's just like things that I have to accept that

00:38:41.960 like I have to delegate or I have to just ask for help. Um, and that, that's

00:38:46.780 another thing that was kind of like a breakthrough in my life because I always,

00:38:50.300 always want to be independent, right? And I always want to help people and do

00:38:52.640 things on my own. But then there's a point where you have to surrender and

00:38:55.540 realize there, there's, there's a difference between being independent and being

00:38:59.520 efficient, uh, and just asking for help, you know? And, and people don't mind that

00:39:04.180 you ask for help. It's just like, that's ego. That's ego realize like, Oh no, like

00:39:08.600 forget that. Like I'm a man, like I need, I need to ask for help or, you know, I wish

00:39:12.220 I could carry that box for her and, and help her out. But then it's just like, what's

00:39:16.920 more efficient? You know, that's what I've learned. Like being in business is like,

00:39:20.380 what's the most efficient way? Like, bro, if you need to ask for help, just ask for

00:39:23.100 help. Like, cause I'll sit there and I'll tinker around with like opening like a, a, you know,

00:39:28.460 a chip bag or something or a sandwich or whatever it may be when I could just like

00:39:32.400 looked at my boys and be like, dude, just open this.

00:39:35.600 What's the line though? What, like, how do you, how do you walk that line between? Cause

00:39:39.740 it would be easy for you to do that in, in a whole lot of situations. Right. And

00:39:43.640 everybody would probably be more than willing to help out. And so it'd be easy in a way to

00:39:47.800 take advantage of that too.

00:39:50.020 Yeah. My thing is always try. Like always, always try. Like I'll give it a shot. Like I'll,

00:39:55.440 and I'll, and I'll give it a good shot too. I mean, like for example,

00:39:58.440 like the, when I was, when I was with this lady and we were, we were in this resort,

00:40:03.460 like the first time I was like, yo, like just stack all your suitcases up on my wheelchair

00:40:07.340 and like, I'll carry them. She's like, no, no, no. Like, you know, I'll do them. And I

00:40:09.660 knew I could do it. Right. And so like, you know, we, we rolled the suitcases into the room

00:40:14.820 anyway. And then when we were checking out, like after we built that, you know, connection

00:40:18.540 and stuff, like all the suitcases were piled on me and I was able to do it. Like I always

00:40:22.580 want to give things a shot, you know? Yeah. And that way that I know, like, at least I gave it a

00:40:27.040 shot and if it didn't work, it didn't work, but I know I did my part in trying and then

00:40:30.960 you can't really lose if you tried. Guys, let me hit the pause button real quick. I know

00:40:35.780 that you're likely enjoying the conversation. I want to share with you something very, very

00:40:39.480 quickly. One of the most frequently asked questions that I receive is something along

00:40:44.420 the lines of how do I get my life back on track? And I wish there was an easy answer

00:40:48.600 to that. There, there really isn't, but there is a simple one. There's a very simple answer

00:40:52.540 and it's called the battle plan. And it's a system that I've been developing over 10 years

00:40:57.280 to take control of my health and my relationships, my bank account, this movement specifically

00:41:01.920 and life in general. And if you've been listening to the podcast over the past month, you've heard

00:41:07.100 me talk about the order of man main event held in, in Maine on my property. It's August 10th

00:41:13.020 and 11th. And among the like-minded people that you'll meet the challenges that we're going

00:41:17.480 to be participating in and the activities that we have planned, what you're going to be doing

00:41:21.520 here is working on your own 12 week battle plan to accomplish more in the next 90 days

00:41:28.420 than potentially you have all year. So if you know that you're meant for more and there feels

00:41:34.700 like maybe something's missing in your life, but you haven't found the right system or tool

00:41:40.500 to really maximize your potential as a man, then I would highly, highly recommend and suggest

00:41:45.900 that you join us August 10th and 11th, 2019 in Maine for an event designed to give you the network

00:41:54.860 like-minded men and the framework, the battle plan to take complete, complete sovereignty over your

00:42:02.200 life. If you're interested, head to order of man.com slash main event. And that's main as in the state,

00:42:07.300 Maine. So order of man.com slash main event, lock in your spot, do it quickly. We're going to sell this

00:42:12.400 thing out very quickly. And I want to have you there and I want to give you the framework and

00:42:16.720 the network that you need to succeed. All right, guys, order of man.com slash main event, get

00:42:22.180 registered for now. We'll get back to my conversation with Nick. That distinction makes sense. Cause I

00:42:29.100 imagine too, that maybe in a way you did, or maybe you've matured out of this or grown out of this,

00:42:35.920 maybe having a little bit of a chip on your shoulder, like I've got something to prove, right? So I'm

00:42:40.820 going to do everything just to show you all that I can do it. Is that accurate?

00:42:46.420 Yeah, I think I definitely had a chip on my shoulder. Um, because like even, you know,

00:42:51.200 my parents telling me from the moment I was born, you know, there was a bunch of limiting beliefs and

00:42:55.040 they, they gave my parents a list and were like, here, here's all the things your son won't be able

00:42:58.880 to do. So I do feel like I always strive to be independent. Um, and as probably, especially as a

00:43:04.540 kid, it was more ego in play, um, when not wanting to ask for help. But now it's just like,

00:43:09.680 I I've surrendered and just like, if things are more efficient, if it helps me get the A to B a

00:43:14.480 lot faster, I'll just ask for help. Right. Cause what's the ultimate goal? Like the, the outcome

00:43:19.220 or you being right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like you, you want, you want to, you know, take five minutes

00:43:25.220 to open your sandwich or do you just want to give it to your buddy to open it? Right. Right. You can

00:43:29.280 eat right now. Like, and nobody's going to think less of you because you couldn't open that sandwich

00:43:32.940 bag. Well, that's the thing. That was the distinction too, right? Is realizing like no one's going to

00:43:37.120 think less of you for asking for help. That's a big game changer. I'm glad you said that.

00:43:41.000 Yeah. I think that's something a lot of guys deal with. I mean, I deal with that. You know,

00:43:45.080 I pride myself on being capable. I pride myself on, on being somebody who can figure things out or,

00:43:52.260 or be a little creative or have some ingenuity. And so, yeah, it's even hard for me at times to say,

00:43:58.440 okay, will you help me with this? Although that will like, I don't have to reinvent the wheel. And yet

00:44:03.060 I just keep banging my head against the wall and, and believing that I do in order to quote

00:44:06.820 unquote, be a man. It's crazy. Yeah. You don't got to reinvent the wheel. You just got to make it

00:44:10.740 smoother. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. I love it. I like that too, because one thing that I

00:44:15.980 imagine you've had to learn from the minute you were born is how to adapt. Right. And, and, and so

00:44:21.740 many of us, we don't have to, like we, we can craft the world around us in a way that we don't have

00:44:26.600 to change or evolve. And I don't think you have the same luxuries. It seems to me like you

00:44:30.980 in a society that we live in would have to be more adaptable than the, the quote unquote average

00:44:37.160 man. Right. Yeah. And like, I think that's an advantage too, because like I said, just help me

00:44:43.860 exercise the muscle of like, like, how am I going to get through this? Or how am I going to, you know,

00:44:47.760 how, like the whole thing, it comes down to how. And so for me, yeah, it's, um, just adapting things

00:44:54.040 like, like how you saw me put my, my AirPods in. Yeah. Like it wasn't like that the first time.

00:44:59.040 I bet, I bet that took a lot of practice. Yeah. Like how, how do I balance? Like it's,

00:45:03.860 it's, it's crazy because yeah, just from being born like this, my mind is just naturally in that,

00:45:10.060 that mode of like, okay, like how am I going to work? How am I going to make this work for me?

00:45:13.880 Like it's, it's even little things like, like say I'm going out with someone and you know,

00:45:20.000 they're like, let's go to this restaurant in my head. I'm like, okay, are there steps? Like,

00:45:23.120 will I need to jump out of my wheelchair? Like, um, you know, like it's just,

00:45:27.040 just things that people wouldn't think about, you know? And so are those things that you,

00:45:32.800 are those types of things, things that you now take into consideration still,

00:45:36.600 or are those not as prevalent in your mind? Oh, there's still, they're definitely still

00:45:42.120 prevalent in my mind. Um, I think just like going out more and just, just exposing myself and also

00:45:49.320 having more confidence. Like I think as a kid, maybe in high school, like I would be

00:45:54.540 less inclined or feel uncomfortable to jump out of my wheelchair, climb up the stairs,

00:45:58.600 because like, I just wouldn't want people to look at me. Right. But now I just, I'm just trying

00:46:03.580 to get up the stairs. I'm trying to get the food or I'm just trying to like, I could care less,

00:46:06.800 you know? And like, I think the ego, it's just like really just like surrendering to my ego

00:46:12.540 and realizing like, dude, like who cares? Like, this is how you have to do things. And if people stare

00:46:16.900 at you, they stare at you. If they don't, they don't like, but like you're getting up the stairs and

00:46:20.340 you're going to go in this restaurant and you're not going to let these stupid stairs, you know,

00:46:24.860 veer, veer you off path. But it's definitely weird things that I do think about is like,

00:46:29.400 oh, is there, is there a wheelchair ramp or, you know, is there an elevator? It's just like

00:46:32.720 little things that people don't usually think about. Yeah. I mean, we have the luxury of not

00:46:36.880 having to worry about that stuff. And that, and that's what I'm talking about is that the,

00:46:39.960 the environment has, has molded itself or maybe more accurately, we've molded it to fit,

00:46:45.880 to fit our lifestyle, not necessarily your lifestyle. Yeah. Which, which is okay, right?

00:46:52.760 Like you can look at that as a loss or you can look at it as a gift, as a gift. And for me,

00:46:56.500 it's just like, it keeps, it keeps my mind on point. You know, I'm always looking for ways to

00:47:00.540 adapt and make things more efficient. And, and, um, well, I certainly think it makes you more capable

00:47:05.760 in a lot of ways because you're not looking for somebody else to solve your problems or, you know,

00:47:12.480 some, some company to provide, uh, uh, the best access available. Like you're like, okay, well,

00:47:19.020 that would be nice, but it's not. So let me just navigate this the best I can. Right. So it makes

00:47:23.100 you more capable and, and probably hardens your mind a lot more than, than the guy who freaks out

00:47:28.680 because the 16 year old got his, you know, his, his order wrong at McDonald's or whatever.

00:47:33.440 Oh yeah.

00:47:34.360 Like they're worried about stuff that isn't worth worrying about.

00:47:37.320 Yeah. That, you know, that's another thing. It's just like, just like people complaining,

00:47:42.980 you know, complaining about traffic or, you know, just like that their tire pressure's off. I mean,

00:47:48.620 everything comes down to perspective and realizing like, like the majority of the things that we

00:47:53.460 complain about on a day to day basis, like in the grand scheme of the universe and the world,

00:47:57.080 like we make our own problems. Yeah. And you know, like, I think, I think gratitude and perspective

00:48:02.460 always will ground you and bring you back to that home place where like, you're not complaining

00:48:06.240 about traffic is because like, dude, in the times where I'm getting frustrated or overwhelmed,

00:48:10.820 like, you know, I always have to remember, like I'm alive. Right. Like, uh, I don't know why I'm

00:48:16.280 here and we're on a rock and it's spinning around in the middle of this black stuff that we call

00:48:19.440 outer space that we really don't know what it is. Like, dude, in the grand scheme of things,

00:48:23.060 like we don't know what's going on. We're just here. Exactly. So like, let's just ride. Let's,

00:48:27.660 let's just ride with it. Like we're here, like, and, and we're not here for a very long time. So we might as

00:48:32.440 well just like not stress about the stupid stuff. Right. Right. There's a, there's more things to

00:48:37.880 worry about than some of this trivial nonsense we get bombarded with. Exactly. What, uh, why,

00:48:43.460 why do you think you're here? I, I, I've heard you talk about some things as to what you, what you

00:48:48.760 feel like is, is your purpose, um, and, and, and what your ultimate ambition is. I'd be really curious

00:48:54.200 to hear your take on that. Yeah. It's, um, you know, I battle, I battle in between two things and,

00:49:01.560 you know, like whatever people believe in, like whatever you believe in your purpose is like,

00:49:05.040 that helps you get through life. Like whatever helps you get through life, like do your thing.

00:49:09.140 And so for me, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm stuck in between two things. And the one thing is,

00:49:14.360 I'm, is just a super freak accident. And, um, you know, that nothing's really,

00:49:19.880 nothing really happens for a reason. And I'm just like here and I just happen to make the best out of my

00:49:25.040 situation and I'm the super unicorn or that I was strategically put here in the time in the world

00:49:31.740 where like, you know, things are not so positive and, you know, suicide rates are skyrocketing and,

00:49:37.000 you know, I'm here to share my perspective and blow people's minds and give as much good as I can

00:49:41.840 and leave a massive footprint, even though I don't have legs on this world before I leave. Like,

00:49:45.900 that's the two things that I battle between. It's just like, it's a freak accident or, you know,

00:49:50.240 the universe, God, whatever may be strategically put, put me here to just make a massive impact

00:49:55.860 before I leave. Um, and, and, you know, go on to, if there's a next, if there, you know, like

00:50:00.800 I'm weird, I'm a big believer in energy and souls and that I, you know, sometimes I think I've been

00:50:05.980 here before and that, and that's why like my, my soul strategically picked out this body because it

00:50:10.740 knew that I could handle it and it knew what I was capable of doing in this body. Because like,

00:50:15.860 I, I think if, if you put someone else in this body, you know, someone else may not be able to

00:50:21.900 handle it or may, you know, may crack under pressure or just like, and I don't know, you

00:50:26.320 know, like I'm all over. Yeah. That's interesting. Do you, it's, it's an interesting thought. Do you

00:50:31.140 find value in or, or meaning in both thoughts? You know, the one thought that this is just all

00:50:37.320 accident and, and it is what it is compared to there's some sort of fate or destiny,

00:50:45.700 or preordained path for myself. Is, is there meaning in both of those thoughts for you?

00:50:52.540 Yeah. I, I don't, I don't think there's meaning in the first one, to be honest. Like I don't,

00:50:56.460 I don't think. And that's why I wanted to touch on like what pulls you through life. And so like

00:51:00.700 the, for me, like always thinking like I was strategically put here and like, you know,

00:51:06.040 I meant to be here like every time, every day before, like, I mean, not every day, but every

00:51:09.620 time I, like before I step out on stage and I'm backstage, like I'm, I, I, you know,

00:51:14.640 I think to myself, I'm right where I need to be. Like, this is right where I was designed

00:51:17.880 to be. And, and that helped, that's more motivating. Right. But there's, there, there's

00:51:21.420 that always like that other side of like, oh, this is just be all freak accident, you

00:51:25.700 know? Yeah. But there's more meaning in the second one. There's not much meaning in the

00:51:29.380 first. So like, it's like, what, what pulls you, what pulls you through life?

00:51:32.180 No, I can see that. And, and you know, what's, what's nice about that is you get to decide,

00:51:36.220 right? Like you get to decide which one you want to adhere to and which one you want to think

00:51:41.020 and which one's going to actually serve you and other people you care about.

00:51:44.660 Yeah, exactly. And I just think a lot of people have that, that story that they're telling

00:51:49.580 themselves that doesn't help them, that doesn't serve them. That's the majority of the world.

00:51:53.060 They have, they have that, the first one, right? They live through the first one, whatever that

00:51:57.520 is for them, the first situation. Um, and they don't think they're worthy enough or don't

00:52:01.420 think they deserve success when really it's just like humans are very, very powerful creatures,

00:52:07.300 especially when you get your mind right. It's, it's, it's unbelievable.

00:52:09.680 How do you, well, I guess I was going to say, how do you get yourself out of thinking like that? I

00:52:14.480 guess I should, I'm assuming that you do get like that at times. So how do you redirect or

00:52:21.540 rechannel your, your thought process or your energy to something more positive and encouraging as

00:52:26.680 opposed to potentially destructive? Yeah. You know, like first and foremost,

00:52:31.680 sometimes it's really hard, right? It's really hard to get ourselves out of, out of these dark

00:52:36.280 holes. And so the key is self-awareness and realizing like the state you're in because

00:52:41.080 like, you know, those days where like you're walking around and you have this pissed off face

00:52:44.800 and you're looking, you don't even know it. That's because you're just like, you're in the

00:52:48.540 motions and you don't realize that you're pissed off and your eyebrows are scrunched down. It's just

00:52:52.060 like, so self-awareness is realizing like the thoughts that you're going through your head,

00:52:56.020 you know, your physiology, how are you talking? How are you breathing? And then you got to sit in the

00:53:00.420 guck for a little bit. Like you got to sit in your shit for a little bit and realize like, man,

00:53:03.660 I don't like feeling like this and I don't like the words that are going through my head. And,

00:53:06.780 and then from there, you know, I start just, I start thinking about all the good in my life,

00:53:12.560 you know, all the, all the accomplishments or self-reflecting on the journey of how far you,

00:53:16.840 you've come and how far you evolved as a person. Like you always got to start looking at the good

00:53:20.840 because like focusing on the, on all the bad stuff or all the things that you don't like is just going

00:53:25.180 to sink you deeper and deeper and deeper. But like it, it is, it is important to like sit in that

00:53:30.560 guck for a little bit because it goes back to the quote, like we wouldn't know what the wins feel

00:53:34.640 like if we'd never lost, right? If like life was all sunshine and rainbows, it'd be super boring.

00:53:39.080 And so like, it's the contrast of life that makes it beautiful. So like in those dark times,

00:53:43.360 you realize like, man, like you're more grateful for the times that you feel happy or more grateful

00:53:48.440 for the times that you, you, you don't feel like that. And so you got to sit in the, sit in the guck

00:53:52.900 for a little bit, but start pulling yourself out by reflecting on your wins, by, by staying more positive

00:53:57.600 things. And just, um, your, your, your mind's a garden, right? So you just have to be always very,

00:54:03.400 very conscious of what you're reading and what you're listening to and the things you're looking

00:54:07.440 at on your phone and what you're, what you're spending your energy on.

00:54:11.000 Yeah. I, you know, I've thought a lot about this is especially over the past month or so,

00:54:15.200 as I've started to train more in, in martial arts, jujitsu specifically. And I was thinking about

00:54:20.380 it last night, in fact, cause I was in a lot of pain after class last night. And I remember

00:54:26.800 thinking, well, I don't, I don't want to be in pain, so I'm just not going to come to class.

00:54:31.760 And the more that I've gone to class, the more that I've realized, I don't necessarily enjoy the

00:54:36.620 pain, but I can appreciate it. Right. I can appreciate that the pain is an indicator that

00:54:43.360 there's progress, that the pain is an indicator that there's, there's growth and that there's

00:54:48.400 effort and that you're trying things that your body isn't used to doing. And it's the pain that's

00:54:54.360 an indicator that something is improving in your life. So although I, I can't say I enjoy it,

00:54:59.500 I definitely appreciate it more. Yeah. It's in, in that, that goes back to the,

00:55:05.120 just evolving, you know, like just like being able to push it a little bit more or, you know,

00:55:10.440 just, yeah, I just think it's like that's self-work, like working on yourself. Like even,

00:55:15.780 even me, you know, like right now I'm on, I'm on this challenge where it's, um, 75 days of,

00:55:21.140 um, two workouts a day, at least 45 minutes each, um, a gallon of water, no alcohol and,

00:55:27.040 uh, reading 10 pages of, of, of a book a day. And like, I, the way I do cardio is I, I walk

00:55:33.720 without my hand. I walk basically, I like on my quads or my butt cheeks, like I walk back and forth,

00:55:38.220 um, and I'll do it for 45 minutes. And like today, like, dude, I like, I have this massive,

00:55:42.840 like, well, or this massive, like pimple on my, on my, on my quad. And it's like having like a pimple

00:55:49.680 on like the, the bottom of your foot. And it's just like, man, like this sucks. But then like,

00:55:56.480 I can drive down the street and see like a kid who's in a wheelchair watching his friends play

00:56:00.920 basketball and he can't do it. Right. Like, what do I have to bitch about? Right. Exactly. You're

00:56:06.600 out moving. Yeah. Like, like, and that's the only, the other thing that people need to realize is like,

00:56:12.080 you need to get, you need to start switching your, I have to, to, I get to. And that's like,

00:56:17.560 you know, I, I get to do jujitsu. I get to be physical. I get to be active. I get the sweat.

00:56:21.820 I get to have my heartbeat because there are millions of kids and adults that are confined

00:56:24.780 in wheelchairs and hospital beds that are paralyzed that would give up anything and anything to just go

00:56:29.060 to the gym or breathe fresh air in the park. Like, come on. Yeah. I mean, there's always,

00:56:33.880 it's kind of a funny thought, but there's always somebody who has it worse than you. That's,

00:56:37.580 that's maybe the negative way of looking at it. Or you can look at it and say, you know,

00:56:40.840 I've always got it better off than, than other people. So I better, I better live into this fully.

00:56:46.140 Yeah. Like me, like, dude, like, I don't, I don't have it bad. Like, look around,

00:56:51.100 like look around the world there, you know, like look at people who are starving. They don't even

00:56:55.740 have food. They don't have internet. They don't even have water. Like, like I'm good. Like,

00:57:00.540 like, you know, like, Oh man, it just gets me fired up because just like people think,

00:57:07.040 like people live in America and they like complain and moan.

00:57:10.600 Yeah. Oh yeah.

00:57:11.340 Dude, like what, what are you complaining about?

00:57:13.260 Yeah. What, um, what is your, your relationship generally with the way people treat you? I

00:57:20.800 imagine, I imagine most people, if they don't know you are pretty sensitive around you. I imagine they

00:57:26.420 probably pander to you quite a bit. I mean, what is, what does that look like for you?

00:57:32.380 Yeah, it's a great question. So, you know, if it's funny, like, so for example, like there's like

00:57:38.680 two ways, like this, this is just like, um, a random example, but there are two ways, like

00:57:42.860 people can ask me like, uh, Oh, like what happened to you? Right. Like, you know, if people are curious,

00:57:48.100 so like if someone comes up to me and is like, Hey, Hey man, like, I'm just curious, like, you know,

00:57:52.520 what's your story? Like what happened? Then I'll, I'll tell them my story. Right. But if, if someone's

00:57:57.460 like, like looks at me randomly, he's like, what happened to you?

00:58:00.900 Oh yeah. I'll, I'll go on like this long rant of how I got bit by a shark in Hawaii and totally

00:58:05.580 troll them. And just like, that's what you get for coming at me. And I'm just going to take you on

00:58:09.900 this long like journey of how I got bit by a shark and totally troll you. Um, but I just go off

00:58:15.780 people's energy. Right. Um, and for me, like, um, the one thing that I've been doing, like say for,

00:58:21.600 for supporters, you know, like people that want to take pictures with me, there's been a lot of times

00:58:25.320 where people just feel like they're bothering me and they don't want to take a picture.

00:58:28.000 And so now like I will offer the picture, like, Hey, let's grab a picture, you know,

00:58:32.820 like, because my number one goal, what I've realized in, in a superpower, and maybe it's

00:58:37.720 what my, like my body helps too, but I know how to make, I can make people very transparent

00:58:42.260 and very comfortable. And I think that's the key to, um, long lasting relationships. Um,

00:58:47.560 whether that's, you know, a girl or in business or personal life is just like, I'm very transparent

00:58:52.340 and I'm, and I'm, I want you to communicate with me openly. So like, how are you feeling?

00:58:56.700 Like, what are your thoughts? Like, and then, and when I open up to people like that,

00:59:00.520 then people open up to me and they're more comfortable with me and they can ask me questions

00:59:05.020 that maybe they'd be scared to ask. Right. Like, I just want people to know that like,

00:59:08.620 I'm an open book and like, just let me know how you feel and let me know what you want to ask.

00:59:12.140 And just like, you, you don't, you can't offend me. Like, just do your thing.

00:59:15.620 What do you, what, what do you wish? I don't know if this is the right way to, to phrase this,

00:59:19.640 but what would you change if you could change something about the way people interact with you

00:59:25.300 individually? Yeah, I think, um, I think through like parenthood, right? We're all primed through

00:59:33.940 the way our parents reacted and our, the, the conversations we've had and we watch our parents

00:59:38.240 throughout our lives and our environment. I just think, I just want people to be more curious and

00:59:42.940 ask more questions because like, that's how you learn in life. Like, um, you know, we're,

00:59:47.500 we're always told don't, don't point or don't stare or don't ask questions. Like that's,

00:59:51.580 that's stunting growth. Like that's stunting your kid's growth or that's stunting your growth as a,

00:59:56.420 as an adult is just like ask questions. Like if you don't know something, you ask questions.

01:00:00.880 Like don't, don't like, don't feel like asking questions or being curious is negative because

01:00:06.100 that's like limiting people's potential or limiting people's progress. And so I just want

01:00:09.800 people to be more curious and just ask questions in the right way. Like don't, don't be an idiot and

01:00:13.780 be like, what happened to you? Right. And like, what's your story? Like, there's a way to go

01:00:17.440 about it. Like don't ask questions like an idiot. Well, I think it comes down to motive,

01:00:21.620 right? Like, you know, when somebody's genuinely curious and, and though that times they may lack

01:00:26.540 tact, you can still see that it's coming from the right position. Yeah, for sure. So it's just like,

01:00:32.860 you know, be more, be more curious, but do, do it in the right way. Do it in a polite way. Like

01:00:36.760 how would you want someone to ask you a question? Right? Yeah. Great point. Well, Nick, this has been

01:00:42.060 awesome, man. I want to ask you a couple of additional questions as, as we wind down. And I think we

01:00:46.520 kind of touched on this first question. Um, but, but that question is what does it mean to be a man?

01:00:51.920 Yeah. What does it be? What does it mean to me a man? I think that is, um, like you said,

01:00:58.380 there's so many ways we like we can support people. Right. And we want to be the supporter

01:01:02.200 and the fighter and the alpha male. And I think all of that has to go into, um, setting your ego aside,

01:01:08.560 um, being in tap and, and ego, like that really helps out. Everything is like being in tapped with

01:01:13.940 your emotions, like being, I think a lot, a lot of people like this is random, but a lot of dudes

01:01:18.260 like, like are afraid to cry or don't think it's like masculine to cry. And I'm just like, dude,

01:01:23.420 like I'm just open. Like I feel my emotions and I'm, I'm, I'm open and transparent. And so I think

01:01:28.300 being a man is just like being that caregiver and being that person, um, that loves on people and

01:01:34.440 wants the best for people and wants to provide for their family and their girl, whatever it may be

01:01:38.320 and protect them. But also just, you know, being fully transparent and authentic, like, um, like

01:01:45.080 not only a man, but a human being, but just like showing up transparent, showing up authentic and,

01:01:49.620 and just, um, being there to serve, you know, I think we're all here to serve, but you know,

01:01:53.860 guys want to serve more just being that alpha male. And so just like, just being that, being that,

01:01:59.800 that the man in, in, in your life, like you being that person that people can just come to you for

01:02:04.260 anything and, and, you know, for advice or just to talk or just to cry on, or just like to be open

01:02:09.580 about your emotions. I think just being overall connected to your body and your, and your mind

01:02:13.820 and your soul and just being open with, you know, everything. And I don't know, that's,

01:02:18.680 that's a great question. It kind of, kind of throws me off because I just think it's a bunch

01:02:21.540 of things is becoming, you know, what it is to be a man is just like, just, just be yourself and be

01:02:27.940 authentic and, and open up and be in tune with your emotions and don't feel like you're, you know,

01:02:32.820 you're feminine because you're crying or, or you, or you hurt just like we're all humans at the end

01:02:37.680 of the day. And, and maybe, you know, men think we have, you know, a higher role to play to being

01:02:42.380 that protective figure. But like, I think at the end of the day, just all humans want is, you know,

01:02:46.900 human connection and love. And so just, I'm a lover, bro. Like I'm just here to give as much as I

01:02:51.740 can and, and give advice when I can and love on people when I can. And when I, when I build my

01:02:56.500 business enough and I, and I can financially give that way, you give that way, you know, just always

01:03:00.540 looking for ways to help those around you. And I think I learned that from, you know, just my dad,

01:03:05.740 my dad is just a giver. Like when, you know, just if there wasn't enough food, he'd let everyone else

01:03:11.040 eat and he'd eat last. Like, it's just like, I want to be that. I'm glad that you talk a lot about

01:03:16.100 the complexity of it. I've, I've asked over, gosh, I don't even know, 250 guys now, what it means to

01:03:21.700 be a man. And although there's a lot of overlap, there's no two answers that are the same. And I think

01:03:26.680 that speaks to what you're talking about. This is, it's not a, it's not an easy thing. It's not a

01:03:31.240 simple thing. I think if it were, I'd be out of a job, but, um, it's complex. I think a lot of what

01:03:36.440 you hit on is, is definitely right. And something that, uh, that I subscribe to as well. Well, Nick,

01:03:41.260 how do we connect with you, man? How do we learn more about what you're doing? Um, I know you speak

01:03:45.020 quite a bit. How do we learn all that you've got going on? Yeah. So my, most of my pages are on, um,

01:03:50.900 Instagram. And so that would be Nick Santanastasso. But if you type in N I C K S A N T O,

01:03:56.940 it's the guy with a really long last name. And so that's me. And you can find me on a YouTube,

01:04:02.200 Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, all that good stuff. I'm just, uh, if you type in Nick Santo,

01:04:08.540 I'm the guy with a really long last name, it'll pop up. Perfect. We'll link it all up. So the guys

01:04:12.140 know where to go to Nick. I appreciate you, man. I've been following you for quite a while,

01:04:15.600 probably about a year or so. And I'm, I'm so grateful that John introduced us and

01:04:19.780 this, this conversation was powerful. It was a really insightful for me. And I want to let you

01:04:24.640 know that you've been inspiring to me as, as I've tried to lead myself and my family and other

01:04:29.580 individuals. And, and, and I just want to thank you for that. Brother, I appreciate you sharing

01:04:33.880 that with me. And like I said, man, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for John and grateful for

01:04:38.760 the opportunity to get on here and share a message that could help, help some other men out there.

01:04:43.180 It definitely will appreciate you. You got it, brother.

01:04:45.860 Gentlemen, there you go. I hope you enjoyed that powerful, powerful conversation with my

01:04:51.480 friend, Nick Stanton Estasso. Uh, he, he is such an incredible guy. I mean, really, really inspiring,

01:04:57.880 uh, in spite of all odds and everything that he's gone through. One of the people that I look to for

01:05:02.900 personal inspiration and growth and, and, and positivity and, and really just unlocking and

01:05:08.260 showing me what's, what's possible when I commit to doing something and overcome the, uh,

01:05:14.340 the odds that may be stacked against me or any of the odds that may be stacked against you.

01:05:18.980 So make sure you connect with both of us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube,

01:05:24.540 wherever you're doing the social media thing. We want to be connected. I'm at Ryan Mickler.

01:05:28.880 My last name is spelled M I C H L E R. Uh, the Instagram continues to grow for me. Um, I'm very,

01:05:35.080 very active. In fact, I'm probably most active over there. So again, make sure you, you connect with

01:05:39.440 me and also connect with Nick. Let them know what you thought about the conversation. Let them know

01:05:43.760 that you listened to it. Uh, let him and I know what, what you enjoyed the most and more specifically,

01:05:48.360 what you're going to be doing in your life, uh, to improve your life and improve your situation

01:05:52.620 and overcome your own odds because of the conversation that we had. And then on a parting

01:05:57.140 note, I would ask you also to please share this episode specifically, share this movement, share

01:06:02.020 the podcast, talk with men in your circle who need to hear the message of reclaiming and restoring

01:06:07.060 masculinity, which by the way, guys, if you haven't already figured this out as every man,

01:06:11.380 every man needs to hear this. So I want to part and say that I appreciate you, that I thank you

01:06:16.800 for being on this journey and this path with me. It's because of men like you and me and the rest of

01:06:21.320 us that, uh, this, this conversation continues to grow and we will reverse the trend, change the tide

01:06:27.580 of the softening and feminization of society through the movement that is order of man. All right,

01:06:32.680 guys go out there. We'll see you tomorrow for our ask me anything, take action, become the man you

01:06:38.760 are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge

01:06:43.800 of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at

01:06:48.560 order of man.com.

Order of Man - July 16, 2019

Defeating the Odds ｜ NICK SANTONASTASSO

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