Order of Man - March 29, 2019


Destroy Your "Money Demons" ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

22 minutes

Words per Minute

186.85678

Word Count

4,176

Sentence Count

245

Misogynist Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode of Field Notes, Ryan Michler talks about the importance of destroying your money demons. He also talks about a recent conversation he had with a man about money and how it affects our ability to provide for ourselves and our families.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.
00:00:32.220 And when I say the movement, what I'm talking about is the movement to reclaim and restore traditional masculinity.
00:00:38.500 Back to a time when men were strong, we were honorable, we were courageous, we were bold, we were competitive, we were stoic.
00:00:45.980 And what's fascinating as I say these things is most men would agree that that's how we're to step up.
00:00:51.600 And yet there seems to be an attack or a dismissal about what it means to be a man in an attempt to redefine this as if somehow it is subject to interpretation.
00:01:01.880 It's not. Certainly there's areas of masculinity and manliness that are subjective, but the overwhelming majority of cultures throughout all of time in history have agreed that men are protectors, providers, presiders, and that's what I'm trying to do.
00:01:17.660 So I'm bringing this Friday field notes to you, which is my ideas from throughout the week, but we've also got our interview show.
00:01:23.840 We've got the ask me anything where we're fielding questions from you guys.
00:01:27.660 And we are on a mission again to reclaim and restore masculinity.
00:01:32.140 Now I've got a good one lined up for you today and one that I think actually poses a very real and serious threat to our ability to provide for our family.
00:01:40.180 So we're going to talk about that here in a minute.
00:01:41.640 Uh, it's called destroying your money demons before I get into that, though.
00:01:46.940 I do want to make one very, very quick announcement.
00:01:49.760 A lot of you guys have been listening to the podcast for a long time, but over the past month, uh, I've been talking about giving away a brand new Hoyt helix.
00:01:58.400 This is a bow made from Hoyt.
00:02:00.060 Uh, it's an amazing, amazing bow.
00:02:02.640 Uh, and I shoot a Hoyt.
00:02:04.380 My wife shoots a Hoyt and we are fortunate enough to work with them in giving one away.
00:02:09.160 But if you're interested in winning the Hoyt bow, then you need to head to order of man.com slash Hoyt and get registered.
00:02:18.640 I think there's gosh, six or seven different ways that you can register to enter.
00:02:22.940 And we're giving that away on April 1st.
00:02:25.600 This is not an April fool's joke.
00:02:27.220 We are indeed giving away a brand new Hoyt bow, but you got to get it done before the end of this month, because we're shutting it down on the 31st.
00:02:34.620 Cause we will announce the winner on the first again, order of man.com slash Hoyt.
00:02:39.160 All right.
00:02:39.600 That's all I've got by way of announcements today.
00:02:41.480 I want to cruise right into this thing because I was having a conversation with somebody earlier today.
00:02:47.100 And I thought, man, what, what an incredible conversation that him and I had.
00:02:51.260 And one that I think I need to share with you, uh, because ultimately one of our core functions as men is to be able to provide.
00:03:00.380 Now this could mean a lot of different things provide financially, of course, provide spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
00:03:07.800 There's a lot of provisions that we as men need to secure and give to ourselves and the people that we care about.
00:03:13.800 But specifically today, I want to isolate the idea of providing financially and how critical it is.
00:03:21.200 And yet I see so many men who are wrapped up and confused and have destructive thoughts and ideas about their relationship with money.
00:03:31.360 And what it ends up doing is hindering, even if it's subconsciously their ability to be the types of providers financially that their families are relying upon them to be.
00:03:42.220 And what I found is that as I've made more money in my life, I have been more adequately capable and able to step up in big ways.
00:03:51.520 I've been able to take off time from work to give to my kids by coaching their teams.
00:03:57.080 We've been, we've gone on more vacations and had more experiences and it's just better, right?
00:04:02.900 It's just better to have money.
00:04:05.340 Now I know people are going to say that money is the root of all evil and money is bad and money is wrong.
00:04:10.720 And guess what? Those are actually money demons.
00:04:12.800 And we're going to address that today.
00:04:14.120 But money is not any of those things.
00:04:16.500 It's amoral. It's neither good nor bad.
00:04:18.840 But what it does is it does afford us options.
00:04:22.460 It does magnify who we already are and who we have the potential to become.
00:04:27.920 So we're going to talk about what money demons are.
00:04:30.260 We're going to talk about some examples of money demons, some things that either you've heard other people say or things that you've said yourself.
00:04:37.560 And we're going to talk about what money is, what it actually is, and discuss your relationship with money.
00:04:45.240 And then I'm going to give you a challenge towards the end of this.
00:04:47.440 And as we wrap things up and you listen to this podcast and you implement what I'm talking about and you take the challenge I'm going to issue you,
00:04:54.420 I can guarantee that you are going to have a more positive relationship with this little green piece of paper that all of us have a tendency about or of getting emotional with.
00:05:05.540 And that's what we're going to address today.
00:05:08.380 So that said, let's get right into what a money demon is.
00:05:12.080 A money demon is a belief, a thought, a pattern, an idea, a script that you have about money, this little green piece of paper again, that is destructive to your ability to build wealth in your life.
00:05:28.760 It hinders you, it impedes you, it slows down progress.
00:05:32.880 When you start to build some level of wealth in your life, you will subconsciously sabotage yourself to keep you from having more money.
00:05:39.600 These are all demons that keep you ultimately from building the type of wealth that most men talk about building in their lives.
00:05:46.720 And yet they haven't been able to put it together.
00:05:49.180 And the biggest reason I believe is the foundational knowledge and thoughts and ideas they have about money itself.
00:05:56.900 And when you start thinking about money correctly and you start thinking about what it actually is and what it represents and how it can be utilized to harness leveraging abilities, to harness trade, to harness value, then you will build more of it in your life.
00:06:14.480 And you will be able to deploy these little green pieces of paper more effectively in your life to serve yourself, to serve your family, to serve your businesses, your communities, and every other facet of life.
00:06:25.380 That's what we need to understand about money, guys, is that money is a very, very powerful tool if used correctly.
00:06:33.180 And the analogy I use is a hammer.
00:06:34.800 Nobody thinks that a hammer is either good or bad.
00:06:37.880 It's simply a hunk of metal with some plastic on it.
00:06:42.280 All right?
00:06:42.460 That's all it is.
00:06:43.420 And yet if you use it incorrectly, you can smash the shit out of your thumb and that's going to hurt.
00:06:48.760 And it might even break your hand.
00:06:50.620 But if you use it correctly, you can build things with it.
00:06:54.140 You can build homes with it that other people can live in and that you can enjoy and you can uplift yourself and you can uplift your family and uplift society.
00:07:02.420 It's simply a tool.
00:07:03.820 So let's learn how to use it.
00:07:05.440 But in order to use it correctly, we have to get over these negative and destructive and delusional thoughts that we have about how money works.
00:07:14.320 So let me give you a couple of examples.
00:07:16.420 And you're going to know what these are because you've heard them.
00:07:18.660 And you may even have incorporated them as scripts in your life.
00:07:22.700 I know that there's been times in my life, especially as I was growing up, where I believe some inaccurate thoughts about what money is.
00:07:31.200 And we hear these things mostly from our parents and potentially school teachers and other adults who don't have a positive relationship with money because they learned it from their parents.
00:07:39.840 But you hear things like money doesn't grow on trees and money is the root of all evil.
00:07:45.520 And it's easier what it has to go.
00:07:47.480 It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the gates of heaven.
00:07:52.920 These are all things that we hear.
00:07:54.480 A penny saved is a penny earned.
00:07:56.100 And what we do is we take these sayings and these phrases and these scripts and we incorporate them into our lives.
00:08:02.900 And either consciously or subconsciously, we operate by these scripts.
00:08:07.600 And so we reject the idea that we can build wealth.
00:08:11.120 We say things like rich people are greedy or arrogant or prideful or criminals or crooks or assholes.
00:08:18.120 And what we're telling ourselves simultaneously is that I don't want to be any of those things.
00:08:23.380 Therefore, I don't want to build wealth.
00:08:25.120 We make these really, really strange connections that have no basis in reality.
00:08:30.200 I'll give you one of the demons that I used to have that I've now overcome.
00:08:33.360 And surprise, surprise, when I overcame this demon, I was able to attract and build more wealth into my life.
00:08:38.800 That idea was that in order to be a noble, virtuous human being, you had to be struggling financially.
00:08:46.580 Now, when I say that, it sounds so weird and so foreign to me.
00:08:51.460 And I know a lot of you guys, as you hear that, you're thinking,
00:08:53.880 what in the world is Ryan talking about?
00:08:56.880 And yet, if you really delve deep into the way you think about money,
00:08:59.880 you probably have things that are similar to what I just said.
00:09:03.720 And the reason I incorporated this as a script into my life is because
00:09:07.140 I watched my mom, who raised my sister and me primarily on her own, struggle financially.
00:09:13.380 She worked two and three jobs at a time to try to make ends meet.
00:09:18.000 And she's one of the most caring, hardworking, loving, virtuous human beings that I know.
00:09:24.160 And because she's that type of individual, and because she struggled at times financially,
00:09:29.260 what I did is I put the things together.
00:09:31.720 I put the idea that she was struggling financially and that she was virtuous together.
00:09:36.140 And I thought that in order for you to be noble and virtuous and righteous and a good
00:09:41.360 human being, that you also had to struggle.
00:09:43.580 But guys, this isn't true.
00:09:45.780 I mean, most of us just, I would think, inherently know that.
00:09:48.820 And yet, I had programmed that into my mind.
00:09:51.080 It was so hardwired into my mind that I felt like in my financial planning practice,
00:09:55.760 and as I was starting my career, that I had to struggle financially.
00:10:00.040 And anyone who wasn't struggling financially wasn't as virtuous or wasn't as noble.
00:10:05.620 It wasn't until I separated the two ideas, that you can be honorable and noble and virtuous
00:10:11.440 and also make a lot of money, that I realized that this was a money demon of mine.
00:10:17.320 Now, how did I come to that conclusion?
00:10:18.960 I found individuals who were noble and virtuous and righteous and honorable and good human beings.
00:10:25.500 And they were making a lot of money.
00:10:27.200 And that completely altered my reality and shifted my frame of reference for the way
00:10:31.280 I wanted to behave with regards to money.
00:10:34.260 But what are your money demons?
00:10:36.260 What are the things that you adhere to?
00:10:38.140 Is it something similar to what I just shared with you?
00:10:40.280 Is it that the idea that money doesn't grow on trees?
00:10:43.100 Is it the idea that rich people are arrogant or greedy or crooks or criminals?
00:10:48.940 What is it that you're telling yourself about money?
00:10:51.560 And I'm going to come back into this when we get into the challenge.
00:10:54.020 But what I really wanted to explain today and the whole, I guess, the meat of the discussion
00:11:01.160 today is what money actually represents.
00:11:03.800 Because I think once we represent or once we understand, I should say, what money represents,
00:11:08.600 then we'll be able to more clearly and easily identify anything contrary to what it actually
00:11:14.980 is.
00:11:15.320 Because people are so confused, so confused, including you and including me at one point
00:11:21.680 about what this little piece of paper with some green ink on it actually means.
00:11:27.060 And that's all it is.
00:11:28.240 All right.
00:11:28.460 Money has no inherent value.
00:11:31.680 It's a little piece of paper.
00:11:33.140 It's got some ink on it.
00:11:34.800 And maybe in the higher bills, it might have some sort of strip in there to make sure that
00:11:39.480 it's not counterfeit, that it's real.
00:11:42.580 But it's not worth anything.
00:11:44.860 I'm holding a $20 bill in my hand right now.
00:11:47.280 You can't see it because we're just on the airwaves here, but I'm holding a $20 bill
00:11:51.000 in my hand.
00:11:52.380 And if I were to show you this $20 bill, hold it right in front of you.
00:11:55.800 And I asked you, how much is this worth?
00:11:58.820 You would say $20.
00:12:01.200 And if you took this $20 out of my hand and you showed it to somebody else and you said,
00:12:04.960 how much is this worth?
00:12:05.920 That individual would say, well, that's worth $20.
00:12:08.640 The question is, why?
00:12:11.720 Why is this green piece of paper with some ink on it worth $20?
00:12:16.900 And why does everybody in America understand this to mean $20?
00:12:21.220 It's because we have collectively agreed that this is going to represent $20 worth of value.
00:12:30.900 It's value.
00:12:32.520 Money is simply a metric of value.
00:12:35.640 Nothing more, nothing less.
00:12:37.260 So as we transact and as we do business, whether that's buying merchandise in the order of man
00:12:44.280 store or buying a membership to the iron council or buying a car or purchasing a home or purchasing
00:12:51.120 accounting services or legal services or any number of transactions that you do on a daily
00:12:55.980 basis, it's this little green piece of paper called money that makes that business possible.
00:13:02.140 Because what happens in a financial transaction is that I have to have something of value for you
00:13:07.980 and you have to have something of value for me.
00:13:10.960 If we agree in that value, then business is conducted.
00:13:15.260 If we don't, business doesn't take place.
00:13:17.860 The problem with this idea is that sometimes let's take you and I, for example, maybe I have
00:13:24.480 what you want.
00:13:25.580 Maybe you want something to help you become a better man or a better husband, a better
00:13:29.580 father, a better business owner.
00:13:31.560 And you decide, you know what?
00:13:32.760 I'm going to pay Ryan because I want to join the iron council.
00:13:36.700 He has what I want.
00:13:37.840 But on the other hand, you don't have what I want.
00:13:40.260 Let's say I want to buy a new car, but you don't own that car.
00:13:44.260 So how does business get conducted?
00:13:47.260 I have what you want.
00:13:48.360 You don't have what I want.
00:13:49.860 So what we've decided to do as a society is bring in this little intermediary, this
00:13:54.520 little third party variable, if you will, called money.
00:13:58.580 And now what happens is that you purchase my services because you want them.
00:14:03.640 Now you don't have what I want, but what you do have is you have $20 or $50 or $100.
00:14:08.320 And so you say, Ryan, I don't have what you have, but I'm going to give you this piece
00:14:11.720 of paper that's worth, let's just say $100.
00:14:14.240 And then you can take that $100 and then you can go buy whatever it is that you want
00:14:20.320 to buy.
00:14:20.980 Money is only necessary in that it helps business get done.
00:14:26.500 It helps transactions take place without this little third variable or this third component.
00:14:32.820 Transactions would be less likely to take place.
00:14:35.180 And we'd be back in the stone age because we wouldn't know how to trade goods and services
00:14:39.180 and ideas.
00:14:40.260 So this is what makes it all possible.
00:14:44.120 Again, it's not moral.
00:14:45.800 It's not bad.
00:14:47.020 It's not good.
00:14:48.200 It's simply a metric of perceived value.
00:14:51.000 And I say perceived deliberately because I don't get to decide what's valuable for you
00:14:55.400 and you don't get to decide what's valuable for me.
00:14:58.360 This money is a standard, but how much you have to pay me for my services is varying.
00:15:05.100 All right.
00:15:05.780 What's interesting about this is as we conduct business, you have to believe, and we'll take
00:15:11.080 this $100 scenario.
00:15:12.560 You have to believe that what I offer you is worth more than $100.
00:15:19.300 Otherwise, you would just keep the $100 and spend it on something else.
00:15:22.440 So if you're going to give me $100, you believe that what I offer in exchange for the $100 is
00:15:26.500 worth more than $100.
00:15:27.460 On the other hand, I believe that what I'm giving you is worth less than the $100 you're
00:15:36.000 giving back.
00:15:37.020 Because if I didn't believe that, I would just hang on to my services and give them or
00:15:41.020 my products to somebody else who believes they're more valuable.
00:15:43.740 And because we all have differing ideas of value and we all place different value on different
00:15:49.140 items and services and products and needs and desires based on where we may be in life
00:15:53.200 and what we ultimately want.
00:15:54.880 Again, we have one standardized system called the dollar called money that will allow us
00:16:01.120 to determine objectively what something is potentially worth.
00:16:05.900 So that's it.
00:16:07.540 That's all money is guys.
00:16:09.540 It's a measurement of perceived value.
00:16:11.580 There's nothing else to it.
00:16:13.820 And once we wrap our heads around that, then we can move forward confidently knowing that
00:16:18.640 we're not going to be evil or damned to hell if we build wealth in our lives, because all
00:16:23.540 it means is that we added perceived value to other individuals' lives.
00:16:27.900 As long as I didn't steal money from you, it was a voluntary exchange of value.
00:16:33.940 And the more I collect in these little dollar bills, the more value that I've given to other
00:16:39.600 individuals because they voluntarily decided to give me this in exchange for my products,
00:16:45.480 services, or offerings.
00:16:47.340 And the beautiful part about this is that the more of these little dollars that I collect
00:16:51.300 in my bank account and I have tucked away for a rainy day is I can actually go out into
00:16:56.760 life and do things that are important to me.
00:16:59.240 I can go out and serve.
00:17:00.700 I can go out, invest in companies I believe in, and hopefully I'll get more money returned
00:17:05.580 to me.
00:17:05.940 Uh, I can give this money away to other individuals.
00:17:09.100 I can buy some freedom and flexibility in my time to be able to support things that are
00:17:13.940 interesting and, and relevant in my life.
00:17:17.180 It's money that makes this happen.
00:17:20.480 Now, where does it become a detriment when we get so wrapped up in the money itself rather
00:17:25.900 than the experience?
00:17:26.780 And it becomes the end in and of itself that we think that we have to have this money or
00:17:32.640 we place so much worth on ourselves, or we become completely obsessed with it that we
00:17:38.280 don't recognize that it's actually a good thing and what it's actually used for.
00:17:43.220 So here's what I want you to do.
00:17:46.660 I want you, and this is the challenge today.
00:17:48.380 I want you to think about your relationship with money.
00:17:51.720 I just gave you a little backstory about what money actually is.
00:17:55.060 I told you how it's to be utilized.
00:17:56.720 I told you how it's not moral.
00:17:59.060 It's amoral.
00:18:00.220 It's neither good nor bad.
00:18:01.380 It's simply a tool that can be harnessed correctly or incorrectly.
00:18:04.820 And that's ultimately up to you.
00:18:06.400 But I want you to think about in this challenge, how you feel about money, what your relationship
00:18:13.940 is with money.
00:18:15.180 What thoughts does it conjure up?
00:18:17.260 When you go back and think about how you learned these ideas about money, where did that come
00:18:22.420 from?
00:18:23.020 Are the things that you think about money destroying your ability to build wealth, or are they enhancing
00:18:27.800 your ability to build wealth?
00:18:30.320 Really spend some time, guys.
00:18:32.700 This is critical.
00:18:34.180 I cannot overstate how important it is for you and me and everybody else listening to this
00:18:39.420 podcast to wrap their heads around why it's so important that we build wealth in our lives.
00:18:44.760 It's not knowable to be broke.
00:18:47.260 It's also not knowable to be wealthy.
00:18:49.940 It's knowable to develop tools and resources and ideas and services and offerings that will
00:18:58.500 add value to your life, to your family's life, to complete strangers' lives, and in return,
00:19:07.680 collect payment through money so that we can do it again and again and again and again and
00:19:14.920 magnify what we're offering to the world.
00:19:17.660 Guys, I think it's a man's job to make money.
00:19:21.060 I think it's a man's job to provide value.
00:19:23.680 I think at the root of what it means to be a man is to serve.
00:19:26.700 And we are more capable of serving when we know how to build wealth in our lives.
00:19:32.120 And I will get tactical in this.
00:19:34.620 I will tell you how to invest and how to save and how to build a retirement account because
00:19:40.560 we're going to do podcasts on this.
00:19:42.040 But if you don't have the foundational principle of what money is, why it's so important, how
00:19:48.920 you're interacting with it, what your relationship is with it.
00:19:51.640 Is it positive?
00:19:52.420 Is it negative?
00:19:53.480 Is it uplifting you?
00:19:54.560 Is it giving you the opportunity to build more wealth and more options in your life?
00:19:58.680 Or is it hindering you?
00:19:59.500 You got to get that stuff right first, because if you get that right stuff, that stuff right
00:20:03.420 first, then everything else will begin to fall in line a little bit easier.
00:20:07.280 I can tell you this with a hundred percent certainty.
00:20:09.820 I was in the financial planning field for 10 years and I watched those who were very wealthy
00:20:14.500 and they had a very positive relationship with money.
00:20:17.440 They saw it for what it is, a tool to be utilized and used for productive outcomes.
00:20:23.860 And on the flip side of that, I saw people who had a very destructive relationship with
00:20:29.080 money.
00:20:29.340 They saw it as a, an evil, maybe even a, uh, necessary evil.
00:20:35.580 And it was something that shouldn't be trusted and something that corrupts people.
00:20:39.700 And therefore they, like I said, sabotage themselves.
00:20:43.640 So again, the challenge today guys, and this weekend is to get out a piece of paper, get a
00:20:48.140 notepad, get whatever you need to get out right now and start thinking about what your
00:20:53.540 money demons are.
00:20:55.540 What are you saying about money?
00:20:57.640 Where did you learn this stuff?
00:20:59.340 The people who taught you this stuff, what was their relationship with money?
00:21:03.540 Like were they broke?
00:21:05.080 Were they wealthy?
00:21:06.500 Where were they financially?
00:21:07.920 And do you want to be that?
00:21:09.320 And conversely, who are the people who have a positive relationship with money?
00:21:14.260 What are the wealthy people think about money?
00:21:16.200 Are these people good?
00:21:17.200 Are they bad?
00:21:18.280 Are they uplifting?
00:21:19.280 Are they adding value and service?
00:21:20.680 Like really spend some time and really put some thought and reflection into your relationship
00:21:26.880 with money.
00:21:27.260 I know that as you do, you'll be more aware of what this tool is, what it represents and
00:21:32.260 the power that it inherently possesses because you will be utilizing it to better serve yourself,
00:21:38.200 your family, your community, your loved ones, and the people that frankly, you have an obligation
00:21:43.680 or responsibility to serve.
00:21:44.800 You can do that more fully when you build wealth in your life and you can build more
00:21:49.920 wealth in your life when you understand that this tool can be used for good and it should
00:21:55.340 be used for good.
00:21:56.280 And it's our responsibility to ensure that it is.
00:21:58.740 So that's all I've got for you today, guys.
00:22:00.900 Think about that.
00:22:01.900 Ponder on that.
00:22:03.120 Destroy those money demons.
00:22:04.820 Understand your relationship with money.
00:22:06.860 Go out there.
00:22:07.920 Take action.
00:22:08.820 Become the man you are meant to be.
00:22:10.820 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:22:13.420 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:22:17.820 We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.