Order of Man - Developing a Competitive Mindset, Achieving Excellence, and Managing Fear ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up man? Great to see you today. I'm looking forward to

00:00:27.420 another Ask Me Anything. Yeah, I'm excited. Today's a good day here at the office. Maybe I

00:00:33.900 shouldn't tell anybody this. So, new guys get a prank. We prank the hell out. I remember you

00:00:39.440 talking about that. Yeah. So, we have a new guy coming in. We got some good stuff planned. I'm

00:00:43.880 really excited about it. Can you disclose any of the potential pranks that might be employed?

00:00:50.360 Okay. So, there's a full day of it. Almost, we want to push them to the point of they go home and

00:00:57.340 go to their spouse and go, today was crazy. That's kind of what we're going for. And as an

00:01:04.640 example, there's office buildings where we are. There's no assigned parking, but he got an email

00:01:10.980 saying, hey, I know there's not numbers on parking spots, but you're assigned parking spot,

00:01:16.400 the closest I could get. And it's way out there, like out in the middle of nowhere.

00:01:22.300 You've done this one before, right?

00:01:23.740 I've done this one before. And then another thing that we're going to do is we're not going

00:01:29.580 to give them his key fob to the building. And we put it into a potty pass and the entire team

00:01:36.280 is asking for the potty pass all day long. So, we've all committed to use the potty pass.

00:01:43.040 Oh, you're not going to give them the key to the building? What does that have to do with going to

00:01:48.600 the bathroom? The key fob to the building is also to the office space and the offices are,

00:01:53.440 or the bathrooms are common. So, he has to have that potty pass to be able to get back into the

00:01:58.460 office. Nice.

00:02:01.000 And then the last one I think will be fun is, there's some more, but I'm not going to disclose

00:02:05.940 them because there's probably some legality to these other things.

00:02:09.440 But you're hazing these people as they come in.

00:02:11.940 Yeah. It's great. And we have a team planning meeting today and someone's going to stand at

00:02:17.620 the conference room door and give out sanitizer and check temperatures before we all go into the

00:02:24.420 conference room. Oh, man. It's good.

00:02:28.240 When you do it, you probably should say, oh, you have a high temperature. You can't come in.

00:02:33.200 Yeah.

00:02:34.060 Don't even let them come in.

00:02:34.960 Just go back to your desk and call in.

00:02:36.120 Or either call in or just, you need to stand outside and listen as best you can from outside,

00:02:43.700 but you can't come in.

00:02:44.380 Through the door.

00:02:45.240 Yeah.

00:02:45.440 That's right.

00:02:48.860 That's awesome. Well, you have to let me know how it goes, man. Good times. I'm glad there's still

00:02:53.160 companies and organizations that can lighten up and have some fun with their people. We live in this

00:02:57.600 society that is so quick to sue and everything else and be offended and butthurt over everything.

00:03:04.500 And it's like, man, where's the fun in that?

00:03:07.440 Yeah. In fact, maybe that's my question for you in this ask me anything is I have struggled

00:03:14.500 trying to figure out what questions I need to ask during the interview process to determine

00:03:20.800 someone's sensitivity. And.

00:03:25.100 Oh, yeah.

00:03:25.920 You know what I'm saying? Like, are they easily offended? And I don't know, I've struggled trying

00:03:32.600 to pulse that a little bit. And it's really usually like, give me an example in your current

00:03:37.400 workplace where something that would have offended someone else didn't offend you, you know, and I've

00:03:43.560 tried to, I don't know, or even more direct. Like, maybe it's just as simple as saying, hey,

00:03:50.540 in previous work environments, what, what, what situations did you find most difficult mentally

00:03:57.100 or emotionally and just come right out. And they might, they might say, oh, well, I've never really,

00:04:03.560 you know, I've had people that were jerks or whatever, but it's fine. Or they might say, well, 0.98

00:04:06.860 this one person one time made an inappropriate comment. And then you're like, oh, okay, well,

00:04:12.420 that might lead you into maybe, I mean, it depends on what the comment is, but it might lead you in

00:04:17.880 the right direction. Yeah. I don't know. That's an interesting thought. Yeah. I've, I, that's like

00:04:23.240 my number one, like that's just critical, right? I'm always trying to pulse how that's sensitive,

00:04:31.160 but you know what I mean? How offended someone might be, you know, the other thing too is culture,

00:04:37.280 right? So you might, you might really ask them if you could create your, your perfect work environment.

00:04:44.500 And I'm not talking about your work duties and responsibilities that stuff, of course,

00:04:48.500 but just your perfect, your perfect work environment. What, what would you want the

00:04:54.480 culture to be specifically? Yeah. Yeah. And they might say, I'd want it to be a fun group. I'd want

00:05:00.580 it to be a solid group. Are you clicking your pen Kip? Sorry. I am going to, I am going to come 0.97

00:05:06.820 through this screen and take that pen and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Rookie mistake. I'm all

00:05:15.060 clicking right by the mic here. Anyways, no, that's a good question. It's a good thought. Well,

00:05:21.200 I'm, I'm anxious to see how it goes, man. Let me know. Let's get into these questions though,

00:05:24.080 for today. Yeah, for sure. So we got questions from the iron council to learn more about the iron

00:05:29.420 council, go to order man.com slash iron castle. I can't hear it when I'm talking. In fact, that's how I

00:05:34.460 surprised that you even heard it. Cause you never stopped talking. So I was surprised that you could

00:05:39.880 even hear anything. I'll shut up. All right. All right. Michael Bilstrom, if you had to start 0.97

00:05:48.600 marketing order of man all over again from zero, what are the first three things that you would

00:05:54.140 focus on? The first thing I would do is get really clear about the issues culturally in society that I

00:06:03.420 see that I don't agree with. So go ahead. Well, I was just going to say, because that's the unique

00:06:11.720 selling proposition. Yeah. Because what, what everybody else does is, you know, I think most

00:06:18.520 people would focus on a problem and say, Oh, this is a problem, but they're really like solution

00:06:22.360 oriented, which is good. We should be solution oriented, but if you're going to be a great marketer,

00:06:26.900 the first thing you need to do is figure out why you're different. And so if you're going to be a

00:06:31.880 milk toast, if you're going to be bland and boring and do what everybody else does, then really don't

00:06:37.340 be surprised when nobody catches attention. So what is it that you see in society as a problem

00:06:42.680 that you might take as a contrarian perspective? So for example, I'm a huge proponent of the nuclear

00:06:50.740 family. And I think that's, I think that's a popular thought, but it also can be very controversial.

00:06:56.340 So that's a point that I really can make. Uh, I think that there are traditional roles between

00:07:05.500 men and women generally. Now, sometimes they fall outside of those roles because of the dynamic of

00:07:10.120 the family, but generally speaking, like we're men for a reason, women are women for a reason. And so

00:07:15.460 it's not that these, these, uh, masculinity and femininity are societal constructs.

00:07:22.420 It's that they're biological constructs and they're supported societally generally up until

00:07:27.020 relatively recently because they work. And it isn't until the ease of modernity that we've

00:07:32.620 even been able to call into question what a man and woman's role is. So that's a contrarian perspective

00:07:38.000 to what I would say is the doctrine of popular culture. So really figure out not only what you're

00:07:43.720 going to solve and what solution you're presenting, but how are you going to, how are you going to make

00:07:48.680 this something that catches attention? And if you aren't willing to do that or are incapable of

00:07:55.860 doing that, you're going to, you're going to blend in with everybody else. Who's already trying to say

00:08:00.540 solve the same problems that you are. So that's, that's number one, number two. And this is one that

00:08:06.540 we got really, really right is you need to focus on a tribe. And, and it's, and it's a little

00:08:13.900 challenging because we have this concept of tribalism where it's taken so far that you can't

00:08:22.060 consider alternative perspectives. It's an us versus them mentality and everything can be taken

00:08:27.220 too far, but there is power in creating communities. And every single person on the planet wants to be

00:08:33.960 part of something, right? That's actually why when you have your new guy come work with you guys,

00:08:39.400 you actually give them a hard time because that actually, that actually binds you together.

00:08:44.980 Totally. Now you can joke and laugh, and then you can tell stories about what they did to you.

00:08:49.000 And then guess what? Next time you guys have a new hire, the hire today, he gets to be in on it

00:08:54.880 to get the next guy. Totally. This is, this is group. This is a community. It's very, very important.

00:09:02.180 And we got that right. I mean, we hit that out of the park from day one. It was never about me. It was

00:09:07.080 about us and what we're trying to accomplish. And then the third component is I would really

00:09:13.500 strive to find people who are already working with your existing market and start networking with them

00:09:21.340 at value, read their books, do book reviews for other people, do write-ups on those, highlight them,

00:09:29.300 feature them, show them off, invite them on the podcast, serve them, add value to their lives in some

00:09:35.080 way. And I learned that in my financial planning practice, I would go out to estate planning

00:09:40.320 attorneys, CPAs, real estate agents, home and auto insurance agents. These are, these are

00:09:48.200 ancillary to what it is I was doing as a financial advisor, but so closely connected that I could go

00:09:54.860 talk with a real estate agent, for example, and they were talking about financial situations with

00:09:59.360 their homeowners, but they weren't selling financial products like I was, or alternatively, I might have

00:10:06.120 a client that wants to sell a home. And, and so I could connect them with the real estate agent that

00:10:11.680 I happen to be working with. So creating these, these networking networks outlets, partners. Yeah.

00:10:18.060 Yeah. Right. Really, really important. Uh, and then just get good at, this is a fourth one, I guess,

00:10:24.600 but get really, really good at social media. Like at this point, we're pretty good at social media.

00:10:31.300 What does that mean to be good at it? To be good at it means that you're captivating,

00:10:38.180 that you're compelling. So that's different. Captivating is you can get people's attention.

00:10:43.900 Compelling is now they're going to stick around and listen and actually consider the perspective

00:10:47.300 you're sharing. Uh, and then you're consistent with it as well. You do it day in and day out

00:10:53.440 forever and you don't waver on it. You always put stuff out there. Uh, and, and also that you're

00:10:59.740 unique and different and interesting and even entertaining because if you aren't, you know,

00:11:05.660 who's going to listen to that. So there's going to be a lot of people who listen to this podcast,

00:11:10.180 especially as we get started with this right now and think, Oh, you know, like, this is so like,

00:11:13.880 I don't like this side of things. And let's just get this out of the way. You actually have to care

00:11:19.280 about the people you're serving. Like that's the prerequisite. And if you don't care about those

00:11:23.540 people, it does. And if it's genuine, then you can do everything I just listed and shared with you

00:11:28.460 better. But if not, you're just gaming the system. You're manipulating it. Uh, you're, you're

00:11:35.020 using people as pawns. It's, it's just disingenuous. And people are going to find that out very,

00:11:40.860 very quickly. And, and frankly, it's exhausting. Like it would be, I could have felt good about

00:11:46.740 yourself. Yeah. No. And, and the amount of work that I do on social media, even though I enjoy it

00:11:53.360 and I'm genuinely trying to serve people is still exhausting. I can't imagine what it would be like,

00:11:58.120 especially with people commenting gross and vile and the comments and the vitriol that I receive from

00:12:05.300 just a very small fraction of a percentage. If I didn't really love what I was doing and see the

00:12:10.520 value in the mission, it would be very difficult to continue over six and a half years. Like we have.

00:12:16.600 Yeah. I could see that. Hmm. All right. Steve, uh, Bumgartner, uh, regarding battle plans. So

00:12:24.620 as you guys know, battle plans, uh, that's part of our kind of objectives and goal setting within the

00:12:30.960 iron council. Like I said, to learn more, uh, come check us out. But, uh, Steve's question is around

00:12:35.580 his battle plan. When your objective is more to accomplish than you thought it would be in a

00:12:41.640 quarter and you fell would best practice dictate a double down approach or repeat it in the following

00:12:47.780 quarter to try and finish up in addition to what you've planned for the next quarter.

00:12:52.740 So here's what a lot of guys will do. They'll mess up or they'll fail or they'll fall short.

00:12:56.860 And I had a good podcast, uh, two or three weeks ago on the relationship with failure. So

00:13:01.580 if you don't like that word, or you get a little tingle up your spine or a little cringe, when I say

00:13:05.480 fail, go listen to that podcast. Cause I think it's going to frame it in a good way for you.

00:13:10.160 Uh, and so they'll, they'll, uh, they'll go to work on an objective and then they'll fail.

00:13:15.860 They'll fall short of the objective. And then what they do is they, like he said, double down on it

00:13:25.620 and they just go harder. Like I failed on this thing. So I'm just going to do it harder. Well,

00:13:31.040 hold on. If you're doing the wrong things and you're doing it harder, you're only going to

00:13:37.080 magnify your failure. Yeah. Like you're not going to improve if you're doing the wrong tactic

00:13:41.920 and you're like, Oh, well, I just, I just need to do it harder than that. Okay. Then you're just

00:13:46.140 going to accelerate your failure failing. So you, you, you should, if you're falling short on your

00:13:52.040 battle plan, go back to the drawing board and really ask yourself, what is going on? Like,

00:14:00.520 why is it that I'm not hitting my objective? Is it because it's too lofty? Are my tactics not working?

00:14:09.240 Do I not have a mentor or the right information? Is it a lack of discipline? Is it a lack of motivation?

00:14:14.880 Is it a lack of experience or connections? And, and to go back to the marketing thing,

00:14:21.140 if it's a lack of connections that aren't producing the result, then you can stop chasing the wrong

00:14:26.240 thing. You can go back and say, Oh, okay. Well, the first step then is building a network.

00:14:29.960 And so you reevaluate your tactic to something, maybe more of a first principle tactic, like is

00:14:35.080 establishing the network and then adding value and then asking of them. So you just, you need to

00:14:41.620 analyze at that point. So I can't tell you, yeah, just double down on it. I actually don't know,

00:14:46.500 unless I know specifically what your tactic is and what a result you're experiencing. I don't know,

00:14:50.560 but I do know that if you're not hitting your objectives, the first step is to figure out why

00:14:56.280 and then adjust your strategy accordingly.

00:15:00.520 Copy, copy. All right. Jason Smith, this is kind of a large, long question, but I think there's some,

00:15:06.700 some good stuff in here for, for our listeners. So Jason Smith,

00:15:10.460 how would you prioritize liabilities and costs? My job has made me less and less fulfilled in

00:15:16.380 last few years, as well as continue to try to take away my sovereignty. He's an ER nurse in

00:15:22.940 California. I'm currently working to build up a business to get out of my work and it makes me

00:15:27.360 extremely happy. My team and I review retail luxury men's products. The problem is that it has cost me

00:15:33.800 to learn the skill and I didn't have before and cost me to outsource some of those things,

00:15:39.640 just, uh, uh, things. I just don't know how to do in an effective way. I've tried to take it all

00:15:45.360 on, on my own, but it, it was not making money until I filled those gaps. I have a lot of debt from

00:15:51.260 going to school and poor choices I've made during a young marriage. Now I'm having to pay large tax

00:15:56.720 fees. I wonder what to put first and how would you recommend digging out? My idea now is to put all I

00:16:04.040 can to build the business and stay afloat elsewhere, everywhere else, until we become more profitable

00:16:09.580 and I can use the extra income to take large pieces of debt off.

00:16:14.800 Yeah. The simple answer is you can't save your way to abundance.

00:16:18.060 Like there's no way you can save yourself to wealth. Yeah. So what a lot of people will do

00:16:24.580 is they'll say, well, you know, I'm going to cut out the Starbucks and I'm going to save

00:16:27.840 three bucks a day times 30 days. And it's probably more than five times 30, you know? So you're,

00:16:34.900 you're saving 150 bucks a month. Like, what are you going to do with $150 a month?

00:16:40.420 I mean, it's a good, I'm not, I'm not dismissing that that that's good. $150 that could be applied

00:16:45.180 towards debt reduction, or you can put that into an investment. There's a lot of different things

00:16:49.080 you can do with that. So I'm not completely dismissing it, but are you chasing, uh, here's

00:16:55.480 how I say it. You're tripping over dollars to pick up dimes, right? So a lot of guys are like, yeah,

00:17:01.120 I'm just going to cut out the Starbucks and then I'm going to save 150 bucks a month.

00:17:04.140 Or alternatively, you could spend more time figuring out how to sell something and you can make an extra

00:17:10.740 grand this month. Yeah. And you can keep your Starbucks and you're still netting $850 a month

00:17:16.540 more. So are you an abundance mentality or are you scarcity mentality? And sometimes actually being

00:17:23.420 in a scarcity mentality is not always bad. If resources are finite, then you got to be scarce

00:17:31.460 and you have to plan and you, right. And so you have a lot of these like macho guys, like, Oh, like

00:17:36.140 abundance and scarce, like never be, well, okay, well, hold on. Like, I'm not telling you to be

00:17:40.860 reckless with your budget. You should still know where every dollar is going and know how it's being

00:17:45.020 spent and looking at how much interest you're paying and what's the best strategy for paying

00:17:49.220 it off. But at some point you need to move from living, you know, that, that, that kind of life

00:17:55.960 and then move into a level of abundance, which says, okay, what, what do I need to sell?

00:18:00.280 Well, what, what value do I need to add? I mean, it's really easy to make a thousand dollars a

00:18:06.840 month, guys. Like please, it is easy to make a thousand dollars a month. Well, Ryan, you don't

00:18:12.380 know my situation. I don't need to know your situation. I could go get a job right now at

00:18:17.940 McDonald's or Burger King in addition to order of man. And I could work probably what five, 10 hours a

00:18:23.920 week and make a thousand bucks. Well, that's, Oh, I wouldn't ask beneath me. Is it though? Like

00:18:29.860 to make a thousand extra dollars, you wouldn't do that. If that's what you needed to get debt paid

00:18:35.060 off or to learn how to invest or to learn a marketing strategy, you could go into your,

00:18:39.240 your garage right now. And you could pull out all your old tools, old exercise equipment,

00:18:45.940 random furniture. You don't need any more books. And you can have a yard sale this weekend and you

00:18:52.000 could make a grand or two couple of TVs. You can make a grand or two like that. Yeah. So let's stop

00:18:58.380 worrying so much about like, Oh, where's this penny going to go? And where's this dime going to go?

00:19:03.520 And really start thinking about the value that we can add into life and, and build that up. And it's,

00:19:09.100 and it's, it takes time. Sure. But exponentially a thousand dollars turns into 1200, which then turns

00:19:14.900 into 1800 and then it's 2700 and then, you know, and so on and so forth. But that's only if at some

00:19:20.780 point you make the pivot from living in the, in, in the slums in your mind or deciding that I'm

00:19:26.460 actually going to create and build wealth in my life. Totally. I had, I used to have this

00:19:31.300 conversation all the time in my, in my own mind and as well as with my wife, when I was a consultant

00:19:38.960 on my own, you know, I, I had my own consulting firm for like 15 years and constantly you would

00:19:44.020 have those conversations of like, you know, saving, you know, like, Oh, we should do this and quit our

00:19:49.300 budget. And I had to always counter it with, or I could just spend a little bit more time on

00:19:55.480 marketing and get way more cashflow. You know what I mean? And it, it, sometimes it was a little

00:20:00.940 negative because I'm like, well, I need to do both. Right. But it was all the answer always was

00:20:06.980 actually, if I just increased cashflow a little bit, the amount of money, like I could save,

00:20:14.080 I could make way more money than I could save. Totally. If I just slightly adjusted something,

00:20:20.080 sold another project for the month or, or whatever. And it was always, the answer was,

00:20:24.500 it always seemed in my mind anyway, was cashflow, baby, just bump up that cashflow a little bit

00:20:30.220 more, sell a different product. You know what I mean? Get a larger project going or whatever.

00:20:35.400 And it was, that was always better than saving, you know, now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying

00:20:40.400 you shouldn't save, like you said, but it's a conversation I had all the time. It's like that

00:20:45.540 old couponing thing. You know, people would spend countless hours couponing to save 50 cents on a can

00:20:50.560 of Campbell's soup. It's like, or like you said, you can go sell something. Like selling something

00:20:56.820 is way more valuable, not only because you're going to make more net doing that, but you're

00:21:01.440 actually adding real value in the world. And there's something to be said for that. You may

00:21:05.500 not even be able to totally quantify that, but there's a lot of value that you can add. And then

00:21:10.220 your mindset shifts. But also to your point, you know, if, if, uh, if you have a, uh, a hole in your

00:21:17.280 boat, it doesn't matter how much stuff you bring onto your boat. Like at some point you're going

00:21:23.340 to sink. So, and a lot of guys do this, like a lot of people who come across wealth or their

00:21:29.160 business blows up for whatever reason, but they have poor savings habits and poor financial habits.

00:21:34.980 They're just going to, again, it goes back to you. You're just going to fail harder and faster.

00:21:40.360 Yeah. What I like about that, Ryan is what's the problem. It's the habits, the problem,

00:21:44.440 because like, I mean, don't get me wrong. That's not ideal, but the habit of getting in debt,

00:21:49.960 that's, what's going to kill you because that means you're going to increase cashflow and you're 0.98

00:21:53.720 going to keep spending that on crap. You don't own that. You're just lending against, you know, 0.99

00:21:58.920 and getting in more and more in debt. If you don't fix that habit.

00:22:02.920 And there's one other conversation here that I think needs to be had. Cause a lot of guys will

00:22:06.200 start side businesses and they'll, you know, they'll work to grow a new business or something.

00:22:10.340 And they're wondering how long they should be in it before they throw in the towel.

00:22:14.440 There's really a couple of metrics. One is, are you still interested in it?

00:22:18.380 Yeah. Because if it's something, not even a passion, but there's just still something there.

00:22:23.020 There's still some itch that needs to be scratched. If you become indifferent to it,

00:22:28.220 which is different than being uncomfortable or being in discomfort. Yeah.

00:22:33.680 Everybody's uncomfortable. You know, I'm uncomfortable a lot of days, even doing this

00:22:36.780 business, which I love, but there's still an itch that needs to be scratched for me. So I can still

00:22:42.380 go out and do it. But if I became indifferent to it at some point, which is the way I was getting

00:22:46.980 my financial planning practice, that's a pretty good indicator that something is definitely off.

00:22:52.140 So, so that's one. But, but the other thing is like, I can't tell you, you have to do it for 12

00:22:57.900 months. And if you're not cash flowing after, I don't know, I don't know what the number is.

00:23:02.160 I don't know what your business is, but you really, again, investment. Yeah.

00:23:07.380 Yeah, exactly. You need to find people who are succeeding in the way that you would like to be

00:23:13.280 succeeding and you need to hire them. You need to get them to advise you. You need to add value to

00:23:18.820 their lives. You need to surround yourself. You need to go conferences and buy their courses and

00:23:22.620 join their organizations and get their emails because those people who are doing what it is you

00:23:28.520 want to be doing are going to give you a better idea of how long you need to be in the game.

00:23:32.880 Like, for example, if I wanted to climb Mount Everest, which I don't, that isn't really a thing

00:23:37.680 of mine, but if I wanted to do that, yeah, I wouldn't just go like this weekend. I would find

00:23:45.260 people who have climbed Mount Everest. I would ask them how they did it. I would hire them to see if

00:23:49.900 they'll take me up there and do it. I would talk with locals. I would see where people failed and

00:23:55.460 where they didn't and what are the challenges. And that's what I would do because I would want

00:24:00.840 to succeed in my mission. But if I just went out there on my own, I would die. Literally, I would

00:24:04.660 die. So you got to find the right mentors and people in your life and information, man. I was

00:24:12.480 consuming podcast after podcast, after podcast, book, after book, after book, course, after course,

00:24:17.040 after course. Now, at some point you have to actually apply it. There's that learning phase needs

00:24:21.980 to be into the application phase, but yeah, you got to find people who are already doing it and not

00:24:26.980 be so much of a lone wolf or live on an Island because you're right. You won't know. How would

00:24:32.880 you know if you've never done it before? You've never gone down that path. You don't know what it

00:24:36.300 looks like. You don't want to know what trail to walk. You don't know what pitfalls or what rocks you

00:24:40.780 could trip on. So maybe somebody else does and just offer them money or whatever, you know,

00:24:47.920 money mostly to, to coach you. Like that's a valuable investment.

00:24:52.640 Yeah. And those guys, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, it feels as though like people, people want

00:24:57.680 to help too, you know, like they're, they're interested in that, you know, they do, but here's,

00:25:02.900 here's a trap that you have to be aware of. Don't waste their time is what you're saying.

00:25:05.140 Yeah. Yeah. Because like, for example, I'll get emails every day at this point from people who will

00:25:10.620 say, you know, can I take you for a coffee? Can I pick your brain? Hey, I have this really weird,

00:25:15.500 obscure question. What would you do? I just don't have time to answer that, but I will tell you that

00:25:21.420 about 99.9% of the questions that I'm asked, I I've answered in a podcast, in the book.

00:25:30.280 Yeah. So they're just being lazy in, from your perspective, you know, by asking, it's like,

00:25:35.600 Oh, do you even follow me? Yeah. I mean, it might be lazy. Um,

00:25:40.460 I've matured a little bit in that thinking, you know, I used to say, well, they're just being lazy 1.00

00:25:45.180 assholes. Maybe that, that could be one reason they're doing it. Um, it could be a bit of 0.99

00:25:49.920 ignorance. And I say that with no ill intent, like they just don't know, maybe they're new to what

00:25:53.760 we're doing. Um, or maybe they just want to be heard. You know, I think that's a, that's a thing

00:25:59.220 like people, people don't have other people in their lives. Like when I was coaching youth sports,

00:26:04.140 it was, it was a little disheartening how few fathers would actually help me with their own

00:26:10.960 children coach, coach the team. And, you know, they came up with all the reasons in the world,

00:26:16.400 but at the end of the day, like they weren't there for their kids. And so these kids, I was like a

00:26:22.100 real strong male presence in their life. And that was kind of sad, but that's the reality for people.

00:26:27.560 A lot of people who reach out, you know, my dad wasn't around. I'm a young kid. My parents are this

00:26:32.980 and that, like, I don't, they don't have anywhere else to turn. And, and so a lot of these people,

00:26:37.440 I think they just want to be heard. And I, and I, I can respect that. I still don't have a ton of

00:26:43.300 time to hit everybody one-to-one. Uh, but, but I'm trying to be a little bit more gracious in the

00:26:48.740 way that I view people and not jump to the conclusion that they're being lazy assholes that 0.99

00:26:52.420 some of them might be for sure. If you've been around for seven years, uh, and you're asking me 0.98

00:26:57.580 questions that you've been asking for seven years. Yeah. Stop being lazy. And like, at some point

00:27:02.560 go back through the archives and figure it out or invest, like stop being cheap, invest in the iron

00:27:08.220 council, invest in my book, invest in a course. I release invest in coming to one of the events

00:27:13.300 that we put on. Yeah. But there's other reasons why they may not do that too. I like it. All right.

00:27:20.120 Peter Boyd, as part of my Q4 battle plan, I'm going to be losing 15 pounds for the quarter.

00:27:26.860 Do you have any eating plans that you would recommend keto versus other micro eating plans?

00:27:33.520 And you wreck, I don't, I don't get into that too much because here's what we do.

00:27:39.860 We look for the, the 10% of the solution with while we skip over the 90% of the solution.

00:27:46.220 Yeah. Like you're still pounding a soda. That's the nature of this question. Like

00:27:52.020 is what, what's the 10% solution for the 90% result I'm looking at. Okay. So let's take this.

00:27:59.620 If you're a hundred pounds overweight, and I don't know how overweight he is, but let's say if you're

00:28:03.960 a hundred pounds overweight, 15 pounds, just stop eating after seven o'clock. You'd be fine.

00:28:11.060 If you want to lose 15 pounds and you're a hundred pounds overweight, just cut out soda.

00:28:15.840 I could lose 15 pounds.

00:28:17.240 It's not, it's so we all could, I mean, for the most part, like most of us could.

00:28:23.340 Yeah. And, and so it's not, you already know, you, you know, like you don't have to worry about

00:28:27.920 keto and paleo and like carnivore and all this stuff. Like, you know, who needs to worry about

00:28:35.020 that? A guy like Matthew Arrington. Yeah. That's like, and let me tell you body fat and he's still

00:28:41.640 trying to shred more. Yeah. He has, well, he's trying to build muscle because he wants to fight a

00:28:46.520 heavyweight, like a true heavyweight. Okay. He's already got the 95 dialed. He's already there.

00:28:54.760 So now he's working on the 5% that most people will never get to. And that's fine. Like I don't 0.56

00:28:59.480 have the same ambition with that, that Matthew does. And so I don't need to worry about that.

00:29:03.660 Now podcasting. Yeah. I'm going to worry about the five to 10% because the 90, I got dialed, man.

00:29:09.280 I'm dialing the 90%. So what little adjustments, little tweaks can we make that other organizations

00:29:14.900 can't or won't or don't that will get us the rest of the way there. But right now, if you're like,

00:29:20.200 I just want to lose 15 pounds, I really wouldn't like keto this, that here's what I would do.

00:29:25.940 Very simply. I'd cut out processed sugar. I would stop eating after seven o'clock

00:29:32.700 and I would drink a boatload of water and I would exercise every day. Now, some of you will say,

00:29:39.920 well, right. That's keto mixed with intermittent fasting. Yeah. Maybe by definition, maybe if

00:29:46.560 you're shortening your eating window, you're cutting out processed sugar. Yeah. Maybe you

00:29:50.640 can wrap a label around it. I don't care about the label. I just care about the right behavior,

00:29:54.700 which is what we were talking about earlier. So just do those four things again, stop eating after

00:29:59.360 seven o'clock at night. That just shortens your eating window. And there's other benefits to

00:30:04.100 intermittent fasting, um, cut out processed sugar. Cause you know, all that stuff's bad for you.

00:30:08.880 Like there's no research that you need or data or support. Like we know processed sugar is not

00:30:13.340 right. Um, drink a boatload of water. Cause we know that's great for the body. Again,

00:30:20.060 you don't need research or science to back that up at this point anymore. Uh, and then exercise.

00:30:24.920 Well, Ryan, what exercise should I do? CrossFit? Should I do power lifts? What are you doing now?

00:30:29.080 Nothing. Okay. Then why not just go for a run or a walk or a hike around the field for 45 minutes

00:30:35.020 today? And then tomorrow, you know, maybe you just work on some deadlifts. And then the next day,

00:30:41.240 somebody invites you to go to jujitsu. And then the following day, uh, you're there's a CrossFit gym

00:30:46.240 down the road that you've wanted to try. And so you go to the CrossFit gym, work on the 90,

00:30:50.980 not the 10. And then when you, when and when, when, and if you have the 90% dialed,

00:30:55.340 then come back to us and we'll talk about the 10 or we'll have somebody else come in here and talk

00:30:59.660 about the 10 who's infinitely more qualified than I am to talk about it. You know, Stephen Covey in his

00:31:05.580 seven habits book, one of the habits was first things first. And I used to always, well, and,

00:31:11.520 and it's, and it's obvious that first things first was always about the highest priority,

00:31:15.960 right. In regards to, you know, good, better, best. However, it's interesting. He has used an

00:31:22.280 analogy of rocks, right? Like if you have a bunch of gravel, you fill up a cup and then you try to

00:31:27.620 put a big rock in, it's not going to fit. Right. But if you put the rocks in first, first things

00:31:32.040 first, the important things backfill it with gravel, you can fit it all in. And it's interesting

00:31:37.640 as I'm listening to you, Ryan, I'm like, it's the same principle. First things first, what's the big

00:31:43.040 rock? What gets you there from a physical perspective to reach your goal of 15 pounds?

00:31:48.640 Is it just stop eating sugar and soda? That alone, people have lost 15 pounds just by cutting out

00:31:57.960 sugars, right. And, and soda drinks. And, and, and it's interesting. I've never thought of that

00:32:03.140 principle from that perspective, but I think it's, it's applicable just the same.

00:32:08.220 Well, we also have to remember we're lazy creatures. So let's use that to our advantage.

00:32:12.240 If I have an hour in my day, I'm going to do the one thing that's the easiest thing that's

00:32:18.660 going to yield the greatest result. That might be a bit of laziness. It also might be another word

00:32:23.660 might be efficiency. Yeah. Yeah. So hit those, hit those big rocks first. Yeah. That's a great

00:32:30.320 example for sure. All right. You got it, Peter. Do you think of that yourself, Kip? The rock thing,

00:32:34.300 man, that's amazing. I would love to say yes, but there's too much research online. Everyone knows

00:32:39.480 I distilled that from someone else. All right. What else we got? All right. Brandon Stoll,

00:32:44.760 would love to hear your and Kip's answers to one of this week's questions on the monthly topic from

00:32:50.220 the iron council. Our battle team solar had a great conversation this morning about our childhoods.

00:32:56.180 The question, what major lessons did you learn about life as a child? Have you, have they remained

00:33:02.920 true to you as you've grown up? Yeah. I don't know without thinking too much about

00:33:09.460 this. So I'll have to put more thought into it. And that's actually the point of the assignment is

00:33:13.560 that you ponder and you think about it. And then you go to your battle team meeting and you've

00:33:17.480 already thought about it for a week. And then you can articulate a well-defined and thoughtful answer.

00:33:22.300 For me, I learned a couple of things that stand out. Actually, here's one that stands out to me.

00:33:28.040 My stepfather, one of my stepfathers said, and we had a rough relationship, but there's a few

00:33:33.640 things that he really taught me. He was very athletic, really liked sports. And so he made sure that I got

00:33:39.140 involved in sports and taught, actually taught me some good lessons. And one of the lessons he taught

00:33:43.100 me when I was playing baseball, gosh, I must've been, I don't know, 13, 12, 13 years old and playing

00:33:49.360 baseball. And he said, Hey, Ryan, you know what? Whenever you step foot over that line, you run

00:33:55.980 everywhere. And he was talking about the first base and third baseline. He's like, you can walk

00:34:00.960 outside of those lines, but when you step foot over that line, you run everywhere.

00:34:06.000 And that has stuck with me. That that's a lesson to me about turning it on. Like when it's time to

00:34:13.660 go, it's time to go. There is no messing around. There's no lollygagging. There's no dinking around.

00:34:20.640 There's no, you know, turning around or playing in the, in the, in the baseball field with the

00:34:24.840 dandelions. Like it's go time. So wherever you go, you're going a hundred miles an hour. You're running

00:34:30.120 everywhere. That was one lesson that really stood out. And I, I attribute a lot of the success that

00:34:35.920 we've had with my financial planning practice and with order of man, with just the hustle that comes

00:34:41.520 with it. You know, I, I, I'm moving, I'm emailing, I'm reaching out, I'm making connections. I'm trying

00:34:47.540 to add value. I've got this going on. I'm doing an event here. And that's so crucial to me. And

00:34:52.960 that's why we're having at least in part the success that we are. That's, that's a big lesson

00:34:58.320 that really stood out to me. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I, uh, one thing comes to mind and I should

00:35:05.480 have thought about this as well. Um, maybe a little bit more, but, um, you know, listen to you. I, I

00:35:10.900 think I had, uh, I moved away from my father when I was in third grade and, and my parents, although

00:35:19.460 they never divorced were kind of living away from each other, kind of quasi separated the majority of

00:35:25.560 my life. And I remember one of my brothers, he was always playing with us, like me and my, me and my

00:35:35.900 brother, that's just right above us. He would always like include us in things and always kind of like

00:35:41.420 fatherly towards us. And I remember asking him, um, it was probably early high school. Once I was a

00:35:49.700 little bit more mature, uh, to ask this type of question, but I said, you know, like, why,

00:35:54.960 why were you always that way? You know, always kind of taking care of us. Like he would make sure

00:35:58.900 that we'd say nightly prayers together. And he did all these things. And he said, because I wanted to

00:36:05.320 make sure that when I got older, I was going to be a good dad. And so I thought I'd use you and Brian

00:36:11.920 as like my trial, my test, you know, and it really taught me that lesson of intentionality,

00:36:20.340 right. That, that becoming a good father or being good at anything just, isn't going to just show up

00:36:24.900 when we get there. And he had the mindset early on as a young man of like, Hey, I want to be a good dad.

00:36:31.240 How do I make sure I become one? And he thought, Oh, well I'll use Kip as a Guinea pig

00:36:35.700 and I'll, and I'll try to do what I think a father should do for him. You know? And of course I

00:36:41.820 reaped the benefits of that, you know, as a young man at the same time. Yeah. And he did. And his

00:36:46.880 children have, and like, for sure. Yeah. That's amazing. And he's a great father. Great father.

00:36:51.940 I mean, no doubt. If he's thinking about it at that age, like there's no doubt.

00:36:56.640 Totally. And I have to remind his kids, Hey, your dad's great because he screwed up on me first.

00:37:01.860 So you guys owe me. Yeah. That's awesome, man. That's really cool. I remembered another one as

00:37:09.220 you were saying that. So my same, same stepfather, um, one day he might part of my job was to mow the

00:37:15.480 lawn and we had a pretty sizable lawn with a push mower. And so that was part of my job. And I

00:37:19.440 actually, I've always enjoyed push mower with the blade. No, I mean, no, it was like it was gas

00:37:24.540 powered, but okay. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of like a writing lawnmower or something. Yeah. I was

00:37:29.100 going, I was going old school, like eight to 50. He gave me scissors and I mowed the lawn with

00:37:34.620 scissors. Yeah. Sorry. Okay. So part of my job was to, to mow the lawn. And, and, and what I was

00:37:40.400 saying is I've always enjoyed mowing the lawn. I like it. Like it's therapeutic for me in a way.

00:37:45.260 Anyways, there was, there was a hole and it must've been, I don't know, maybe a foot,

00:37:49.140 a circumference and then maybe, uh, like a foot deep or so. And I think one of the dogs had dug up the

00:37:55.000 hole. And, and he said, Hey, when you go out and mow the lawn this weekend, I need you to go out to

00:37:59.920 the back of the lawn and just cut a piece of sod and fill that hole in with dirt. Cause we had a,

00:38:05.720 like a dirt portion of our yard too. So get some dirt from out there, bring it in and then cut a

00:38:11.240 piece of grass, put it over top and level it out, smooth it out and like, make it look good just to

00:38:15.560 replace the hole. I said, okay, yeah, I'll do that. And so I mowed the lawn and then I'm like,

00:38:20.960 so tired and hot and I didn't want to do it. And he said, Hey, uh, or, or I went, I went back and

00:38:27.860 got the, like the piece of grass. I cut out from the back property and brought it up. And instead

00:38:32.300 of filling in the hole with dirt, I just like threw it in there, like the grass in there. So

00:38:37.100 it was like dipped, you know, where the hole was. And I put everything away and went inside and he's

00:38:42.360 like, Hey, did you, uh, did you fill that hole? And I said, yeah, I filled it. He's like, okay,

00:38:46.800 let's go look. And I'm like, Oh, as soon as he said, let's go look. Um, I was like, my heart

00:38:53.380 dropped. Cause I knew, you know, what I had done. I had shirked that responsibility. So we get out

00:38:59.080 there and he's like, did you just put grass over it? Like you didn't put dirt in it? Like, look,

00:39:05.160 like that's, that's how you're going to do it. And I said, you know, I'm tired or I'm hot or whatever I

00:39:10.080 said. And he didn't really say much, but he did say, he's like, Ryan characters, what you do when nobody

00:39:16.780 is looking. And then he left and that's all, like, that's all that he said to me. And of course he

00:39:24.700 didn't tell me to fix it. He didn't say anything. He just said, characters, what you do when nobody's

00:39:28.400 looking and he left. And of course I, uh, I must've been 12 or 13 years old, maybe 14. And so obviously

00:39:37.400 I fixed it. I did it, did it right. But man, that, that lesson is so powerful. Like it's easy to be

00:39:43.580 good. It's easy to do the right thing when everybody's watching you, when the lights are

00:39:48.500 on and you're on stage and you're supposed to be performing, but that's, that doesn't matter.

00:39:53.480 It matters for sure, but it doesn't matter in comparison to what you do when nobody's watching.

00:39:58.340 Cause that's most of the time, right? 90% of the time is spent with yourself and nobody's going to

00:40:05.120 see, and nobody's there to judge and nobody's there to hold you accountable. And that's when it really

00:40:10.360 matters. What can you perform? Can you have character when nobody's watching? And a lot

00:40:18.380 of us can't, and that's a big hindrance. That's a lot of the reason people aren't performing to the

00:40:24.760 degree they want. And they're lying to themselves. They say, well, I'm doing all the things. Are you

00:40:28.600 though? What are you doing when nobody's watching? What aren't you doing when nobody's watching?

00:40:34.660 That's the difference between the successful and the non-successful.

00:40:37.620 And, and I would argue that if you're, if you're having internal dialogue to explain it,

00:40:43.940 then you're not, you're out of integrity. Otherwise you wouldn't be like, well, I, I think

00:40:50.840 most of us, when we're, when we're not leveled up in that way, we were, we're having internal dialogue

00:40:56.640 to justify the lack of action on our part or lack the behavior. And if you're having to explain it,

00:41:03.040 that like, I even use that in the morning when I don't want to get up and the alarm goes off and

00:41:09.380 it's five 30 and I go, ah, and then, and guarantee this will happen. I'll immediately go, well,

00:41:16.360 I got a long day and I need to get some good rest. Or yesterday was like the minute I started

00:41:22.520 explaining, that is the sign for me to go. You're full of shit Kip. Right. And you're having to explain 1.00

00:41:30.240 it to yourself why you're not doing what you know, you should do. So now whatever I have to,

00:41:35.660 it doesn't matter what it is. If there's anything I'm doing and I start internal dialogue to go,

00:41:40.140 well, the minute I started explaining it, I'm like, yeah, just do it.

00:41:46.520 Exactly. Because that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay being out of

00:41:51.220 integrity. So here's what, here's what I wrote down as you're saying that all of us have a great

00:41:56.740 ability to talk ourselves out of things we know we should be doing. Right. And that's what you're

00:42:00.700 talking about. Justification, excuses, rationalization. So if you can talk yourself

00:42:06.340 out of doing something, then you have the power of talking yourself into doing something.

00:42:12.540 True. But that's hard because it means that you'll have to do it.

00:42:16.260 It's not harder. It really isn't any harder. You know, for example, there's been nights where I'm

00:42:22.180 like, I don't want to go to jujitsu and I'm tired. And I just had an event and I just did this and I

00:42:26.580 did that. And that was my mindset. And then I decided, no, I am going to go because I committed

00:42:32.900 and because it's the right thing to do and because I'll feel better and because I want to improve.

00:42:37.300 And then the decision was easy. It isn't harder. It just takes some more deliberate intentionality

00:42:42.680 about it and shifting the way that you're thinking about things. You know, there's another example.

00:42:48.080 My sons and I, we were cleaning up the barn from an event we had this past weekend. It was an

00:42:53.480 afternoon, evening event because we have our main event coming up this upcoming weekend.

00:42:58.740 And I said, Hey boys, I need you to get out the cleaner and I need you to wipe down all these

00:43:02.560 tables. And my son said to me, why dad, we're just going to put tablecloths on them.

00:43:09.120 And he's, he's not wrong. Like, no. And I said, you're right. You're right. Like,

00:43:13.600 so do we clean because, because people may or may not see it. And he's like, well, I don't know.

00:43:18.520 And so that's not why you clean something. You clean it so that it's clean. It doesn't matter

00:43:23.660 if people are going to see it or not. Like you clean it. That's not the motive for cleaning the

00:43:28.320 table. The motive for the cleaning the table is a couple of different things. Number one, that it's

00:43:32.800 clean. That's important. Number two, because we take pride in the work that we do, no matter how

00:43:38.740 small it is. And you look at all of the 15 tables we have set up and they're all cleaned and washed

00:43:44.660 off and they're white and pristine. Like you can take pride in that. And I said, so yeah,

00:43:49.660 you're right. Nobody's going to see it, but all of us will still know. And even if we don't feel bad

00:43:55.700 about it, we've just allowed ourselves to do less than we're capable of doing. Yep. And, and I say

00:44:02.100 this and it sounds a little hyperbole, like hyperbole, hyperbole, hyperbole, but it's a little bit of

00:44:09.860 your soul dies when you do that. Totally. And, and I know that sounds bigger than it, than it is.

00:44:17.980 It's not like a little bit of your soul dies because your soul is perfect. Like it's, it's divine,

00:44:26.360 right? It's, it's infinite and you're shortchanging your soul. Like you're saying this isn't important

00:44:34.380 and it doesn't matter. And then what, then what happens is you become hardened to it. Yeah. Right.

00:44:40.800 So a little bit of your soul dies. And rather than acknowledging that you're out of integrity and

00:44:44.560 out of character, you become hardened to it. Well, I just do it because anything else is stupid 1.00

00:44:51.420 and it's unnecessary. And then you become hardened to it. And then it becomes easier and easier to 1.00

00:44:58.200 continue to shortchange yourself and let that little bit of your soul slip away every single time.

00:45:02.520 Yeah. You, you've accepted the lesser version of yourself. Exactly. Standard. Yeah. Yeah. I,

00:45:09.740 I feel like I'm in a counseling session and mom, if you're listening, I love you. Um, but one of the

00:45:16.680 things, one of the things I, that just drove me mad as a kid and I created this, I mean, whether it's

00:45:22.900 truth or not, right. It was my creation and my perception, but we, if we had someone coming over

00:45:29.260 to the house, it was like all hands on deck, this house needs to be spick and span. And most kids

00:45:38.440 would have been annoyed by it just because they had to clean or whatever. It bothered me. No joke.

00:45:45.120 It bothered me that that's the reason. Like I was like, well, this is important. Yeah. If this is

00:45:52.440 important, why don't we do this every day? Yeah. Like, why does it have to be only tied as part of

00:45:59.300 a persona of people coming over? And, and unfortunately for my wife, I'd carried that

00:46:05.900 into our marriage. So it like, but it drives me mad. Cause I'm like, well, do you want it clean

00:46:12.280 or do you want to just be perceived as clean? And man, I don't think it's always,

00:46:17.660 always like these perceptions are weird. Yeah. And it always bothered the hell out of me as a kid

00:46:23.240 and even bothers me. Now I get a little trigger, you know, when it's just like, Oh, we got people

00:46:27.560 coming over. Let's clean up. And I'm like, like, well, let me ask you this, you know, Kip. So,

00:46:33.880 all right. Therapy session time. And this actually goes really nice into the iron council. Cause we're

00:46:38.740 talking about creating a legacy. And in the first week, this week, we're talking about our beliefs

00:46:44.660 and worldviews established as a child and why we believe and think the way that we do. And this is

00:46:50.680 one of those experiences, but let me ask you this. So we'll take it from like a religious perspective.

00:46:56.280 When you go to church, do you dress up? Yep. And do you think God is present in your life outside of

00:47:03.140 church? I see where you go with it. Yeah. So yeah. He, you would say yes then. Yep. Totally. So why

00:47:11.800 don't you wear a suit and tie every single day? If he's present in your life a hundred percent of

00:47:16.700 the time. Yeah. And, and I think if my kid was going to, or if I'll just answer the question for

00:47:21.980 you, because by being dressed more appropriately or more formal for church, and it allows me or

00:47:30.480 assists me in having a different mindset on that day, a more special day because the occasion,

00:47:36.620 and here's the funny part. If I asked Asia, like if I was dumb enough to go, Hey, are, is this just 0.90

00:47:43.260 so we look good, but you don't give a crap about the house being cleaned during the week? Now, of course 0.98

00:47:47.980 I want to say that, but if I did, her answer would be, I actually clean, not because I'm worried about

00:47:55.080 perception. I clean as a good host. So it's nice for them. Yeah. And it's my way. It's a sign of respect.

00:48:02.040 Exactly. And that's how she would reply to the answer. And then of course I'd like dog between 0.99

00:48:06.840 my tail between my legs going, uh, okay. You know what I mean? But it's interesting how something

00:48:13.060 like that could be so polarized, be seen so differently by two individuals. And one is a

00:48:20.820 trigger. The other one is just like a kind thing. What's the big deal. Right. Right. Yeah. That

00:48:26.060 perception. Like you were saying earlier, it can be reality, but it doesn't have to be. You can always

00:48:31.980 choose to perceive things differently too. I mean, there's, there's things that I would say that

00:48:35.680 you're like, really, that's stupid. Like what? That's how you look at it. Right. Yeah. We all 1.00

00:48:39.940 just look at everything so differently. And I think what we'd have to ask ourselves is the way that we

00:48:45.620 perceive life or experiences and conversations and situations since, since the perception is, is not

00:48:52.600 100% fact, right? You're not objectively correct Kip. And neither am I by the way, because it might be 0.98

00:48:59.900 a persona. I don't know. Neither one of us are objectively correct. So you're just making it up.

00:49:06.200 So if you're going to make things up about a perception of a situation, why not just assume

00:49:11.180 that it's going to be something that's going to serve you instead of hindering you. All right,

00:49:15.720 Kip, I got interrupted by technology with my thought and I can't even remember what the last thing I said

00:49:20.220 was, but I think we beat a dead horse on that one. So we can move on from here. Okay. Sounds good.

00:49:27.340 All right. Joshua Baker. What can big companies learn from small companies about the benefits of

00:49:33.900 producing domestic product versus outsourcing? Well, I think you're just going to have better

00:49:39.680 buy-in if, if you do that over time, it's, it's, it's definitely a longer game. I think,

00:49:45.360 I don't know. I'm, I'm probably not the best person to ask. Like, I think a better person to ask would

00:49:50.400 be Pete Roberts and Jocko, because this is exactly what they're doing. Uh, but from, from my perspective

00:49:56.460 anyways, and what Pete and I have had as far as a conversation goes. And by the way, we have a

00:50:00.420 podcast coming out, uh, in the next week or two with Pete and we talk about some of this. Uh, but,

00:50:05.320 but I would say that you're going to have buy-in, uh, you're going to be able to employ the people

00:50:11.900 in your community and in your state and in your country. And there's some pride in that. Uh,

00:50:17.780 you're, you're going to have a sense of, of pride in manufacturing things in America. Uh, and also

00:50:25.000 from a business logistical standpoint, we know of the nightmares that are hitting the supply chains right

00:50:30.660 now. And so companies that are relying upon China or these outside, uh, countries for their goods and

00:50:37.680 services are getting halted installed. Uh, and they've let a lot of their sovereignty go right.

00:50:44.460 And they've given it over to China or Pakistan or India or wherever they're getting their products,

00:50:50.020 uh, because it's cheaper. Well, cheap, isn't the only metric for, for, for success. So now they're

00:50:58.360 learning that it's taking longer and, uh, we, we, we can't get the products we need and now it's

00:51:05.280 hurting the bottom line or, or we can get products, but they're more expensive. And so now we don't need

00:51:09.340 to mark up our prices, but we have 8 million people out of work. And so it's, it clearly, clearly,

00:51:17.180 I think the way forward is to learn how to be self-reliant. And that means we manufacture our own

00:51:24.020 goods and services. That means that we, uh, create our own energy and we become less dependent on

00:51:31.640 outside countries and more, uh, independent, uh, on, uh, and independent on what we have going on

00:51:38.840 in this country. And then we can outsource. It just makes us a more powerful country, frankly,

00:51:43.260 as well, if we're exporting, of course, more than we're importing. So yeah, there's a lot of reasons,

00:51:48.820 but again, I'm not the expert on that, but that's where I would start. Okay. Michael Van Ness,

00:51:55.840 uh, when you found yourself in the darkest times, desolate, broken, alone, what keeps you going?

00:52:02.660 So you didn't give up hope. Well, there's always a little bit of hope, right? If you didn't have hope,

00:52:08.880 you wouldn't keep going. So there's always some sort of sliver of hope. And I think we need to cling

00:52:13.200 onto that. Like, what is it that is your little ray of light, your little, your little sliver of

00:52:18.660 hope? Is it that, uh, you can reconcile things in your marriage is that you can improve as a human

00:52:24.560 being or secure a promotion, uh, or lose the weight. What is that little sliver of hope that's

00:52:31.840 keeping you hanging on right now? And how can you magnify it? How can you honor it? So hope is good

00:52:37.420 because it moves us towards action. But if we're just sitting around hoping that things are going to get

00:52:42.060 better, that becomes a problem. So what we need to do instead is honor our hope. And how do you honor

00:52:48.200 it? By acting on it. Right. How do they, for example, and it grows, that's right. Because you're

00:52:54.040 acting on it. So look at it in another context. If I want to honor my marital vows, then I act.

00:53:02.560 I show her through my words and my actions and the way that I show up that I love her and I care about

00:53:07.380 her and that she's important to me and there isn't anybody else. And like, I I'm you,

00:53:12.060 you are, you are it, you know, that's, that's action, right? Uh, if you want to honor your job

00:53:18.000 because you enjoy your job and you find meaning in it, what do you do? You get up early and you

00:53:21.780 get ready for the day and you go into work and you do your job diligently and you don't allow

00:53:26.500 yourself to be distracted and you get the things done you need to do. If you want to honor your

00:53:30.940 covenants with God, like we talked about earlier, you get dressed, you show up, you, you pray daily,

00:53:37.220 you, you read the scripture and you study about him and you try to emulate and live your life as

00:53:42.380 Jesus did. Like, these are the things that you do, but it's based on action. Action. Yeah.

00:53:47.600 And you might not feel like it. And the way you feel about it is actually irrelevant in this case.

00:53:53.280 And it's, it's very easy to not want to do things when you're depressed and you're in despair and

00:53:58.540 desolate and everything you just said, you got to force yourself to do it. You have to.

00:54:03.380 I remember when I went through my separation with my wife, I didn't feel like going out with my

00:54:07.020 friends or picking up new hobbies. And that was very challenging for me, but every time I did,

00:54:11.540 I felt better. I'd go out with my friends and we'd have some great conversations and some laughs,

00:54:16.200 and we'd have some new experiences and some new memories to draw upon. And I felt better.

00:54:20.680 And when I started reading and I started hiring mentors and I started acting in my business and I

00:54:25.120 started to get my weight under control, I felt better. And then as I felt better, I was able to do

00:54:30.200 more and more. And my wife noticed that and people around me noticed that my clients noticed that

00:54:35.400 and, and my results improved. So it's always a metric of action. So honor the hope that you have,

00:54:42.260 whatever it is, and however small it is. I've talked with a lot of people who have been very,

00:54:46.840 very close to suicide or have even attempted suicide. And, and in that moment before, for example,

00:54:54.560 pulling the trigger, and I know that sounds morbid, they thought to themselves, no, I don't,

00:55:00.080 I don't want to do this. This can get better. And the ones who actually got to work, however small

00:55:05.900 it was, are the ones who pulled themselves out of the darkness. Totally. When I think about probably

00:55:12.900 the darkest times in my life and even think about individuals that I know that have, have committed

00:55:18.200 suicide. I think that the determining factor for them would have been the same determining factor

00:55:26.500 that has helped me. And it's really getting present to those that are, are like what the impact would

00:55:35.780 be, you know, like, so when I think about it, like in the, in my past where I've had some struggles,

00:55:41.800 like the number one thing that gave me kind of, where I almost kind of felt like I had no hope left,

00:55:47.120 you know what I mean? And I was almost out of hope. And then the thought is, what am I,

00:55:53.180 what am I two boys going to think? And if I give up, how does that affect them? And that's enough,

00:56:01.720 you know? And, and I really feel like the, the few individuals that I know that, that committed,

00:56:08.660 that have, that have committed suicide, if they were present to their impact on the world

00:56:15.500 and how that decision would have affected their loved ones. I don't, I don't know if they had

00:56:21.360 that in the state of their mind, if they would have made that same action. And so those relying

00:56:26.800 on us, I think is, is something that kind of has gotten me through, you know, dark times in the past

00:56:32.200 where I, where I kind of felt like I didn't have much hope. Yeah. I'm really glad. I think that's

00:56:38.180 valuable. I'm really glad that you shared that. You know, one of the things I've thought about for

00:56:42.280 myself and I've never been to the point where I've ever like seriously considered ending my life.

00:56:48.080 I've, I've never had to deal with that. Fortunately. Um, or serious depression, you know,

00:56:54.160 being down. Yeah, for sure. But to the point where, but here's one of my thoughts and it might

00:56:58.960 sound silly, but it's actually served me well. I'm too stubborn for that shit. 1.00

00:57:03.200 Because if I, if I decide to be depressed or to end my life or to wallow in my own self-pity, 1.00

00:57:11.380 whatever's getting me down wins and that ain't going to happen on my watch. Yeah. And I know I'm

00:57:18.780 not trying to just, I'm not, I'm not even trying to be funny or a hard ass or dismiss the feeling

00:57:24.040 genuinely like, but that's your thought. That's your mind. This is not going to win. This ain't

00:57:28.340 going to beat me. Yeah. No, there's no way. Like I'm not going to be depressed. I'm not going to end

00:57:32.780 my life. Like I have too much to offer. I'm too valuable. I can get over this, whatever this is.

00:57:38.260 And to me, it becomes a challenge. It's like, nah, I'm not playing this game. Yeah. That's I,

00:57:44.180 and I'm just sharing with you a per that's a personal thing, but maybe it helps you. Maybe

00:57:48.600 Kip's approach helps. Maybe it's a combination of the two, maybe it's something completely different

00:57:52.280 and whatever it is, doesn't matter as long as it helps you. Totally. And Ryan,

00:57:57.620 I would assume that is from a place of confidence, right? Like you, you just have some really good

00:58:03.000 confidence. And so when you, when you hit the wall, you're kind of like, oh, oh hell no.

00:58:08.100 Wall's not going to hold me down. Right. Because you, you believe in your ability to overcome

00:58:12.100 or, or do you think it's just like, Hey, I kind of don't believe it, but I'm going to have that

00:58:16.940 mindset and I'm not going to give up. I've never really thought about it that deep. I mean,

00:58:21.080 maybe it's confidence. Maybe I've drawn upon something that I've done in the past.

00:58:25.580 I honestly, I just think it's a personality thing. It's just, I'm stubborn. Like I'm hardheaded

00:58:31.340 and I'm stubborn. And if somebody tells me no, or I come across a situation that's tough

00:58:37.520 or I get rejected or I lose money in my business, I'm like, come on. Like let's, oh, cool. Now we

00:58:43.580 got to fight. Good. This is what I wanted. Yeah. And I don't, I don't know if that's confidence or

00:58:49.120 maybe it's arrogance or maybe it's a personality. I don't know. Yeah. Or, or it could easily be a

00:58:53.560 trigger. I mean, let's be frank. Like when I think about like Goggins, you know, taking souls,

00:58:58.480 you know, it's like, that's a choice, right? Where he's like, no, I am taking souls, you know? And,

00:59:04.460 and, and I, I think I listening to what you're sharing, I'm totally thinking like, Hey, you know,

00:59:10.500 I should have that mindset more often when, when things get tough, go, you know what? No, I'm not,

00:59:15.700 I'm not going to lose to this, you know? And, and I, I, to be frank, I feel fired up right now,

00:59:21.120 just listening to that example. I'm like, man, I should, I should think that way a little bit

00:59:25.180 more often. Yeah. I think it's a choice. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm unbeatable.

00:59:32.600 Yeah. Like there might be a skirmish or a little battle right now that I might lose,

00:59:37.140 you know, in my life, but I'm like, the war has already won. It just hasn't totally come to fruition

00:59:45.020 yet. And I, I end up on top. I already know that. So I got to stay in it. I mean, that's the only way

00:59:52.400 we get there. I got to stay in it. Cause if I, if I let myself out of it, then the, the, the result

00:59:57.260 changes, but I already know I emerged victorious. I just need to get to that point now. Cool.

01:00:04.600 Tyson junkers. How do you get deeper into a competitive mindset? What I mean is if I were

01:00:11.660 to take something like jujitsu, I know I would learn a lot, but would struggle to be a hundred

01:00:16.520 percent committed as I know it's not a real threat. Like when I would face in the real world,

01:00:21.680 it would be like running into a burning building. That is a controlled fire versus my house actually

01:00:26.880 being on fire. I know there will always be a difference between somewhat prepared is a hell of

01:00:32.540 a lot better than not being prepared at all, but I'm looking for ways to build up a competitive drive

01:00:37.780 when I go into those situations. I don't know. Cause I've thought about this with sports,

01:00:48.860 with my, my two oldest boys, uh, in the midst of football right now, some people have a killer

01:00:55.120 mentality, right? Like some people are killers. Like you can see it in their eyes. You can see it in

01:01:03.000 their demeanor and they just want to destroy and other people aren't and not, no, neither of them

01:01:10.600 wrong. Yeah. Other people are thinking about the other person and like, or, or this is not one's

01:01:16.180 just thinking win. Yeah. Just not even win destroy. Yeah. Like, I don't want to win. I want to run up

01:01:24.740 the score and I want to demolish your, like, like Goggins taking souls. Like I want to take your soul. 0.99

01:01:30.820 Like, I want to beat you so bad, but that again, is that personality? Probably a little bit 0.99

01:01:37.640 personality, but also with jujitsu, like, so here's what I'd say. Find something that motivates you

01:01:44.720 like jujitsu. The only reason you do jujitsu is not. So you, if you find yourself in a street fight

01:01:50.380 that you could defend yourself. I mean, part of the reason you do jujitsu is because

01:01:56.360 physical fitness and doing hard things and helping your mentality. And I've always been intentional.

01:02:03.480 Like if I'm going to go in and do something, so let's say somebody shows me a, uh, uh, in jujitsu

01:02:08.740 shows me a submission, for example, like, I'm not going to like dance around it and be like, Oh,

01:02:15.380 cute. And then this, and then like, Oh, get 80% of it. Right. No, I'm going to be a student of it.

01:02:20.500 Yeah. Oh, he puts his foot here. His ankle turns this way. His wrist is this way. His position is

01:02:26.560 this way. He's baiting them here. Here's the timing, like get down into it. And for somebody

01:02:33.320 who's maybe more of an analytical person, that's actually where jujitsu can be very good. Like you

01:02:38.860 take your nerdy analytical type guys, and they could be very, very deadly at jujitsu because they

01:02:44.600 like that, like intricacy and nuance that most people overlook. And then they find something to

01:02:51.280 pride themselves on, you know? So I, I, I like that part of it. I want to go all in and I want

01:02:57.240 to be so good. Um, when you're, when I remember in high school, when I would run routes like receiver

01:03:04.760 routes, you know, you see guys who were like, they'll run at 80% and then they'll kind of round

01:03:10.420 out their corners or they'll kind of slow and speed up. No, a hundred percent sharp corners,

01:03:17.200 sharp turns, abrupt stop, go fast, a hundred miles an hour, because I'm not good enough at anything

01:03:24.000 to be half-assed on it. Like the only way that I can be competitive against people

01:03:30.080 is to go a hundred percent. Cause I know not everybody else is going to go a hundred percent.

01:03:35.640 Unless you're like me, right? There are guys like that, but not everybody's going to go that way.

01:03:39.980 And 90% of people don't 80% they're comfortable with. I don't know. I would just say, fine,

01:03:45.540 find a way to make it compelling so that you're like all in. What do you, Kip, do you think you

01:03:51.780 have that killer? Like I want to destroy, or do you have a different personality?

01:03:56.880 Not by default. Um, I actually, and I, I think it's a lack of presence to be honest. So I think

01:04:06.000 basketball or jujitsu as an example, when I first started doing jujitsu, what am I thinking about

01:04:10.960 when I'm rolling with someone? Well, I, you know, I don't want to be a dick, you know, I, I, oh, I 0.70

01:04:15.580 don't want to smack, you know, oh, what are they thinking? Oh, Hey, what's, what's happening over 0.98

01:04:19.640 there? I'm not competitive. Why? Cause I'm not focused on the thing that I'm doing. Right. Same

01:04:27.360 thing with basketball. Oh, I'm playing basketball. Am I trying to win? Or am I concerned about what

01:04:32.160 people are thinking in the stands? Am I concerned about how I look? Am I concerned about my team?

01:04:37.900 Right. And I'm way too, I think way too much that all that stuff will prevent me from being highly

01:04:44.040 competitive. And, and, and to the point that you're making earlier, the benefit of jujitsu

01:04:50.820 really, in my opinion, is not like real world fighting scenario. It's being present in the moment

01:04:57.680 and the benefits that you get, uh, being calm in the, in the moment of a storm, that's the benefit.

01:05:04.280 And in this example for Tyson's figured out how to be competitive and to actually turn off all the

01:05:10.900 noise and be present in the moment. And, and I have found that in jujitsu where I can be a hundred

01:05:16.860 percent highly competitive, block everything out and be fully present. But it, it has taken

01:05:25.080 repetition and constant training to be able to get to that point where it's okay for me to be that way.

01:05:32.320 It's okay for me to go all out. It's okay for me to go with a training partner and go a hundred

01:05:38.660 percent with and not hold back whatsoever. It took time for me to figure out that it's, oh, that's okay.

01:05:46.080 But, but my natural tendency is not to be that way. Right. Because I'm, I'm think I'm too thoughtful

01:05:52.460 or whatever excuse or whatever I want to come up with. I'm thinking about all these other things

01:05:57.080 at the same time. I like it. You know, and there's another thing I think here at the,

01:06:02.540 at the root of this as well is there's a lot of people who don't care about their performance.

01:06:07.060 Um, they're just okay with mediocrity and just getting by. Um, and I'm actually not okay with

01:06:11.700 that. Yeah. Here's the word that came to mind. I wrote it down because it's powerful excellence.

01:06:17.620 I want to be, I want to strive for excellence in everything. Yeah. Right. So if I go to jujitsu,

01:06:29.000 am I going to show up late? Um, am I going to kind of dink around and no intent, or am I going to watch

01:06:35.100 a YouTube video or pull up a book and say, okay, well, I'm going to study that move and I'm going

01:06:39.100 to work on that move. And then I'm going to have, uh, I'm going to, I'm going to hydrate my body before

01:06:43.960 class. I don't eat before jujitsu because then I feel like I'm going to throw up, but that was a

01:06:48.300 little experiment of, of excellence. Like I don't want to throw up. I don't, I want to be, I want to

01:06:53.420 be lean with an empty stomach, hydrated, ready to go. And then when I'm done, then I can eat

01:06:57.960 like excellence. Right. The reason Kip, think about our podcast. Like we, we invested in these

01:07:06.380 microphones because that was a way to improve and to make it excellent. When I'm mowing the lawn,

01:07:12.320 I want straight lines, exactly straight. As long as the field is straight. And if it's not,

01:07:20.180 I do it again because it's not excellent. It needs to be excellent. When my boys and I are,

01:07:26.680 they're crying and whining about cleaning off the tables. No, we clean them off because it's

01:07:32.460 excellent. I went in there last night. This is going to sound psychotic. I went in there last night

01:07:37.720 into the barn and we've had so many flies in there just over the past couple of weeks. I don't want

01:07:42.060 flies in there. I killed 35 flies in the barn last night. One by one, just picking them off.

01:07:47.140 It's a big barn.

01:07:48.840 One by one. That's because I killed 200 earlier and I have fly traps and everything in the barn.

01:07:54.740 And I went and killed 35 flies in that barn last night, one by one. And I marched around the barn.

01:08:00.580 Why? Because excellence. I don't want flies buzzing around me or my guest heads when we're in there

01:08:05.960 trying to have a meaningful discussion. And some of you hear that and you're like,

01:08:09.740 that's psychotic. And maybe it is, but maybe that's why we achieve excellence. Maybe that's

01:08:17.100 why we are where we are because excellence in all things.

01:08:21.760 Yeah. That's interesting because I do think I have that mentality in certain areas,

01:08:27.560 but one that I definitely do is, and it's around physical things. I will not give up.

01:08:32.960 Mostly when it has to do with physical things. Right. When I think I told you like that bike race,

01:08:39.060 Asia, Asia even knew it. She goes, Oh, I knew once you did one leg, you wanted, you would not finish

01:08:46.780 the race. Right. And she's right. Like the minute I got on the damn bike, I even knew it. I started

01:08:51.500 going and I remember thinking in my mind, like, Oh, I'll see how it goes. And then I immediately followed

01:08:56.540 up with, no, I'm not stopping. You know what I mean? I'm not giving up and I'm going to push my,

01:09:02.960 my body through this and I'm not going to give up. But I don't know if it's the same mentality as not

01:09:08.660 giving up versus excellence, but it's interesting because like in other areas I could see where I

01:09:13.840 might have internal dialogue and not show up that way. But when it comes to like physical challenges

01:09:19.200 for whatever reason, I, I kind of get extra competitive, you know, in those instances.

01:09:26.360 Yeah. Oh yeah. No, I know. Cause you have something to push against. And, um, I don't know. I I've never

01:09:31.700 seen you be anything but that in other facets of life, your intensity changes. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

01:09:39.220 Right. Like your intensity when you and I are, are training on the mats is different than the

01:09:44.140 conversation we're having here, but, but the, the result is the same is to be the best that you can

01:09:50.340 be. Yeah. That's interesting. Hmm. All right. Let's take one. Okay. Tyler, uh, Tyler, Doc Dykes,

01:09:59.440 Ryan and Kip, what are your recommendations for someone who is stuck in limbo? I have a soldier with,

01:10:05.140 with less than a year left on his contract and plans to get out. He feels that he has an obligation to

01:10:09.920 himself and his country to finish his contract. Although he also feels that he's just waiting

01:10:14.900 for time to pass by with the military winding down and moving into peacetime operations.

01:10:20.340 This soldier has shown fantastic initiative and has been working to improve himself from day one.

01:10:25.720 But now I have noticed a slight decrease in his performance and demeanor. Any thoughts and advice

01:10:31.620 that my soldier might greatly appreciate? I'm looking for something unconventional. Thank you in advance.

01:10:37.400 Yeah. So we, we have to be careful of abrupt, abrupt starts and stops, right? Like think if you're

01:10:46.860 rolling up to one joke I play on my kids is when we pull into the driveway at the house, like I'll

01:10:52.240 pull in slow and then I'll get like kind of close to my parking spot and I'll slam on the brakes really

01:10:57.020 hard. And my kids like lunge forward and they always get mad. Dad, stop doing that. And it's funny.

01:11:02.140 But think of, think about why they don't like that. It's like this abrupt, painful, scary,

01:11:09.820 jerky stop. It's uncomfortable, right? Yeah. Yeah. And what, so what do you do when you roll up to a

01:11:16.960 stop sign? You roll up to a stop sign. You don't slam on your brakes when you get like within five

01:11:22.760 feet of the stop sign, you start slowing down, you know, a hundred yards or whatever before it.

01:11:29.140 And then you make this gradual, slow stop. It's the same thing with taking off, you know,

01:11:34.880 you, on a plane, you take off and you grab, you get air, you get air and it's bumpy and it's

01:11:39.200 turbulent and it's, it's not fun. And then you get up to cruising altitude and you're good. You're at

01:11:44.100 maximum speed. You're, you're high enough where you can get rid of most of that turbulence. And then

01:11:48.640 you come down and what do you do? You, the flaps come up or down, whatever it is. I don't know.

01:11:52.100 Uh, and the plane slows down and ideally you don't want to slam in the ground. Like we all have on

01:11:57.420 those tires. Like it's a nice, smooth landing and that's more comfortable. That's what you need to

01:12:03.460 do in life. It needs to be not, not comfortable, but you need to gradually build up and wind down.

01:12:09.920 Um, so what's going to happen for this soldier you're talking about is when his time and service

01:12:17.420 is up, that's an abrupt end and it's painful and it's uncomfortable and it hurts. And he's going to

01:12:25.780 lose a lot of meaning in his life because he may have attached himself to being a hardened soldier and

01:12:30.820 warrior. You, you, if you're at this stage and you know, he's going to be transitioning out,

01:12:36.160 he actually needs to be winding down and ramping up simultaneously on something else.

01:12:42.460 So it sounds like the soldiers kind of maybe just doing a slow wind down here,

01:12:47.000 which could be really healthy for him. It could, but if he doesn't have anything that's winding up

01:12:53.680 right now, at some point it's going to stop. And then what's going to, and I know from experience,

01:12:58.760 when I, when I got out of the, uh, out of the national guard after, uh, our, our, uh, deployment in Iraq,

01:13:05.020 like I had a plan, but we changed my wife and I changed that plan. And it was like abrupt,

01:13:11.360 nope, stop. And then I had three months where I'm like, I don't know what to do. And I was

01:13:16.980 doing odds and ends. And I was like electrical. And then I did some heating and air stuff. And I

01:13:20.980 was trying to start a financial planning business. And it was like very abrupt, but had I been planning

01:13:26.560 for that for the last year and winding something up and getting the research and getting the data or

01:13:32.140 setting up websites and learning how to market to people. Then when I left and transitioned out

01:13:38.180 of the military, I already had something that was on a gradual takeoff and there was no abruptness in

01:13:43.460 it. It would have just been a nice level, little taper and off to the races I was. So this is

01:13:48.580 something that a lot of soldiers, uh, and military members go, go through is these abrupt starts and

01:13:54.680 stops. And it's painful, especially when they lose a lot of their meaning and identity. So as, as one of

01:14:02.760 his leaders, it sounds like you really need to help him figure out what the next mission is going to be

01:14:09.740 and foster that growth and development in him. If you really cared about him, not just the fact that

01:14:15.800 he's your soldier. That's, that's what you would do. Copy. Mike Arndorfer, uh, Arnd, Arndorfer.

01:14:24.380 Yeah. Uh, I think it's Arndorfer, but Arndorfer, my Q4 battle plan vision is pushing me out of my

01:14:31.540 normal complacent routine and it scares the crap out of me. Tips and suggestions for managing the fear

01:14:39.100 that comes with making a change. Just embrace it. Like that doesn't, if you, you can act on your

01:14:47.980 fear or not, that's just a choice. Everybody's afraid. Like don't make it wrong that you feel

01:14:54.540 fearful. Just realize it's there and take the appropriate action. Like you're giving it more

01:15:00.580 weight than it deserves. Yeah. I mean, you really are. The fear is a good thing. Actually fear,

01:15:05.720 fear will keep you alive, right? If you're on the ledge of a cliff and you're afraid,

01:15:09.640 that's going to, that's going to keep you from taking the next step that you would fall off the

01:15:13.120 cliff and die. Like that's actually a pretty serving emotion to be experiencing in that moment.

01:15:18.300 But our, our, our little brains can't really, in a lot of instances determine and make a

01:15:24.840 differentiating factor between what's going to kill us and what's pushing us outside of our comfort

01:15:28.900 zone. And because we can't differentiate between the two, it keeps us from doing things that are

01:15:33.740 uncomfortable and scary, but won't kill us. They'll just push us a little harder. So what a lot of the

01:15:38.960 times we do as men is we give, and this is biological, this is an innate, we don't even have to think

01:15:44.480 about it. We give our fear more weight than it deserves. And so that's, that's an inferior

01:15:51.140 way of living your life. It's a life of default. The default is you're afraid. I'm afraid. Don't do

01:15:58.800 it. That's the default. Yeah. The non-default, the more assertive response is, okay, I'm afraid.

01:16:05.820 Why am I afraid? Well, because I don't have money. Oh, okay. Well, maybe I need to set some money in

01:16:10.820 the bank account or I'm afraid because I've never done this before and I know how hard I'm going to

01:16:17.120 work. Yeah. Well, maybe you need to manage your schedule more effectively so that you can get the

01:16:23.620 necessary training and tools and resources in place so that you can manage you never having done this

01:16:30.460 particular thing before, but don't give the, don't give the fear more weight than it deserves.

01:16:35.380 It's our, our children do that. And we laugh at it, you know, like my little daughter will dad,

01:16:40.580 come here. And I'll go in there. And she's like, there's, you know, like, will you look in the

01:16:43.540 closet? What, like, why? Like, did you check the closet? Did you check the room when you came in?

01:16:50.960 Yeah. Okay. Well, what, what, what are you scared of? Well, I'm scared of this weird thing and all this.

01:16:56.320 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've been thinking about it too much. Like you're giving it more

01:17:00.880 weight than it deserves. You're lending it too much credit. So stop giving it so much credit.

01:17:06.900 Yes. I'm afraid because this is scary and hard and pushed me outside of my comfort zone.

01:17:12.020 And in order to deal with the fear, I'm going to work my schedule. I'm going to communicate with

01:17:17.480 the people will be impacted by the decisions I'm going to be making. I'm going to hire these coaches

01:17:21.020 to work me through it. And therefore it will address the fear and all will be fine. You know,

01:17:26.040 when I get up and speak in public, there's a little bit of fear there. Okay. So how do you manage that?

01:17:30.280 Be prepared. Yeah. Like know what you're going to talk about. Think about it. Plan it. Know what

01:17:36.280 your host wants you to talk about. Draw upon past experiences. Think about the stories you're going

01:17:40.920 to share. Write the script for all I care, but manage it assertively. Don't just say I'm afraid,

01:17:45.900 period. Yeah. I'm afraid. Therefore I will do dot, dot, dot. Yeah. One thing I like to think about is

01:17:53.000 especially like public speaking scenarios is, or maybe like the stakes are really high.

01:18:00.280 Maybe we're doing a sales call with like a huge client. Everything's on the line. Presentations

01:18:05.800 needs to be spot on. I'm nervous or whatever. Usually those times when, you know, one, it drives

01:18:14.480 preparation and action, right? Because you're fearful and the stakes are high, but it's also

01:18:20.140 what makes those things like amazing when they're done. Right. It's like, yeah, we killed it,

01:18:25.140 you know, and, and you feel great and you achieve something. Why? Because the stakes are high.

01:18:29.500 Like, that's also a good thing. You know, you could flip that on its head and go,

01:18:33.060 oh, I wish it was just mediocre. And I just showed up and didn't care. Like that's not succeeding.

01:18:41.720 That's not challenging. That's not fun. You know, it's like all those times that are tough and we

01:18:47.220 might be, you know, a little, have a little bit of fear are also the times that are just the most

01:18:53.220 rewarding in life too. For sure. Yeah. Also everything is not on the line.

01:19:00.220 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And being mindful of that. Right. Right. Like it's okay. You know, it's okay.

01:19:07.800 And, and I, I thought about that too, big clients, you know, it's, it's a, you're thinking about the

01:19:12.500 wrong thing. You're thinking about what you can get. You're thinking about, it's actually selfish.

01:19:16.300 You're thinking about yourself or how you're going to be perceived versus trying to get the message

01:19:20.720 across accurately. Yeah. Not, not even that, even that's like of yourself. How do I get this message

01:19:27.160 across? That's, that's even selfish. How do I help this person? Yeah. Like what, what, what do I need

01:19:34.160 to do or say, or how do I need to show up and behave so that this person will be served by what

01:19:38.680 I'm going to offer them? Yeah. And then you make it like, same thing. When I go speak in public,

01:19:43.220 like what, what do these guys need? What do they want? What can I share with them? That is going to

01:19:48.520 help their lives be better. And then you place the emphasis of where it belongs, which is on them,

01:19:53.160 not on you. And that will drive you to perform differently. Yeah, for sure. And then realizing

01:19:59.320 that not like, there's nothing, there's nothing that is where everything is on the line, unless

01:20:05.140 it's going to kill you. Yeah. Which you probably shouldn't be doing. Yeah. Or somebody you love,

01:20:11.160 but outside of that. Okay. So you, you didn't land the client that sucks for sure. Or you lost the

01:20:18.620 client. Well, also sucks where you said something stupid in a presentation. Yeah, that was embarrassing. 1.00

01:20:24.600 And so I won't do that again. Like, let's stop giving so much weight to these things so that we

01:20:29.840 can actually perform and serve and help people. Yeah.

01:20:34.700 I like it. Cool. All right, man. Let's wrap it up. Yeah. Sounds good. Uh, we, you know,

01:20:42.540 we mentioned the iron council a handful of times, just reminder there. Uh, we have a new quarter

01:20:47.460 actually just started this week within the iron council where we're banding with like-minded men

01:20:52.100 to achieve great things to join us there, go to order of man.com slash iron council. And, um,

01:20:58.720 as always, you can follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler, and you can,

01:21:04.080 we appreciate in reviews and feedback from the podcast, from YouTube. And of course you can get

01:21:09.880 your order of man swag from the store that store.orderofman.com. Anything else? That's it.

01:21:16.900 It's all that's going on. Order of man event this week. It's going to be a big event. We've got a

01:21:21.100 hundred guys coming out here to the property. We're going to have a great time. We're going to learn

01:21:24.160 a lot. We're going to learn from each other and hold each other accountable. So stay tuned. We have

01:21:27.480 a updating of, uh, updated event dates for 2022 coming out soon, including we're going to be doing a

01:21:33.300 father daughter event in 2022. So very cool. Be on the lookout for that as well. All right, guys,

01:21:39.180 that's all we've got. We'll be back on Friday until then go out there, take action and become

01:21:44.080 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:21:49.200 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:21:53.820 order of man.com.

Order of Man - October 06, 2021

Developing a Competitive Mindset, Achieving Excellence, and Managing Fear ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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