Order of Man - Developing Patience, Pushing Outside Comfort Zones, and Embracing Change ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.360 Kip, what's up, brother? Back again for the Ask Me Anything of the week.

00:00:30.000 Yeah, I'm depressed.

00:00:31.920 Well, I could tell as soon as we got on the phone, I was like, I don't know if this is the best day to do this or not.

00:00:36.160 Yeah. You're like, Kip, you're going to bring down the whole listener base of the podcast. You're going to be depressed.

00:00:43.520 That's why there's two of us, though, right? It's like sometimes I'll carry the conversation and other times you will.

00:00:49.200 So Kip's answers might be the pessimist type answers and mine might be the optimist type answers.

00:00:54.740 I think the roles would be reversed if we did that, but it keeps the guys on their toes anyways.

00:00:58.620 Yeah. So you'll answer Aaron's first question here, and then I'll say, no, the correct response is, who cares?

00:01:05.300 That's right. Do it anyways.

00:01:08.480 That's exactly right.

00:01:09.780 Well, I mean, you can get into why you're depressed if you want.

00:01:13.260 I'm not going to approach that unless you want to.

00:01:15.780 No. Well, you know what? I think I just stressed, a little stress, work's busy.

00:01:22.080 I mentioned this last week that my son moved up from Arizona.

00:01:25.500 This is his first week at his new high school, per se, and so there's a little adjustments.

00:01:32.320 It's all going great, actually.

00:01:33.800 I think maybe part of me is just being a pessimist, which is ironic that you spoke about that on Friday Field Notes, I believe.

00:01:42.760 Did I? I don't remember.

00:01:44.440 It's amazing.

00:01:45.400 All of these conversations are starting to blend together a little bit.

00:01:49.660 People are like, what episode was that?

00:01:50.920 I'm like, I have no idea.

00:01:52.080 You'll have to go back and listen yourself.

00:01:53.800 Although, I did have a high note from last week's AMA.

00:01:59.960 I actually got quoted on Instagram.

00:02:03.080 I'm like, air quote, there's quotes.

00:02:05.840 You are moving up in the world, my friend.

00:02:08.220 Got quoted.

00:02:09.240 Big time. You reached the big time, the big show.

00:02:12.120 Yeah, the big show.

00:02:13.720 Hey, and by the way, so I registered, I mentioned this to you already, Ryan.

00:02:17.900 So, I registered for the immersion camp with Origin, and when I did last night, just a heads up for everybody, it was 70% full.

00:02:27.400 So, if you guys are interested on going to the Origin Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu camp in August, you better act immediately because that thing is going to fill up really soon.

00:02:39.580 They're going to fill it out.

00:02:40.440 Yeah, I think I just got a message, an email or something that said it's now open.

00:02:45.240 And just to know they're 70% full already, you better get on a quick – and by the way, if you use the code order – or excuse me, what is it?

00:02:51.500 Let's see. Order – hold on, let me back up. 0.96

00:02:53.120 OriginMain.

00:02:53.900 Yes.

00:02:55.040 OriginMain.com slash order camp.

00:02:58.940 OriginMain.com slash order camp.

00:03:00.880 If you use that link, the beauty of that is I know that you're signed up through listening to this podcast or being connected with our movement.

00:03:09.280 Not that I get compensated on that or anything, but that lets me know who came through this movement, which makes them eligible for the custom Order of Man Origin Rash Guard that we're going to do.

00:03:22.880 So, that is OriginMain.com slash order camp.

00:03:28.220 So, get that done if you're going to do it.

00:03:29.480 Either session A, B, or both, which is what I'm doing.

00:03:33.040 I think that's what you're doing, right, Kip?

00:03:34.800 Yep.

00:03:35.020 And also, Matthew Arrington will be doing both sessions as well.

00:03:38.140 I'm sure Peter and some of those other guys will be there.

00:03:40.060 So, it's going to be a good crew for sure.

00:03:42.360 That's being awesome.

00:03:43.200 And if you always wanted the opportunity to be choked out by someone's beard, Ryan will be offering free submissions, strangulation with his beard.

00:03:52.600 That's right.

00:03:53.060 You just can't struggle.

00:03:53.980 You have to just sit there and lay back and accept it.

00:03:56.060 Embrace it.

00:03:56.760 Yeah.

00:03:57.920 I actually was rolling around with my boy the other day, my oldest, and he's big.

00:04:02.460 He's big and he's strong, but he's kind of like a tender-hearted kid, so he doesn't really exert himself.

00:04:07.260 I'm like, come on, fight me.

00:04:09.240 And he just wouldn't do it.

00:04:10.700 And I eventually just smothered him with my beard until he just gave up and he came up spitting beard hairs out of his mouth.

00:04:16.660 And it's just how it is.

00:04:18.240 I have actually, believe it or not, contemplated getting rid of or at least shortening up the beard specifically for jujitsu.

00:04:26.960 Yeah.

00:04:27.560 Because it is the most.

00:04:28.700 Getting shredded.

00:04:29.460 Oh, man.

00:04:30.180 Of all the misery that is Brazilian jujitsu, the beard is by far the worst part of it.

00:04:37.120 Yeah.

00:04:37.700 That's tough.

00:04:38.180 It just gets yanked on and tugged on and pulled on, and I walk away with 10% less volume in my beard.

00:04:43.280 It's not fun.

00:04:44.680 It's not enjoyable.

00:04:45.560 So we'll see.

00:04:46.160 We'll see.

00:04:46.960 Not that the boys in my neighborhood is a good sampling of boys overall, but guys, we need to be rougher with our kids.

00:04:54.360 I did a Brazilian jujitsu session for young boys in my neighborhood.

00:04:59.060 There's probably about 12 of them.

00:05:00.900 Number one problem, they're just not rough.

00:05:05.980 I'm like, you know, I'm showing them a basic arm bar for mount, right?

00:05:10.840 And they're like barely like engaged with each other.

00:05:14.580 They're so weak. 0.98

00:05:15.280 They're like puny. 0.88

00:05:16.740 Yeah.

00:05:17.320 And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:05:18.660 You put all your weight on him.

00:05:20.400 Right.

00:05:20.760 That's going to crush him.

00:05:21.440 I'm like, no, you put all your weight on him.

00:05:24.840 Like, like you're not helping.

00:05:26.400 And this is like one of the principles I told the boys.

00:05:28.300 I'm like, stop, stop.

00:05:29.880 You are not helping them by being passive and not being aggressive.

00:05:35.820 Like they're going to get the sense of, oh, I know how to get out of a headlock.

00:05:40.360 No, they don't.

00:05:41.300 Because guess what?

00:05:42.080 You weren't really putting them in the headlock.

00:05:43.940 You were just kind of calmly and nicely holding their head.

00:05:47.740 Like cradling their head.

00:05:49.480 Get rough with each other.

00:05:49.740 Yeah.

00:05:50.260 Get rough with each other.

00:05:52.100 Like get a little mean, embrace it, be hard and let your opponent really try to get out.

00:05:58.700 Like, oh my God.

00:05:59.940 And it was the number one problem.

00:06:01.040 Like constantly.

00:06:01.740 I'm like, you guys got to be more rough.

00:06:03.440 Like seriously.

00:06:04.560 I think this is just indicative of society in general.

00:06:07.480 Like we, we as parents, this is our fault.

00:06:09.540 We as parents are coddling our children.

00:06:12.000 We're bubble wrapping them.

00:06:13.300 We're protecting them.

00:06:14.380 We're keeping them safe.

00:06:15.360 We're letting them play video games instead of interacting in real life.

00:06:18.700 Specifically with regards to our boys, when they are out doing quote unquote boy-like things.

00:06:23.480 For example, my boys, I think a week and a half or so ago, were having rock fights.

00:06:28.680 And I'm not condoning a rock fight necessarily, but at the same time, boys being boys, right?

00:06:33.080 And, but if they go out and do those types of things, then we as parents or teachers or whatever it may be, we condone that behavior, right?

00:06:45.720 And so they never learn to develop that.

00:06:47.380 One other example is my oldest in school.

00:06:50.320 Um, the boys would play two and touch flag football, or excuse me, two and touch football, uh, during recess.

00:06:56.880 And one of the kids pushed another one, you know, how it just gets rough.

00:07:00.120 Two and touch could mean lightly touch you or shove you to the ground.

00:07:03.300 Yeah.

00:07:03.740 Two and touch is tackle and then pull the flag.

00:07:06.160 That's right.

00:07:06.680 That's right.

00:07:07.080 So, so they were doing two and touch.

00:07:10.020 One boy pushed another kid.

00:07:11.460 He fell down and cut open his knee or something, you know, something that happens, right?

00:07:15.820 And they couldn't play football for a week.

00:07:19.140 And then when they came back and were able to play again, they had to meet with the principal.

00:07:23.700 And, and the, and, and what the administration instituted was some sort of like referee rule where two of the boys had to sit out and be referees.

00:07:34.080 And then next time they played, then they would switch referees.

00:07:37.060 I'm like, no, the referees are the players.

00:07:40.280 And you just come to a mutual conclusion, whether that's through a fist fight or just agreeing that the guy, you know, was down or whatever.

00:07:46.940 It's just, it's just completely indicative of how weak and soft we have become as a society.

00:07:52.800 And then you have organizations like the American psychological association saying that things that are quote unquote, traditionally masculine, such as, uh, what do they say?

00:08:02.320 Strength, uh, aggressiveness, competition, stoicism are inherently bad and destructive to young men.

00:08:10.880 When that's the furthest thing from the truth.

00:08:13.380 I also wonder, and one of the things that I'm noticing a lot lately, and maybe this isn't just something I haven't been fully aware of,

00:08:20.580 but I have noticed that the level of our young men who are autistic or Asperger's or somewhere along that spectrum seems to be increasing exponentially.

00:08:32.720 And that's just anecdotal.

00:08:34.200 I don't know any of the research or anything behind it, but I am just absolutely blown away because I have in, in, in the not too distant past up until now,

00:08:44.640 I've been with regards to where I'm involved with young men in our community, whether it's school or church events or whatever else it may be,

00:08:52.200 how many boys fall somewhere along this spectrum of, and I don't know the correct term if it's a social disorder, but, but something's not quite working out.

00:09:03.320 Whether again, it's, it's autism or Asperger's or any number of these types of, uh, disabilities, I guess you'd say.

00:09:11.000 It's just, it's amazing to me. I don't know what is going on. I'd love to know more about this. And I got to do some research on this.

00:09:17.200 Yeah. It's interesting. I mean, one thing's for sure is we have, to your point, we have a tendency to even pander to those things.

00:09:25.180 You're like, Oh, you know, let's classify them. And I have a strong opinion about this and I don't, I don't give a shit if someone argues with me on this because my, 0.93

00:09:32.480 my oldest son is autistic. So that gives me the right to have an opinion. 0.97

00:09:36.080 Well, even if he wasn't, you have that right to that opinion, right?

00:09:38.860 Yeah, that's true. You're listening anyway. So shut up. Um, now see now my anger and my, um,

00:09:46.040 my depressedness is coming through. So anyhow, so, um, my point being is to your point actually is

00:09:53.260 we're pandering even to that, right? It's like, okay, what's, let's, let's put them on a spectrum.

00:09:57.460 Let's classify them and then excuse it. Right. Because it's fine to recognize it.

00:10:03.220 It's perfect to recognize it, but don't excuse it. Realize what you're dealing with and say, okay,

00:10:08.600 now for us to get up this mountain, we're going to have to work this angle or work a little harder

00:10:14.020 or do these things. But instead we go, Oh, you know what? Let's just not hike up that mountain.

00:10:18.460 That's, that's actually really destructive because what ends up happening is a very small minority of

00:10:24.440 individuals begin to dictate the behavior of the majority. And what ends up happening in these

00:10:30.200 situations. And I'm trying to be sensitive when I say this, because I know there's fathers who are

00:10:33.820 listening right now who have just like yourself, who have boys who are autistic or Asperger's or any

00:10:39.480 number of one of these things. Um, but it's, it, it's, it's difficult because the standard is reduced,

00:10:48.180 right? And, and that's actually, and I'll say this, and this is one that doesn't, that a lot of people

00:10:52.440 don't like is that women in the military, you know, you take one element, the physical fitness 1.00

00:10:56.680 component of it. When you have women and men together, you have to go to the lowest common 1.00

00:11:03.000 denominator, right? The weakest link, if you will. And if we're talking about physical fitness,

00:11:07.320 inevitably that's going to be a woman. Now, somebody's going to say, well, I know some women 1.00

00:11:11.540 who are way stronger than some. Yes. If you cherry pick variables, certainly you can make any scenario

00:11:17.720 work out. But generally speaking, when you have a woman who is in the military and the military has 0.87

00:11:24.240 talked a lot about standardizing the physical fitness requirements. I mean, don't for one second

00:11:29.500 believe that standard is going to stay the same for men or go up. If anything, it's going to go down

00:11:34.720 so that we can be, you know, quote unquote, more inclusive. So this attempt to make everybody feel

00:11:42.520 warm and fuzzy and this attempt to try to include everybody ends up with the unintended consequence

00:11:50.380 of lowering the standard for the organization or society or whatever it is you might be dealing

00:11:56.820 with. Yeah. And as a result, people are not leveling up instead. Right. They're leveling down.

00:12:02.680 Yeah. It's a tough one because, because those issues are real, right? You, you need to be aware

00:12:08.960 of that. It's not, and you want to be sensitive to that and you want to encourage these, these boys

00:12:13.800 and girls and whoever else it may be, you want to encourage them to continue to develop and grow at,

00:12:18.760 at the pace that they're physically capable of. But it's, it's very dangerous when you start

00:12:23.920 compromising and jeopardizing the standards of the whole. Totally. And as parents, I just think

00:12:29.920 it's super, I mean, this is why parents are just so critical is as a parent, you look for those

00:12:37.280 scenarios in your own children and you know how you can push them. And we need to be really careful

00:12:42.100 about this. Like super careful, like not just in the space of like, if your kid's diagnosed with

00:12:47.500 autism or Asperger's or whatever, but, but even, even the example of my oldest son that,

00:12:52.980 um, has Usher syndrome, you know, he has a hearing loss and he's legally blind and his vision's getting

00:12:58.400 worse. It's super simple. And, and when I shouldn't say super simple, it's very easy for us to pander

00:13:06.040 to that and go, Oh, well, you know what? We shouldn't go skiing because his peripheral vision is really

00:13:10.280 bad and he might run into a tree or whatever. Or, Oh yeah, we shouldn't go hiking. He might trip on a

00:13:15.200 road. Like there's tons of little things. And, and by the way, most society would say, yeah,

00:13:19.720 that's completely warranted. You're probably right. Right. Screw that. Right. That doesn't

00:13:23.420 benefit him. That's not living life. Like now do we need to take extra precautions? Sure. But guess

00:13:29.240 what? We should still go skiing. Right. But how do we make it work in this environment?

00:13:32.680 We should still go hiking. Right. Yeah. And we got to be really careful that, you know,

00:13:35.920 all my kids bad, like even just as any generalization just drives me mad. Whenever I hear like a

00:13:42.240 kid say, or one of my kids, well, I'm just not good at math. No, no, you're choose. Like,

00:13:46.880 don't put yourself on that label. You may have struggle with a little bit more than other

00:13:52.080 individuals, but you know, just to go, I'm not good at math and that's just the way it is.

00:13:56.360 No. Well, it's funny because men do that as well. And I made a post about this. I said

00:14:01.860 something to the effect of, you know, stop telling people it is, it is what it is, or it's just the

00:14:07.540 way I am. You might as well be saying you're incapable of learning, growing and developing when you say,

00:14:11.820 well, I just, it's just how I am. Take it or leave it. It's like, learn, evolve, grow.

00:14:17.920 You decide. Yeah. Right. You decide. All right. So we've wasted 10 minutes. Should we start a

00:14:22.240 question? I don't think we've wasted it. I think that's a good conversation and one that's much

00:14:25.420 needed in society. You know, everybody's afraid to have this type of conversation because heaven

00:14:29.340 forbid somebody get upset or offended, their feelings get hurt, or you're, you're insensitive.

00:14:33.380 And it's like, you know, maybe all that stuff's true, but at the same time, the things that we're

00:14:37.780 talking about right now with regards to learning disorders and autism and Asperger's, like these

00:14:43.120 things are important, bubble wrapping and coddling children. These things are important. We need to

00:14:47.920 discuss these things. And if we can't have these types of conversations, nothing else really matters,

00:14:51.940 frankly. Yeah, I agree. All right. Let's get, I think we have some leftovers from the Facebook group,

00:14:56.860 but most of the questions today seem like they are coming directly from our exclusive brotherhood,

00:15:00.340 the iron council. Yeah. Cool. Which you can learn more about the iron council at ordervan.com

00:15:05.160 slash iron council. Yeah. Let's go with the iron council questions first. Okay. These guys are,

00:15:10.760 are part of the order, part of the order in a more elevated way. Aaron goats, what are the three to

00:15:18.400 five most important decisions or non-decisions each of you have made in your adult life that helps shape

00:15:24.460 you into the man you are today? Wow. Um, for me, uh, I think, you know, there's, there's like moments

00:15:33.160 where, you know, I joined the military. That was a big decision for me, um, who I decided to marry,

00:15:37.440 of course, and, and take as my bride was a huge decision for me. Um, but then there's other,

00:15:42.760 other little things like that would be hard to articulate. Like when I stopped deciding to let

00:15:48.660 my circumstances dictate how I was going to, to behave, you know, like letting these outside factors

00:15:54.180 control me. Um, one of the biggest life-changing moments for me was when I thought my marriage was

00:16:00.640 over. Like we went through our separation and we must've been separated for, I don't know,

00:16:06.000 three months or so at the time. And I was driving down the road. I know the road I was on. I know

00:16:10.440 the cross street. I know everything about that because it's crystal clear to me. That day was

00:16:14.640 like yesterday where I thought to myself, man, my marriage is over. And I did not want to wrestle

00:16:20.300 with that at all because I didn't want that to be the case. But as difficult as it was in the moment,

00:16:26.700 it was one of the most liberating times of my life and a clear, clear moment point in my life

00:16:33.700 where I adopted a new mindset that have served me very, very well over the last decade. And that

00:16:38.860 is that I can't control what anybody else does. I can influence people. I can, I can have some sort

00:16:45.740 of authority and relevance and credibility in their life, but ultimately I can't, I can't manipulate,

00:16:51.480 coerce, strong arm, or force somebody to behave or to think a certain way. And so rather than

00:16:58.200 focusing on that, which is what I was doing, I'm just going to change myself. And as I began to

00:17:03.140 change myself, everything about my life, including my relationship, my money, uh, the business,

00:17:09.100 my fitness, everything about my life completely changed. And, uh, that was a very cathartic type

00:17:15.640 moment for me. It was a huge, huge moment in my life. The only three that I could think of is I

00:17:23.760 remember, uh, was a probably junior, a sophomore in high school. And I don't, I don't know, I don't

00:17:32.960 know what triggered it. Right. But I ultimately decided that, um, spiritual, spiritualness and

00:17:42.900 understanding my relationship with my creator was something I needed to figure out on my own.

00:17:49.800 And that was, and it was an odd time, um, because I don't think most kind of juniors in high school

00:17:55.680 are concerned with that. Yeah. So that was, that was critical for me. Cause I, I think it put me on a,

00:18:02.040 on a really good path. Um, especially that time in life. Yeah. That's one of the best paths to be on

00:18:08.900 for sure. Yeah. Yeah. The second would be, um, of course who I married. Um, and then the third,

00:18:15.160 uh, very similar to yours, Ryan is, and I remember it too. I remember, um, going for a run, uh, in

00:18:22.240 surprise Arizona, it was probably midnight and I'm just running. And that's what I used to do, uh,

00:18:27.960 during my slash divorce slash separation. And, um, I remember just stopping and it was calm.

00:18:35.720 The moon was out. And I remember all of a sudden it like slapped me up the side of the head where I

00:18:40.740 was like, I'm in this, I'm in this position and in this place in life ultimately because of me and

00:18:48.260 no one else. And it was the first time in my life where I really took full accountability for where

00:18:54.820 I was. And I just, and I remember deciding that night that however my life turns out from here on

00:19:00.400 forward, that's on me and no one else. And I remember making that major distinction in my life

00:19:06.240 and, and that was profound, right? Because that growth mindset allows us to grow. Uh, when you're

00:19:12.260 a victim, obviously there, there's no room for a reflection on areas in which you need to improve.

00:19:18.760 So that was pretty substantial. Yeah. It's funny that ours are very much in alignment. And here's what

00:19:24.200 I would say guys is don't let it get to that point. All right. It's, it's, I don't want to say

00:19:29.220 it's easy to change when you're at rock bottom, but when you're at rock bottom, you're looking

00:19:32.620 for, you're looking to fix your life, right? You're looking for solutions. You're looking

00:19:36.860 to figure it out. Like hopefully, hopefully you're not just wallowing in your own self

00:19:40.200 pity and self-destruct even more, even though plenty of men do that. Hopefully when you do

00:19:45.680 hit that rock bottom, you're like, shit, I got to get out of here. Like, what can I do? 0.99

00:19:48.800 How can I climb up this rock wall that I found myself in? I just don't want you to get

00:19:53.060 to that point. And if you get complacent in your life, like you let, let your relationship

00:19:58.420 go. And maybe you're not going on as many dates with your wife as you used to. Like

00:20:02.300 that's an indicator that you're slipping, right? There's no, there's no homeostasis. You're

00:20:06.980 either growing or you're falling behind. So if you've added a few more pounds to your

00:20:11.780 waistline, don't wait until it's 30 pounds. Fix it now. Correct it now. If you noticed 0.92

00:20:17.640 you're, you're getting a low or you're in your bank account or your spending is a little 1.00

00:20:21.000 too high, fix that shit now. And don't wait until you have to declare bankruptcy. I mean, 1.00

00:20:26.780 you can, but don't get yourself in that situation because it's infinitely harder to dig yourself

00:20:32.260 out of that hole. It's better to take some time, reflect, think about it now, figure out

00:20:37.220 what the trend is of your life. Is it improvement or are you drastically falling behind and nip

00:20:43.080 that in the bud, man? So you can grow now and not have to be at rock bottom. Um, we always

00:20:48.580 had, we had this sign when we were in Iraq, um, outside of the gate, anytime we left the wire

00:20:52.440 and that sign said complacency kills as in literal death. Like if you get complacent and

00:20:58.500 you just think this is a typical mission or a typical stroll in the park or everything

00:21:02.240 standard here, you will die and other people will die as well. But if we adopt that same 0.75

00:21:08.680 mindset and that same mantra in our life, I think all of us would come to the conclusion

00:21:12.760 that we are so complacent in our fitness and our finances, in our, uh, relationship with

00:21:20.240 our kids and our wife and our friends and just about every other facet of life. And

00:21:24.660 the only reason that you're, that you're okay with it is because you're not experiencing

00:21:28.860 the full weight of that complacency yet. You will, I promise you it will catch up. Don't

00:21:34.760 let it catch up. Nip it in the bud, attack it. Now get back on the path you need to be 0.99

00:21:38.740 on.

00:21:41.400 John Davies, Ryan, where are you at with your guitar playing as this month? We will be

00:21:47.660 discussing change. What do you feel is the best way to establish a sense of urgency?

00:21:52.940 Well, so let me, let me say with regards to the change thing, what he's referring to

00:21:57.760 inside of our iron council, uh, every month we have a topic for the month. And, um, this

00:22:04.300 month was about being a lighthouse, be an example, shining for others. We've talked about that

00:22:07.940 on the ask me any things. Uh, and then next month for the month of, uh, April, we're talking

00:22:13.820 about embracing changes, change in different elements of our life come up. Like, how do

00:22:18.040 we address that? How do we deal with that? So that's where that's coming from. Uh, as

00:22:21.440 far as guitar playing, honestly, I have, I've really let a couple of things go. My guitar

00:22:26.560 playing, um, even my, my archery practice I've let go. I had made a post about that just

00:22:32.960 the other day that I'm, I'm getting back into it. Um, I've, I've just been so busy and

00:22:37.200 I can use that as an excuse, but at the end of the day, I've just placed my priorities

00:22:41.640 on other things right now with the move and everything else. Um, but that's not to say

00:22:45.980 I don't want to continue to do those things. I'm just building those back into my process

00:22:49.520 because it slipped, you know, just like we talked about to the next point. How do you

00:22:53.100 build urgency into what you're doing? Um, you collapse your timeframe a little bit.

00:22:58.420 What I've noticed, for example, is, well, I'll give you an example. Uh, today, as of

00:23:03.200 this recording, it's my oldest son's birthday and he's 11 years old. And so if I think about

00:23:09.760 it, I've got seven years with him before he's, you know, on, he's moving on and he's

00:23:14.340 hopefully going on a church mission or he's going to college and he's, he's just starting

00:23:18.260 his life. Right. And so I hear that I'm like seven years. Oh, I got plenty of time. Seven

00:23:22.400 years. That's a long time, except for it's really not, you know, it's not a lot of time.

00:23:27.700 If you think about it and you collapse that timeframe and you think, man, that's how long

00:23:32.980 my second son has been with us. You know, he's been, he's eight. So it's like you find

00:23:38.100 different ways to think about how you can collapse these timeframes and stop thinking

00:23:41.620 that everything's so far away. Like it's such a short period of time that we have. And if

00:23:46.840 you take that opportunity to think of it like that, I think you'll realize that, man, we

00:23:52.460 just don't have as much time on the spinning rock as we would like. So very tactically, excuse

00:23:59.440 me, tactically. Um, I would recommend the battle plan. Like we talk about this all the time,

00:24:05.420 but it's a 12 week battle plan, not 52 week, not decade plan. It's what are you going to

00:24:12.380 do in the next 90 days? 90 days. It's all you have. You've got 90 days. And people say

00:24:19.600 all the time, what's, what's the plan for order of man after I have a direction, but I

00:24:22.700 don't have a plan for what's after. Cause I'm hyper focused on this 90 days right now. And

00:24:29.000 then I can worry about the next 90 days when I get to that point. But the more that we incorporate

00:24:33.200 and adopt the battle plan into our life and we make it daily habits and we realize we're

00:24:37.700 operating in these short blocks of time, I think we'll be a lot more urgent to complete

00:24:41.940 the things that we have placed emphasis and priority on.

00:24:46.380 I would like to suggest that everyone listening, imagine for 90 days, if you just 100% killed

00:24:55.360 it at work, in your physical life, in your spirituality, everything you did all the things that you

00:25:01.840 know you should be doing that you continually blow off and procrastinate on. And you just

00:25:07.420 got after it and did all those things for 90 days. Imagine what kind of man you would show

00:25:12.220 up as. It'd be substantial.

00:25:15.020 It'd be insane.

00:25:16.460 You'd be inspiring to people. It'd be awesome.

00:25:19.880 I mean, forget about all that. You'd just be fulfilled. I mean, look, there's nothing wrong

00:25:23.540 with inspiring people, but just do it for yourself. Even be selfish. You know, like, like imagine,

00:25:29.540 imagine this for a second. You wake up after a good night's sleep and you feel energized and

00:25:36.880 refreshed and you drink a bunch of water and you get up and you feel limber and you're able to move

00:25:42.600 and then you stretch out and you go work out and you're feeling good because you moved your body

00:25:46.700 and you sweat. And then you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, holy shit, I look good. 0.99

00:25:49.880 You know, I lost 20 pounds. I can, I can see my abs, right? I'm losing love handles, the muffin tops 0.97

00:25:54.820 around my waist. And you feel good about that. And then your wife looks at you and she's like,

00:26:00.000 damn, hon, you look good. You know? And then you get that, that little surge because she's 0.99

00:26:04.940 starting to notice you. And then, and then maybe things get more physical and then you have energy

00:26:09.040 and opportunities to play with your kids. Your kids get home and you're not exhausted because

00:26:13.080 you're, you're doing work that you found meaning in and you're engaged in. And then little Billy comes

00:26:18.600 home and he's like, dad, let's play catch. And you're like, sweet, I've got energy. I want to go play

00:26:21.900 catch right after that. You go for a run and then you eat healthy food. Like think about,

00:26:25.720 think about how awesome this would be. I mean, I know it is when I'm doing it. I'm not saying I'm

00:26:30.940 a hundred percent perfect on that, but man, when I'm doing these types of things and I'm improving

00:26:35.560 my life, man, I feel unstoppable. I feel alive. I feel like I'm on fire. And I think that's something

00:26:41.520 that a lot of men are missing big time in their lives because they're very simply put, they're just

00:26:47.440 not doing the work required to have that. They haven't earned the right to that type of life.

00:26:51.660 And I'd like to say I'm better at it, you know, as maybe more than I really am. But man,

00:26:56.340 when I'm on fire like that, I'm unstoppable. It's amazing. Yeah. Love it. Tom Kingwell,

00:27:03.660 what is the thing you battle with yourself the most? How have you tried to change this aspect?

00:27:10.860 For me, it's patience. It's always patience. You know, I'm, I, I tend to be a really impatient guy.

00:27:15.900 I want things now. I want the results quickly. This even spills in the conversation.

00:27:20.640 I never noticed that. Yeah. Most people would have spills into the way I talk. Like I'm like,

00:27:24.840 talk fast. Like I got shit to do. Like, come on, let's get through it. And, and also at the same 0.99

00:27:29.340 time, it hinders my level of empathy. Cause I'm like, I don't care. Let's fix it. Okay. You're

00:27:33.240 having a bad day. What can we do to fix it? And, and yet like, it's really hard for me to

00:27:37.140 like really just slow down and even appreciate where I am. You know, I think about patients in

00:27:43.100 my business. You know, our, our podcast is very, very successful. This movement is very,

00:27:47.840 very successful. And so from the outside, looking in, a lot of people are like, man,

00:27:52.180 I just can't believe how good you've done and all the wonderful things. And I'm like,

00:27:55.320 what are you talking about? Like we got, like, we're just scratching the surface. We got to go,

00:27:58.900 go, go, go, go, go, go. And yet, yeah, we should be happy and we should be celebrating the things

00:28:05.620 that we've done. Um, when my kids aren't, you know, maybe behaving the way they should, or

00:28:10.800 I don't know, they have their own stuff and I've got my stuff. Like I, I snap at them quickly and,

00:28:16.340 and I get impatient and I might lose, lose my temper more quickly than I should. And so it's like

00:28:21.440 really hard for me just to like stop and smell the roses, if you will. And I think in a lot of ways,

00:28:26.820 that's good because that ambition and that drive has produced some incredible results in my life.

00:28:33.660 But also like the, the, the older I get, I'm not old, but the older I get, the more I realize,

00:28:39.460 you know, that stuff's good, but there's other things that are good too. Like just being able

00:28:44.520 to go on a walk that it doesn't have to be a race, right? Like you can just walk. I did this the

00:28:50.420 other day when we were in, in Zion, I live at the base of Zion national park and me and my wife and

00:28:55.460 four kids went on a pretty moderate hike for the easy hike for us, moderate, maybe for them.

00:29:00.560 But my little girl, uh, she's five. She really struggled. And I'm like, come on, come on,

00:29:06.060 like, hurry up. What are you doing? Come on. And I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. What are you doing here?

00:29:09.740 Like relax, just relax, man. Like go walk with her. And yeah, you're going to walk at 25% of the speed

00:29:15.620 you're capable of, but that's the point. It's like, just stop and slow down. And so that level of

00:29:22.020 patience is something I'm, I'm always dealing with, man. It's always something on my mind.

00:29:28.460 I'm similar. I think I have the same just general thing. I mean, even when it, when it,

00:29:34.020 even when I'm home, right. I want to get home. I'm like, all right, what's, what things need to

00:29:38.380 get done? Right. You know, work on the garage, you clean this, fix this, do my laundry. You know,

00:29:43.820 my, meanwhile, my wife's like, uh, family time, right. Just relax and just play. And you know what I

00:29:51.580 mean? And I have a tendency to just kind of want to be productive. Um, yeah, it's something I

00:29:56.720 struggle with, but it's also a testament to my wife and the balance that she is to me,

00:30:02.240 because that's exactly what she brings to the equation. And we joke around all the time that

00:30:07.260 whenever she says, Oh, we have a family party, we have this. And I'm always like, uh, like I don't

00:30:12.140 want to do it, but I never regret it though. Always after I'm like, thanks, babe. That was great.

00:30:17.460 Yeah. You know? So she, she helps me a lot in that space, but it's, it's probably that. And

00:30:23.380 maybe ego sometimes. I think I, you know, my ego gets in the way a little bit and I don't want to

00:30:28.380 accept that I'm wrong or I don't know that I can. I mean, are you wrong? I don't know.

00:30:33.240 Not really. Yeah. But yeah. Supposedly my wife says I have an ego problem. I don't know what her

00:30:37.240 deal is. People say, you know, it's funny is when I make a comment on, you know, Facebook or

00:30:43.320 Instagram, wherever we're, wherever we're doing it. Um, people always come back and not,

00:30:47.500 not, not always, but there'll be people who disagree, right? Yeah. And I'll come back and

00:30:52.620 I'll give a rebuttal to their disagreement. And then it's always fascinating to me to hear a guy

00:30:56.920 say, you always do that. Whenever somebody disagrees with you, you, you fight back on it.

00:31:00.740 I'm like, yeah, because it's called a disagreement. Like, like, I don't know. You don't agree with me

00:31:06.260 and I don't agree with you. What would you have me do? Just like roll over and say, Oh, you're right.

00:31:10.380 Like that's the point of a disagreement. But one of the things they often come back with,

00:31:14.960 Oh, you're just, it's just your ego. It's your ego. I'm like, yeah, maybe sometimes. And maybe

00:31:18.680 just sometimes I disagree. Doesn't mean I'm wrong. Right. But ego is something I also deal with as

00:31:23.980 well. And I, I realized that also. Well, and people need to realize that when you're making a post,

00:31:29.300 you're, you're making a point about something that's important. So for me to leave a comment and

00:31:35.600 disagree with you, I think it's important for you to clarify why my disagreement might be wrong or

00:31:42.260 not. Like you're in a position where people are seeking your advice in your opinion. So you need

00:31:48.440 to clarify, like you almost really truly need to clarify based upon your job and role. Um,

00:31:54.840 sometimes I clarify. Sometimes I just say you're an idiot. Yeah. It just really, 1.00

00:31:58.460 but you know what I'm saying? Like, yes, I know what you're saying.

00:32:01.100 I never feel like I'm never going to, I don't know. It just doesn't, that doesn't seem as much

00:32:06.160 of a calling for me to clarify if someone sees it differently, but in the position in which you're

00:32:10.880 in, I think that's even more critical. The challenge for me is trying to decipher

00:32:15.500 between what warrants a response and what doesn't. And I feel like I get it right most of the time,

00:32:20.800 but I realized that maybe I jumped the gun or assume something that really isn't the case. But I can

00:32:25.900 tell, I think for the most part, when somebody wants to have civil discourse and they want to have a

00:32:30.640 discussion about something, even though we may disagree and in that case, just the chain kind

00:32:34.840 of thing. Yeah. And there's, which there's plenty of, you know, it's like, you know, these people,

00:32:39.400 I don't know what, what their thought process is, but they're just filled with anger. I mean,

00:32:44.600 that's what really, what it is is like, people are angry and I'm like, dude, I don't have time for

00:32:48.380 this. Like, I hope you figure out whatever it is you need out of life to, to be happy, but it's not

00:32:52.820 my obligation or responsibility or even desire to help you in this point in this moment. So

00:32:57.340 that's a hard one trying to decipher between who wants to have these types of discussions and

00:33:01.920 who's just being an a-hole. Yeah. And what's ironic is that anger is only online.

00:33:10.260 Like, um, yeah, well, it's more prevalent for sure. Yeah. But you know what I'm saying? It's a,

00:33:14.900 it's under the, um, the protection of the, of the internet, right? Like, oh, it was a cowardly 0.56

00:33:21.840 angry, you know? Well, not even that though. You can, the problem with social media as wonderful 0.69

00:33:27.500 it is, as it is. And a lot of guys wouldn't be here listening to this podcast if it weren't for it

00:33:31.080 is that we can compartmentalize, right? So let's say that Kip, you and I are talking about an issue

00:33:35.720 on this podcast, for example, and we disagree, right? But let's assume that for the sake of this

00:33:41.260 illustration that we don't know each other. All right. So we, we disagree on this one point.

00:33:46.580 Well, I don't know you outside of anything else other than the context of what we're talking. 0.99

00:33:52.140 And so I just apply your thought process in this case, the thought that you're wrong or an asshole 1.00

00:33:59.620 or whatever, or an idiot or moron broadly to your entire life. But if I, but if I knew you, like I do, 1.00

00:34:07.920 I know what your struggles are. I've, you know, we've, we've done jujitsu together. We've led the

00:34:13.540 iron council together. There's times where you've, you know, asked for my guidance and direction.

00:34:17.940 There's times where I've asked for your guidance and direction. And because I know you in a greater

00:34:21.560 context, there's more leniency in disagreements and things that we may not see eye to eye on

00:34:28.140 because I know you as a person versus just taking this one element of you that you're either wrong 0.99

00:34:35.740 or an a-hole or a moron in this one specific scenario and think that just applies to you as a 0.99

00:34:41.660 human being when very rarely it's the case. If you get to know people. 0.98

00:34:45.120 Totally. When you could have respect for an individual and then they disagree with you.

00:34:50.660 And that changes your response to that disagreement in the sense of like, well, you know, I really

00:34:54.340 highly respect Ryan. And so the fact that he's disagreeing with me, you know, maybe, maybe I am

00:34:59.820 wrong. Maybe I should consider what he's saying because I respect him to some level versus, uh, this,

00:35:05.700 this guy's just a moron and he doesn't see what I see. 1.00

00:35:08.780 Right. Yeah, exactly. What else? 1.00

00:35:11.780 Cool. All right. Moose in your post, fix your marriage by fixing yourself. You suggested 0.97

00:35:17.420 challenging yourself. What did you do during your separation to push yourself out of your comfort

00:35:22.520 zone? Was it something physical, mental, or was it in all fronts at once?

00:35:28.340 Yeah. Well, I, I always go, you guys know this. I go back to the battle plan and there's four

00:35:32.160 quadrants inside of the battle plan. And these are areas of our life that we should be focusing on.

00:35:35.940 So for me, what I was doing is I was focusing on those four quadrants, even though they weren't as

00:35:41.240 articulated as, as, as clearly as maybe they are right now. Um, but you have calibration,

00:35:46.680 which is yourself. And so for me, it was about picking up a couple of new hobbies and new,

00:35:52.460 new activities and new interests, and also a level of, of reading, um, that I wasn't doing before

00:35:57.660 because I had to get right in my mind. And I wasn't doing that before I was pouring everything I

00:36:02.780 could into external sources. And as noble as that might be, um, it was coming at my own expense.

00:36:08.120 So for me, it was really challenging myself to be a little bit more selfish, to take some time to

00:36:13.140 read, to take some time to engage in activities and interests and hobbies and pursuits that were only

00:36:18.360 for me. That's number one calibration next is connection. And so what happened is I was going

00:36:24.840 through, um, my, well, before I went through my separation, um, it was, I poured everything into

00:36:32.980 my wife and my son, my one-year-old son at the time. And when I started dating my wife, um, I, I

00:36:39.200 forsaked all of my friends, gave up all my friendships, gave up all my hobbies, spent time only with her.

00:36:45.760 And so when we went through our separation, there was nobody around, dude, like nobody was there

00:36:51.980 because I hadn't been fostering those relationships beforehand. So the challenge for me with regards

00:36:57.840 to the connection department, now that my wife was no longer there to, to support me as if she needed

00:37:03.040 to, uh, I had to go out and make friends. And that was really challenging. I had to call old friends who

00:37:09.480 I hadn't seen for years and try to re-engage them. I had to invite people on outings and activities.

00:37:15.760 And be more social. And I actually tend not to be that much of a social creature anyways.

00:37:21.340 So that was very, very challenging to go out and do that.

00:37:25.780 Yeah. I just, I just run a podcast with 10 million downloads, but you know, I'm not really a social

00:37:30.540 guy. No, I know. And it's weird to say, but it's easy to do it on a podcast, you know, like it's so

00:37:38.940 easy just to have a conversation with somebody across the airwaves. But when you have to sit down

00:37:43.380 face-to-face and interact, that is significantly more challenging for me. I've always felt awkward

00:37:48.100 in that, in that space. Anyways, uh, the third component is condition. So this is your physical

00:37:54.540 health. So for me, I'd law, I mean, I had gained, um, gosh, I was 50 pounds overweight. So I started

00:38:00.240 losing weight. I started to, uh, go into the gym daily. I started to get into some obstacle course

00:38:06.700 racing and some things like that, and really look for opportunities to push myself and exert myself

00:38:11.020 physically. And then the last component of that is, uh, contribution, which is giving back,

00:38:18.880 becoming a man of value, making yourself more valuable. And what I was going through at the

00:38:23.380 time is a struggling financial planning practice. So to push myself past where I was comfortable,

00:38:28.400 um, I actually had to reach out to some advisors in my office and ask for their help. And that doesn't

00:38:35.820 sound like a big deal, except for when you pride yourself on being self-reliant and being able to 0.97

00:38:41.300 figure shit out on your own. It's very hard to go to somebody else and say, Hey, I don't have this

00:38:46.420 figured out. Can you please help me? And it wasn't like, it was challenging to do, but they were

00:38:53.160 completely receptive to it. And it changed my entire financial planning practice so much so that

00:38:58.560 about four or five, six months ago or so. Um, I sold my financial planning practice because I was

00:39:04.980 in the position to do it through a lot of things, but the starting point was reaching out and asking

00:39:10.960 for help, dropping the ego. Like we were talking about last time. These are all ways that I pushed

00:39:15.100 myself. I didn't know I was doing it in those quadrants necessarily. There wasn't anything as the

00:39:19.940 quadrants back then, but that's what I was doing. Yeah. I think it's important to note, Ryan, that we see

00:39:26.660 this in the iron council where guys will neglect one of those quadrants and they'll be like, you

00:39:32.640 know, marriage is good. Everything's good. I need to really focus in and hone in on work more. And I've

00:39:39.040 seen this personally where within six months, all of a sudden we have a guy in the iron council going,

00:39:45.560 yeah, my wife is saying that she might want to get a divorce. I mean, guys, it's so important.

00:39:52.660 The balance of those four is critical, right? We, we cannot neglect any one of them and they

00:39:59.920 support each other. We talked about this all the time. Like guys that are maybe struggling in maybe

00:40:04.480 all areas of their life. They start working out on a daily basis. Guess what? That helps your work a

00:40:09.260 little bit. Her family life. Yeah. Like they, it, it all, they all contribute to one another and you

00:40:15.400 can't neglect one over the other. This is why I have such a hard time with these Insta gurus and

00:40:19.920 Insta celebs were like, hustle and grind, hustle and grind. You got to go out and put in 200 hours

00:40:23.980 a week. It's like, dude, I promise you, I promise you there's more to life than building your business

00:40:32.360 empire. Do I think you should do that? Yes, I do. I think you should go out and I think you should

00:40:37.660 make more money than you know what to do with by helping more people than you ever could have

00:40:41.860 imagined. But I don't think that should ever come at the expense of being able to coach your son's

00:40:47.220 baseball team or go to your daughter's dance recital or take your wife on a date every week.

00:40:53.200 And if you're doing those things and you're neglecting other areas, then you're out of whack 1.00

00:40:58.800 and it's going to come back to bite you in the ass. I promise you, because I've been there, 0.99

00:41:03.820 been there with the business and also vice versa. If you're pouring everything into your family,

00:41:08.380 but you're not taking care of yourself, it will come back to bite you in the ass and you'll be caught 0.99

00:41:13.380 off guard when your wife wants to leave you because you drained all of her energy because you didn't 0.99

00:41:17.420 have another source of energy where you could edify and uplift and fulfill yourself. So this concept of

00:41:25.520 being a well-rounded man is critical to the success of every area in which you operate.

00:41:33.580 It's not enough to say, I'm a really good businessman, but forsake your family. It's not enough to say,

00:41:38.720 I really love my kids, but I can't make any money to support them. It's not enough to say,

00:41:43.600 I really have the relationship stuff dialed down, but I'm a hundred pounds overweight and I don't

00:41:49.120 have the energy that I would like to have. It's not enough to say that you're physically fit,

00:41:54.860 except for you're just drowning in debt because you can't manage your money. You need to have

00:42:00.000 everything locked in. And that's how you create an optimal life, not by exceeding in one area,

00:42:06.660 but by raising your capabilities and your proficiency in all areas.

00:42:13.040 Period.

00:42:14.160 Period. Mic drop.

00:42:16.060 What else?

00:42:17.460 Mark Enders, how did you come up with Order of Man and Iron Council? How did you launch them?

00:42:23.200 How long did each take to launch?

00:42:25.880 So I think we got to be really careful with questions like these because they aren't just

00:42:30.360 like one moment in time where like one day I had this idea and I started a business plan and

00:42:38.280 completed my LLC and launched my website. And now we have 500 members of the Iron Council and 10

00:42:45.540 million downloads. Like it doesn't work like that. So we have to be very, very careful of saying like,

00:42:51.140 one day I just opened the doors and everything was wonderful because that paints a false sense of

00:42:55.360 reality for those who might be inspired by what we're doing and what they want to do personally.

00:43:01.240 So for me, the way that it came about is I was doing another podcast for my financial planning

00:43:08.300 practice. I wanted to learn how to use podcasting to develop and build my podcast or practice and

00:43:14.020 potentially get new clients. And so I did about 20 episodes, realized, man, I really love this medium

00:43:20.000 of podcasting. I don't want to talk about finances only. So let's broaden it. And I was listening to

00:43:25.140 guys like Brett McKay with Art of Manliness and Lewis Howes and John Lee Dumas and Pat Flynn.

00:43:31.960 And I'm like, man, I really liked this idea like of growing a movement and a tribe rallied around

00:43:37.240 some sort of cause or idea. And so I threw my hat into the Order of Man podcast. And when I started,

00:43:44.020 I didn't have any plans of the Iron Council. I didn't have any plans of being four years into this

00:43:49.140 thing and reaching tens of millions of men across the planet. I didn't have any of this stuff planned.

00:43:53.520 I just said, I want to do it. And it grew and it grew and it grew and it started to consume more of

00:43:59.320 my financial planning practice time. And my wife came to me and said, hey, this is great. You're doing

00:44:04.040 a good job. I can see that you're uplifted, that this is satisfying to you, but you're taking away

00:44:09.460 from the family household income because you're not doing as much financial planning. So you need to like

00:44:14.380 scale back or find a way to make some money. And I said, well, I'm not scaling back. I'm going in.

00:44:19.580 And so I figured out a way to make money. I made a course available. I called it the Iron Council.

00:44:24.340 It was in November of 2015, about seven months after I started Order of Man. And I invited 12 men.

00:44:31.540 I had 12 spots. They paid, I think it was a hundred bucks for 12 guys, made 1200 bucks.

00:44:37.800 And we were-

00:44:38.800 Big money.

00:44:39.060 Big money, man. Big money. And we were off to the races, you know, and we opened the full

00:44:44.820 fledged Iron Council. And then one day I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought, man,

00:44:49.100 it'd be just really cool to bring some guys in. I think we, what do we have? 20 guys. Cause we call

00:44:54.300 ourselves the terrible 20. I'm going to bring 20 guys in from all over the country. We're going to

00:44:58.280 do, you know, three and a half days of just man stuff. And I'd put a deposit down on a cabin the next

00:45:04.300 day. And the next day after that, I woke up and thought, what the hell did you just do? And

00:45:09.020 nobody signed up and I had to call the guy. I almost lost my deposit, but he worked with me and

00:45:15.560 we revamped and retooled it a little bit and did it again. And we had 20 guys come. And then,

00:45:21.620 then, you know, not too long ago, I think it was a year and a half ago. I'm like, this would be cool

00:45:25.400 if we did it with sons. And so we created the legacy event and we had 40, 40 guys out for that.

00:45:32.260 Like it, like we just, we just do it. I don't know. I wish I could tell you I had some grand

00:45:36.160 strategy. I don't know if I'm not that smart or I don't, or not that organized, but I'm like,

00:45:41.120 if I have a plan or, or I shouldn't say plan, if I have a thought about something, mark my words,

00:45:46.920 I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. And some of those things are going to fail and flop

00:45:50.880 and other things are going to go really well. And other things are going to be kind of the mediocre.

00:45:55.640 I don't know. I wish I could tell you I had some great strategy or plan, but frankly,

00:45:59.740 it just hasn't been like that at all. It's just been kind of fly by the seat of your pants. And if it

00:46:04.240 works, we keep doing it. If it doesn't, we scrap it and go back to the drawing board.

00:46:08.080 Yeah. But I think at the center of all that, Ryan is you're constantly taking action on,

00:46:12.700 on what you think about or you're trying and you, and you do, you act.

00:46:19.320 Well, I appreciate that.

00:46:20.160 Far too often we don't do that, right?

00:46:21.740 I mean, I'll tell you, I have this, I am, it almost, it's disgusting to me. And I know that

00:46:26.480 might be a harsh word, but I reject, reject completely. It almost makes me throw up in my

00:46:32.320 mouth a little bit. When I think about either me or anybody else who has a thought or an idea,

00:46:37.160 but doesn't take action on it. And because I'm repulsed by that behavior or lack of behavior,

00:46:43.820 I guess, lack of action, it drives me to just try things, you know, just try it.

00:46:49.540 What's the worst that's going to happen? You know, nobody's going to show up. You're going to lose a

00:46:52.780 couple thousand dollars. You're going to lose some time or some sleep, but damn, that's a small price 0.98

00:46:58.960 to pay to know that you're out trying things. And man, some of those things are going to work 0.97

00:47:02.880 really, really well. So I think if we all adopted that mantra of just being completely disgusted and

00:47:09.340 appalled by somebody or even ourselves who had an idea and didn't act on it, we would try to distance

00:47:15.260 ourselves from that, that weakness.

00:47:17.800 Yeah. Phil Derner in relationships. How do you know when it's really time to end it and move on?

00:47:25.020 We seek to take ownership and set the example and work on ourselves. But at some point we must also

00:47:29.880 recognize that things are not going to improve. How do you know this little disclaimer by Phil here?

00:47:35.700 FYI, I'm happy, but my friends ask me this often and I never have a good answer for them.

00:47:42.080 Man, I don't either. I don't either. And I'm always hesitant to answer these ones. Cause I've had

00:47:46.380 guys who I've had a couple of women actually reach out and say, you ruined my marriage.

00:47:52.180 And I'm like, well, I didn't ruin it. You ruined it. You and your husband ruined it. Like if,

00:47:55.780 if it's something as simple as some words that I said that ruined a marriage, then there was

00:47:59.640 something way deeper going on than just some random a-hole talking through the airwaves of

00:48:05.240 podcasting that ruined it. Okay. So that's, so there's more to it. So I'm all, but I am,

00:48:09.940 I am hesitant to answer this. I think, especially when it comes to a marriage, you know,

00:48:14.560 we've given our word and we've, we've made some vows. And I think that we owe it to ourselves

00:48:18.920 and our spouse to go a little bit further than maybe we normally would, um, to invest a lot more

00:48:25.080 energy and time and patience and sacrifice into the relationship than maybe some other random

00:48:31.080 relationship that we have. But I think if you're on the road to improvement and you can look yourself

00:48:38.800 in the mirror and honestly say that you are doing everything you can to develop and build a

00:48:44.640 relationship and honor the commitments that you've made, that you're engaging in hobbies that are

00:48:49.700 edifying and uplifting you, that you're reading books and listening to good podcasts and consuming

00:48:54.460 good information, um, that you're trying to elevate your station at work so you can make more money and

00:48:59.200 provide for your family. And you've got this level of sacrifice. Like if you can say all of those

00:49:04.360 things with a hundred percent confidence and you just don't see that being reciprocated,

00:49:09.700 then I think the first step is to communicate that all too often. We just say, I'm out,

00:49:15.740 I'm out of here. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. And we bail. But I think that is a disservice to

00:49:20.140 yourself and the person you committed to. So communicate that, you know, if you're in that

00:49:24.860 relationship, it's hon, I've been doing all of these things and here's where I've grown and here's

00:49:30.160 where I improved and here's how I've, I've tried to change my life. And I would ask that you do X,

00:49:35.580 Y, and Z that you come on this path with me. I want to walk this path with you, but I haven't

00:49:40.080 felt like you're willing to walk that path. These are the types of conversations. They're difficult,

00:49:45.000 they're awkward, they're uncomfortable, and they might actually lead to, um, a situation in which

00:49:50.440 you don't want, but that's significantly better than just hiding. And then one day blowing up and

00:49:56.120 ending the relationship just on a blowup or a minor disagreement. Um, I, I can't really give

00:50:02.420 you a more clear answer than that because it's not like one moment. It's like, Oh, if this happens,

00:50:07.600 the relationship's over. Don't, don't do anything else. You're out of the relationship,

00:50:12.080 get yourself out. And then of course you have other factors like children and homes and,

00:50:18.360 you know, things that you own together. I mean, there's so much to consider here. I just wish I had

00:50:22.280 a better answer. I don't, you just have to feel it out and do everything you can to improve

00:50:25.680 yourself. Hiram Sims with the three categories, provide, protect, and preside. Do you ever find

00:50:34.740 yourself focusing too much on one and then collecting the other two? If so, how do you

00:50:39.360 prioritize? My father taught me growing up the four F's of fatherhood, faith, family, fitness,

00:50:46.680 and finance in that order. I love it. These are all frameworks, you know, and the, and the more

00:50:52.240 frameworks that you have in place, the more that you can operate within those frameworks because

00:50:56.020 they're designed to serve you well. This is why the patriarchy is so important. Like everybody says

00:51:01.920 that the Patriot, not everybody, there's a, a few people, I should say the vocal minority in society

00:51:07.320 are like down with the patriarchy. It's tyrannical and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, it's not,

00:51:12.300 these are fathers teaching their children, daughters, and sons frameworks that they can use to improve

00:51:20.120 their lives. And, and I love this one. What, what it was, what was it? Faith, family, what? Tell me

00:51:25.320 again, finances. Uh, yeah. Faith, family, fitness, and finance, fitness, and finance. Yeah. I love it.

00:51:32.400 Um, what do you do to make sure that you have these in the right order? You plan out every single day

00:51:37.780 and you make sure that you hit one of the four F's every single day, that there isn't a day that goes

00:51:44.040 by where you don't work on your faith. There isn't a day that goes by where you don't work on your

00:51:48.600 fitness and your family and your finances. Every single day you do one of those things. We do the

00:51:54.780 exact same thing when it comes to our planning method and you get a point every day for one of the

00:52:01.180 four C's. And it's very similar to what you're talking about. Calibration, which is spiritual health,

00:52:07.220 emotional and mental wellbeing that ties into, to faith. Uh, number two is connections, which is your

00:52:15.720 relationship. So family three is condition, which is physical health. And then four is contribution,

00:52:23.440 which is becoming a man of value, which inevitably is going to get you paid more and, and, and work on

00:52:29.020 your finances. So these are frameworks that are very common. It's not something we've created here,

00:52:33.680 but you get a point every day for working on those things. And then through a tracking mechanism that I

00:52:38.660 use and the guys in the iron council use, they can look at it and see, man, I'm killing it.

00:52:44.040 I'm killing it on my condition quadrant. Uh, but I'm really, really falling behind on, uh, the

00:52:51.800 contribution component because they can actually see, you know, I'm a hundred percent here and I'm

00:52:55.900 30% over here. And then they reevaluate and they re-engage and they go back to the drawing board and

00:53:00.660 they figure something else out. Where do I fall short? I fall short on, um, calibration, which is

00:53:07.820 taking care of my spiritual, mental, and emotional wellbeing. That's where I usually fall short.

00:53:12.580 Pretty locked in with the family stuff. Um, because I, I coach teams and every day I'm out playing with

00:53:19.560 my kids. Like I'm pretty dialed in there. Um, I'm, I'm pretty good on the physical fitness stuff. Cause

00:53:25.420 that's just robotic. I just go in every day and it's done. Uh, the becoming a man of value and

00:53:30.960 specifically with regards to finances, that's where I thrive. Like maybe it's because my background's in

00:53:36.000 finance or whatever else, but that, that is always the easiest thing for me to do. But I fall behind

00:53:42.220 on calibration, which is faith and spiritual and emotional wellbeing, but I track it and then I

00:53:46.780 make my adjustments accordingly. Cool. Next question is by Anthony, one of the, um, leaders

00:53:53.520 within the iron council. What is the team hotel? I know. What is the best way to get back to consistent

00:54:00.280 action? Once you fell, uh, fell off or had a bad day, clarity and consistency are said to be the

00:54:06.020 cornerstone of congruency between who you are and who you desire to become. How often should one check

00:54:12.320 in on their vision to ensure that it remains clear in a vivid picture that they follow? How do you

00:54:18.020 utilize vision in accomplishing your personal and professional goals? So I'll give you a little bit

00:54:23.400 of a story here just over the past couple of weeks. Um, and I told you earlier that I've really

00:54:28.100 fallen off and fallen behind on practicing my archery, which happened to be one of my calibration

00:54:33.220 tactics that I would practice for 30 minutes every single day. And I've really, really fallen off

00:54:38.400 and fallen behind on that. So I go out last night and it's probably the first time I've been out

00:54:43.060 with the bow for, I don't know, maybe three weeks or so. And I shot like crap. I mean, just complete 0.99

00:54:50.780 garbage. I was all over the place and I couldn't get it locked in. And I was just getting pissed off 0.92

00:54:55.500 cause I'm a better shot than what I was shooting yesterday. And as I was beating myself up, like

00:55:02.000 what is going on? I could notice myself actually getting worse. I'm just getting worse. I'm like,

00:55:07.860 all right, this is not working. Just stop, put the bow down for a second and just do something else.

00:55:15.260 And so that something else was my son wanted to, um, work on his hitting. So we went out to the field

00:55:20.620 and we took some balls and I worked on his, his, the mechanics of swinging a bat and we just had a

00:55:26.240 really good time. Came back to the bow and I'm like, all right, I just want to start fresh. I

00:55:31.440 don't want to rely on what I used to be doing. I don't want to rely upon what happened earlier in

00:55:35.080 the day. I just want to start completely fresh. What do I need to do right now to make this a good

00:55:40.600 session? And very simply for me, it was to go through my shot suite sequence. So I, I work from my

00:55:46.820 feet up. So I, okay, where's my stance? Where's my hips, my straight up and down, draw the bow.

00:55:53.240 Is my front arm in the right angle? Is my elbow up? Do I have, am I anchored? Like I go through the

00:56:00.020 entire shot sequence and I just let the results go from there, you know, just go through your sequence.

00:56:08.720 And it was a way better session. That, that next session was significantly better for me because I

00:56:14.340 went through the sequence. I started over, I gave myself a clean slate and I really tried to evaluate

00:56:20.640 what I needed to do to improve and how I needed to get better in that session. Life is the same way.

00:56:27.480 It's the exact same way. We get so discouraged and so distraught over what happened yesterday and what

00:56:34.200 happened earlier. And, you know, I got into the argument with my wife or I didn't get the project

00:56:39.540 done on time. Just every day, give yourself a clean slate. I can't remember who said it, but he

00:56:44.720 said every night when I go to sleep, I die. And when I wake up, I'm reborn. I'm paraphrasing a little

00:56:51.260 bit here, but that's how we look at it. Just give yourself a clean slate. All right. You jacked

00:56:56.320 something up, you screwed something up, you messed up. Okay, fine. Wipe it off the slate, rectify it

00:57:03.900 wherever you can. We talked about that in last week's ask me anything and give yourself a clean slate

00:57:08.760 from which to operate and build from the ground up, build from that foundation up. What's next?

00:57:14.140 What's next? What's next? What's next? And what I say to the guys, especially as they're dealing with

00:57:19.900 separations and divorces. And I say, make yourself the project, make yourself the project. It is so

00:57:27.560 rewarding to go into, for example, my shop and have an idea of like, okay, I want to build bunk beds for

00:57:34.020 my kids and then go into the shop and like map it all out and, and figure out what I need for parts

00:57:40.620 and then go into home Depot and buy the parts and buy the hardware and buy the wood and then come

00:57:45.600 back and realize, okay, I drew this, but that's not going to work. So I got to scrap that idea,

00:57:50.320 but how could I fix that? Oh, I can tweak this or adjust this angle. And what, what new joints can I,

00:57:55.440 can I learn? And then you put it together and it's this amazing work of art. And you're like,

00:58:00.280 man, I built that. And I went through all this challenge to do that. So rewarding.

00:58:04.300 Our life should be the same way. Our life should be the exact same way. As we start with this clean

00:58:10.020 slate and you've got a piece of paper out and you're thinking about to Anthony's point,

00:58:13.380 what's my vision? What do I want to accomplish for the future? Like, what are my biggest objectives?

00:58:18.620 When I think about the type of man I want to be, what do I look like? How does that man carry

00:58:22.900 himself? What does he feel like? What's going through his mind? How is he serving other people?

00:58:26.900 What are the specific objectives that are going to allow me to do that? Okay. Now I've got this idea,

00:58:32.240 like what specifically can I do on a daily basis? So you start implementing those things and you look

00:58:37.540 at it at the end of the day and you're like, Oh man, that worked really well. Or you think that

00:58:41.220 didn't work really well. I got to fix that and tweak this and adjust this. It's the battle plan.

00:58:46.080 Guys, it's like, it is the battle plan. How do you improve? How do you fix it when you mess up?

00:58:53.320 How do you keep driving on? How do you have vision? Like the battle plan, do the battle plan

00:58:58.680 and, and just adopt it as your operating system for life. I think it's going to be very hard for you

00:59:05.060 to, to fail if, if you're using that effectively. Ryan, I, I think sometimes I, I, well, I think some

00:59:13.080 guys lose, I don't know, what kind of like the driving force around that battle plan. Um, and,

00:59:20.000 and I've known, and I've done this in the past. I, I'm not doing it currently. Um, but I've known

00:59:24.140 some guys that do this, uh, as well where part of their morning routine is, you know, they tie it to

00:59:30.460 journaling is, um, you know, affirmations or, or visualizations, um, around how they're going to

00:59:37.760 show up for the day. So for, for me, for instance, um, I kind of have a, I don't know, kind of like a

00:59:43.460 code of conduct. If you want to say that, that I read off as part of my journaling process.

00:59:48.360 And after I read that, I actually pull up my calendar and say, okay, I got, you know,

00:59:54.260 I got podcasts with Ryan at nine 30. I got this afternoon meeting with Microsoft. Then I have

01:00:00.500 jujitsu. Then, you know, I pick up the girls taking gymnastics. Like I look at my schedule

01:00:04.660 and based upon the code of conduct that I read, that mission, if you want to call it that,

01:00:10.500 I look at my calendar and say, okay, what, how do I show up to each of those things?

01:00:17.780 Right? Like, how does that man show up as silly as it may sound? How do I show up at jujitsu? 0.91

01:00:24.040 Like when I walk in the room, what's, what's my, like, I visualize it. How would that man show up?

01:00:30.180 How do I show up into that meeting? How do I show up when I come home after a days of work? How do I

01:00:36.380 communicate with my wife and kids? How does dinner go? Right. And, and I really think about those

01:00:41.380 things and it's, or at least for me, it's been really, really powerful because then I'm being

01:00:46.380 intentional and I've already determined how that day is going to go. And don't get me wrong.

01:00:52.520 Sometimes it gets derailed, but it allows me to kind of really be intentional in regards to the

01:00:57.640 silliest things of how do I walk into the building and, and how do I communicate to my team? And,

01:01:03.140 you know, what's the conversations I have with the guys on the mats or how do I roll? Am I passive

01:01:07.700 aggressive? Am I getting after it? I'm not giving up. I'm, you know, pushing myself harder doing the

01:01:13.820 workout for the day and everything else. And so I think sometimes those visions can really allow us

01:01:18.980 to, to remind us, why are we doing those tactics on the battle plan? Why are those tactics important?

01:01:25.540 Because in the grand scheme of things, you said that this was critical. This is what's at, at, at,

01:01:30.780 uh, this is what's at stake, right? When you don't show up, um, and, and just being present to the

01:01:38.360 impact, uh, that we can have in all those four quadrants, right. And, and how it affects our

01:01:43.180 communities, our families and, and everyone else. I think that's well said. Yeah. That's something I

01:01:47.420 don't frankly do all that well is the visualization side of things. Um, maybe it's because I feel like

01:01:52.440 that's internalized, but I could certainly improve that. And I know as I have, um, it's really been a

01:01:57.160 big help in making sure I stay on track and getting back on track when I, when I fall off a

01:02:02.000 little bit. Yeah. When I think every guy's just a little bit different, right? Some guys may need

01:02:06.340 that daily where for you, it's like, all right. In grind, you know, quarterly done, move on,

01:02:13.020 you know, like, and you don't have to remind yourself of what other guys, they may need that

01:02:16.860 affirmation to remind themselves of like what they're working towards and, and why they're doing

01:02:21.600 it. Yeah. A hundred percent. I think that's why it's so important. You know yourself for sure.

01:02:25.340 Yeah. Cool. Jordan Workman, as, as we all work on becoming better men, it's really about embracing

01:02:32.000 change and creating winning habits, routines, and mindsets. Which ones have been key in your life?

01:02:39.460 Uh, habits, mindsets, those types of things. Yeah. Uh, for me, it's understanding that I'm not a victim.

01:02:47.000 And even if I was at one point in some capacity, um, I can't think of what that actually might be,

01:02:52.060 but even if I fall into that, that, that has, that excuse has expired. So it's really just taking

01:02:58.220 life by the horns, right? And realizing that what you want is what you make it or, or excuse me,

01:03:03.700 what, what you want out of life is, is ultimately up to you to make that out of life. Right. Um,

01:03:10.160 that's it. That's it. Yeah. Like, do you have a routine that's been just really awesome for you?

01:03:15.140 Um, for embracing change or what? Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, like a winning habit. You're like,

01:03:21.500 oh man, once I implemented this habit or this routine, it's made a major adjustment for me.

01:03:27.640 Um, I mean the basics that you'd think of, you know, working out, eating right,

01:03:32.080 journaling, that kind of stuff. The big, the biggest thing for me though, I'll tell you guys

01:03:35.760 is just taking 20 minutes before at the end of your day and 20 minutes at the beginning of your day

01:03:42.620 and earmarking that for planning. That has just been so huge. And I know it'd make a huge,

01:03:48.360 huge change in men's lives because they aren't doing it. They just aren't doing it. 0.99

01:03:53.400 What does that look like specifically for you? It's like planning the day, like these critical

01:03:57.020 things need to get done today. And then after action review at the end of the day.

01:03:59.940 Yeah. So the way that it would work for me is at the end of my business day, I do it. I look

01:04:05.260 through my plan and I'm like, okay, what did I accomplish? I got all of these things accomplished.

01:04:09.520 Okay. I've got these two or three items that I need to do.

01:04:12.840 Which one am I going to start with tomorrow morning? Oh, wait, I have a call with Kip at 930.

01:04:16.740 So I can't do that. Okay. I'll plan that here at 1030 or 11. So I just, I just kind of plug it all

01:04:22.260 in. Right. I see. And then I know like the beauty of this is then I can disengage from work and I can

01:04:28.560 go be present with my kids because I've closed it out. I've given it closure. Most men don't give

01:04:34.320 themselves closure at the end of the day. And so their work spills over into their family life.

01:04:38.140 And then of course that, that doesn't help. Then, so I do that with work. Then at the end

01:04:43.180 of the night, I do the same thing. I'm like, all right, did anything change? Did my priorities

01:04:49.140 change? Did I get an email here or there that I need to fix? Okay. I've got my workout clothes out.

01:04:54.580 Um, I've got my, my, my water ready to go. My shoes are laid out. I know what the actual

01:04:59.760 workout is. Here's how the morning's going to go. I get it all. I get it all locked down.

01:05:04.960 Then I wake up about 530, do a little stretching, get cleaned up, get some water in me. And then I'm

01:05:11.000 in at the gym at six o'clock. Um, I go for an hour and then I come home. We do family scripture study.

01:05:18.000 We do family breakfast. The kids are getting ready. I'm getting ready at that point. I come into work,

01:05:22.740 get into work about eight 30. And I say into work, it's in my basement about eight 30.

01:05:28.760 And I take another 20 minutes plan on my day. I look at my emails. I'm like, okay,

01:05:33.320 nothing's really changed. Or I have to change this priority. Cause I got this email

01:05:36.860 and I strategize my day for 20 minutes. And then I just attack and do the same thing every day

01:05:41.960 over and over and over again. Love it. Take a couple more. All right. Benjamin Walston,

01:05:49.260 building your identity, not tied to a job associations and et cetera, standing on your

01:05:55.260 own two feet and knowing who the hell you are. Maybe some thoughts around that. It wasn't really

01:06:01.920 a question, but more of just a statement. I would say this is where vision really comes into play.

01:06:07.040 Like visualizing who you want to be. Uh, when you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you look

01:06:12.740 like? You know, are you thin and fit and lean muscle? Are you strong or are you frail and fragile?

01:06:20.920 A little, little doughy around the midsection? Like what is it that you actually look like?

01:06:25.980 And also how does that feel? Right? How do you feel when you wake up? Are you energized and

01:06:32.400 rejuvenated? Are you not? Um, do you have energy at the end of the day? Are you so exhausted that you

01:06:38.200 just plop your ass on the couch and watch Netflix for four hours? Like in your relationship, you know, 0.99

01:06:44.320 is it, is it, is it healthy? Is it engaged? Are you flirtatious with your wife? Um, are you guys

01:06:50.020 still having sex and are you still intimate and physical and playful with each other? And if not, 0.74

01:06:55.560 like how could you get there right at work? When you show up at work, are you excited about work

01:07:01.120 or are you dreading going to work? Are you one of the guys that say, I can't wait till, you know,

01:07:06.180 it's Monday afternoon. You're like, Oh, only four and a half more days. I can't wait for the

01:07:10.380 weekend. And then on Sunday night, you're just dreading life because you know, you're going to

01:07:14.740 have to go into a job that you despise and you're miserable with. And if that's how you're feeling,

01:07:19.780 what is the alternative to that? Consider that. Think about that. Visualize that. The more you start

01:07:26.060 to visualize and then follow it up with the planning and the strategy and the action to support that

01:07:30.300 vision, the better off you're going to be. A great resource on this is a book by James Allen,

01:07:36.180 As a Man Thinketh. One of my favorite, favorite books out there. Of course, Sovereignty, which is

01:07:41.640 my book, I think would be a big help in identifying who you are, a code of conduct for yourself, how

01:07:47.540 you're going to behave and the beginnings of the battle plan, which is the vision component of this,

01:07:52.580 which I think is really going to help Ben you if this is what you're thinking about and how to

01:07:57.900 create yourself and give yourself a new, improved identity.

01:08:03.300 Yeah. I love that, that he used a phrase creating or be, um, what did he use? What was the exact

01:08:11.680 word? Building your identity. Cause I, I do think it is a build. It is a choice.

01:08:16.260 For sure. And well, it can be, it can be, right? Yeah. And it should be sometimes guys run into

01:08:22.360 default. And so their identity is just whatever it is by default. And other guys are very intentional

01:08:27.680 and deliberate about their identity. And those, those men typically tend to be more successful

01:08:32.620 over long and sustained periods of time. Yeah. David Yancey, when you're, uh, when your kids or spouse

01:08:39.860 have pushed all of your buttons and you try to separate yourself from them, but they keep pushing,

01:08:45.320 how do you retain your composure? You might need to physically remove yourself.

01:08:51.040 No, honestly, like you might, I mean, you might be so infuriated or pissed off or whatever

01:08:57.060 that you just need to, Hey, hon. And I do this with archery. A lot of times, like, hon, I'm just,

01:09:03.360 I got to go out and shoot my bow. Um, you know, keep, would you just keep the kids in here for half an

01:09:08.060 hour or whatever? And she's like, Oh yeah, she gets that. She understands that. Cause I'm,

01:09:10.920 I communicate that with her. Right. Yeah. And being able to have a hobby and an outlet

01:09:15.300 and an activity that engages me that way, um, allows me not to even get to that point as often

01:09:20.920 because I've filled up my tank. Right. The other thing I would say is be careful on how you stack

01:09:29.000 your, your, uh, your day. If your day is back to back to back to back to back appointment,

01:09:34.780 this meeting and that, and that, and like, you have no space for margin. You're going to lose your

01:09:39.060 patience very, very quickly. At least that's been my experience. The more margin I have in my life

01:09:44.580 to decompress, like I've got a meeting here in the next seven minutes, that's not enough time for me

01:09:49.900 to decompress. Ideally I would have set it up so that I was, you and I finished. And then I had a

01:09:56.560 half an hour to decompress. Think about what we talked about, transition into my next meeting in

01:10:01.640 the mindset for that. And I've noticed that I get more stressed out and impatient when I don't give

01:10:08.140 myself space, margin, and time to switch between activities and meetings and things like that.

01:10:15.680 Copy. Well, let's, let's wrap up with Paul's question here. It's a quick one. I think,

01:10:19.580 um, Paul simmered, who is your Holy Grail podcast guest?

01:10:25.720 Hmm. My Holy Grail pot. I usually keep a list. Let me, let me look here. I, I usually,

01:10:30.620 I have a list of people, um, Jordan Peterson, Jordan Peterson's on the list. Um, Steve Rinella

01:10:38.460 is on the list. Rich Froning is on the list. Um, Joe Rogan, of course is on the list. Ben Shapiro.

01:10:46.620 I do have Keanu Reeves on the list. Cause I think that would be sweet. Um, Joe Rogan,

01:10:53.420 Ben Shapiro, who has a new book out. I've reached out to his team multiple times. Can't get,

01:10:57.380 can't hear back from him. GSP. He's on the list right here. George St. Pierre is on the list.

01:11:04.040 Have I talked with you about this list or have you, are you spying on my list? I've just added

01:11:07.680 my own items to your list. Those, the couple that you've mentioned are already on this list.

01:11:12.640 Um, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Tim Ferriss. Mike Rowe. Mike Rowe's on there. JJ Watt,

01:11:19.580 I think would be a bad-ass interview. Um, you have a lot of Holy Grails.

01:11:27.380 I have a lot, man. Well, like if you don't have a plan, Tim Tebow is on the list as well.

01:11:33.340 Like if you don't have a plan, like how are you going to make this stuff work?

01:11:37.920 Totally. You know? So I mean, I'm not going to say that just having them listed is enough,

01:11:43.260 but it's the start. And it was funny because I knew that I was going to be asked this question

01:11:51.060 because I saw this question come up and I actually pulled this up. So I had it ready for you guys,

01:11:54.640 but I was going through and I actually deleted seven people off of this list that I had already

01:12:00.080 interviewed. Hell yeah. Which is cool. It's like, I mean, there's, there's research that shows even

01:12:05.660 just writing something down makes it much more likely to happen. So yeah, that's, that's who's,

01:12:10.160 that's who's on the list right now. That's awesome. Yeah, man. All right. So guys, AMA,

01:12:16.300 ask me anything. You can submit your questions to this episode of the podcast, uh, via the Facebook

01:12:22.640 group at facebook.com slash group slash order of man. Or if you're part of our exclusive brotherhood,

01:12:28.980 the iron council, uh, this is one of the perks of being in the IC and you can learn more about the

01:12:34.480 iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. You can connect with Mr. Mickler on

01:12:40.560 Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler. That's R Y A N M I C H L E R. Uh, we do have just a quick

01:12:49.340 reminder, August 25th through September 1st is the origin main, uh, jujitsu immersion camp.

01:12:55.240 We're going to be out there for the full week. If you get signed up, use the following URL,

01:13:00.560 origin, main.com slash order camp. And that puts you onto the list to get hooked up with the order

01:13:07.960 of man rash guard. Um, and kind of to be honest with you, so we can connect to, I'm assuming Ryan,

01:13:14.260 we could pull from that list and, and make sure that we're connecting with all the guys. That's,

01:13:17.840 that's part of the order. And that's coming out to Maine, uh, during that event.

01:13:22.340 Yeah. Yeah, that's absolutely right. And we want to connect with you. So if you are coming out there,

01:13:26.260 we want to make sure you were connected that way and letting you know when we get in and being able

01:13:29.880 to do some stuff. Hopefully by then I'll be out there. And if I am out there, which we should be,

01:13:35.860 um, then we'll probably do a dinner or something like an order, man, dinner the night before or

01:13:39.780 something like that. And, uh, and have some guys out to my place. Cool. And for you guys that want to

01:13:44.260 represent the order with some swag, uh, check out store.orderofman.com for your shirts, hats,

01:13:52.080 flags, decals, and more, um, Hoyt giveaway. Are we up or we still have a little open window?

01:13:58.580 No, we have a little bit of window. Um, you got to get it done by Sunday, this Sunday,

01:14:03.040 the 31st. If you go to order of man.com slash Hoyt, H O Y T, you can, uh, enter the giveaway for

01:14:08.840 the brand new Hoyt helix, which we're giving away on April 1st. And I've had some people say,

01:14:13.480 is this an April fool's joke? It is not an April fool's joke. We are legitimately giving away 0.97

01:14:19.260 a Hoyt bow. Maybe, I don't know, maybe Hoyt's pulling a joke on me. I don't know, but they said

01:14:23.700 they're giving us a bow. So it's a painting of a Hoyt helix or like a little, like a little

01:14:28.860 figurine of one or something. Yeah. It's a toy. So order of man.com slash Hoyt. I think that's all we

01:14:35.260 have going on right now. I'm, uh, scaled back on events and things like that for the next little

01:14:40.520 bit while we get out to our new property. So that's where things are at, man. Cool.

01:14:45.460 I think it's a wrap. All right. All right, guys. Appreciate you. Glad to be on this journey with

01:14:49.540 you. Need more men in this fight. If you would, please do me a favor. All right, just go do me a

01:14:54.420 favor. It's going to take you two minutes. Go leave us a rating and review. Let us know how wonderful

01:14:59.780 I am as your host and how where Kip needs to improve as the co-host. And, uh, no, let us

01:15:07.260 know what you think about the show guys, those ratings and reviews that go really, really long

01:15:10.900 way. And the more men that are in this fight, the more relevant this battle becomes, the more

01:15:16.160 relevant this movement becomes, which ultimately allows us to serve you better because we can get

01:15:21.140 some of these people on the podcast that we've got on our, on our target list. And man, we're just

01:15:26.680 going to be able to put a lot more resources out there. So I'd ask that you do your part

01:15:30.120 by sharing, leaving a rating review and helping us grow this movement like you have. So that's

01:15:34.300 it guys. Uh, until Tuesday. Yes. Tuesday. I think we've got Elliot Hulse. I believe it

01:15:39.620 is Elliot Hulse on Tuesday show. You guys will love that one. Very, very interesting, very

01:15:43.780 fascinating, cover a lot of topics we haven't talked about in the past. Um, so make sure you

01:15:47.600 subscribe as well. So until then go out guys and take action and become the man you are meant

01:15:52.400 to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:15:56.640 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join

01:16:00.880 the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 27, 2019

Developing Patience, Pushing Outside Comfort Zones, and Embracing Change ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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