Order of Man - Developing Presence, Improving the Quality of Life, and Establishing Work⧸Life Balance

00:00:00.060 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.100 Kim, what's up, man? Glad to have you back on the Ask Me Anything. It's been a couple of weeks.

00:00:28.020 And it is really good to be back. It's good to be back at my desk at the office and being productive and working.

00:00:35.860 But it's silly. All that you and I are doing and reading off questions and giving our opinions about things.

00:00:44.260 But it helps me so much. It's just a huge value at just to go through these questions and have these kind of conversations.

00:00:52.640 I mean, it helps me. So I'm excited to be back at it.

00:00:57.440 I wish I was able to pull it off when I was in Hawaii, but between Wi-Fi and I didn't have the proper equipment.

00:01:03.220 Yeah.

00:01:03.840 Well, you want to enjoy it too. Just taking that downtime.

00:01:06.700 But I don't think it's silly to want to be part of this, obviously, because I'm a little bit of a kind of a part of this thing.

00:01:15.480 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:15.960 But I don't think it's silly. Like there's meaning. There's meaning to it, right?

00:01:19.100 So I don't think it's silly at all to think that we're just having these conversations.

00:01:22.440 And one of the interesting things about this too is I get just as much value when I articulate my thoughts as I hope other people do.

00:01:30.920 And that's one of the unintended values of this is that as I'm talking or when I wrote the book or sharing on the podcast or doing whatever it is, it helps me think more clearly about my thought process and opens me up to new ideas or new thoughts and helps me to more clearly articulate what I think.

00:01:52.580 Yeah, for sure. There's been multiple times during the podcast where, you know, you share something or I share something and I think, yeah, I need to address this issue or I need to change this way of being as a result of this conversation.

00:02:09.300 Right, right. Yeah, definitely.

00:02:11.080 It's good.

00:02:12.040 Cool, man.

00:02:12.360 Well, guys, if you don't know what we're doing here, this is the weekly Ask Me Anything. So we are answering questions from – I think we're – are we just from Iron Council today or maybe get into some Facebook questions?

00:02:22.580 Or where are we at? I don't exactly know where we're at in questions.

00:02:25.900 Yeah, I think we're going to probably be mostly Iron Council today with maybe a few Facebook.

00:02:31.500 Cool. Right on. Well, should we get right into it then?

00:02:34.640 Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

00:02:36.020 Okay, man.

00:02:36.860 Yeah, so first off, guys, Facebook, facebook.com slash group slash order of man is how you join us on that secured Facebook group where Ryan every so often creates the opportunity for you guys to submit questions to this episode.

00:02:50.940 And then, of course, our Iron Council questions come from the Iron Council.

00:02:54.580 You can learn more about theironcouncil.org at orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

00:02:58.800 All right.

00:02:59.300 So to our Iron Council men, Zach Grimes, I've been thinking about the concepts of a minimal viable product and rejecting mediocrity and embracing excellence.

00:03:11.020 Are these two ideas compatible?

00:03:13.160 Can I be accepting of introducing a minimal viable product if it is not excellent?

00:03:18.840 Well, that's the point of a minimum viable product, that it's not going to be completely dialed in, right?

00:03:25.000 But the idea is that you put something out there that is, quote unquote, acceptable at first, and then you grow and you expand and you make it better and you refine it and you craft it and you mold it and you shape it.

00:03:36.860 I think you can actually do both.

00:03:38.780 I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, but let's take the Iron Council, for example.

00:03:42.820 I launched the Iron Council before I was, quote unquote, ready, but I put something out in the world that was valuable.

00:03:49.500 We had 12 guys sign up.

00:03:50.960 I think it was November of 2015.

00:03:53.160 And as we've done different things with the Iron Council and added features and benefits and taken some things away and added different things and tweaked other things, it's gotten better and better and better.

00:04:04.080 So, I don't think they're at odds with each other.

00:04:06.980 I just think you have to put something out into the world to, well, there's a lot of reasons.

00:04:13.020 Number one is it gives yourself a victory.

00:04:15.140 That was the biggest thing for me.

00:04:16.440 When I put out the Iron Council and I said, hey, I got 12 spots and I sold it out overnight, there was a victory there in that I knew people were willing to pay for the value, the perceived value at that point that I was offering.

00:04:28.320 And that was very liberating because then I understood, oh, this is viable.

00:04:34.160 This is something I can do.

00:04:35.760 That doesn't mean that just because I put it out that I'm never going to expand or grow or make it better.

00:04:40.280 It just means that I wanted to see if I could and I could and then we evolve and grow and perfect it from there.

00:04:46.020 I don't think this is a new idea and I certainly don't think they're at odds with each other.

00:04:49.640 Kip, I'm sure you do the same thing in your business.

00:04:51.520 Take Apple, you know, one of the biggest organizations, companies ever in the history of mankind and they refine and they hone and they put out a product and it gets better and better and better each and every time.

00:05:04.800 And it's just how it works, how business works.

00:05:08.180 Yeah.

00:05:08.500 And in the world of startups, Zach, like you need to do this.

00:05:13.240 Like it's not like, oh, should I?

00:05:15.000 No, you should do a minimal viable product.

00:05:18.000 And let me explain why.

00:05:20.820 The idea is there's some personal wins, there's some growth, there's some learning of the unknowns that you're going to get by releasing a product that is minimal.

00:05:31.060 But the other aspect is part of testing the market, right?

00:05:35.420 If you sit back and build like the most perfect solution and then all of a sudden you go, let me throw in the market and then you determine that there's not a market for it, that there's not a niche for it, then that is not excellent at all.

00:05:49.860 You just flopped and invested tons of money.

00:05:52.780 Yeah, waste a lot of time and resources.

00:05:54.400 Yeah.

00:05:54.800 So if your excellence is about the product, great.

00:05:58.220 But here's the key too, because this is one of the best analogies I've ever heard.

00:06:02.600 Some people think of an MVP – let's say we're building a car.

00:06:07.760 Some people think that the MVP is the car without a motor and wheels.

00:06:12.600 That is incorrect.

00:06:14.040 Right, because it's not viable.

00:06:16.040 Exactly.

00:06:17.020 The MVP is a skateboard.

00:06:19.500 It does its job.

00:06:21.700 And then the next iteration is a bike.

00:06:24.240 Then it's a car.

00:06:25.800 Then it's a sports car, right?

00:06:27.960 And then it's a Lamborghini or whatever, right?

00:06:30.020 Like it does its job.

00:06:32.020 It does it well.

00:06:33.400 But it's minimal in feature.

00:06:35.320 So you could still be – have excellent.

00:06:37.220 It can still get you from point A to point B, right?

00:06:40.960 So it still needs to be viable.

00:06:42.860 So I just – we look at it wrong sometimes and think, oh, it's a car without wheels.

00:06:47.000 Well, yeah, yeah, you're right if you look at it that way.

00:06:49.380 That is not excellent.

00:06:50.480 It doesn't work.

00:06:51.320 It's broken.

00:06:52.840 So just be mindful.

00:06:54.780 But this is – I've worked with a lot of startups from a development perspective.

00:06:59.080 This is what we do.

00:07:00.440 This is what startups do.

00:07:01.640 You create minimal viable products.

00:07:02.860 And one of the biggest things, from my opinion, is really around getting into the market and testing the market out, right?

00:07:10.960 And confirming and working out kinks.

00:07:12.960 And there's many different benefits, so.

00:07:15.820 Yeah.

00:07:16.400 I mean, just in you talking about this, the thing I think about is break that up into three distinct ideas.

00:07:22.660 Minimum, right?

00:07:23.840 Minimum.

00:07:24.340 What is the minimum that you can do to actually put it out into the world?

00:07:27.480 But it also has to be viable.

00:07:29.280 It has to work.

00:07:30.200 If it doesn't work, then the whole thing blows apart.

00:07:32.500 And then product.

00:07:33.460 It has to be something deliverable.

00:07:34.900 Something that you can offer and something that solves a problem.

00:07:37.240 So, if it doesn't hit any of those or even if it doesn't hit one of those, then it's not a minimum viable product.

00:07:43.840 It might be a minimum product, but it's not viable or vice versa.

00:07:48.840 So, yeah, you got to hit it all.

00:07:51.000 Totally.

00:07:51.600 And it's funny, Ryan.

00:07:52.800 Last episode, you talked about some – you brought up the subject of you can choose to be right and not grow or you can be open to growth, right?

00:08:06.460 This is the same thing about a minimal viable product.

00:08:08.880 It's not about getting the right product the first time.

00:08:13.320 It's about determining what the long-term right product is.

00:08:16.620 It's testing.

00:08:17.160 Definitely.

00:08:18.100 Yeah, it's testing.

00:08:19.080 It's pivoting.

00:08:19.840 Put it out, pivot, adjust, right?

00:08:21.860 Yep.

00:08:22.280 And work through it.

00:08:23.340 I'm curious.

00:08:24.520 I have a good friend that has been highly successful and he had a startup, moved to Utah from New York.

00:08:33.580 Look, his original product is not even what he does now, but he wouldn't have developed the product they did today if it wasn't for him trying out another product and then pivoting.

00:08:45.780 That's right.

00:08:46.340 Right?

00:08:46.800 So, yeah, that's how it is.

00:08:49.740 All right.

00:08:49.980 Cool.

00:08:50.200 Aaron Goats, when will we be able to tag – I'm skipping this question, Aaron.

00:08:55.780 He's just asking a question about tagging in Mighty Networks within the Iron Council.

00:09:00.320 Oh, yeah.

00:09:00.540 That's a better question, technical question.

00:09:02.400 Hit up Drew or something like that, but probably not a question for AMA.

00:09:05.980 Yeah.

00:09:06.260 Sorry.

00:09:06.940 I should have read a little bit further.

00:09:08.720 You should have.

00:09:09.420 You absolutely should have.

00:09:10.740 I know.

00:09:11.640 I'm losing my –

00:09:12.840 You're losing your touch, man.

00:09:13.680 You've been hanging out in Hawaii for too long.

00:09:16.480 Yeah.

00:09:17.120 Everything – hey, chill, bro.

00:09:18.220 No worries.

00:09:18.700 All right.

00:09:20.740 Bubba Downs, how does it feel for the totally badass Curve Brand Hats to be outperforming somewhat of the mediocre style that is the flat?

00:09:29.280 Well, I know you are ultimate winner regardless which does better.

00:09:32.940 I have some to take in the game and I feel a certain level of validation with this new revelation.

00:09:38.920 Did a little piece of your heart die when you made this post?

00:09:41.980 I think Bubba is assuming a lot there, but –

00:09:44.320 Yeah, I think he's assuming that I care.

00:09:46.020 Like, I know I like to razz the guys and give everybody a hard time and there's this little internal battle in the order of man between flat brims and curved brims.

00:09:56.480 Honestly, I don't care what you wear.

00:09:59.340 That's why I sell both.

00:10:01.560 Yeah.

00:10:01.740 It doesn't matter to me like it seems to matter to so many guys what kind of hat somebody wears.

00:10:08.520 Like, I really don't care.

00:10:09.660 It makes me wonder like are these guys walking down the airport and they see like a flat brim hat and they're like under their breath.

00:10:16.780 They're like, dick.

00:10:17.840 You know what I mean?

00:10:18.360 I just wonder if there's like other things to – like having fun is one thing, but then I just wonder if like there's other things to like focus on.

00:10:26.960 All right.

00:10:27.840 Nicholas Bean, what is the quadrant that is most important to you right now and why?

00:10:32.980 There isn't one that's most important.

00:10:35.060 That's why I address all four of them.

00:10:37.060 Yeah.

00:10:37.660 I mean, if there was one that was more important, that's all I would focus on.

00:10:42.340 But I'm interested in being a well-rounded individual, so I have to focus on all of them.

00:10:46.560 I focus on calibration, taking care of myself.

00:10:49.640 I focus on relationships.

00:10:51.960 I focus on connection, which is the physical component.

00:10:56.380 And then contribution, being a man of value.

00:10:59.280 All four of them are important to me.

00:11:00.980 That's why I focus on all four of them.

00:11:02.300 Now, throughout the day, I might focus more heavily on one than another.

00:11:05.880 You know, in the morning, for example, is my condition component where I'm focusing on my physical health.

00:11:10.600 At that point, connection is less relevant because that's not the arena I'm in.

00:11:16.600 I'm focused on condition.

00:11:18.660 If I'm spending time with my kids, putting together Legos, for example, well, then I'm not focused on condition.

00:11:26.040 I'm focused on connection, which is the relationship component.

00:11:28.500 So, my thought is, rather than saying, this is the most important, it's all important.

00:11:33.280 It's all important.

00:11:34.400 Everything is significant.

00:11:36.360 But rather than just saying we only do one, I would take the approach of that when you're engaged in the one, that it is the most important in that moment.

00:11:48.460 Right?

00:11:49.160 Right?

00:11:49.780 So, if I'm doing this podcast with you, but I'm also checking emails and tagging people on social media and listening to what my family's doing downstairs, then I'm not paying this the attention that it deserves.

00:12:01.840 So, it's not that one is more important than another, but when you're engaged in that one, that is the most important thing.

00:12:08.420 Yeah.

00:12:08.620 I like that distinction.

00:12:10.480 That's actually really insightful.

00:12:13.860 Thank you.

00:12:14.320 Let's mic drop or done.

00:12:16.020 Well, I think, and let me say this extra little additional thing here is I think a lot of guys have problems with presence.

00:12:20.980 I know I certainly do.

00:12:22.020 I'm not above having this problem.

00:12:24.300 What I mean by presence is being present in the moment.

00:12:27.540 Right?

00:12:27.740 We're so, we live in this age of distraction.

00:12:29.460 Whatever we're doing, we can be doing a hundred other things.

00:12:33.560 There's so much clamoring for our attention, whether it's podcast or some sort of marketing or food that we can eat or radio, you know, that we can listen to and songs that we can absorb and books that we can read.

00:12:46.460 We just live in this age of distraction.

00:12:48.380 And in many ways, it's very wonderful.

00:12:50.580 But in many ways, it's not so wonderful.

00:12:53.160 And what it's caused us to do is to feel entitled to be entertained at any given moment with a thousand different inputs when maybe all we really need is one.

00:13:02.180 So yesterday, my workout, I got this from a friend, Sean Whalen.

00:13:06.580 I know a lot of you guys know who Sean is.

00:13:07.900 He said, do two deadlifts every minute for 45 minutes at 80% of your one rep max.

00:13:15.940 So that's what I did for my workout yesterday.

00:13:17.960 And typically, I hate those type of workouts because it requires some sustained focus.

00:13:23.400 And then that tends to be a challenge.

00:13:25.280 It takes time.

00:13:25.800 It takes time.

00:13:26.720 And there's these chipper workouts.

00:13:28.020 You can't just get it done quicker.

00:13:28.780 Right.

00:13:29.300 Like I love the 20-minute workouts or the 12-minute workouts because I can just crank through it real quick and do max volume and get it done.

00:13:35.620 But I did this deliberately and intentionally because that's an area that I need to focus on.

00:13:40.500 And just to be present in the moment and just be fully there while I was listening to some music and just doing my deadlifts, it was very, very powerful.

00:13:50.560 And it was a good session.

00:13:51.820 I felt good about completing it.

00:13:53.480 And I improved because I was present in the moment.

00:13:56.180 Yeah.

00:13:56.640 I have a great example, if you don't mind me sharing, Ryan.

00:13:58.920 And, in fact, before we hit record, I was talking about talking with Dominic and the Iron Council.

00:14:06.240 And him and I were just – it was kind of funny.

00:14:08.860 Like I think it was a random phone call and we talked about just, I don't know, 10 different topics in the conversation.

00:14:14.440 And I'm like, all right, see you, man.

00:14:15.540 It was like really odd.

00:14:16.680 I'm like, oh, that was a really nice conversation.

00:14:19.180 But in the many topics that we talked about, one of them was about being present when you come home to your family and not lashing out at them and being angry or whatever.

00:14:32.280 And I was sharing with him that in my past, I used to come home from work and be thinking about work and then try to be a dad and play with my kids and get them ready and do homework and those kind of things.

00:14:50.580 And I was trying to do it all at the same time.

00:14:52.720 And I was a complete jerk, complete jerk.

00:14:55.600 I was on eggshells.

00:14:56.600 I was angry.

00:14:57.400 I was – you know what I mean?

00:14:58.680 They're not being efficient.

00:14:59.420 I have all these stresses or whatever and this is in my earlier years and I – man, I could not deal.

00:15:07.140 I mean I was just being a horrible dad and it was just a toxic, really like negative feeling, right, in my home.

00:15:17.500 And I finally got to the point where I'm like almost kind of this, you know, a little bit of like an effort mentality of just throwing my hands up and say, you know what?

00:15:26.220 It doesn't matter.

00:15:26.700 It doesn't – I don't care.

00:15:27.960 It doesn't matter like about work and I just get on the ground and play Legos and play Nerf and be a kid, fully engaged with them.

00:15:37.460 And then it's like, whoa, they're in a better mood now.

00:15:42.180 They're fully engaged with me.

00:15:43.820 We're having a happy, joyful scenario.

00:15:46.300 And then after I put them to bed, then I can stress out about work again.

00:15:49.680 Sure.

00:15:49.700 Or just do a – oh, keep going and I'll give you a strategy.

00:15:53.520 I was just saying it was such a negative – me trying to be multitasking and not being fully present was super negative to my relationship with my kids when they're younger.

00:16:04.980 Yeah.

00:16:05.420 Yeah.

00:16:05.720 I mean I think most of us have been there.

00:16:07.280 One strategy I'd give the guys is to create – and I talk about this a lot – create margin in your life.

00:16:15.060 So if you think about your life, we're so – not only are we distracted, but we're so packed in with our schedules, right?

00:16:22.940 So it's like, okay, I have this appointment and then 20 minutes later – or not even that.

00:16:26.300 Like after this appointment's over, I had three minutes before the next one.

00:16:29.200 And then another five minutes before the next one.

00:16:30.740 And we give ourselves just enough time to get to the next thing.

00:16:32.780 And we time out our drives to see how long it's going to take so we can schedule it just right.

00:16:36.580 And our schedules are packed.

00:16:39.020 And so what I've noticed for myself is when I'm busy with work and I give myself no time to unwind between the transition of work and family,

00:16:48.340 I let work spill over into family.

00:16:51.020 And it takes a good amount of time for work to kind of go by the wayside.

00:16:55.640 So what if we were just a little bit more intentional about that?

00:16:58.540 And before our day was over, let's say just for the sake of argument, our day ended at 5 o'clock, that at 4.45 we were done.

00:17:08.020 And from 4.45 to 5 o'clock was an unwind time.

00:17:12.540 It was tying up some loose ends and it was just a planning and transitionary time.

00:17:17.620 So for me, what I will do is I will write out my schedule for the next day.

00:17:21.440 I'll organize my desk space so it's just right so when I come in and I'll close up any loose ends.

00:17:26.800 And if I didn't close a loose end, I'll make a note and I'll plug it into my calendar for the next day.

00:17:30.900 Oh, I forgot to call Kip.

00:17:32.300 I'll call him at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.

00:17:35.500 Now I can go into my next activity, for example, with my kids and not be consumed and stressed out and overwhelmed with all of the things that I failed to do at work.

00:17:46.820 So I think lashing out and not being present is actually a time management and a productivity issue.

00:17:53.740 Yeah.

00:17:54.680 And I do the same thing with every facet of my life.

00:17:57.960 If I'm going to jujitsu, I give myself extra time because if I come home from jujitsu and I'm like, okay, if I come home and then I'll spend time with my wife, okay, well, where am I going to shower?

00:18:06.020 Where am I going to clean up?

00:18:07.240 Where am I going to think about what I could have done differently as jujitsu the night before?

00:18:10.920 Like these are all things that I create that space and that margin before and after activities as a transitionary unwinding opportunity for me to be fully engaged and present in the next activity I'm about to step into.

00:18:23.940 Yeah.

00:18:25.440 It's good, man.

00:18:27.160 All right.

00:18:27.700 Next question, Moose Abdul Wahid, as someone doing the work of reclaiming masculinity, do you think you are discovering the man you truly are or do you think you are creating the man you've decided to be?

00:18:40.360 I like that.

00:18:41.500 I like that question.

00:18:43.140 I know.

00:18:43.500 Because on the surface you think, well, there's no distinction, but there really is.

00:18:48.560 Okay.

00:18:48.740 So let me back up here.

00:18:49.760 The first part of that is, am I creating the man I want to be or the man I'm capable of being?

00:18:56.580 Like, uh, he used the, and I think the verbiage is critical.

00:19:00.380 Are you, do you think that you're discovering the man you truly are or that you're creating that man?

00:19:07.960 Um, it's probably a bit of both, but I would lean more towards creation.

00:19:13.380 Yeah, me too.

00:19:14.600 I would lean more toward, because we talk a lot about intentionality and being deliberate.

00:19:19.380 And I would say that that is something I try to do, which is why we do the battle planning.

00:19:23.440 And we talk a lot about systems and processes and identifying a vision for ourselves in the future.

00:19:29.420 And all of that takes a creationary act, right?

00:19:32.380 We're acting towards the purpose of something else.

00:19:36.540 Um, discovery could just kind of mean you're stumbling into something.

00:19:41.500 You fell upon it.

00:19:42.440 It's a little bit more passive from my perspective.

00:19:45.200 Um, I, I don't know this, this could even get into a much deeper question, which is, does God have a plan for us or not?

00:19:54.860 Is there fate, right?

00:19:57.320 Yeah.

00:19:57.860 I don't, I, it's weird.

00:20:00.340 I've always kind of thought that there is, there is an ultimate plan for us.

00:20:04.020 And when I say that, what some people will say, well, doesn't that take away your agency?

00:20:08.300 No, because we don't know what the plan is.

00:20:11.060 If we knew what the plan was, that might take away some of the agency.

00:20:14.140 But because we don't know what the plan is, we still have our agency and how we act.

00:20:19.240 So I believe there is, there are things that we're meant to do.

00:20:23.700 I believe there's, there's reasons that we're here.

00:20:26.400 Uh, I believe that we all have a calling if you want to use that word, but I also believe that you have the power to discover or excuse me, to create what that is, who that is, how you're showing up and then making the best of opportunities and even negative situations that you're going to encounter in your life.

00:20:47.260 So I would definitely lean more towards creating versus discovering.

00:20:52.780 Yeah.

00:20:53.260 And what's interesting is that if you think that you are not creating, you are, we, we, everyone has already created the man they are being, whether you're being intentional in that creation or not.

00:21:08.980 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:21:10.200 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:21:11.100 So we are creating and, and I like creating for both ends of that spectrum because if, if I'm creating something negative by not being intentional about it, then why would that change if I'm focused on becoming a better man?

00:21:24.000 Like it's still creation, right?

00:21:26.000 Well, and here's what, here's one thing I would consider too, is I've always thought this, not, not so much recently, but in the past I've thought a lot about what the heck is the point of, uh, of philosophy.

00:21:36.960 Philosophy, right?

00:21:38.000 Cause I thought philosophy was just about questioning and asking dumb questions that don't need to be asked and pondering on things that are irrelevant or, or nuanced or trivial.

00:21:48.640 Yeah.

00:21:49.080 But what I'm realizing is that it's only philosophy, cause this is a very philosophical question that philosophy is only as powerful as it leads you to take the type of action that you want to take.

00:22:01.140 Right?

00:22:01.640 So, so this is a great question, but you've got to ask, well, why am I asking this question?

00:22:07.500 Cause is it just a, is it just to like ponder on it or is it to drive me towards some action?

00:22:13.580 So if using the term discovery helps drive you to finding out who you're meant to be, then I would say use that definition.

00:22:22.300 Yeah.

00:22:22.920 You use what causes you to get out the stool and actually do something.

00:22:26.720 That's exactly right.

00:22:27.480 So I don't know that the answer, I don't know that hearing my answer as as important as what your answer is and what it's going to cause you to do.

00:22:37.980 Because if, if discovery is more powerful to you than creation, use discovery.

00:22:42.660 If creation is more powerful than discovery, use creation.

00:22:46.280 I want to be more intentional.

00:22:48.500 I want to be very active and assertive in my role of becoming who, who I want to be.

00:22:53.700 Therefore, creation is something that, that, uh, compels me a little bit more than I think discovery does.

00:23:00.060 Yeah.

00:23:01.680 Brian Grogan, how would you define quality of life?

00:23:05.900 We have all kinds of philosophy going on today.

00:23:08.400 Um, I think this is similar to the question about success.

00:23:11.520 How do you define success?

00:23:13.080 Uh, for me, it's autonomy.

00:23:14.760 Very simply, it's autonomy because I can't define what success is for you, Kip.

00:23:18.000 You can't define it for me and we can't define it for anybody else on this podcast.

00:23:20.800 You know, I use the word ought to and should occasionally, but, but really, I mean, I,

00:23:27.140 what do I, what do I know about your life?

00:23:28.640 What do I know about what, what success is for you?

00:23:31.220 You know, as being 30% body fat successful for you, then, then great, you know?

00:23:36.480 And that could be right.

00:23:37.780 And it very well could be, cause you could be 35% and being down to 30, it could be a

00:23:41.840 very valuable thing for you.

00:23:42.920 And so who am I to say, well, that's, that's not success.

00:23:46.640 Why?

00:23:47.000 Maybe it's not his ultimate measure, but it's successful if he's gone down from 35

00:23:51.800 down to 30, right?

00:23:54.200 So, um, but, but when you're talking about quality of life, I think it's autonomy.

00:23:58.940 It's being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it and why you want to do it

00:24:04.640 and not really have to explain yourself to anybody else.

00:24:08.220 I think we lose some of that.

00:24:09.860 For example, when I think about quality of life, I think about people in, uh, assisted

00:24:14.360 living centers and communities, right?

00:24:15.860 It's like, they don't have as high a quality of life because they've limited their, their

00:24:19.740 autonomy that they aren't as free or sovereign in a lot of ways to do what it is they want

00:24:25.960 to do when they want to do it and why they want to do it.

00:24:29.060 So quality of life is very important.

00:24:31.080 Um, autonomy is very important.

00:24:32.460 And because autonomy is important to me, then that's what drives me to be disciplined, right?

00:24:36.200 So we, we hear Aristotle, when he talked about through discipline comes freedom, he said

00:24:40.600 that 2000 years ago, Jocko says, discipline equals freedom.

00:24:43.240 I mean, that's very, very much true.

00:24:45.200 I it's, is it free to go into the gym and work out every morning?

00:24:50.780 Some might say, well, that's not really freedom.

00:24:53.060 That's like, you're compelling yourself to do that.

00:24:55.040 I do that so that I can be more autonomous, that I can be healthier, that I can live a higher

00:25:01.100 quality of life, that I can do the things that I want to do when I want to do them and

00:25:04.700 why I want to do them and not have to answer to anybody else or be subject to anybody else

00:25:11.460 or even my body.

00:25:12.800 You know, if I'm, if, if, if I'm dealing with health situations, let's say it's diabetes,

00:25:17.180 for example, that's, I'm subject to that a little bit.

00:25:21.100 And there's some things that I need to deal with because of that.

00:25:22.980 So I'm trying to eliminate those things from my life by gaining new knowledge, by staying

00:25:27.840 in shape, by developing skills and learning how to communicate and learning how to lead

00:25:32.580 more effectively so that I am in complete control of my life to the degree that I can be.

00:25:38.000 So powerful, man.

00:25:41.520 Um, one thing that I thought just on, on Brian's question about the quality of life is just

00:25:46.760 to reiterate is, and I always slaughter the title of this book, but, um, what you were

00:25:52.820 quoted in it, it's a wellness book or it's a, it's a financial book.

00:25:59.080 Uh, and he quoted you in it.

00:26:00.600 What give me?

00:26:01.140 Oh, um, oh, darn it.

00:26:04.960 You're talking about Austin Netsley, I think.

00:26:07.720 Yeah, I think so.

00:26:08.980 But, but one of the things I loved about that book was like, well, you needed to find what

00:26:13.080 wellness is or not wellness, what financial freedom looks like.

00:26:17.740 Like what is financial freedom?

00:26:19.320 Not like I want lots of money.

00:26:20.860 It's, oh no, uh, financial wellbeing could be, I want to go on vacation five, five times

00:26:27.040 a year.

00:26:27.500 Well, guess what that means?

00:26:28.620 That means you're not working nine to five every single day and busting your ass and making

00:26:32.660 a lot of money.

00:26:33.180 Why?

00:26:33.880 Well, because you need freedom of time, right?

00:26:35.820 So if that is how you define financial freedom, then you need flexibility of time and some

00:26:40.740 income, right?

00:26:41.600 And so, and I think quality of life is the same thing, right?

00:26:44.620 Is, well, what is it to you?

00:26:46.560 What does that specifically look like?

00:26:48.500 Is it freedom?

00:26:49.480 The ability to say, Hey, midday, I don't want to work anymore.

00:26:52.620 And I just want to go home and relax, or I want to be able to go to all of my kids'

00:26:56.280 events, regardless of if they're in the middle of the day.

00:26:59.100 If that's quality of life, then flexibility of work is really important to you, right?

00:27:03.660 And so I think it just varies, right?

00:27:05.600 And you're already alluding to that.

00:27:06.880 I just wanted to share.

00:27:08.260 Yeah.

00:27:08.400 The book is, I think, yeah, I think the book is make money, live wealthy.

00:27:12.740 Does that sound right?

00:27:13.540 Yeah.

00:27:13.840 Yeah.

00:27:14.380 Yeah.

00:27:14.660 Make money, live wealthy by Austin Netsley.

00:27:16.280 All right.

00:27:18.320 Jake Scherer.

00:27:19.840 Hey, Ryan, is it just me or are you already picking up that Maynard lingo and accent?

00:27:26.460 Oh, I can't answer that.

00:27:27.480 I don't know.

00:27:28.320 You tell me.

00:27:29.380 Maybe I am.

00:27:31.060 I don't know.

00:27:31.680 It's an interesting accent.

00:27:33.040 I love it.

00:27:33.700 I love listening to the people at the convenience store, the grocery store, friends that come

00:27:37.660 over and it's an interesting accent for sure.

00:27:42.580 I don't want to say it's harsh.

00:27:44.100 It's not harsh.

00:27:44.780 It's hard maybe more so, but it's interesting.

00:27:48.440 It's not like my Southern Utah drawl.

00:27:51.680 Yeah.

00:27:52.360 I don't know if I know what that accent sounds like.

00:27:55.200 Does Pete or Littlefield have a Maynard accent?

00:27:59.040 I mean a little bit, but not so much.

00:28:00.980 But Pete's father-in-law is really prevalent.

00:28:06.340 Yeah.

00:28:06.960 Yeah.

00:28:09.600 It's like their A's are harder.

00:28:12.760 It's interesting.

00:28:14.640 Okay.

00:28:15.040 I'll have to make sure to be a little bit more mindful during Origins Camp.

00:28:18.180 I don't know.

00:28:18.640 Maybe I'm getting it.

00:28:19.840 Maybe not.

00:28:20.520 I don't know.

00:28:20.980 Who knows?

00:28:23.120 It's funny.

00:28:24.420 That stuff happens.

00:28:25.320 When I lived in New York, I started getting a little bit of like a New York accent when

00:28:29.180 I was there.

00:28:29.960 So this is actually, there's an actually, there's a lesson in here because every once in a while

00:28:35.240 we'll hear people, they'll say, well, I'm not impacted by, one of the things you hear

00:28:40.680 a lot is like kids aren't impacted by, by, by games, like video games, like violent video

00:28:45.800 games, or they're not impacted by the music they're listening to.

00:28:49.120 Or, you know, you hear things like that.

00:28:50.920 Like, Oh, that doesn't affect me.

00:28:52.320 It's like, come on, man.

00:28:53.640 Like Doritos spent, I don't know what it was like five, five or $10 million on a Superbowl

00:28:59.580 commercial for 60 seconds of your time.

00:29:02.040 And you think a company like that's willing to spend that kind of money and not have some

00:29:05.480 sort of influence on you.

00:29:06.460 You're ridiculous.

00:29:07.040 If you believe that, and it's, it's the same with, with accents, you think you're passive

00:29:12.540 in your environment.

00:29:13.800 No, sir, you are not passive.

00:29:16.860 Like you are part of the environment and the environment in which you find yourself, it

00:29:22.020 will rub off on you.

00:29:22.980 There's the studies in prisons where they take that Pepto-Bismol or was it, it's either

00:29:28.000 prisons or, or psych wards, but they take that Pepto-Bismol pink and, and, and it's been

00:29:33.640 proven that people are more calm if there's that color wallpaper or paint on the walls

00:29:39.600 than if there's blue or some other color.

00:29:41.800 Like we are being impacted by our environment.

00:29:44.260 So if it's the accent, if it's the way people are acting, it's the way people think all of

00:29:49.060 that stuff plays a very, very important role in who you are.

00:29:51.800 So you better be intentional about every little element of your life.

00:29:54.640 Cause it's, it's, it's, it's rubbing off on you, whether you know, places where you put

00:29:59.940 yourself, what you listen to, the kind of people you hang out with, the conversations

00:30:03.360 that are typically around you.

00:30:05.420 Yeah.

00:30:05.440 I mean, you just taught, we just talked about you being in Hawaii for a couple of weeks

00:30:08.220 and how you're like, you're slacking now.

00:30:09.780 So it's like, see, I wouldn't go that far, but my wife, well, I, I, I, I, maybe I shouldn't

00:30:17.880 throw her underneath the bus.

00:30:20.780 All right, move on.

00:30:22.260 Yeah.

00:30:22.760 Yeah.

00:30:23.080 Just let that go.

00:30:24.320 Okay.

00:30:24.760 Roger Taylor.

00:30:25.640 Hey, Ryan and Kip.

00:30:26.260 I was wondering what your thoughts on a quote by Nietzsche, which is he who has a why to

00:30:33.040 live can bear almost any how.

00:30:36.960 I haven't given much.

00:30:37.980 I've heard that quote before.

00:30:38.920 I haven't really given it much thought, but on the surface, you know, I think that's probably

00:30:42.500 true.

00:30:43.000 I think a lot of people ask how they can be disciplined and, and, and how they can stay

00:30:46.780 consistent towards their pursuit of their goals and ambitions.

00:30:49.800 It's something that's got to be driving you some ultimate purpose.

00:30:53.240 You know, there's times where there's elements of this, of this movement and this career pursuit

00:30:59.100 that I have here that, you know, I don't always enjoy, or I don't feel like maybe one day doing

00:31:05.040 a podcast or making a social media post or dealing with a situation in the iron council

00:31:09.840 or any number of things that just come up on a day-to-day basis.

00:31:13.240 But I bear those things.

00:31:14.840 Um, I do them willingly and, and, and happily because I know it's leading towards the outcome

00:31:20.140 that I want.

00:31:20.700 And keeping my eye on the prize has always paid off and allowed me to drive past temporary,

00:31:26.780 um, moments of discomfort.

00:31:29.940 You know, I was, uh, so last night I go back to jujitsu cause I've actually been really,

00:31:33.600 really active in jujitsu.

00:31:34.720 You'd be proud of me, Kip.

00:31:35.940 I know I'm nervous about getting on the mats with you.

00:31:39.660 I don't think, I don't think you have anything to worry about at all.

00:31:43.200 I'll just, I'll just make sure you train with a bunch of other guys here at the gym.

00:31:46.520 Okay.

00:31:46.880 I get to you that way you're worn out.

00:31:48.740 Fair.

00:31:48.880 I don't think you have anything to worry.

00:31:50.740 Anyways, um, I was rolling last night and I was rolling with a brown belt and, uh, he's

00:31:56.600 a friend.

00:31:56.920 He's, he's been really helpful and he instructs as we roll and stuff like that.

00:31:59.880 He's been good that way.

00:32:01.340 But, uh, he was saying, Hey man, you, you know, you, you've really, you've really improved.

00:32:05.400 I'm like, Oh man, that means a lot.

00:32:06.980 Like how so?

00:32:07.620 And he's like, your base is just a whole lot wider.

00:32:09.580 It's definitely harder to sweep your sweep you.

00:32:11.760 You anticipate those moves coming up.

00:32:13.400 You're able to step over those and around.

00:32:15.800 And, and I, I was really grateful that he said that.

00:32:18.720 And I told him, I said, man, I really appreciate you saying that because I'm not sure that

00:32:21.700 I'm getting better.

00:32:23.380 And he said, it's really hard to see if you are when you're in the middle of it.

00:32:27.000 You know, it's, it's really hard to see, but if you just keep focused on what you want

00:32:31.860 and why this is important to you, then you'll just push through the times where you're discouraged

00:32:37.080 or feeling down or get swept or get pinned or get yourself in a, in a difficult situation.

00:32:42.000 So we take these little wins and, and we apply them towards what we want.

00:32:45.960 And we know that we just drive through the losses or the setbacks or the hardship, because

00:32:50.860 it's just part of the process.

00:32:53.020 It's part of the deal.

00:32:54.360 There's this weird thing where we think that if we ever run into any kind of difficulty

00:33:02.660 or challenge, then we must be on the wrong path.

00:33:04.900 Have you recognized that?

00:33:06.660 It's so funny, which is crazy because that's where the, that's where the opportunity for

00:33:11.480 growth is.

00:33:12.080 Yeah.

00:33:12.400 But yet we avoid it.

00:33:13.460 It's nuts.

00:33:14.260 I think people have a tendency and myself included, and probably you as well that think, okay,

00:33:18.460 if I'm on the right path and it should, everything should just fall into line.

00:33:21.560 Like it should be a fairy tale.

00:33:23.220 And that's one of the destructive things about not only fairy tales, movies that we

00:33:27.880 watch.

00:33:28.780 It's also a challenge with social media.

00:33:31.100 Cause what we do is we look at all these guys we follow and I'm guilty of it more than

00:33:34.760 anybody else.

00:33:35.440 Probably is I follow these guys who I'm inspired by and I see their highly filtered content.

00:33:42.040 And I think, well, how come he doesn't have a self-esteem issues?

00:33:45.600 How come he's hanging out with that person?

00:33:47.400 How come he has this many followers?

00:33:49.040 How come he's doing these incredible things?

00:33:51.920 And we don't see the challenges and the struggle and the negative internal dialogue and the

00:33:59.340 self-esteem issues.

00:34:00.760 We don't see any of that.

00:34:02.140 So we think if we have that, then we're, we must be doing it wrong.

00:34:06.000 And that's why on social media, I try to share things that are encouraging and positive and

00:34:11.040 uplifting and victories.

00:34:12.040 But I also share a lot of my struggles because I think that's fair to you to say, look, I, it's

00:34:19.720 weird to say this.

00:34:20.440 And at the risk of sounding maybe narcissistic a little bit, like, I think there's people

00:34:24.000 who look up to me as some sort of beacon of masculinity and, and, but I don't want them

00:34:29.780 to know that it doesn't come without challenge and overwhelm and frustration and feeling,

00:34:38.100 feelings of inadequacy.

00:34:39.760 Like they need to know that stuff because I know that they're going to deal with that

00:34:42.660 too.

00:34:42.900 And if I hide that from them, it's not, it's not conducive to their growth, which is ultimately

00:34:48.300 what I want.

00:34:48.920 I want guys to improve and I got to share the, the, the failures and, and the victories.

00:34:53.360 I got to share both.

00:34:54.060 Ryan, I'm, if I'm curious, what are your thoughts between having a, why quote unquote being motivated

00:35:03.040 versus discipline or is a, why are they similar at all?

00:35:09.420 Um, is a, why just purpose versus motivation?

00:35:13.220 Like it's, it's more lasting.

00:35:15.020 It's part of your identity.

00:35:16.140 It's, you know what I mean?

00:35:17.880 And it obviously motivates you, but does it give you discipline as well?

00:35:21.040 Like how do those relate in your opinion?

00:35:22.360 I think motivation is more emotional than discipline, right?

00:35:25.220 Like I'm motivated.

00:35:26.080 I'm emotional.

00:35:26.940 There's nothing wrong with it.

00:35:27.840 Like it's, that's an emotion.

00:35:29.000 It's easy.

00:35:29.580 Yeah.

00:35:30.020 No, I don't even know if it's easy necessarily, but it's, it's, it's different.

00:35:34.260 Discipline is an action.

00:35:36.280 Motivation is an emotion.

00:35:38.920 Right.

00:35:39.460 And would you say, would you classify your why as your understanding of why you need to

00:35:44.020 have discipline?

00:35:44.620 So I think if we're looking at this in a, in a hierarchical structure, for example, you have

00:35:48.640 your purpose or your vision or your why, right?

00:35:52.180 Okay.

00:35:52.360 At the top, this is ultimately what I'm striving for or to be or to accomplish.

00:35:57.120 And then that is going to motivate us towards that thing.

00:36:03.960 And then underneath that is we need to then put in systems and processes of discipline

00:36:09.580 in order to achieve that ultimate purpose and why.

00:36:14.320 So motivation and discipline are different.

00:36:16.280 They're both good.

00:36:17.100 They're both valuable.

00:36:17.800 Some guys will say motivation is overrated.

00:36:20.060 Well, motivation's good.

00:36:22.400 You got to be motivated.

00:36:23.760 That's hope.

00:36:24.240 If you don't have motivation, if you don't have hope in your life, are you going to do

00:36:28.360 anything?

00:36:28.940 Hell no, you're not going to do anything.

00:36:30.540 So we've got to be motivated.

00:36:33.040 But I think if you are lacking discipline, which is the systems and structures, it's also,

00:36:38.380 it's also a virtue.

00:36:39.860 If you don't have hope, then hope doesn't really mean anything.

00:36:44.140 Like if you're just disciplined, but you don't have hope, how long can you maintain that?

00:36:51.060 Like you're a robot.

00:36:52.420 Like what are you working towards and what's going to, how are you going to overcome the

00:36:57.360 down time?

00:36:59.360 So what do you need?

00:37:00.100 You need both.

00:37:00.720 That's why I surround myself with people who I'm inspired by because I have discipline.

00:37:05.420 I have structures and systems in place.

00:37:07.240 I can be disciplined, but I also know that I get, I get charged by guys who inspire me.

00:37:14.140 You know, guys like you, uh, Bert Soren, who's a close friend.

00:37:18.440 Cam Haynes is another one.

00:37:19.920 John Dudley.

00:37:20.660 I mean, I hate, I hesitate to bring up names because there's so many people who inspire

00:37:24.660 me, but, but they're not helping me with discipline.

00:37:27.700 They're just helping me with the emotional side of motivation.

00:37:30.260 And then it's up on, up to me to do the discipline side of things.

00:37:34.480 Does that make sense?

00:37:35.840 Yeah, no, totally.

00:37:36.840 Both are important.

00:37:37.460 Like you don't need one at the expense of the other.

00:37:40.560 Yeah.

00:37:41.840 Chris Bell.

00:37:42.660 How was it taking down a downtime on the weekend?

00:37:45.760 I suck at slowing down and it has been pointed out to me often lately.

00:37:50.620 Yeah.

00:37:51.180 Well, we, most men suck at it.

00:37:53.180 I think, well, not most men, most high achieving men suck at it.

00:37:56.320 That's why you were saying, I was, I was in Hawaii and I was still looking forward to

00:38:00.400 coming back.

00:38:00.920 Right?

00:38:01.460 Like, I know it's so messed up.

00:38:03.400 It's not though.

00:38:04.380 You're, you're, you're a high achiever.

00:38:05.940 So there's nothing messed up about it.

00:38:07.820 Now, is it, is it healthy?

00:38:10.320 Maybe, maybe not completely, right?

00:38:13.060 You probably ought to have some downtime in there and I'm the same way.

00:38:16.060 It's like, I don't want to go to the lake.

00:38:17.280 I want to work.

00:38:18.200 I want to be productive.

00:38:19.140 But what I've come to the conclusion, and this is what I think he's alluding to.

00:38:21.980 Cause I posted this on, I don't know, Facebook or Instagram, probably both is that I took

00:38:26.360 some time at the lake with my family this weekend.

00:38:28.900 And what I've come to the conclusion is that is those activities are part of the productivity

00:38:34.160 process.

00:38:35.500 It's just part of being productive.

00:38:37.140 It's not isolated from it.

00:38:38.440 It's not a separate activity.

00:38:40.400 And I, and I'd say this all the time.

00:38:41.760 I say, we can't make our decisions in a vacuum, right?

00:38:44.060 So you can't go a hundred miles an hour forever without taking some time to recharge and

00:38:50.340 rejuvenate.

00:38:50.880 You can't do it and you need the downtime and the downtime is just as important.

00:38:57.600 It's an integral part of you being productive.

00:39:00.720 If I take downtime and I recharge, I rejuvenate, I relax, I do some other things that just help

00:39:06.760 me in different capacities of my life, then I can come back into another situation and

00:39:11.340 be that much more productive and efficient with that thing.

00:39:14.000 If I take downtime and relax, I might be able to come back and do in two to three to four

00:39:19.540 hours, what used to take me six to seven to eight hours, because I'm clear, I've got the

00:39:25.060 energy, I've got the stamina.

00:39:27.820 This is something the body needs.

00:39:29.860 So I've, I've rejected it for a long time and I continue to kind of reject it.

00:39:33.940 Like I tolerate it now.

00:39:35.160 I don't embrace it.

00:39:36.160 I tolerate it.

00:39:37.300 But I found that the more that I, that I'm intentional about it, like I don't just go

00:39:40.680 randomly, like for, I'm just going to do this randomly for, for months or for the whole

00:39:45.340 weekend.

00:39:45.720 No, I'm still structured with it.

00:39:48.060 Then it's just helped me that be that much more productive.

00:39:51.200 Yeah.

00:39:52.860 Brandon Stoll, since we're focusing on the connection quadrant this week, what's the best

00:39:57.580 date you've ever taken your wife on?

00:39:59.540 I'm focusing on this quadrant on restoring my marriage and attempting to bring back some

00:40:03.820 of the excitement and magic that surrounds date nights with my wife, jobs, kids, responsibilities.

00:40:09.000 It all gets in the way.

00:40:10.300 And too often we end up doing the same old things.

00:40:13.880 Yeah.

00:40:14.440 Yeah.

00:40:14.720 That's, I think that's pretty common.

00:40:16.660 That's a lot of times.

00:40:17.780 That's what we do as well.

00:40:18.840 We actually haven't been on a date on a big deal.

00:40:20.520 Not a big deal, brand.

00:40:21.680 Just keep doing the same thing.

00:40:23.200 Yeah.

00:40:23.480 No, just next.

00:40:24.360 Yeah.

00:40:24.700 That's it.

00:40:25.260 No, I mean, it's, it is a challenge when you have kids and work and all these other

00:40:28.460 responsibilities.

00:40:29.000 One of the best things I remember doing is this is when we were dating, but I think this

00:40:32.920 would be just as easy to do now is I think it was for Valentine's day or maybe

00:40:37.260 our anniversary or something.

00:40:38.340 Uh, I took on, I took her on a hot air balloon ride.

00:40:41.860 That was really cool.

00:40:43.220 Yeah.

00:40:43.360 I remember that.

00:40:43.900 That's cool.

00:40:44.580 Um, some concerts, we've been down to some concerts, which have been a lot of fun.

00:40:49.000 Um, snowboarding, like just kind of spontaneous things, things that we'll even get a hotel.

00:40:54.120 We've done this in the past.

00:40:55.000 We've got a hotel in a, in like the neighboring town.

00:40:58.300 Um, so we don't like go away anywhere where we're, we're still there, but we're in a new

00:41:03.760 environment.

00:41:04.420 It's fun.

00:41:05.260 You know, we go out, we go to a nice place.

00:41:08.000 Uh, so those are things that you can do.

00:41:09.820 I just something different, you know, just try, try to be creative, look around in the,

00:41:15.320 in the online or, or your, or your like community center, like see what's going on in

00:41:20.560 the area.

00:41:20.960 Like we go to plays.

00:41:22.120 I really like, like theater, which is kind of weird.

00:41:24.660 Most people wouldn't think that about me.

00:41:25.880 I actually like it.

00:41:26.680 I enjoy it.

00:41:27.380 Um, so we do that.

00:41:28.980 Like there's all kinds of stuff you can do.

00:41:30.160 You just got to be awake and be aware of it and keep your ear to the ground and figure

00:41:33.820 some stuff out.

00:41:34.860 Yeah.

00:41:35.480 And some of the unknown is, is the excitement, right?

00:41:38.720 So it doesn't even have to be a great idea, but maybe just the unknown is what's fun, right?

00:41:43.180 Like, um, one of my favorite dates, uh, that Asian I did is there's a outdoor, um, uh,

00:41:50.480 what do you call it?

00:41:51.100 Like concert hall, um, up here in Salt Lake, instead of driving, we, we threw by,

00:41:57.360 we threw bikes in the back of a car, drove to like a nearby neighborhood, took the bikes

00:42:04.140 out, rode our bikes on the side of the road, right through like neighborhoods, stopped,

00:42:10.040 grabbed some sandwiches and rode the bikes to the rest, all the way to the concert.

00:42:14.680 And then rode the bikes back.

00:42:16.140 Like it was just, you mix it up.

00:42:17.860 Like guaranteed right now, if Brandon just built a picnic and decided to go out and have

00:42:24.020 a picnic with his wife at a weird location, she would be like, you're crazy.

00:42:28.640 This is so fun.

00:42:30.040 Guaranteed.

00:42:30.660 I agree.

00:42:31.540 And don't let her in on it, right?

00:42:32.820 Like just surprise her.

00:42:34.200 Have that element of surprise.

00:42:35.300 Yep.

00:42:35.560 It's a great idea.

00:42:36.120 All right.

00:42:38.300 Perry Eisenier, does a work-life balance exist for an entrepreneur?

00:42:42.760 If so, how do you maintain it?

00:42:45.780 Uh, it does for me.

00:42:47.580 I mean, I, I don't, I have to say no to a lot of things when it comes to the business.

00:42:51.640 I say no to a lot of speaking engagements and travel opportunities because I'm just not

00:42:56.260 interested in doing that at the expense of my family.

00:42:58.360 So how do you maintain it?

00:42:59.580 You have your boundaries, you know what you're going to do.

00:43:02.120 You know how much time you're going to invest and you know how much time you're not.

00:43:04.360 So yeah, I throttle back on the business a lot.

00:43:07.680 Now, if you look, if you want to go full steam on the business, then by all means go full

00:43:11.940 steam on the business, but no, you're going to have to make sacrifices.

00:43:14.500 And a lot of times it's going to be your family.

00:43:16.620 And that's why I'm not interested in that.

00:43:19.380 So I make decisions.

00:43:20.380 So I actually throttled the business because my family is a priority in my life.

00:43:25.580 This thing, this movement could be significantly larger than it is.

00:43:28.780 I could have significantly greater opportunities.

00:43:30.660 I could probably make significantly more money if all I did was the business.

00:43:34.860 But I'm not interested in that.

00:43:36.420 So I'm going to have the things that I'm interested in with regards to career pursuits, but I'm

00:43:42.020 also going to ensure that I've got the boundaries established.

00:43:46.400 So I know what to say no to.

00:43:48.320 I know what to say yes to.

00:43:49.840 And I know to go back to a previous question, why I'm saying no and yes to certain things

00:43:54.740 so that I keep all of my other priorities in line and in check where they need to be as

00:43:59.080 well.

00:43:59.800 So it can exist.

00:44:01.120 It's a lot of work.

00:44:02.020 It's a lot of effort.

00:44:02.820 I think most men probably naturally gravitate towards the career aspirations, which is fine.

00:44:09.120 There's not, like I said, nothing wrong with that.

00:44:10.720 But if you've got a family and you've committed to them and you want to be part of their lives,

00:44:13.880 then yeah, you're going to have to make some sacrifices and some choices.

00:44:16.800 And I told my son this the other day because he wanted to do, I think, two different summer

00:44:21.340 camps.

00:44:22.480 And I said, well, you can pick one.

00:44:24.260 And he's like, well, I want to do both.

00:44:25.460 I'm like, well, they're at the same time.

00:44:26.760 You can't do both.

00:44:27.460 He's like, yeah, but they're both great opportunities.

00:44:29.060 I'm like, welcome to life.

00:44:31.100 You know, life's going to present all kinds of opportunities.

00:44:33.320 And sometimes you just have to choose.

00:44:34.860 And then you make a choice and you live with it.

00:44:36.700 And the other choice might've been a great choice.

00:44:38.460 And the one you made might've been a great choice, but you don't get to do both.

00:44:41.840 You don't.

00:44:43.180 So make your choices.

00:44:45.240 There is a price.

00:44:46.180 There's a, that's exactly right.

00:44:46.960 There's a cost, the cost of me being, uh, engaged with my kids and my wife and being

00:44:52.980 part of the family is a scaled back business.

00:44:55.640 That's the cost.

00:44:57.120 And that's a cost I'm willing to pay.

00:45:01.020 Joel Garcia.

00:45:01.940 If one grows up with a family, uh, matriarchy, liberalism and feminism being the leading influence

00:45:08.240 in their culture, what is one way to get back in touch with masculinity other than order

00:45:13.020 of man?

00:45:13.460 Uh, be around other men, like plug yourself into the patriarchy.

00:45:20.340 So find men who are achieving at high levels and go where they are, whether it's going

00:45:24.760 to jujitsu or getting into hunting or there's a, uh, this weekend, in fact, as of the release

00:45:30.880 of this, this podcast, I'm in park city, Utah for an archery challenge.

00:45:35.360 Cause I get to be around other guys who are high achievers and they're having fun and they're

00:45:40.020 engaged in the same things I am.

00:45:41.380 Um, it's just go where men are, uh, compete with them, find competitions, do pick up games

00:45:48.200 of basketball, have a poker night, have a fight night.

00:45:51.540 Uh, there's, there's all kinds of things that you can do to be involved with other men.

00:45:55.760 And it's not like you're looking for like the patriarchy necessarily, but just being around

00:46:00.020 other male influences, like we had talked about earlier, will naturally rub off on you

00:46:05.040 and you'll begin to think and behave and act like those men that you're surrounding yourself

00:46:10.260 with.

00:46:11.260 Yeah.

00:46:11.740 And then you can be that for others.

00:46:13.660 And you need to be that for others.

00:46:15.020 We have a moral obligation to be that for other people.

00:46:18.140 If you can't, but you can't be that unless you're surrounded by it.

00:46:21.220 And you've, it's kind of like that old adage where, you know, the best, the best students

00:46:26.120 are, are, excuse me, the best, what is it?

00:46:28.760 The best teachers are the best students, right?

00:46:31.320 You have to learn at some point you have to be receptive and open to ideas.

00:46:35.180 And if you're not, you're not learning from other people.

00:46:37.080 How can you ever teach at a greater capacity?

00:46:39.460 You can't.

00:46:40.480 So learn, be open to it.

00:46:42.560 Okay.

00:46:43.740 John Gillenland.

00:46:44.740 Um, he says, I'm asking both of you, which then makes me think, well, geez, maybe some

00:46:49.740 of these I shouldn't be replying to, but, uh, only the ones where it says to both of

00:46:53.620 you.

00:46:54.340 Yeah.

00:46:54.900 Kip, you can answer this one.

00:46:56.520 All right.

00:46:57.420 Because we are men of action.

00:46:59.680 How do you approach any given action and making sure it's in line with your spiritual path?

00:47:04.960 Pray about it.

00:47:05.740 Ask for clarity, et cetera.

00:47:09.440 Um, I'm probably not a great guy to ask on this because although I feel like,

00:47:14.740 like I'm spiritual and religious, I also feel like I'm very in tune with my intuition or

00:47:21.400 you can call it conscience or the Holy spirit, whatever you want to call it.

00:47:25.260 And I don't feel like I need to specifically consult it a whole lot.

00:47:31.500 Like, I feel like my, again, I'll just use the word intuition.

00:47:35.540 I feel like my intuition and, and even my gut instinct align very well with the actions

00:47:42.200 I'm taking and the congruency between the two keeps me from having to like pause and

00:47:49.400 like time out and reflect the way I feel about things or think about how they're going.

00:47:53.820 I I've, I've always been more in tune with the way I feel about things.

00:47:59.520 And you know what?

00:48:00.300 Maybe I don't, I don't know.

00:48:01.720 This is a theory.

00:48:02.480 All right.

00:48:03.040 It's anecdotal that I was raised by my mother mostly, and she was very in touch.

00:48:10.080 She was very aware and sensitive to how other people were responding and her environment.

00:48:14.960 And so maybe I learned that from her because I think that's maybe generally a more feminine

00:48:20.020 characteristic, but I've always been okay with making decisions based on how I feel.

00:48:27.620 Well, not logically, uh, even people even ask me, cause I I'm a convert to the LDS church

00:48:34.400 and I get a lot of questions from people who are either considering make, uh, being baptized

00:48:39.860 or, or contemplating it or wondering about spirituality, like how I came to grow my testimony and how

00:48:45.560 I made the decision to join the churches.

00:48:48.060 Do you just Christ of Latter-day saints?

00:48:49.440 And, um, the best answer is I had is that I just felt good about it.

00:48:54.720 Like I looked at what the church represented.

00:48:57.880 I looked at all of my experiences with the church.

00:48:59.820 I looked at my interactions with the members of the church and I just felt good about it.

00:49:05.300 And I wish I could give a more specific or a better answer than that.

00:49:08.140 But because I just felt right about it, I made that decision.

00:49:11.320 People ask me about order man all the time.

00:49:13.300 Like, like, why did you do this?

00:49:14.920 How'd you feel like, or how'd you know that this was the right thing to do?

00:49:17.540 I'm like, I didn't, I just felt like I wanted to have a conversation.

00:49:20.580 And as I kept having conversations, it felt better and better and better.

00:49:23.700 And so I did it.

00:49:25.100 And, you know, you could even take that with the events that we do.

00:49:28.140 It's like, well, well, why'd you do this event?

00:49:29.920 And how'd you do this?

00:49:31.420 Well, I just, one day I woke up and I was, or one evening I woke up, I was sleeping middle

00:49:35.360 of the night and I'm like, man, it would be cool to do this.

00:49:37.140 That feels right.

00:49:37.780 Okay, I'll do it.

00:49:38.420 And I put a deposit on a cabin.

00:49:40.560 People ask me about Maine all the time.

00:49:43.000 Ryan, why'd you move to Maine?

00:49:44.100 I don't know.

00:49:45.460 I don't know, man.

00:49:46.120 Like, I just felt like we needed to be out here.

00:49:49.880 I don't know if it was God or I'm called to do it, or if there's some spirit talking to

00:49:55.480 me, or if there isn't at all.

00:49:57.180 And it's just like my, my feeling or my intuition.

00:50:00.960 I don't know.

00:50:02.060 I just feel compelled to do it.

00:50:03.480 So I do it.

00:50:04.420 I know that's not a great answer, but that's what it is for me anyways.

00:50:09.480 All right.

00:50:09.940 Next question.

00:50:10.580 I'm just joking.

00:50:11.220 I was like, well, you got to give your answer, man.

00:50:12.900 Yeah, man, this is tough for me to, I, I don't, I, and I'm probably not the right person

00:50:19.780 to ask for this either, because I, I'm, I know guys that are like, you know, or let's

00:50:25.560 pray about it.

00:50:26.620 You know, let's pray about it.

00:50:27.480 Like, you know what I mean?

00:50:28.460 They, it's almost like that's kind of the natural instinct of like every decision, you

00:50:32.400 know, to kind of pray about in it.

00:50:33.940 Uh, and I'm not that way.

00:50:35.900 I will, don't get me wrong.

00:50:37.940 I'll pray and I'll get on my knees.

00:50:39.240 Most of the time it's, it's to express my gratitude and appreciation, um, for my struggles

00:50:45.760 and opportunities, right.

00:50:47.220 That'd been placed before me.

00:50:48.300 But, but rarely do I, I am looking for an answer via prayer, um, for the decisions I

00:50:56.400 make.

00:50:56.680 And, and I don't know, maybe I'm totally preaching wrong here, but, um, I don't, I think

00:51:03.660 God intended for me a lot of the time to figure it out and to learn through the process of

00:51:09.600 making the decision on my own.

00:51:11.300 So, so by default, my natural tendency is let me check in with the man upstairs to see if

00:51:16.180 this is the right thing.

00:51:17.680 Um, it's more or less around, you know, who, who, who, who am the, who am I or who am I creating?

00:51:26.800 Right.

00:51:27.120 What kind of man am I creating?

00:51:28.740 And, and is this decision in line with that?

00:51:31.980 You know, and when I look at it that way, I know what kind of man I should be in general,

00:51:38.520 right?

00:51:38.760 I know how I should show up and how I should show up in my community and my family and,

00:51:43.260 and the, the, the integrity and honor and honesty in which I should have.

00:51:48.540 I know all those things.

00:51:50.420 So is this decision in line with that?

00:51:53.300 For sure.

00:51:53.960 If it's a major change, like, I don't know, like for instance, selling my business and,

00:51:58.140 and deciding to work for another company, that was a big decision.

00:52:01.200 I did pray about it, but it wasn't a prayer, a prayer around, is this the right decision?

00:52:06.620 It was a prayer around, um, asking for assistance.

00:52:10.820 So I would have clarity of mind and that, um, I would be able to determine if this is the

00:52:17.740 best decision for, for me and my family.

00:52:20.140 Yeah.

00:52:20.700 Right.

00:52:21.520 Um, it's still back on me, right.

00:52:23.800 To decide.

00:52:24.480 And it was really around guidance, uh, not necessarily yes or no, right.

00:52:29.020 On a decision.

00:52:29.680 And then out of that, that's where I, same thing.

00:52:32.820 I, I rely on my intuition and go, yeah, I feel good about it.

00:52:36.640 Right.

00:52:37.060 And, and I really do think that if I felt bad about it, like it was, you know, hair on

00:52:42.020 my neck was standing up a little bit and I was, you know what I mean?

00:52:44.440 Just kind of had a bad taste in my mouth about an idea.

00:52:46.960 Then, then I, I, I coined that as, um, you know, the spirit kind of suggesting to me that,

00:52:53.600 you know, this isn't, this isn't the right decision.

00:52:56.240 And, and I'm not one to make decisions unless I feel good about them.

00:52:59.280 If I feel rushed or pressured or whatever, I won't do it.

00:53:03.300 Right.

00:53:03.660 Yeah.

00:53:03.860 In the same way.

00:53:04.420 I think we're very much the same in that, in that aspect.

00:53:07.620 Yeah.

00:53:08.000 I, I think this is going to sound weird.

00:53:10.080 Um, I think too many spiritual people or even religious people put too much on God.

00:53:17.940 And what I mean by that is like, I had a guy on Instagram the other day say, I can't remember

00:53:24.000 what the post was.

00:53:24.780 It was something about, you know, creating the life you want or whatever.

00:53:28.260 I can't remember exactly what it was.

00:53:29.560 And the guy's like, I, I get everything I need through Jesus.

00:53:32.660 And I'm like, I don't, I don't know what that means.

00:53:35.900 Like, like, what do you, what do you mean?

00:53:38.000 Like you get your food from Jesus.

00:53:40.000 Like you get your house.

00:53:41.760 I, I, I really, when people say things like that, I'm like, I don't know what that means.

00:53:45.400 Like one of the funny thing, things, things that I hear people say a lot is like, is they'll

00:53:50.760 say, and I think this is maybe more true in our church that they'll say, you know, I just,

00:53:54.380 I was deciding if I wanted to live here or here.

00:53:56.620 And so I asked God what I should do.

00:53:57.980 I'm like, dude, God doesn't care where you live.

00:54:01.020 I totally agree.

00:54:02.440 He does not care where you live.

00:54:04.180 He wants you to be a good person and he wants you to live the kind of life that you're capable

00:54:08.060 of living.

00:54:08.620 And you can do that in, in Maine.

00:54:11.420 You can do that in Utah.

00:54:12.440 You can do that in Moscow or Australia or wherever you are, you're going to end up.

00:54:16.120 God doesn't care.

00:54:16.880 I, when I was, when I was in high school, I was in a, uh, we were in a playoffs game

00:54:22.280 for baseball and I think we were, if I remember correctly, it's been 20 years now, we were

00:54:27.900 ahead, probably in the middle of the game.

00:54:30.920 And I remember praying and saying, God, please help us win this baseball game.

00:54:38.620 And this was like a pivotal moment for me.

00:54:40.940 I remember almost instantaneously saying or thinking to myself, God doesn't care if you

00:54:47.640 win this baseball game.

00:54:49.200 This has no relevancy in, in his plan.

00:54:52.480 And you know, what's funny is the guys in the dugout across the way are praying for the

00:54:57.000 same thing.

00:54:57.680 So who does he pick?

00:54:59.020 Cause only one team can win.

00:55:01.960 So whose prayer does he answer?

00:55:04.380 The, the answer is that he doesn't answer any of them because he doesn't care who wins

00:55:09.400 the baseball game.

00:55:11.260 He cares about how you play the game.

00:55:13.460 And then you just let the chips fall where they may.

00:55:16.880 So, so I hear these people say things like, Oh, I just put, I just put it all in God's

00:55:22.760 hands.

00:55:23.100 I'm like, well, that sounds really wonderful.

00:55:25.420 But what about personal responsibility?

00:55:27.820 Like, what if you approach life, not from, I put it in all in God's hands, but that he has

00:55:31.860 already given me everything that I need to be successful.

00:55:34.600 And now he's waiting for me.

00:55:37.200 That's one thing I've thought about a lot is people are like, I'm just waiting for a sign

00:55:40.400 from God.

00:55:41.140 Well, maybe God's waiting for you to do what he already gave you the permission to do.

00:55:45.560 So you guys are just sitting around waiting on each other.

00:55:48.920 So I'm spiritual.

00:55:50.700 I believe in God.

00:55:51.400 I believe that, that he has my best intentions and interest at heart.

00:55:57.540 But I also believe just like any parent, he's not going to do things for me.

00:56:03.440 I can't save my kids and rescue them from all their battles.

00:56:07.140 Hopefully I can give them the guidance and direction and the instruction that they need

00:56:11.180 to fight their own battles.

00:56:12.080 And I feel like our relationship with God is very much the same.

00:56:15.040 And I think it goes back to what we were saying earlier about, we have this tendency to say,

00:56:21.560 oh man, this is, this process is difficult.

00:56:24.040 You know, I must've made the right, wrong decision here.

00:56:26.280 This could not be the way, right?

00:56:27.500 And it's like, no, no, no.

00:56:28.580 Like growth is in conflict.

00:56:32.540 Growth is in the hardships.

00:56:34.800 You know, we get glimpse of sunlight and appreciation and it's amazing.

00:56:39.100 And, and, and, and kind of back to like what you're saying is like,

00:56:43.040 I really do think it is who you are being is what God wants.

00:56:50.120 It's how you decide to show up regardless of the circumstance.

00:56:54.840 Because we all know some people, you know, we get some guys listening to this podcast,

00:57:01.100 get, get, uh, life is, is tough for them.

00:57:05.860 You know, they get dealt a difficult hand.

00:57:09.700 Um, how, how, how do they grow from that?

00:57:13.240 How do they, you know, how does, how did God help them?

00:57:16.380 No, it's not about the circumstances, about how we decide to show up.

00:57:20.680 Well, and I think a lot of times too, is that we put ourselves in these circumstances.

00:57:23.940 Like it's our own doing that puts herself in these circumstances.

00:57:26.680 Now I'm not saying somebody who's born with a debilitating medical condition,

00:57:29.940 that it's their fault.

00:57:31.940 Or somebody was, was abused as a child, that it's their fault.

00:57:37.340 But as, as an adult, if, if you're saying things like, well,

00:57:40.980 bad things keep happening to me and well, okay, you're the common denominator in my life, right?

00:57:46.320 You're the common denominator.

00:57:47.580 Like, are you, are you sure as some outside factor?

00:57:50.200 Or do you think you ought to maybe turn that projector around and shine it on yourself?

00:57:53.940 Well, anyways.

00:57:56.700 All good thoughts.

00:57:58.040 Yeah.

00:57:58.280 Interesting.

00:57:58.780 We don't, we don't talk a whole lot about God in this podcast,

00:58:01.180 but I think it's an interesting discussion for sure.

00:58:03.700 Yeah.

00:58:04.400 A couple more questions.

00:58:05.900 Yeah, man.

00:58:06.160 Okay.

00:58:06.320 Yeah, for sure.

00:58:07.360 All right.

00:58:08.060 Dennis Morris, starting a new quarter.

00:58:11.160 Why don't you both break down for us one quadrant of your battle plan?

00:58:16.380 All the way from vision to tactic.

00:58:18.840 Use a specific example to peel back the curtains a little on the whole process for those who just here, make a battle plan.

00:58:25.540 Interested to hear how each of you may approach this slightly different as well.

00:58:30.420 Yeah.

00:58:30.820 Yeah, we can definitely do that.

00:58:32.740 I mean, we talk about this at length in the Iron Council.

00:58:34.880 Dennis knows that because we're in the Iron Council.

00:58:37.700 I will pick one that I've been working on.

00:58:41.500 I worked on a last corner I didn't quite hit, and that's my condition objective, which is to hit 15% body fat.

00:58:46.940 So, that's my goal.

00:58:50.020 Right now, I'm just under about 20%, so I'm on the right track, but that's been my goal for the last little while.

00:58:56.800 I was at 24%, and so I reduced that that much, which has been good, but I need to keep going.

00:59:02.860 So, my vision for myself is ultimately that I am capable as a father and as a husband and the leader of this movement and a leader in the community that I'm engaged, that I've got energy, that when people look at me, and this might sound vain, but it is what it is, is that when people look at me without even knowing anything else about me,

00:59:29.180 that they see somebody who has discipline, who is assertive, who is in command of his own life and his own destiny, that's important as a leader of men for me, and I think being to that body fat for now, as I get even lower than that, will be a great addition to my credibility and my authority in people's lives as well.

00:59:53.580 So, those are all visions that I have.

00:59:55.020 So, that's my vision, and then the objective is 15% body fat.

01:00:00.220 My tactics, usually we talk about doing one to two tactics.

01:00:04.480 I have several different tactics, and they're all programmed and processed into my life.

01:00:09.000 So, number one is no processed sugars.

01:00:11.280 So, I can have sugar, but it's not processed sugar.

01:00:13.400 It's not candy, soda, et cetera, et cetera.

01:00:15.580 So, that's one.

01:00:16.860 Number two is working out every single day.

01:00:19.440 And on the weekends, it's not a formal workout as much as it is just an outside exercise and daily activity.

01:00:27.820 Active recovery.

01:00:28.720 Yeah, in a way, yeah.

01:00:29.740 And then I have steps that I try to hit, try to hit 15,000 steps a day.

01:00:33.100 Uh, and then in addition to that, it's a minimum of two, um, two, uh, jujitsu classes per week as well.

01:00:42.600 So, those are my, my tactics, which lead to the objective, which tie into the vision that I have for myself as a healthy man.

01:00:50.900 That's great.

01:00:51.540 And then I have my, I have my checkpoints along the way too.

01:00:54.820 We don't talk a whole lot about checkpoints.

01:00:56.240 We have 30 and 60 day checkpoints.

01:00:58.340 So, you know, let, let, let's just say 20% body fat when I started.

01:01:01.940 It's slightly under that now.

01:01:03.260 So, in 30 days, I should be at, uh, 17, 17 to 18.

01:01:07.720 Uh, in 60 days, I should be at 16, 17, somewhere right in there.

01:01:11.640 And then in 90 days, I should be 15.

01:01:13.380 I think I can, if I do what I said and do those tactics and don't miss a day, I'll be under 15% body fat, no doubt.

01:01:21.540 So, love it, love it, love it, love it.

01:01:25.400 All right.

01:01:25.900 Um, my quadrant, I was going to do condition to you, but that, that would, uh, what's not, I'll, I'll swing us elsewhere.

01:01:32.880 So, um, calibration.

01:01:37.400 So, my vision under calibration is, um, let me, let me explain a little bit.

01:01:43.940 So, I, I, of late, I feel very, that I have tabled, um, my spirituality a little bit, right?

01:01:53.200 I'm reading books and I'm busy at work.

01:01:55.560 I'm doing all these things and, uh, family nightly prayer and personal, uh, pondering and meditation and scripture study has kind of, has become, uh, it's late.

01:02:08.500 I don't want to do, you know what I mean?

01:02:09.440 I, I'm not being intentional with it.

01:02:11.600 Um, and as a result, I really do feel that there is, um, uh, a lacking of, uh, calmness and love and focus on a lack of focus around our true purpose.

01:02:28.940 Right.

01:02:30.060 Yeah.

01:02:30.560 Uh, of that eternal perspective of what's really important, you know, and, and we, Asia and I, we have a lot of things moving in with kids in our jobs and we have a lot of moving parts and it's really easy for us to lose focus on, on really what's important.

01:02:46.180 Um, and so, um, my objective is, uh, to just be more present, um, and to be intentional about, uh, my spirituality, uh, around it.

01:02:58.340 Now, this is one of those kind of objectives and tactics that's really kind of difficult to measure.

01:03:03.020 Um, I really think that my, my plan for my checkpoint perspective is just to ask feedback, right.

01:03:10.780 From, from Asia of, you know, have you noticed a difference?

01:03:13.500 Do you feel, you know what I mean?

01:03:14.660 Are things a little bit better in the household and whatnot?

01:03:16.800 Um, the tactics I have is, um, so I actually teach, uh, uh, gospel doctrine and I little bit, I, I kind of mad scramble with it.

01:03:27.480 Right.

01:03:27.920 Like leading up to the time in which I teach, I, I, a couple of days before I start prepping, um, I should be prepping and studying everything that there is to study, uh, within that, that section of the Bible or whatever, leading up to that Sunday every day.

01:03:46.160 Right.

01:03:46.940 And, and I'm going to, I'm, so I'm doubling up on this tactic from the perspective.

01:03:50.600 It's going to help me teach better.

01:03:51.960 Um, but it's also, it will be a clear guideline in regards to my study habits.

01:03:57.240 And I don't want to just read, right.

01:03:59.700 So, um, it is reading the, uh, the identified, you know, references and then spending, uh, five months, five minutes of pondering and taking them notes around what I studied.

01:04:10.660 Uh, and then the only, only other objective that I had was, um, uh, temple attendance once a month, which all the non LDS people are like, what the crap is he talking about?

01:04:21.820 So, um, that's, that's my tactics.

01:04:24.600 Excellent.

01:04:25.280 Love it.

01:04:25.600 There you go.

01:04:27.240 Hopefully that helps Dennis.

01:04:28.960 Um, all right.

01:04:30.160 Uh, one more question.

01:04:31.240 Is that cool?

01:04:31.840 Yeah, that's great.

01:04:33.100 Okay.

01:04:33.480 Our next question is by anonymous.

01:04:35.660 And by the way, guys, if you want to submit a question anonymously, uh, put it towards the top.

01:04:39.740 So then that way we, we, uh, end up not reading, um, off your name.

01:04:43.560 I don't think we've, this is our first anonymous guy.

01:04:46.720 Yeah.

01:04:47.040 I can't think of anybody else.

01:04:48.140 Yeah.

01:04:48.540 Yeah.

01:04:48.760 All right.

01:04:49.380 So, um, his question is really around approaching someone, uh, that is around their health, uh, and then being overweight.

01:04:58.060 Uh, his individual, this individual, um, is in his mid twenties is unhappy, lacks confidence.

01:05:04.220 He's angry, struggles with depression in the past, and he really feels that he, him being overweight is impacting these areas of his life.

01:05:11.760 He loves this guy dearly.

01:05:13.020 His family members are at loss in regards to how to provide some advice.

01:05:17.200 Um, so he's, he's more or less asking, Hey, what, how, how do I, how can I approach this in this situation with confidence to, to be able to help this fellow guy?

01:05:29.220 Yeah.

01:05:29.640 You know, I've thought about this on a lot of different levels.

01:05:31.900 Well, well, two, two levels primarily.

01:05:33.840 All right.

01:05:34.200 Number one is if, if somebody is going to be defensive and there's nothing you can do, then there's nothing you can do.

01:05:39.780 Right.

01:05:40.140 Like there's only so much you can control and you can't control another person.

01:05:43.620 Right.

01:05:44.020 So if somebody, for whatever reason is defensive in nature and that's all they're going to be, then, you know, unfortunately, what are you going to say?

01:05:51.420 Maybe there's not much more that you can say.

01:05:53.040 Maybe the only thing you can do is just be there for this individual.

01:05:56.440 Uh, be a great example by the way that you live your life, have conversations that maybe don't specifically touch on the issue, but maybe dance around the issue.

01:06:04.500 Uh, when you're going to exercise and do these things, invite them along.

01:06:08.000 Hey, I'm going to go play some basketball tonight or, or we're going, I'm going to go do a marathon.

01:06:12.360 Why don't you come train with me?

01:06:13.200 Let's go do a marathon together.

01:06:14.240 And so you're kind of flanking this individual to, to utilize a term from Jocko and you're not directly bringing it up because this individual continues to get defensive.

01:06:23.160 Right.

01:06:23.580 So, so you have to try different tactics.

01:06:25.580 So there's that.

01:06:26.640 All right.

01:06:26.840 That's one strategy or one thought.

01:06:28.880 My other thought, and I thought about this a lot as people try to share things that they need to, or, or I should say, give feedback to other individuals.

01:06:39.860 Maybe you haven't earned it yet.

01:06:42.200 Maybe you haven't earned it yet.

01:06:43.420 So I think about this a lot when people offer unsolicited advice, you know, there's all kinds of people that are, they always have advice and here's unsolicited advice about what you should do.

01:06:52.000 Um, like I saw a guy, he, uh, he had made a post in the Facebook group about his son mowing a lawn.

01:06:58.040 His son's 10 and the guy's like, Hey, just a little bit of feedback for you should get a lower handle on that lawnmower.

01:07:03.040 It's like, shut the hell up, man.

01:07:04.320 Like, just take the lesson for what it is.

01:07:06.640 He's teaching his son.

01:07:07.500 His son wants to work and he wants, and he wants to show that off.

01:07:10.820 Like, that's cool.

01:07:11.520 You don't need to give feedback on that.

01:07:13.880 Okay.

01:07:14.260 But what I'm saying, and the reason I bring that up is because solicited, unsolicited feedback is rarely looked at favorably and accepted favorably.

01:07:23.340 Why?

01:07:24.020 Because you haven't earned the right to give that individual feedback.

01:07:26.860 Kip, you, on the other hand, have in the case of this podcast, for example, earn the right to give me feedback because a, you're credible and B, we have a relationship where that's acceptable.

01:07:39.780 But if some guy comes in and has never podcast a day's life, I don't know who he is.

01:07:43.920 And he's like, yeah, your podcast sucks because X, Y, and Z, and you should do a, B, and C.

01:07:48.020 I'm going to say the same thing.

01:07:49.140 Shut the hell up.

01:07:50.120 You don't know what you're talking about.

01:07:51.800 And that individual hasn't earned the right.

01:07:53.840 Now, how does this fit in the context of what we're talking about?

01:07:56.280 Especially with like, I know this might be a friend or a brother or something, but in the context of a spouse, like how do you tell your wife that she's put on a few more pounds?

01:08:08.660 Good luck, right?

01:08:10.860 The only way that I think you can do that is by earning the right to give her that advice by the way that you're showing up in other places of your life.

01:08:21.820 And the other conversations that you've had and how many deposits that you've made into the bank account, the emotional bank account.

01:08:30.640 Do you tell her when she looks good?

01:08:32.280 Do you tell her when she's doing things right?

01:08:33.880 Do you thank her for all the wonderful things she does?

01:08:36.100 Do you thank her for raising your kids?

01:08:38.220 How are you showing up for her?

01:08:39.540 How are you giving her feedback?

01:08:40.740 And that way, when you need to bring something up that may be considered critical or constructive feedback, it's more well received because you're not taking withdrawals from an empty account.

01:08:50.640 So if you want to be able to share things with people that need to hear things, then you've got to find a way to be relevant in other areas of life and earn the right to give people the feedback they need to hear.

01:09:06.280 I hope that makes some sense.

01:09:07.860 It totally makes sense.

01:09:09.440 I mean, and that's why, you know, we talk about this in the Iron Council.

01:09:13.060 That's why it is so critical that we have our shit together.

01:09:18.900 Right.

01:09:19.340 Because guess what?

01:09:20.280 No one gives a shit about your advice if you don't – if you're not on the path of excellence.

01:09:27.240 You're not inspiring just because of you or even, to be frank, just because your ideas.

01:09:33.080 That's not sufficient.

01:09:34.600 What's the results?

01:09:36.660 Right?

01:09:36.920 And I'm not meaning to beat up this guy in particular, right?

01:09:39.880 Like I'm just kind of getting fired up on this idea that, like, there is no impact if we do not have our stuff together.

01:09:47.560 Period.

01:09:48.000 And so it is so super, super critical.

01:09:51.640 One idea that came to mind, Ryan, as you're sharing as from a – I guess like a tactic perspective for this given individual is, you know, as we're talking about being an example maybe to his friend here or his family member.

01:10:06.300 I don't know if it's like a brother or a family member or a friend.

01:10:10.020 But regardless, you know, why is he overweight?

01:10:14.560 Well, there's other stuff going on, right, obviously.

01:10:17.140 And so some of that might be, you know, psychological things.

01:10:21.600 I mean there's a lot at play than just losing weight, although I do think just losing weight would help on confidence and some of these other things.

01:10:30.540 But here's a tactic or a specific idea is go to him with the struggle that you have right now and communicate to him with the struggle.

01:10:41.660 Hey, man, I am really struggling with this.

01:10:44.300 And you know what?

01:10:45.180 I'm done with it.

01:10:46.720 I'm tired of it.

01:10:47.780 I'm tired of being a pushover.

01:10:49.740 I'm tired of being a pansy and letting this rule my life and I'm taking action.

01:10:57.080 I'm going to do these things.

01:10:58.820 I'm going to overcome this and become a better man and just share and get him fired up.

01:11:04.920 Get yourself fired up about what you're doing.

01:11:07.480 That's it.

01:11:08.820 And then keep him updated.

01:11:10.780 Create the opportunity where he can see that for himself.

01:11:15.160 He knows he's struggling with his weight.

01:11:17.780 He knows it.

01:11:18.840 You don't need to point it out.

01:11:20.500 He knows it.

01:11:21.940 He just doesn't know how to get out of the weeds.

01:11:23.940 So show him how to get out of the weeds and inspire him by something that you're doing.

01:11:28.680 Yeah.

01:11:29.080 Yeah.

01:11:29.580 Lead.

01:11:30.040 Lead from the front, right?

01:11:31.900 Yeah.

01:11:32.660 Totally.

01:11:34.100 All right.

01:11:36.060 Well, gentlemen, all the questions that we covered today, obviously from the Iron Council to learn more about the Iron Council or to join us, right?

01:11:44.000 To get on the path so you're doing the necessary stuff to actually be inspiring to other people.

01:11:48.780 You can learn more about the Iron Council at orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

01:11:53.680 And, of course, please join us on Facebook.

01:11:55.560 If you guys are already in the Facebook group, invite other people.

01:11:59.760 Let's spread the word.

01:12:01.940 Let's spread this movement, this battle that we are fighting and make lasting impacts in our families, in our communities.

01:12:09.500 You can join us on Facebook at facebook.com slash group slash Order of Man.

01:12:14.400 The Origin Camp from August 25th to September 1st is full.

01:12:20.600 Maybe Mr. Mickler could swing something if you absolutely need to be in.

01:12:26.500 Yeah, maybe.

01:12:27.260 But it is full.

01:12:28.540 August 10th through 11th is the Order of Man main event.

01:12:34.640 To learn more about that event, I'm assuming we still have a few openings available.

01:12:39.500 To learn more about it, you go to orderofman.com slash main event, and that's M-A-I-N-E event.

01:12:47.300 For Iron Council members, there will be an Iron Council-only dinner on the 10th.

01:12:54.080 You have to be a member of the IC.

01:12:55.740 If you want to attend that, you can also join the Iron Council first as part of that event to ensure that you can hang with the high-caliber men Friday night.

01:13:05.840 I like it.

01:13:06.440 I like it.

01:13:07.420 Hopefully, you'll make it out.

01:13:09.040 And if not, well, you're going to miss out.

01:13:11.260 But there will be other ones too, so keep that in mind.

01:13:13.880 Next time.

01:13:14.660 Yeah.

01:13:15.020 Guys, you can support the podcast by subscribing, inviting others, sharing the message, as well as representing Order of Man on what you wear.

01:13:24.660 To buy shirts, hats, and those other things, you can go to store.orderofman.com.

01:13:30.640 And then, of course, please follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler.

01:13:37.160 There it is.

01:13:38.240 Perfect.

01:13:39.380 All right, guys.

01:13:39.940 I hope we answered some good questions for you.

01:13:41.480 Those were good questions today.

01:13:42.920 So I was excited to answer those.

01:13:45.000 Some philosophical questions, some deep questions.

01:13:46.820 We talked about some areas that we don't normally address.

01:13:49.000 So that was good.

01:13:49.620 It was powerful.

01:13:50.580 All right, guys.

01:13:51.500 Appreciate you being on this path and this journey and appreciate you inspiring.

01:13:54.480 Both me and Kip.

01:13:55.840 I don't want to speak for Kip, but he's told me that.

01:13:58.300 So it's good to be part of this movement with you guys as well.

01:14:02.560 So we'll sign out for today until Friday for the Friday Field Notes.

01:14:06.200 Go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:14:09.460 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:14:12.360 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:14:16.000 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

01:14:19.480 Thank you.

01:14:19.820 Thank you.

01:14:24.100 Thank you.

01:14:24.420 Thank you.

01:14:24.600 Thank you.

Order of Man - July 10, 2019

Developing Presence, Improving the Quality of Life, and Establishing Work⧸Life Balance ｜ AMA

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