Order of Man - DEWAYNE NOEL ｜ Timeless Wisdom in Disturbing Times

00:00:00.220 It's been said that there isn't a whole lot of new information under the sun, just new

00:00:04.300 ways of saying it.

00:00:05.360 Now, I don't know if that's necessarily true, but one thing I know for certain is that my

00:00:09.420 guest today shares some of the most practical and life-transforming messages out there,

00:00:13.940 and he does it in a way that cuts through the noise and nonsense of modern times.

00:00:18.320 His name is Dwayne Noel, and he is the founder of Dry Creek Wrangler School.

00:00:23.060 Today, Dwayne and I talk about the power of genuineness, building yourself into a person

00:00:27.260 you like, not hate, why the right to be wrong is so powerful and liberating, dealing with

00:00:32.920 insecurities, operating in reality, the concept of what he calls cowboy energy and other timeless

00:00:38.920 wisdom in disturbing times.

00:00:40.920 You're a man of action.

00:00:42.360 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:46.720 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:51.120 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:55.680 This is your life.

00:00:57.280 This is who you are.

00:00:58.680 This is who you will become at the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you

00:01:03.580 can call yourself a man.

00:01:05.680 Gentlemen, what is going on today?

00:01:07.080 My name is Ryan Michler.

00:01:08.620 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement.

00:01:11.660 Welcome here today and welcome back.

00:01:13.860 I have got a very, very good podcast for you lined up today.

00:01:17.280 Somebody I know that you're really going to enjoy, you're going to resonate with, and you're

00:01:21.900 going to be inspired and transformed by the message that he shares.

00:01:25.440 Before I get into the introduction, if you're new, this is a podcast dedicated to helping

00:01:29.760 you become a better man, a more capable man, somebody who can go out and serve his family

00:01:35.720 and his friends and his community members as effectively and efficiently as possible.

00:01:40.680 And we do that by interviewing incredible men, successful men, dissecting what they have

00:01:46.180 to share, learning from them, and applying it in our own lives.

00:01:49.640 And today, again, I've got a good one for you.

00:01:52.120 Just want to also mention very briefly that the wait is over.

00:01:55.060 Our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council is back open tomorrow morning.

00:01:59.000 I'm going to talk more about it here in a minute, but for now, if you're wanting access

00:02:02.920 to our exclusive brotherhood, make sure you go to orderofman.com slash iron council.

00:02:08.680 That's orderofman.com slash iron council.

00:02:11.780 All right, guys, let's get into the conversation today.

00:02:14.860 This is a man I recently came across on social media.

00:02:17.560 Uh, and I can tell you, I immediately resonated with his timeless wisdom and short punchy messages

00:02:23.860 that have gone extremely, extremely viral in a very short amount of time.

00:02:28.520 His name is Dwayne Noel.

00:02:30.400 Uh, he has been living what he calls the horse life for 25 years.

00:02:35.300 He's the founder of dry Creek Wrangler school, but what you may recognize him for is what millions

00:02:40.580 of others have now seen.

00:02:41.580 It's his no nonsense, common sense commentary and approach to life.

00:02:46.760 And I think the reason that he's gone viral is in large part to the void of patriarchs

00:02:52.620 in society today.

00:02:53.560 And I, I think you're going to see what I mean.

00:02:55.020 So guys enjoy this special conversation.

00:03:00.100 Wayne, what's going on?

00:03:01.120 It's so great to see you and finally be able to connect with you kind of face to face.

00:03:05.200 I know this is kind of a weird setting, but a little better than just seeing you on the

00:03:08.300 Instagram.

00:03:09.540 Well, thank you.

00:03:10.700 It's good.

00:03:11.260 Good to be here.

00:03:12.040 Appreciate you inviting me and having me on.

00:03:14.880 You said this is the, uh, the first podcast that you've been a guest on.

00:03:19.240 Is that right?

00:03:20.080 It is.

00:03:20.760 Yes, sir.

00:03:21.780 I'm honored.

00:03:23.380 It, uh, I've recorded a few.

00:03:25.480 I just started my own and, uh, and so it's definitely, everything's a learning experience

00:03:32.120 for me from the beginning.

00:03:33.260 So how do you feel about your, uh, your, we'll call it maybe new, newfound notoriety or, or

00:03:41.300 popularity?

00:03:42.020 How, how, how has that, uh, process been?

00:03:44.720 It, it, it doesn't seem real.

00:03:47.420 I just, it doesn't seem, uh, it doesn't seem real.

00:03:52.180 It, uh, it's pretty, it wasn't something I set out to do.

00:03:57.440 It wasn't something I expected and, uh, and now it's still something that's a little hard

00:04:02.540 to process sometimes.

00:04:04.420 What was the, uh, what was the first message?

00:04:06.720 Did you, did you post something and something went viral?

00:04:09.380 I mean, I've watched a lot of your content.

00:04:11.020 I've listened to a lot of your podcasts and your talks and your short videos on Instagram,

00:04:14.860 but was there, was there a catalyst for this, a certain message or video that just went

00:04:20.980 gangbusters?

00:04:21.580 And I started out, um, just, uh, I, I was training horses and, uh, all my kids had left

00:04:31.260 home and, uh, and I have worked in wrangling industry for a lot of years and I started exploring

00:04:40.460 this whole YouTube thing.

00:04:41.780 And I just wanted to, um, make just a few little simple videos on YouTube of just practical

00:04:49.100 for young people wanting to go into wrangling, um, horses and, uh, just, just some practical

00:04:55.740 tips just to help out things.

00:04:57.260 I wish that I had known when I started.

00:04:59.760 And so I wanted to do that.

00:05:01.300 And then I also kind of wanted to leave something for my grandkids when I was gone, they could

00:05:06.300 get on and say, Hey, you know, there's grandpa.

00:05:09.220 And, uh, and my wife and I, we talked when it started and I said, well, you know, if we

00:05:14.660 wind up here in five or six years, if I've got 2000 people.

00:05:18.380 We're going to be really successful.

00:05:20.540 You know, that's wasn't, wasn't expecting anything.

00:05:23.680 And that's how we started out.

00:05:24.980 I mean, that, that's all we look for.

00:05:27.880 And then, uh, and, you know, and they told me now, if you want this thing to do right,

00:05:32.560 you've got to keep content pretty regular, you know, you've got to put content up and,

00:05:38.180 uh, I'm pretty mobile.

00:05:40.540 My lifestyle is pretty mobile.

00:05:42.180 It was more so back then.

00:05:43.920 And, and so there came a point where it's like, I wouldn't where the horses were.

00:05:48.560 And so, well, we need to do something.

00:05:50.380 So, well, let's just, we're making breakfast on the campfire this morning.

00:05:54.360 So let's, let's just video that and talk.

00:05:58.480 And that's still to this day.

00:06:00.000 That's one of my, that's one of my most watched videos.

00:06:03.780 It just, we, I just wasn't expecting that either.

00:06:08.360 And then we, and we got to a point, somebody said, my buddy, my wife and my best friend,

00:06:15.160 they kept saying, man, you need to do a cigar video.

00:06:17.860 And I said, nobody wants to watch me do a cigar video.

00:06:21.240 And so I didn't do it for weeks, but finally one day I was like, well, I need to put something

00:06:25.340 up.

00:06:25.920 And so I did it and it took off.

00:06:28.020 And, uh, and so that kind of built things up a little bit.

00:06:33.760 And then one day I just, uh, I don't remember which video it was.

00:06:38.640 Um, I think, I think it was, uh, I might've been like, just get off the interstate or where

00:06:46.940 I had come back from the mountains with my boys and, and talked about how it just kind

00:06:50.820 of everything kind of balanced body, soul, and spirit up there.

00:06:53.560 One of those right in there, it just kind of exploded.

00:06:57.540 And, uh, so I got, you know, folks started writing in and asking questions and, and then

00:07:02.880 I answered a couple of them and, and then just went a whole different direction.

00:07:07.660 It's, it's really interesting to see.

00:07:10.080 And with all due respect, a lot of the things that you share, I think, I think most people

00:07:15.320 would place them in the, especially the people that listen to this podcast and listen to you

00:07:19.820 would place your wisdom and timeless wisdom in the common sense category.

00:07:24.680 And yet there's, there's a reason that it resonates with people there.

00:07:30.140 There's something that you're either saying it or the way that you're saying it or the

00:07:33.660 way that you're presenting it, that makes it very compelling to, I imagine most of your

00:07:39.840 audiences, young men, I would imagine.

00:07:42.480 And, and I'm curious as to, to know why you think that is why a message that frankly has

00:07:49.720 been shared, but why is it the way you're saying it, what you're saying is resonating

00:07:53.760 with so many people, man?

00:07:56.280 I don't know.

00:07:56.980 Um, I, I have seven children and three of them are, I have three grown sons and four daughters

00:08:03.820 and I'm, um, I'm a seventh generation of my family born in raised there in Kentucky, just

00:08:13.580 farmers in the hills of Kentucky.

00:08:16.220 And I, I guess there's just a S a simplicity and a common sense from the background.

00:08:23.220 You know, there's not a lot of fluff, not a lot of, it's a good question.

00:08:28.360 I don't, I don't know.

00:08:30.180 I, I, I guess it's just the way it, the way one of the things I believe very strongly and

00:08:36.620 I, and I tell folks is your message is important, but the heart behind the message and the way

00:08:43.200 you deliver that message, uh, is just as important.

00:08:48.000 And, uh, I, you know, I've always had a heart for young people, especially young men.

00:08:54.080 And my wife and I over many years have taken, you know, young men that are where we're at 0.93

00:08:59.300 and they kind of lost their way.

00:09:00.860 It's that, well, I mean, I already got seven kids, one more isn't going to hurt, you know,

00:09:04.680 come on over and we'll, we'll fix you a pallet and you can stay here.

00:09:09.080 Do you get on your feet?

00:09:10.000 You know, we've always had a heart for that.

00:09:11.460 So, you know, maybe folks can tell that, you know, I actually do care.

00:09:16.560 And there's a lot of people out there that they just, they just want to know that somebody

00:09:21.680 actually cares, you know, I'm not, I'm not selling books to make money and, and I didn't

00:09:27.800 set out to do this to, to get a name.

00:09:30.020 I just, you know, I thought there's some young people out there that just need a little bit

00:09:35.040 of direction.

00:09:35.620 And I just kind of had a heart to do it, you know, from, from my perspective, if I can share

00:09:42.020 what I think, you know, there, there's a lot of genuineness in the way that you approach

00:09:46.600 what it is you're saying.

00:09:47.780 I think that's what you're talking about.

00:09:49.400 People see that that is genuine.

00:09:51.660 I also think that you have somewhat of a patriarchal presence about you, which I think is really

00:10:00.320 lacking in society today, especially for young men.

00:10:03.060 When you consider rates of divorce and you consider how many young men don't have either

00:10:07.280 permanent father figures in the home or even a father figure type role model.

00:10:11.620 And they're craving that they know deep down in every fiber of their DNA that they need a

00:10:17.760 father to show them the way and they've never had it.

00:10:20.720 I mean, I can't tell you how often I hear from guys who are, you know, 30, 40, even 50

00:10:25.060 years old who are saying to me, Hey man, my dad was never around.

00:10:29.340 I never learned any of this stuff.

00:10:30.880 And I, I'm a man by age, but I don't really feel like a man deep down in my soul because

00:10:36.920 nobody ever bestowed that upon him.

00:10:39.560 I agree.

00:10:40.380 I get the same thing.

00:10:41.400 I get the same feedback all the time.

00:10:44.920 Um, you know, I get a lot of people on the channel and it's like, Hey, there's it's uncle

00:10:50.900 Dwayne, man, he's stuff that we never got from family and, and, uh, just, and, and some,

00:10:58.240 you know, some, I think some young men, uh, what they did get, maybe they got in a very

00:11:05.640 judgmental, harsh manner.

00:11:09.300 And, uh, you know, I mean, you and I, we, we both, we were kids at one time and, uh,

00:11:17.000 you know, somebody can tell you, Hey, you know, that's a, you're going down a bad road,

00:11:22.640 but you, you starting to feel your oats, you know, and you're starting to feel like a man,

00:11:27.320 you wanting to find your way and spread your wings.

00:11:29.240 And, and sometimes if they, if they tell you good information, but they tell you in a very

00:11:35.880 combative way or not combative, but maybe challenging way, uh, we won't listen.

00:11:43.680 And, uh, and I, and I learned that when my boys were growing up, when my kids, my daughters,

00:11:49.820 my boys were growing up, I wasn't near as laid back and easy going as I am now.

00:11:57.020 I was, you, you're right.

00:11:59.220 Very patriarchal is the right word come from a very patriarchal family.

00:12:03.020 And, uh, you just, you didn't question your dad or your granddad.

00:12:07.360 And, uh, and I was pretty, um, strict and disciplinarian, you know, and so, and there's

00:12:14.080 things, my boys and I, we, we have a good relationship today, but there's still things

00:12:18.380 that we work on because of the things I taught them when they were growing up.

00:12:22.780 Uh, I didn't teach them in a way that, um, was easy for them to, it wasn't always palpable,

00:12:32.360 uh, palatable, you know, um, it wasn't always because they've got the same, they've got the

00:12:39.460 same redneck cowboy blood that I do.

00:12:42.620 Yeah.

00:12:43.240 Um, and, uh, so I, you know, I came at them the same way that my dad came at me or his dad

00:12:50.960 came at him and they responded the same way, you know?

00:12:54.540 Um, and, uh, so when I hit 50, I'm like, you know, it might be time to not, not recalibrate

00:13:04.580 the message, but recalibrate the manner in which I'm delivering the message.

00:13:10.160 And, uh, and that, that has helped a lot.

00:13:14.400 Was there, was there a, uh, a catalyst for that?

00:13:16.920 Was there a moment that you felt like, you know, maybe I, maybe I took something too far

00:13:22.280 and they responded one way and that triggered that for you.

00:13:25.540 Is it just a level of, of maturity at that point?

00:13:29.320 What, what, what caused that change in you?

00:13:31.260 Cause I, cause I feel the same way.

00:13:33.140 My kids are younger.

00:13:34.160 My oldest is 14.

00:13:35.260 My youngest is six.

00:13:36.160 I have four, three boys and a girl.

00:13:38.540 And now, you know, I'm 41 years old.

00:13:41.540 And even now I'm realizing, oh, you know, maybe there's a better way to do this.

00:13:46.600 I think what I'm sharing is good.

00:13:47.860 I think it comes from the right place, but maybe there's a better way for me to lead my children.

00:13:52.280 Um, there were a number of, I got to the point in life in that particular period, there were

00:14:00.760 a number of things, um, and I won't go into them here, but it just, everything came to a

00:14:06.280 head all at once.

00:14:08.200 And it was a culmination of a lot of years of a lot of anger, a lot of combativeness, um,

00:14:16.700 a lot of frustration.

00:14:18.540 And I got to the point one day that I'm like, you know what?

00:14:23.660 I don't like me.

00:14:25.400 I just don't like me.

00:14:27.060 I wouldn't buy me a cup of coffee.

00:14:28.900 You know, I'm, I'm a, I'm the kind of guy and, and then health issues, um, you know,

00:14:36.380 that kind of helped bring it to a head.

00:14:37.960 My blood pressure was through the roof and, uh, I lay in bed one night next to my wife.

00:14:43.420 She was sleeping and my heart started, um, going kind of crazy.

00:14:50.120 And there was a, you know, and the whole left arm and everything.

00:14:54.400 And I said, well, it looks like, it looks like it's all, it looks like it's all coming

00:14:59.140 to a head now.

00:15:00.320 And, uh, and I, and I said, I'm not going to wake her up.

00:15:03.540 I just, this is, this is going to put an end to all of the life of fight and anger and

00:15:10.040 frustration.

00:15:10.660 And, and, uh, so I'm just going to lay here and let it go.

00:15:14.840 And I'm just tired of fighting.

00:15:16.380 I'm tired of fighting the world.

00:15:17.700 I'm tired of fighting myself.

00:15:19.000 I'm tired of fighting my anger.

00:15:20.320 I'm tired of fighting everything.

00:15:22.080 And I woke up the next morning and I was still here.

00:15:25.400 And, uh, so I went to the doctor, I don't know, a couple of days later and they did EKGs

00:15:30.100 and he come back and said, yeah, there was a, there was a heart incident.

00:15:34.640 And, uh, and that was kind of just the final thing that made me say, I can't, I mean, at

00:15:42.520 50, I can't live like this the rest of my life.

00:15:45.080 And, and, uh, the problem is not the world around me.

00:15:51.040 The problem is inside everywhere I go in the world.

00:15:55.080 Uh, I have the same problem.

00:15:56.500 And so the only thing that's consistent everywhere I go is I'm there.

00:16:00.980 So I had to start looking at me and saying, look, I need to change who I am because not

00:16:08.620 only can I not continue to stay alive for another 20 years living like I have for the

00:16:14.360 last 50 and it wasn't, you know, wasn't drugs and alcohol and stuff like that.

00:16:19.160 It was just stress and frustration and anger and high blood pressure and just attacking

00:16:25.960 the world, you know, I'm trying to get something done.

00:16:29.580 And I said, I can't do this.

00:16:31.120 So I need to start making some changes and I, I need to start changing me.

00:16:35.480 Um, and when I, when I found, when I found that mellow spot that I didn't even know was

00:16:44.920 there inside of me, um, I, uh, it is, there's been times my wife is, it, it worried her to 0.64

00:16:53.600 start with.

00:16:54.020 She's like, are you okay?

00:16:55.660 You know, are you all right?

00:16:57.020 And I'm like, man, I'm better than I have been in forever.

00:17:01.000 It's like, I've got a mellow spot I found and I'm just enjoying it and, uh, and protecting

00:17:07.900 it jealously.

00:17:10.320 And, uh, and so, you know, and that, that began, that began the journey right there, I

00:17:15.240 guess.

00:17:16.880 You, uh, you did either a podcast or a video that I watched, uh, several days ago and you

00:17:22.640 were talking about expectations.

00:17:25.480 And one of the things that I hear you talking about now, or at least I'm interpreting it this

00:17:29.280 way and, and maybe it's through my own lens.

00:17:31.100 Cause this is how I feel is that I've really had to learn to let things go that I would

00:17:35.920 cling onto expectations of others, expectations about the way the world, you know, quote should

00:17:41.680 be.

00:17:42.800 And as I begin to let go of the expectations, I let go of the standards for other people.

00:17:48.420 I let go of the need to control others.

00:17:50.460 I find that mellow spot that you talk about as well.

00:17:55.120 Is that, was that part of your journey or how did you get to this point where you begin

00:18:00.920 to relax and let things go and not be so angry and bitter and contentious at the world and

00:18:06.840 everything around you?

00:18:08.380 I came to, I, one of the, I don't know, there was a series of things.

00:18:12.140 I came to the point that I'm like, you know what?

00:18:14.900 I have the right.

00:18:17.300 Now, some folks are probably not going to understand this.

00:18:20.020 I have the right to be wrong.

00:18:22.460 I mean, as a human, as a man living in this crazy society, raising kids, being a husband

00:18:32.460 and, and there is no, it's just not a perfect world.

00:18:36.940 And so we, we make decisions, you know, we try to make the best decisions that we can.

00:18:41.760 Um, but we don't always make the right decisions.

00:18:47.600 And, and so I came to the point, I'm like, you know what?

00:18:50.960 I'm just, I'm tired of letting others judgment of my wrong decisions, break me down.

00:18:58.260 I have the right to be wrong sometimes, you know, that's, that's part of being human.

00:19:03.600 Well, the natural follow-up to that is then you understand if you have any humility, if

00:19:11.420 you have any honesty at all, then if I demand that they let me have the right to be wrong

00:19:19.440 sometimes, then I have to be willing to let them have the right to be wrong sometimes too.

00:19:26.000 You know, if, if I, if I am not going to let people hammer on me when I make a wrong decision,

00:19:33.840 then I can't turn around and get frustrated and get angry and hammer on everybody around me.

00:19:41.020 If they're not making the decisions that I think they should.

00:19:44.340 And, uh, and there's a lot of freedom in that, you know, the old, the old saying, it's not my

00:19:49.900 rodeo, not my bull, you know, not my circus, not my monkeys.

00:19:53.600 And that's their life and it's their problem and it's their decisions.

00:19:58.720 And, uh, you know, if they come to me for advice and they want some help, I'm happy to

00:20:02.700 help.

00:20:03.020 But other than that, you know, all I want is to be left alone.

00:20:07.500 And so then, then, uh, I have to let them feel the same way and find their own way through.

00:20:14.060 You know, I don't know if that answers, but that, that was a big part of it.

00:20:19.780 That was a big part of my finding that spot.

00:20:24.140 It's like, look, I don't have to please everybody around me and everybody around me doesn't have

00:20:30.580 to please me.

00:20:33.080 And, uh, and I think if, if more of us can get to that point that I, I don't have to expect

00:20:41.620 myself to please you and nor do I have to expect you to please me.

00:20:46.720 There's a lot of freedom in that.

00:20:50.020 There's a lot of peace in that.

00:20:52.880 Yeah, no doubt.

00:20:53.980 When you talk about how you raised your kids, I'm sure that you got better at it over time

00:21:02.360 about figuring out, you know, how to, how to communicate effectively with your children,

00:21:06.560 right?

00:21:06.740 The first one, your oldest is a son.

00:21:09.420 Is that right?

00:21:09.860 Yes, I have, I have two sons and then I had my wife and I had four daughters and then

00:21:16.660 we had another son.

00:21:18.280 Oh, wow.

00:21:18.600 Okay.

00:21:19.040 Yeah.

00:21:20.120 So did, so they probably have seen your oldest has probably seen a different side of you than

00:21:26.720 your youngest, especially growing up or, or what's that timeline look like?

00:21:31.580 And then the follow-up question to that is, do your children now, any of them see them,

00:21:38.040 see, see where you're at now and what you're sharing and, and have a hard time reconciling

00:21:43.380 what they may have sought you as a father versus now this, this more timeless wisdom approach

00:21:48.660 that we're talking about now?

00:21:49.920 Oh, definitely.

00:21:51.780 Uh, there definitely is out of the seven, three of them, let's see, three of them may watch

00:22:02.320 the, the channel and listen, maybe three of them.

00:22:06.300 Okay.

00:22:06.740 You know, um, and, uh, and then the others, they're, they're just, and, and I understand

00:22:13.960 it, you know, I understand a hundred percent and I support it.

00:22:17.180 And they're just sitting back and watching and, and there's not, there's not a, there's

00:22:22.700 not a breach in our relationship.

00:22:24.740 I mean, it's like, there's not a, I don't have any, my children that are not speaking

00:22:29.200 to me.

00:22:29.520 It's nothing like that.

00:22:30.720 Got it.

00:22:31.340 Um, but there is a, there is a caution because I had a very, um, I had a very quick temper,

00:22:40.580 uh, when the kids were growing up and I was also very authoritative.

00:22:46.560 And, uh, but I look back on it and 99% of it was insecurity.

00:22:52.920 I had no idea what I was doing.

00:22:55.620 I had no idea how to raise kids and it was insecurity and it was fear.

00:23:00.360 I looked around at all of my contemporaries, my, and I saw all the kids that went bad.

00:23:11.640 And I grew up in a, in a very conservative and I'm, I'm not so much in that now, but I

00:23:17.400 grew up in a, in a very, very conservative, uh, deeply, uh, religious background.

00:23:24.280 Um, and, uh, and I saw so many, you know, the, the whole thing about preachers, kids,

00:23:31.640 you know, missionaries, kids, and preachers, kids.

00:23:34.400 And I saw so many of them go bad, you know, crash and burn.

00:23:39.340 And, uh, and I was terrified of losing even one child.

00:23:44.580 I'm not going to lose a child.

00:23:47.060 So, you know, I, I tell folks, and this isn't original, I don't know where I got it, but

00:23:51.640 raising children is like holding a wet bar.

00:23:55.040 So, um, if you squeeze it, if you grip it too tight, it's going to slip out of your hands.

00:24:00.940 And if you don't hold it tight enough, it's going to slip out of your hands.

00:24:04.400 And, but I was afraid of losing my children.

00:24:06.920 So I was very, very protective and not just protecting them from the world, but protecting

00:24:13.940 them from themselves, you know, so, which made me very strict.

00:24:19.160 And, uh, I was just, I was, I was a difficult, I guess I was, I was a difficult father, you

00:24:27.340 know, to be, to be raised by, uh, it, it has its, I mean, it has its payoff.

00:24:34.000 I wasn't like physically abusive or anything like that.

00:24:37.060 Just, I wasn't a very calming man to be around, but my oldest son, uh, is a firefighter.

00:24:43.940 In Idaho.

00:24:45.580 My second son is a, is a, uh, a hunting guide and a packer in Idaho.

00:24:50.000 My, the third child, my daughter is, is a, a mother of three and happily married.

00:24:57.060 And my next daughter is, uh, she's very grounded.

00:25:01.060 She's coming out to Wyoming to the school this summer to cook for us. 0.99

00:25:04.780 She's, uh, she's an excellent cook. 1.00

00:25:07.580 And, uh, my next daughter is, is, uh, she works in a bank and she's going out with a, 0.99

00:25:15.240 with a very excellent young man right now.

00:25:17.760 And they're planning their future.

00:25:19.260 Uh, my next daughter is happily married and she has a baby.

00:25:22.360 Uh, and then my youngest, my son, he's, he's cowboying and doing well.

00:25:27.220 I just texted with him yesterday in Texas.

00:25:29.480 And so, you know, they all turned out well, I didn't, I didn't lose any of them, you know,

00:25:34.840 and I, there's not a lot of people that I think that can say that they raised seven children

00:25:42.400 in this society, in this day and age and didn't lose any.

00:25:46.720 So, you know, there are regrets, but there's also positives about it.

00:25:51.940 Um, and, uh, so, but anyhow, I'm sorry to, to return to your question.

00:25:59.120 They, they are, there is some, some of them are still waiting to reconcile what they see

00:26:07.640 now with what they were raised with and no, my, my youngest didn't have it any easier

00:26:14.760 than my oldest did.

00:26:16.100 I'm a slow learner.

00:26:17.320 I'm, I'm that three-legged dog I talked about.

00:26:19.760 I, um, no, I think they all had it equally strict.

00:26:23.960 Yeah, no, I think that's valuable because most of the men listening know that they want to

00:26:30.860 change their life in some way.

00:26:32.280 And I appreciate you saying that it starts with us.

00:26:34.940 It starts with us individually.

00:26:35.960 If you, if we look around and everything around us is crappy, well, we're the, we're the common

00:26:40.100 denominator in that, right?

00:26:41.900 So I appreciate you bringing that up.

00:26:43.180 And I think most of the guys that, that, that too long and follow and are banded with us in

00:26:46.840 some way want to change.

00:26:49.020 One of the hardest things is realizing that even though you have the heart to change, not

00:26:55.900 everybody's going to buy into it.

00:26:57.860 And even those that buy into it are going to come along the path with a lot of trepidation,

00:27:03.380 very, very wary of whether or not this is lasting change.

00:27:08.800 And unfortunately, in a lot of ways, we just don't have control over whether or not somebody

00:27:13.540 acknowledges our desire to change.

00:27:15.800 And even if it does, it might take years, if not decades to reconcile the two.

00:27:21.200 Well, Ryan, you know what the difference is for me right now?

00:27:24.300 Well, I like me, I like me, I would buy me a cup of coffee.

00:27:31.340 I would sit down and have a cigar with me.

00:27:34.260 Uh, and it wasn't like that before.

00:27:36.460 And you know, if a man gets to the point where he's like, I'm not the best man.

00:27:41.740 Um, but I'm a good man and those who can't see it, it's okay.

00:27:51.260 Uh, I'm doing what I'm doing because that this is who I want to be.

00:27:55.360 And this is who I need to be.

00:27:57.220 And often that's enough.

00:27:59.280 We, you, we have to get to the point where we like us.

00:28:05.280 And I don't mean that in a narcissistic, arrogant way, but I mean, you know, we, we, we look

00:28:12.040 at a, a picture, an idea of what a good man is or should be.

00:28:21.440 And then we looked and see if, if we're in that prism, if we're in that parameter and

00:28:25.980 we're like, you know what?

00:28:28.440 I'm, I've got issues.

00:28:31.560 Everybody does.

00:28:32.500 We're all human.

00:28:33.420 None of us walk on water, you know?

00:28:35.640 Um, but all in all, by and large, I think I'm a pretty good feller and I can sit down

00:28:41.260 and have a cup of coffee.

00:28:43.360 Like I said, have a cigar, have a pipe in peace and, and be happy with myself.

00:28:49.120 And if I can do that, uh, then if somebody comes along and they're not happy with me,

00:28:54.340 um, it doesn't carry as much weight.

00:28:58.240 What are some things that you did in your life as you made this transition from somebody

00:29:02.520 who doesn't like yourself to becoming somebody who does like, and would have a cigar with

00:29:06.600 what are some, some things that you did in order to make yourself feel more confident

00:29:14.540 in who you are?

00:29:15.980 And like, as you said, a pretty good fella.

00:29:18.660 My biggest problem was a lack of peace, a lack of calmness.

00:29:23.420 And so, and, and I don't know if this goes fully a hundred percent to your question,

00:29:29.640 but I, I got to the point.

00:29:32.740 It's like, what is it that I don't like about myself?

00:29:37.300 All right.

00:29:38.040 That was at the beginning.

00:29:38.960 What is it?

00:29:39.420 I don't like, well, I don't like that.

00:29:41.460 I'm so angry and so combative all the time.

00:29:45.380 And a lot of my problems at that time stemmed from that.

00:29:50.020 And so, well, then that's what I need to change.

00:29:52.960 So how do we change that?

00:29:54.880 Well, I get things out of my life that make me angry and combative that disturb my peace.

00:30:00.260 That's what I say.

00:30:01.080 When we start school, like the first, we have the first orientation for the week and I sit

00:30:06.640 down and we have, you know, rules.

00:30:08.500 And I say, look, rule number one this week, guys.

00:30:10.940 And if you follow rule number one, uh, everything else will fall into place.

00:30:15.360 Rule number one is do not disturb Dwayne's calm.

00:30:19.560 And, uh, you know, and then we go from there.

00:30:21.700 So anybody, anything in my life or anybody in my life that was just constantly

00:30:28.820 ginning me up and disturbing my calm, I got rid of it.

00:30:33.820 Uh, and that included family.

00:30:35.580 And, uh, I just, I walked away, you know, people that I absolutely could not satisfy or

00:30:44.460 could not please.

00:30:46.060 Uh, I just closed the door on them.

00:30:48.260 Just, just walked away, you know, and the things in life and, and my wife has been extremely

00:30:54.540 supportive and, uh, she'll, uh, cause it, you know, it's not one big thing.

00:30:59.800 Life is made up of a kajillion little tiny things.

00:31:03.500 And so we'll, I'll take her to town.

00:31:05.820 We, and by the way, she and I, our marriage is, is, uh, man, it's a thousand times better

00:31:12.320 than it's ever been.

00:31:13.200 Um, but we'll go to town, you know, to run errands and do stuff.

00:31:19.040 And, uh, we'll go to Walmart to pick stuff up and she'll, you know, she'll tell me, she's

00:31:26.020 like, look, why don't you just sit here in the truck in the parking lot, have a cigar

00:31:30.380 and I'll go into Walmart, you know, because Walmart disturbs me.

00:31:38.200 It is a disturbing place.

00:31:40.260 It is a disturbing place.

00:31:42.540 And, uh, so, I mean, just little tiny things like that is like, no, just, just don't, you

00:31:47.240 know, that, that just, just the, what, what is it in life that keeps you ginned up?

00:31:52.820 That just keeps you fired up.

00:31:54.340 That keeps you angry.

00:31:55.260 And how much of that can you just get rid of?

00:31:57.320 And, uh, you know, some of it may be life circumstances.

00:32:02.620 Some of it may be people, uh, some of it may be dietary.

00:32:08.760 Um, and, uh, and it's a combination of all of it, but the biggest, I would say overall,

00:32:17.160 the biggest changes I made was to, to identify what it was that, um, that kept me.

00:32:27.320 Kept me in a state of unlikableness, if you will, and get rid of it.

00:32:32.740 Yeah.

00:32:33.800 Yeah.

00:32:34.480 Yeah.

00:32:34.880 That's powerful.

00:32:35.540 I don't think we examine that all too often.

00:32:37.400 You know, we, we know that there's things that are unhealthy or, or, or negative.

00:32:41.460 You know, it's interesting about that though.

00:32:43.260 We, we, we actually keep those things in our lives because there's some sort of perceived

00:32:47.220 value from those things.

00:32:48.440 Like we would absolutely immediately get rid of them.

00:32:52.640 If there wasn't something we perceived to be gaining by those relationships or those

00:32:57.160 behaviors or those substances.

00:32:59.340 So there is something that we get from it.

00:33:02.080 Like what?

00:33:02.840 Give me an example.

00:33:04.180 Uh, alcohol would be a great example.

00:33:06.540 You know, many men I've, I've had my own struggles with alcohol and I've been verbal and vocal

00:33:10.160 about that.

00:33:10.780 Uh, where I know that's not good for me.

00:33:13.360 I know what kind of person I've become.

00:33:15.020 I know I don't like that person.

00:33:16.480 I know I'm not productive and yet it's a pretty good little escape mechanism, at least temporarily.

00:33:22.380 And so there's a benefit to that substance.

00:33:24.700 Although I know how destructive it is for me.

00:33:28.260 Right.

00:33:28.700 Right.

00:33:29.760 And there's that.

00:33:31.480 And, and, uh, there's also like people in our life and, uh, it's like it, how will the

00:33:39.980 rest of my family look at me?

00:33:43.440 If I cut this family member off, if I, you know, how is that going to affect my standing

00:33:51.920 with other members of the family?

00:33:54.040 Um, and, uh, you know, if I, if I just cut somebody from my phone, you know, one of my

00:34:03.360 friends, uh, was someone who was a friend or I considered a friend or they considered a

00:34:08.460 friend, considered to be friend, but it was just negative all the time.

00:34:13.220 Couldn't, couldn't ever match up.

00:34:14.800 Couldn't ever.

00:34:15.680 And it just kept me in a perpetual state of, uh, frustration and, and anxiety.

00:34:23.260 What's going to be the, what is going to be the effect on my relationship with others

00:34:30.620 in that circle?

00:34:31.620 If I just cut them out.

00:34:33.660 Right.

00:34:34.060 And so that makes it, that makes it hard.

00:34:36.980 Um, but it's like everything else in life.

00:34:40.060 You have to, uh, you have to count the cost.

00:34:44.060 Yeah.

00:34:44.900 You know, is, is what is what you're paying worth what you're getting?

00:34:50.200 Uh, and that sounds, that sounds kind of mercenary.

00:34:53.840 Um, but it's just survival, you know, uh, if it is what this relationship costing me,

00:35:01.500 is it worth, you know, and sometimes we go out of our way and we sacrifice in a relationship

00:35:08.360 to help somebody else, you know, who needs help, who wants help, who is accepting and,

00:35:14.900 and it's all costs on our side and that's okay.

00:35:18.940 But it's the people that we're paying to help who are not trying to help themselves, who

00:35:25.140 are giving no return to us or to themselves.

00:35:28.080 And it's just not worth the price.

00:35:29.780 It's not worth the cost.

00:35:31.660 Um, I can't, we, we have to, and there's a balance, but we got to come to the place.

00:35:38.280 It's like, I can't live your life for you.

00:35:39.860 And I can't let you destroy my life because you refuse to live your life.

00:35:45.620 Um, you know, and so it's a price.

00:35:48.940 There's a, there's a cost.

00:35:51.140 All right, man, I'm just going to take a pause from the conversation.

00:35:53.700 Very briefly.

00:35:54.340 We'll get right back to it.

00:35:55.720 As I said earlier, the wait is over tomorrow morning.

00:35:58.180 We're opening back up our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. 0.84

00:36:02.000 Now, if you're not familiar with what we do, uh, the iron council is a powerful resource

00:36:06.320 of over 1400 men all working together to improve their lives.

00:36:11.940 And when you band with us, you're going to unlock access to these men, uh, the tools and

00:36:16.700 resources that you need to thrive and the accountability that so many of us want, but

00:36:21.780 lack so badly.

00:36:23.060 Now we're only going to be open for a very, very short period of time.

00:36:26.400 So if you're ready to step up to the challenge and drastically improve every area of your life,

00:36:31.120 now is the time.

00:36:32.460 I know firsthand how powerful this brotherhood can be because I use it in my own personal

00:36:38.280 life.

00:36:38.520 In fact, over the past several months, I relied heavily on the men in my own challenging and

00:36:44.340 stressful, uh, times in life.

00:36:47.700 And I can tell you, I would not be where I am today without this brotherhood.

00:36:51.020 So if you're interested, you want to band with other good men, you want to have accountability.

00:36:55.680 You want to improve your life.

00:36:57.420 Join us now at order of man.com slash iron council.

00:37:01.680 Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council.

00:37:04.800 You can do that right after we finish up the conversation for now.

00:37:08.060 Let's get back to it with Dwayne.

00:37:10.100 Yeah.

00:37:10.540 I think that costs that cost analysis for, for lack of a better term is important.

00:37:14.340 You know, as you were saying that I was thinking about what somebody else might gain from

00:37:18.300 maintaining a toxic or negative relationship.

00:37:21.320 And it might be that they pride themselves on being helpful or charitable.

00:37:25.340 Like you mentioned, uh, it might be that they pride themselves on being, you know,

00:37:28.900 strong and tough and be able to work through these things.

00:37:31.260 And there's another one that I think is a real big issue, which there's something to

00:37:35.400 be said for it is they pride themselves on being loyal.

00:37:38.640 And so they'll, they'll be loyal to a classmate from high school.

00:37:44.060 They, they had a relationship with 20 years ago at the expense of everybody's wellbeing,

00:37:48.980 because they place loyalty above all of these other benefits of maybe not continuing that

00:37:54.680 relationship.

00:37:57.000 Well, I agree.

00:37:58.600 Um, and I think where people misunderstand and where they go wrong is loyalty is the

00:38:05.300 way I look at it.

00:38:06.340 And, and, you know, there may be some folks listening to this that they may have to chew

00:38:10.620 on this and contemplate this for a little bit, cause it's a different way of coming at

00:38:14.100 it.

00:38:15.080 Um, but loyalty is, it's a contract.

00:38:18.360 It's a two way street.

00:38:20.440 Loyalty is not a one way street.

00:38:23.600 Um, there are those who don't, who will not see it that way and that's okay.

00:38:27.960 Um, but if I am loyal to, um, to a person and, and that person is not equally loyal to me,

00:38:40.360 uh, then it's not, it's not loyalty.

00:38:45.260 Now somebody will fall.

00:38:47.520 I mean, you know, we've all had friends who've crashed and burned, who've hit a wall,

00:38:51.960 you know, and, uh, and there's loyalty during hard times.

00:38:56.360 I'm not saying that, but you talk about the friend from high school or something who's never

00:39:03.140 returned, never returned that regard.

00:39:07.960 Never returned that loyalty.

00:39:11.140 Then what are we being loyal to?

00:39:14.160 There's loyalty, but what are we actually being loyal to?

00:39:18.600 We're not being loyal to, to a friendship because a friendship takes two.

00:39:22.400 And if they've never returned their side of things, then there was never a friendship to

00:39:26.980 start with.

00:39:27.480 So you're being loyal to something that never actually existed.

00:39:31.320 Interesting.

00:39:31.840 Yeah.

00:39:33.000 You're almost talking about the relationship is this separate entity that you're being

00:39:37.840 loyal to like a relationship or, or the agreement, even if it's not clearly stated, the agreement

00:39:44.380 is that there's this friendship, there's you as a person.

00:39:47.220 And then there's this friendship and we need to be loyal to the relationship.

00:39:50.020 But if you quote unquote, breach that contract, so to speak, like then I'm being loyal to

00:39:57.180 something that isn't actually real.

00:39:59.380 That isn't, that isn't something I need to pledge my allegiance to.

00:40:03.200 Being loyal to a concept, you know, it's, it's like horses, you know, people will go out and

00:40:07.420 buy, they'll buy a horse cause they like the idea of a horse.

00:40:10.860 Um, you know, they grew up with posters on the wall and, and, uh, you know, and they'll,

00:40:17.840 they like the idea of a horse, but when they get a horse, uh, and they have to go out there

00:40:24.220 and clean the stalls every day and they have to feed the horse and they got to bust the

00:40:28.040 ice and the water trough in the wintertime and they got to pay for all the tack and pay

00:40:32.440 for the vet bill and pay for the farrier.

00:40:34.840 And, and then they go riding and the riding isn't like they thought it was going to be.

00:40:38.960 Um, they get out of horses because they liked the idea of horses.

00:40:45.920 They liked the dream of horses more than they liked the reality of horses and, uh, and the

00:40:54.540 price that it costs, um, to have a horse.

00:40:58.220 So the idea of a horse was much more appealing than the reality of a horse.

00:41:04.240 Uh, and I think a lot of relationships are like that.

00:41:07.240 Um, the idea of the relationships, what we wish that relationship was is a lot more appealing

00:41:13.980 than the reality of what the relationship is, uh, friendships and such.

00:41:18.980 And so when we stay loyal, when there's nothing there, we're staying loyal to what we wish the

00:41:24.560 relationship actually was.

00:41:26.200 We're staying loyal to the, um, um, the idea of the friendship as opposed to the reality of

00:41:37.080 the friendship that's not there.

00:41:39.600 And, and all that does, all that does is tear us up inside, um, and takes pieces away from

00:41:47.240 us that we could give to somebody else who was, who is a value and who values us.

00:41:52.380 Yeah, that's a, that's an interesting point.

00:41:54.940 I watched one of your videos and you were talking about this.

00:41:57.360 This was interesting.

00:41:58.060 Speaking of relationships, you were talking about how we want these relationships so bad.

00:42:02.480 And like you're saying now, the idea of the relationship that we make up this thing that

00:42:07.820 we want in our minds, and then we'll take a person, whether that's really who they are

00:42:13.020 or not, and we'll try to cram them into this, into this mold or into this picture that we've

00:42:19.020 created.

00:42:19.360 And then we'll try to justify and make up all these stories about why that person is what

00:42:24.980 we thought we desired when the reality paints an entirely different story.

00:42:29.220 Right, exactly.

00:42:30.780 Um, and you know, I'm in the point now, and this is extremely liberating.

00:42:35.920 I mean, I'll be, well, I don't know, how old will I be in April?

00:42:40.960 I think I'll be 56.

00:42:43.360 Um, I've lived a very unusual, very full, very full life.

00:42:49.420 So my views on friendship now, uh, are it, you know, someone comes along a possible new

00:42:57.600 friend.

00:42:57.880 It's like, I've lived 56 years without this person.

00:43:01.760 I don't need them.

00:43:03.980 You know, they, they did not get me where I am now.

00:43:07.300 Now, if they want to be friends, if they want, you know, even the Bible says, uh, a man that

00:43:13.180 hath friends must show himself friendly.

00:43:15.560 And if a man wants to be a friend, he's going to have to behave as a friend. 0.57

00:43:20.920 I don't have friends because I need friends.

00:43:24.820 And I don't need, I don't need someone's name in my contacts in my phone so that I can say,

00:43:35.240 Hey, I have that friend.

00:43:36.860 I don't, I don't need it.

00:43:38.340 If they're not going to behave as a friend, uh, then it's easy to just walk away.

00:43:44.180 I, I have gotten past the idea of friendship being bigger than the reality of friendship.

00:43:51.980 And, uh, there is a friend that's taken closer than a brother.

00:43:55.680 And, uh, if, if a friend isn't going to be at that level, then all they're going to do

00:43:59.980 is cost me.

00:44:01.060 And I don't mean cost me, you know, financially or anything, but they're just, they're going

00:44:05.520 to cost me my peace.

00:44:06.680 And, uh, they're going to cost me my, my calmness and, and the place where I am now.

00:44:13.520 And it's just not, it's a contract and they got to pay their side.

00:44:17.740 They can't expect me to pay everything.

00:44:20.460 Yeah.

00:44:20.760 Yeah.

00:44:21.260 Well, you, one of the things you've alluded to the school a couple of times now is, can

00:44:25.900 you talk to me about what, what the school is that is that for specifically horses and

00:44:31.760 horse wrangling, or is that, is that something else?

00:44:34.180 What is the school you're referring to?

00:44:35.540 It's a, so it's dry Creek wrangler school.

00:44:38.800 Um, so the school is classes are a week long and we provide all the housing and, uh, and

00:44:46.360 three meals a day.

00:44:47.480 And so it's the base idea was young people and not so young people who wanted to actually

00:44:55.900 get back to that life, who wanted to learn, um, to wrangle, to pack, um, and, uh, you

00:45:04.900 know, to work the life actually as a living of in horses to come out and get a week's

00:45:11.760 worth of schooling to get them started.

00:45:13.660 Now we also have folks who, who are like, they call and they say, I don't want to go

00:45:18.660 into wrangling and I don't want to go into packing, but I do want to improve, uh, my

00:45:24.880 horsemanship, uh, for the sake of my horse.

00:45:27.660 You know, I do want, and so they'll come out and, uh, spend a week at the school and

00:45:32.980 it's, it's not like, um, it's not a writing school.

00:45:37.460 It's not a, a school to come out and teach her.

00:45:40.660 It teaches you horsemanship.

00:45:41.760 It teaches the, um, the basic how horses think the relationship communication with horses.

00:45:49.520 We go in depth to the reality.

00:45:51.880 Then there's a lot more to it than people think on saddles, bits and head stalls.

00:45:57.800 We deal with the dietary, what horses need, you know, to eat the feed, what's good and

00:46:02.500 what's not, um, what a horse owner needs to know about taking care of a horse's hooves and

00:46:08.440 getting a good farrier.

00:46:09.520 Just the basic overview of horsemanship all around, um, from a practical.

00:46:15.700 I don't know philosophical is the right word, but from a practical philosophical, uh, point

00:46:22.800 of view.

00:46:23.260 And I, I've had a number of, of young men come through the school, uh, that came through

00:46:29.340 this last year and they're actually working in the industry.

00:46:32.040 Now they went and got jobs.

00:46:34.340 So, yeah, I imagine that you, you would, if you haven't already, I imagine that you'll

00:46:40.280 probably get requests from individuals who aren't interested in lifestyle at all.

00:46:44.840 Maybe they don't even have a horse, but they can see it as you talked about more of the

00:46:48.280 philosophical side of life, but they can use it as a metaphor and a catalyst for change

00:46:53.220 in their lives, even though they may not be interested in this, uh, this wrangling type

00:46:57.840 lifestyle.

00:46:59.480 We've had, this is our second year and we're relocating next month, uh, out to Wyoming.

00:47:05.680 We've been, this year we were in Tennessee and we're relocating to Wyoming at this.

00:47:10.340 So in 2022, we were in Tennessee and here in 2023, we're going to be out of Sheridan.

00:47:16.860 And so we have had families and we've had people contact, contact and say, look, um, we're not

00:47:23.460 really horse people.

00:47:27.180 Um, and we're definitely not wanting to go into the industry.

00:47:30.680 Um, but they've been watching, you know, the YouTube channel and stuff and it's like, you

00:47:36.080 know, can we, can we just come out for a week, you know, and just do, do some writing, but

00:47:44.060 we're not a dude ranch, you know, we are a school, but can we come out just, uh, you know,

00:47:49.260 just to absorb the, the different viewpoint on life or what, just to sit down and talk for

00:47:54.860 a week.

00:47:55.660 And so we are starting to get more requests, uh, of that sort.

00:48:00.780 And again, it's, that's not what we set out to do.

00:48:04.580 That's not what we saw our strong point or our, but you know, this whole thing's been

00:48:11.360 very organic.

00:48:12.220 It's, it's grown on its own.

00:48:14.140 It's taken a life of its own.

00:48:16.180 So we're just kind of riding it where it goes.

00:48:19.540 Yeah.

00:48:19.580 I imagine that's the case.

00:48:20.460 I know it has been for me over the years, thinking about what I wanted this to be when

00:48:25.020 we started versus what it is now is in the same vein, but a lot different than I anticipated

00:48:31.900 and imagined that it would be, but also being able to acknowledge what your strengths are

00:48:37.800 also acknowledging what people resonate with and how you're serving them.

00:48:42.560 Because ultimately a lot of people think that we individually get to determine what's

00:48:48.160 valuable to others, but we don't, they get to determine the consumer does, right.

00:48:52.160 They get to determine what's valuable.

00:48:53.800 And as long as it's an alignment with what we believe in, what we want to do in the kind

00:48:57.420 of life that we want to leave or live, uh, then, you know, we can use that as feedback

00:49:03.140 for what is going to be valuable to people and what's going to serve them well.

00:49:07.280 Right.

00:49:07.720 We, you know, we can't, we think we know what people need, but we don't, we don't really

00:49:13.400 know what people need, you know, but we have to be humble enough and we have to be wise

00:49:18.000 enough just as humans to when somebody determines that this is what they, they know what they

00:49:25.940 need, then we have to be, we have to have the wisdom to say, okay, but I can't provide

00:49:33.000 that.

00:49:33.540 You need to, you need to find somebody who's more qualified, um, who's better prepared,

00:49:40.580 uh, to provide that for you.

00:49:43.080 And, uh, because I can't, I can't provide that.

00:49:47.120 You talk about, uh, cowboy energy, you know, that we're kind of tiptoeing along that right

00:49:51.780 now.

00:49:52.060 I'd love for you to describe what that is.

00:49:53.800 I, I grew up until I was about 13 years old in Southern California, zero cowboy energy.

00:49:59.740 Uh, I moved to a small, very rural town in Southern Utah, where I was introduced to ranching,

00:50:07.960 uh, sheep herding, uh, the rodeo.

00:50:11.540 And I mean, there is, there is a definitive energy with the ranching and cowboy lifestyle.

00:50:17.460 Well, the best way.

00:50:19.500 So the last ranch I worked on actually cattle ranch was in Colorado a couple of years ago.

00:50:25.380 And, uh, that ranch had about a thousand head of cattle.

00:50:31.460 Um, and we, and then we joined in, in the summer with three or four other ranchers and

00:50:37.960 put all of our cattle up on grazing leases up in the mountains.

00:50:41.660 And so we had to move a lot of cattle periodically, uh, you know, maybe five to 800 head at a time.

00:50:50.060 And that's mama cows, uh, with the calves, the babies behind them through some pretty rough

00:50:55.260 terrain.

00:50:56.080 And you learn in a hurry.

00:50:59.060 If you're, if you're teachable, uh, that the best way to move cattle fast is to move them

00:51:04.660 slow, uh, to, to be calm because when you start pushing a herd of cattle, so the calves walk

00:51:12.780 much slower than mama does.

00:51:15.000 So what you wind up with is you, the babies are in the back with the old cows.

00:51:19.740 All right.

00:51:20.060 So you've got a bunch of little calves and if you push too hard, if you try to push them

00:51:25.540 too hard, uh, they scatter, they bust up and scatter.

00:51:30.200 They, they get scared.

00:51:31.300 But if you come in and you push them easy and you push them at a calm rate, a calm pace,

00:51:37.080 they'll move away from you calmly and keep moving forward.

00:51:41.320 But if you come in with too much energy, then all you do is you bust up the herd and you,

00:51:46.720 you, the calves will, they'll break off and you're chasing calves and trying to bring them

00:51:51.060 back in.

00:51:52.200 Um, and, uh, your horse on horses, they get, they feed off of you.

00:52:00.340 So the rider, if you have a calm horse and you're a very nervous, energetic, spastic kind 1.00

00:52:08.040 of person, your horse will, will start coming up to your level.

00:52:12.020 But if you have a, a young, nervous, spastic horse, but you're a calm, experienced rider, 0.98

00:52:18.080 your horse will gather calmness from you and, and they'll start coming down to your level.

00:52:24.360 And so the energy, you know, the cowboy energy is working, working cattle at a, at a calm,

00:52:35.680 deliberate pace.

00:52:38.380 Whereas, you know, rodeo energy, everything's on the clock.

00:52:42.860 Right.

00:52:43.220 Um, and, uh, so there's no, there, there is no calmness there.

00:52:47.620 The horses aren't calm.

00:52:48.740 The cowboys aren't calm and the calves are not meant to be right.

00:52:51.820 No, uh, and so the energy, it's a calm, it's, it's just a calm, deliberate.

00:53:00.000 Now everything is, uh, in balance.

00:53:03.120 So when you get, when you get a, a herd quitter, uh, you'll get a, a, a little bit older calf

00:53:10.360 that's not nursing on mom anymore. 1.00

00:53:12.660 That's kind of finding its independence and, uh, it keeps wanting to, to split and bust off

00:53:19.060 and go find its own thing.

00:53:20.720 And so when that's a herd quitter, that's what a herd quitter keeps quitting the herd.

00:53:24.680 Got it.

00:53:25.140 Okay.

00:53:25.660 And so you've got to be able to turn in and immediately punch up the energy and take off,

00:53:30.680 you know, and get in front of it and turn it and bring it back in.

00:53:34.480 But one of the things about that make the American quarter horse, the, well, that's a whole nother

00:53:42.400 deal, um, the, the real original American quarter horse that make them so uniquely qualified

00:53:50.440 as cow horses is they have an ability to, you can turn them and take off after a herd

00:53:57.760 quitter and they can punch their energy up, full up, run a dead gallop, get around that

00:54:03.020 calf and turn them back in.

00:54:05.060 But when you push that calf back into the herd, that horse has to go immediately calm again

00:54:10.480 back into calm.

00:54:11.500 Sure.

00:54:11.760 They have to drop that energy right back down because if they don't, it'll transfer to the

00:54:17.640 herd and the herd will get nervous where you get some of your more hot blooded horses, some

00:54:22.200 of your more running breaded horses like thoroughbreds who love to run, born to run.

00:54:27.640 And so you take off after a calf and you give them the chance to run, they get that running

00:54:32.600 blood up. And then when you turn the calf back in the herd, they can't turn that running blood

00:54:37.120 back off. They can't go from rodeo energy back down to cowboy energy. And so life is you go through

00:54:43.060 life with cowboy energy. And then sometimes if you've got to turn a herd quitter back, then you turn on

00:54:48.820 that high end energy, you go get it and you come back and then you come back down and you calm back

00:54:54.840 down. Otherwise your energy is going to transfer to the herd being life and it's going to keep

00:55:01.140 busting up on you.

00:55:03.220 Yeah, that's interesting because we all know people and we've all been those type of people

00:55:06.520 where it's just high energy, high stress, high, strong loves drama in our lives. And, and then

00:55:13.100 we have people in my life that, you know, they'll be yelling at their kids, for example, screaming at

00:55:18.200 the top of the lungs and the kid yells back and then they get upset that the kids yells back.

00:55:21.760 Like, well, where do you think they learned that from? And it, you know, we can't see it when

00:55:25.980 we're doing it, but it's very apparent when you're a casual observer of what's happening

00:55:31.660 here.

00:55:32.740 Right. Well, if you take, so if you take a, you fill up a bathtub of water, all right. And

00:55:39.100 fill that bathtub of water and go down there and kneel beside that bathtub of water and

00:55:42.860 take your hand, raise it up in the air as high as you can, and then bring it down as fast

00:55:49.080 as hard as you can. And what's going to happen? You splash that water everywhere. Well, you're

00:55:55.400 not going to splash it. You're going to hit it and you're going to hurt your hand. It's like a

00:55:59.200 belly flop. It's going to be like concrete. Yeah. The faster you come down, you're going to hit that

00:56:03.860 and you're not going to penetrate into that water very well. Got it. Okay. Okay. But if you do the

00:56:09.920 exact same thing and you come down at half speed, half of that speed, you're going to go right in

00:56:16.480 the water. If you bring down at quarter speed, you're going to come in, you're going to go right

00:56:20.720 down and you can go down there and I don't know, grab that rubber deck here, whatever you're trying

00:56:25.140 to do, you know, but, but it's like, I don't know if, I don't know if you hunt at all. If you,

00:56:29.620 if you're into firearms and yeah. Okay. So you understand if we talk a little bit about ballistics,

00:56:35.940 I'm a big 45, 70 guy and that's, that's my caliber of choice. And in really, really tough game.

00:56:43.040 Now this is something that's debated all across and, but it's been my experience and I, and I've

00:56:48.040 taken everything from grizzly to Alaska bull, moose, caribou on down. Got some experience here

00:56:55.520 in game that is really tough, you know, like really tough game like moose or, or grizzly bear,

00:57:03.620 a slower, heavier bullet will actually penetrate deeper, further than a smaller, super fast bullet.

00:57:13.020 And a lot of times we keep hitting that bathtub of water and hurting our hand because we're

00:57:20.540 hitting it so fast and so hard. And if we would just slow down, if we would just slow down and

00:57:27.840 approach what we're trying to approach, but approach it calmly and at a slower pace and

00:57:34.340 methodically, uh, we can penetrate a whole lot better, you know? And so, and that's part

00:57:40.940 of where I've come to is, is just, it's like this channel, this YouTube channel, for example,

00:57:49.060 everybody, when I started, they're like, Dwayne, you got to do this. You know, you've got to edit

00:57:53.060 this. You've got to have loud music and you got to come in here and you got to do that.

00:57:56.680 And you, and I'm like, no, no, that ain't me. I don't think I'm going to do that.

00:58:01.380 And now you, you've watched enough to know that it, everything's pretty calm, pretty laid

00:58:06.720 back. There's not a bunch of music. There's not a bunch of editing. I'm not sitting there

00:58:10.900 yelling at the camera and carrying on. And I approached it just slow and easy and it's

00:58:17.780 just exploded and taken off. So when I slowed down in life and quit approaching everything

00:58:24.080 with rodeo energy, then it's kind of gives life a chance to, to, uh, do what it's supposed to do

00:58:31.220 without me busting that herd up all the time. I like that analogy of the ballistics as well,

00:58:35.820 because you could also consider when you're going against tough game shot placement, right? Very

00:58:40.360 precise, very accurate. You're not going to take a shotgun out there and take a moose. In fact,

00:58:45.080 my son and I, just this last year, we were able to shoot a moose up here in Maine and, you know,

00:58:50.540 you could get into caliber and, you know, should you shoot this or shoot that? And yeah, there's

00:58:56.500 something to be said for that, but a lot of it, if you have a big enough caliber bullet, you know,

00:59:01.200 it's all negligible, but really what it comes down to is, are you precise on your shot placement

00:59:06.140 or are you taking this shotgun approach and hoping, you know, you hit something and it gets zero

00:59:11.700 penetration whatsoever? Right. Right. So yeah. Buck fever, you know, you, you approach a buck fever and

00:59:19.160 you're not calm and slow and, you know, aim, aim small and, uh, and it's perfect analogy. You're

00:59:26.740 right. And it goes back to life. You know, if we approach a buck fever and we're not, we don't have

00:59:32.480 a aim, you know, we don't have a goal. We're not specific. We're not precise. Then yeah, it,

00:59:39.260 it's all, it's all a moot point after that. Yeah. Well, Dwayne, I've appreciated this conversation.

00:59:45.440 And, uh, and I know the guys will as well. And of course I've watched tons of your videos and

00:59:50.400 podcasts. Where can the guys go learn more about what you're doing, whether it's on Instagram or

00:59:55.580 YouTube or wherever you want to direct them. So they know where to go and to get more information

00:59:58.780 from you. We have the YouTube channel, dry Creek Wrangler school. We have a webpage and actual webpage

01:00:05.500 that, uh, talks about the physical school itself, which is dry Creek wranglers.com. And then there is a,

01:00:13.560 the podcast dry Creek wrangler. Oh, and, uh, and then there's so much of this stuff. It's hard

01:00:21.860 for me to keep up with. I'm like a canary drinking from a fire hydrant these days. Uh, and then there,

01:00:27.780 there is, uh, an Instagram and I think that's dry Creek Dwayne. Um, and you, Oh, and I have a rumble

01:00:36.200 for crying out loud. You got it all. Well, yeah, let's see. Rush Limbaugh died. So somebody has got

01:00:41.600 to become the King of all media now. So I figured that's right. That's you. Somebody's got to do it

01:00:46.240 as might as well be you. Might as well. So the rumble is mostly just, you know, the stuff that

01:00:51.120 YouTube won't allow like guns and cigars and pipes and stuff like that. All the good, all the fun stuff,

01:00:55.760 all the good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good. We'll sync it all up. Like I said, I've been following

01:01:00.860 you for some time now and I'm honored that I could be the one to kick off your podcast appearances.

01:01:05.800 I know there's probably going to be plenty more. Uh, and I'm, I'm a big fan. I'm a big supporter.

01:01:12.440 Your message is crucial. So whatever I can do to help you to spread the message, to support you,

01:01:17.820 to get the word out, I'm all about it. I really appreciate you taking some time today.

01:01:21.720 Well, I really appreciate it, man. I'm, I'm honored that you invited me on and let me come down here and

01:01:26.680 flat my gums for a while. And, uh, and so I thank you for it. I do.

01:01:32.380 All right, guys, there you go. My conversation with the one and only Dwayne Noel. I hope you enjoyed

01:01:38.780 the conversation. I, I, I really did. Um, it, it was a special conversation,

01:01:44.380 obviously a lot of practical wisdom, the way that he shares his messages just resonates so deeply

01:01:50.600 with me and millions of other people. So if you haven't been following Dwayne, uh, please make sure

01:01:55.980 you do. He gave you a couple of links to follow social media, YouTube, Instagram, all the places as

01:02:01.040 always take a screenshot, um, pull some audio, pull some video from this episode, make a, make a quick

01:02:07.380 video, post it up on Instagram, or just share your screenshot, tag Dwayne, twag, tag, not twag, tag myself

01:02:13.720 and let guys know what you're listening to. Cause if it serves you, it probably serves them as well.

01:02:20.160 And that's what we are called to do to lift each other up, to serve each other and to help as men

01:02:25.020 where we can. So guys, in addition to that, just make sure you check out the iron council,

01:02:29.480 uh, leave a rating and review, share all this stuff. You have your marching orders and I hope

01:02:34.660 to see you inside the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council. All right, guys,

01:02:39.840 we'll be back tomorrow for our ask me anything until then go out there, take action, become the

01:02:44.820 man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

01:02:50.400 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

01:02:54.960 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 14, 2023

DEWAYNE NOEL ｜ Timeless Wisdom in Disturbing Times

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