Order of Man - October 04, 2024


Do You Have What it Takes to Lead Well? | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

27 minutes

Words per Minute

192.41345

Word Count

5,365

Sentence Count

307

Misogynist Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode of The Order of Man Podcast, Founder Ryan Mickler talks about the importance of emotional intelligence in order to be a better leader and a better man. He also talks about what it means to be an emotionally stable leader.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 where do I fall short when it comes to being emotionally stable for other people? What can
00:00:04.540 I do to improve it? What amends do I need to make with other people that I've been short with?
00:00:09.340 And what specifically can I do today and moving forward to ensure that when things come up in
00:00:14.140 life that are frustrating and challenging for me, I don't lose my cool and turn into a
00:00:18.520 prepubescent little boy, but I maintain my frame as a man and I address what problems need to be
00:00:24.180 addressed and I help other people get through and navigate their own challenges and hardship.
00:00:28.060 That's what we should be doing as men. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest,
00:00:34.320 embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more
00:00:40.060 time. Every time you are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is
00:00:47.120 your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all
00:00:52.820 is said and done, you can call yourself a man. Men, welcome to the Order of Man podcast. I am
00:00:59.860 Ryan Mickler, but more importantly than that, I am the founder of Order of Man. And this movement,
00:01:04.120 this mission is to reclaim and restore masculinity in a society that is continually dismissive of it.
00:01:10.900 We see it at every echelon of leadership, from local leadership to the entertainment world,
00:01:16.180 to political pundits, to politicians attempting to change what it means to be a man and attempting to
00:01:22.500 make us more passive and docile. I can't believe I'm saying this, that the idea of reclaiming,
00:01:29.280 restoring masculinity is more relevant than it was when I started saying this nine, 10 years ago.
00:01:36.000 And I think there's a big, big push to quote unquote, redefine masculinity. And I'm here to tell
00:01:42.380 you that masculinity does not need to be redefined. It needs to be reestablished. We need to go back to
00:01:47.360 our roots of what it means to be bold and courageous and assertive and capable and able to lead well and
00:01:51.840 protect and serve our communities and family members. And it's my mission to do that. On today's
00:01:56.680 podcast, I'm going to talk with you about a very specific element of masculinity, of being a man,
00:02:03.160 and that is leadership. But I'm going to break it down into something that many of us don't ever look
00:02:07.940 at even outside of just that leadership. We hear a lot about how we're supposed to show up as being
00:02:13.340 tenacious and bold and courageous and visionaries. And all of that is absolutely true. But there's also
00:02:18.680 another element that is often overlooked. And that is our ability to have a level of emotional
00:02:24.120 intelligence. Seems like every time I bring up the concept or conversation of emotions, men seem to tap
00:02:30.060 out a little bit. Certainly we resonate with the idea of stoicism. We resonate with the idea of leading
00:02:36.240 well. But when it comes to emotions, that's almost a swear word in a lot of circles. So I'm going to
00:02:41.500 talk with you about that today and leading well, and specifically five key things or factors that go
00:02:47.500 into you being the rock that you need to be for your family and your people. Now, before I get into
00:02:52.740 that, and before I go any further, and speaking of leadership and being the rock, I do want to
00:02:57.600 introduce you to a company that I work very, very closely with. In fact, I just got off the phone with
00:03:02.720 one of their marketing directors. This is Montana Knife Company. They are leading from the front
00:03:07.640 in American manufacturing. Josh Smith is doing wonderful things along with his team
00:03:13.340 in restoring American manufacturing in Montana by building 100% made in American knives. So if you're
00:03:21.360 looking to have a good knife in your arsenal, your tool belt, and you want to support American
00:03:27.980 manufacturing and American workers, then look no further than Montana Knife Company. And one of the
00:03:33.020 things that's good about this, we see these docks being shut down and ports being shut down on the
00:03:38.500 East Coast. They're not impacted by it the way other organizations are because everything here is
00:03:43.620 made in America. So go check them out. MontanaKnifeCompany.com and use the code ORDEROFMAN at checkout.
00:03:50.480 All right, guys, let's talk about this. At first, I was going to call this Emotional Intelligence
00:03:54.360 101. But again, I think we have an aversion as men to the idea of emotions, even just talking about them
00:04:02.820 or discussing them. So rather than call it that, I want to talk about being the rock, the rock that
00:04:08.520 your family and your friends and your colleagues and your co-workers need. And in order to be that
00:04:13.240 stable rock or that beacon or that bedrock, whatever analogy you want to use, it's crucial that we learn
00:04:19.600 how to control and harness our emotions because that to me is probably one of our greatest threats when it
00:04:27.000 comes to leading well. And I'll tell you why. If you cannot regulate and manage your emotions well, you are
00:04:34.080 going to be prone to reacting to certain stimulus and environments and frustrations. And when you do that, when
00:04:40.940 you react, which is more defensive than it is proactive, you tend to be more short. You tend to
00:04:48.840 lose your calm and your cool and your patience. You tend to make bad decisions. And I think one of the
00:04:54.440 greatest factors is you are creating a level of instability with the people that need you to be
00:05:01.800 stable. For example, if you're talking with your children about issues they're dealing with at school
00:05:07.580 or growing up or if they're a little older, marriage and what to do for work and career aspirations,
00:05:12.180 and they want to share things with you, but every time they come to talk with you, it's like you're
00:05:17.080 bipolar. You're a completely different person based on these external circumstances. There's a lot of
00:05:22.760 potential threat in that for them. Same thing with your wife. If you're so emotionally volatile and
00:05:29.140 you're high and low and up and down and all over the place, she's not going to feel comfortable coming to
00:05:34.140 you. Same thing with clients. Same thing with teammates at work. Same thing with your employer.
00:05:39.540 The guy who is calm, cool, and collected at all times, regardless of what's going on around him,
00:05:44.360 is the guy that everybody else is going to look to when things get difficult and challenging.
00:05:49.920 You know, we're on the back of this hurricane that impacted Florida, North Carolina, Georgia,
00:05:55.100 and other parts of the country. And I would go so far to say that there's a lot of men who probably
00:06:01.680 completely lost their cool. And to a degree, it's understandable when you're in a crisis like that.
00:06:07.140 But again, it's the men who stand up, who are convicted, who are bold, who can regulate their
00:06:12.260 emotions, who don't freak out, who don't react. They can see a problem for what it is, and they
00:06:16.680 can make a plan and start dealing with it in a very effective, mature, emotionally relevant way.
00:06:22.220 So I'm going to break down five factors. These are often things that get overlooked as it pertains
00:06:26.080 to leadership, but this will help you be more emotionally intelligent or be that rock for the people that need you.
00:06:31.680 Number one, it requires an element of patience. Too many men that I know are not patient. And guess
00:06:38.540 what? Every time I look in the mirror in the morning, I'm looking at a guy who is not patient.
00:06:43.420 I want things to happen now. I want them to go smoothly. I want the result of whatever I'm trying
00:06:49.760 to accomplish to come as fast as possible. Sometimes, quite frankly, I get irritated and agitated
00:06:55.980 by people who are, in a lot of ways, trying to help, but end up making problems worse. I lose my
00:07:03.500 calm. I lose my cool. And it's really just undermining what I'm supposed to be doing as a
00:07:09.080 man, which is to be patient with other people. So that's the first thing is just learning to be
00:07:14.480 patient. And how do you do this? Well, the first thing that you do is you got to give yourself time.
00:07:19.620 I noticed that when I am the least effective when it comes to communicating my thoughts and
00:07:26.760 ideas effectively and in a way that lands with people is when I'm pressed for time. It's when
00:07:32.820 I have back-to-back-to-back appointments and when I'm freaked out about a deadline or things that need
00:07:37.940 to get done and I have no margin in my life to address things that come up appropriately. And I think
00:07:45.080 you could probably attest to that as well. You know, for example, if I've got so many meetings
00:07:50.720 throughout the day that I can't get all the work done that I want to get done, and then one of my
00:07:54.440 kids comes to me and says, hey, dad, can you take me to football practice? It's at a different time.
00:07:58.880 It's an hour earlier today. Well, those are little minor frustrations. They're inconveniences for sure.
00:08:04.900 But if you allow your day to get away from you and you have no space and margin, if you're like me,
00:08:09.520 that's going to frustrate you. Sure, you'll do it. But in the meantime, you might make a comment or
00:08:14.960 cop an attitude in a way that undermines the relationship that you have with your son.
00:08:21.420 If your wife wants to talk with you about her day, but you're so consumed with yours because
00:08:25.240 you didn't do it as effectively as you could, you can't be patient with her and sit there and
00:08:29.760 actually listen intently to the things that she's trying to share with you. Guys, I'd take a look,
00:08:35.860 a deep look at your schedule and ask, where are you wasting time? Where can you cut out unnecessary
00:08:41.740 meetings? Where can you be a little bit more efficient with the way that you're doing things?
00:08:47.880 I had somebody call me the other day or message me and they said they wanted to set up a meeting
00:08:51.500 before we had another meeting with somebody else. And I messaged him back. I said, I'm not interested
00:08:56.240 in that. We don't have a, we don't need to have a meeting to have another meeting. And that's just
00:09:01.380 a waste of your time. It's a waste of my time. And I said it respectfully, but also I was very clear
00:09:06.780 about it because I know I don't want to spend another hour that isn't needed, needing to be spent
00:09:11.480 on that. So I can focus and prioritize and put it somewhere else more effectively. So work on your
00:09:17.620 patience, have an empathetic heart, be kind, and just step away from a situation. If you notice
00:09:25.180 yourself getting frustrated so that you can be patient with people and also yourself as you screw
00:09:30.320 up, know that it takes time. Number two is awareness. You cannot serve people effectively
00:09:36.840 when it comes to regulating your emotions and theirs, if you're not aware of the things that
00:09:41.760 you're dealing with. What frustrates you? What agitates you? What irritates you? When somebody
00:09:49.260 does something quote unquote wrong, and I'm only using quotations because it might not be wrong,
00:09:53.800 but you're just perceiving it that way. What is it that gets you mad about it? If somebody comes at
00:09:59.220 you in a way that you don't appreciate, you feel disrespected, what story are you telling yourself
00:10:03.540 about the disrespect? What stories are you using to excuse away your own performance? Who are you
00:10:12.260 blaming all of your life's problems on? These are all factors of awareness. And the more that you become
00:10:18.180 aware of the own internal struggles and dilemmas and challenges that you are dealing with, the more
00:10:25.300 capable you are of helping people deal with theirs. I found through my own trials, specifically over the
00:10:30.500 past couple of years, two, three years now, as I learned to afford myself some grace, I also learned
00:10:36.580 how to afford other people grace in their lives. And that's what they need. Again, to go back to your
00:10:42.220 children, asking you to run an errand you don't want to run or having a difficult day and needing to
00:10:46.380 talk with you, or even just doing something dumb they shouldn't have done like all kids and grown
00:10:51.560 adults do. If you can afford them a little more grace through that process, you're going to build
00:10:58.360 the relationship. Now, granted, there's a line, there might need some coaching or advice given,
00:11:03.460 there might need to be some discipline that takes place. But the grace is what allows you to build and
00:11:10.160 mend relationships that you might have been undermining for a year, five years, 10 years, maybe even 40
00:11:17.500 years with, you know, a child or something like that. So really try to be aware. And the way that
00:11:23.180 you're aware of what you're going through is just by asking yourself questions. I alluded to some of
00:11:27.880 them. Why do you feel the way you do? Why are you mad right now? What is the emotion that you're
00:11:32.800 experiencing trying to teach you? I would also really focus on being aware with other people.
00:11:38.800 You should know when one of your people's having an off day. And I can, I can tell the people who are
00:11:43.400 closest in my life. I can tell that they're off because it's a deviation from their normal and
00:11:49.000 typical behavior. And when that takes place, I ask them about it. Now, some guys will get very mad,
00:11:54.740 like, Oh, I asked people, but they don't share it with me. They won't tell me anything. Well,
00:11:58.940 maybe part of the reason they don't feel confident and comfortable sharing with you is because you have
00:12:03.100 been so emotionally volatile that they're afraid of who they're going to receive. Are they going to get
00:12:09.000 the nice, thoughtful, caring, kind, empathetic man that they know and love, or are they going to get
00:12:13.920 the agitated, irritated, frustrated, short, arguing, yelling, screaming kind of man that maybe they've
00:12:21.700 seen too. So if you're trying to mend and repair relationships and you're trying to be the rock
00:12:28.000 that people need you to be, it's going to take some time. I have some close personal friends and
00:12:33.100 clients inside of the iron council who have been working on this for years and they're seeing very
00:12:38.480 little results. And that's understandable. And I try to be nice and appropriate with my wife and
00:12:44.140 kids, but they still won't talk to me and they're still worried about things. It's like, well, you
00:12:48.460 spent the last 10 years undermining everything that you're trying to do now. So stay with it,
00:12:53.480 realize it's going to take some time, have some patience to go back to point number one and be
00:12:58.040 aware not only of what you're dealing with, but how they might be perceiving the risk associated with
00:13:02.980 coming to you. And if you know, and you can be aware of other people's emotions, look, it's not
00:13:08.640 your responsibility to change their emotions or to even manage their emotions. But I would think
00:13:15.020 that you could agree that if we're supposed to lead these people, then we ought to be aware of what
00:13:19.480 they're going through so we can help them navigate their emotions and their challenges as well.
00:13:24.860 Let's go to point number three. I found that the most emotionally intelligent people,
00:13:30.260 those men who can be the bedrock for their families and for their people are the ones who are the most
00:13:35.180 competent. When you're competent, you're also confident. You walk around with a swagger. You
00:13:41.600 don't feel offended by every little thing. You don't feel slighted all the time. You don't feel like the
00:13:46.820 world's out to get you. You don't paint yourself into a victim corner. All of those things are going to
00:13:52.700 create some negativity. And of course, the way that you communicate when you're negative is going to be
00:13:57.500 received that way by other people. But I found that the more competent I am, the less relevant so
00:14:04.040 much other elements of my life become. The more competent I am, for example, with podcasting,
00:14:11.040 the less relevant somebody saying I suck at podcasting is to me. I just know it's not true.
00:14:16.840 Sure, I can sting a little and it can be bothersome, but I don't need to consume myself and get wrapped up
00:14:22.320 with trying to defend who I am as a podcaster or try to convince them that they're wrong. I really
00:14:28.100 don't have much of a worry or a care about that because I know in my heart of hearts that I am a
00:14:33.600 competent man when it comes to certain aspects of my life. And that's what we should all be striving
00:14:39.220 for. So I'd ask you today, how are you working on your competency? And in what areas are you
00:14:45.780 specifically trying to improve? If it's at work, maybe it's communication with clients. Maybe it's
00:14:51.440 learning a software or program a little bit better than you currently know it. Maybe it's having a
00:14:56.820 difficult conversation with your boss or making sure you guys get that assignment done and it gets
00:15:01.220 delivered on time. Or maybe there is some networking you need to learn how to do. And so you buy a course
00:15:06.300 on networking. There are so many different ways to improve your levels of competency that I can't even
00:15:12.280 explain it because I don't know exactly how it's going to fit for you. But what I do know is that
00:15:17.480 when a man is competent, he's confident. And when he's confident, he's less shakable. He becomes
00:15:23.860 unshakable by external circumstances that are bound to happen. All right, let's go to number four,
00:15:30.300 humility. A great leader is humble. Now look, we all have examples of what I would say,
00:15:37.680 quote unquote, leaders who are not this way. They're horrible people. I would say
00:15:42.180 that that's closer to tyranny or dictatorship than it is leadership. Leadership has a positive
00:15:48.280 connotation. And a great leader is humble enough not to allow things to get to him,
00:15:54.480 humble enough to realize that he makes mistakes and he falls short, humble enough to apologize
00:15:59.380 and ask for forgiveness if he does fall short. And I found that a lot of men, and I've fallen into
00:16:05.820 this trap too, a lot of men think that being humble in a way is like an apology, for example,
00:16:13.280 or not knowing how to do something and actually just being honest about it, like I don't know how
00:16:17.300 to do that, is actually going to undermine your authority. I'm here to tell you it's not. It's
00:16:22.820 really not. I've got countless situations, but I remember one in particular when I was doing my
00:16:28.380 financial planning practice and we were going through some different investments. And this was early
00:16:32.820 on in my career, but going through some different investment options. And the client said to me,
00:16:36.400 you know, these are all great options, Ryan. And I really see the value in what you're talking about,
00:16:39.660 but I'm really interested in this type of investment. And it had more to do with trading
00:16:46.700 stocks and picking stocks, which is not something I was comfortable with. And I'm still not comfortable
00:16:51.300 with today for different reasons. And they said, can you help me with that? And in a moment I thought,
00:16:58.860 well, yeah, I should say, yes, I know all about that. I can help you with that. But that wasn't
00:17:03.680 true. And so I decided instead to be humble and also be honest and say, I actually don't know much
00:17:09.920 about that. So we can do one of two things. I can go back and I can learn, or I can bring somebody else
00:17:16.220 to the table, a partner of mine, a friend or a resource, and have them talk with all of us about
00:17:22.840 those options. And that's what they had opted, ended up doing. And this particular advisor ended
00:17:30.080 up doing the business with them. Now it would be easy to be frustrated, right? Well, that guy got
00:17:36.480 the business. I'm the one who brought it to him. I didn't make any money on it. That's all selfish,
00:17:40.940 but that's naturally what we'd think. Well, what I found out later because of their actions is that
00:17:48.080 they then referred me to a half a dozen people for my wheelhouse. Now, if I would have lied to them
00:17:56.360 and sold them some investment product, I didn't know anything about, maybe it would have worked
00:18:01.440 out. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe I get the referrals. Maybe I wouldn't. But the reason I'm telling you
00:18:07.180 this story is because when you're honest with people about your own shortcomings and your own
00:18:12.840 deficiencies and what they might be dealing with, you are going to build trust and credibility.
00:18:21.020 If you do that correctly, if you say, no, I don't know anything about that, but let me continue to
00:18:24.400 help you by introducing you to somebody, then you're going to build that trust. Now they know.
00:18:30.200 It's the same thing with being honest about a person's performance. I know it's very tempting
00:18:35.040 to paint every scenario through this, this lens of the rose colored glasses. I get it. You don't
00:18:43.260 want to give negative or, or, or feedback to people because it might hurt and it's going to hurt.
00:18:49.820 Of course, if you're giving them criticism, it's going to hurt. But I'd argue that if you're in the
00:18:54.860 position to give a person critique on whatever it is they're doing, whether it's personally or
00:18:58.760 professionally, then you being honest about it, but still doing it from an empathetic way,
00:19:04.160 but being honest about their lack, that's a person that can be trusted.
00:19:10.340 Yeah, sure. They're not going to like it, but at least they know they can trust you to be honest
00:19:13.860 with them. And if they can't trust you to be honest and sincere, I really don't know what
00:19:18.780 else is worth having in a relationship. I think that's the foundation of any great relationship is
00:19:24.520 trust. And in order to do that, you need to be honest about how you feel and about how the other
00:19:30.340 person is showing up. The better you do that, the more you build the trust and relationship with
00:19:34.800 other people. And the last point that I want to make, so I've only got five today, but the last
00:19:38.760 point that I want to make when it becomes to, uh, being that foundation, that pillar, that beacon
00:19:43.480 or rock for your family is to be responsive as opposed to reactive. So many people are continually
00:19:52.680 reactive. And I said it earlier, being reactive is being on the defense. And when you're heels,
00:19:58.280 you're on your heels or you're back up against a wall, you're going to fight. You're going to
00:20:04.620 fight against something you don't even need to fight against. Cause sometimes we paint other
00:20:08.640 people or outside scenarios as our enemy. And we back ourselves into a corner and we start fighting
00:20:13.320 when there's actually nothing really to fight. Now, look, there are evil people in the world.
00:20:18.780 There are fights worth having physically, mentally, intellectually, there's fights worth having,
00:20:26.600 but I would argue that more often than not, the fight really isn't there. If you learn to
00:20:31.620 communicate effectively and you stop playing defense about everything because you're lacking
00:20:35.900 competency, it goes back to what we said earlier. And instead you're just so sure-footed, you're so
00:20:42.500 secure with your base of who you are that you don't have to lash out and be upset and yell and hit
00:20:49.840 people and things and do all the things that I've seen so many men do throughout their lives.
00:20:53.940 Some of which I have done, you know, yelling, shouting, berating, belittling. I've punched
00:21:00.560 holes in walls, just very immature boy-like behavior. We can't do that. You have to let
00:21:09.320 that go guys. And the way to do that, by the way, is when you notice your blood is boiling and the
00:21:15.000 temperature is rising and you'll feel it. I feel it. My heart rate beats faster. I feel myself
00:21:21.200 physically like my shoulders and arms, my fist, everything like tenses up physically. That's when
00:21:26.240 I know I'm getting very, very agitated and very, very irritated. If I lash out in that moment,
00:21:32.400 I'm being reactive and I'm undermining what I'm trying to do for people. And that is what
00:21:37.100 leadership is about. It's about serving people, doing for others. When I feel myself in those
00:21:43.340 moments, I exercise some patience. I give myself some margin and I back away from the conversation
00:21:52.300 until a later time. And that time is usually established because what a lot of guys will
00:21:57.840 do is they're avoidant. They have these avoidant mentalities. So they'll back up out of the
00:22:01.620 conversation and never get back into it. You have to get back into it, but you have to do it when your
00:22:07.040 blood is not boiling. And the other thing I would say about that is when you notice yourself getting
00:22:13.500 frustrated, seek to understand what the other person is experiencing because it's likely they're
00:22:19.060 frustrated too. I've had conversations just, just recently where there was some simple
00:22:27.240 misunderstandings. I saw it one way, they saw it the other way. And I said something, I'm trying
00:22:35.120 to be a little, I know I'm not giving you a great example because I'm not giving you the details,
00:22:38.400 but I said something and the other person was like, well, that's not what I meant at all. This
00:22:41.740 is actually what I meant. And then they said what they said, which I misinterpreted. And they said,
00:22:48.140 well, that's not at all what I meant. So both of us were fighting over nothing,
00:22:52.600 fighting over what we thought we heard, fighting over what we interpreted to be something that actually
00:22:58.760 wasn't. So if you notice that blood is boiling, take a breath, get yourself out of the
00:23:04.780 environment. When you come back into the environment and have that discussion, it's done from a calm,
00:23:09.280 cool and collected place. But it also comes from a place of understanding. Hey, help me understand
00:23:15.100 what you meant by that. Now that's not accusatory at all. It's not, well, you said this and I can't
00:23:20.760 believe how you made me feel. No, I don't really understand what you mean by that. Or when I hear
00:23:27.300 that I get frustrated. Can you help me understand what you mean? Or can you elaborate? Give a person
00:23:32.680 the benefit of the doubt. If somebody does something dumb at work, one of your subordinates,
00:23:37.420 your employees does something dumb at work, rather than be pissed off and just immediately fire them
00:23:41.300 or berate them in front of the rest of the workforce, bring that person aside. Hey, you did this.
00:23:49.180 You knew what the task was. You didn't complete it or you didn't complete it to standard.
00:23:53.020 I'm not upset. I'm just trying to figure out where, where we went wrong and give them the benefit of
00:24:00.200 doubt. And I would say this, maybe it was me. Maybe I failed to provide you the instructions
00:24:04.300 that you needed to get this done. Maybe I failed to give you appropriate time to complete the
00:24:08.780 project. Maybe I failed to connect you with people that you needed to be connected with. Maybe I failed
00:24:14.400 because I didn't give you the proper training that you actually needed in order to accomplish
00:24:19.000 the task that I gave you. This is Jocko's extreme ownership, right? I'm not going to take everything
00:24:25.620 on my shoulders. They very easily could have asked me or asked for an extension or asked for a
00:24:30.340 resource, but I can't control that. What I can control is how I show up. And so if that person
00:24:36.400 says, yeah, you know what, Ryan, actually, um, you asked me to do this, but I never got trained on
00:24:42.400 that. Okay. Well, whose fault is that then? Why are you being mad at that person? That's my fault as,
00:24:48.880 as the person who should have offered the training. So I dropped the ball. And what I did,
00:24:53.580 because we react too often is we put it on them and then we dump all this extra baggage on them
00:25:00.900 in addition, cause they're guilty. They feel bad about not hitting the deadline. Most people would.
00:25:07.760 So they're already experiencing some suffering and then you just pour it on by making them feel
00:25:11.720 lower or less than it's not great leadership. It really isn't. And we all know that because we've
00:25:17.080 all been subject to it. And we've also subjected others to it. Guys, we really, really need to focus
00:25:23.320 on being just more calm, more level-headed. Some of the greatest men I know are the ones that you
00:25:30.900 would never think a thing about. They're so unassuming. They almost appear passive in a way
00:25:36.740 and they're not, they're not. That's something different. But, but on the first glance, they
00:25:40.300 almost seem as if they're passive and it's not passivity. It's confidence. It's emotional maturity.
00:25:47.900 They realize that they need to be the rock for their family or their friends or their
00:25:52.720 colleagues, coworkers, et cetera, neighbors, community members, et cetera. And in order to
00:25:57.360 be that, they have to be stable and bold and courageous and competent and aware and patient
00:26:01.300 and all the other things that we talked about today. So my challenge to you over the weekend
00:26:05.960 is ask yourself, and I would get out a journal or a notepad and just ask yourself, where do I fall
00:26:11.340 short when it comes to being emotionally stable for other people? What can I do to improve it?
00:26:18.660 What, what amends do I need to make with other people that I've been short with? And what
00:26:23.000 specifically can I do today and moving forward to ensure that when things come up in life that
00:26:27.780 are frustrating and challenging for me, I don't lose my cool and turn into a prepubescent
00:26:32.840 little boy, but I maintain my frame as a man and I address what problems need to be addressed
00:26:39.360 and I help other people get through and navigate their own challenges and hardship.
00:26:43.380 That's what we should be doing as men. And that's how we established ourselves as leaders,
00:26:47.980 in addition to other virtues that we have talked about in the past, but not today.
00:26:52.440 I wanted to give you a different spin on it. So I hope that helps men. Remember,
00:26:56.520 we've got our partners over at Montana Knife Company doing great things, leading well
00:26:59.820 and building American manufacturing back from the ground up. In fact, I think they're breaking ground
00:27:04.360 fairly soon on a brand new building in Montana. They had just built a building and now they're
00:27:10.040 building another one because they need it even bigger. So it's pretty incredible to see the work
00:27:13.640 they're doing over there and you're a big part to play in that. Also go check out our website,
00:27:18.280 orderofman.com. I say that because just this week we dropped and released our newest website.
00:27:24.360 It looks really good. It's easy to navigate and I would love for you to check it out and give your
00:27:28.020 feedback on it. All right, guys, those are your marching orders. We will be back on Tuesday of next
00:27:32.820 week. Until then, go out there, take action, lead well, and become the man you are meant to be.
00:27:42.820 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:27:47.420 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.