Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.300 Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order

00:00:31.580 of Man. I want to welcome you back. If you've been listening for any amount of time, I want

00:00:35.940 to welcome you here for the first time, if this is your first time tuning in. And if it

00:00:39.820 is, this is a podcast geared towards giving you the tools and the conversations, the resources,

00:00:46.040 the guidance, the direction, whatever you need to step up and be more capable as a father,

00:00:50.960 a husband, a business owner, a community leader, a man in general. And that's exactly what I'm

00:00:55.460 going to talk with you about today, because I see a disturbing trend in quite a few men 0.99

00:00:59.740 that I talk with via email or text or direct message on social media, wherever it is, these

00:01:05.240 guys are connecting with me. And I'm going to get into that in just a minute. I do want

00:01:08.600 to make a very, very quick announcement. My friends and show sponsors Origin Maine, you've

00:01:13.240 been hearing me talk about these guys for months. And the reason that I talk about these guys

00:01:18.540 is because not only are they friends and I'm familiar with everything that they're doing,

00:01:23.360 their products are incredible. If you're into jujitsu, they've got geese and rash guards. In

00:01:28.660 fact, I think they are just releasing a new American rash guard. That's pretty cool.

00:01:33.680 Saw it the other day as Pete was, uh, was kicking my butt on the mats. Uh, they also do their

00:01:39.480 supplemental lineup with Jocko. It's the mulk, which is their protein, the discipline, which

00:01:43.760 is their pre-workout. And then I use quite a bit of their super krill, which is good for

00:01:48.480 the heart. It's good for the brain. It's your, uh, Omega fatty acids. And then also

00:01:53.180 their, uh, joint warfare, which is good for managing inflammation and rebuilding some of

00:01:59.580 the cartilage and things like that in your body and strengthening that up. So check it

00:02:02.960 out, check it out at origin, Maine, as in the state, Maine origin, Maine.com and use the

00:02:07.940 code order R D let me try that again. O R D E R at checkout again, origin, Maine.com order

00:02:15.740 or R D E R at checkout. All right, guys, let's get into the meat of the discussion

00:02:19.680 today. Uh, I want to talk with you about, well, the topic, what I titled this is don't

00:02:24.260 be your wife's child. And the reason that I wanted to address this today is because I 0.72

00:02:29.060 see a lot of men who are in relationships with their significant other who are acting

00:02:35.500 as if they're their wife's child. And it's disturbing to say the least it's pathetic. Uh,

00:02:42.620 and I don't believe that it's conducive to a healthy, intimate relationship between a

00:02:48.700 husband and a wife. And I don't know if it's because these guys don't recognize they're

00:02:52.720 behaving this way more like a child, a boy than they are a man, or if it's because they've

00:02:58.440 been conditioned to behave this way. Maybe they grew up without a father figure in their

00:03:01.680 life and there wasn't a real masculine presence. So they don't quite know how to act like a man

00:03:06.040 around women. Uh, or maybe they think it's cute and, and that it's actually going to, 0.99

00:03:12.600 uh, again, be conducive to some type of relationship that, that a wife would want. Uh, it's, that's 0.84

00:03:19.380 not the case at all. In fact, I think it actually harms a relationship and it drives a wedge between

00:03:24.400 you and, and your partner. So I'm going to talk with you today about why it's so important

00:03:31.220 that we behave like men. Some of these things that I'm going to share with you today might seem

00:03:35.220 a little counterintuitive. Uh, and I'm going to break down five steps and five strategies that

00:03:39.600 you can use to ensure that you are being a husband, that you are leading inside the walls

00:03:44.860 of your home as a husband, not behaving like a little boy, but let's break these down. Uh,

00:03:50.600 before we get into the steps, uh, I just think that there's, and this is only going to get worse.

00:03:56.260 There's just this, this, this trend. And it's really upsetting to see of men, boys, I should say,

00:04:03.200 and, and girls growing up without this male father figure in their life. And sometimes

00:04:07.580 I feel like I'm beating a dead horse when I talk about this, uh, but it is only going

00:04:12.680 to get worse. And I think because more and more boys are not being surrounded by these

00:04:18.500 masculine presences that it's going to be difficult for these boys as they become men

00:04:23.460 and step out into the workforce and get married and start families to actually behave the way

00:04:28.780 that they're supposed to. In addition to that, these guys who believe that maybe it's cute to,

00:04:33.560 to be dependent on, or to make a woman feel like she's needed, this is not going to work.

00:04:40.980 I'm telling you, it's not going to work. Women might feel flattered and excited about all the 1.00

00:04:46.360 attention and the, the desire to be needed for a very, very short period of time. But when she

00:04:52.160 realizes that she can't get a mature discussion or a mature approach to life out of her husband,

00:04:58.360 she's going to be gone. And as much as I don't want to cast blame, I really got to say that guys,

00:05:06.220 we got to take a good, hard look at ourselves and how we're behaving and how we're showing up.

00:05:11.660 Now I will throw this disclaimer out there because I do talk quite a bit about this. And I talked about

00:05:16.100 it last week with these movements that you see sprouting up, uh, with regards to men,

00:05:22.640 ostracizing other individuals and even removing themselves completely from relationships with the

00:05:30.120 opposite sex. Uh, Meg Tao, I believe is starting to go down that path. I think there's some noble 0.99

00:05:35.080 intentions there, but I think it's a breeding ground for some of these men who take it out of context

00:05:41.300 and start to believe that we are to operate individually of everybody else and, and, and not be

00:05:46.560 part of society or a relationship or whatever it may be. Uh, and then on the opposite, the far end

00:05:52.360 of the extreme and the spectrum, you have these incels, involuntary celibates. These are the guys

00:05:57.340 who believe that they're, they're victims of society and they're victims of women. And rather than

00:06:01.900 learning to take some measure of responsibility in their lives, decided that everybody is doing things

00:06:06.740 to them. And if women wouldn't do things to them or society wouldn't do things to them, 1.00

00:06:11.560 then everything would be perfect. And of course we know that these are guys who are unwilling

00:06:15.660 to take responsibility for themselves and frankly behave more like boys than they do men. So as I

00:06:23.240 share with you, these five strategies to ensure that you are being the kind of, of male presence

00:06:28.600 that your wife and your family needs, please don't misunderstand me and think that I'm talking

00:06:33.820 about you going your own way or, or you doing things in spite of her or without her, not permission,

00:06:42.120 but without her understanding or knowledge, that's not what I'm saying. I want to throw this

00:06:45.580 disclaimer out there because as I talk about some of these things, it may seem like that. It may

00:06:49.600 sound like that. And throughout this conversation, I'm going to try to give you some context so that

00:06:54.340 you understand hopefully that it's not about going your own way. It's about being a better husband,

00:07:00.420 being a more capable father, and frankly, stepping into the man that you want to become. I don't think

00:07:05.240 you'd be listening to this podcast if that weren't the case. So let's break this down. Again, this is

00:07:09.940 about not becoming your wife's child. So the first one, and I talk about this at length quite a bit,

00:07:15.800 probably in every podcast I talk about this. So you're going to get sick of hearing me say it,

00:07:19.560 but the reason I bring it up so much is because so many men seem like they can't do this effectively.

00:07:24.740 And it's very simply established boundaries. Guys, you have to establish boundaries. There has to be

00:07:30.960 some limits that are clearly communicated and expected between you and your wife. And if those

00:07:38.580 boundaries are not there and she's crossing into your space, physical or mental space,

00:07:43.620 you're crossing into her physical, mental, or emotional space, then of course there's going

00:07:47.680 to be problems. And yet we don't establish these boundaries because we want to play the nice guy.

00:07:53.460 And this is part of the problem with the nice guy syndrome, which is not really going to help.

00:08:02.700 Although I think a lot of guys think that it is. If I just be nice, then everything will be great.

00:08:07.760 Well, women aren't looking for nice guys. They aren't looking for nice guys. And that's why 1.00

00:08:11.980 we see a lot of these women who are attracted to the quote unquote bad boy is because they're 0.63

00:08:17.060 rejecting the good little boy that toes the line and does everything that he's told. So I'm not

00:08:22.760 telling you that you need to be rebellious for the sake of being rebellious. I'm telling you that you

00:08:27.720 need to clearly establish boundaries, communicate those boundaries effectively, and then uphold those

00:08:35.060 boundaries. So what might some of these look like? Well, they might be verbal boundaries or

00:08:40.240 communication boundaries, the way in which your wife and you will communicate with each other.

00:08:43.880 I know that I've had conversations with my wife who I have a great, intimate, loving relationship with

00:08:50.680 where we may get into a debate or a discussion or potentially even an argument. And I frankly had to

00:08:56.720 come out and say, I will not allow you to speak to me like that. And you know what? She said the same

00:09:01.520 thing. And because I put my foot down, I'm clear about it. And on her side, she puts her foot down

00:09:07.180 and she's clear about it. We know exactly what those boundaries are. What's the old adage? High

00:09:13.000 fences make great neighbors. And I'm not saying you need to put up a wall or a fence between you and

00:09:17.940 your wife, but that's the point of boundaries so that people know what is expected, what you tolerate, 0.99

00:09:23.940 what you will not tolerate. And as soon as those things are laid out, then you can make decisions about

00:09:29.460 how your relationship is going to go forward. Other boundaries that I have in place. I happen

00:09:34.160 to work at home, which is a great blessing in my family's lives, but it's also a challenge in that

00:09:41.260 my wife can come up here while I'm working. My kids can bounce around and they can run around in the 0.86

00:09:44.840 halls. They can come into my office. I have to clearly articulate and establish these boundaries

00:09:50.260 so they don't do that. And they understand that I'm working. So I communicate these things with

00:09:55.320 them. Hey, when the, when the door is closed to my office, that means I'm working. If you hear me

00:09:59.560 on a podcast or talking in here, that means it needs to be quiet outside. When my wife might ask

00:10:05.440 me, for example, uh, to do a chore to take out the trash or some other item around the household,

00:10:12.480 if it's during the working day, she knows that I'm not going to do it because I've told her upfront,

00:10:17.460 I'm not going to do it. And when she's asked me in the past, I say, no, no, I will not take out

00:10:22.760 the trash right now. But if that's what you need done, I will happily do that this evening or

00:10:27.460 tomorrow morning before or after my working hours. So again, for the, the quote unquote,

00:10:33.000 recovering nice guy, he might hear this and think, well, Ryan, you're just being a jerk.

00:10:37.500 What's the big deal with taking out the trash guys. It's not about taking out the trash that will

00:10:42.900 literally take me 60 seconds. It's not a big deal when it comes to the time vested in being able to do

00:10:49.720 that chore. It's the principle of the thing. It's the standard and the expectation that I have set.

00:10:55.060 And because I have clear expectations and clear boundaries around how we communicate with each

00:11:00.160 other, what I will do and won't do during working hours and so many other facets, uh, it it's,

00:11:06.120 there's no guesswork. And that's the beauty because when people are left to guess, they're going to start

00:11:10.820 filling in the blanks. She's going to start making assumptions. And more often than not, when people

00:11:15.920 are guessing and making its assumptions, it typically goes down a path, a negative path that

00:11:21.620 it's not. She jumps to the conclusion that I am a jerk, or maybe, you know, I'm, I'm trying to

00:11:28.580 withhold information from her, or maybe she believes I'm stepping out on her because I'm not engaged the

00:11:34.380 way I should be. No, that's not it at all. We communicate that upfront. We have those expectations

00:11:38.640 and those great fences make great neighbors in a way. All right. So that's number one,

00:11:44.060 establish those boundaries. Number two, stop asking for permission for things. I made this

00:11:49.680 comment or this post on Instagram several weeks ago. And I think a lot of people misunderstood me

00:11:54.980 because what they believe when I said, stop asking permission is they thought that I was just giving

00:11:58.780 them a ticket to do whatever the hell they wanted to do. And that's not at all what I'm saying.

00:12:03.300 I'm not saying that you're going to go out and do whatever you want to do. And you're not going to

00:12:06.340 include her in the decision-making process or informing her about what's going on. But I'm saying,

00:12:11.420 stop asking for permission, be bold, be assertive, let her know what you're going to be doing. Of

00:12:18.140 course, get her input and her insight and direction. But if you go to your wife, every time you want to

00:12:23.560 do something and you say, please, hon, can I do this? I'd really like to do this. You're, what you're

00:12:27.560 doing is you're stripping away all of your masculine authority and credibility, and you're behaving more

00:12:34.040 like her child than you are her husband. I don't ask my wife for permission to do things. I inform her

00:12:39.920 of things that I think are going to be good for me and the family. We consult, we make decisions

00:12:45.820 together. But at the end of the day, I make those decisions. I don't ask for permission. And there

00:12:51.920 was a time in our marriage where I would, and I would run around asking her to do things, even trivial

00:12:56.880 things. Every single time that one of those things came up, I would be asking her if I could do those

00:13:03.360 things. That's exhausting. Those of you who have kids, you, you know, if your child comes up to you and

00:13:09.420 ask every time my two youngest, for example, their one is, uh, just getting over being potty

00:13:16.460 trained and occasionally he'll come to me and he'll say, dad, can I go to the bathroom? It's

00:13:20.240 like, dude, you don't have to ask me to go to the bathroom. Just go do it. Or my daughter will ask, 1.00

00:13:24.520 dad, can I play? It's like, you don't have to ask permission for that. But that's what we as men

00:13:28.960 sometimes do with our wives. We ask over and over and over again. And she's like, good hell, 1.00

00:13:33.860 just make a decision, be a man and go do your thing. So again, there, this is a spectrum. All right.

00:13:39.400 On one end, you have the guy who takes nothing into consideration with regards to his wife's

00:13:44.260 feelings and thoughts and decisions. And then on the other end, you have the guy who's asking her

00:13:50.040 for every little thing and every turn, and it becomes annoying and exhausting. Find that middle

00:13:56.200 ground, be assertive, be bold, include her in the decision-making process. But ultimately you're not

00:14:01.060 asking for permission. You're informing. So you can both make decisions together. That's number two.

00:14:05.800 Number three, guys, please do not throw temper tantrums. All right. I know that sounds funny,

00:14:11.680 but I can't tell you how often I hear from men who have said things like,

00:14:16.100 Ryan, I blew up with my wife and I lost my cool, or I let my emotions get the better of me.

00:14:23.280 That's boy-like behavior. And I'm not saying I'm above it. All right. I do it occasionally from now

00:14:28.500 and then as well as you do. Okay. This is not something I'm above, but it's something I'm conscious of

00:14:34.220 that men aren't absent of emotions, but that we understand how to control our emotions. And when

00:14:40.480 we lose our cool and we get frustrated and we yell or we throw things or heaven forbid, we decide to

00:14:46.400 hit or become physical. That's a problem. That's a problem. And you're, you're using your emotions

00:14:53.780 ineffectively. You're allowing them to get the better of you. Instead, learn why you're upset.

00:15:00.100 Why do things bother you? Why are you freaking out? Why is this such a big deal? And it might come

00:15:04.800 down to one of the two things I already mentioned that somebody crossed a boundary that you failed

00:15:10.060 to uphold. And so you got upset because they crossed the boundary that you yourself couldn't

00:15:14.640 uphold, or she didn't give you the quote unquote permission that you asked for. These are things

00:15:20.880 that are going to trigger potentially some temper tantrums if you aren't mature in the way that you

00:15:25.340 handle yourself. So if I notice myself welling up with anger or frustration, or there's some

00:15:32.400 contention, I quite literally disengage from the situation as best I can. It might be a ride. It

00:15:39.340 might go, might be going to shoot some arrows in the backyard or going to train, physically train or to

00:15:46.360 do some jujitsu. But I have these outlets in place so that I can begin to separate myself from the

00:15:54.380 thing that's driving that emotion and then start thinking about it a little bit more logically so

00:15:59.360 that I can come back into the relationship with a mature approach. So for example, if I'm upset about

00:16:06.200 something my wife said or did, maybe she tried to cross a boundary and that upset upset me. Now I come

00:16:11.900 back into the relationship and I can very simply tell her, Hey hon, you know what, what you said earlier,

00:16:17.640 I really didn't appreciate. And I don't appreciate being talked to like that. Here's why that bothers

00:16:24.340 me. Here's how it upsets me. And here's the expectation that I have moving forward, which is

00:16:29.100 that you won't talk to me like that. And instead you'll talk to me like fill in the blank. You can

00:16:33.880 decide that for yourself. But again, temper tantrums guys, they aren't going to get you anywhere.

00:16:39.020 All right. Number one, they're not going to work. You're not going to get what you want. And number two,

00:16:42.880 and I think this is more important is that you literally undermine everything that you're trying

00:16:48.780 to create. You're, you're cutting out the foundation out from underneath you. And now you're

00:16:54.920 operating as the patriarch. Like I talked about in last week's Friday field notes, uh, on shaky

00:17:00.760 ground on sand. Even we want a sure, solid footing. And in order to maintain that sure, solid footing

00:17:07.940 of the way that the patriarch stands and what he stands on, you can't be emotional.

00:17:12.880 Can't be running around crying about things. You can't be running around, uh, talking bad

00:17:17.620 about her. You can't be running around, uh, acting like a little child and, and, and yelling

00:17:22.860 and shouting or throwing or potentially even hitting, but control those emotions, use them

00:17:28.780 for productive outcomes. Don't let them control you next make decisions. All right. That's

00:17:36.320 it. Make decisions. That's what men do. Men are decisive. They make decisions.

00:17:42.880 They act upon those decisions. So when your wife comes to you and says, Hey, hon, I know

00:17:47.720 we're going out this weekend. Where would you like to go? Don't say, Oh, I don't know.

00:17:52.860 Where would you like to go? Just be bold. Just be assertive and say, I would like to go

00:17:58.640 to Morton's or whatever, wherever you're going to go. This is where I'd like to go. Now, if

00:18:04.660 she has a problem with that, then she can inform you that that's the problem. And that comes

00:18:08.140 back to establishing boundaries and communication. But again, just make decisions. Where are

00:18:13.380 we going to go? What time are we going to leave? What should we bring? What are we going

00:18:15.900 to do this weekend? What are you going to do for your career? There's these trivial things

00:18:19.180 and there's these more important matters, but the more that you learn to make decisions.

00:18:23.560 And by the way, guys, this is a skill. I realized that if you're not accustomed to making decisions,

00:18:29.480 it may be very hard for you to, when she asked, where would you like to go to dinner for

00:18:33.940 you to say very surely that you have a place picked out? I realized that's going to be a

00:18:39.820 challenge for some of you. It sounds silly to some of you who think, well, I'm great at

00:18:43.800 making decisions, but I'm telling you, there's guys out there who really, really struggle with

00:18:47.480 this. And it might be you. And if it is you, the best way to overcome your inability to make

00:18:53.640 decisions is you guessed it, make decisions. So when people ask for your opinion or ask what

00:19:01.420 you would like to do, then it is now your task and your challenge from me to answer that

00:19:06.420 clearly, succinctly, and make that decision. And then the last thing I wanted to share with

00:19:12.300 you guys, as far as ensuring that you're not behaving as your wife's child is very simply

00:19:18.320 to cast vision and to make plans and to act. So it's a three part one there. Cast vision,

00:19:25.360 make plans, act accordingly. Guys, leaders have a vision. They have a direction. They know where they

00:19:34.160 want to go. I look at my boys. They don't have that yet, right? They're young. They're, they're

00:19:38.400 immature in a lot of ways. And they've got a thousand thoughts a second running around in

00:19:41.980 their minds and they get distracted by the bright, shiny object. And it's kind of like that, uh, that

00:19:46.720 movie up it's a cartoon. If you're a father, you know what it is, uh, where that, I think it's the

00:19:51.820 dog. He gets distracted by the squirrel, right? Squirrel. Like he's in, he's involved in something,

00:19:56.240 uh, focused. And then a squirrel runs by and he squirrel and he focuses attention on somewhere

00:20:00.720 else. This is what boys do, but men don't do that. They maintain a clear focus. They have vision for

00:20:07.800 the future. They know what they want to accomplish. They know in what direction they want to travel.

00:20:12.600 And although they may not be there yet or super efficient at it, at least they're starting to cast

00:20:17.020 some vision. And your job as a man is to be able to communicate that effectively to your wife,

00:20:21.560 what is your vision for your career? What is your vision for the family? What is your vision for the

00:20:26.860 way this relationship is going to work out with where I am in my relationship and where I am

00:20:31.640 personally and entrepreneurially? Uh, I'm pretty happy with where I am, but I casted this vision

00:20:36.840 to my wife and she shared her visions as well. And because we have these open lines of communication,

00:20:41.720 it's very easy for us to get on the same page. And we're not always on the same page, but we can get

00:20:47.700 on the same page. When I cast vision, that's not enough. It's not enough to daydream. It's not

00:20:53.000 enough to be up in the clouds and la la land thinking about all the wonderful things that

00:20:56.160 could be your next step is to make plans. What is your plan for turning that vision or that dream

00:21:01.760 into a reality? If you use our 12 week battle planner, which you can find in the store or in

00:21:06.520 my book sovereignty, or if you use other, some other planning software or program, I don't care what

00:21:11.380 it is. I just want you to start articulating some plans to turn that vision into a reality.

00:21:16.740 So once you've casted the vision and you and your wife have talked about this, now it's your job to

00:21:21.560 start thinking about how you can make this work. What needs to be aligned? What resources do you need?

00:21:28.080 What shortcomings need to be addressed? What could potentially get in the way of you creating the

00:21:34.160 life that you're after, but making these solid plans that you're adjusting and you're tweaking and

00:21:39.580 you're refining and honing along the way is going to separate you from being a little child to being

00:21:44.880 the man that she wants you to be. And I know she wants you to be this because not only do I get

00:21:50.000 messages from men, I get messages from women as well. Some women are grateful for what we've created

00:21:55.500 here because they see an assertive change in their husband and others are asking how they can get their

00:22:00.820 husbands to be more assertive, to be more like men than little boys, the topic of this conversation

00:22:07.200 today. And I think if you learn to make plans and communicate those plans and take her thoughts

00:22:12.740 and her dreams and her visions and goals and aspirations into consideration, and then start

00:22:17.720 formulating a way to make that happen, she's going to start to believe in you, but only, only if you

00:22:24.220 implement the third step. And the third step is to act, act accordingly. All right, you have the vision,

00:22:30.880 you know what you guys want. You started to make the plans for the future, but if it stops there,

00:22:36.020 she's going to stop believing in you. She's going to believe you're a dreamer and dream is great,

00:22:42.300 but, but you gotta, you gotta act. You gotta take it into consideration and figure out how you're

00:22:48.260 going to implement these things. So if you're not a man of action, become a man of action. And again,

00:22:53.880 guys will ask, well, how do you do that? Guys, it's simple. You act. How do you establish boundaries?

00:22:58.800 You establish boundaries. How do you make sure people don't step over those boundaries? You warn them

00:23:03.100 when they do and cut them off when they go over those lines. How do you not ask for permission?

00:23:09.060 You stop asking for permission. How do you make better decisions? You start making decisions. Like

00:23:13.560 the answer is quite literally in the question itself. So guys, cast your vision, make your plans,

00:23:21.340 and then act accordingly. And this is a cycle, maybe not even a cycle. These are things that you should be

00:23:26.720 doing all the time. And I think at the root of what we're talking about here today, if I was to sum

00:23:33.320 this all up into a pretty package with a little bow on it, I would say communication, communication.

00:23:39.720 Very often I'm asked, what's one skill that you think would benefit everybody more if they were to

00:23:46.380 implement, you know, questions like that. And my answer is communication. You're dealing with another

00:23:52.040 human being, all of her dreams and her ideas and her aspirations and her shortcomings and her own

00:23:58.480 character flaws, just like you and I have. And because you're dealing with another human being,

00:24:03.580 it's critical that you learn to communicate effectively that when you're establishing

00:24:07.200 boundaries, you can't withhold them or have these covert contracts that people aren't aware of.

00:24:12.080 When we're talking about not asking for permission, I'm not telling you to shut down. I'm telling her that

00:24:16.680 you're going to start informing her of what you're going to be doing and taking her thoughts into

00:24:20.460 consideration. When I'm talking about not throwing temper tantrums, I'm talking about opening up and

00:24:26.660 sharing what's on your mind and what your perspective is rather than closing down or getting

00:24:31.080 emotional over it because you're not getting your way. Making decisions, casting vision, making plans,

00:24:36.860 acting accordingly, all require a level of assertive communication. But I didn't want to just say

00:24:42.760 assertive communication. I wanted to give you a framework for how to make this work better.

00:24:47.040 So as I part today, maybe what I'll share with you, and perhaps I should have shared this in the

00:24:51.860 beginning, I want to give you maybe some ideas or some warning signs that you are acting more like

00:24:56.340 a child than the man that she wants you to be and the man you're capable of becoming. I think very

00:25:01.900 simply, one red flag might be that you have lost an element of trust with her, that she's not asking

00:25:08.380 for your input or direction or insight, or that when you say things, your words carry no weight to her.

00:25:14.380 If you're running into that, it might be because you're lacking in one or more of the areas that I

00:25:19.020 just shared with you today. If you notice that she's undermining your authority or she's doing 0.66

00:25:25.100 things behind your back or not informing you of all the things that she has going on in her life,

00:25:30.960 you might be falling short in some of these areas. I know it's a challenge. I know it can't be summed up

00:25:36.260 in a 25 minute podcast, but guys, it's critical that we learn how to be the men that we're capable of

00:25:41.340 becoming. And by the way, this doesn't only apply to your wife. This applies to your clients. This

00:25:48.020 applies to employees and friends and family members, other family members. This applies to

00:25:54.480 your children, everybody that you're going to interact with on a daily basis. It's critical

00:25:58.720 that you establish these five strategies to help you improve who you are as a man and that you're

00:26:04.440 behaving and acting and communicating effectively as that man. Again, let me recap and then we'll call it

00:26:10.400 a day. Number one, establish your boundaries. Number two, stop asking for permission. Number

00:26:15.320 three, do not throw temper tantrums. Number four, make decisions. Number five, cast vision,

00:26:21.700 make plans, act accordingly. So guys, I hope that helps. I hope that serves you in some way.

00:26:26.980 If it does, great. Please let me know. Share with me on Instagram or Twitter, both at Ryan Michler.

00:26:32.740 And also do this, share this with one other man in your life, father, friend, colleague,

00:26:38.360 coworker, whoever it may be, one other man in your life and leave us a rating and review.

00:26:43.440 All right. You've got two things to do. Share this with another man, leave us a rating and review.

00:26:48.660 That's all I ask. All right, guys, that's all I've got for you today. We'll be back on Tuesday. Got a

00:26:52.920 great, great podcast lined out for you. Easy for me to say, but I think you're really, really going to

00:26:57.420 enjoy this. So if you're not subscribed, get subscribed. All right, guys, until next week,

00:27:02.500 go out there, take action, be a man, not your wife's child, and become a man you are meant to be.

00:27:08.040 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:27:12.560 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:27:18.080 We'll be right back.

Don't Be Your Wife's Child ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Order of Man

Don&#x27;t Be Your Wife&#x27;s Child ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Don't Be Your Wife's Child ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES