Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, welcome to the Order of Man podcast. Glad you're here.

00:00:28.000 Glad you're back tuning in. I want to talk with you today about settling. So many of us as men

00:00:34.880 often settle in our lives. Sometimes we don't think we're worthy of having more. Sometimes we're

00:00:40.960 resting on our laurels or writing other people's coattails because we get lazy. But there's all

00:00:46.800 sorts of reasons why we might settle in our lives. And what ends up happening is we feel frustrated,

00:00:53.240 to say the least. We become anxious. We become frustrated. We become irritable.

00:00:58.000 Because inside, we know that we're capable of so much more. And yet our performance is not

00:01:05.260 matching the thought. There's the gap between what we know we ought to be doing and the way

00:01:10.780 that we're actually showing up. It's very easy to do. It's very easy to get sidetracked. And today,

00:01:15.820 I want to share with you five mindsets that have helped me as I incorporate these mindsets into my

00:01:21.420 life to ensure that I'm not settling for mediocrity, to ensure that I'm not settling for less than I'm

00:01:27.800 capable of, and that I'm always showing up fully for myself, for my family, for my loved ones, for my

00:01:33.940 clients, and for people who are relying upon me to show up in a very powerful way. Now, that's not to

00:01:39.280 say that I have never fallen short or never not settled. I certainly have settled in times in my life.

00:01:46.760 And it produces less than favorable, to put it mildly, results, and sometimes disastrous results.

00:01:53.780 So let's just jump right into this today. There's five mindsets here. Number one is, I think it's

00:01:59.500 important that we know that we are worth so much more than we think we are. I talk with men every

00:02:06.160 single day. And one of the reoccurring themes that I hear from these guys is they don't believe that

00:02:11.260 they're worthy of having something great. They don't believe that they're worthy of doing something

00:02:16.640 incredible, like starting a business or having a thriving marriage or having a deeply committed

00:02:21.840 relationship with their children or having the six pack abs or going on vacations or becoming

00:02:27.620 independently wealthy. Guys, if you don't believe that about yourself, then you're not going to do

00:02:34.580 the work required to get there because you know it's futile. Regardless of how hard you work, nothing

00:02:40.160 is going to work for you. You know, you talk with guys who say, oh man, this guy and that guy,

00:02:45.140 they're so lucky. If I had that, then no, it's not luck. It's hard work. Those individuals who have

00:02:51.660 success in their life, especially if it's a long-term consistent replicatable are not getting

00:02:57.340 lucky. They're doing something that other men aren't in order to produce those results. 1.00

00:03:02.980 There's an inherent danger in believing that somebody has success because they got lucky.

00:03:09.040 And the danger is this. If you believe that success is the result of luck and nothing more than all

00:03:16.960 you can do in your life to have success is to get lucky. And what do we do? We sit back and we wait

00:03:23.720 and we hope and we complain about what's not working well, hoping that one day we'll hit gold.

00:03:30.520 One day your ship will come in. Guys, it doesn't work like that. But in order to produce those big

00:03:36.660 results, you have to do big things. And in order to do big things, you have to believe

00:03:40.740 that you're worthy of it and that you're capable of it. Guys, you are here on this planet to do

00:03:47.000 something wonderful. You have a set of experiences and beliefs and failures and victories and skill

00:03:54.420 sets that are making you uniquely qualified to offer more value in the world. You are valuable.

00:04:00.820 You're inherently valuable. And that's not to say that just because you are a valuable being,

00:04:06.400 that you're going to achieve the success that you want. You have to put forth the work,

00:04:10.080 but it always starts with believing that you're worth it. Guys, you're, you're worth fighting for

00:04:17.760 in a relationship. You're worth having at an organization because you can add value to the

00:04:24.200 organization and to the clients that you serve. You're worth your weight in gold, if not more to

00:04:30.260 your children who are relying on you to show up in a powerful way. When you believe that,

00:04:34.740 and you think about that and you internalize, and that becomes part of your DNA, you are more likely

00:04:40.200 to do the work required to achieve the inevitable results that you desire. Number one, believe that

00:04:45.660 you are worthy. Number two, know that nobody owes you anything just because you are worthy of something

00:04:52.620 great. Just because you are capable of so much more than you might even believe yourself to be

00:04:57.220 doesn't mean that others are going to bend over backwards to make it happen.

00:05:00.540 It's on you. And look, I don't want to get calloused because I think this thought can be taken to the

00:05:05.620 extreme that there's nobody who wants to help you. Nobody who can do it as good as you. You hear guys,

00:05:10.840 you say, if you want it done, you have to do it yourself. Not necessarily. There's, there's incredible

00:05:17.140 people in my life who are part of this movement, for example, that facilitate different parts of the

00:05:23.640 movement that we have here and the operations behind what we're doing. They do it significantly better

00:05:28.060 than I can. So I'm not saying that there aren't going to be people in your life, like your wife

00:05:32.880 or your children or your coworkers or employees or neighbors or clergy members or people in your

00:05:39.720 church congregation who are going to be there to serve you. They are. But at the end of the day,

00:05:44.200 your success is your responsibility. Nobody's going to bend over backwards to help you accomplish

00:05:51.880 what it is you want to accomplish, especially if you're not willing to communicate and share it.

00:05:56.340 And if they care more about your success than you do, you've got a problem, right? We've all worked

00:06:04.620 with somebody who said they wanted help. And then we go to help them. We realize they don't want help.

00:06:08.440 They want us to do it all. That's a person who doesn't believe that the responsibility is fully

00:06:15.420 on their shoulders to achieve what they want to achieve. And that's where it is for you.

00:06:19.680 The responsibility of your life is on you. It's not on anybody else. It's not your wife's job to 0.99

00:06:26.800 make you happy. It's not your employer's job to keep you employed or get you clients. It's not your

00:06:31.520 client's job to pay you so that you can make a livelihood. Now, does that happen? Sure. But it's

00:06:36.860 not their responsibility. It's your responsibility. And so we have to bring in the right people and vet those

00:06:43.900 individuals and surround ourselves with the right people, serve them diligently so that they will

00:06:49.680 contribute to our overall goals and objectives. But guys, realize that no one owes you anything.

00:06:56.800 No one's going to rescue you. No one's going to save you. It's not all on your shoulders, but the

00:07:02.300 responsibility is all on your shoulders. Number three, realize that you're either growing in life or you're

00:07:08.680 dying. There's no cruise control for life. Sometimes we believe there is. I've done this in the

00:07:13.900 past where I've had business success. And because I, I enjoy the success that I've, I've earned,

00:07:20.880 frankly, that I can just coast, that I can just sit back, that I no longer have to do anything

00:07:27.060 that the, you know, the gods of fortune have smiled down upon me and rained upon me their abundant

00:07:32.840 blessings. That isn't true. Uh, what ends up happening if you're resting on your laurels or something

00:07:39.400 that you've done in the past is that you begin to falter. You begin to slip. Things start

00:07:43.740 falling through the cracks. Things start piling up that you may not see right away, but it's going

00:07:48.480 to happen at some point. I've, I have a friend and my former football and baseball coach in high

00:07:54.820 school who would always say, you're only as good as your last at bat. You're only as good as your

00:08:00.340 last at bat. So people will talk about how great they are and how much money they made three years

00:08:06.620 ago and what their business did 10 years ago and what kind of high school, you know, athlete they

00:08:11.440 were. I don't care about any of that. No, but neither does anybody else. You're the only one who

00:08:17.620 cares about that. And guess what? If you did something 10 years ago, congratulations, what did

00:08:23.040 you do today? It's like going into a restaurant or a hotel and you see on the wall, best hotel in the

00:08:30.580 area for 2010, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. And then they'll tout we're the best for five years in a row.

00:08:37.920 2015, that was nine years ago. Where's the plaque for 2022, 2023, 2024? Oh, it's not up there. Guess

00:08:45.300 what? You're not what you used to be because you let things slip. You let things fall. Go look in the

00:08:53.220 mirror, get naked right now. Go look in the mirror and ask yourself, are you as good today as far as your 0.92

00:08:58.060 body composition as you were last year or five years ago or 10 years ago? If it's not, then you've

00:09:05.660 coasted, you've rested. You believe that you arrive potentially even, and that you no longer have to

00:09:11.520 address those things. Well, the reality of life is that what you don't pay attention to will gradually

00:09:17.980 rust, decay, fall apart, break down. That doesn't apply just to tangible objects like a car or technology

00:09:26.740 applies to relationships. It applies to your business. It applies to your health. If you don't

00:09:33.540 take care of it, it will break down, continue to maintain and grow. Because if you're not growing

00:09:39.760 again, you're dying. Number four, and this ties into the first one about worth. You already have

00:09:45.840 everything it takes to be successful inside of you and the resources around you. Frankly, you have,

00:09:52.280 there's no better time in the history of this planet and our species to have success, however you want

00:10:01.060 to measure success. The technology that we have here, the ease of travel, e-commerce, capitalism in

00:10:11.540 general, access to life-saving medical information, access to financial abundance, access to educational

00:10:19.440 resources. I mean, think about trying to gain access to books. Well, quite frankly, before there

00:10:26.840 was even the printing press, who had access to those? The ultra exclusive, the ultra wealthy,

00:10:32.820 that's it. Not the common man like you and I, but because we have the printing press, now I can go to

00:10:37.960 the library. I don't even have to buy a book. I can go to the library with a free library card,

00:10:43.180 pick up a book by my favorite author, read it, or some of the smartest men throughout history,

00:10:47.820 read it, and then immediately start applying it. If I don't want to go to the library, I can jump on

00:10:52.420 this little device I have, my phone, and download something. Maybe I don't even want to read it.

00:10:57.760 Cool. I'll listen to it. Guys, the information's there. You have all of the resources. Now, the only

00:11:05.620 thing I think that separates those who are successful from those who aren't is not access to the resources,

00:11:10.660 it's utilization of those resources. Elon Musk utilizes resources better than I would say the

00:11:17.840 average person as it pertains to his business and capitalism. Now you might say, well, he has more

00:11:24.300 money. Well, yeah. Why? Because he utilized his resources better than the average individual like

00:11:31.240 myself, for example. I can get to that point. And now people say, well, the rich get richer and the

00:11:36.440 poor get poorer, right? Because you're either growing or you're dying. Let me give you the

00:11:41.720 counter example of that. Let's say that you put in for the lottery and you won $10 million. How long

00:11:46.640 without the financial acumen to earn $10 million, how long do you think you would have $10 million

00:11:53.360 in your account if you won the lottery? And if you're being honest, in a year, how much would you

00:11:58.500 have? Less or more? In five years, would you have less or more than $10 million net worth? In 10 years,

00:12:03.560 would you have less or more? I think if you don't have the financial acumen, all of us,

00:12:08.180 if we're being honest, would have less because we haven't earned the right to that amount of money.

00:12:14.360 And so we default back to what we know. So you have to continue to put forth the effort and you

00:12:19.100 have to continue to grow. But no, you have all the mindsets, you have the abundance, you have the

00:12:23.940 prosperity, you have the opportunity. And all that we need to do now is to employ it correctly and

00:12:31.340 successfully. Part of the way that we do that is by listening to information like this,

00:12:36.800 hiring mentors, hiring coaches, going to courses, programs, events, signing up for newsletters,

00:12:42.880 listening to podcasts, reading books. It's all there. We just have to use it. I can't remember

00:12:49.240 who said it, but, and I'm going to butcher this quote, but the man who does not read has no advantage

00:12:57.040 over the man who cannot read. The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot 0.97

00:13:02.500 read. So if you take an individual who's incapable of achieving and you compare that to you or me,

00:13:09.140 we're capable of achieving. And yet we're not employing the resources the way they should be

00:13:12.540 employed. Then we have no advantage over the guy who can't do it. We were in the same camp as that guy.

00:13:18.440 So guys, let's employ our resources correctly. Let's learn to invest in ourselves,

00:13:23.320 to utilize what we have available, to know that we're worthy of it, and to go out and make it

00:13:28.220 happen. And then the last thing here that I wanted to share is that there's going to be people in your

00:13:36.900 camp who are wanting to see you win. They're wanting to see you succeed. And there's people

00:13:43.360 who don't want you to win and don't want you to succeed for whatever reason. We don't have to get

00:13:48.160 into all those reasons, but it's our job to discern who the individuals in our lives are

00:13:53.460 that want us to succeed. And there's going to be some who are indifferent. And then there's going to

00:13:57.680 be those who don't want us to succeed. Our job in this situation is to identify those individuals,

00:14:06.020 even if it's close family and friends who are sabotaging you, undermining you, bringing negative

00:14:11.760 energy into your life, hoping that you fail in some way because it's an indictment against them,

00:14:16.580 not necessarily you. You need to get rid of those people. You cannot have those people in your life

00:14:21.820 because if you do, they're going to drag you down. And that's exactly what they want to do.

00:14:26.940 They want to drag you down. Conversely, there are people in your life who you may not even fully

00:14:33.240 acknowledge to the degree that maybe you ought to, who wants you to win, who wants you to succeed,

00:14:37.540 who wants you to do well, who will support you, who will invest in you, who do believe in you.

00:14:41.760 Those are the people that matter. You find those kinds of people and you purge all the people

00:14:46.300 who are distractions and negative energy and toxicity to what you're trying to create.

00:14:50.940 And instead you invite through intentionality, the right people who care about you and want to see

00:14:56.320 you win. They're smart. They're successful. They're willing to share. They're humble. They're

00:15:01.040 gracious. They're kind, man. You're going to be unstoppable. I know that might be a little bit

00:15:06.880 counter to what I said is that, you know, no one's going to, you know, save you. And what I mean by

00:15:12.260 that is it's not their responsibility, but you better believe there are people in your life

00:15:16.240 who want you to win and who will do what they can to help that become a reality.

00:15:22.440 This is a very short one, but it's important. I don't want you to settle in life. Guys have a plan,

00:15:28.660 right? Have some action steps, making sure that you're doing the after action reviews that we've

00:15:33.100 talked about, evaluating your progress, pivoting, adjusting, correcting along the way. Those are all

00:15:38.700 tactical strategies that we can talk more about. And we have talked about in the past. I just want

00:15:43.360 us to get right in the mind first, because once it's right up here and then we get down into paper

00:15:49.300 and into action, everything else is going to move forward from there. Let's recap real quick. Number

00:15:54.040 one, you are worth so much more than you might believe yourself to be. Don't fall into imposter

00:16:00.440 syndrome. Don't let anybody speak disparagingly about you or beat you up. Don't, don't let that into

00:16:07.380 your life. Don't even do it to yourself. You're worth it. And you are worthy of having something

00:16:12.840 great. I don't even know how else to say it other than God wants you to win. He wants you to succeed.

00:16:19.440 You are here for a reason. We just have to figure out what it is and then start putting it into action.

00:16:24.180 Number two, no one owes you anything. Now there's going to be, again, people who come into my life,

00:16:28.440 in your life who are going to serve you, but they don't owe you anything. Your success,

00:16:32.360 your results are a direct reflection of your responsibility, the level of your responsibility

00:16:38.620 for your life. Number three, you're either growing or dying. No cruise control. You're getting better

00:16:43.700 or you're getting worse. You're rusting, you're eroding, you're breaking down or you're growing

00:16:48.220 and thriving and building and getting better. Number four is you already have everything that

00:16:53.060 it takes. You don't need anything else. Sometimes we have so many guys who are in this paralysis

00:16:58.980 by analysis or this perfection paralysis, I call it, where everything has to be just perfect before

00:17:04.200 they launch. No, it doesn't. You have everything to get on the path right now. Just make sure you're

00:17:09.940 utilizing and employing it correctly. And again, the last point here is that there's going to be

00:17:14.920 some people in your camp who are rooting for you, who are allies, who want to stand shoulder to

00:17:20.040 shoulder with you. And there's some traders in your midst and they're not always doing it out of

00:17:26.520 some malicious intent. In fact, I don't think, I think most of the time they're not, but that

00:17:31.900 doesn't matter because what they bring is actually detrimental to what you want to accomplish.

00:17:38.400 Identify the traders in your midst, identify the allies, and then take steps and actions

00:17:43.020 appropriately and accordingly. Guys, I hope that serves you. If you have other thoughts about what

00:17:47.920 you'd like me to share or thoughts about this subject in particular, just take a screenshot,

00:17:52.420 post it up on Instagram, post it up on Twitter, post it up on Facebook. And also while you do that,

00:17:57.800 just message me and say, Hey, Ryan, here's another thought for you. Or make a comment on Instagram or,

00:18:03.200 or X or, or Facebook, and let me know what you're thinking. This is a community order, meaning

00:18:10.080 organization, fraternal organization. This isn't just me sharing my thoughts and ideas. It should be all

00:18:15.060 of us sharing our thoughts and ideas collectively so we can all be served by it. The only announcements I

00:18:20.800 have for you today is that we have, I believe two spots available, uh, for our uprising experience,

00:18:26.760 which is going to be held May 2nd through the 5th, 2024. So that's coming up very quickly.

00:18:31.580 Uh, we'd love to see you there. 20 men are coming to a very cool cabin property that I've secured

00:18:37.740 in Southern Utah, and we're going to hold you accountable. We're going to give you tools,

00:18:42.960 resources for not settling, for making sure that you're not, we're going to give you everything that

00:18:47.060 you need to help make this year, the best year of your life in your relationships, your business,

00:18:52.440 your financial relationships, all of it. So you can check that out at order of man.com slash

00:18:57.500 uprising. That's it guys. That's all I've got. We'll be back next week until then go out there,

00:19:02.660 take action, do not settle and become the man you are meant to be.

00:19:08.400 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:19:13.020 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Don't Settle ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

People

Summary