Order of Man - Drastically Improve Your Decision-Making

00:00:00.000 Each of us are faced with thousands of decisions on a daily basis and your ability to make the

00:00:05.180 right decisions spells the difference between failure and success for you and your family,

00:00:10.340 your clients, your business, and your community. Unfortunately, with all the variables to take

00:00:14.820 into consideration, it's hard to know which decisions are best. And that's why I'm looking

00:00:19.220 forward to getting this conversation to you today. My guest is David Meltzer and he is the CEO of one

00:00:24.640 of the world's leading sports and entertainment marketing agencies. Today, we go to the root

00:00:30.400 of making choices, why assumptions kill success, the power of harnessing fear, and how to improve

00:00:38.100 your game time decision making. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace

00:00:43.300 your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:49.100 Every time, you are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged, resilient, strong. This is

00:00:55.740 your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all

00:01:01.420 is said and done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is

00:01:06.640 Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.

00:01:11.960 As I do every week, I want to welcome you, whether you're new to the show and you're listening for the

00:01:15.620 first time. And there are a lot of you, or you've been with us for four and a half years now. This

00:01:21.160 is the leading podcast for men. It's my job and obligation and responsibility and desire, frankly,

00:01:28.000 to give you the tools and the resources and the guidance and the direction and the inspiration and

00:01:32.540 everything that you might need to improve your capabilities as a father and a husband,

00:01:36.640 business owner, community leader, coach, mentor, friend, brother, however you're showing up as a man.

00:01:42.080 And I know there's millions and millions of us across the planet that want to improve our

00:01:46.500 abilities and that's what we're doing here. So we've got our interview show like I do today with

00:01:50.620 David Meltzer, but we've had other guys on incredible, incredible men, very, very successful

00:01:55.060 men. Andy Frisilla, Jocko Willink, David Goggins, Grant Cardone, Tim Kennedy, Dakota Meyer, our lineup of

00:02:02.900 men who have joined us, who believe in what we're doing, which is reclaiming and restoring

00:02:06.540 masculinity is absolutely incredible. And I am honored and humbled to be able to lead the charge,

00:02:12.760 lead the movement in reclaiming what it means to be a man. Now we need it more than ever. There's

00:02:19.340 evidence all around us specifically because I think about these, these shootings, these mass shootings

00:02:25.880 over the past weekend. I can't help but think that we have as a society collectively and generally

00:02:31.700 done our young men a disservice. And I want to give all of us everything that we need to be able to

00:02:36.560 step up and improve our lives and improve the, the boys who are coming behind us. It's critical.

00:02:42.760 It's our obligation. It's our moral responsibility. So with that said, we're going to get right into the

00:02:47.880 conversation here in just a minute. I do want to introduce you very quickly to the friends of mine

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00:03:50.320 as in the state Maine, originmaine.com, and then use the code order, O-R-D-E-R at checkout,

00:03:56.160 and you'll get a discount on your entire order. Again, Origin Maine, use the code order. All right,

00:04:01.140 guys, let's get into this one. I told you already, my guest is David Meltzer. He is the CEO of Sports

00:04:07.660 One Marketing. He's a top 10 keynote speaker. He's a humanitarian. He's a bestselling author. He's done

00:04:14.040 it all, a little bit of everything, and he's been very, very successful at it. He's got over 25 years

00:04:18.700 in the legal, technology, sports, entertainment fields, and needless to say, he's an expert in

00:04:25.080 all that with high-pressure decision-making situations. He is business partners with Hall

00:04:31.160 of Fame quarterback Warren Moon, who I know a lot of you are familiar with, or at least watched when

00:04:35.080 you were younger. And he inspired movies such as Jerry Maguire, Any Given Sunday, and For Love of

00:04:40.900 the Game. And as you'll hear in our conversation today, he is an extremely, extremely deep thinker.

00:04:45.400 And I know that you'll enjoy how deep we get into this podcast and how to position yourself to

00:04:50.380 ultimately make better choices and decisions. Dave, so great to have you on. Thanks for joining

00:04:56.120 me on the podcast today. Oh, I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this. And with the launch

00:05:01.500 of my book, there could not be a better time to do this interview with a better audience.

00:05:05.680 I think it makes a lot of sense too. I mean, we're talking about decision-making today,

00:05:08.680 hopefully, is what we're going to go through. And quite honestly, I think that's something that a lot of

00:05:12.680 guys deal with is the ability to make decisive decisions, the ability to be intentional about

00:05:17.880 that, and then make accurate decisions and maybe even review those decisions. So I'm sure we'll get

00:05:22.220 into all of that today. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me a little bit about the, just the premise

00:05:28.740 of the book itself, and then we'll use that as the foundation for the rest of the discussion.

00:05:34.760 So the biggest question people ask me, I've lived this variety of life, I would say. I grew up broke,

00:05:42.660 with six kids and a single mom, and the main objective of being rich enough to buy my mom a

00:05:48.080 house and a car. And I ended up being a millionaire out of law school and a multimillionaire into my

00:05:52.100 thirties. And then I lost a portfolio of over a hundred million dollars. And the key question,

00:05:59.080 and I've been able to go from rags to riches to rags to riches with two different philosophies.

00:06:04.280 But the main question that people ask is, how the heck did you lose all that money?

00:06:08.440 And I went back to study how critical decisions are made. So many people realize that, you know,

00:06:15.340 we're one good decision away from tremendous success, but we're also one bad decision away

00:06:19.880 from horrible ruin. And so looking at that, I realized that in order to come to that effective

00:06:26.980 intentional decision, a quick decision, there's a whole process that existed. And one of those things

00:06:32.880 that I talk about in the book is understanding the conscious, the subconscious, and the unconscious

00:06:38.440 mind and how those are connected, as well as the assumptions that we make. I always tell people,

00:06:44.740 it's not the decisions we make, it's the assumptions that we've made to make that decision. I believe we

00:06:50.460 have an innate ability, consciously from what we think, say, and do, subconsciously from the belief

00:06:56.640 system that we have, and even a higher source of unconscious competency from the personality traits,

00:07:02.260 characteristics, obsessions, and addictions, and the energy we carry from generations before us to

00:07:07.940 make accurate, maximized decisions. But a lot of times we make the wrong assumptions. I'll give you

00:07:14.220 a horrible one. You get, you know, fatal news from a doctor who has run tests on you, and they tell you

00:07:21.060 that we need emergency surgery, but there's a huge risk. You may not survive it, but it's the only way

00:07:26.500 that you can live. And meanwhile, I make the assumption that my doctor has read the report right,

00:07:31.620 or it was a correct report, or whatever it was, if I make that assumption, then he better be right.

00:07:38.660 And I've learned, you know, for second opinions and other things, because no matter who the expert

00:07:43.460 is, we are all human, and there is a statistical success rate in everything that we do. And if

00:07:50.180 something is that critical, I've learned the assumption that I make is to the alternative,

00:07:55.660 that I put faith in what I truly want, and that I better double check it, and give the universe an

00:08:00.580 opportunity to show me the truth. And I think, you know, to its core, I can help people, not only

00:08:07.300 with the decisions, but more importantly, to understand what goes into making a game time decision.

00:08:15.300 So one of the things you said is that the universe to show you the truth, and then we're talking about

00:08:19.400 assumptions, which if I'm understanding correctly, you're talking about choosing what you decide to

00:08:24.900 believe. And you wouldn't necessarily link that up as synonymous with universal truth. So walk me

00:08:34.100 through how you would reconcile the two truth versus what you choose to believe. And maybe correct me if

00:08:39.940 I misunderstood.

00:08:40.620 No, you did. So, you know, there is a pragmatic truth that number one, let's take the fatal disease

00:08:48.420 report. That requires instant surgery. Well, if I just assume that that's true, and I go ahead with

00:08:55.360 the surgery, there's a certain amount of faith that I have to put in that I'll survive the surgery.

00:09:00.200 Yeah, I think if you didn't have faith, you probably wouldn't do the surgery at all.

00:09:04.380 Correct.

00:09:04.920 If you have some level of faith anyways.

00:09:07.120 Yeah, and I think it takes more faith, not just in a pragmatic sense, but in a universal sense,

00:09:12.280 it takes more faith to go ahead and ask for a second opinion. And I think it's the same decision

00:09:19.640 that we make of how we live our life. Do we choose to be happy or not? Do we choose to believe that this

00:09:25.560 is it? Or that there's other things past this life? Right? These little assumptions change our

00:09:31.040 entire mindset. And so just the fact that if we have a assumptive belief of that the conscious,

00:09:39.180 what we think, say, and do is on one embodiment, you know, from the time of Sanskrit existed,

00:09:44.700 Sanskrit existed, that we know that we've been given a body, but yet we are also possessing a mind.

00:09:52.120 And that mind is where the beliefs are held. It's the 40,000 of the same thoughts that we have every day

00:09:57.660 that actually affect and activate and deactivate DNA, personality traits, characteristics, obsessions,

00:10:03.120 addictions, and an energy. Well, I put my faith into the good, right?

00:10:08.940 I put my faith into the expansion. I put my faith into the acceleration and growth of what I'm doing.

00:10:14.100 So therefore, if I get a piece of news that has an importance or a risk to it, I'm going to learn

00:10:20.100 more about it. I'm going to be more interested than interesting on a pragmatic level of faith.

00:10:24.680 And so I'm going to ask for more information. In this case, in medicine, I'll ask for a second or

00:10:30.300 third opinion or both. And I'll ask for more and more options. People like Bernard King,

00:10:35.500 for example, of the New York Knicks, right? He was told he would never play again. And he got more

00:10:43.340 and more opinions until he found a doctor that said, actually, I think I can get you to play again.

00:10:48.460 And he put faith in that. And he did the work. He took action for it. And he actually went back not

00:10:56.660 only to play, but to be an MVP and to be an all-star and to be an all-pro and extraordinary when

00:11:03.340 it was at that time an impossibility. And so I think that our faith determines our route, even if the

00:11:12.380 report was right. And I went to three doctors and they said, having the attitude of faith. Now,

00:11:19.460 like you said, I think you would have to have faith in order to take the surgery. Yes. Right now,

00:11:25.580 after three opinions, I have the faith to have surgery and my faith is put into that. I am going

00:11:30.160 to only be stronger and better because of this. Well, that's a choice.

00:11:35.080 Yeah. And I'm glad you're talking about the pragmatic approach, which leads you to action.

00:11:38.580 Because I think where a lot of people fall short, and this is where I think even people who are

00:11:42.920 listening might get hung up, is that it begins to sound kind of woo-woo and out there or even

00:11:48.040 solely spiritual when I think the missing piece to the puzzle a lot of the times is, all right,

00:11:54.040 how does this then translate to us actually taking action that will enhance our lives?

00:12:00.100 Right. I believe in that balance, right? A lot of stuff that I teach and preach and believe in is

00:12:06.860 woo-woo. But all the woo-woo stuff that I believe in has a pragmatic analysis to it. I like to apply

00:12:13.980 math to it. And I have a unique being that, you know, is more mathematical than anything else. And

00:12:19.980 that because I live my life in only the pragmatic realm, and I was extremely successful in the pragmatic

00:12:25.060 realm, that I went and applied the pragmatic business side of everything that I did to the

00:12:32.440 unproven to the spiritual side of things. And I started realizing, for example, if you talk about

00:12:37.780 game-time decision-making, our first decision is to be happy, right? It's a choice. And we have a true

00:12:43.780 happiness problem in what we're doing, meaning that most people don't choose to be happy. The average

00:12:50.140 American is only happy 15 days a year, and they're not making the right choice. And so one of my-

00:12:56.520 Can I interrupt you on that one real quick?

00:12:58.840 Yeah, please.

00:12:59.560 I think this will help just further the conversation is, I believe that you are correct in that

00:13:07.080 happiness is a choice. But I also think that there's a lot of people out there who don't believe

00:13:12.220 it is a choice and believe that it's, or maybe not believe, it's just ingrained in them to take a

00:13:20.160 different path. I mean, what are your thoughts there?

00:13:23.480 So that is an excellent true point. And that's why so many people are only happy 15 days a year.

00:13:31.300 Until we can understand the three realms, and this is where the synergies between the woo-woo and the

00:13:37.200 pragmatic exists, and where science has really helped me out, that when I started looking at the

00:13:42.680 cellular structure of the body, that each cell has its own memory, and that we are exposed to about

00:13:49.120 10,000 new thoughts a day, new data points a day, new happenings a day, that we utilize our senses,

00:13:54.740 the way we see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. And we use those to input data into our cellular memory.

00:14:02.720 And through that input, it impacts the 40,000 of the same thoughts we have in the subconscious,

00:14:08.400 which creates neural pathways. And those neural pathways are what creates disciplines or habits

00:14:13.400 beliefs. And those beliefs then are what actually impact the DNA, this code that is us. And that code's

00:14:22.320 been handed down by generations and generations. And certain of the codes are active, and certain are

00:14:28.200 deactivated. And they manifest themselves in your personality, in your characteristics, in your

00:14:35.380 obsessions, in your addictions, in the energy that you have. And that's the most powerful side of

00:14:41.680 things. So although the reason people are separate from this idea and feel insecure or fearful or out

00:14:48.540 of control because of it, is because a lot of it lies happiness in your genetics, in your actual code.

00:14:56.040 And therefore, those people that are born with a happy code seem not to choose to do it. And those who

00:15:02.100 are born with an unhappy code seem not to do it. But instead, what they don't realize is they're

00:15:08.040 accountable, one and two, empowered and in control, and able to change or shift their own genetics or

00:15:15.300 their own energy. In other words, mathematically, scientifically, you have a choice to make that

00:15:21.400 shift to be happy. And it's very hard pragmatically to grasp. And most people live in the ego-based

00:15:27.800 consciousness of the separateness of fear, inferiority, superior, the need to be right, the need to be

00:15:32.760 offended, the need to be anxious, the need to be guilty, resentful, all these different things of the

00:15:37.340 ego-based conscious that doesn't allow them to see or have the awareness that they are in control and

00:15:43.620 have the power to choose whatever it is they want, especially happiness.

00:15:49.780 So are you saying then that the happiness code or genetic is hereditary based on things that have

00:15:56.780 happened before you were even born?

00:15:58.140 One, you know, not to get too woo-woo. Absolutely, yes. And two, right? It could be beyond this

00:16:06.120 lifetime, which makes it even more hard to decipher, distinguish, or believe in. So those

00:16:10.640 people who believe in past lives or future lives, you may have been handed down things from, as you

00:16:15.920 know, I've studied under a master in China that believes there's millions of past lives. Whether I

00:16:21.080 believe it or not is irrelevant to other people, because it could just be handed down from whatever you

00:16:25.040 believe it's handed down to, but I can mathematically and scientifically show you have DNA. And yes, I

00:16:30.500 believe that the happiness gene is activated within the DNA that you have. And some people have more of

00:16:37.180 it activated than others. And you can see this from the time babies are born. Some are more happy than

00:16:42.520 others as they turn six months, one year, two year, four years. And that's where we started to utilize

00:16:48.960 medication and other things to try to activate and deactivate the happiness gene to get the consistent

00:16:54.600 and persistent behavior. But the truth is, what's really needed beyond any medication systems,

00:17:00.760 rehabs, whatever else may exist out there, is we need to empower people that they have the choice and

00:17:06.520 teach them about enjoying the consistent, everyday, persistent, without quit, pursuit of their potential.

00:17:12.920 And so how does one who, at least at a minimum, I should say, wants to be happy,

00:17:19.380 wants to improve in this capacity, begin to do that?

00:17:21.820 Yeah. So you lower the bar, right? And we start doing things consistently. So maybe we take a

00:17:28.000 minimum of two minutes a day to figure out how and what makes us happy, right? I noticed I didn't say

00:17:33.640 why. It's the how and what that are so difficult, right? What makes us happy? And we utilize a minimum

00:17:39.600 of two minutes a day because two minutes a day is worth more than two hours on a weekend. But we utilize

00:17:44.100 that. And then we start realizing as we utilize that, what makes us happy? We might utilize a choice of,

00:17:49.780 hey, I don't have to do anything. I get to do everything. So my activity that I'm going to have

00:17:55.720 before I do the activity, I'm going to take the perspective that how could I get to do this? So

00:18:01.580 for example, driving carpools with my kids, I used to say, man, I have to do this. Now I say,

00:18:07.360 I'm so lucky I get to do this because I get to spend one-on-one time with my kids. And that time's

00:18:12.700 limited because eventually they're going to turn into teenagers and not want to be with me and then go

00:18:16.480 on and move on to their own lives. And less and less times, and one of the most valuable things

00:18:20.060 in my life that makes me happy, one of those what's is spending time with my kids. And why or

00:18:25.940 how do I make taking or traveling with my children called carpools into a negative, sad experience when

00:18:32.840 it should be a positive, happy experience? So these are the little choices that we make analogously to

00:18:39.280 having the right perspective in sports of why certain sports franchises, organizations,

00:18:43.400 teams and individuals seem to be more successful on the field, uh, can be utilized off the field as

00:18:50.760 well. So do you think that's the foundation for success on the field or success in business or

00:18:56.780 within your family is learning first to choose to be happy and then things result from that? Is that

00:19:03.520 the foundation, I guess is what I'm asking. No, I believe the foundation itself is on, uh,

00:19:09.060 four different truths. You know, one is being grateful to is being forgiving. Three is being

00:19:16.420 accountable. And four is understanding how things come through you with appreciation,

00:19:21.760 meaning inspired. Like we have to have a litmus or a competition of how inspired we are. Inspired

00:19:26.960 people are happy. So I've come up with this statement that allows you as a foundation to be grateful,

00:19:34.480 meaning having a positive perspective, making your past great, your present better in your future,

00:19:39.220 even brighter, being forgiving, uh, of everything, but most importantly yourself, because you can't

00:19:45.020 give what you don't have and being forgiving gives you peace, being accountable, meaning what did I do

00:19:50.960 to attract this to myself? What am I supposed to learn from it? And with that accountability,

00:19:54.800 understanding, I have complete control of my life, which through the enjoyment of the positive

00:20:00.660 perspective of the consistent every day, persistent without quit pursuit, you have to be inspired,

00:20:07.640 inspired to be in pursuit. And if you're inspired, you are happy pursuit of my potential, my potential,

00:20:13.820 not anyone else's no separation, no inferiority, superiority, anxiety, fear, et cetera. It's my

00:20:19.300 potential. So if I have the enjoyment of the consistent, persistent pursuit of my potential,

00:20:23.280 utilizing gratitude, empathy, accountability, or effective communication, then I'm going to make the

00:20:27.880 right decisions so that I'm accelerating and growing in my life. In other words, I'm going to

00:20:32.280 be happy every day, not all day long, not all day long, but I'm going to get back to center and

00:20:37.700 happiness faster than before. When I know that I'm basing my decisions on ego-based consciousness,

00:20:43.560 not truth consciousness. You've done such a good job just based on me hearing what you're saying,

00:20:49.240 it creating, or maybe not creating, I guess, creating to some degree, and then identifying and

00:20:54.160 articulating these frameworks that have helped you thrive. But I imagine it hasn't always been

00:20:59.860 that way. And I imagine there's men who are listening who feel very much the same way, that

00:21:04.660 this is almost daunting. You're talking about being grateful and forgiving and accountable and inspired

00:21:09.220 and empathetic and communicating effectively, which all is great and wonderful. But I think it may come

00:21:15.100 across as overwhelming to somebody who may be in a situation that I know you were in based on some

00:21:20.720 past experiences in your story. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, when this idea was presented to me the

00:21:27.000 first time, I must have rolled my eyes. I actually went into a diatribe when I, to quickly tell the

00:21:33.420 story, was flying to India. And everyone goes through a quantum shift, the shift in the purpose,

00:21:39.120 their inspiration, et cetera. They realize that there might be a different way to do things. Well,

00:21:44.140 I was going to India and ran into a medical doctor who's also, unbeknownst to me, a quantum healer.

00:21:50.340 And the data meditation expert. But she literally said to me, when I was flying, are you okay? And

00:21:56.820 in my ego-based mind, the mind of most of the people that are listening here, I'm like, of course,

00:22:01.300 I'm okay. Do you know who I am? I'm the CEO of Lee Steinberg Sports Entertainment, the greatest

00:22:04.960 sports agency in the world. I'm Dave Meltzer. And then she proceeds to tell me, wow. I said, why?

00:22:11.080 Why would you ask me that? She said, because you're so full of light and you're blocking it. And I'm

00:22:15.560 rolling my eyes going, oh my God, this has been the longest flight of my life. What is this crazy

00:22:19.620 woman talking about? And then she, literally, then she said to me, I'm like, well, thank you. I go,

00:22:25.820 she said, do you meditate? And to show you my mindset, which is probably the majority of the

00:22:30.180 mindset of the people that are listening to this interview, because this is where I was at in a

00:22:34.340 total ego-based consciousness. I said to her almost verbatim, but not verbatim. I said to her, meditate.

00:22:40.300 I don't have time to meditate, right? Only broke, sick people that are high that live home on their

00:22:48.660 mom's couch. Those are the people that meditate. I've made everything happen in my life. I'm

00:22:53.120 extremely happy. I'm extremely rich. I'm a beautiful wife and family. I have everything I've ever dreamed

00:22:59.100 of. And it certainly, it didn't happen for me sitting on some couch meditating, saying, um,

00:23:03.920 right. That's where my perspective was. And then she explained to me, which changed my life, that

00:23:09.720 everything vibrated and that through meditation, she could teach me to vibrate faster. I almost ran

00:23:15.480 out the door when she said vibration. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Then she explained to

00:23:20.820 me, right. This is all woo woo stuff that I don't believe in. And then she said, well, the earth vibrates

00:23:25.680 the slowest than plants, animals, humans, sound, light, and then thought. And then she rocked my world.

00:23:30.480 And she asked me, what thought do you think vibrates the fastest? And I said, I have no

00:23:34.880 idea. She said the truth. And at that moment, something hit me that I wasn't living in the

00:23:39.620 truth that I was overselling, manipulating, lying, living in fear, anxiety, scarcity, separation,

00:23:45.060 inferiority, superiority, guilt, resentment, offensiveness, aggressive, frustration,

00:23:51.800 aggravation, attacking thoughts, all these different things. I started realizing, wow. And then she

00:23:57.340 rocked me even farther and said, do you know, you can only be aware of that which vibrates equal to

00:24:02.720 or less than you and awareness will change your life. And I said, what do you mean? She goes,

00:24:07.280 imagine if you had the awareness of whether to buy Mr. Businessman, Mr. Richie Rich, imagine if you

00:24:12.200 had the ability to know when to buy or sell, imagine that awareness, how long would it take you to be a

00:24:17.400 billionaire? If you knew when to buy or sell, well, that's what vibration can do to you. That's what

00:24:21.860 meditation, what meditation does for you is just gives you a baseline of when you are connected,

00:24:27.120 to that, which inspires you, that allows you to expand and accelerate towards your higher self,

00:24:31.760 towards your truth, which can include making more money, helping more people and having more fun,

00:24:37.180 which are really the three things that most people want out of their life in order to be happy. If

00:24:41.500 you ask them what to do to be happy, they'd say, man, I'd like a lot of money. I'd like to help a lot

00:24:45.700 of people and I'd like to have a lot of fun. That seems like a really happy life. Well, that's what

00:24:50.280 meditation did for me. That's what this combination of pragmatic business acumen combined with the

00:24:56.260 energetic, spiritual side of enlightenment and awareness has done for me. And it's allowed me,

00:25:01.400 I'm one of the top executive business coaches in the world. I actually coach some of the biggest

00:25:05.480 Fortune 100 executives in the world. And I teach them not only the pragmatic things, the things

00:25:11.220 they do and believe, but most importantly, I shift their energy so they can expand and grow and empower

00:25:16.520 others to empower others so that everybody, their company, them and their employees make more money,

00:25:21.160 help more people and have more fun.

00:25:22.560 So let's talk about meditation then and let's talk about quote unquote shifting energy because I think

00:25:27.760 there's a lot of ways to decipher that and to interpret what that means. And I don't want there

00:25:34.760 to be any misunderstanding of what, for example, meditation looks like and how we begin to tap into

00:25:40.980 some of this opportunity to change our energy, if you will.

00:25:45.420 No, Ryan, I just have to compliment you because insight and questions are extraordinary. And I love

00:25:52.460 someone that can help me align with the mass belief and understanding and ask these critical

00:25:58.420 questions of explanation. So meditation simply is center, right? It's a place in which I believe

00:26:05.860 ego is extracted. It's a place of peace. It's a place of clarity, balance, focus, confidence.

00:26:13.140 It's a place in which you can live in a world of more than enough, more than enough of anything

00:26:17.460 for anyone and everything for everyone. And it's extraordinary to live at peace because when

00:26:23.200 you're at peace, you're happy, you're productive, meaning you're providing value, you're accessible,

00:26:28.660 not only accessible to others, but you're able to access what you want.

00:26:32.360 Meditation, I am a person who's meditated now for 11 years. But initially, all meditation meant

00:26:40.140 to me was closing my eyes, breathing deep in through my nose and out through my mouth with

00:26:45.240 a vertical spine. You know, that helped me find a place that I could go to that was most

00:26:52.040 productive and accessible. And as I started learning about that place, I started learning when I was

00:26:57.440 outside of that place, when I was in the acceleration of the ego and when I was going off of the trajectory

00:27:03.480 of my potential and my truth and causing and creating all kinds of scarcity, all kinds of

00:27:08.540 void shortages, obstacles and resistance in my life and wondering why, if I put faith in those

00:27:13.980 void shortages and obstacles and resistance, I was getting more void shortages, obstacles and

00:27:18.460 resistance. Instead, I started putting faith into what I wanted. And in that place of peace,

00:27:23.100 I was able to get what I wanted more rapidly and accurately. And then in advance from just sitting

00:27:28.000 up straight and breathing into getting trained and getting a, you know, truly a mentor in meditation

00:27:34.200 and learning and guided meditation and learning to be a quantum healer myself and the meditation

00:27:39.600 person myself with beta meditation, how to elevate my awareness through vibration and meditation,

00:27:44.880 and all these extraordinary coincidences, mathematical occurrences of two things connecting to another

00:27:50.600 started occurring, which exponentially started accelerating my life and growing. And it was just amazing

00:27:57.080 that I could have been so lost and lost a portfolio of over $100 million, but in weeks already build and

00:28:04.240 make millions and get back onto the road of success and prosperity. And most important, doing it the

00:28:09.960 right way by being more confident and secure in my own inspired living to live at peace of value for others

00:28:18.660 through me. And I would tell people right away, if you're here listening to me going, this guy is way out

00:28:25.160 there full of shit. And just start breathing, just start breathing, start realizing when you're angry,

00:28:30.280 when you're frustrated, when you're fearful, anxious, offended, resentful, start realizing why you're not

00:28:36.840 happy. And if I can teach and empower you in any way to not go down that path of the ego based consciousness

00:28:43.420 of all those fear based scarce thoughts that cause us a whole bunch of problems, instead to live in peace

00:28:49.640 and happiness and happiness and not waste your energy, emotion and time on things that are only

00:28:53.920 going to be destructive and depreciation your life, then you'll understand the power of simply just

00:29:00.220 breathing. There are some great apps out there like Headspace that'll go ahead and teach the early

00:29:04.760 beginners on how to find center and be at peace.

00:29:08.960 So I want to bring this back into the into the concept and the overarching theme of what I wanted to

00:29:12.940 discuss, which is decision making. Would you say that this is intuition or this allows you

00:29:19.600 to tap more fully into intuition when it comes to making decisions and having that clear head that

00:29:24.300 you're talking about? I really do. You know, I utilized in the book as well as part of the book,

00:29:31.120 I actually believe that everything can be found inside of us, right? We don't have to look that

00:29:36.400 there's no better there. There's only here and all the answers, although other people are mirrors of

00:29:41.640 ourselves, everything can be found within ourselves. And so I actually look up the words in the

00:29:46.980 dictionary with the word in in it. So intellect, intuition, right? All these terrific words that

00:29:54.680 allow me to be empowered. And I absolutely believe that the truth exists within us. And that if we can

00:30:03.140 tap into our own truth, that we will make better decisions that are aligned with the intent that we

00:30:10.500 desire. What keeps us, let me back up, I'll say it this way. I think a lot of us have intuitive thoughts

00:30:19.100 that will probably serve us well. And yet I also believe there's, whether it's internal or external

00:30:26.180 sources of dissent that keep us from following our intuition.

00:30:33.080 Oh, absolutely. One of the biggest misnomers in the universe is that we take the people who care most

00:30:39.300 about us. One of the rules that I always talk about is just because somebody loves you doesn't

00:30:43.120 mean they give you good advice. What happens, what happens so much of the time is we take those people

00:30:48.940 that are most relative to us, our friends, family, and associates, and we take their advice. Basically

00:30:54.180 what that means is we go ahead and manifest what other people want for us. We put faith in what other

00:31:00.420 people want for us. And when that comes, when we're able to do that, we end up presenting those people

00:31:05.520 closest to us that love us most. And we have to realize that those are all pieces of devices from

00:31:12.300 others are all just data that we should utilize within ourselves to see what best balances the

00:31:18.200 personality, meaning the personal values, the experiential values, the giving values and receiving

00:31:22.700 values of that day in order to indicate and give ourselves clarity, balance of those values, focus on

00:31:29.080 what we want. Now, focus is interesting. I talk about it in the book. Obviously, all the successful

00:31:33.880 athletes in the world will talk about focus. We'll talk about hard work. We'll talk about

00:31:37.860 consistent, persistent behavior. But focus to me is a real misguided thing because most people in sports,

00:31:46.480 especially as well as business and entrepreneurship, they talk about fear motivating us. Fear is the most

00:31:52.560 depreciating thing in the world. It will suck your soul dry. But what confuses people is fear actually

00:32:00.080 does have one ability. And the real capability and ability of fear is that it focuses us. And when

00:32:06.840 we're hyper focused, we actually can create extraordinary things. But the problem is it's

00:32:12.540 sucking us of our energy. So if a grandmother and a baby is on a driveway and a grandma sees the baby

00:32:18.680 getting run over, I've seen circumstances where the focus is given extraordinary strength for the

00:32:24.700 grandma to lift up the car so the baby survives. That's an extraordinary power of focus. What they don't

00:32:29.900 talk about is what the grandma felt like afterwards, that because of that focus, it has depreciated all

00:32:35.880 her energy. It actually damaged her. There was so much ATP in her adrenaline flying through her

00:32:40.780 actual body. This is science that it actually tore muscles, tendons and ligaments. She was sore for six

00:32:47.200 months and she had to recover because it depreciated her so much. So what I teach people do is through

00:32:53.180 inspired, enjoyable pursuit of the consistent, persistent behavior of the potential that you

00:33:00.240 actually can live and substitute fear and be focused by utilizing an inspired state of mind of gratitude,

00:33:09.280 forgiveness, accountability in order to effectuate in an appreciative state, not a depreciative state

00:33:16.000 by using focus in substituting fear with gratitude, empathy, and accountability.

00:33:22.740 Is, is inspiration a choice or is that a product of your behavior and your thoughts and your

00:33:32.620 circumstances? Well, I believe all of us exist in spirit. I believe all of us are connected and all

00:33:40.180 of us are one. And I believe that connection is corroded by ego-based consciousness, by actions

00:33:46.880 and beliefs. And faith, by the way, is to me, I would say my faith is what corrodes the connection

00:33:52.940 to that which inspires me. The faith is a combination and aggregate of what we think, what we say, what we

00:33:59.680 do, what we believe, and those unconscious competencies that are discussed previously, our personality,

00:34:04.540 traits, characteristics, obsessions, addictions, and the energy we put out. Well, what happens is

00:34:09.200 everybody is inspired. We just get in our own way and corrode the connection and create really a clog or

00:34:18.100 resistance to that inspiration. And we start getting into the habits and disciplines of depreciating,

00:34:25.120 not accelerating and growing and expanding like the universe is doing scientifically. You can see the

00:34:31.400 universe is expanding, but instead we are narrowing, constricting, utilizing all the ego-based emotions

00:34:37.540 to constrict what we want, to create scarcities, limitations, void shortages, and obstacles not

00:34:42.980 understanding. The more we expand, the more things come through us for others, the more we'll have for

00:34:48.260 ourselves as well. So why do we do that first? And then what would that actually look like, that

00:34:54.920 corrosion of inspiration? We see it all the time. You know, it's everything that exists in ego. Let me

00:35:02.380 give you an example because I love the fact that you're forcing out of me like, okay, these are

00:35:06.920 very theoretical things. Give me a pragmatic thing that these guys can hold on to. They're listening

00:35:11.020 to this. You know, here's something every dad out there can understand. I walk outside my house,

00:35:16.980 I wake up at four in the morning, I meditate for 20 minutes, and then I utilize 10 minutes to get ready

00:35:21.260 and get to the gym and work out a minimum of one hour a day. Saturday morning comes, it's about,

00:35:26.580 you know, 425 and I'm walking outside and I look and see that my 17-year-old daughter's car is missing.

00:35:33.300 My initial reaction is one of corroding my connection to that which inspires me. My initial

00:35:39.200 reaction is in the ego-based consciousness that is based off of fear. So my reaction, which is an

00:35:45.820 accelerated reaction that took me off of my trajectory to my potential or truth or inspired life,

00:35:50.880 is that simply I got angry. In fact, I got really pissed and I pick up my phone and I'm going to

00:35:57.740 dial my daughter who's 17 years old and lay her out for not being home and not having her car right

00:36:04.160 in front of my house, et cetera. But because I understand this process, because I'm working

00:36:10.040 towards my potential, because I'm practicing this myself, I'm trying to get better at it, I stop.

00:36:15.460 I stop for a second and I ask myself, why am I so mad? And I said, because I'm afraid. Well,

00:36:22.540 I know that fear is an ego-based consciousness that accelerates me in the wrong direction.

00:36:27.300 So I ask myself, why am I afraid? I then realize that I'm afraid because I don't think of many

00:36:34.320 things on earth I love more than my 17-year-old daughter and if something should have happened

00:36:38.280 to her, I'm afraid of that and I'm afraid of the hurt that I won't be able to handle it.

00:36:45.460 And so I said, well, this is not going to be productive, right? This is not a good decision.

00:36:50.940 Why don't you come from a place of love? Because what you're saying is the reasons that you're

00:36:55.640 afraid is because you love her and feel connected and inspired with her and to her. So why don't

00:37:01.780 you come from that place? So what I did is I redialed the phone and I called my daughter who

00:37:05.460 instantly answered the phone from waking up and said, hello? I said, hey Mia, your car's not out

00:37:12.900 front. Where are you? Are you okay? She feels the love and caring. She's like, yeah, dad. I literally,

00:37:20.580 kids were drinking. You told me not to get in the car with anyone drinking. So you told me I could

00:37:25.520 Uber. Is that okay? And the car's at the grocery store. If you need to get it, I'll be happy to

00:37:30.080 wake up and help you. So no, no, no. Go back to bed. What would have occurred if I acted in ego-based

00:37:37.000 consciousness is I would have yelled at her, swore at her, made her feel terrible. I would

00:37:41.960 have created a corrosion to the connection of a higher vibrating love, an inspired thought of love

00:37:47.900 and caring and all the things that I truly feel about my daughter. And I would have destroyed part

00:37:52.740 of my relationship. In fact, so much so that later on in my life, the next time kids were drinking,

00:37:57.740 she would have said to herself, it's not worth it. My dad doesn't know what he's talking about.

00:38:02.180 He's an asshole. I'm just going to drive home and God knows what happens from there.

00:38:06.280 Hmm. Right. And it just creates a cycle, a cycle of negative corrosion. It corrodes the connection

00:38:12.180 where, because I understand where this place is, this inspired place that we're all connected and

00:38:19.500 can inspire. That's why you can inspire someone that you walk by on the street, right? You can

00:38:23.960 inspire somebody, whether they're homeless or somebody you don't know because we're all connected,

00:38:28.520 but we're constantly putting up ego-based resistance or corrosion to the connection. When we hold open a

00:38:35.140 door, we're cleaning the connection. When we pick up a piece of trash, we're cleaning the connection.

00:38:40.480 When we put a grocery cart back into its place instead of leaving it up on the curb, we're

00:38:45.480 doing those things. When we smile at people, hug at people, wave at people, when we are grateful and

00:38:51.160 say thank you, we are cleaning the connection that inspires us. We can live a happier, more inspired,

00:38:57.660 productive, and accessible life simply by understanding we're all connected and we don't want to use these

00:39:02.940 ego-based emotions, energy emotions to corrode that connection. I hope that's a pragmatic enough

00:39:07.800 example.

00:39:09.780 Man, I got to hit the pause button real quick because I want to tell you about a resource that

00:39:13.220 you're going to want to know about. With all that we've had going on over the past couple of months

00:39:17.520 with my move here to Maine and our upcoming event this weekend, you haven't really heard me talk about

00:39:22.840 our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, for a bit now. But it seems to me that most men have

00:39:27.820 lost their ability to band with other like-minded men who are going to push and motivate and inspire

00:39:35.780 these guys and you to do and be more in your life. And that's exactly what we're all about inside of

00:39:41.240 this Iron Council. When you band with us, you're going to get a monthly assignment to keep all of

00:39:45.940 us on track and talking about the same things and pushing harder than we have. This month is hyper

00:39:50.400 focused on physical fitness, which has been a place that I've really wanted to focus on over the

00:39:55.820 course of the last couple of months with everything that we've had going on. But you're

00:39:59.560 also going to get weekly challenges. I think men operate best in competition, in challenges. And

00:40:05.460 so you're going to get these challenges that push you along the way. You're going to get access to

00:40:08.900 the foundry, which is where we communicate and have thousands and thousands of conversations from

00:40:14.200 this month's topic, physical fitness to fatherhood and entrepreneurship and leadership and

00:40:20.080 shooting a bow and getting better at jujitsu and every conversation in between.

00:40:24.520 And then also you're going to get the camaraderie, the camaraderie and the accountability that comes

00:40:29.240 when you band with other like-minded men, high achieving men, men who are pushing, striving,

00:40:34.900 want to do well and want you to do well. So if you're interested, you want to learn more and

00:40:39.520 ultimately lock in your seat at the table, head to orderofman.com slash iron council. Again,

00:40:44.720 that's orderofman.com slash iron council. You can take care of that after the show for now.

00:40:49.520 Let's get back and finish up my conversation with David. It is, it's very pragmatic and I can

00:40:55.380 definitely see myself in that circumstance and definitely times where I've acted in the ego

00:41:00.340 based manner. Like you talk about, I guess I want to take this to the extreme and ask if there's a

00:41:06.820 time where you feel this thought process might be naive or overly innocent and then potentially

00:41:13.980 expose yourself to threat or danger. You know, it's interesting you say that because I believe

00:41:20.380 that, you know, people can only be aware of that which vibrates equal to or less than them.

00:41:26.000 And so understanding the environment that you're in and which level to explain and articulate and

00:41:33.760 transcode the higher vibration down to something that people can understand. I don't think that a

00:41:39.340 truth-based consciousness could put you into harm's way if you are understanding the levels of

00:41:44.920 vibration or understanding that people are with. So if I'm, for example, talking about a pragmatic

00:41:50.000 example of damaging, if I'm speaking to an elementary school, in no way would I describe anything like

00:41:56.560 this because I would damage my brand. I'd damage my reputation. No elementary school in the world

00:42:02.020 would let me back in. So what I need to do is understand and align with the situation pragmatically

00:42:07.800 and say, look, I know what I'm talking about is true for me. But if nobody hears it, what good is

00:42:13.620 it? And if nobody listens, so what message would, you know, a six-year-old or a seven-year-old understand

00:42:18.820 that could set them on a trajectory of what I'm talking about? Well, maybe I'm just going to talk

00:42:23.280 about kindness and I'm going to talk about being nice to your friends is better than attacking them

00:42:29.600 and being forgiving of your friends. They're just saying thank you, right? These are easy things

00:42:34.260 and they're lessons that we learn. And the greatest thing about lessons is I always articulate to

00:42:39.700 people no matter what the lessons are going to keep on coming, the same lessons will keep on coming

00:42:44.180 until you learn them. The way we indicate whether we learn them or not is if there's pain still

00:42:48.020 attached to the lesson. We haven't learned it yet. But the coolest thing about lessons is everybody's

00:42:52.100 going to forget every lesson they've ever learned at one time or another, including me,

00:42:56.140 because I've actually forgotten lessons that I know while I'm on stage teaching the lessons

00:43:00.220 because I'm in some sort of anxiety or fear-based consciousness and I'm teaching people not to be

00:43:05.140 in that fear-based or I'm in the ego-based consciousness because I can't help myself and

00:43:08.920 I'm believing that people think too highly of me or too lowly of me, right? There's all types of

00:43:13.700 circumstances. But in the end, I have a true conscious knowing that I am simply on the pursuit

00:43:20.040 of my potential and that pursuit, my pragmatic way of looking at it is, am I leaving everything

00:43:26.580 better than I found it? Am I kind to my future self? Am I trying my hardest? Can I get better

00:43:32.400 every day? I don't want to be better than anyone else. I just want to be better than I was yesterday.

00:43:39.240 This makes sense in your example because as I'm hearing you talk about this, you may change your

00:43:44.720 messaging, for example, in that specific circumstance, but you're also doing it and still doing it from a

00:43:50.060 position of service to other people, right? If you talk about these concepts in some hard to

00:43:55.180 understand way for a, for a kindergartner, then you're not really serving those that you're working

00:44:00.480 to serve, right? So you change your delivery based on how you want to serve them.

00:44:05.520 Yeah. And you're, and you're absolutely, you're, you're harming your position. If you're not

00:44:09.160 articulating in a vibration that somebody can understand, then you're actually discrediting

00:44:13.860 yourself. And although you may have great ideas and be able to inspire and empower them,

00:44:18.660 they're going to turn you off. I'll give you another classic example of that. I used to talk

00:44:22.680 when I first started speaking around the world, I thought by building up my situation of how rich I

00:44:29.760 was and how young I was and all the hard, right? That people then when I said, Oh, that I have this

00:44:35.440 whole dramatic impact on them. And I say, and I'm the biggest idiot in the world. And I lost it all

00:44:40.620 because I didn't live within, you know, taking stake with who I was and what I want to become. I didn't

00:44:45.620 live within the truth consciousness. I didn't live, you know, to my best self. And I surrounded

00:44:51.300 myself with the wrong people and the wrong ideas. And I did everything to manipulate, oversell and

00:44:55.820 back and sell and lie to people. Well, what I learned was talk about this lesson is I learned

00:45:01.760 that by the time I got to the impactful side, that most people were so turned off by me describing my

00:45:08.680 ego based self that they turned me off and I would get literally responses from people going, what a

00:45:16.000 horrible speech. The guy's an egomaniac. I can't believe like he, you know, because they literally

00:45:22.060 turned me off and never heard the punchline. You know what I mean? It's just like telling a joke and

00:45:27.520 the setup is way too long. So nobody knows you're joking. They just think you're stupid, right?

00:45:32.960 How do you become aware of that? Because it could be so many variables that would go into that.

00:45:37.580 How do you become aware that, oh, it's my ego. That's the problem. That's what's getting in the

00:45:42.420 way. Lessons, right? That's what's so beautiful about perspective is that, look, I am still learning

00:45:48.480 lessons. I am radically humbled knowing that I'm on my journey. I try to illuminate all of the truths

00:45:54.400 in my life so that other people can feel comfortable being themselves. But you can ask anybody you meet

00:46:00.080 all day long and say, hey, man, have you ever made a mistake? They'll say, yeah. Ask them, hey,

00:46:05.380 no matter what time it is. Have you made a mistake today? They'll say, yeah. Then ask them,

00:46:10.300 you know, why do we waste so much time, energy, emotion, resources, and friendships because other

00:46:14.500 people have made mistakes, let alone the same mistakes that we make. Think about it. It happens

00:46:20.080 all the time. Look, I hated my father until I realized the reason I hated my father was all

00:46:24.700 the reasons I hated myself. Right? Extraordinary lesson.

00:46:30.620 I mean, let's break that down a little bit. Is that really the case and just loving yourself

00:46:37.260 just overcomes times where you need to forgive your father, for example? I mean, is it that simple

00:46:44.440 or are there really things that are external of who you are and what you're doing that would cause that

00:46:48.760 resentment? Oh, there's absolutely both internal and external circumstances that will cause that

00:46:54.960 resentment. But the resentment is yours to own fully, right? Everything exists inside of you and

00:47:00.720 you have a choice whether to forgive or to continue to increase the negative energy corrosion of the

00:47:07.380 connection to that which inspires you. Put faith in what you don't want by not forgiving, right?

00:47:13.040 Resentment is an ego-based because there's no reason to resent anyone or offend anyone. Once you've learned

00:47:16.880 the lesson, then you've gotten them, turned the mistake into a miracle and you've gotten the value

00:47:21.640 out of it, you should be grateful and you should forgive. Yeah, that's actually one of the things I

00:47:26.280 had written down here because you said that as you said, there will no longer be any pain once you

00:47:31.120 entirely learned the lesson. But I think even going back when you reflect upon those things,

00:47:37.080 they sting. And I also believe that there's value in having a little bit of that pain or that

00:47:43.060 discomfort and it may keep you from making poor decisions in the future.

00:47:49.020 I disagree. And you're welcome to that opinion. I think that the pain is necessary in order to

00:47:54.060 learn the lesson. I believe that if you touch an oven, you know, a grill and you burn yourself,

00:47:59.420 that pain goes away, right? Correct? Sure. Yeah, absolutely.

00:48:04.880 But you're not going to put your hand in the fire again, are you?

00:48:07.000 Yeah, of course. Because you remember the pain.

00:48:10.540 Right. So you remember the pain, but you've learned the lesson.

00:48:14.400 Sure.

00:48:14.840 So you can forgive yourself, learn the lesson. But the difference between what you and I are saying,

00:48:20.400 and I think you would agree, is that I think it's okay to remember the pain so you remember the

00:48:25.740 lesson. Okay? This is the pain, here's the cure, right? Fire burns your skin. The lesson is don't put

00:48:34.220 skin into fire, right? Sure, sure.

00:48:37.660 And if you see fire, you remember the lesson. You don't remember, you remember the pain as part of

00:48:43.040 the lesson that if I put skin in fire, it will hurt. But what you don't do is sit there. And this is

00:48:49.460 what people do. And I think Ryan is a very big distinction between what you're trying to portray

00:48:53.620 and not, is that what most people do is, oh my God, my hand still hurts and it's 10 years later.

00:49:00.460 Right.

00:49:01.100 Oh, I can't live on because the hurt is so bad. I'm a victim. I hurt my hand when I was five years old.

00:49:09.200 So maybe in this context, you just haven't, and I think we're closer than maybe we believe we are,

00:49:15.220 but it might just be semantics. Yeah. But I think what you're saying is maybe you just haven't,

00:49:21.080 you're still experiencing pain because you haven't treated the wound, whether it's a burn from the

00:49:24.940 stove or whether it's some infliction caused to you by your parents or some other thing.

00:49:31.660 Correct. You haven't learned a lesson. Yeah.

00:49:33.440 When you fully learn, as a classic example, I had a neighbor that committed fraud on me and it

00:49:38.500 became an ego-based thing. I lost millions and millions of dollars and created all kinds of

00:49:42.800 problem, ego-based problems for myself. And I literally went on a journey to forgive him.

00:49:47.160 And my wife, who still would admit, hasn't forgiven him. It's taken me about nine years

00:49:52.160 to get rid of the pain, right? The pain of all the stuff that he did to me and my family,

00:49:58.440 all the things intentionally that he did to me and my family, all that. But literally there became a

00:50:03.320 point after nine years that I took accountability. I forgave myself. I learned the lessons of how it

00:50:09.980 happened, which then allowed me to let go of the pain, but not to act in that manner again and truly

00:50:16.700 forgive him. In fact, I went up to him in a tailgate a couple of years ago when I said,

00:50:21.300 Hey, I'd like to thank you. Uh, because I've never learned more than working with you and what

00:50:26.040 had happened. And I just want to let you know, thank you. And I forgive myself for allowing that

00:50:31.100 to happen. And he was like way taken off. I had no clue what I was talking about. He actually thought

00:50:35.740 I was coming up to hit him. Um, uh, but I wasn't. And literally here's the funny thing because we go

00:50:41.720 through this process, uh, in our life is I used to lie to myself. I would tell people four years

00:50:47.220 into my healing, four years into figuring out the lesson. I used to tell people, Oh man, my bankruptcy

00:50:52.440 is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm so grateful for this guy because it would never

00:50:57.180 would have happened. I never have this extraordinary life I live now, but for what he did to me. And

00:51:02.520 meanwhile, I go home and dream about pulling out his fingernails and putting Tabasco on,

00:51:06.740 you know, there and causing him extreme pain. All that's gone because all that was doing was

00:51:12.660 attracting more of that to me. All it was doing was depreciation of my energy by corroding the

00:51:18.120 connection to that, which inspires me. But now I live at peace with him and he does not steal my joy.

00:51:24.880 He does not corrode my connection to inspiration. So many times in our lives, we let other people

00:51:30.660 steal our joy, corroding our connection to that, which inspires us because we haven't learned the

00:51:35.920 lesson. And that lesson a lot of times is either gratitude, forgiveness or accountability or the

00:51:40.580 combination thereof that allows us to clean that connection. I like that you're talking about this

00:51:46.620 because you might be saying words and trying to convince yourself, but not fully believe it because

00:51:54.080 sometimes it all sounds like bullshit, especially on social media. You know, I see a lot of people

00:51:58.340 say inspirational things and all these woo woo stuff. And it's like, who are you trying to convince

00:52:03.580 like me or yourself? And you know, when they're out of integrity with what they're saying,

00:52:07.820 yeah, with what they're saying and what they're actually doing. Right. So I'm glad that you're

00:52:11.940 talking about true forgiveness versus just paying it lip service, which obviously there's a huge

00:52:18.520 difference between the two. Yeah. But what we think, say and do start attributing to what we believe

00:52:25.040 and that starts shifting our energy. And it is a process. It's the right path. People are projecting

00:52:29.480 that the people that I have the biggest problem with on social media are those that don't think

00:52:34.380 they do or believe what they're saying, thinking and doing that they're actually doing. It's

00:52:37.960 manipulate people to monetize them. Yeah. Right. So, you know, hey, game time decision making. I'm

00:52:43.720 going to give everybody my book for free if you pay for shipping. You know, meanwhile, my book costs

00:52:48.060 71 cents to print and $2 to ship, but I'm making $7 a book. You know, that's why like on my previous

00:52:55.540 books, I gave them all the way for free. Now this, because I self published them, I was able to do

00:52:59.500 that. Right. This is a published book by McGraw Hill, but still I told them specifically, you need

00:53:05.540 to tell people what the value is and buy that book for the value that it is, because I've never really

00:53:11.000 sold a book before. The irony is Ryan, the truth and the faith of the universe is last year I gave

00:53:16.500 away more of my first book than I ever did. My book was, you know, first printed in 2004. So here we are

00:53:22.860 in two, I'm sorry, 2014. Sorry, not that long ago, 2004. Um, but here I am, I gave away more books

00:53:30.120 this year than it ever had sold, but I sold five times as many books that I ever have because I

00:53:36.260 gave it away and never asked for anything. Right. Literally because people handed off like, this is

00:53:40.980 the best book I've read. I'm going to go buy it. Or they refuse to take it for free for the value that

00:53:45.900 it had. These are types of shifts in beliefs when you truly are focused in on productivity or value

00:53:51.580 and understand appreciation. Uh, you know, it's interesting even to, we were talking about

00:53:56.700 faking it before you make it. I love doing the audio book, uh, for my written because I love to

00:54:03.440 see the evolution. There's many parts of my book that I personally don't think, uh, accurately represent

00:54:09.920 what I believe today. I think I've evolved far beyond the ideas. I think some of them are rudimentary.

00:54:15.320 I think a couple of them may be even wrong that they create resistance and, you know, but that was my

00:54:20.820 state of mind when I wrote it. And I, you know, like to be an illuminate to everyone. Hey, that

00:54:25.960 was the best ideas that I had to help people. Uh, when I wrote it at the time, I got better ideas

00:54:31.360 now. I got better ideas now, which is why I'll write another book. Which should, you know, what's

00:54:36.040 funny is because I hear a lot of people that will push back on that saying you're, you know, you're

00:54:39.540 being wishy-washy or, or you've changed. It's like, is that's the point. The point is that we all evolve

00:54:45.060 and grow and our thoughts are more, uh, they're deeper, they're more complex or they've changed

00:54:50.140 altogether because we have new experiences to draw our ideas from. I, I, I'm in my brother,

00:54:57.080 because honestly, I actually evaluate my personal values, experiential values, giving values and

00:55:04.380 receiving values every day. I don't believe daily that we should have balance in our life. Like I

00:55:09.460 believe daily I should meet the objective according to the values that I have for that day. So some days

00:55:14.260 are all about me. Some days are all about other people. Some days are a part about experience,

00:55:21.340 part about giving, part about receiving, part about me. But I think it's important to set and look and

00:55:27.200 study our calendars of what activities we're doing a person on the phone via email and media and say to

00:55:32.460 ourselves, how can I be most productive and accessible according to my values for the day? You know,

00:55:37.640 if I have a whole bunch of, you know, let me take yesterday, if I'm flying all around and I'm supposed

00:55:42.180 to go to a baseball game and have a good time and go to Marcus Allen's house and all this cool

00:55:46.380 stuff. Well, if I'm trying to keep my day balanced, that's not going to work according to the activities

00:55:51.600 that I have. Right. I need to focus in on my experiential values, my personal values,

00:55:56.740 my receiving values, but I really wasn't giving too much. You know what I mean?

00:56:01.420 Sure. Sure.

00:56:02.320 So it's, but I do, I think people have an unrealistic and this will sound funny coming

00:56:07.940 from the utopic theoretical Dave Meltzer, the woo-woo Judah Buddha that's on the phone with

00:56:12.720 everyone. But like, like literally I'm the most pragmatic person I know. Like I truly believe in

00:56:18.800 math and I believe in quantitative analysis. And I just believe that an important component of that

00:56:23.720 is inspiration. And in order to get inspired, you have to understand spirit in spirit. And in order

00:56:30.520 to understand spirit, we have to understand something that we can't consciously see that

00:56:34.600 doesn't look pragmatic. So I try to apply as many pragmatic principles, math and stories to that,

00:56:40.620 which we really don't see. Well, I think it's all connected and I think it all supports each other.

00:56:45.180 I don't think they're at odds with each other. Absolutely. I'm glad that you used to do that at

00:56:49.680 least. One of the things that you, one term you've used quite a bit in the conversation is vibration.

00:56:54.380 We have to be on, on this vibration. I'd like you to define and clarify that for me if you would.

00:56:58.780 So vibration is a frequency and frequency has three components. This is true in a mathematical

00:57:05.360 sense. One is the strength of your signal. So if you use in terms of a radio antenna and a radio

00:57:12.800 transmitter, right, we have the strength of the signal. So your vibration in a higher vibration

00:57:18.800 will have a stronger frequency or a stronger pull or push. Then you have spectrum. So every vibration

00:57:26.620 can provide different channels, right? Different channels. So some people that transmit that

00:57:34.040 powerful signal, it only goes to one station. Others can go to 50 stations and that's true.

00:57:40.760 And then finally, this, the clarity of the signal, right? So it's not what I say, it's how I say it

00:57:46.880 and what they hear. There is a difference in my vibration or my frequency because I hone in on it.

00:57:52.880 I practice it. I'm aware of it. I learn my lessons of it. But, you know, if I do a keynote speech,

00:57:58.760 an annual meeting at Denny's in front of 7,000 franchisees, and I talk about the easiest way to

00:58:04.940 change your life is simply to say thank you before you go to bed and thank you when you wake up.

00:58:09.520 There's not one person who owns a Denny's franchise, number one, that isn't grateful,

00:58:13.880 but two, that hasn't learned gratitude, right? Somebody in their life has told them,

00:58:17.880 hey, you should say thank you or be thankful. Right. It's not a new concept.

00:58:22.480 No, it's not new at all. Right. It started in Sanskrit. But more importantly, then why is it

00:58:28.420 when I stand on stage for an hour and a half and do a keynote to those 7,000 franchisees that people

00:58:35.140 will wait in line an hour and a half afterwards to tell me one thing, that I changed their life

00:58:40.340 and that they're going to say thank you. They're going to say thank you, you know, before they go

00:58:45.820 to bed and when they wake up. Right. Why would that be? Because of frequency. Right. Because of

00:58:51.100 vibration. And if you hone in on the strength of your signal, the spectrum of your signal and the

00:58:55.400 clarity of your signal, you will not only impact, but you will move more people because they will

00:59:02.200 be aware, meaning they'll say to you, wow, that really resonated with me. Right. In other words,

00:59:07.740 hey, my satellite received your signal, brother, and I liked it. It made me feel good. It empowered

00:59:12.880 me. How do you begin to improve those three components of vibration? So I do it through

00:59:19.000 practice. Right. So practicing, whether you communicate in person, on the phone, via email

00:59:25.000 or media, I practice it and I learn the lessons for it. I still do it in social media because I love,

00:59:30.460 you know, all these BS people out there about, oh, I could be a digital master. You could have more

00:59:34.840 followers. Both Gary Vaynerchuk and I both don't believe in followers, although he has many more

00:59:40.160 than me and it might be easier for him to say. But we think it's a horrible thing to look at. It's

00:59:44.360 how strong is your signal to the people that view you? And, you know, it's really important that I

00:59:49.780 practice, get data and improve on my frequency, my signal, my spectrum, as well as the clarity in

00:59:55.520 which I say. So there's a lot of things and a lot of feedback that's necessary to see

00:59:59.740 the results, the engagement, the attraction, how deeply it resonates with people. How am I

01:00:05.320 impacting them? And luckily we have so many different mediums in which we communicate that

01:00:10.300 the feedback is extraordinary. And so many times I'll put something up there. These digital marketers,

01:00:16.340 you know, they're like, oh, I can go give me a hundred grand a month. You know, 20% goes to me.

01:00:20.820 I'll triple this and this. The truth is this. I put everything up there and watch to see what

01:00:25.820 resonates, what people think, how clear it is. A lot of times I'll put something up and they don't

01:00:30.880 get what I talk about at all. Well, I'm not going to spend money against that to try to market to

01:00:35.940 people if it doesn't have the right force or signal or spectrum or clarity. And then there's stuff that

01:00:40.600 I kind of put up there. I'm not really sure of. And like, all of a sudden I'll get 1500 people

01:00:45.660 going, oh my God, this changed my life. This is genius. And I'm thinking genius. That's so 10 years

01:00:50.460 ago for me, you know, what do you mean? Be more, you like be more interested than interesting.

01:00:54.600 I was teaching that. Oh, you like to say, thank you. Oh my goodness. I'll put them,

01:00:58.760 but it's true. So I think it's just a matter of lessons. And then we can maximize the opportunity

01:01:04.580 by the lessons that we've learned. And those who can learn quicker, those who can maximize and make

01:01:09.980 the right decisions based off of the lessons that they learned in the truth-based consciousness

01:01:13.540 will really reap more or manifest more, more accurately and more rapidly than anyone else.

01:01:20.880 I don't think you can argue with that. I mean, that makes perfect sense to me. I just think

01:01:24.580 that most people go from activity to activity, to product, to project, to task, to whatever it

01:01:32.080 is they're doing without giving it a second thought as to what lesson they're learning,

01:01:34.980 which is why they find themselves perpetually stuck or in the same place they've always been.

01:01:38.800 They don't have any margin to elevate themselves.

01:01:42.100 Oh man, if you don't have a repository, an arsenal of lessons and stories, you're missing the boat.

01:01:46.840 Every day I'm finding the best as I can, some way to deposit the lessons that I've learned,

01:01:51.980 either from writing books, speaking, coaching, doing my podcast, doing business development

01:01:58.220 meetings, whatever it may be, or things that I come into contact with, my mentors, the podcasts

01:02:03.680 I listen to, the books that I read, the speeches that I go to, the conversations that I have of

01:02:08.220 training my interns and employees to other daily activities within the context of my family,

01:02:13.840 of being a father and a husband and a son, whatever it may be.

01:02:17.620 I'm constantly trying to codify or deposit those lessons because remember one of the

01:02:23.280 basis of everything I know is we are going to forget every lesson that we learned, but

01:02:27.240 I want to make sure that because I have the capability of remembering it, I have a more

01:02:30.940 efficient system of gaining access to that lesson.

01:02:36.060 Well, Dave, this has been very powerful.

01:02:37.820 I will admittedly say it went in a completely different direction than I thought it would,

01:02:42.440 but I also believe that it's very powerful.

01:02:44.240 And then this is a lesson in a conversation that needed to be had.

01:02:47.960 So I really appreciate your insight on it.

01:02:50.720 Thank you.

01:02:51.480 And that's pretty much the norm for Dave Meltzer, going in a different direction than people

01:02:55.820 think.

01:02:56.360 I guess, but I like it.

01:02:57.460 That unexpected nature is a good thing.

01:03:00.260 I do want to ask you a couple of questions as we wind down.

01:03:02.740 The first one is, what does it mean to be a man?

01:03:04.780 I believe man is a subset of human, and I base my focus on what differences do I have

01:03:14.340 in humanity as a man, as a subset of humanity, and what is my responsibility with gratitude,

01:03:20.960 empathy, accountability, and inspiration as a man, a subset of humanity in my place and

01:03:27.240 part of being connected to everything and everyone and recognizing that the embodiment of a man is

01:03:32.920 different than that of the rest of humanity, and how can I help accelerate all humanity

01:03:37.820 with the aspects of the biochemistry, the biology, the embodiment of being a man?

01:03:44.680 How can I be an empowerment to all humanity, not just man?

01:03:49.240 I like that.

01:03:51.180 I like that a lot.

01:03:52.140 I like how you're talking about being a subset of humanity and using your biological gifts,

01:03:58.980 blessings, whatever you want to call them, evolution, to lift everybody up.

01:04:03.200 That's excellent.

01:04:04.860 Well, Dave, how do we connect with you?

01:04:06.080 How do we learn more about what you're up to?

01:04:07.900 And of course, pick up a copy of the book, Game Time Decision Making.

01:04:12.320 Yeah.

01:04:12.640 So if you remember the name David Meltzer, you can reach me.

01:04:16.460 So Google it, at David Meltzer, David Meltzer on YouTube, LinkedIn.

01:04:21.180 My website, though, is my first initial last name.

01:04:23.880 You make it easier on people.

01:04:25.160 So you take David Meltzer and you just make it dmeltzer.com.

01:04:28.920 The Game Time Decision Making is available all over.

01:04:32.640 Amazon's the easiest place to get it.

01:04:34.700 I really appreciate anyone who is enjoying that book, and I'm more than happy to sign it

01:04:40.000 any time anyone wants to see me, ship it to me, et cetera.

01:04:43.160 I'd love any feedback or support that people could give so that we can share these empowering

01:04:48.040 ideas to help more people be happy.

01:04:50.600 Right on.

01:04:50.840 We'll sync it all up so the guys know where to go.

01:04:52.620 Dave, I appreciate you.

01:04:54.060 Honored to have you on.

01:04:55.180 Very, very fascinating discussion and one that I was glad to have with you.

01:04:59.880 Thanks again.

01:05:01.340 All right.

01:05:02.580 I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass, my brother.

01:05:04.940 You are an excellent interviewer, and I really appreciate someone that gets and clarifies

01:05:09.180 and expands on my own thought process.

01:05:11.600 So thank you so much for doing such an extraordinary job.

01:05:15.800 Gents, there you go.

01:05:16.620 My conversation with the one and only David Meltzer.

01:05:18.920 As I had mentioned before, deep, deep thinker.

01:05:21.860 I had to dive deep into what information he had to share because it was fascinating, and

01:05:28.120 I really wanted to make sure that I wrapped my head around it.

01:05:30.640 Because I think when we go deep to the foundation like we talked about today, ultimately that's

01:05:35.040 going to drive us to make better decisions.

01:05:36.680 It's in our family, the walls of our home, the walls of our business, inside of our communities

01:05:40.360 and neighborhoods and everywhere else we're trying to show up.

01:05:43.380 I talk about it quite a bit, obviously, that men are protectors, providers, and presiders.

01:05:47.900 We're leading, and in order to lead, we have to be able to make better decisions, and hopefully

01:05:52.800 this conversation will lead to you making better decisions and choices in your life.

01:05:58.020 He's also got a great book called Game Time Decision Making.

01:06:00.800 So if you're interested in diving deeper into the subject that we talked about today, make

01:06:04.620 sure you go check it out.

01:06:05.500 Again, Game Time Decision Making.

01:06:07.400 And then last, if you would, two more things, and these are asks, okay?

01:06:11.000 I'm going to ask you for something.

01:06:12.620 Hopefully, I've given you enough value, and if I have, and you've ever received any value

01:06:16.100 from the conversations in the podcast, two things.

01:06:19.320 First, connect with me on Instagram.

01:06:21.480 Making a very, very big push to grow our community over on Instagram and connect with

01:06:27.040 more men who want to hear this message.

01:06:29.060 So I ask that you connect with me there, at Ryan Mickler.

01:06:32.400 My last name is spelled M-I-C-H-L-E-R.

01:06:35.240 So at Ryan Mickler.

01:06:36.340 And then ultimately, one of two things, and or both.

01:06:39.760 Please share this episode with another man who needs to hear it and what we're doing here,

01:06:44.300 and leave us an iTunes rating review.

01:06:46.440 Those two things will go a very, very long way in continuing to grow the movement into

01:06:50.880 what it has the potential to become.

01:06:54.080 So please do that if you would.

01:06:55.900 All right, guys.

01:06:56.440 That's all I've got for you today.

01:06:57.300 I'll be back tomorrow for my Ask Me Anything with our co-host, Kip Sorensen.

01:07:01.480 And then, of course, Friday for our Friday Field Notes.

01:07:04.540 Again, I hope you enjoyed this episode.

01:07:06.420 Connect with me on Instagram.

01:07:07.660 Leave a rating review.

01:07:08.740 Share this.

01:07:09.840 Go out there, guys.

01:07:10.800 Take action.

01:07:11.640 Become the man you are meant to be.

01:07:13.500 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:07:16.420 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:07:20.440 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

01:07:27.300 Thank you for listening to me.

01:07:31.480 I'll be right back.

01:07:34.560 Thank you.

Order of Man - August 06, 2019

Drastically Improve Your Decision-Making ｜ DAVID MELTZER

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