Eliminate Emotional Reaction, Testosterone Replacement Pros and Cons, and Proving Your Worth ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the importance of being courageous in the face of adversity and how to be tactically and emotionally courageous in making decisions that may or may not be a good one. We also discuss the benefits of being a leader who is willing to make unpopular decisions.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Kemp, what's up man? So great to see you. Glad to be back for another Ask Me Anything today.
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Fielding questions, I believe, from the Facebook group that we didn't get to last week, if I understand correctly.
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That's correct. From the Facebook group to join us there, go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man.
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Better place to do it is the Iron Council, because not only are you going to participate in AMAs,
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but all the other discussions and conversations and channels and regional meetups.
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We had Mitch just hosted a hunt this last weekend. Sounds like it went really well.
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I just heard from Johnny Loretty. He and his team have a meetup coming up in the Boston area early next year.
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I believe I think it's May of next year. So these guys are not only getting together digitally and connecting that way with proven systems and results and brotherhood and accountability,
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but they're actually connecting face-to-face, which is our vision. That's what we wanted.
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All right. Dustin McDan, how to be tactically courageous as a leader making unpopular decisions because it is the right thing to do in the moment of that dynamic situation,
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but knowing that in time said decision may or may not work out, kind of like making decisions during the fog of a war concept.
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Yeah. I mean, I don't know if we need to reframe this as some new phenomenon.
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That's life. That's the courageous part. You said tactical. What do you say? Tactically courageous.
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It's just courage. I don't even think we need to say tactical courage. Courage is doing something that may actually put you in harm's way.
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So if there's a fire and you know there's a baby inside and you run in, that may not work out. You may die.
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If there was no risk to it, it wouldn't be courageous.
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So yeah, it may not work out. And I think we just come to terms with that. And we have to calculate if that's a risk we're willing to take.
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If there's a baby in a burning building, I would hope, I don't know because I've never been presented with this situation.
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I would hope I would weigh that very quickly and make the decision to go in and try to rescue that baby.
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If it's a business decision, yeah, you might pour tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars into a project and, you know, didn't work.
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And so if we take the burning building analogy, if I were to get myself an air tank and a respirator and run in there, my likelihood of surviving would increase.
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If I had flame retardant clothing on and I ran in there, my likelihood of surviving would increase.
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If we're talking about a business investment, tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, if I were to hire a coach who's walked other businesses through this criteria, through this scenario, my likelihood of it working would actually be increased.
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That's why we invest in coaches and mentors and resources and training and everything else that we can to make sure that when we do make a courageous choice, we do it with as much stacked in our favor as possible.
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I said something and tip's like, I don't have anything else to add.
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I'm just giving the people what they want to hear.
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And there's value in us not repeating what's already been.
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So Bob Ross, when faced with decisions that can involve emotions like buying or selling a home,
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what skills do you employ to keep emotions out of the equation and make the best possible decisions?
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Usually when we're confronted with something, our first natural inclination is to base our decisions
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So if you can extend the timeframe a little bit, you're more likely to make an informed decision
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because you can sit back and you can see what else is going on.
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You allow your, the other parts of your more developed brain.
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This is scientific, by the way, your more developed brain to take over and to put the
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We have that reptilian brain and the mammalian brain, right?
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The reptilian brain is known for making rash, emotionally-based decisions based on survival.
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And then you have that mammalian brain, which is more logical, more rational.
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But if you look at the evolution of human beings, our reptilian brain is, is the oldest,
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So if you can give yourself some time, I think that's important.
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We mentioned it in the previous question with regards to resources.
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If I'm selling a house, for example, Kip, and I trust you and you have some credibility
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in the department and I call you up and I'm like, Hey man, here's the deal.
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I'm thinking about selling this home and here's the rate and here's what I'm doing.
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You as an individual are not emotionally vested in my decision-making process.
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Now you're a friend, sure, or a colleague or a coworker or a coach.
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So there's a little bit of vesting, but not nearly to the same degree that I have.
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This is why when you're having relationship issues, you can go to your friend and say,
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And he knows because he's not emotionally vested in your decision-making process.
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Why is it so clear for us to see somebody struggling and say, dude, just do A, B, and C.
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So just go find people who are, who are your friends who want the best for you.
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And they're not emotionally tied to your decision-making process and ask them for feedback.
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And, and then listen, even though it might sound like it goes against every fiber of your
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There's only one other thing I would say to this is just listen to intuition.
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I mean, we're talking about this reptilian brain and listen to your intuition.
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If your intuition is telling you this doesn't feel right, this is off, be careful, warning
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It's, you know, you don't need to always have a logical answer for that.
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And, and sometimes just you being intuitively aware of what you're feeling or experiencing,
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even though you can't quite put a finger on it is enough.
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I always feel too, like whenever I've made bad decisions, I feel rushed.
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And, and if I feel pressured, I will just call, I'll call it, I'll go, nope, I'm not going
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And it, cause I know if I just give it time and if it's, if it's the right thing, then I'll
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execute when it's, when it, when I don't feel rushed.
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But if I'm rushed that that's kind of like the, the side I use of like, no, no, no.
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I I'm being maybe too emotional about this, or I'm, I'm being pressured or too excited
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Cause you'll notice that a lot of time, and I don't know the, the logic or the idea around
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this, but sometimes when we make emotional decisions, it's almost like, we got to do
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And it's like, and there's no reason to be rushed.
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And it's because of those emotional feelings we want to execute on.
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I think kicking in Kip is, you know, if you have a quote unquote investment opportunity,
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let's say a friend calls you and is like, Hey, I got this investment opportunity.
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The deal that whoever's presenting you is not as great as they're making out to be.
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This one, if they're rushing you, I had a friend who used to say, if it's a good deal today,
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You know, yeah, you might miss out on some things.
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I went with someone this weekend to a home Depot and she was getting some new hardware
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And, and she went and they had updated the price to the, to reflect the accurate price.
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But a day or two earlier, it was $3 less for each handle.
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So she would have saved about 35% on each one of these handles.
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So what, you know, in the grand scheme of things, it's fine.
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And I only illustrate that point to say, you're going to probably miss on some things, but
00:10:16.640
I've had my testosterone levels checked and it's in below 300s.
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I've heard a lot of people on podcasts say that veterans and first responders are susceptible
00:10:34.800
I do not follow a specific diet, but I stick to the protein and vegetables.
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Also, I don't know how to determine if some of these male clinics are a scam or if they're
00:10:53.120
I haven't even done my, my blood panel work yet.
00:11:06.600
So if you want to know where you're at, the first thing you need to do is go get it measured
00:11:10.040
and you can go to what I would suggest is if you're worried about these male type clinics
00:11:14.960
that promote this testosterone stuff, just go to independent, independent resource.
00:11:21.500
Now that's where I get my testosterone checked.
00:11:26.160
Um, I get the results in a day or two and it's, they're not tied to it.
00:11:30.500
They're not making money off of selling me testosterone.
00:11:37.960
I, I, cause I, I had my blood drawn, uh, last week, got the results, uh, this, this
00:11:43.800
morning, Monday morning, sent them off to Johnny Loretty.
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I said, Johnny, tell me what you think of this.
00:11:48.840
And my testosterone, when I started this about a year or so ago, roughly, it was down in
00:11:55.820
the low, in the mid two fifties, which is significantly deplenished, uh, depleted.
00:12:00.540
It's, it's, it's, it's not where it needs to be.
00:12:02.700
Um, so what I would suggest to you first and foremost is before you start doing testosterone
00:12:08.480
injections, uh, I would really look at ways that you can boost testosterone naturally.
00:12:13.740
And I'm not saying this will always yield the results, but there's some things that you
00:12:21.940
There's so many, uh, preservatives and androgen blockers in not only what you're consuming,
00:12:26.860
the plastics and the hormones and the bullshit that you're eating, but also the soaps that
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you're putting on your body, uh, the plastics that you're consuming through, if you pour water
00:12:36.260
into a plastic water bottle, the, the androgen blockers that are in, in the plastics, you're
00:12:42.760
So that's not going to allow, and I'm not an expert on this, but the way I understand
00:12:46.540
it is that testosterone to bind to your cells, to allow your body to process it correctly.
00:12:51.940
So those are called androgen blockers or disruptors as I've heard both terms.
00:12:56.300
Um, so diet, exercise, uh, nutrition, sleep, uh, un unnecessary and high levels of stress,
00:13:08.100
because then that increases your cortisol levels, which reduces testosterone development,
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um, sex competition, all the things that we talked about in the testosterone booster
00:13:18.260
t-shirt that everybody wants their minds about.
00:13:20.520
That's all I made this shirt and it was like, Oh, I can't believe I'm like, that's just
00:13:26.280
I just said it in a way that pisses you off, but that's scientifically proven to be the
00:13:31.160
So we called it our T booster and it was like, eat me, compete, lift heavy things, sleep,
00:13:49.840
So do that, uh, for a period of time, you can't do it for a week and think that everything's
00:13:54.380
going to improve, but really consider your, your lifestyle, go to a third party place,
00:14:01.940
I'm sure there's another, another place you can go to.
00:14:05.300
Uh, and then I wouldn't necessarily, I mean, yeah, you can talk with your physician, but
00:14:10.120
I don't really know that your physician's the best place for this, but I would ask around
00:14:16.740
I have a place here in Southern Utah that I go to highly recommended.
00:14:20.760
A couple of my other friends have used this specific doctor.
00:14:24.060
Uh, and I've been happy with those results, uh, in, in a period of six months, it went
00:14:27.720
from two 50 up to gosh, seven, seven 50, seven 20, somewhere right in there.
00:14:33.740
And where should you be at typically around seven?
00:14:38.400
I think it goes up to 1100 if I understand correctly, but 800, 1100, I mean, age just,
00:14:46.940
But, but if you look at testosterone rates for men today versus men 50 years ago for calculated
00:14:53.100
for age, there's drastically reduced, totally drastically reduced.
00:14:57.860
And that has to do with our lifestyle and the things that we're diets and all kinds of
00:15:02.580
Sedentary lifestyles, all of this sort of thing.
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If you don't mind me adding to your recommendations of like natural sources, the reason why just
00:15:14.620
think through that, give the list of all the natural things you can do and then ask yourself
00:15:19.700
whether your testosterone increased or not, would it be beneficial for you to be doing
00:15:29.720
And, and that's, we rob ourselves whenever we take a shortcut, we rob ourselves from
00:15:37.280
And there's, there's value in the hardship of, wait, hold on, Ryan, you may get some good
00:15:43.200
sleep and work out and do, geez, that's too much.
00:15:48.040
It's like, dude, you're robbing yourself from the chance of, of leveling up in a very serious
00:15:55.380
And, and then if they're not working, then pivot.
00:15:58.380
And also if you're taking testosterone supplementation, it's only going to be enhanced by you working
00:16:04.740
out, by you sleeping, by you competing, by you doing all the things that we talk about.
00:16:08.780
So if you're going to, that's what you'll hear a lot of guys, you'll see rip guys and
00:16:12.560
people say, well, you're on, you're on testosterone, bro.
00:16:16.640
If all it was is testosterone, then every man on the planet would take it.
00:16:21.480
And we'd all, yeah, they're still working out and putting in the reps.
00:16:25.680
So don't tell me that if I could sell you a pill and you'd have six pack abs in the next
00:16:35.360
You're what you're doing is you're complaining that somebody put in the work and you're
00:16:41.600
discounting it because they're taking testosterone.
00:16:44.140
Like that's the thing that put them over the edge.
00:16:46.980
And if you think about it, most of those guys are, they're, they're excusing something,
00:16:52.940
They're like, well, you know, it's that it's, it's can't be all this hard work that you're
00:16:59.280
So there's one other thing to be aware of with testosterone.
00:17:01.940
There's research that suggests that if you begin to take testosterone, your body's ability
00:17:12.720
I've heard the same talk with somebody, but your body's ability to naturally produce
00:17:17.720
the testosterone levels that your body needs will become diminished.
00:17:21.500
And in some cases never actually begin to work again.
00:17:27.540
Like if you're going to do it, you're, you're in the game.
00:17:33.080
And I totally get Dirk's question because like some of the guys I know that are on
00:17:39.020
TRT, I swear, like the, the, the guy that's hooking them up, it's almost like they're,
00:17:48.560
They're, they're not like looking at the full paddle and discussing all these things.
00:18:01.640
So here's what I would say is again, use a third party for testing, use a reputable clinician.
00:18:09.920
If you're ordering it from, from Mexico overseas, that's a red flag.
00:18:19.360
My doctor calls in a prescription and they, yeah.
00:18:23.380
And they, yeah, we're going to vet horse tranquilizers.
00:18:32.280
And then my pharmacist who's licensed and reputable and credible gives me the prescription.
00:18:39.060
Like there's, I'm not buying it from Canada or China or something.
00:18:47.740
Obviously you already said like, you know, talk to your physician.
00:18:50.560
Um, what, any, any, any side effects that you've experienced?
00:18:54.440
Like, cause I've, I've, I've gotten a handful from guys and I'm curious if you're, uh, if
00:19:00.780
I, I, I, when I started taking it a while ago, I did my, my emotions.
00:19:09.380
It felt like, I felt like I was more emotional than I had been in the past.
00:19:13.240
I was like, wait, I thought this was supposed to help me be a man, like not be more emotionally
00:19:19.540
Uh, and I think a lot of that had to do with, I was take doing testosterone, but I wasn't
00:19:30.420
So mood, moodiness, I think was, was something I dealt with.
00:19:33.660
Um, libido obviously goes up, you know, sex drive.
00:19:37.960
Um, I think for me, and I don't even consider this a side effect necessarily, but like, I
00:19:54.820
I want to, like, I don't want to be like, live the sedentary lifestyle.
00:20:09.680
Adam Beachy, how do you grow a small side business from 12 K in revenue to 50 K?
00:20:17.680
I run a 3d printing business selling items on Etsy, and I want to expand off onto my own
00:20:24.160
I also wanted to get my foot in the door at manufacturing companies to work with them.
00:20:28.880
Any advice on how to reach out and start that relationship?
00:20:32.180
I mean, really to grow your revenue, you can only do one of two things.
00:20:35.120
You can increase your prices for current customers, or you can pick up new customers at your current
00:20:43.900
So what I would suggest at this point, and we'll talk about the manufacturing relationships,
00:20:47.920
but what I would suggest at this point is the first thing you said is Etsy.
00:20:58.120
Where I am is Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook and YouTube.
00:21:02.720
And if you're doing 3d printing, I think something that's heavily visually driven, like Instagram
00:21:11.200
And if you can learn to use, yeah, if you can learn to use Instagram in an effective and
00:21:15.180
powerful way, I think that's going to help you just exponentially increase your business.
00:21:20.760
I'll sit on Facebook sometimes and I'll watch, it was funny.
00:21:24.320
I was watching a, I think it's called bourbon moth woodworking or something, bourbon moth
00:21:33.260
He makes this beautiful furniture and shelving.
00:21:36.720
And yesterday he was upgrading his, the video I watched anyways, was him upgrading his table
00:21:43.320
And he made this like beautifully like wood inlay.
00:21:48.060
And the way that he edited the video was compelling.
00:21:57.900
I'm like, I want to do this myself or I want to hire this guy to build something for me.
00:22:04.460
So what I would suggest, I don't know what you're printing, but I would suggest going
00:22:20.800
Most people I know, it's like a, it's almost like goofy stuff just to be fun.
00:22:28.400
So I've got a sheep skull right up here on my, on my, uh, my safe over here across from
00:22:34.160
And I went to a Western hunting expo that I go to every year in Utah.
00:22:41.360
And there was a booth there and the guy will take yours, a skull of an animal that you shot
00:22:48.000
and then he'll, he'll scan it, however he scans it.
00:22:52.620
And then he'll 3d print it in a different size.
00:22:55.820
So he'll shrink it down to one, six size or whatever.
00:23:00.580
The reason that I bring this guy up is he's printing animal skulls and he's at the hunting
00:23:07.440
Like imagine him being at the craft, the, the, the knitting women of, you know, America
00:23:15.240
and he's showing these women 3d skulls that he's like, it doesn't make sense.
00:23:23.180
We go online and we're like, Oh yeah, I'm printing these 3d printing for everybody.
00:23:29.260
There's a very select few people who care about it.
00:23:31.920
And that select few is a big enough pool that you could actually make a very, very lucrative
00:23:36.440
business from, but you have to go exactly where that is and talk exactly to those people.
00:23:41.760
To your point, if you go out and you talk to everybody, nobody, nobody cares.
00:23:46.460
So a great example of that is what we're doing here.
00:23:49.680
I'll post something online and somebody, a woman will come in and say, well, this applies
00:23:53.920
Well, of course, like we're talking about principles that apply broadly to men and women.
00:23:58.880
There are some things that we talk about that are exclusively reserved for men, but for
00:24:02.500
the most part, like what we talk about also applies to women.
00:24:07.580
And some people say, well, but you're excluding half the population.
00:24:12.400
Because I want to make sure that I, the way that I talk, the way I communicate, the way
00:24:16.640
this podcast studio looks, the words I'm using, the imagery that I'm, that I'm employing
00:24:25.740
And you and I went through and we pulled out some demographical data from income level
00:24:30.620
to occupation, to, uh, how many kids, to marital status, to place they live, the hobbies and
00:24:40.020
And I know that over 50% of the men who listen to this podcast are between the ages of 25 to
00:24:55.800
But my main demographic is 25 to 45 years old, because I know these are the individuals
00:25:02.120
So, which allows you to provide better content and provide a better service.
00:25:10.100
What was the question about manufacturing relationships?
00:25:12.360
Um, so he says, um, I want to get my foot in the door at manufacturing companies to work
00:25:18.940
Any advice on how to reach out and start that relationship?
00:25:26.980
When I was early in this podcasting space, I had another podcast called wealth anatomy,
00:25:31.680
and it was geared towards helping medical professionals with their financial services.
00:25:35.900
And I really wanted to get featured on a financial bloggers website.
00:25:43.500
And I'd been following Jeff for months and I read all of his articles.
00:25:53.400
And I thought it'd be really cool if I wrote an article for Jeff and then I just promoted
00:25:58.700
my podcast because now he's going to take that and he's going to promote that to his
00:26:06.480
So to be clear, you wrote valuable content that he could use and republish for his audience
00:26:17.060
Now, the way that most people will do this is they'll reach out to somebody like Jeff
00:26:21.180
and they'll say, hey, I would like to write an article for your website on X, Y, and Z.
00:26:28.300
What I did is I said, hey, Jeff, I wrote a 1500 word article on X, Y, and Z.
00:26:37.780
And I already wrote it and it's attached to this email and it's catered to your audience.
00:26:44.060
And I remember specifically making a few jokes and little cracks at In-N-Out restaurant because
00:26:52.540
So I put that into the article and I sent it to him and I said, hey, here's the article
00:26:58.880
Hopefully it helps your audience, but also it just gives me a little bit of acknowledgement.
00:27:06.080
And he wrote me back and he's like, Ryan, this is awesome.
00:27:09.640
He's like, of course, I'll publish this tomorrow because it's content for him.
00:27:20.420
I went through, I edited it, I cleaned it all up.
00:27:27.560
I can't tell you how many times people want to write for me, but they don't ever give me
00:27:33.740
And I remember thinking at the time, if Jeff doesn't use this article, I'll just take
00:27:39.160
I'll change out a few jokes, tweak a few words, and I'll take it somewhere else.
00:27:44.420
That's the attitude that we have to have when we're going to present ourselves to certain companies
00:27:50.420
So to bring this full circle, if you're wanting to work with a manufacturer company, the last
00:27:55.040
thing you want to do is go to them and say, let's say you're the manufacturing company
00:27:58.180
Kip, and I come to you, I send you an email or a phone call or a voicemail or even just
00:28:07.220
And now I have to think and serve you and help you figure out how to help me.
00:28:15.580
Imagine I came to you and you sold, let's say, I'm just trying to use our analogy from
00:28:21.680
Let's say as a manufacturing company, you built mounting hardware for taxidermy and skulls.
00:28:28.980
That's what you did as a manufacturing company.
00:28:31.740
And I come to you and I said, hey, Kip, you guys are working with hunters across the planet.
00:28:42.220
But one thing I don't see you have is you don't have any way to actually display how these
00:28:47.880
units would work and what they would actually look like with real mounts on them from
00:28:52.580
Tara, New Zealand to bighorn sheep in the high desert to caribou in Alaska and Canada.
00:29:00.840
And lo and behold, I actually have five skulls here and I bought some of your hardware and
00:29:07.140
I put together a quick promo video so you can actually show people what your hardware does in
00:29:17.400
And by the way, people might act, the hunters who are buying your stuff, they might be interested
00:29:25.520
And if this skull, let's say on average, costs $500, I can give you a 20% kickback on anything
00:29:32.440
that you sell through your website because you're already selling to the hardware.
00:29:35.700
Now we just sell replicas of the skulls or the mounts or the horns or the antlers and
00:29:45.880
That's a different kind of conversation that we're having.
00:29:49.240
We're no longer talking about should we do this?
00:29:57.000
You probably already have metrics and numbers of like how quick could you make these?
00:30:03.260
What the margins could like you just laid it all out and I get a look and go, awesome.
00:30:09.620
Actually, if you could tweak a couple of things, I'm sold, right?
00:30:12.440
Like it's very minimal cycle time for me to evaluate and consider.
00:30:19.560
And if you don't take me up on the offer, I think a lot of people get concerned.
00:30:25.280
Well, that goes back to the tactically courageous thing.
00:30:30.680
You might do a bunch of work and they don't take you up on it.
00:30:33.120
But how many other companies sell mounting hardware for taxidermy?
00:30:45.020
I mean, and it's so, and we see this all the time.
00:30:49.260
I can even think of examples where we want to pitch an idea like, oh, hey, what's this
00:30:58.980
You know, it's like, dude, do the legwork up front.
00:31:03.180
Identify the gaps up front and say, hey, we have a solution.
00:31:11.640
And what's going to happen in that is you might be 80% there.
00:31:17.280
But if you explain a gap to me that you're addressing and you're 80%, I'm like, that's
00:31:29.980
And what I really love about your letter is they tried you out.
00:31:34.440
By you writing that ahead of time, you got vetted.
00:31:42.560
And it's flattering, too, to be honest with you.
00:31:45.160
Like if someone wrote something on your behalf and gave it to you and said, hey, what do you
00:31:51.020
Like you went out of your way and wrote that up for me to consider.
00:31:56.400
Like there's an element of care in there that wouldn't exist otherwise.
00:32:01.980
I'll give you a little secret, a little insight.
00:32:04.480
I'm hesitant to do this because I'm sure somebody will take me up on it.
00:32:07.600
But let's say somebody wanted to be an editor for what we did.
00:32:10.700
Like they wanted to write articles or send emails or whatever.
00:32:19.220
I would love to write a 2,000 word compelling email or article on these seven things like
00:32:28.360
I get these every single day, every single day.
00:32:31.860
You know, if somebody just came to me and said, hey, Ryan, like I'd really like to
00:32:37.720
But in the meantime, I think I can be a value by transcribing all of your video podcasts
00:32:42.640
into a written form and just send you an email every week.
00:32:47.520
And they did that for two weeks or three weeks or a month and they did a good job and I saw
00:32:53.600
And then they came to me and said, hey, has it been valuable?
00:32:57.320
They're like, hey, by the way, I also do articles.
00:32:59.920
Would you be interested in an article per week?
00:33:03.960
Hey, that, you know, my articles now, admittedly, like my articles, because it's a lot more time
00:33:13.720
If we were to go that route, you see what I'm saying?
00:33:19.560
I have one of my oldest employees when I had my own consulting firm, he pinged me on LinkedIn
00:33:34.880
Send me the scope of what needs to be developed.
00:33:38.480
And if you like my work, we can do future work together.
00:33:49.300
Or I have actually had someone take Instagram reels that I've done and then like formatted
00:33:55.960
them to make them look more professional and sent it to me and said, hey, I made this for
00:34:00.800
If you ever need an editor for your social media would love your work.
00:34:05.080
And I'm like, and, and I felt obligated to at least post it and tag him, which is beneficial
00:34:13.980
I'm like, I really don't have need for your services, but like it was a no brainer.
00:34:19.360
I'm like, man, this guy went through a bunch of videos and like did this, you know, this
00:34:35.280
What are some good resources for marketing and advertising for business?
00:34:39.060
I'm starting my business and I have Facebook and an Instagram page, but I don't know how
00:34:47.680
That's not, I can't give you an answer on that.
00:34:49.540
I think you just go hire somebody who does that.
00:34:51.840
Just Google Facebook analytics, watch some YouTube.
00:34:56.960
If that's of interest to you, get your feet under you a little bit, and then maybe start
00:35:02.480
But I don't, I don't have an answer to that because I get some coaching on SEO and all that
00:35:07.320
But if you just Google that, you'll find a resource for sure.
00:35:09.540
But I've heard you say this around provide value, right?
00:35:15.440
But because I do feel like sometimes, look, oh, I got a company Facebook page and I got
00:35:25.300
And I've seen this with you, especially from a podcast perspective, is like provide value.
00:35:31.520
Provide value to people as a strong marketing strategy.
00:35:40.620
But what I would say with a caveat is provide actual value independent of anything else.
00:35:52.620
Sorry if you guys are in the fitness world, but you guys suck at this.
00:36:00.120
If let's say we've got 76,000 guys roughly in our Facebook group and you come in there and
00:36:05.820
you're like, hey guys, like what's the biggest concern you have with your fitness?
00:36:10.620
And then people start commenting and you're like, oh, I gave away a free, I'm giving away
00:36:20.220
Like you're already failing because you're teeing people up and you're being sneaky and you're
00:36:25.600
being manipulative and nobody likes to be manipulated that way.
00:36:29.240
So you either need to be honest, which is, hey guys, I provided a free resource for you.
00:36:35.620
Now, admittedly, it does lead you to my coaching solutions and offerings, but as a standalone
00:36:42.120
product, if you're just interested in dabbling, it's pretty good by itself.
00:36:50.960
And if you're not going to do that, then just say, hey guys, here's 10 fitness tips
00:36:55.420
Don't say like, so call me, so DM me, so download my free guide.
00:37:04.560
And then if you do that enough and you offer real value just for the sake of offering value,
00:37:12.500
I would go into other Facebook groups and I never posted about Order of Man, not only because
00:37:17.180
I'm not going to take a dump in somebody else's house, but because I knew it didn't work.
00:37:22.200
So I'd go into the other Facebook groups and I would see guys asking questions about
00:37:26.040
topics that pertain to men and I would just answer them with my perspective.
00:37:37.480
No, just go in there and provide value purely because you want to be valuable and then just
00:37:53.480
My 100% objective on a call is just to help them in the short amount of window of time
00:38:04.760
And trust me, I've had many sales reps go, dude, dude, you're giving away our trade secrets.
00:38:09.180
And I'm like, this is all about building trust.
00:38:13.340
I have 45 minutes with this client to illustrate how smart we are, what we do.
00:38:18.920
And if they walk away 45 minutes, like, man, that was highly effective.
00:38:25.440
But now they know that we know what we're talking about.
00:38:28.340
And now when they need our help, our expertise and trust has been established.
00:38:34.900
That's what you're doing when you give out that kind of free content.
00:38:38.000
And yeah, yeah, I had a, I'm going to be very careful in the way that I say this, because
00:38:42.720
I know I'm not trying to throw anybody under the bus, but I had somebody reach out a year
00:38:47.440
ago when I was going through like the depths of my divorce and they reached out and they
00:38:54.320
I'm like, man, truth be told, I'm really struggling.
00:38:56.360
Like going through this shit right now and it's been hard and, man, I just feel lost
00:39:01.420
and I'm just struggling and I'll never forget their answer.
00:39:05.320
It was, Hey, if it, if it would be helpful for me to do a free training for your guys,
00:39:24.280
Like just be valuable in the moment, like read the room, be aware, offer value just
00:39:34.280
And then know if you do that enough, things will, things will work out.
00:39:37.400
And, and ill intent or question intent has a taste.
00:39:45.720
So everyone listening are like, yeah, but they're not like as good as I am.
00:39:52.300
Like, yeah, even if it's, yeah, you don't want to deal with people that way.
00:39:59.220
It's almost erodes trust if someone's questioning your intent.
00:40:03.460
And if you are doing the hard sell, then say, Hey, here's a hard sell.
00:40:07.740
And, and Alisa, then I'll respect you for being so damn straightforward.
00:40:12.940
So yeah, don't beat around the bush and that stuff.
00:40:18.700
Just wanted to say, thank you for your message and consistency.
00:40:21.240
Once again, the principles you've laid out have become the foundation of my life.
00:40:26.700
And I show up for my wife, my daughter, my business, and my community.
00:40:36.380
So we're helping you or any, any other guy, like, man, I feel good about that.
00:40:49.900
How would you recommend getting over the mindset of always trying to prove yourself
00:40:56.600
I feel like I, I always have to be pushing my absolute best and I don't allow myself to
00:41:02.420
I grew up in a household that always shut me down and told me I wasn't enough.
00:41:13.240
I didn't, I didn't grow up in a house like that to be, to be straight on that.
00:41:16.840
Like I, I never had that of like this high expectation or demands of perfection or anything
00:41:21.780
My mom was very, uh, understanding and empathetic and nurturing, loving.
00:41:28.040
And she expected me to, to make good decisions, to make good choices and to live a good life.
00:41:33.340
But as far as the expectation of a certain performance, or I had to validate her love
00:41:37.760
through my efforts, it was never anything like that.
00:41:40.900
Um, I don't know where I adopted that mentality of, of deriving my sense of worth from the value
00:41:48.040
But I also believe that, and although I do find it difficult at times, I believe that
00:41:54.420
we are intrinsically valuable as, as human beings.
00:42:01.200
I know that to be true, but I still wrestle with it because when I show up to do this
00:42:07.840
When I show up in a, in a romantic relationship, I want to be valuable.
00:42:12.160
If I show up in my kids' lives, I want to be valuable.
00:42:18.760
You know, that's something to consider is that if you're, if you're always wanting to
00:42:22.720
be valuable to other people, then maybe you're doing it not for their own benefit, but for
00:42:27.260
yours, because you derive some sorts of satisfaction from it.
00:42:43.840
Here's a, here's a, here's something to add maybe more thoughts to the question actually.
00:42:49.740
But sometimes when I, when I read about the type of people that are constantly trying
00:42:56.200
to prove themselves, they're trying to prove themselves through something.
00:43:01.400
It's like, you know, I'm going to hold onto this project.
00:43:05.240
I'm not going to ask for help because like, I'm going to build this thing and I'm going
00:43:09.480
And everybody's like going to like, think of me better.
00:43:12.660
And a lot of the time, those people fail to realize that it's the person that they are showing
00:43:20.700
up as day in, day out that will get my respect.
00:43:25.060
And all the things that they're doing around the project or the, around the thing is setting
00:43:34.660
So be very careful that you don't lose yourself in results.
00:43:45.440
We'll go, does Ryan have the ability and the skill necessary to do the job?
00:44:01.960
So be very careful that your quest to look good through things, improving yourself doesn't
00:44:09.080
have a negative impact because I think far too often we think it's these results and
00:44:15.720
these other things that will prove our worth when in reality, it's how we got there that
00:44:26.880
But I think this is a battle because we talk about it.
00:44:30.560
Hey, you need to be a producer, not a consumer.
00:44:36.860
And you need to deliver results, but be careful that you're like, just not out seeking validation
00:44:43.300
from everybody, but yourself or validation from a higher sense of being and not just social
00:44:54.980
I mean, look, I have to just question our motives when we do things like why, why are you doing
00:45:02.580
Is it aligned with like the mission or what we're trying to accomplish as a team versus
00:45:08.220
Well, I guess maybe put another way is would you still do that thing if nobody ever knew
00:45:16.000
Like if you, if you told yourself, I'm going to go for a run today and nobody's going to
00:45:20.000
know whether you did or didn't, would you still go do it?
00:45:22.820
And I think the person that you need to prove yourself to the most is yourself.
00:45:27.440
If you can wake up and fulfill all of the commitments that you made today to yourself, I think you
00:45:35.000
can prove to yourself that you're, you're worthwhile, that you're, you're special, that
00:45:41.000
And that there's a tremendous sense of value in what you do.
00:45:44.720
If it's always commitments to other people, but you're only doing it for praise or accolades
00:45:50.500
I mean, look, there's guys who will like do the dishes and they're like, well, I did
00:45:56.980
It's like, so you're only doing the dishes to get laid.
00:46:01.000
And they're not going to get laid all the time.
00:46:03.260
And then their expectations are going to be, well, and, and it's not always going to work.
00:46:07.320
Sometimes we're going to do amazing things and no one's going to notice or they won't
00:46:14.160
Like, or donating to charity, you know, you'll see people donate to charity or, or leave
00:46:19.460
a big tip and then they'll post about it on social media.
00:46:21.840
It's like, I mean, on what you can make the argument that they're encouraging other people
00:46:29.000
I can make that argument and maybe that's true and maybe that will work, but also, or
00:46:34.040
So you'll get attaboys and pats on the back for doing it.
00:46:39.820
It's no longer about what was right and what was moral and righteous and what you should have
00:46:43.420
done and the work you should have been doing, but what you're going to get acknowledged
00:46:47.940
It's been very liberating being off social media quite a bit more than I've been in the
00:46:52.080
past because I don't, there's all sorts of things that happen on a daily basis that
00:46:55.980
I don't really feel compelled to share with anybody.
00:47:00.540
Because I don't need somebody to say, Hey, Ryan, you're awesome.
00:47:03.200
Cause I'm, I don't, I'm not, but also I don't, I don't, I'm not even going to get
00:47:08.560
into the specifics of what I do, but I'm not going to get into the specifics on social
00:47:12.600
media unless I'm trying to encourage somebody else to do it.
00:47:15.880
Or there's a lesson I think that can be extracted from it.
00:47:18.160
I'd rather just keep it to myself and just like be a good person without having to be
00:47:26.880
You know, I feel, so what I'm hearing what you say is obviously check your intent, right?
00:47:35.860
Making sure that it's in line with not just getting like that.
00:47:40.900
You're, that you're honoring your commitments to yourself first.
00:47:44.440
And that if we are doing something that it's rooted in genuinely helping people and serving
00:47:51.200
others and not, you know, validation, external validation from, from other individuals.
00:47:57.040
And, and with that said, I think it's something that we have to fight for all the time.
00:48:02.120
I remember years and years ago in the iron council, I was, you know, I was battle team leader.
00:48:09.600
And I remember once where I was complaining about the, the team to myself.
00:48:15.720
I was like, man, these guys are all superficial, right?
00:48:18.040
They're not sharing, they're like, you know, disconnected.
00:48:28.360
And then I remember thinking like, leaders go first.
00:48:35.420
And I came to the conclusion that I had joined the ranks of battle team leader.
00:48:46.760
And over this period of time, I slowly got to the point where I was, I didn't want to
00:48:56.520
I, and I lost, kind of lost my way a little bit.
00:49:00.200
And I had to check myself and go, no, no, wait, hold on.
00:49:06.460
Is it for anything other than to serve these guys?
00:49:10.160
And I had to adjust how I was showing up because I, I lost sight of that.
00:49:14.620
And I, and so I think it's easy for us to get our egos and, you know, get sideways sometimes
00:49:21.320
if we don't constantly confirm, why are we doing what we're doing and what's the ideal
00:49:26.740
purpose and the mission of, of, of what we're doing.
00:49:31.940
And I, and I also think one, one litmus test that you can use is just don't take credit
00:49:41.940
If somebody pays you a compliment, you know, say, thank you.
00:49:46.760
But I'm saying if there's a team project or something that you've done, or even something
00:49:55.620
Just, just don't just give credit to somebody else, especially if other people were involved.
00:49:59.260
And yeah, you may have been a big part of that, but you know what?
00:50:02.560
The reason this is, this podcast is so wonderful is because Kip does an amazing job.
00:50:07.480
And if you're always looking for credit from things, then your, your motives, your intent
00:50:11.600
might be off a little bit, but if there's no, nothing to be gained by doing it, then
00:50:31.660
You can join us at facebook.com slash group slash order of man.
00:50:34.940
And as always, you can learn about the iron council by going to order of man.com slash
00:50:39.240
The key thing that we're suggesting people to consider is the open enrollment for the
00:50:44.660
IC won't open until December for starting in Jan one.
00:50:49.720
But if you want to get on that path now and start making some progress, join our battle
00:50:54.500
ready program to learn more, go to order of man.com slash battle ready.
00:50:58.560
And that's a process by which you can kind of in a light version, join us in the iron
00:51:04.620
council and follow some of those systems and processes and start making some progress.
00:51:08.980
And those guys that join the IC are well-prepared to hit the ground running when, when they join
00:51:15.240
So once again, that's order of man.com slash battle ready.
00:51:32.720
So they'll ship the early part of the following week.
00:51:35.860
Cause I think we're actually getting through quite a bit.
00:51:38.660
I'm not sure how much of a selection we have at this point.
00:51:45.380
So store.orderofman.com is the URL store.orderofman.com for all your order of man swag.
00:51:54.560
I hope we gave you some things to consider today.
00:51:58.380
We'll try to give you answers as best we know how.
00:52:00.620
And, and like I said today, I'm like, I don't know.
00:52:03.360
I probably said, I don't know three or four times.
00:52:05.940
Cause sometimes I don't, you know, and I'm trying to figure out a lot of this stuff along
00:52:09.100
the way and I stumble and you know, just, just trip up just as much as anybody else.
00:52:16.660
So just keep staying on the path, keep working, keep growing.
00:52:19.820
And, uh, we'll be back on Friday, but until then go out there, take action and become
00:52:25.340
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:52:27.920
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:52:32.000
We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.