Order of Man - Embracing Discomfort, Overcoming Overwhelm, and Connecting Action and Reaction ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.120 What's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the Ask Me Anything.

00:00:28.200 As if you have a choice. You don't have a choice. You just have to be here.

00:00:31.040 That's true. Do I have a choice?

00:00:33.400 You have a choice.

00:00:34.540 Oh, okay.

00:00:35.240 You have chosen wisely by being here today.

00:00:37.880 I still have freedoms. My destiny is not predetermined.

00:00:42.040 Yeah, we actually talked about that in the Iron Council this morning a little bit.

00:00:47.300 I had an interesting conversation with a podcast guest who will be coming out over the next two or three weeks,

00:00:54.680 and we were talking about free will.

00:00:56.320 He doesn't believe in free will, which is kind of an interesting thought, and I think one that's actually growing.

00:01:00.480 I don't really want to go down to the rabbit hole necessarily on this, but definitely some interesting perspectives there,

00:01:06.860 and it was fascinating to talk with him a little bit about it.

00:01:10.440 Yeah.

00:01:11.160 It's – yeah, interesting.

00:01:13.240 We'll leave it as that, right?

00:01:14.420 Yeah.

00:01:14.560 No, I mean I'd be curious to hear what you guys think.

00:01:17.260 Obviously, a lot of you guys listen, probably Sam Harris who's I think talked a lot about this.

00:01:22.660 I think his definition of free will is a little bit off, which is why he says he doesn't believe in free will.

00:01:27.400 So I think in order to have the discussion of whether or not free will exists, you probably ought to get on the same page with regards to what you're even talking about.

00:01:37.000 Sometimes we just assume that you think free will is the same thing that I think it is, and therefore we have these debates,

00:01:42.620 and we end up realizing that we're closer than maybe we initially thought because we defined a term a little bit differently.

00:01:49.620 This goes back to what we've said a lot is that words have meaning.

00:01:52.840 Words are powerful.

00:01:54.240 And the better we get at using words and learning how to communicate effectively,

00:01:58.040 the more effective leaders and fathers and husbands and men we're going to be.

00:02:03.520 Yeah.

00:02:03.760 And I think some of that is the not diving in deep enough and just looking at things from the surface.

00:02:10.080 I've had this conversation around laws within cities or whatever, and I'll cut, not a joke,

00:02:16.640 but I'll kind of make a point where I'll say, Oh, a little bit more freedom taken away.

00:02:21.940 My wife's like, Oh, what do you, we still have freedoms. 1.00

00:02:24.660 I'm like, if, if there is not, not truly right.

00:02:28.460 Like there is, there is a balance between some of the laws and securities that we quote unquote put in place and our liberty being affected.

00:02:37.760 Um, it's very much so, but, but people don't think of it that way.

00:02:42.380 They think it is like, Oh no, you know, it's not totally like, well, it kind of is, it kind of is a problem.

00:02:49.040 That's why we have to be really careful.

00:02:50.820 Yeah.

00:02:51.280 I think, I think for the most part, we as a society try to do a good job by implementing moral virtues and,

00:02:57.520 in, in self-imposed limitations, you know, like you shouldn't kill people.

00:03:02.380 So generally, I think most of us would probably agree with that.

00:03:06.460 Yeah.

00:03:07.120 It's, it's the laws that come into play that not everybody is so heavily agreeable on that.

00:03:13.600 It becomes a problem.

00:03:15.100 So I don't, I don't mind the limitation that we shouldn't kill people or we shouldn't steal from each other.

00:03:20.380 Like I'm okay with that limitation because I was planning on living within that parameter.

00:03:24.500 Anyways, it's the, it's the laws and, and the regulations that impose upon the free will or, or my desire to do something that I may consider noble or virtuous or moral.

00:03:36.720 And somebody may not, for example, gun ownership, right?

00:03:40.460 So that's where it becomes a problem.

00:03:43.060 Yeah.

00:03:43.860 And I, and I even think of just my new little things such as putting on a seatbelt.

00:03:49.320 Yeah.

00:03:49.880 You know, I lived on a farm, like in some cases, guess what?

00:03:53.140 I, I, maybe I don't want to wear a seatbelt or there's a unique scenario by which my truck doesn't have a seatbelt because I live on a farm and you're going to put a law in place that prevents me or I get penalized for not wearing a seatbelt.

00:04:05.440 Like some of those, yeah, some of those things kind of bother me a little bit.

00:04:08.560 And I, and I get the moral direction people come into those is, well, it's for the greater good and we're going to save lives or whatever.

00:04:15.580 But you know, you're an adult, you can make your own choices.

00:04:18.900 And, and as long as it's not impacting somebody else and make your choice, right?

00:04:24.880 And, and there's even things that I would say that are immoral, maybe not even immoral, just things that I wouldn't necessarily do.

00:04:32.100 Uh, marijuana use, for example, I don't think that's immoral.

00:04:36.620 I wouldn't, I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but it's not something that I would choose to partake in.

00:04:41.140 But that doesn't mean that I don't think maybe somebody else wants to smoke a joint and relax, like, okay, as long as you don't go out into, out into public and operate a vehicle inhibited and then, okay, no, do your thing.

00:04:53.500 You're an adult.

00:04:54.140 So make your choices.

00:04:55.560 Yeah.

00:04:56.360 Very interesting stuff.

00:04:57.940 Very interesting.

00:04:59.220 Yeah.

00:04:59.820 All right, man.

00:05:00.520 All right.

00:05:00.840 Well, there's our, uh, standard intro.

00:05:03.980 Uh, we're, we're narrowing it down.

00:05:05.720 It goes, it went from like 10 to 15 minutes to four.

00:05:08.320 So that's pretty good.

00:05:09.420 Yeah.

00:05:10.120 We're getting better.

00:05:11.140 It's mostly just cause I was fighting really hard not to go into the whole, like, do we have, uh, um, agency or not kind of question that we could riff on that.

00:05:21.000 Talk about an hour.

00:05:21.980 Oh, at least, at least.

00:05:24.280 Well, guys, if you don't know what we're all about, most of you do, uh, the podcast has been growing.

00:05:29.420 Actually, YouTube, Kip, YouTube has been blowing up.

00:05:33.020 I mean, I think we've got, I want to say close to 17,000 new subscribers in the past roughly three weeks.

00:05:40.340 So if you want to look at Kip and look at me, I don't know why you'd want to look at Kip, but if you want to look at me, then you're going to have to look at Kip too.

00:05:48.580 So head over to, you're stuck on the screen.

00:05:53.260 You don't have a choice.

00:05:54.280 That's right.

00:05:55.020 That's right.

00:05:56.160 Uh, just go over to our YouTube channel.

00:05:58.460 You can listen and watch this podcast and the video for this and other podcasts and me just kind of shooting off the, uh, off the hip a little bit.

00:06:05.320 Uh, it's youtube.com slash order of man.

00:06:10.380 And then did I tell you, did I tell the guys what we're doing here?

00:06:12.880 I don't think I did.

00:06:13.600 We're fielding questions from the iron council and the Facebook group.

00:06:17.060 So we're going to do our best to answer as many as we can today.

00:06:19.260 Yeah.

00:06:20.180 And the majority of these questions today will be coming from the iron council, uh, to learn more about that brotherhood or that mastermind or that exclusive group where it has secrets.

00:06:31.400 And you don't know about any of them until you join, uh, you can go to order of man.com slash iron council.

00:06:38.840 Yep.

00:06:39.820 Secret combinations, codes, passwords, barcodes on our necks.

00:06:47.420 Don't come on, man.

00:06:48.640 Don't be giving all that stuff away.

00:06:50.980 All right.

00:06:51.820 Our first question is for Moose.

00:06:53.540 Hey, Moose, how's it going?

00:06:54.500 I feel like we should say hi to all these guys since we know them intimately.

00:06:58.380 Uh, the first question is from Moose.

00:07:00.020 What do you think is the best way to handle in-laws who still insist on seeing you as the man you used to be instead of the man you are today?

00:07:10.700 You know, that's, that's one of two things that's, that's either going to come with time.

00:07:14.600 Just continue to be this new man.

00:07:17.120 Everybody runs into this a little bit, whether it's in-laws or buddies or friends or people from the past who know you as the old you.

00:07:24.540 I still run into that.

00:07:25.840 There's people that I know from, from high school that, that judge me based upon a 20, 25 year old kid, not the 38 year old man that I am now.

00:07:35.880 So, the, the best thing you can do is just to continue to be that man.

00:07:41.240 Hopefully at some point they begin to see that this is a change.

00:07:43.980 It's a permanent and lasting change.

00:07:46.060 Uh, communicate with them effectively.

00:07:48.820 I mean, you don't have to go spilling all your secrets and disclose all the information.

00:07:52.840 They're in-laws, right?

00:07:53.580 There's a limit to what they need to know, but communicate with them, engage with them, be supportive of them.

00:07:59.960 Um, include them in your life to the degree that you and your wife want to.

00:08:04.840 And outside of that, what, what more can really be done?

00:08:07.900 They're either going to get on board or it's at some point or they won't, but that's still the appropriate course of action.

00:08:15.380 Yeah.

00:08:15.960 Do you think there's a mindset and a different approach when that's a concern versus when it's not?

00:08:22.940 Oh yeah.

00:08:25.560 Well, I think the concern is when it starts to spill over into the relationship between you and your wife.

00:08:30.840 So, if your mother-in-law or father-in-law, for example, are sowing seeds of discontent in, in your wife and that's spilling over to your personal relationship, okay, that becomes a problem, right?

00:08:42.560 If, if my in-laws think negatively about me in some capacity, I can live with that.

00:08:47.940 That's fine.

00:08:48.440 There's a lot of people who think negatively of me.

00:08:50.380 It doesn't affect me.

00:08:51.220 But when it begins to affect me, that's a problem that I would address.

00:08:57.340 Now, I don't have to deal with that, fortunately.

00:09:00.160 I would have some very, very serious conversations with my wife about what is being said.

00:09:06.320 I would definitely establish some boundaries between me, my wife, and my in-laws.

00:09:13.400 There would be consequences for continuing to cross those boundaries, like limited access to us as a family unit.

00:09:22.500 And then if it got bad enough, then I would have a very serious adult conversation with my in-laws.

00:09:29.180 All right, Jordan Stanley, fixing to make a huge move to Idaho.

00:09:37.160 Yes, it's going to be winterish.

00:09:39.200 How do I relay to my 16 and 17-year-old daughters that this is just an adventure and the reason for moving are genuine and much needed change for our family?

00:09:49.240 We wish we had done this earlier, like years ago, but we procrastinated.

00:09:54.720 Good luck, man.

00:09:56.020 16 and 17-year-old daughters.

00:09:58.540 Holy cow. 0.89

00:10:00.440 Jordan, I don't envy you, brother.

00:10:02.520 That's true, huh?

00:10:03.700 That's tough.

00:10:04.260 Yeah, they probably have boyfriends and cheerleading and sports and favorite teachers and all the activities and all the things that they're doing, which, gosh, that makes it even harder.

00:10:15.320 My kids are fortunately younger when we made the move, but even still, they dealt with it a little bit.

00:10:21.880 The best thing I did for our kids, I believe, is got them involved in the process of moving, where we're going to be moving, what we're going to be doing, how we're going to get things packed up.

00:10:34.100 I just involved them as much as I possibly could.

00:10:37.200 And the other thing that really, really served us well is we researched this area very well with our kids.

00:10:44.300 So my oldest, for example, he's 11 years old.

00:10:47.300 He loves animals.

00:10:48.580 So we researched what kind of animals are in Maine, and he loved that.

00:10:53.360 He was on board with that.

00:10:54.880 And so we found different things that we could explore, and we wrote down a list of a bunch of things that we could do when we got here and let them be involved in that process.

00:11:05.060 So I think the more ownership that you give them, the better off it's going to be.

00:11:10.720 I'm not going to say it's going to be seamless.

00:11:12.380 It's certainly not.

00:11:13.240 And I imagine it's going to be quite a bit more difficult with older children.

00:11:17.320 But I think that should take some of the sting off a little bit.

00:11:22.160 Yeah.

00:11:23.340 Clint McHynes, as a father, I'm having a hard time with dichotomy and wanting my kids to not just be followers, teaching them it's okay to be defiant when they question something and not being defiant to me.

00:11:35.940 My kids are just entering their teens, and up until now, they have been great and not questioning me.

00:11:42.620 But my daughter is hardheaded, as me lately, on this subject.

00:11:47.300 How do I cultivate this more, help them to be defiant at the right times, like standing up for others and not just blindly following, but also knowing when to follow dad?

00:11:58.140 Well, it almost sounds like the way that he worded it is not when to be defiant, but who to be defiant to.

00:12:05.720 So what I'm hearing anyways, and then we'll get into this a little bit, is I'm hearing, based on the wording of the question, that it's okay to be defiant to adult supervision, to other thoughts and ideas, but it's not okay to be defiant to dad.

00:12:22.320 I don't agree with that, and that's not a comfortable thought, but if you're going to teach them to be strong-willed and independent thinkers, then the, we'll call it fallout, although I don't really think it is, is that they're also going to be strong-willed and independent thinkers towards you.

00:12:42.880 So you can't compartmentalize that, and you can't isolate yourself from that.

00:12:47.500 Well, don't listen to what they say and challenge everything they say, but when it comes to what I'm doing, there's no challenge whatsoever.

00:12:53.200 I just don't think that you can isolate the two thoughts.

00:12:56.740 So what I would suggest is try to find some congruity in the way that they're challenging authority and systems and ideas across the board.

00:13:05.560 Ultimately, that means being respectful.

00:13:08.220 So you can challenge me.

00:13:09.860 You can challenge teachers to a degree.

00:13:13.880 You can challenge whoever you want or thoughts or ideas, but you've got to understand when to do it.

00:13:17.980 You've got to understand there's also consequences to challenging.

00:13:21.140 So be prepared for the consequences and the fallout of that, and then help them understand how to do it in a respectful way.

00:13:27.500 I was watching a video on Instagram earlier today, and I'm going to butcher it, but it seems like it was the acting Department of Homeland Security.

00:13:37.200 I don't know, a coordinator.

00:13:41.160 I don't know who it was.

00:13:42.060 Anyways, it was somebody in the Department of Homeland Security, and he was on a college campus talking with students and attorneys and whatever he was doing.

00:13:51.620 And there was a group of people that were protesting against closed borders.

00:13:56.480 They wanted open borders, and they wouldn't even let the man talk.

00:13:59.740 And I just thought, what a childish, childish way to approach this.

00:14:03.260 If you have a disagreement or something that you see a little bit differently, okay, choose the right forums to be able to have these conversations.

00:14:11.940 This guy's coming because he was invited, and I actually liked his approach.

00:14:17.040 He said, you know what?

00:14:17.880 I've been in law enforcement for my entire career.

00:14:20.440 I've defended the right to freedom of speech, which also includes me, and I should be able to speak here.

00:14:28.440 But that said, I'm here to have a discussion, and I'm here to teach what I know.

00:14:33.480 So if we want to debate, maybe that's a different forum.

00:14:36.800 If you want to have those conversations, we could do that at another time.

00:14:39.520 But I would appreciate the respect to be able to have this conversation.

00:14:44.900 And they kept chanting and kept shouting, and he said, you know what?

00:14:47.960 Closed his book.

00:14:48.580 He left.

00:14:48.900 He's like, thanks.

00:14:49.740 I'm out.

00:14:51.720 And that's not the correct way to handle authority or a disagreement.

00:14:57.800 So you've got to teach people, okay?

00:14:59.760 The problem with that is you undermine your own efforts.

00:15:04.700 Like these people think they won something.

00:15:06.460 They had some great victory by shutting this down.

00:15:08.640 No.

00:15:09.320 They undermined their own efforts.

00:15:11.320 They made themselves look foolish and immature and irresponsible, and more people are going to be pissed off about that and not actually rally around a cause that maybe otherwise they would have.

00:15:23.900 So use these as examples of what to do and what not to do.

00:15:27.120 When my kids ask me about chores, for example, I don't say because I said so, although I want to.

00:15:34.440 I say because we have a home and there's trash in the home, and we don't want the trash not to be – or to be in the home.

00:15:44.820 So we have to put it out to the curb so they can put it – take it to the dump where it can be disposed of properly.

00:15:50.800 And this is part of having a home.

00:15:53.420 So if you don't want to take out the trash, then you can go sleep outside tonight because having a place to stay means that there's responsibility to take care of the place, right?

00:16:01.300 So I'm explaining what it is we're doing and why we're doing it as opposed to just laying down the hammer and saying, because I said so, because I'm the dad, because this is the way we do it.

00:16:10.680 Explain it.

00:16:11.180 I think you're going to have a better likelihood of them understanding why you're doing it, which hopefully – I mean they're still going to be pissed, right?

00:16:17.500 My kids still don't want to do chores even though I explain it, but they get it, right?

00:16:20.840 They understand.

00:16:22.420 And over time, right?

00:16:24.720 And the process by which you are dealing with them is also the example.

00:16:29.320 You could easily just be pissed off at them for being pissed off and just do your shit and get all angry about it.

00:16:36.400 And then what did you just teach your kids?

00:16:38.520 Not to have any type of dialogue against something that you disagree with and just to get angry.

00:16:46.080 Right.

00:16:46.140 So this – I think I used this example last week is my son was upset with my wife about something, and same scenario.

00:16:56.280 I told him, hey, it's okay to be upset.

00:16:58.640 Right.

00:16:58.740 What's not okay is just storm off and not talk about the situation and address it.

00:17:04.180 So be upset.

00:17:05.020 That's totally fine.

00:17:05.640 You don't have to agree, but let's have some dialogue so you can understand where mom's coming from so you can get on the same page.

00:17:12.400 That's it.

00:17:13.440 Yeah.

00:17:13.760 Disagree is okay.

00:17:15.080 And there's consequences.

00:17:16.140 Just because somebody disagrees, I think this is really interesting too.

00:17:20.060 And this might be – I don't know if it's a relatively new development or not.

00:17:24.960 It might be old as man himself.

00:17:26.400 But look, we are entitled to our opinion.

00:17:30.400 As citizens of America, we're entitled to the right to voice our opinion.

00:17:34.420 But that doesn't mean that you're free of the consequence that comes from voicing your opinion or from you making a choice that you did.

00:17:46.540 And so I think there's a misconception where people believe that because they have the right to say it, they're free of the consequence of saying it.

00:17:55.380 And that is not true.

00:17:56.840 So when my kids voice their concern or frustration with something and then they end up not doing it anyways or doing it incorrectly, oh, there's still a consequence.

00:18:05.420 And they know that the consequence is attached to the wrong choices, which is my job as a parent.

00:18:11.880 To help bridge the gap between action and reaction.

00:18:16.660 And the more they can learn it inside of a semi-controlled environment, i.e. our home, the better off they're going to be when they get out into the real world.

00:18:24.040 I'll give you another example.

00:18:25.100 So on Sunday, a couple of days ago, my son was playing football with against another team and they were destroying this team.

00:18:35.040 It's like 30 to zero.

00:18:36.680 And I think there was we were probably a couple of minutes into the fourth quarter and the other team scored.

00:18:43.900 And which was great, you know, it was actually really fascinating because the parents on our side of the field actually cheered for the other team when they scored.

00:18:51.660 I just thought that was pretty cool that they cheered the other team on.

00:18:55.100 Anyways, so they scored.

00:18:58.000 And then I turned around and started talking to my wife for a minute. 0.75

00:19:00.220 I looked over and we were kicking off to the other team.

00:19:04.700 And I'm like, wait a second.

00:19:07.580 They just scored.

00:19:08.760 They're supposed to kick off to us.

00:19:10.280 Well, apparently there's some sort of weird mercy rule where if we're up over a certain amount with so much time left in the game, then they get the ball back.

00:19:20.360 And I thought, what?

00:19:23.460 That is absolutely ridiculous.

00:19:25.600 What are you teaching these children?

00:19:27.180 First, you're teaching the winning team that it doesn't pay to win, right?

00:19:31.680 If you win, it's going to be taken away from you.

00:19:34.220 We're going to make it even for somebody else.

00:19:36.400 You're teaching the losing team that you can suck and people will take care of you.

00:19:43.120 Like you're completely undermining what you're trying to do here.

00:19:46.320 And too many parents in too many cities and too many organizations try to do this.

00:19:50.640 And what they fail to do is connect the dot between action and reaction.

00:19:55.540 So then our kids go out into the world having this misguided sense of consequence and choice.

00:20:02.940 And they get throttled because they never learned the lessons they should have learned when they were five, six, seven, ten years old.

00:20:11.080 Because we as parents and adults were too weak to do it correctly.

00:20:18.240 Yeah.

00:20:19.220 That's interesting.

00:20:20.840 It's not even interesting.

00:20:22.540 That's not the right word for it.

00:20:24.480 But we'll use that for now.

00:20:25.600 But I do think that that exists even for adults sometimes where when crap hits the fans and things get worse, that they almost – like there's this sense of give up as though something – someone will swoop in.

00:20:41.620 Something will address itself.

00:20:43.200 Something outside of their control is going to like help take care of the problem.

00:20:48.560 Oh, yeah.

00:20:49.340 And that's been conditioned from a young age.

00:20:51.820 Yeah.

00:20:52.940 Yeah.

00:20:53.180 It's a shame.

00:20:54.020 It's a travesty.

00:20:54.700 It is because the reality is in a lot of those cases, it's going to get worse.

00:21:00.740 So you better start acting now before it gets worse.

00:21:03.820 Or from a young kid's perspective, if you want to get blown out and beat by 100, you better start playing a lot harder than you're playing right now because it's going to get a lot more embarrassing, boys.

00:21:14.440 Well, the consequences and the stakes are higher.

00:21:16.960 If you lose a game 50 to 0, okay, well, you're wounded pride.

00:21:20.900 You're going to have to do some laps of practice the next day.

00:21:23.140 Like there's some consequence to that.

00:21:24.960 But out in the real world, you lose your job and you can't pay for your mortgage and you have to declare bankruptcy, which is another form of rescuing, I guess you could say.

00:21:35.540 It is.

00:21:36.080 So – but what I'm saying is the stakes get higher.

00:21:39.080 And if you don't learn a lesson when the stakes are low, you're certainly not going to learn a lesson when the stakes are high and you're going to be devastated.

00:21:44.680 Yeah, so true.

00:21:47.440 All right.

00:21:47.820 Cody Guild.

00:21:49.040 Is that how Cody pronounced his last name?

00:21:51.960 How do you spell it?

00:21:53.480 G-O-U-L-D. 1.00

00:21:55.240 You know Cody.

00:21:56.280 Yeah.

00:21:57.060 I don't know.

00:21:57.880 Is it Gold or –

00:21:59.500 Okay.

00:22:00.080 Gold or Guild.

00:22:01.500 Do you have any tactics for handling anger?

00:22:05.080 The one thing I have always struggled with the most is anger, especially when I'm overwhelmed with multiple issues.

00:22:11.620 It has recently caused issues in my relationship, so I'm looking for advice, tips, or even literature I can study to help me overcome this.

00:22:19.380 My anger is holding me back from being the man, partner, and father I want to be.

00:22:24.720 Well, I'm glad that he recognizes this.

00:22:26.840 I think this is something I dealt with for a long time too.

00:22:29.100 A lot of it is just immaturity and not knowing how to handle yourself.

00:22:32.660 But I'm not suggesting that's necessarily the situation with Cody.

00:22:36.460 He actually alluded to the answer in the question.

00:22:39.200 He feels angry when he's overwhelmed.

00:22:42.600 Okay.

00:22:43.380 Let's address that.

00:22:45.200 How do you have less overwhelm in your life?

00:22:48.320 The first thing you can do is you can stop saying yes to so many things.

00:22:53.160 This is something that so many men do is they say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes to everything.

00:22:59.020 They have no time to do anything.

00:23:00.820 They're stressed out because they've got work and then their kids are bouncing on their leg and their wife needs attention.

00:23:05.500 They have these projects and these tasks and then they want to do some things for themselves and go train or whatever it might be.

00:23:11.660 Then they're stressed out and pissed off at their kids when it's not really their kids' fault.

00:23:16.080 It's their fault for taking on so much.

00:23:17.820 So, stop saying yes to everything.

00:23:20.980 Start making a list of priorities.

00:23:23.240 What is important to me?

00:23:24.960 And it's the old adage.

00:23:26.180 You can't – you can do anything you want.

00:23:28.540 You just can't do everything.

00:23:29.860 So, you have to pick something.

00:23:33.660 Something has to go or it will break and you'll end up in an outrage situation at the people who – it's not their fault.

00:23:43.680 It's your own fault.

00:23:44.580 So, number one is figure out why you're feeling so overwhelmed and how you can cut things out of your life in order to have the space and the margin to get things accomplished, to do things that are meaningful, and then to have the space to review and recover a little bit, if you will, from activities.

00:24:08.380 That's been a big help for me.

00:24:10.180 The other thing I would say, and this has to come second because – well, the thing I was going to tell you is having an outlet.

00:24:18.220 You have to have an outlet, a healthy, constructive outlet.

00:24:21.520 So, maybe that's lifting weights, could potentially be running, jujitsu, archery.

00:24:28.300 These are things that I do, and when I'm out shooting archery, for example, I just – I feel better.

00:24:34.740 It gives me the mental space and the clarity and the focus.

00:24:37.260 I channel all of my attention and energy on one thing, the arrow going right where I want it to, and then I look at the target and I think, okay, well, the arrow is not exactly where I want, so what's wrong?

00:24:47.920 Well, your site needs to be adjusted or you didn't have a follow-through on your release, whatever.

00:24:53.520 It could be a thousand, an infant number of things, and I'm constantly trying to figure that out.

00:24:57.160 So, I'm so present in the moment that it allows me just to unwind and unravel from everything that's got me wound up.

00:25:04.340 But in order to do that, you have to say no to something else.

00:25:08.780 We talk about it a lot, Kip, as we say, find an outlet, find a hobby, find an activity, and I have guys who message me and ask about jujitsu or ask what bow they should buy.

00:25:17.800 And I love giving them that advice.

00:25:19.920 I love that they're wanting to get involved in something that's going to be good for them.

00:25:22.940 But unless you have first found the time in your day to do that by saying no to something else.

00:25:29.780 So, somebody the other day, I think, it might have actually been on the Ask Me Anything.

00:25:33.500 Somebody said, do you plan on practicing traditional archery?

00:25:38.080 Yeah, last week.

00:25:39.620 Yeah.

00:25:40.040 And I said, no, I don't.

00:25:42.240 Not that I have anything against traditional archery.

00:25:44.680 Not that I don't think it's valuable or even fascinating or interesting.

00:25:48.100 I just know that if I do that too, then something else has to give.

00:25:53.980 And I'm not willing to give up jujitsu.

00:25:56.020 I'm not willing to give up my compound bow archery.

00:25:59.240 I'm not willing to give up playing Legos with my kids.

00:26:01.900 I'm not willing to spend time in the evening with my wife.

00:26:05.280 I'm not willing to take more time away from my workday.

00:26:08.680 I'm not willing to not lift and exercise.

00:26:11.600 So, the answer has to be no.

00:26:13.180 And I made that decision, and I feel completely fine with it.

00:26:18.680 But that's a practice that it takes a lot of work.

00:26:22.400 It takes a lot of understanding of your priorities, and it takes a lot of courage, believe it or not.

00:26:27.680 It doesn't sound like it, but it does take courage to be able to say no to things.

00:26:31.920 And the more you do it, the better off you'll be.

00:26:34.260 We're just so overwhelmed with stuff.

00:26:36.840 And usually, it's stuff that other people tell us we need to do.

00:26:40.220 I mean, even with you and I, Kip, we're telling guys, like, get involved in jujitsu.

00:26:45.200 Get involved in archery.

00:26:46.580 And in the same breath, probably what I should say is, if that's meaningful to you and you have the time to do it.

00:26:53.880 Like, you shouldn't do it just because Kip does it, or I do it, or Jocko does it, or this person does it.

00:26:59.700 If it's not meaningful and significant to you, then pursue something else.

00:27:03.600 What's the psychology around those, you think?

00:27:10.800 Around what?

00:27:12.260 Around, like, hobbies.

00:27:13.520 Let's use jujitsu as an example.

00:27:15.680 I have my take on this, but I'm curious if it's the same, or you think it's the same for archery, for instance.

00:27:21.460 What is it about jujitsu or archery that allows me to show up differently when I come home if I invest time in myself?

00:27:32.600 What's the psychology around it?

00:27:34.400 What's the thought process, you think?

00:27:37.060 I think there's a lot of factors.

00:27:41.020 The first one that comes to mind is presence.

00:27:43.720 When in jujitsu, I went to jujitsu this morning, for example, and as me and Brody were training, and as he was trying to injure me, I wasn't thinking about my bills that I need to pay today.

00:27:59.380 I wasn't thinking about what my kids were doing at home, like if they were up and out of bed yet.

00:28:06.540 I was thinking about not getting strangled and then getting out of that position and putting him in that position instead.

00:28:15.080 That's it.

00:28:15.920 That's all I was thinking about.

00:28:17.560 When I'm out doing archery, like I said earlier, I go through a pre-shot checklist, and I run through it from top to bottom.

00:28:26.120 I release the arrow.

00:28:27.720 I observe the arrow.

00:28:29.240 It does what I want it to or it doesn't do what I want it to, and I evaluate and correct and adjust along the way.

00:28:34.920 This is something that we are not doing enough of, not archery or jujitsu, but presence, 100% presence.

00:28:43.840 Even now, guys that are listening to this podcast, they're mowing the lawn or they're exercising or they're checking Instagram or they're having another conversation or they're training in some capacity.

00:28:56.480 They're doing something else as they're listening to this podcast, and I get it.

00:29:00.440 It's because we're busy.

00:29:02.580 But that spills over.

00:29:04.280 How many times have you been on a date with your wife, for example, and you look over the table next to you and you see a couple there and they're texting on their phone?

00:29:12.820 Look, I'm guilty of it too, and I'm trying not to be judgmental of that, but that's a lack of presence.

00:29:20.220 And of course, you're not going to do either well.

00:29:23.360 You're not going to be texting well, and you're not going to be engaging with your wife well in that scenario.

00:29:26.400 It's like pick one and be fully present, and that's a skill set that can be developed, that can be harnessed, that can be learned, and you're so much more effective when you are.

00:29:36.240 And then what you do psychologically, because you were asking about that, is you eliminate guilt because when you're fully present in things, then there's no guilt about it because you're more productive.

00:29:48.480 Like if I'm fully present in work, for example, I'm hyper, hyper effective, and I get everything done.

00:29:55.240 And you feel good after.

00:29:56.780 Right.

00:29:57.060 Way different than if you weren't productive.

00:29:59.020 Right, because if I wasn't productive and then I go down and try to eat dinner with my family, I'm going to be thinking about all the things I didn't do rather than what I did accomplish.

00:30:07.120 But when I can walk out of this office and I can wash my hands and say, job well done, and I can go down and be fully present, that's so much more meaningful and powerful and significant and enjoyable and fulfilling for me and my family.

00:30:22.940 But that requires me to be fully present.

00:30:25.080 So if I let my kids cross the boundaries, the physical boundary of my door, for example, when it says recording on there, that dips into my presence with work, which will then ultimately affect my time dedicated to them, which is in the evenings.

00:30:41.940 Or when somebody wants to do a podcast at night, I have to say no.

00:30:47.760 I'm not forced to say no, but I've already made the decision based on my priorities and my boundaries.

00:30:53.820 The answer is no.

00:30:55.620 And I just uphold that and things seem to be working out better when I do uphold those boundaries, whatever those look like for you.

00:31:02.660 Yeah, I love this because I think for the guy that is overwhelmed, that has taken on too much, is stressed out, and in Cody's example, angry, if he sits down and evaluates his thought process, why is he angry?

00:31:22.360 And I think it alludes to exactly what you're saying.

00:31:24.400 I feel angry right now.

00:31:26.320 Why?

00:31:27.320 Because I didn't get what I needed to get done at work.

00:31:30.180 Yep.

00:31:30.520 Because I feel unaccomplished.

00:31:32.440 I feel stretched.

00:31:34.040 I feel that I don't have the support I need.

00:31:36.300 I have too many people pulling from me from different angles.

00:31:39.040 No one gives a crap.

00:31:40.100 Everyone's just taking and no one's helping me.

00:31:43.020 All this meaning you're adding to why you're pissed off and at the root of it obviously is probably tied to the actions and the boundaries in which we accept in life.

00:31:54.780 So we get this type of clarity through other things and other means and having that headspace, if you want to use that term, to be present and even have a proper perspective of things.

00:32:07.420 I think the strangling of someone trying to hurt you puts things into perspective, right?

00:32:13.400 You then go home and you're like, geez, you know what?

00:32:17.680 I feel a lot better.

00:32:18.980 Why?

00:32:19.400 Because I'm not dying.

00:32:21.880 Yeah.

00:32:22.560 Thus, I am happy.

00:32:23.860 Right.

00:32:23.940 So you altered your perspective by the hobbies and by the things that you chose to take on.

00:32:28.960 Yeah.

00:32:29.540 That's absolutely right.

00:32:31.040 And you know what?

00:32:32.440 If you're feeling stretched or overwhelmed and people are pulling on you and everything else, that's your fault.

00:32:39.980 Yeah.

00:32:40.880 That is your fault.

00:32:42.360 Too many people say, oh, well, I just have so much to do and this person needs this and this person needs that.

00:32:47.080 But you took that upon yourself or you didn't establish the boundary.

00:32:53.360 It was funny.

00:32:54.080 I was in the car the other day with my family and I can't remember where we were going.

00:32:58.300 Is this that minivan you're driving?

00:32:59.740 The minivan I tried, my wife.

00:33:02.680 We'll talk about that here in a second.

00:33:05.900 We were driving down the road and my oldest son, he's a tease, man.

00:33:11.020 He really is.

00:33:12.380 He just doesn't know the line.

00:33:14.140 You know what I'm talking about?

00:33:15.340 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:15.480 And he just takes it too far.

00:33:17.820 And my daughter said, oh, you're making me so angry.

00:33:23.360 And my son's response was perfect.

00:33:28.280 Perfect.

00:33:28.720 Although it was bugging me that he was teasing.

00:33:33.400 His response was perfect.

00:33:34.580 He says, nobody can make you feel anything.

00:33:39.080 You have to decide that for yourself.

00:33:42.360 And I'm like in the front seat.

00:33:45.280 And you're like, it's accurate.

00:33:46.940 I was like, so true.

00:33:48.460 So true.

00:33:49.260 But yeah, he was still teasing.

00:33:52.880 And of course, we didn't want that.

00:33:54.040 But his response was perfect.

00:33:55.900 I couldn't have said it better myself.

00:33:57.440 In fact, I think I probably know where he learned that one from.

00:34:00.020 But that is true.

00:34:02.700 If you're upset at somebody else, you've decided to be upset about it.

00:34:07.440 They didn't.

00:34:08.240 And you might actually be justified.

00:34:09.940 I'm not saying that you wouldn't be justified.

00:34:12.420 You might be.

00:34:13.440 But you have decided that.

00:34:14.720 So decide to make some different choices.

00:34:18.260 Decide to respond differently.

00:34:21.460 Decide to feel something differently.

00:34:23.640 If you don't like where you're at, change it in some capacity.

00:34:27.660 And you're going to experience a different result.

00:34:30.400 And then evaluate it.

00:34:31.400 Is it the desired result?

00:34:32.700 Yes.

00:34:33.040 Cool.

00:34:33.360 Do that again. 0.95

00:34:33.920 If it's not the desired result, switch another variable until you find whatever that desired

00:34:38.540 result is.

00:34:39.980 Yeah.

00:34:40.220 And I think that's what could be powerful for Cody and this question and other guys that

00:34:44.100 might be relating to Cody is, he's saying anger.

00:34:48.980 Well, anger is something else in most cases.

00:34:52.660 Anger is another feeling, another thought process that shows up as anger.

00:34:58.760 So I would actually ask yourself, what is the thought, right?

00:35:02.780 What is actually happening?

00:35:04.840 Is it, is it that you don't feel support?

00:35:07.660 Is it feel people don't respect you?

00:35:10.160 Do you feel, I don't know, strung out?

00:35:12.840 Whatever that is, evaluate that.

00:35:15.020 Figure out where anger is coming from.

00:35:16.920 So then that way you can make the necessary adjustments to your day and boundaries and

00:35:21.760 et cetera, and to have the necessary conversations to mitigate those from existence.

00:35:26.880 Yeah.

00:35:27.540 Well, we talk about this a lot and then let's move on to the next question here.

00:35:30.600 But it, but it is really important we address this because there's so many misconceptions

00:35:33.940 about what emotions are.

00:35:35.940 So the analogy that I use for emotions is the indicator, the warning lights on, on your

00:35:42.120 vehicle, for example.

00:35:43.420 So let's say your check engine light comes on, right?

00:35:46.520 Your check engine light comes on.

00:35:47.820 We could all agree that that's indicative of something's wrong with the vehicle, right?

00:35:52.120 But you're not going to say, oh, the check engine light came on.

00:35:57.080 Well, there must be something wrong with the check engine light.

00:36:01.080 You're going to say, oh, the check engine light came on.

00:36:03.960 That's an indicator that there's something deeper going on here inside of the engine that

00:36:09.180 I need to figure out in order to ensure the car continues to run the way that it should.

00:36:13.380 Now, what we do with our emotions is we say things like, well, I'm angry, but I shouldn't

00:36:20.280 be angry.

00:36:22.500 You're mad at the indicator.

00:36:25.500 Don't be upset at the indicator.

00:36:27.800 Figure out the root cause of the indicator.

00:36:30.240 Fix that.

00:36:31.280 And the indicator takes care of itself.

00:36:33.320 The emotion, you're no longer angry, for example.

00:36:36.120 Or if you feel guilty, here's an example.

00:36:39.440 When I was little, I stole a pack of baseball cards from the convenience store and I was

00:36:45.420 walking home and I felt guilty about it.

00:36:47.940 So most people would say, well, that's a negative emotion.

00:36:50.460 No, it isn't.

00:36:51.480 There is no negative emotion.

00:36:53.100 I felt really guilty about stealing that pack of cards.

00:36:55.660 And I actually turned around and I hadn't opened it.

00:37:00.280 I turned around and I snuck it back in there and I put it back on the rack.

00:37:04.540 I didn't tell the person.

00:37:05.880 I just put it back there and then I left.

00:37:08.320 And guess what?

00:37:09.880 Guilt went away because I reconciled.

00:37:14.480 I fixed it.

00:37:16.080 And because I fixed it, the check engine light, if you will, went off and everything was fine.

00:37:22.620 Love it.

00:37:24.060 Nicholas Bean, how would you articulate the path from boyhood to manhood where a man is

00:37:29.980 still acting like a boy?

00:37:31.620 In other words, a physical man with the emotional maturity of a boy transitioning from boy to

00:37:37.200 man.

00:37:37.460 So he's talking about a older, an adult male is what I would say, who has not yet made the

00:37:45.780 transition from boy to man.

00:37:48.580 Am I understanding that correctly?

00:37:50.460 Correct.

00:37:50.980 And he wants you to articulate that path.

00:37:53.100 What does that look like?

00:37:53.980 Well, ultimately, the difference, the distinction is personal responsibility and accountability.

00:38:00.680 That's why you have 35, 40 year old boys, males.

00:38:04.640 I use those terms deliberately, who are still playing video games in mommy and daddy's basement

00:38:09.580 and they're not paying rent and they're not working and they're not doing life.

00:38:13.260 They are adult boys.

00:38:17.180 They are males.

00:38:18.320 That's it.

00:38:19.300 So what is the path?

00:38:21.640 Accepting personal responsibility and accountability for one's own life.

00:38:27.140 If you're trying to figure out for somebody else how they should do that, expose them to the consequences

00:38:34.940 of their behavior.

00:38:36.520 Connect the dots.

00:38:37.360 We already talked about this.

00:38:38.360 So if mom and dad aren't connecting the dots between action and reaction, then of course, it's way better to be 35

00:38:48.960 and to sit in your basement and jack off and play video games and eat ice cream and not have any responsibility.

00:38:56.000 That's way better in a lot of ways than life.

00:38:59.520 But that's indicative of somebody who hasn't been connecting the dots or hasn't learned the connection between your choices

00:39:06.300 and the consequence because they've never been exposed to the consequence.

00:39:10.440 But if they were exposed to the consequence, then it would be more likely that little Jimmy gets a job

00:39:16.700 and gets an apartment and then starts improving his station in life and then eventually meets a woman

00:39:24.040 and then courts her and wants to marry her and have kids together and continue to pursue his career aspirations

00:39:31.700 because he knows that there's consequences to not doing that.

00:39:35.320 So that's the path, consequence.

00:39:39.180 What's interesting is that life will, by default, address this problem.

00:39:44.940 At some point.

00:39:46.300 At some point.

00:39:47.680 Yeah, if you just let the consequences occur, they will eventually figure it out, right?

00:39:54.140 Yeah.

00:39:54.360 It's the blocking of the consequences that prolongs the issue.

00:39:57.820 Or the consequence is always there, but it's in a way, it's a little bit of you're extending mercy in a way

00:40:08.500 where maybe you shouldn't be.

00:40:11.180 And what I mean by that is you're like a parent, for example,

00:40:15.680 maybe absorbing the consequence of their child's either action or inaction.

00:40:23.540 So the cost still has to be paid, but the parent is paying the cost, not little Timmy.

00:40:31.860 So nature and life demand the cost to be paid.

00:40:38.220 Who's paying it?

00:40:39.920 I'm not paying your way.

00:40:41.280 I'll pay my kids' way for a little while.

00:40:44.660 Yeah.

00:40:45.140 For a little while.

00:40:45.780 But ultimately, I'm teaching them to be able to pay their own cost, if you will.

00:40:52.180 Yeah.

00:40:53.760 Alec Spitzer, just wondering if you could speak a bit about the allowance you have.

00:41:00.140 Wait, no.

00:41:01.020 About the allowance you have technology in your home.

00:41:04.340 Tablets, computers, video games, screen time in general for both the kids,

00:41:07.860 but also for the adults in the house.

00:41:09.900 Uh, well, I don't, I don't personally, let's talk about my wife and I, we don't personally

00:41:16.700 do screen time necessarily.

00:41:19.580 I mean, I do at work because that's all I do.

00:41:21.580 I'm either on my phone or on the computer or doing a podcast or whatever.

00:41:25.180 So I'm always in front of the screen.

00:41:27.780 I, I try, I wish I could say I'm the best at this.

00:41:31.760 I'm not, but I do try to make a conscious effort of turning my phone off and being disengaged

00:41:37.620 from my phone when I'm engaged in other things, being present, like we talked about earlier.

00:41:41.660 Yeah.

00:41:42.420 So that's pretty much us.

00:41:44.880 I mean, we may watch a movie once a week or something like that.

00:41:48.380 And we'll sit down after the kids are in bed and watch a movie together.

00:41:51.900 But what does that look like for the kids?

00:41:55.880 Do you guys limit screen time?

00:41:58.600 Uh-huh.

00:41:59.380 Yeah.

00:41:59.620 They can do, um, anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes, usually a show.

00:42:04.600 So whatever show they're watching a day, like pick a show.

00:42:07.160 You can watch a show.

00:42:08.400 Yeah.

00:42:09.400 And then they can have 30 minutes on the iPad and then any other screen time outside of

00:42:15.060 that is done for their schoolwork.

00:42:17.720 So they've got a math program, for example, they're working on the computer.

00:42:21.360 That's fine.

00:42:22.120 They're doing schoolwork.

00:42:23.540 Um, but yeah, it's usually, I would say screen, total screen time, maybe an hour, hour and a

00:42:30.040 half tops between, um, playing on the iPad or watching their show, whatever the show is.

00:42:36.000 Yeah.

00:42:36.580 Hmm.

00:42:37.300 Interesting.

00:42:38.140 You know, Asia and I, we don't even watch shows.

00:42:40.860 I have not, I don't even watch a, like everything on Netflix that people talk about.

00:42:45.880 I have no idea what they're talking about.

00:42:47.720 We, we moved our TV downstairs in the basement.

00:42:50.080 I have to like go out of my way to even get to it.

00:42:52.080 And, and we never turn them on and to be frank, I'm happy about it.

00:42:56.460 Cause I don't even know where that time would come from.

00:43:00.040 Like you were saying earlier, there's a cost to that.

00:43:03.060 So what am I willing to give up?

00:43:04.560 Right.

00:43:04.920 And I'm not willing to give up something for it.

00:43:07.360 So it's a conscious decision.

00:43:09.440 And that's, that to me is a wise one for sure.

00:43:12.140 Yeah.

00:43:12.600 All right.

00:43:13.260 Chad Adams.

00:43:14.600 Let me scroll down here.

00:43:17.060 Chad's got a long question.

00:43:18.620 All right, Chad.

00:43:19.980 I'm in a profession where I'm often, uh, solicited for advice.

00:43:23.940 I'm always glad to help where I can, but as often find the person is not really interested

00:43:29.840 in instituting any changes on their own, they'd rather a simple answer or an affirmation that

00:43:36.620 they are already doing the right thing and quickly discard the advice given Ryan, I'm

00:43:41.260 sure you often felt the same way in your work, but when is your life's work, work, it can

00:43:46.660 at times feel insulting when the person is so quickly to discard, discard you.

00:43:52.240 I've got some strategies in dealing with this personally, but often I find myself frustrated.

00:43:56.740 Ryan, how do you reconcile the effort and the frustration on those who ask, but take

00:44:01.780 no action?

00:44:03.200 So Chad actually emailed me and he said, Hey, by the way, I wasn't talking about you because

00:44:09.940 I sent him a message.

00:44:11.680 Oh, did you ask him for some advice?

00:44:13.740 And I said, Hey man, I'm having some shoulder pain.

00:44:16.780 And, uh, what do you think now?

00:44:19.860 The difference is you said tap earlier.

00:44:22.000 Is that what is that's right?

00:44:23.440 Yeah.

00:44:23.640 No, the difference, I hope anyways, I hope he sees this and feels this way is that I've

00:44:29.220 taken action on his advice.

00:44:30.780 He sent me a couple of videos.

00:44:32.500 He said, do these exercises.

00:44:33.620 So I started doing those exercises.

00:44:35.200 I told him I was feeling better.

00:44:36.840 Uh, he said, Hey, can you, um, uh, can you shoot a couple of videos of you articulating

00:44:42.960 and moving your shoulder and elbows just so I can see.

00:44:45.240 And so he gave me some instruction and I did those and sent it back to him.

00:44:47.820 He's like, okay, now you're supposed to do this every day.

00:44:49.400 He gave me some more instruction.

00:44:50.820 So I think the difference is that I, I hope again, that I'm applying it.

00:44:54.660 So he doesn't, I'm not the guy he's talking about.

00:44:57.260 Right.

00:44:58.520 Um, look, the answer is you place barriers between yourself and other people.

00:45:07.340 And I know that sounds weird because we talk about not having barriers and developing

00:45:11.700 relationships.

00:45:12.280 But if you want access to me, then you have to prove that you're willing to jump through

00:45:19.440 a few hoops or over a few hurdles.

00:45:21.220 So I deliberately put those things in place in order to see how serious people are.

00:45:26.440 One, uh, great barrier is in the iron council.

00:45:30.580 We ask people to pay for the iron council.

00:45:33.700 It's not free.

00:45:34.740 And in fact, nobody, nobody in there is in there without their membership being paid for.

00:45:42.280 Because I believe that the barrier need, there's even guys in there who have said that they

00:45:47.700 can't necessarily afford the membership because they're, they're, they're strained on, on money.

00:45:53.520 And we've had members of their team who have said, Hey, uh, I want to pay their, their tuition,

00:46:00.520 if you will.

00:46:01.600 And I, I've been hesitant about that in the past because I've had, I've actually, I've actually

00:46:07.580 done scholarships and I've given an iron council membership to people.

00:46:11.560 Um,

00:46:12.280 and they don't do it to your point, Chad, they don't do anything.

00:46:15.860 But if somebody sponsors another member, then I will tell that member who's being sponsored

00:46:21.620 that their team is paying for their membership and that you have an obligation to be engaged.

00:46:29.180 If you're not going to be engaged, then please let me know right now.

00:46:32.280 So I don't, I don't debit your team members account because I will, and they're going to

00:46:37.180 pay for it.

00:46:37.720 That's a barrier that has to be established.

00:46:40.820 I also am quick to release people out into the world who aren't really interested in making

00:46:47.160 change.

00:46:47.860 So if somebody comes to me and says, Hey Ryan, you know, I've got this, this, this idea or this

00:46:52.420 project I want to work on.

00:46:53.720 And can you help me start a podcast?

00:46:55.040 And I give them two or three pointers and they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, I tried that.

00:46:58.520 It didn't work.

00:46:59.060 I'm like, cool.

00:46:59.700 Go try your own thing.

00:47:00.620 Then best wishes.

00:47:02.500 Like I'm very, very quick and I don't do it like a jerk because I don't mean it like

00:47:07.280 a jerk. 0.95

00:47:07.760 I just very simply say, Hey, you know what?

00:47:10.500 That's, that's the advice I have.

00:47:12.180 And that's, what's worked for me.

00:47:13.240 If it's not going to work for you, then I wish you luck and hopefully you'll find a better

00:47:17.960 way.

00:47:18.280 I don't know any other way than this.

00:47:19.600 So good luck.

00:47:22.340 That's it.

00:47:23.220 I don't take it personally.

00:47:24.580 I used to, um, it's not personal.

00:47:27.380 In fact, that individual is not thinking about me at all.

00:47:29.820 They're just thinking about themselves, which is typical, just like I do.

00:47:33.880 Uh, so I don't take it personally.

00:47:36.120 Um, I don't allow it to build up any sort of, of bitterness or animosity because I realized

00:47:43.840 for every 10 people who are probably going to go down that path of doing nothing and wanting

00:47:49.520 a simple solution, there's maybe two that I really, really could impact that I can really,

00:47:56.120 really change their life through some ideas or some basic information.

00:48:00.020 And it's, I look at it as my job to find out quickly who that is and pour the limited

00:48:06.860 resources that I have into those individuals.

00:48:09.620 And the rest I release out into the world as, as delicately as I can and wish them well

00:48:16.600 on their journey.

00:48:17.200 But I'm not going to keep, look, if I keep beating my head against the wall and saying,

00:48:22.680 man, I just, I really want Kip to do this.

00:48:25.480 I can't control you, Kip.

00:48:27.580 And, and I'm not even going to try.

00:48:29.640 I just know that I cannot.

00:48:31.060 So I'm going to give you what I can if you want to return and report and hopefully it

00:48:34.780 works.

00:48:35.100 But if you're not doing it, I'm like, Hey, he's not interested and I wish him the best,

00:48:40.980 but it's not my responsibility or obligation.

00:48:43.760 I've done what I can do and this is all I can do.

00:48:47.600 I think this relates to something that we see sometimes where, where guys will want to

00:48:54.340 give advice to people.

00:48:55.440 It's very, it's very much related to the same concept, right?

00:48:58.380 It's like, Oh, this, this individual needs this concept or this advice.

00:49:01.880 I have information that could benefit them.

00:49:04.240 But if they're not asking you, they're the equivalent of these same individuals.

00:49:08.480 They're not even invested enough to actually make the change.

00:49:12.140 So even though you may throw an amazing concepts or ideas at them and have a wonderful advice,

00:49:16.960 it's not going to work because they're not even in the mindset to, to be ready for that.

00:49:22.900 Right.

00:49:23.400 There's a, there's a phrase in the Bible and I don't want you guys to take this out of

00:49:27.200 context.

00:49:27.760 The phrase is you not to cast your pearls before swine.

00:49:32.940 And, and again, I'm, I'm, again, I'm not trying to be judgmental.

00:49:36.000 That's not what I'm saying here.

00:49:37.120 I just want you to listen to the concept.

00:49:39.980 I have valuable information to share.

00:49:42.340 I know it's valuable because it's changed my life and it's changed thousands, if not

00:49:47.720 tens of thousands of men's lives.

00:49:50.420 I am not going to put that information out into the world or give that information to

00:49:55.380 somebody who is not going to be appreciative of it or not going to implement any of it.

00:50:01.540 Now I will always give somebody the benefit of the doubt by giving what I can.

00:50:07.620 And if they prove to me otherwise, then I realize, okay, this is somebody.

00:50:11.820 And again, it's, I'm just using that phrase.

00:50:14.540 I don't mean ill of these people.

00:50:17.440 I don't think they're swine.

00:50:18.540 I just, I want to put that out there.

00:50:19.900 So there's no misconception about this.

00:50:21.560 I just think that if they're not interested in it, for whatever reason, I'm not going to

00:50:25.720 cast my pearls out that way.

00:50:27.560 If that makes sense.

00:50:28.580 I hope that makes sense.

00:50:30.400 Totally.

00:50:31.260 Completely makes sense.

00:50:32.620 And then you do things such as AKA this podcast as a way to put that information out for the

00:50:39.260 masses to, so that way they can determine if there is an interest there.

00:50:43.560 And if there is, then we have these other boundaries and other means by which, in which

00:50:47.540 they could hoops, they could jump through exactly to, to, to move further down that path.

00:50:52.720 Yeah, somebody on the, in the Facebook group the other day said, is there a way to make

00:50:57.540 this less expensive for people who want it?

00:51:00.220 I'm like, what's less expensive than free?

00:51:02.600 Like, you want me to pay you to, to access it or what?

00:51:05.340 Like, I don't understand what is less expensive than free.

00:51:09.000 And he came back and I think what he was talking about was the iron council.

00:51:12.100 I said, yeah, there's definitely a way to make it less expensive.

00:51:14.980 Listen to the podcast, engage here in the Facebook group, read the book that I, that

00:51:20.380 I've made available, uh, jump on the website.

00:51:23.360 There's an infinite number of ways to access what I've shared with you.

00:51:26.600 Jump on YouTube without having to pay a thing.

00:51:30.140 But if you want an elevated experience, then you've got to, you've got to prove that you're

00:51:36.320 willing to invest in that elevated experience.

00:51:40.300 And in which sometimes that's a monetary contribution.

00:51:44.080 And what is ironic is both of those have a cost.

00:51:47.700 Yes.

00:51:48.320 Neither of those is free.

00:51:49.740 Right.

00:51:50.380 Right.

00:51:51.080 Get the book, read, have conversations, study, invest in yourself, right?

00:51:55.840 There is a cost to all growth, whether you like it or not.

00:51:59.740 And, and ironically, and I don't know if this is a negative, I just, I think it's valuable

00:52:05.160 to, to point out that if you probably ask the guys in the iron council, if they think

00:52:12.360 it should be cheaper, I would bet that the percentage of them would say it needs to be

00:52:17.680 more expensive.

00:52:18.720 You should ask that question.

00:52:19.980 We should know, but I really do think, and the reason I agree with you, because they

00:52:24.580 understand that barrier.

00:52:26.560 They understand the value of it.

00:52:28.140 Yeah.

00:52:28.380 And they would see like, Hey, we need to make this a little bit more exclusive.

00:52:32.580 We have guys that aren't fully invested and aren't ready yet that are in here.

00:52:37.100 There's, there's a lot of truth to that.

00:52:39.360 A lot of truth.

00:52:40.340 All right.

00:52:41.220 Aaron goats, can both of you briefly share your Q4 battle plan objectives, tactics, and

00:52:46.480 checkpoints, assuming you have not done so already?

00:52:48.900 Um, I don't want to get into everything necessarily, because that could just take a long time more

00:52:57.240 than I want to want to take.

00:52:58.960 Um, a lot of guys in the iron council ask this question and my response is talk with your battle

00:53:04.280 team.

00:53:04.620 No, just like talk with your battle team.

00:53:06.740 You've got 15 guys in your battle team, like share that with them.

00:53:10.360 That's it.

00:53:10.900 I can share with you what some of my, my objectives are.

00:53:14.280 Uh, one is to finish the manuscript.

00:53:16.500 That's my, what we would consider calibration objective to finish the manuscript for the book.

00:53:21.880 Um, so I'm writing, uh, a minimum of 500 words per day.

00:53:27.820 That's, that's it.

00:53:29.380 Uh, another one is to successfully complete two hunts.

00:53:34.220 And in order to do that, I'm practicing 30 minutes of archery every single day.

00:53:39.560 That's my tactic.

00:53:40.960 And that happens to be my connection one, because I'm going on hunts with people, with friends

00:53:45.980 who I want to build better relationships with.

00:53:48.940 So that's what that one is about.

00:53:51.880 Um, the condition one is to get down to 15% body fat.

00:53:56.260 That's one that I've been working on for frankly, quite a while.

00:53:58.620 And I'm getting closer and closer and inching my way there.

00:54:01.640 My tactics are to eat clean and to have one hour of exercise minimum every single day.

00:54:10.040 Sometimes that's going to the gym and training and other times it might just be a walk around

00:54:13.400 my property, but it's every day and an hour's worth.

00:54:16.500 So there's, there's three for you.

00:54:18.980 Way to, way to tackle something fun during the holidays.

00:54:23.580 What do you mean?

00:54:24.700 Well, I'm doing no junk food and I'm, and I was talking to Asia and she's like, oh, you

00:54:30.360 should do no junk food with me.

00:54:31.360 I'm like, all right, fine.

00:54:32.360 But I'm thinking, wait, we have Halloween coming up.

00:54:35.960 We have Thanksgiving and Christmas.

00:54:37.800 That's not really my thing.

00:54:39.520 Like, like candy and sweets is not really my thing.

00:54:42.300 My thing is chips and salsa, man.

00:54:45.240 I could eat the entire bag of chips and salsa in one sitting.

00:54:49.600 Chips and salsa is like food for me.

00:54:51.440 I think I would classify that as eating clean.

00:54:54.700 It's, it's vegetables.

00:54:56.060 It's potatoes, corn and tomatoes.

00:54:58.620 So it's, yeah, it's gotta be veggies.

00:55:03.240 I'll, I'll share one, uh, on my connection is, um, around my son.

00:55:08.320 My objective is just to, to be a little bit, uh, better connected with him.

00:55:13.280 This is his senior year in high school.

00:55:15.580 And, um, I just want to make sure that we're spending as much time as we can together.

00:55:19.260 And so, uh, we're doing daily workouts, uh, together in the mornings before he goes off

00:55:24.980 to school.

00:55:25.640 And then we're going to start doing jujitsu classes, uh, at least two times a week.

00:55:30.180 Excellent.

00:55:31.000 So, which just allows me to get more jujitsu in.

00:55:34.380 So that's right, man.

00:55:35.860 It's self-serving.

00:55:37.060 You're such a jerk.

00:55:38.400 You're more worried about jujitsu than you are your son.

00:55:41.380 That's really for my son.

00:55:42.620 I don't like jujitsu.

00:55:44.660 Fair enough.

00:55:45.920 I can tell you're not very good at it.

00:55:48.000 Yeah.

00:55:48.360 No, I'm not.

00:55:50.040 I got smashed this past week.

00:55:51.480 Whatever, dude.

00:55:52.940 That's the thing I'm learning is that it doesn't matter what belt you are.

00:55:57.220 We all say the same thing.

00:55:58.440 It's like, I'm just not good at this.

00:56:00.460 It's because there's someone always better to be up.

00:56:03.300 It sucks.

00:56:04.200 It's just the path, man.

00:56:05.200 There's no, there's no destination, right?

00:56:06.880 It's just the path.

00:56:07.740 Like even a black belt, like the destination is not black belt, right? 1.00

00:56:10.940 The destination is, it's undefined.

00:56:14.840 There is no destination.

00:56:16.520 Totally.

00:56:16.700 Well, and we talked about this on the Friday call.

00:56:20.040 Someone used the jujitsu analogy about, I can't remember what we're talking about, but like the goal of having a black belt.

00:56:27.980 And I kind of flipped it on its head a little bit and said, is the ultimate goal or the value the belt?

00:56:37.940 And it's really not.

00:56:39.660 It's the man that you become by trying to get it.

00:56:43.380 That's the real payoff.

00:56:44.760 No one wants the belt.

00:56:46.780 We can all go buy one, right?

00:56:48.540 But it's the man that you become by doing it.

00:56:51.220 Well, I even think about, you know, behind me, there's different things, whether it's like race medals or you can see a couple of my mounts.

00:56:59.700 I don't know if you can see them or not, but like I've got my deer, you know, those are, you know, some would say trophies, right?

00:57:08.900 So, and they are, I mean, let's, let's be real.

00:57:10.980 That's what they are.

00:57:11.500 But to me, they're just an indicator of something that I accomplished.

00:57:15.300 And so it's not the thing in and of itself.

00:57:17.540 It's the fact, it's a reminder that, oh, I accomplished this.

00:57:20.400 I did this hard thing.

00:57:21.720 And this is a reminder of the hard thing that I did and the effort that I put forth and the progress that I've been making.

00:57:26.760 So the belt system is, is powerful because it's just a reminder of the hard work and the effort and the journey that you have yet to have traveled.

00:57:37.360 So it's a great thing, but it's not intrinsically valuable in and of itself.

00:57:42.480 It's worth, you know, $2 worth of material and nothing else.

00:57:46.040 Yeah, totally.

00:57:47.940 Paul Pramit Ball, what opportunities are usually available for homeschooled kids to socialize with other kids?

00:57:55.060 Does the homeschooling system have its own avenues for sports and clubs?

00:58:00.860 Not usually.

00:58:02.280 So you say the homeschooling system as if there is like one system.

00:58:05.860 There really isn't.

00:58:07.400 There's a lot of different curriculums that you can access and courses.

00:58:11.640 And there's a lot of companies that put out some great material and information to teach your kids and keep them on track with what they need to learn.

00:58:18.620 I can't remember the one that we're using right now.

00:58:20.940 If somebody is interested, I could find out.

00:58:22.320 You'll just have to message me.

00:58:24.160 But we, like I said, we can get that for you.

00:58:27.060 So we use that curriculum for our four kids.

00:58:30.120 Because they, like the homeschooling system, it's not really a system.

00:58:36.700 It's not like the school district where they have their own programs.

00:58:41.600 And it's not like that.

00:58:42.520 It's what you and your wife come up with is the system, right?

00:58:46.120 It's what we come up with.

00:58:47.320 And then a curriculum that we happen to use based on what other people have used and what's successful and et cetera, et cetera.

00:58:54.320 But for social elements, what we do with our kids and what you can do if you're homeschooled is a lot of people don't know this.

00:59:02.500 Is that you can actually participate in the school district's sports programs and the city leagues as well, even though you may not go to that school.

00:59:13.380 So right now, my oldest is involved in football through a community league.

00:59:21.800 So you find those other leagues.

00:59:24.320 If there isn't a community league or your child's a little older, then they can participate in the sports system without going to class.

00:59:32.240 They're still eligible to play sports for the high school or middle school or whatever it might be.

00:59:38.560 Outside of that, there's a lot of homeschooling organizations and Facebook pages and groups and things like that.

00:59:45.840 In fact, about two or three weeks ago, we belonged to a Facebook group for homeschooled kids.

00:59:53.160 And this woman put something together to go down to Boston to take a train from Portland to Boston and then spend the entire day at the museum down there. 1.00

01:00:01.580 So my wife and I went, our four kids went.

01:00:03.900 There must have been 100 other kids who went, and we all went to the museum.

01:00:07.140 The kids played and talked and had fun and did the thing.

01:00:10.280 So there's a lot of different activities.

01:00:12.700 And then you just look for extracurricular activities.

01:00:15.160 My second son, he is big, big into jiu-jitsu.

01:00:19.860 Same thing with my daughter.

01:00:20.960 She's been doing jiu-jitsu a little bit.

01:00:22.620 We're trying to get both of them in a gymnastics class right now.

01:00:25.240 So there's plenty of opportunities if you just put forth the work and effort.

01:00:28.840 In fact, it's the same opportunities that somebody, that a child who's going to public school has.

01:00:34.000 The exact same opportunities, just not class.

01:00:37.200 Yeah.

01:00:38.460 Copy.

01:00:39.400 Let's take maybe one or two more.

01:00:41.400 Okay.

01:00:41.700 Sounds good.

01:00:42.220 Roger Taylor.

01:00:43.440 Hey, Ryan and Kip.

01:00:44.300 Last year, I could barely run a mile.

01:00:46.600 And today, I'm getting ready to run my first marathon.

01:00:49.760 Awesome.

01:00:50.320 Super awesome.

01:00:51.020 And he literally submitted this today.

01:00:53.740 So he's probably running right now.

01:00:56.600 Excellent.

01:00:57.400 Thank you, the Order of Man and the Iron Council, for crucial factors in helping me reach this goal.

01:01:03.120 I'm enjoying being healthier and having more money.

01:01:05.440 But perhaps the greatest benefit has been the dramatic improvement in my tolerance for pain and discomfort.

01:01:11.140 For instance, after grinding out a hard five-hour run on a Sunday and boring work meetings on Monday doesn't feel quite as so bad.

01:01:19.620 Could you speak about the benefits of voluntary discomfort and the ideas of helping to persuade others to challenge themselves to follow this path?

01:01:29.100 Thanks, Roger.

01:01:30.840 Well, first of all, congrats.

01:01:32.660 That's amazing that you're running a marathon.

01:01:35.680 I'm anxious to hear how it goes and how that all plays out.

01:01:39.260 I like the idea of voluntary discomfort.

01:01:41.920 I think we hit on it a little bit earlier.

01:01:43.740 The value of placing yourself in this discomfort, it makes you more capable.

01:01:48.760 That's it.

01:01:50.040 It just makes you more capable physically, obviously, because if you couldn't run a mile last year but now you're running a marathon, you're capable of doing 26 times what you could do before.

01:02:00.520 So you're a more capable man.

01:02:02.780 And David Gilmour makes this distinction in his book, Manhood in the Making.

01:02:07.020 Jack Donovan talks about it quite a bit.

01:02:09.040 There's a distinction between being a good man and being good at being a man.

01:02:13.800 And one speaks to morality, the other speaks to capability, right?

01:02:20.940 You can be a good man, moral, but not capable.

01:02:25.160 And you could also be capable but not moral.

01:02:27.520 I think you probably ought to work towards having both.

01:02:29.560 So being a capable man will help you be better at being a man, your capabilities.

01:02:37.320 So there's the physical component of it.

01:02:39.200 But then there's the emotional side as well in that you're just tougher.

01:02:45.940 You're just grittier.

01:02:47.940 You're just more resolute.

01:02:49.960 Things aren't as dramatic as maybe they once were.

01:02:53.060 You're able to overcome obstacles mentally that you may not have gotten over before.

01:03:01.200 Things don't always seem as dire.

01:03:03.660 You're not nearly as dramatic about events.

01:03:07.420 And ultimately, you're just a mentally stronger human being.

01:03:12.500 This works on all up intellectually.

01:03:14.560 You know more.

01:03:15.860 And what you know translates.

01:03:17.580 If we're talking about jiu-jitsu, intellectually, what you know about levers and leverage and your body and the chest that goes on, the mental gymnastics and chest that goes on, that applies to every other facet of life.

01:03:32.680 So intellectually, you're more capable.

01:03:35.260 I mean on every level, you're better when you place yourself under what he said, voluntary discomfort.

01:03:41.140 There was a church leader a few years ago who was speaking to youth about one of the best ways to withstand temptation.

01:03:57.840 And one of his recommendations was a monthly fast.

01:04:04.280 And at first, I thought, oh, interesting.

01:04:06.500 Like, I wonder why.

01:04:07.940 Right?

01:04:08.120 Like, it's like some spiritual, like, woohoo thing.

01:04:11.400 Right?

01:04:12.180 And then as I thought about it, I'm like, of course.

01:04:15.360 Obviously.

01:04:16.200 I just went 24 hours saying no to my mind, constantly going, nope, I'm not going to eat it.

01:04:21.660 Oh, I'm so hungry.

01:04:22.680 Please.

01:04:23.080 I just want to eat that.

01:04:24.160 All right.

01:04:24.540 And you're constantly – and you're building resilience.

01:04:27.760 You're building strength, mental strength and grit to say no to something that is tempting you.

01:04:33.120 And literally by just doing that with food, you can then transcend that to pornography or the temptation to be angry with someone or overreactive or something else.

01:04:45.400 And it's really interesting.

01:04:46.600 Not to get all, like, biblical here.

01:04:48.740 But – and you've heard this, I'm sure, Ryan, before, that this concept that temptations will kind of go with us, right, in the afterlife a little bit.

01:05:00.940 And you'll still have these desires.

01:05:02.680 But it's easier to address them on earth kind of mentality.

01:05:05.380 Sorry, guys.

01:05:05.940 This is totally a little – may be odd for some people to have this conversation.

01:05:09.660 But I've always wondered about that.

01:05:11.120 I thought, wow, that's really interesting.

01:05:12.700 Like, I wonder why that is.

01:05:13.860 And I think it is is because our ability to understand and learn with a body is easier.

01:05:22.220 That the actual physical element allows us to learn things mentally that makes it very hard for us to otherwise learn.

01:05:29.800 And so if I look at jiu-jitsu, for instance, if I feel the movement and I learn the movement through physical process,

01:05:37.920 that is so drastically different than me sitting on my bed and watching YouTube videos of jiu-jitsu moves and going, okay, got it.

01:05:47.240 Right.

01:05:47.480 I don't got it.

01:05:48.480 I had to have the physical element to be able to mentally understand how to do something.

01:05:54.260 Right.

01:05:54.660 And I think it transcends to almost all aspects of life.

01:05:58.420 My ability to deal with an uncomfortable conversation at work is no different than the uncomfortable conversation I had with myself about pushing that extra rep.

01:06:08.520 But it's easier for me to comprehend and learn through a physical process and then intellectually understand versus strictly just intellectually.

01:06:18.060 I agree.

01:06:18.880 I think that – the way I think about this is that you need the immediate feedback.

01:06:23.760 You have to have the feedback.

01:06:25.320 And the body does the immediateness.

01:06:26.900 That the body is the feedback, right?

01:06:28.700 So think about, for example – well, you talked about jiu-jitsu.

01:06:32.380 I'll come back to that in a second.

01:06:33.800 But again, we'll go back to archery.

01:06:35.520 When I release an arrow, if I can't see where it goes, I can't improve anything.

01:06:43.860 Like I don't know what it did.

01:06:46.160 Did it go high and left, low and right?

01:06:47.920 Like where did the arrow go?

01:06:49.880 What was the flight path of the arrow?

01:06:52.480 If I can't see that, then there's no correction I can make.

01:06:56.780 I mean I can make corrections, but it may or may not work.

01:06:59.900 If I just watch a video on YouTube – in fact, I did this.

01:07:03.660 I've got a great example of this.

01:07:05.340 I trained this morning.

01:07:07.280 So last night I was looking at a YouTube video and I'm like, I wonder what I can learn.

01:07:11.920 And on the video, it was a video of loop chokes.

01:07:15.480 So I'm like, oh, that's cool.

01:07:16.720 Like I learned a little bit about that at immersion camp.

01:07:18.820 Just briefly watched a couple, watched like the video where it was like the 10 most savage loop chokes in history.

01:07:26.000 I'm like, well, this is awesome.

01:07:27.580 So this morning I was training and there was a position where I felt like, you know what?

01:07:32.120 I might be able to try this.

01:07:33.080 And I attempted it and it didn't work as seamlessly as I thought it should.

01:07:39.980 And I had my one arm across his lapel under his neck and I was bringing the other one over the top to slide it down in there.

01:07:47.340 And it just wasn't like going.

01:07:50.800 I'm like, why is this not working?

01:07:51.960 And I held it longer than maybe I should have.

01:07:54.000 But I'm like, I really want to figure this out.

01:07:56.780 And I made a couple of adjustments with my body.

01:08:00.100 Like I turned a little bit and it just slid right in and I was able to finish the submission.

01:08:05.300 I needed the feedback, which is the pressure of Brody, my training partner.

01:08:11.240 I needed his feedback in order for me to see how to be more effective.

01:08:15.120 Because if he wasn't pushing on me and I thought, oh, somebody is actually just going to let me choke them out, you're not going to really improve.

01:08:24.120 So that instant feedback, that immediate physical feedback is what connects the dots.

01:08:31.300 And without that, you're just kind of flying around in the dark wondering if what you're doing is working or not.

01:08:37.580 Which transcends to the benefit of after-action review.

01:08:41.400 Of course.

01:08:42.400 Because in some cases, we don't pause and we don't get the feedback.

01:08:46.500 Of course.

01:08:47.020 Oh, that worked.

01:08:48.340 Right?

01:08:48.660 Go.

01:08:48.900 No.

01:08:49.140 Go, go.

01:08:49.560 Keep going.

01:08:50.000 Just keep going.

01:08:50.940 No.

01:08:51.160 We pause for a second.

01:08:52.320 What went well?

01:08:53.440 What did not go well?

01:08:54.680 What can I do to continue the positive aspects?

01:08:58.040 What can I course correct in the future?

01:09:00.440 And it's a natural process for us to immediately get the feedback so we can course correct and pivot or continue doing what we did well.

01:09:09.480 Right.

01:09:10.320 Yep.

01:09:10.520 That's exactly right.

01:09:11.860 Cool.

01:09:12.680 Well, let's wrap it up for the day.

01:09:14.760 Sounds good.

01:09:16.120 These questions, as you guys, as we mentioned earlier, come from our Facebook group.

01:09:20.000 Join us there.

01:09:20.820 Facebook.com slash group slash Order of Man.

01:09:23.500 And, of course, you can join us in the exclusive Brotherhood, the Iron Council, by going to OrderofMan.com slash Iron Council.

01:09:32.720 Legacy is still open June 11th through the 14th, 2020.

01:09:36.280 This is our father and son event or father and young man event for ages 8 to 15 years old.

01:09:43.160 You can learn more about Legacy.

01:09:44.940 Jump to our YouTube channel.

01:09:47.160 Watch previous videos, promo videos that we've done around Legacy to kind of get an idea of what that experience might be like.

01:09:53.820 And you can learn more about Legacy by going to OrderofMan.com slash Legacy.

01:09:58.960 I'm assuming, Ryan, the main event is full.

01:10:02.160 We opened up a few spots.

01:10:03.560 As of this morning, we have four spots remaining.

01:10:06.600 Four spots, guys.

01:10:07.760 So, act quickly.

01:10:09.140 That's May 29th through the 31st, 2020.

01:10:13.160 OrderofMan.com slash main event.

01:10:16.280 Five spots left.

01:10:17.720 For Iron Council members, if you sign up, there's a dinner of the night of the 28th that's just for the Iron Council.

01:10:24.380 Ryan mentioned a few things about homeschooling, reaching out to him.

01:10:27.140 If you had some questions, you can do so by following him on Instagram or Twitter at Ryan Mickler.

01:10:33.880 That's R-Y-A-N-M-I-C-H-L-E-R. 1.00

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01:10:48.440 Yes, sir.

01:10:50.000 The other thing I would say is right now, I believe we have 61,000, roughly, subscribers on YouTube.

01:10:57.600 Cool.

01:10:57.860 My first benchmark, the benchmark that I'm after right now is 100,000 subscribers.

01:11:02.300 100.

01:11:02.520 And I remember not long ago, it was only 50,000.

01:11:06.260 Right.

01:11:06.860 Yeah.

01:11:07.260 I mean, even three weeks ago, it seems like it was right around 43,000.

01:11:12.060 So we've gained almost 20,000, about 18,000 new subscribers in the past three weeks.

01:11:16.860 So we're really, really trying to grow that.

01:11:19.240 Go subscribe, share the videos, leave comments over on YouTube, youtube.com slash orderofman.

01:11:24.540 All right, guys, we're going to get out of here for today.

01:11:26.320 We'll be back on Friday for the Friday Field Notes.

01:11:28.680 I appreciate you.

01:11:29.420 Great questions today.

01:11:30.920 Thanks for asking those questions.

01:11:32.460 They were thoughtful.

01:11:33.440 And I think we addressed some things that we haven't before.

01:11:35.760 So again, appreciate you.

01:11:37.760 All right, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:11:40.880 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:11:43.780 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:11:47.840 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - October 09, 2019

Embracing Discomfort, Overcoming Overwhelm, and Connecting Action and Reaction ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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