Order of Man - Embracing Strength and Reinvention

00:00:00.000 Within each one of us lies untapped potential waiting to be unleashed.

00:00:04.100 Most men go to their graves without realizing that potential.

00:00:07.560 My guest today, strongman Chris Duffin is not one of those men, and he's encouraging

00:00:12.040 you how to unlock what has been dormant for so long in his new book, The Eagle and the

00:00:17.060 Dragon.

00:00:17.860 Today, we talk about what the eagle and the dragon signify in ourselves, stepping into

00:00:22.800 fear and confrontation, how to differentiate between functional and dysfunctional relationships,

00:00:28.080 the pursuit of purpose, and ultimately embracing strength and reinvention.

00:00:33.400 You're a man of action.

00:00:34.900 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:36.360 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:39.060 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:43.780 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:48.820 This is your life.

00:00:49.920 This is who you are.

00:00:51.340 This is who you will become.

00:00:53.040 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:58.260 Gentlemen, what is going on today?

00:00:59.660 My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of the podcast and the movement

00:01:03.540 that is Order of Man.

00:01:05.020 You know what we're all about here.

00:01:06.200 If you've been with us for any amount of time, it's all about giving you the tools and the

00:01:09.800 conversations and resources you need to be a more capable man.

00:01:14.080 That's it in its simplest form, helping you become a more capable man.

00:01:18.400 Myself as well.

00:01:19.120 I'm inspired by what you guys are doing and how you're showing up in your lives and in

00:01:23.600 your homes and in your businesses and communities and everywhere that you are showing up.

00:01:26.840 So I want to thank you for that.

00:01:28.280 I do want to ask you very, very quickly, if you would make sure that you go subscribe

00:01:33.360 to our YouTube channel.

00:01:34.720 We are just under 96,000, I believe, subscribers, and we're really on this push to hit 100,000.

00:01:41.640 So if, well, if everybody went and just subscribed, we'd be well over that.

00:01:46.460 We'd probably be closer to 200,000 subscribers.

00:01:49.100 So I'm asking you to go ahead and do that.

00:01:51.080 Take care of that.

00:01:51.680 Subscribe at youtube.com slash order of man.

00:01:55.300 We're really starting to grow over there.

00:01:56.680 And of course, you'll get to see the video of me and my guests, which is an added feature

00:02:00.160 and benefit.

00:02:00.640 And hopefully it serves you on your, on your path to become a more capable man.

00:02:06.000 Guys, not a whole lot going on today.

00:02:08.100 I do want to make a very, very quick mention of one of my show sponsors and our friends

00:02:13.000 over at Sorenex.

00:02:14.460 Now for the month of December, they've decided to dub it deadcember as in deadlifts.

00:02:21.640 Now my entire family is going to be participating in Sorenex is deadcember.

00:02:26.700 And also we're going to make this the physical challenge inside of the iron council, which

00:02:30.820 is our exclusive brotherhood.

00:02:32.520 So if you want to get on the wagon with us and improve your deadlift, which I don't think

00:02:39.960 it's out of the realm of saying that it will improve every facet of your life.

00:02:44.220 We don't make decisions in a vacuum.

00:02:45.380 So if you're going to get stronger physically, mentally, you're going to get stronger.

00:02:48.240 And of course, that's going to pour over and manifest itself and the results you see in

00:02:52.380 your life.

00:02:53.200 So head to Sorenex.com, S-O-R-I-N-E-X.com.

00:02:57.140 And you can get a shirt and all their other stuff they have over there and learn about what

00:03:00.800 they're doing for deadcember.

00:03:01.960 And then of course, follow them on Instagram as well.

00:03:04.520 If you do want to join us in the iron council and participate in that challenge along with

00:03:09.300 the topic of the month, which is processes and systems, then do that at orderofman.com

00:03:14.940 slash iron council.

00:03:16.040 So those are your marching orders.

00:03:17.580 I gave you, gave you three things, youtube.com slash order of man.

00:03:20.900 Subscribe, uh, follow Sorenex, uh, get involved in deadcember and then join us in the iron

00:03:25.660 council again at orderofman.com slash iron council.

00:03:28.880 All right, that's it.

00:03:30.200 That's all I've got by way of announcements.

00:03:31.460 Let's get into the conversation.

00:03:32.820 Chris Duffin.

00:03:33.580 I know this is a man for many of you listening needs no introduction.

00:03:37.260 He's been on the podcast before.

00:03:38.940 I think it was roughly, I want to say three years ago about, uh, but with his new book

00:03:43.440 coming out, the Eagle and the dragon, which is an amazing title and what it stands for

00:03:48.260 is even better.

00:03:49.040 Uh, Chris and I thought it would be good for us to sit down again for a revisit.

00:03:52.580 He's one of the strongest men on the planet.

00:03:54.800 A lot of you guys know that, but he's also an incredible thinker.

00:03:57.500 And in his new book, again, the Eagle and the dragon, he illustrates his, um, shall we call

00:04:04.080 it interesting?

00:04:04.960 Yes.

00:04:05.500 Interesting childhood, uh, and how he raised himself from those conditions to be successful

00:04:09.760 as a businessman, a family man, a strong man, all the areas that we want to improve as well.

00:04:13.820 So I can't wait to share this one with you today.

00:04:17.640 Chris, what's going on, man?

00:04:18.680 Thanks for joining me back again after three years on the, on the order of man podcast.

00:04:23.080 Yeah.

00:04:23.480 Looking forward to chatting.

00:04:24.440 It's been a while, man.

00:04:25.800 Yeah.

00:04:26.220 Lots, lots going on, I'm sure in both of our lives.

00:04:28.600 And, uh, I was pretty excited when you reached out with your, with your new book and wanted

00:04:32.180 to do this again.

00:04:32.920 I know that, uh, we had a lot of positive response when you first came on and just in

00:04:37.700 reading through your book, man, absolutely incredible story that I kind of wish I would

00:04:41.860 have known when we first had our conversation, we would have had a lot more to talk about.

00:04:45.460 That's for sure.

00:04:46.800 What was the, uh, what was the catalyst for writing the book?

00:04:49.420 It, uh, it's been something I've actually wanted to do for an enormously long time.

00:04:54.180 I know, you know, everybody's got, you know, my story is not worse or better than anybody

00:04:58.080 else's, but I definitely have had a, an interesting scope, uh, as far as my life arc.

00:05:03.540 And I wanted to share the lessons from that.

00:05:06.400 And I got to a point that's been, you know, all my businesses are centered around physical

00:05:12.100 strength and which is a critical thing, I think in pursuit, uh, you know, that we all

00:05:18.000 need to pursue, but arguably mental, emotional, or even spiritual strength are much more important.

00:05:24.840 I mean, you can't, in my mind, can't, you can't miss any one of those pillars.

00:05:28.340 Um, but I, I, it's been something I've wanted to have for a long time and I felt the best

00:05:33.900 way to express it was to really dive really deep into it and, uh, and do a book.

00:05:38.920 And so I finally got my businesses to the point where, you know, I'm more in a, uh, a mentoring

00:05:44.960 role than a direct like operations management role.

00:05:48.820 And so that allowed me to take the time away because I spent, you know, pretty solid, like

00:05:53.780 nine months or longer, like that was kind of my focus.

00:05:57.780 And, you know, it makes things, uh, a little more challenging if you're trying to run, you

00:06:02.540 know, run some businesses and train and be, be a, you know, be a, be a father and a husband

00:06:07.580 and all that.

00:06:08.320 Right.

00:06:08.640 So, you know, you don't want to let those really key important things, uh, set to the

00:06:14.480 side.

00:06:14.700 So it was really just like getting to a point where I could create the space that I could do

00:06:18.440 it.

00:06:19.200 Yeah.

00:06:19.400 I'm, I mean, I'm glad to talk about the key important things.

00:06:21.940 It seems to me that more and more, whether it's probably just social media really, but

00:06:27.480 everybody's talking about their business and being an entrepreneur and which I know you

00:06:31.100 don't like that term.

00:06:31.860 I don't tend to like that either.

00:06:33.140 It's overused and what I like to call most everybody out there.

00:06:37.680 Entrepreneurs.

00:06:38.100 That's right.

00:06:38.400 Yeah.

00:06:38.920 No, you're a real estate agent.

00:06:40.420 You're a rep for, you know, right.

00:06:42.820 For CBD oil.

00:06:44.380 You're, this is not that you're not an entrepreneur.

00:06:46.780 Everybody's right.

00:06:47.420 Maybe even you're a business owner, but you're not an, you know, like, yeah, you know, it's

00:06:53.080 that stuff's important.

00:06:54.180 You know, the business stuff, the business aspect, career aspirations, all that stuff's

00:06:57.280 important, but you know, so is this other, this other facet that we don't hear a whole

00:07:00.580 lot about, which is family and taking care of yourself.

00:07:03.160 And yeah, it's just something that seems to be, uh, not as, not as focused on because

00:07:09.200 it's, it's, it's sexy, right?

00:07:10.540 It's glamorous to have the business and be the entrepreneur and, and, and, and be hustling

00:07:15.300 and grinding and it's like, man, I just, I want to play, I want to play in the yards

00:07:18.780 with my kids.

00:07:19.860 Like, that's what I want to do.

00:07:21.360 Why are we doing those things to begin with?

00:07:23.760 Right.

00:07:24.000 Yeah.

00:07:24.460 And it's to create that for, you know, a good environment for those, for, for that.

00:07:29.240 And, uh, I think people miss it.

00:07:30.940 And that's like what I really tried to drive home in the book is getting people to think

00:07:34.720 deeper about, you know, step one.

00:07:37.380 Like people want to jump to these like goals, bucket lists, like whatever, like chasing

00:07:42.320 whatever's popular at the time, you know, right now entrepreneur is the popular thing

00:07:47.200 to chase.

00:07:47.660 Like what, but like, what are your values in life?

00:07:51.640 Like, what do you, how do you want to live?

00:07:53.720 What people do you want to have around you?

00:07:55.460 What do you want to get out of life?

00:07:56.680 What do you want to contribute?

00:07:58.280 Uh, you know, what are the key things for you?

00:08:00.900 And then start like figuring out like, okay, what are the goals I need to have that are going

00:08:06.760 to help me realize that.

00:08:09.020 And, uh, you know, people, people don't want to walk like that's the foundational piece

00:08:13.520 and it's hard.

00:08:14.200 Like you've got to really be honest with yourself and ask some deep questions to get there to

00:08:19.440 know that.

00:08:21.000 Yeah.

00:08:21.420 It seems to me like people are, are chasing other people's dreams because that's what

00:08:25.600 they've been told is important, right?

00:08:27.000 You have to do X, Y, and Z, because if you don't do that, then you're not going to be

00:08:31.100 successful or you're not a man or you're not filling the blank.

00:08:33.880 And so we run around and pursue all these other goals.

00:08:36.440 And, you know, in a lot of ways, the, the worst thing that can happen is you can hit

00:08:40.000 those goals and then you realize, oh man, for the past three or four decades, I've been

00:08:44.680 chasing the wrong thing and I'm not happy still, even though I've achieved this.

00:08:48.600 Yeah.

00:08:48.960 That have actually counterproductive to those values that you want in life.

00:08:52.340 Yeah.

00:08:52.840 Like, and it can be like, and even just like people, you know, and you could be chasing what

00:08:58.980 you feel that you want.

00:09:00.180 And this is like a frustration for me is like people, they, they often like identify with

00:09:05.860 maybe some physical things or trips or whatever it is.

00:09:08.780 And not really like, why do I want those things?

00:09:12.520 Because usually it's an expression of something else.

00:09:16.520 Like in my book, I talk about like, Hey, if you want to, you know, uh, you know, a mansion

00:09:21.500 and a fancy cars, like there's lots of different reasons why people would want those things.

00:09:27.100 Okay.

00:09:28.240 For me, if I wanted those, that would be because security for myself and my family, if I know

00:09:33.940 if I had those things, that's not really what I'm after, but like using the example, like

00:09:38.720 that's what it would mean to me.

00:09:41.620 Like, so maybe internally I've like got, Hey, I want this stuff.

00:09:44.580 And if I go chase that, I could end up over leveraging myself to achieve it and got it

00:09:49.880 and boom.

00:09:50.500 And what have I done?

00:09:51.600 I've created the opposite of security.

00:09:53.340 Cause now I'm like locked into this mortgage and all the, you know, all these things.

00:09:57.300 And I've actually created, I thought, I thought I got what I wanted, but I didn't understand

00:10:02.080 why, why, why I wanted those things.

00:10:06.120 And that's what I really want people to kind of dive deeper and understand those wise.

00:10:11.340 Do you feel like this is pretty prevalent in the fitness, the health, the strength industry?

00:10:16.940 Is that a lot of, uh, external validation rather than this internal validation and values

00:10:21.980 that you're talking about now?

00:10:23.380 I do.

00:10:24.480 I really do.

00:10:25.280 And I've, I've been doing some posts more recently on, you know, just kind of not in

00:10:29.600 depth, but like, you know, here's a picture of me and my family going for a walk and like,

00:10:33.900 Hey, guess what?

00:10:34.580 You know, I'm not a millionaire and I don't want to be a millionaire, but I'm rich.

00:10:39.020 I'm rich in all the things that I have because this is what I want.

00:10:42.580 And I'll list them out.

00:10:43.400 Like, what are the things that you want?

00:10:45.360 Or, you know, the other day I was this week, uh, I was putting new registration tags on

00:10:51.560 my truck, right?

00:10:52.300 Cause everybody always wants to post their new vehicles and this and that online.

00:10:55.660 Like, look at my success.

00:10:57.040 Look at my, everybody needs to have this.

00:11:00.080 And there's, there's some really popular figures that I like that really say, you know, this

00:11:04.660 is the stuff you need to chase and it's okay to have it.

00:11:06.920 And I'm like, but that's not for everyone.

00:11:09.600 So I'm putting the tags on and I realized, Oh, I'm putting the tags on my 15.

00:11:14.520 This is 15 years coming up that I'm driving the same daily driver.

00:11:19.180 And you know what?

00:11:20.280 I'm proud of it.

00:11:21.080 Like, you know what?

00:11:21.900 Maybe I'm going to, maybe I'm going to have it for 20.

00:11:23.700 I'm still going to be driving the same thing.

00:11:25.460 And, uh, you know, I, it's just, I don't know.

00:11:29.860 I'm just like, because that's opposite of like really what we see promoted out there,

00:11:33.760 particularly in that, that, yeah, the fitness realm.

00:11:35.900 I think it's really, really prevalent.

00:11:37.980 Yeah, I bet.

00:11:38.540 I bet.

00:11:38.900 So that's why it's when you said earlier how there's other strengths, right?

00:11:43.120 There's, there's physical, there's mental, there's emotional, there's, there's, uh, mental

00:11:48.200 strength and all these things.

00:11:49.780 I think that's, I think that's important.

00:11:51.700 I think that's what makes a well-rounded man and I, and I don't actually think they

00:11:55.720 can be separated.

00:11:57.380 I think if you can learn to become mentally stronger, then that's only going to help you

00:12:03.160 become physically stronger and vice versa.

00:12:05.800 Absolutely.

00:12:06.480 I mean, that's, let's, that goes back to, uh, you know, Socratic philosophy, right?

00:12:11.640 I mean, that's, this dates way back that, and, uh, it's only really in our modern age that

00:12:16.860 we've kind of started separating these things out.

00:12:18.880 So, oh, you're, you know, if you're, if you're strong, you know, physically, you're

00:12:23.420 probably, you know, you're a, you're a meathead, right?

00:12:25.620 You're, and, uh, and really to me, you know, strength is, and I speak to this, well, I, and

00:12:32.880 a lot of different platforms, but strength is becoming resilient to stress, our ability

00:12:38.420 to handle increasing, you know, demands for ourselves.

00:12:42.920 It's the ability to, to adapt and become a stronger version of ourselves from any stress

00:12:47.980 that comes at us.

00:12:48.880 Right.

00:12:50.380 And that, that's not, everybody understands that when it's training.

00:12:54.260 Yeah.

00:12:54.560 If I go to the gym and I add five pounds and I do this, like I'm, I'm getting stronger,

00:13:00.540 I'm getting more resilient.

00:13:01.660 I'm becoming, you know, and you're becoming physically a better version of yourself.

00:13:06.240 You know, if you get bumped by a car or something like that, you're not going to be hurt as bad.

00:13:10.900 You're not going to, if you fall down, like this is, this is that, but it's the exact

00:13:14.340 same things when it comes to like mental and emotional strength.

00:13:19.560 Like if you don't challenge yourself, you're going to get soft.

00:13:23.660 Just like if you don't go to the gym, like you need to be challenging your mind.

00:13:28.920 You need to be chasing things that are, you know, we don't need to be seeking comfort.

00:13:33.700 We need to be doing the exact opposite of that.

00:13:36.180 If I feel comfortable in life, I need to go find something that scares me, a new project

00:13:43.300 for you.

00:13:43.900 Like I see it all the time, like on your platforms following you, you know, you're, you're chasing

00:13:48.360 these things for your business.

00:13:49.440 It's not because you're wanting to be an entrepreneur, but like that continual, you know, demand to

00:13:54.600 be a better version, trying to create and grow forward.

00:13:58.120 And that's what is that you're, you're putting, you're putting the stress.

00:14:01.920 Yes, I know you are like on yourself on, you know, and, uh, that's how we become better.

00:14:09.500 Like it's adapting to those things.

00:14:11.660 And if you don't have them in your life, it's the same thing.

00:14:14.560 If you don't quit going to the gym, you start atrophying.

00:14:17.360 Right.

00:14:18.220 Yeah.

00:14:18.780 I think it's easier in a lot of ways when it comes to physical fitness, because it's

00:14:23.500 tangible, right?

00:14:24.540 So you put five more pounds on your bar and you can physically see the representation of

00:14:29.780 your strength versus it's not as, it's not as easy to recognize if you're more mentally

00:14:36.640 tough, right?

00:14:37.880 So it's the same thing with business.

00:14:39.420 I think a lot of guys will naturally gravitate towards business over being heavily involved

00:14:43.700 with their family.

00:14:44.600 Because if I go into business or finance, for example, I can see, well, I've got more

00:14:48.900 clients.

00:14:49.360 I made more revenue, but what is being a better dad even mean, right?

00:14:53.500 Like, how do you wrap that up and make it tangible?

00:14:56.080 I, I, I love your openness about, uh, your discussions of a number of years back when

00:15:01.640 you and your wife were struggling with your relationship.

00:15:04.640 And that's exactly, exactly it.

00:15:06.860 Those are, those are hard measurables.

00:15:08.740 You don't get the, my paycheck has gone up.

00:15:11.360 Right.

00:15:11.700 Like, I'm winning for my family.

00:15:13.360 I've got a bigger paycheck, but you're coming home.

00:15:15.700 You're not engaged.

00:15:17.060 You're not, you know, like you're working on the week, you know, like you just not there

00:15:21.060 for those people.

00:15:22.180 And at the end of the day, they don't care, you know, that you've got a bigger paycheck

00:15:26.860 and maybe there's more food and, you know, you know, fancier food in the fridge or whatever

00:15:31.020 it is.

00:15:32.040 Um, and, uh, yeah, it's, it's sometimes kind of people miss that.

00:15:36.520 But even on the business side, you see a lot of people that actually their goal is to find

00:15:42.660 that cake job.

00:15:43.980 Like, oh, I make all this money, but I don't really have to do anything, you know, like,

00:15:47.920 and then ease through.

00:15:49.000 All I got to do is get through the week.

00:15:51.660 And then I've got the weekend, you know, I can watch, you know, watch the game, kick

00:15:56.220 it with my friends, go golfing, whatever it is.

00:15:58.720 Get drunk, whatever it is you do.

00:15:59.940 Yeah, exactly.

00:16:01.240 And I'm like, you know what, like the best day of the week is, well, it actually, for

00:16:05.660 me, like starts Sunday night.

00:16:06.940 I start kind of like thinking about here's the things that I want to accomplish this week.

00:16:10.940 This is what I'm going to knock out.

00:16:12.280 Like, like it should be, those challenges should be rewarding.

00:16:16.360 They should be work just like going to the gym, right?

00:16:18.440 Like, like, you don't, you don't just go in going, oh, yeah, this is going to be, you

00:16:23.100 know, you, you, you go in to push yourself and then you feel the rewards of like knowing

00:16:27.620 that you put that effort in.

00:16:30.240 Again, nobody knows we've done that.

00:16:32.160 So that's true.

00:16:34.280 You don't get to post that kind of stuff on Instagram and get all the likes and the accolades

00:16:38.740 and everything else, which is kind of a, kind of a shame because what we end up seeing

00:16:43.880 is everybody's highlight reel and all the good things they're doing.

00:16:48.320 And you never really see the amount of effort and work that went into securing.

00:16:52.640 I mean, uh, our place is a prime example.

00:16:54.960 We live in this, this beautiful home.

00:16:56.800 We've got some land and people are like, oh, you're so lucky.

00:16:59.400 You're so fortunate.

00:17:00.320 It's like, yeah, I mean, in a lot of ways we're fortunate, but I spent the last 10 years

00:17:07.360 of ups and downs and struggles in my marriage and struggles with the business and making, uh,

00:17:12.960 mistakes to get to this point.

00:17:15.900 I think the lesson is not that we're here.

00:17:18.140 The lesson is found in the past 10 years of struggle.

00:17:20.900 Absolutely.

00:17:21.800 And that's, that's exactly, I mean, that is like the foundation, like that book, being

00:17:25.880 able to show people like they see, you know, people that follow me, your audience may not,

00:17:30.600 you know, know exactly who I am, but I've been really successful in the athletic world.

00:17:34.860 I've been really successful in the business world.

00:17:37.820 A second time around now, as I do the air quotes as an entrepreneur versus working for

00:17:42.620 somebody else, I guess technically I am because I own like five different, five different businesses

00:17:48.320 right now.

00:17:48.800 But, uh, um, and they see like the hobbies, like building vehicles from the ground, like

00:17:54.700 all this.

00:17:55.060 And like, they just see that and like, oh my God, but they don't see like what I had to

00:18:00.880 get through to get here.

00:18:02.920 And, you know, and that's really what I wanted to, to talk through.

00:18:06.620 And the fact that that is like, for me, this is, this is the life I want to live.

00:18:10.760 I'm not after something like, again, that extravagant lifestyle, I'm not after being a million

00:18:16.000 doing these other, you know, I don't want to be the next meathead millionaire or anything.

00:18:20.160 Like I want to have time and space for my family to be able for us to be able to do the

00:18:26.440 things that we want to do.

00:18:27.500 I want to be able to do like my passion, um, is as my, as my living, my ability to try

00:18:36.020 to help people become stronger versions of themselves, giving them out of pain and creating

00:18:40.620 new innovative solutions, which also mixes in with my hobbies of creating, designing

00:18:45.980 products and, and tools and all this sort of stuff.

00:18:48.860 And everything just flows together.

00:18:50.500 Now there's no, and that's what I'm after.

00:18:53.260 Like work is no longer work.

00:18:55.580 It's a, it's.

00:18:57.500 An expression of who I am.

00:18:59.840 Right.

00:19:00.340 Yeah.

00:19:00.540 It's not, it's, it's not that like traditional nine to five where you just like grind through

00:19:05.200 it and you're living, like you said earlier for the weekend and you're dreading Monday

00:19:08.540 and you start acting differently.

00:19:10.340 Look, I've been in a situation where I've turned into a complete dick on Sunday night because

00:19:17.360 I know what's going to happen in the next 12 hours.

00:19:20.720 And I'm going to have to get my butt up and go to a job that I absolutely despise.

00:19:24.080 And then all of it pours over into my family dynamic.

00:19:26.460 It's not, it was not a great way to live.

00:19:29.260 And there's a lot of guys that are in that boat right now, man.

00:19:31.720 I, yep, there is.

00:19:33.280 Yep.

00:19:34.080 I think we ought to back up.

00:19:35.380 We kind of just jumped right into it, which, which I like, and we're having this powerful

00:19:38.440 conversation.

00:19:39.120 But, but the book's called the Eagle and the Dragon.

00:19:41.300 And as I was reading through it, I was really fascinated with, with your tattoos, which is

00:19:46.000 where the book title comes from and the significance and meaning of the Eagle and the Dragon.

00:19:51.380 Can you walk us through that a little bit?

00:19:53.100 So the guys have some context.

00:19:55.040 Yeah, absolutely.

00:19:56.160 So yeah, I've got two tattoos that kind of cover most of my body.

00:19:59.100 Uh, when I, the first one I had, I'd done around 20 years old and it is, there's a shackle

00:20:05.480 around my ankle, a chain and some flower, you know, some vines and other stuff that run

00:20:09.820 up my leg.

00:20:10.380 And there's a big giant Eagle, uh, on my stomach and he's tied to that chain.

00:20:15.560 And there's a big giant Eagle across my back.

00:20:17.580 Same thing tied to that same.

00:20:19.520 And they're, they're taking flight, not a traditional like Eagle tattoo pose that you see.

00:20:24.340 And they're trying to take off and fly.

00:20:26.780 And I got those done at that age because it was all about, I really believe that you could,

00:20:34.060 you could fly to whatever heights, like accomplishing whatever you wanted in the world.

00:20:42.200 But the only thing really holding you back at the end was yourself.

00:20:47.080 And that's, that's the idea behind there.

00:20:49.180 So a little context to that is, is my story.

00:20:52.420 So, um, you know, I grew up by that time I had lived my life, probably about half of

00:20:59.020 my life up to that point was homeless.

00:21:01.860 So we're talking, you know, I was, uh, I'll give you a sample story, you know, six years

00:21:06.620 old, you know, we were living by a little stream up in the, uh, uh, Northern California

00:21:13.020 wilderness and there was rattlesnake dens all around.

00:21:16.440 And so to avoid them, we like chopped down some small, uh, uh, uh, alder trees and took

00:21:21.780 the poles and lashed them up into the trees so that we could sleep up in the, have our

00:21:26.020 beds up in there.

00:21:26.720 Cause I had a, I was six, I had a brother who was four and a sister who was two and my

00:21:31.980 mother was pregnant.

00:21:33.540 We had no transportation or anything like that.

00:21:35.840 We were just living in the woods and, uh, there was a half built house, you know, down the

00:21:42.100 road.

00:21:42.440 We were kind of, uh, off of their property a little bit.

00:21:45.060 These other, you know, hippie folks that never were able to finish building their home and

00:21:49.260 had this big giant, uh, kind of cauldron like thing or watering trough.

00:21:54.440 It must've been like 10 feet around, a couple of feet deep, like raised up.

00:21:58.800 So like once a week or so we'd go build a fire under it, go dig up some soap stone or

00:22:04.840 soap root.

00:22:05.500 So we could spend it all day, heating it up and take a bath.

00:22:09.460 And, uh, crazy.

00:22:10.460 That's so wild.

00:22:11.540 So for entertainment, we'd like catch dragonflies and like tie playing cards to them and then let

00:22:17.900 them loose at the same time.

00:22:19.220 And so we could know which one won the race.

00:22:21.720 Uh, really?

00:22:22.800 Yeah.

00:22:23.060 Like there's no Toby, no nothing, you know, like, and, uh, but I I'm sitting there, this

00:22:29.280 is, uh, this is my first, uh, tale of about, uh, chasing fear, which I think is, it ties

00:22:35.680 to that mental and emotional aspect of like challenging yourself.

00:22:39.380 But this is a little extreme.

00:22:41.100 This is, but this is the environment I live in and, uh, there was rattlesnakes all over.

00:22:45.400 So my, my father or stepfather taught me how to capture them live.

00:22:51.100 Uh, so, and, uh, with a fork stick and, you know, making sure that you, you got them to

00:22:56.740 strike, catch them behind the neck.

00:22:58.060 But I'm here at six years old, you know, holding live rattlesnake in my hand with it wrapped

00:23:03.720 around, you know, my, my arm looking into its, looking down its, its throat, you know,

00:23:08.620 fangs hanging out.

00:23:09.540 And it's like, I'm, I'm holding death in my hands, you know?

00:23:12.400 Yeah, for sure.

00:23:13.180 And, uh, you know, got to learn how to, where to cut it at.

00:23:16.040 So it doesn't, you know, the venom sacks don't, uh, explode, uh, or like contaminate

00:23:21.160 the meat.

00:23:22.020 But, uh, that's, that's the type of homelessness I'm talking about.

00:23:25.560 Like, you know, heating up jugs of water from the, you know, filling up jugs of water in

00:23:29.860 a stream, setting them in the sun on a rock so you could bathe yourself.

00:23:33.220 And this is while I'm like going to school through the years.

00:23:35.440 And, and then there was just some really bad stuff that happened.

00:23:38.440 I'm not going to dive really into deep depth of it, but, you know, there was intercounters

00:23:42.660 with, uh, murderers, obviously lots of, uh, drug running, drug abuse, all that stuff going

00:23:50.520 on around me.

00:23:52.220 And, uh, there was a time, uh, where the, the, the state came in and took me, I had, uh,

00:23:58.900 three sisters and a brother took us all into, uh, uh, into care.

00:24:04.920 And there was a year of doing that, which was a really dark time for me.

00:24:08.740 But, you know, there was actually an entertaining story, but let me finish this.

00:24:14.180 So my mom, I mentioned, she was pregnant there with the, uh, with the, by the rattlesnake

00:24:18.820 dens.

00:24:20.020 My, uh, so my second sister was born.

00:24:22.180 My, my mom had to, uh, she's a tough cookie.

00:24:24.240 Let me tell you, but it seems like it.

00:24:25.940 I mean, you'd have to be to be in that circumstance for sure.

00:24:28.220 She, she had to hike out to the, uh, the gravel road when she went into labor and flagged down

00:24:35.320 the first vehicle that finally came by, which happened to be a dump truck.

00:24:38.960 So she climbed into the back of the dump truck and they drove the dump truck, like into the

00:24:43.720 emergency room of the hospital.

00:24:45.120 She climbed up, she climbed out the back and went inside and birthed my sister.

00:24:49.360 Uh, so, Oh wow.

00:24:51.260 Oh my goodness.

00:24:52.040 And then a week later, you know, she's up there, you know, sitting, you know, in the camp,

00:24:55.920 you know, nursing my sister and, uh, yeah, anyway, so, so there's encounters with a, a serial

00:25:04.020 killer, human trafficking, like all sorts of shit during my, my upbringing.

00:25:09.060 It made it really, really rough.

00:25:10.520 Uh, I was definitely a loner, like not really cause we were moving all the time.

00:25:14.940 And, uh, by the time I got to high school, we finally had a stable, like stable home to

00:25:21.220 live in.

00:25:21.960 So, uh, my stepfather had won a disability suit, maybe got like five grand or something

00:25:28.120 like that.

00:25:28.520 And we were able to put a down payment on this mobile home out there in central Oregon.

00:25:32.920 And, uh, you know, it, it didn't have doors on the inside.

00:25:37.140 It didn't have a kitchen.

00:25:38.180 So we had to, you know, throw up some, uh, some lumber and things like that to mount

00:25:42.880 a sink too.

00:25:43.640 And, but it did have running water and electricity.

00:25:46.140 And so it ended up being a really like stable place for me while I went to high school again,

00:25:51.460 massive amount of like, you know, alcohol and drug stuff going on, you know, as well

00:25:56.760 during that time.

00:25:57.500 But, uh, um, so anyway, I ended up getting, uh, I, I did really well athlete, uh, academics,

00:26:06.120 all that stuff, got a full ride scholarship to, uh, go to an engineering school.

00:26:10.520 And a couple of years in, I ended up, uh, having to take custody of my three younger

00:26:15.600 sisters one at a time, um, and ended up raising all of them, uh, through their teenage years

00:26:21.100 into, uh, into adulthood.

00:26:23.420 Um, while I was finishing my engineering degrees, getting my master's and kind of pursuing my

00:26:28.320 career just to get them out of that environment.

00:26:30.260 So that's where, that's where I was at.

00:26:32.380 Like when I got that tattoo.

00:26:33.720 So, so how old were you when you got that tattoo?

00:26:37.140 Uh, I was about 20 years old.

00:26:39.180 Okay.

00:26:39.480 So you were just, just into college then about that time.

00:26:42.340 Yep.

00:26:42.780 Yep.

00:26:43.080 And so it was, to me, it was, well, and this is what I cover in the book.

00:26:47.980 It's, it's about discovering, you know, how go, how to go about discovering your strengths

00:26:53.100 and really realizing your full potential and not real separating your environment from

00:26:59.920 who you are.

00:27:00.580 And I think a lot of people in today's world really, really miss this.

00:27:04.340 Cause you talk to a lot of people and you ask them who they are and they will tell you

00:27:08.060 their, their victimhood, their bats.

00:27:11.900 I must, you know, um, you know, uh, I'm a person with alcoholic parents and this is why

00:27:17.500 I am the way I am.

00:27:19.100 I'm a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:27:21.020 I'm the guy with a bad back.

00:27:22.740 I'm like, they define themselves by these things that have happened to them.

00:27:26.480 Right.

00:27:27.780 And you know, my, my proposition and the way I live my life and the way I live my life

00:27:32.720 at that time too, was, you know, you are not your environment.

00:27:37.520 Sure.

00:27:37.640 Those things happen to you and they may affect you to some level, but you are defined by your

00:27:44.240 actions and responses to those things that happen to you, not by those things themselves.

00:27:50.960 And that's really what that first part of that book about is like separating and understanding.

00:27:56.420 Like I'm telling the story to you right now.

00:27:58.120 And it's literally just a story to me.

00:28:00.560 This is the, the, almost the entire book is not me anymore.

00:28:05.180 Those it's a story to help me articulate these messages and philosophies.

00:28:09.980 And that's why I share it because it's a really great way, uh, a story to articulate

00:28:15.080 those things, but you know, I, I'm, I'm, I'm not a homeless guy growing up in the woods.

00:28:21.920 Like I am, I am who I am today.

00:28:24.300 Right.

00:28:24.900 You know, and I have created that.

00:28:27.420 And that's, so that is actually the second half of the book.

00:28:30.020 So the second half of the book is a tattoo I had done just before I was 40.

00:28:34.020 And it's a, it's a, it's a dragon, um, it's an Ouroboros and it covers my entire upper

00:28:40.580 body.

00:28:40.900 So it's on my chest, this big dragon head, it wraps around my, my back, my shoulders

00:28:46.400 and comes back around and it's eating its own tail.

00:28:49.880 And that's the Ouroboros.

00:28:51.140 It's the continual renewal of life, the new, new beginnings, infinity, whatever you want

00:28:56.980 to call it out with the old in with the new.

00:28:59.660 And so for me, it's, it is around self-actualization.

00:29:04.840 It is purposely deciding.

00:29:06.840 So this is the, the, the first part of the book is about separating identity of self from

00:29:13.160 your environment and discovery of your capabilities.

00:29:17.440 The second half of the book is about really more purposeful action.

00:29:22.160 It's about deciding specifically who you want to be and then how you become that person.

00:29:30.380 So, so it's a very purposeful in, in, in its, in its nature.

00:29:36.000 And, um, and so that's, that's where the entire second half of the book about, and that

00:29:42.300 is, is brought about like me leaving.

00:29:44.720 I had a very successful executive career.

00:29:47.280 I was doing company turnarounds around like aerospace manufacturing companies, automotive

00:29:51.400 manufacturing.

00:29:52.360 Like I did this, I was sought after for doing this type of work.

00:29:55.480 Um, oh yeah, I lifted weights and stuff like that too.

00:29:59.380 Yes.

00:29:59.580 Somewhere in between somewhere in there, I threw up some weight.

00:30:03.180 I was ranked number one in the world for like eight years straight, blah, blah, blah,

00:30:05.580 blah, blah.

00:30:05.880 Anyway, uh, owned a gym on the side.

00:30:08.120 Did, you know, there's, there's lots of other pieces of story, right?

00:30:10.020 But, um, I'm just trying to hit the, the, the high points here, but it was coming into

00:30:14.620 about five years ago where I decided that, you know, what I needed, like what I needed to

00:30:21.620 do in the world was very specific in nature.

00:30:23.920 Um, I'm very good on the coaching and leadership.

00:30:28.020 And that's what I enjoy is like pushing people and having them find and discover more potential

00:30:33.320 in themselves than they ever thought possible.

00:30:35.260 And then the physical nature of things like I'm very good at, so like creating methodologies,

00:30:40.400 equipments, all this sort of stuff.

00:30:42.060 And so I walked away from that high powered career for the unknown.

00:30:48.440 Um, and, uh, a lot of it too, was also my kids getting older and, uh, realizing they're

00:30:56.920 going to be in sports both.

00:30:58.460 I'm training at a world-class level.

00:31:00.040 I'm a, you know, I'm an executive.

00:31:02.040 I've got some hobbies that consume a little bit of time.

00:31:04.180 Like what, what has to give here?

00:31:06.780 Like, is it family?

00:31:09.300 Is it the job?

00:31:11.180 Is it training?

00:31:12.700 Is it, you know, the, the things that bring me, you know, pleasure?

00:31:16.860 Uh, and I'm like, what's the lowest ranking one there?

00:31:20.880 Oh, it's the job.

00:31:22.380 I'm going to quit the job.

00:31:23.880 Right.

00:31:24.340 Logical opinion.

00:31:25.000 You know, when you're, when you're also making a lot of money.

00:31:28.480 Yeah.

00:31:28.880 I mean, that, that's, that's a key component.

00:31:30.780 Cause you do have responsibilities that you've got to take care of as well.

00:31:33.700 So, and, and that is like, and that is actually really key too, because it is like, you don't

00:31:38.920 get to, in my opinion.

00:31:39.920 So I, I'd consider it because the physical side of things really interests me.

00:31:43.220 I'd been considering going back to school to be a doctor for a long time, um, physical

00:31:48.340 therapy, chiropractic surgeon, something along those natures, right.

00:31:52.440 Orthopedics.

00:31:53.360 And, uh, I'm like, I ran the numbers a bunch of times and I'm like, I cannot ask my family

00:31:58.720 to sacrifice that much for me to do this.

00:32:02.980 Like, I can't like the cost for me not to work doing what I do, the amount of time,

00:32:07.940 even though I'm highly educated, none of it goes into that curriculum.

00:32:12.140 Like, and then the cost of schooling and post, you know, post-school, you know, working in,

00:32:17.340 you know, the, um, uh, do it.

00:32:20.440 It's not internships there, but I can't think of the name anyway.

00:32:22.920 Anyway, I'm like that.

00:32:24.400 That's like, we're talking millions of dollars, like adding up.

00:32:27.260 Like, I'm like, that sacrifice is not okay for me to ask of my family, for me to do chase,

00:32:33.800 like, you know, a passion.

00:32:35.880 Um, but, uh, to circle back around, like that's, but I figured out a way to do it for me to

00:32:41.540 create it in another way that it actually, I could reach more people.

00:32:44.280 And, uh, but I made a lot of other shifts at the same time.

00:32:48.180 Like I had to cut, I cut people out of my life, uh, that were counterproductive.

00:32:54.540 Um, and I kind of talk about the, who you choose and don't choose, uh, in the book and the process

00:33:01.360 for that.

00:33:02.520 Um, you know, we're not talking, you know, just cutting out, you know, naysayers, but the people

00:33:07.660 that are continually just negative or pessimistic or, and they have that output in their entire

00:33:14.580 life.

00:33:15.160 Right.

00:33:15.440 So it's not all they can add to your life is negativity.

00:33:17.880 I'm like, this is not something I can't be constantly putting out for you and not have

00:33:23.560 a reciprocal, like true relationship.

00:33:26.020 Sure.

00:33:26.420 And, uh, and so, and, and I, I walked away from my competitive lifting at the same time.

00:33:32.820 So, and I actually didn't even realize it until I was writing the book and I'm like,

00:33:37.180 Oh, Oh, the same thing.

00:33:38.960 I didn't want to basically, I was walking away from anything that created any sort of external

00:33:44.300 control in my life that, you know, I have to do this because this certain set of rules

00:33:50.080 or these dates must be met or this.

00:33:52.280 And I wanted to, like I said, I want to be able to fully express, you know, what I, what

00:33:57.600 I want to do in the world and not be constrained by those things.

00:34:00.700 So I shifted from competitive lifting and I was one of the best in the world to doing

00:34:04.860 what I call exhibition lifting.

00:34:06.580 So I do these big feats of strength combined with a charity that I believe in.

00:34:11.500 And so that way, uh, I'm still get that competitive outlet for myself, but I define the rules.

00:34:18.280 I define the dates I define, and then it's doing something that I really believe in.

00:34:22.860 Right.

00:34:23.040 It's attached to purpose.

00:34:24.140 It's attached.

00:34:24.820 Exactly.

00:34:26.140 Um, and unfortunately I, well, not unfortunately, like it was very, it was purposely.

00:34:30.700 I, I, I did leave my wife during the course of this as well.

00:34:34.500 Um, and, uh, uh, you know, I'm not proud of that.

00:34:39.000 Um, but it was part of the, that whole process of analyzing people in my life.

00:34:45.000 And, uh, I don't need to go into detail.

00:34:47.180 She's an amazing woman, amazing mother of my children, but really wasn't going to be part

00:34:52.900 of, uh, me moving forward in a positive manner to do this.

00:34:55.780 And, uh, but I did get remarried because, uh, interesting, like finding, like creating,

00:35:01.540 uh, creating businesses with like purpose, like it draws like such amazing talent to you.

00:35:08.500 So like the people that I have in my business is the best.

00:35:12.080 And I've worked in big organizations.

00:35:13.480 I've worked at a lot of different places, the best team I've ever worked with.

00:35:16.620 So by creating like this magnetic thing that draws like-minded people, people with purpose

00:35:22.020 and vision and shared those shared values that are going to come together.

00:35:26.800 And I ended up finding a new wife or partner or, you know, in that, like in that same process.

00:35:35.020 So I ended up finding a, just an incredible person, uh, and, uh, you know, every day we're

00:35:41.660 spending talking about where we're going, what we're doing together and how we're, how we're

00:35:46.160 working on this as a team.

00:35:47.220 And it's just been absolutely fantastic.

00:35:49.460 I really didn't know what like really, truly love in that aspect was beyond like love of

00:35:56.680 family until, until I met her.

00:35:58.720 And I, I never, I never would have, if I didn't like create this thing that actually drew

00:36:03.200 her into my life.

00:36:05.020 Man, I'm going to interrupt you very, very quickly.

00:36:07.640 A couple of years ago, I really recognized in addition to what we're doing here with

00:36:11.500 order of man, a need to give you the tools and resources that you need to secure your

00:36:17.680 legacy in your sons.

00:36:19.740 You have so much information out there.

00:36:22.220 And I should say misinformation, so much misinformation in the world about how to raise our boys.

00:36:27.020 It's critical that we, as fathers do the best job possible for the challenges that they're

00:36:32.360 likely to face.

00:36:33.400 And that's why we started legacy.

00:36:34.800 This is a powerful three and a half day event for you and your son between the ages of eight

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00:36:53.340 a self-sufficient man in a society that frankly doesn't want him to, and you'll forge deeper

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00:37:18.080 You can do that right after the show for now.

00:37:20.500 We'll finish up the conversation with Chris.

00:37:22.300 Interesting.

00:37:24.300 Cause I mean, you know, you do all these things and you say, okay, these are good.

00:37:28.480 These are moving me in the right direction.

00:37:29.720 But I think what guys need to understand and what I think you would attest to correct me

00:37:33.640 if I'm wrong is that just because you're making these decisions that move you in potentially

00:37:38.400 the right direction doesn't make those decisions easier.

00:37:41.700 Cause I can't imagine you leaving your wife or stepping out of competitive lifting was

00:37:46.360 an easy decision for you to make.

00:37:48.120 No.

00:37:48.760 And like leaving my wife, you know, because we had two children together, I've got three

00:37:53.040 now.

00:37:53.920 Uh, but, uh, you know, just the thoughts.

00:37:57.420 Cause like for me looking at my upbringing, I've, I've never wanted to have like that big

00:38:01.980 instability or anything that could be negative to my children's life.

00:38:06.000 And so like, I, I was a mess like over that decision and, and, you know, like moving through

00:38:13.800 the process, like my head, my gut, like I, I, you know, it's okay to seek help too.

00:38:20.040 Like I ended up, uh, seeing a psychologist during that time to kind of work through and

00:38:25.100 process some of this.

00:38:26.500 And, uh, uh, because it was, it was so scary for me.

00:38:30.420 And just like, I, that's why I had never done it sooner, I guess.

00:38:37.220 Um, and, uh, uh, but ended up being a very positive process and I've got an incredible

00:38:42.940 relationship with, uh, with their mother now.

00:38:45.300 And we live five minutes apart.

00:38:47.360 We both share the kids, see them every day.

00:38:50.360 Like it's really, really fantastic.

00:38:53.000 Um, the way where it's been able to, uh, to get to, but yeah, it was, this is hard.

00:38:58.180 I'm talking about, this is hard stuff.

00:38:59.980 Like I went through some hard stuff when I was younger, but when you were the one making

00:39:03.820 the decisions, that's making that change versus being ridden along, even though it's some crazy

00:39:10.420 stuff is totally different.

00:39:12.760 Right.

00:39:13.220 I mean, not only that, but you also have, you also have something to compare it to, right?

00:39:18.060 Cause sometimes you don't have anything to compare to, especially when you're a child,

00:39:22.520 like life is life.

00:39:24.000 Like there's no other life that you're like, Oh, well, how come we don't have it like that?

00:39:27.540 You know, it's just your deal.

00:39:29.140 I know, but people, when they read this, they're like, Oh my God, what was that really like?

00:39:33.120 And I'm like, actually it was just normal.

00:39:36.260 Like, yeah, we like killed some animals and hunted for some mushrooms.

00:39:40.900 And like, that's just what we did.

00:39:43.100 Isn't that what everybody does?

00:39:44.480 Like you don't have it.

00:39:45.300 I'm like, think about it.

00:39:46.460 Like a hundred years ago, that's what everybody was doing.

00:39:49.760 Like not everyone, but like, this was much more, like, it's not like it was terrible.

00:39:54.640 Like this was just life.

00:39:56.480 And actually most of history is closer to like what I grew up in.

00:40:00.280 It's just very, I had a much different experience than most people I'd interact with today.

00:40:05.060 Sure.

00:40:05.280 Yeah.

00:40:05.660 It's foreign for a lot of people.

00:40:07.000 I, you know, I want to back up because we need to fill in some gaps.

00:40:09.200 Cause there's a ton there.

00:40:10.300 Um, and it didn't just happen, you know, like obviously, uh, you're intimately familiar with

00:40:15.800 the process.

00:40:17.320 What, uh, what had to happen for you in order to look at maybe some experiences, once you

00:40:24.780 had some framework about your past to use those as an opportunity to grow and to build

00:40:29.900 and develop, uh, and maybe to unshackle the ego a little bit, if you will, versus somebody

00:40:36.560 who takes those experiences and, uh, uses them negatively or turns into the victim, like

00:40:42.980 you alluded to earlier or self-destructs because they had those circumstances.

00:40:47.020 What is, what is the differentiating factor there or factors?

00:40:51.640 Um, that's a good question.

00:40:53.040 I'm going to, I'm going to go a couple of different routes there.

00:40:55.120 So I think a lot of like my younger, uh, adulthood is I didn't really, uh, like do a lot of purposeful

00:41:04.260 introspection, like to arrive at the decisions.

00:41:07.200 Like I just, I was almost in like a survivor mode.

00:41:11.480 Like people like, Oh my God, I can't believe you took custody of your sisters.

00:41:14.320 I'm like, well, what else was I going to do?

00:41:17.900 Like they had to be out of the environment that they were in.

00:41:21.860 I could kind of support it and there was no one else to do it.

00:41:25.500 So like, there is no other decision for me.

00:41:28.200 I'm like, okay, now I'm raised, I have to do this.

00:41:30.400 I have to do this.

00:41:31.580 Like, so for me, it was just like, this is what I, what I have to do.

00:41:35.960 Even growing up, I, I talked to my mom and she's like, you know, about, you know, she's

00:41:40.380 like, yeah, you were basically raising the kids while we were out, you know, you know,

00:41:44.000 tending the, what they grew weed for a living.

00:41:45.940 That's why we lived in the middle of nowhere.

00:41:47.580 Uh, and, uh, back when it was not, uh, legal.

00:41:52.700 Right.

00:41:53.280 Right.

00:41:53.880 And, uh, and, uh, you know, it's just like, these are just like, I never really had like

00:42:00.220 that much of a childhood either, but I, I was always in the care relation.

00:42:04.840 Like I had people dependent on me all the time during that.

00:42:09.120 And, uh, I think that forced me, not forced me, but like that put me in that position of

00:42:14.740 like moving forward.

00:42:15.860 And we see that in like the, you know, you know, if you've got like a group that's, you

00:42:21.780 know, has something, you know, working through a, I said survivor mentality, but like, Hey,

00:42:26.920 you know, plane goes down and there's somebody that's, you know, you're out, out in the wilderness

00:42:31.680 and there's a group of people and you're trying to get back somewhere and somebody's

00:42:34.600 freaking out.

00:42:35.460 What do you do?

00:42:36.160 You put them in charge of someone else.

00:42:38.160 And when they're responsible for someone else, it changes their behaviors a lot.

00:42:42.000 And I think that's where I was.

00:42:43.440 I don't, I can't really take that much credit.

00:42:45.880 I think it's just like I did what needed to be done.

00:42:49.060 Sure.

00:42:49.660 And the, the, the introspection or more of the getting to the Ouroboros, um, the, the, uh,

00:42:56.200 the dragon phase was stimulated by my children.

00:43:00.120 Like I didn't really have a lot of emotion about my upbringing or anything like it just

00:43:05.800 was.

00:43:06.500 But once I started watching them grow and then reflecting on the environment that I was

00:43:13.220 in at the same age, they were like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm like, I'm

00:43:17.480 getting teary eyed.

00:43:18.280 Like, I just don't like, like, like all of a sudden, like in my mid thirties, I'm like,

00:43:23.820 oh, wow, this is like, this is kind of hitting, hitting me like in the fields, pretty serious.

00:43:30.760 And that started driving that, you know, that, that like really driving, like, what am I

00:43:36.920 doing in the world?

00:43:37.700 What am I doing for them?

00:43:39.020 What am I?

00:43:39.760 And like, you know, that's, that's truly like not just the writing of the book.

00:43:45.380 So it's covered in the, I kind of cover it in the, uh, the, the, the intro or dedication

00:43:50.340 on the book, but the way I live my life and what I'm trying to do is not just to like create

00:43:57.620 and express for myself, but to walk the walk and show them, show my children with my actions

00:44:08.380 that they can form the world around them to whatever, whatever mold that they want to

00:44:14.560 be, whatever they want to achieve out of life, not just to tell them, you know, some philosophy

00:44:19.920 or, you know, whatever, but like, cause we see a lot of, you know, that people, a lot of

00:44:24.180 people can talk to talk, but walk in the walk is a whole different story.

00:44:31.160 And, uh, like I said, watching you, I know, you know what I'm talking about.

00:44:34.620 Like there's, there's a lot of stress and work and all these sorts of things, but like

00:44:40.140 to be able to, you know, as they're growing up to see that, you know, me doing what I'm

00:44:47.080 doing is, is just like huge for me.

00:44:49.980 That's probably one of the biggest reasons for me for doing what I do.

00:44:54.220 Yeah.

00:44:54.940 And, and I, I'm going to go off another tangent here, but actually maybe.

00:45:01.160 This will tie back in, uh, to where I wanted to go.

00:45:03.580 But, uh, the, we see so many parents today that step away from who they are because their

00:45:13.980 number one thing becomes becoming a parent, a caregiver of removing the obstacles and everything

00:45:19.900 around.

00:45:20.340 Like they are there, they're helicoptering, they're doing all this stuff and they're doing

00:45:24.500 a basic, like they work so hard for their kids, but what are they showing their kids?

00:45:29.480 That there's nothing of value for them to do in the world other than once they have

00:45:34.220 kids to become the same, like, don't you want them to do more?

00:45:37.760 Well, you're actually like not showing them not that that's not the case.

00:45:41.400 Like that you always are going to be in that, that servant mode, that whatever, like it's

00:45:46.660 to me, like you need to be, yes, you need to be a great parent and do those sorts of things.

00:45:51.500 But you also, you've got to stay authentic to who you are for your kid's sake.

00:45:56.400 And that's what I'm talking about.

00:45:57.440 Like if I can walk with the things that I want to walk, it actually is the best way to

00:46:03.400 show my kids how that they can realize what they want out of life.

00:46:08.240 And to have the life that they want.

00:46:09.760 You know, a lot, a lot of people, I see this with not only kids, but just relationships

00:46:15.100 in general, like a, like a man gets into a relationship with a girlfriend and his fiance and

00:46:19.360 then eventually wife.

00:46:20.140 And he gives up his friendships, he gives up his hobbies, he gives up his activities.

00:46:24.740 And then he thinks he has to pour everything into her or when he has kids, pour everything

00:46:28.620 that he has into the kids.

00:46:29.980 And then these are guys who at some point will probably rebel.

00:46:34.980 They'll, they'll self-destruct.

00:46:36.420 They'll sabotage the relationship.

00:46:37.600 They'll sabotage the dynamic between them and their kids because they're so bitter that

00:46:43.080 they never took time to focus on themselves and lead by example and show what it means

00:46:48.880 to have your own hobbies and pursuits and interests and things that you want to master.

00:46:52.960 And then that once it happens, once they sabotage, they turn back into their, their early 20s

00:46:56.900 self again, which is not, not, not, is doing nothing of value for anybody or themselves.

00:47:03.740 Right.

00:47:04.140 And so that the other point I was wanting to make is like, you know, because like with

00:47:09.080 my siblings, my sisters that I raised and you know, I was very clear, like in the book,

00:47:14.420 like I didn't, they're, they're all leading good lives and so much.

00:47:19.280 And you'll see it when, you know, if you read the book, like so many people just literally

00:47:23.080 died around me, um, or if, you know, just their life is they're in prison, they're drug addicts.

00:47:28.820 They're like, this is what happened.

00:47:30.400 My sisters who I raised are not.

00:47:32.860 And, but I can't take credit.

00:47:35.200 Like I made them do the work.

00:47:37.740 Like I didn't, it was the same process.

00:47:40.320 I had the expectations and I showed them with my actions and I, I expected them to be successful,

00:47:47.260 but they had to go work on getting their GED, work on getting a job when they're a teen work

00:47:52.900 on getting, you know, like the, like the expectations were there, but I didn't provide or give them

00:47:59.480 anything as in like, and then, Oh, here you're successful because of it.

00:48:04.860 They still had to create that themselves.

00:48:08.680 And, uh, how old did you say you were when you, you took care of them?

00:48:12.940 I think 21 is when I took custody of the first one.

00:48:17.500 And how old was she when, when you were 21?

00:48:20.060 Uh, she was 14 or 15 for that range.

00:48:25.300 All right.

00:48:25.920 And then, uh, um, and then the last one finally moved out around the time I was about 30 years old,

00:48:33.980 29 or 30 years old.

00:48:35.680 So there was a, yeah, about, so you had him, had him for a while.

00:48:39.560 Yeah.

00:48:40.060 Yeah.

00:48:40.820 So, well, that's tough.

00:48:42.120 It's like a 21 year old.

00:48:43.260 That's crazy.

00:48:44.120 Yeah.

00:48:45.380 So, and it wasn't all at once.

00:48:47.200 So like, uh, uh, I, I got the oldest, uh, right away.

00:48:52.560 And then about a year later, uh, year or two later, I moved to Portland, took care of the second.

00:48:57.340 I left my house to the oldest.

00:48:59.720 I owned a house and, uh, in the town I moved from, I moved up, I moved up.

00:49:03.580 I moved to the, from a small, uh, Southern Oregon town where I went to my undergraduate,

00:49:08.080 um, and was working to, uh, Portland, Oregon to pursue my MBA and kind of advance my career.

00:49:15.060 Left my, cause my, uh, the oldest was turning 18 at the time, had a job.

00:49:19.040 I'm like, here's the keys to the house.

00:49:21.780 Take care of it.

00:49:23.720 You owe me rent.

00:49:25.200 Yeah.

00:49:25.760 Yeah.

00:49:26.120 And I moved to Portland, picked up the second.

00:49:28.280 And the youngest one, she was in, uh, she had a good place to live.

00:49:33.780 So the second was in juvie.

00:49:35.500 Like I, I got them all out of kind of bad spots.

00:49:37.800 Um, yeah, sounds like it wasn't juvie that first that that's why I didn't have her right

00:49:41.500 away.

00:49:42.140 And the third was they, uh, her father technically had custody of her, but she wasn't living with

00:49:49.180 him because it wasn't a safe environment.

00:49:50.640 So she had a friend that she'd been living with her, their parents for a number of years.

00:49:53.820 And then, uh, and then he died and so she was going to be, go into the state care and

00:50:00.240 that's when I took the, took her.

00:50:02.700 Um, so yeah.

00:50:04.420 So I never had like, I never had all three at once.

00:50:07.140 So it was all kind of like, you know, sporadic, sporadic.

00:50:10.740 Um, but it was, you know, a good nine years that I, I spent with, uh, with, with, with them.

00:50:16.120 Well, and it sounds like you spent enough time with each of them that you had the influence

00:50:20.120 needed to be able to transform and turn around the, the course that they were on.

00:50:24.080 Cause it sounds like the path that they were on was not the, not the one that they are

00:50:27.720 today.

00:50:28.480 No, it was not a, yeah, it was, it was heading that spiral.

00:50:32.280 That's why I said I had to step in.

00:50:33.940 Right.

00:50:35.340 But again, talk to me a little bit about, um, your, your concept of, uh, the proactivity.

00:50:40.280 You know, I, I really liked that idea and that concept.

00:50:42.700 I think there's a lot of guys out there who are, you know, they're just kind of drifting

00:50:46.060 with the current and, and, and letting the, the circumstances take them where they want

00:50:50.660 to go.

00:50:50.980 And I'm, I'm, I'm really intrigued and fascinated by this idea of just being proactive and being

00:50:55.440 intentional about your life.

00:50:57.840 Yeah, it's, uh, well, it's a, it's just part of that.

00:51:00.440 Like you've got to start with like really understanding where you want to go.

00:51:04.120 And, you know, we're not talking about like deciding I I'm going to play in the, uh, the

00:51:09.020 NFL, maybe it is, and then shouting it out across social media and telling everybody

00:51:12.320 where you're going.

00:51:13.400 Cause don't, don't do that by the way.

00:51:16.840 Maybe that's your goal.

00:51:18.440 Like I, I wanted to be one of the strongest people in the world and I didn't say that

00:51:23.260 until a few years ago.

00:51:24.700 Really?

00:51:25.320 Yeah.

00:51:26.080 What do you think is the problem with doing that?

00:51:28.360 Um, you're opening yourself up to a lot of people that, uh, ridicule, uh, you're opening,

00:51:35.020 you know, people that are going to be a constant pessimist downers, not supportive, uh, you're

00:51:41.600 really big goals.

00:51:42.840 You need to keep really close and only let out to a very, very close circle.

00:51:47.940 Like, you know, your spouse or your close friend or like those ones you really need to

00:51:53.680 keep tight.

00:51:54.500 Um, uh, is my opinion because there's, there's a lot of talkers out there and, uh, it never

00:52:00.600 goes anywhere and you need to, uh, I think there's just some negative things that come

00:52:05.800 with, with, uh, with that.

00:52:07.660 Um, and it kind of sets the, the, the, the, the mind frame wrong.

00:52:12.240 You're doing it for you.

00:52:13.900 And so if you set this out in the public arena, like, Hey, I'm going to do this huge exceptional

00:52:18.580 thing.

00:52:18.980 You better be pretty damn well close to achieving it, not 20 years off of it.

00:52:23.000 Right.

00:52:23.500 Cause there's just, you're going to look foolish, honestly.

00:52:26.540 And you're also setting yourself up for people not believing in your word.

00:52:31.120 Um, you know, you know, cause you're the big talker.

00:52:34.320 It's like, anyway, there's a whole lot of things.

00:52:36.460 There's a whole, there's a few pieces on psychology there.

00:52:38.580 Don't do that.

00:52:39.660 Keep those big goals tight, but know where you're going.

00:52:42.120 Okay.

00:52:43.060 Have that, you know, have that vision, that North star, I call it because every single

00:52:50.920 day is an opportunity.

00:52:53.280 And sometimes it doesn't feel like you're moving, moving anywhere that, that far.

00:52:57.420 It's just one step in front of the next.

00:52:59.940 What step today am I making?

00:53:02.480 That's advancing me towards that.

00:53:03.900 Because if you start looking at your life, you'll realize that there's so like so many

00:53:08.540 like days, weeks, months go by that you're literally not taking action, moving forward

00:53:13.840 on it.

00:53:14.660 You're going grocery shopping, running the laundry, watching a game, you know, scrolling

00:53:20.620 through Facebook.

00:53:21.960 You're like, and you've got to constantly be laying the groundwork and laying the groundwork

00:53:27.160 for potentially other pathways that could develop from that.

00:53:31.700 So you're not going to have a perfect vision of knowing exactly what that North, you know,

00:53:36.940 like here's the direction I'm heading in, but here's a lot of different outcomes as I

00:53:41.140 come down those paths.

00:53:42.200 And as you get closer, it's going to narrow.

00:53:46.100 And I, I like to use a, you know, a tree.

00:53:49.420 Like if you're sitting at the base of a tree and you're going, I'm going to end up at one

00:53:54.460 point on the end of one of those branches right now, you're not going to like, there's

00:53:58.120 a million leaves up there or needles.

00:53:59.760 Like you don't know where that point is, but the further, but, but every day it's like,

00:54:04.300 okay, I'm working up, I'm working up, okay, here's a branch.

00:54:07.600 Okay.

00:54:07.820 I, I, I started, you know, the tree split and I'm starting to head a little to the left.

00:54:11.840 I've just narrowed 50% of the outcomes.

00:54:14.740 Right.

00:54:15.440 And you keep just moving forward every day, advancing.

00:54:18.580 And it may be years of like feeling like you're not moving anywhere, but is it, is it stuff

00:54:24.040 that's going to put you in that direction?

00:54:26.360 Then all of a sudden things will start, start happening really fast as well.

00:54:30.080 And, uh, it's, it, you've got, you've got to have that focus and keep that in the forefront

00:54:36.960 of your mind because there's so many other fluff and crap that comes into our life that

00:54:43.000 is filler.

00:54:44.220 And sometimes it's self self created because we want to feel like we're accomplishing a

00:54:50.420 lot.

00:54:50.820 And so we, so we create busy, I'm busy all day.

00:54:54.660 Like it, but like, okay, if you're busy all day and this is truly important to you, what

00:55:01.780 of those busyness was actually within that.

00:55:06.140 Right.

00:55:06.680 That actually moved the needle in the right direction.

00:55:08.960 Exactly.

00:55:09.540 And you'll find it's very, very little.

00:55:11.360 You're just doing busy work and you could use this with job work, like any, a whole lots

00:55:16.740 of things, right.

00:55:17.940 Um, that, uh, that I find that people just do so much that's literally adding no value

00:55:26.120 in what they really want to accomplish in life.

00:55:29.300 And, uh, so, so, you know, that's, that's kind of my views on that proactivity is keeping

00:55:36.500 that to the forefront and always trying to figure out how can I advance?

00:55:40.820 Even if it, there's nothing, nothing to celebrate that day.

00:55:44.380 Was it a move in the right direction?

00:55:46.660 Yeah.

00:55:47.240 Yeah.

00:55:47.940 Yeah.

00:55:48.360 And it's, uh, I like your analogy of the branch and the trees as well, because you're never

00:55:52.520 going to be able to see that point completely when you're on the ground.

00:55:55.640 And as you continue to move up the trunk and onto the limbs, the picture becomes more clear.

00:56:01.900 And, you know, you might find something there that you didn't see from the ground that you

00:56:07.200 might say, Oh, maybe that's actually not the branch I want to climb, but you don't get

00:56:11.040 to figure that out until you're on the path.

00:56:13.880 Exactly.

00:56:14.800 Exactly.

00:56:15.600 I think that's where a lot of people fall short is they think they have to have these

00:56:18.560 perfect plans.

00:56:20.680 They have to have the perfect strategy.

00:56:22.700 And once they're on the path that they aren't able to deviate, they have to maintain that

00:56:26.740 course.

00:56:27.160 Like, no, you're going to discover things as you go along the way.

00:56:30.000 Exactly.

00:56:30.520 You can't predict this.

00:56:31.760 You can't, and you can't, and you can't make that happen necessarily to just know that

00:56:36.500 and to think like, I know exactly the path, like this perfect place of where I want

00:56:40.940 to be, no, but we need to have a general idea.

00:56:43.340 And that's where like understanding your, you know, the values and like how you want

00:56:46.700 to live, it's going to help you create that in your mind.

00:56:50.120 But yeah, it's going to be, you're going to, you're going to be, you know, working that,

00:56:54.300 that, that path, trying to find that best one.

00:56:57.160 And the closer you get, the better you're going to know exactly what it is and what

00:57:01.480 that right is.

00:57:02.540 Sure.

00:57:03.120 How does this tie into your idea of grand goals?

00:57:05.720 Cause you're talking, you've talked a little bit about big goals.

00:57:07.580 You've got the grand goal shirt on.

00:57:08.920 You talk about that in the book itself.

00:57:10.780 So explain that to me.

00:57:13.720 So, uh, the grand goals, uh, that was, uh, that was basically my retirement piece, uh,

00:57:19.560 from the lifting.

00:57:20.460 Right.

00:57:20.740 Um, so it was a way of like expressing to, you know, people publicly because I, you know,

00:57:26.960 I was a known figure in a, in, you know, in, in, in a sport and people are always like,

00:57:31.600 what competition are you doing next?

00:57:33.420 What are you training for?

00:57:34.460 What?

00:57:34.640 And I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore.

00:57:37.180 And here's why.

00:57:39.220 And here's the things that I want to chase.

00:57:41.160 And it happened to be a thousand pounds, uh, deadlift and a thousand pound squat.

00:57:45.840 And, uh, so grand for a thousand.

00:57:49.780 But, uh, um, but also ties into other things like, yeah, I mean, like chase those big,

00:57:57.040 gnarly, scary things.

00:57:59.160 So this ties back into what we were discussing earlier, chasing fear.

00:58:03.640 And it doesn't have to be a lifting, like, it's like chasing those big, scary things in

00:58:09.500 life.

00:58:09.960 So, you know, when I'm mentoring people or coaching people that I've worked with through

00:58:14.420 the years, you know, sometimes it's just drawing that out of people.

00:58:17.360 It's, you know, could be the 50 year old that's always wanted to go back to school, but they

00:58:21.360 just never like, you know, it scares them for some reason, you know, the impacts on work

00:58:27.540 family, but they just always want, like when you feel that, that churn in your stomach, when

00:58:34.880 you're thinking about something, that mix of excitement and fear, that is your signal that

00:58:42.580 that is the thing to chase something that is just out there, barely possible, but you

00:58:50.400 think you can actually do it.

00:58:52.300 Okay.

00:58:53.180 It's got some level of realism, but it's, it is still so much of a, so much of a reach.

00:58:59.880 It's a reach into the unknown, um, that it scares you.

00:59:05.820 That is your signal.

00:59:07.260 And that's what kind of grand goals is about is keeping that.

00:59:10.240 And trust me, if you, if you keep things like that in your life, one, you're not going to

00:59:14.640 get soft.

00:59:15.400 Yeah, sure.

00:59:16.220 Definitely.

00:59:16.820 So that's your, that's how you stay, you know, that mentally, emotionally in touch, but

00:59:21.480 trust me, you're going to, you bring that level of engagement and excitement and fear

00:59:26.320 into your life and keep it there.

00:59:28.600 You're going to be engaged with everything else.

00:59:30.840 Let's talk about that individual that has that, that cake job Monday through Friday,

00:59:35.600 looking towards, you know, having beers and, and getting drunk with their buddies on Friday

00:59:39.740 night or Saturday night.

00:59:41.260 So their whole thing to look forward to, they have so little engagement in their life.

00:59:45.500 They're also going to be the person that comes home and is likely not engaged with their

00:59:49.580 wife, not engaged with their kids because they're just, you know what I'm talking about.

00:59:54.960 Like these, these people, like you've got to have, you've got to have passion.

01:00:00.480 You've got to have drive.

01:00:01.900 And, and guess what?

01:00:02.920 If you're passionate about something, you're also scared about it.

01:00:06.440 So that's grand goals.

01:00:08.100 So for me is chasing these unfathomable things.

01:00:10.540 I, I now hold the Guinness world record, uh, for the sumo deadlift.

01:00:15.200 I did a thousand pounds for almost three reps.

01:00:17.460 When I talk about keeping things close to yourself, three reps was the goal the whole time.

01:00:22.180 I only told the world I was going to do it once.

01:00:25.060 Oh, I was going, I was going for a thousand pound deadlift, but I wanted to be the only

01:00:29.680 person in history to do a thousand pounds for reps because nobody, nobody's ever done

01:00:35.200 it and nobody still has.

01:00:36.780 That's what I was going to ask is so, and there's different classes and categories,

01:00:40.380 right?

01:00:40.680 So have they even pulled that much off the, I mean, off the ground at all, just in different

01:00:45.220 forms?

01:00:45.740 Is that how that works?

01:00:46.840 So different forms.

01:00:47.540 Yeah.

01:00:47.720 So there's a conventional deadlift and a sumo deadlift, right?

01:00:51.140 So there's five, there's now, uh, there's now a total of five people that have pulled

01:00:55.580 a thousand pounds in any form.

01:00:57.980 Is that what you're saying?

01:00:58.520 In any form.

01:00:59.000 Okay.

01:00:59.220 And so those are all conventional.

01:01:00.980 I'm the only person that's done at sumo and they're all about, I think the lightest person

01:01:05.860 was 380 pounds and the heaviest was 440 pounds.

01:01:10.040 Okay.

01:01:10.460 I did mine.

01:01:11.320 Huge guys.

01:01:12.460 Yeah.

01:01:12.880 Yes.

01:01:13.180 They're huge guys.

01:01:13.740 And still you're a, a very big man also, uh, right now I'm 275 when I did it, I was

01:01:20.860 around 260, 265.

01:01:22.740 Okay.

01:01:23.040 So a good, a good 120 pounds less than any other person that's ever done it before.

01:01:30.200 So, and, uh, sorry, it sounds like I'm bragging the oldest person that's ever done it too.

01:01:35.880 That's impressive.

01:01:36.520 So how old were you when you did that?

01:01:38.220 Uh, I was 39.

01:01:43.080 Okay.

01:01:43.340 It was 20, God, I did it actually.

01:01:46.260 I think the year that, uh, I did it, I did it not long after our podcast.

01:01:49.840 I did it.

01:01:50.240 Oh, is that right?

01:01:50.740 Okay.

01:01:51.360 I did it, I think in October of 2016.

01:01:53.800 Okay.

01:01:54.200 So, yeah, yeah.

01:01:55.560 But yeah, so I, I wasn't going to go out in the world.

01:01:58.680 Like I wanted to put something out there.

01:02:00.180 And the only reason I did is because of me being a known figure and it's not, it was a

01:02:05.300 crazy goal to say that I'm going to do this because nobody was even close to doing it at

01:02:09.480 the time.

01:02:09.900 And, uh, but I wasn't going to go like, ah, and I'm going to do it for reps.

01:02:14.380 And that, you know, like I wanted to keep, I always keep like, you know, some of that

01:02:19.060 because the goal is for me.

01:02:20.760 So if you put, that was the other reason for like not putting those big things out there,

01:02:24.760 like all of it, you lose, you, you become accountable to the, to everyone else.

01:02:31.120 And that, that could be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing if you start chasing

01:02:37.140 it and everything about it, because I feel I have to do it because I said it to these

01:02:41.920 other people that literally, I don't even know who they are.

01:02:44.440 Right.

01:02:45.220 Like, you know, there's this other interesting phenomenon that, that has been experienced

01:02:48.980 as well when somebody puts out some, some audacious goal like that is that they start

01:02:53.300 to receive the accolades.

01:02:54.880 Like I see this, for example, when somebody says, I'm going to run a marathon and then

01:02:59.180 people are like, oh, congratulations.

01:03:01.140 You're awesome.

01:03:02.120 That's amazing.

01:03:02.740 It's like, you're actually not yet.

01:03:05.180 Cause you just saying it doesn't mean anything, but then the brain doesn't really distinguish

01:03:10.660 between the accolades for saying you're going to do it versus the accolades for actually

01:03:16.260 doing it.

01:03:16.960 So you become, you almost become content and satisfied with saying it rather than actually

01:03:22.360 doing it.

01:03:23.060 Yeah.

01:03:23.640 Yeah.

01:03:24.280 Now it was, it was funny when I was in the training, cause there's a point where I was

01:03:28.680 pulling like upper nine hundreds for like reps and doing it like a few times a week.

01:03:33.200 And people were like, why the hell aren't you pulling a thousand yet?

01:03:36.240 Clearly you're capable of it.

01:03:37.520 But I didn't, didn't answer, but it was, people started picking up on like, wait a

01:03:42.180 minute, what's he doing?

01:03:44.840 Right.

01:03:45.500 Right.

01:03:46.120 That's interesting.

01:03:47.020 That, that, that wasn't the goal.

01:03:48.380 And, uh, yeah, but I wasn't going to, this has been awesome, man.

01:03:52.580 I, I know there's so much more that we can delve into and I would just say, pick up a

01:03:56.360 copy of the book.

01:03:56.920 Cause I was actually really, I was, I was entertained.

01:03:59.860 I mean, I, it's kind of a funny word to use in the context of you sharing your life, but

01:04:05.180 I was just blown away with the experience and what you went through and then how you

01:04:09.680 tied everything into these lessons chronologically through your life is actually a really powerful

01:04:14.300 read.

01:04:14.660 So I appreciate that.

01:04:16.440 Thank you.

01:04:17.060 I appreciate that feedback.

01:04:18.420 It's, uh, it's been incredible.

01:04:20.380 The feedback I've been getting, I mean, it's, it's, it's changed some people's lives.

01:04:24.320 Like it's, uh, you know, and, and, and that, that feels great.

01:04:28.380 Like to be able to have something that, you know, provided somebody to do their work themselves,

01:04:33.800 their homework and, uh, and, and make significant change in their life because of that.

01:04:40.000 Yeah.

01:04:40.720 Well, let me ask you a couple additional questions.

01:04:42.680 The first one I did, I did give you a little bit of a heads up and that is what does it mean

01:04:46.240 to be a man?

01:04:46.880 Um, so I think I've covered a lot of that, like, but not specifically over the course

01:04:52.500 of this, um, but you know, uh, a man in my eyes is, is, is, is a, is a leader and you

01:05:00.160 know, like, uh, it doesn't mean a leader of a business or elite, but like a leader of their

01:05:06.320 family, the people around them.

01:05:08.100 And it doesn't mean like the person that like leadership doesn't mean a manager, a director.

01:05:13.380 It means somebody that is providing like the, um, I don't know, the, the, the motivation,

01:05:22.800 the, the setting an example, but driving people to do those things and, and to do, to become

01:05:29.920 like, again, like better at who they are.

01:05:34.120 And to do that as a man, you need to be a pillar of strength, a pillar of physical, mental, and

01:05:41.780 emotional strength.

01:05:43.060 Okay.

01:05:43.660 And we could throw spiritual in there as well, but it's like, you can't be the person that's,

01:05:51.160 you know, flighty at the, you know, with the wind picks up, but you know, emotionally, it

01:05:55.820 doesn't mean like emotionally reserved or, you know, not, not being able to, you know,

01:06:01.620 engage in that manner, but you need to be solid that people can rely on you, that you're,

01:06:06.820 that your wife, that your kids, that your friends, you know, if they need a shoulder

01:06:11.520 to lead on, they need help in tough times, advice that like, they know that they can come

01:06:16.680 to you and you're a pillar of strength, like you're, you're unwavering, uh, in that manner

01:06:23.020 and being able to support.

01:06:24.360 So that's, that's my view, being a pillar of strength, you know, beyond the physical

01:06:28.360 nature, physical, mental, and emotional.

01:06:30.440 Yeah.

01:06:30.540 That's awesome.

01:06:31.040 Um, obviously something we attest to as well, we talk about preside, which is synonymous

01:06:35.800 with leadership.

01:06:36.380 So wholeheartedly agree.

01:06:38.140 Well, how do we connect with you and pick up a copy of the book?

01:06:40.780 Yeah.

01:06:41.320 So, uh, um, I'll give you a bunch of links.

01:06:44.920 So Christopher Duffin.com C H R I S T O P H E R Duffin.com D U F F I N.

01:06:52.380 Uh, there's a link to like all my businesses, um, which are fantastic.

01:06:56.960 If you want to check them out, there's a link to, uh, where to buy the book on.

01:07:01.040 Amazon, Barnes and Noble, all that sort of stuff.

01:07:04.860 Uh, there's also a link on how to download the audio copy for free.

01:07:08.440 Uh, so that's, uh, that's really cool.

01:07:10.860 Um, and, um, the, you can find me on the, the social platforms I mostly interact on is

01:07:18.240 Instagram and LinkedIn.

01:07:20.320 I know it sounds a little weird, but I just, Facebook is not my thing anymore.

01:07:25.060 Uh, uh, and, uh, LinkedIn is working pretty well for me.

01:07:29.100 You just type in Chris Duffin.

01:07:30.720 I'll be on there, but like my, my, my Instagram handles mad underscore scientist underscore

01:07:35.480 Duffin.

01:07:36.720 Um, Kabuki strength is the, uh, is the primary venture, um, that, uh, that I'm involved with

01:07:43.340 on a daily basis, credible resource.

01:07:45.620 So, uh, K A B U K I strength.com.

01:07:49.700 So yeah, we'll sync it all up.

01:07:51.880 I want to let you know, especially as you were talking about what it means to be a man

01:07:54.880 that, that I feel like you're somebody who embodies that, you know, you, you've shown

01:07:58.600 yourself to be physically strong, mentally, emotionally strong.

01:08:01.960 Um, and I know your work is doing good things.

01:08:03.980 You've been instrumental and influential in my life.

01:08:06.320 So really appreciate you taking some time to join us back again and share some of these

01:08:09.340 stories.

01:08:09.720 And it's, uh, it's powerful to see where you've come from and how far you've come

01:08:13.560 and what you've been able to do with your life.

01:08:15.380 Yep.

01:08:15.700 And that's, that is the right there.

01:08:18.020 The, the point of the book is I, the story is not to say, Oh, what was me or, you know,

01:08:25.060 Oh, I've done all this.

01:08:26.580 It's just to show you if you put these principles and philosophies into place, how far you can

01:08:32.160 move that needle.

01:08:33.520 And that's what makes it a great story.

01:08:35.680 So right on.

01:08:37.040 Thanks, Chris.

01:08:37.560 Appreciate you, brother.

01:08:38.460 All right.

01:08:38.740 Thank you.

01:08:40.240 There you go, guys.

01:08:40.980 My conversation with the one and only Chris Duffin.

01:08:43.060 Uh, like I said, very, very interesting and fascinating, uh, childhood.

01:08:47.100 I was going to say a hard and a rough childhood, but as he mentioned, it's not that it was rough.

01:08:52.120 It was just different.

01:08:52.820 And that was where he came from.

01:08:54.920 Uh, and obviously he's come, uh, from an amazing place and grown into something truly

01:08:59.400 incredible with his, uh, the way that he thinks about life and the success that he's

01:09:03.400 had on just about every front.

01:09:04.820 So I would definitely encourage you to connect with Chris, let him, and I know what you enjoyed

01:09:10.540 about this conversation, uh, pick up a copy of the book, the Eagle and the Dragon.

01:09:14.560 Very, very good read.

01:09:15.500 And it's going to help you to embrace strength in your own life.

01:09:19.220 And then how to reinvent yourself.

01:09:20.700 The idea of the dragon, which is something that really resonated with me.

01:09:24.060 I hope you enjoyed that one guys.

01:09:25.180 I hope you enjoy all of them again, marching orders for today.

01:09:28.320 Uh, head over to YouTube, youtube.com slash order of man, subscribe.

01:09:32.600 Uh, we're almost at that a hundred thousand mark.

01:09:34.840 And then obviously we're going to continue well past that, but that's a good milestone.

01:09:38.440 And I'm excited about that.

01:09:39.700 And thank you for helping me on that path as well.

01:09:42.160 Uh, outside of that, you can check out our legacy event, order of man.com slash legacy.

01:09:46.240 We've got 11 spots left for you and your son.

01:09:49.360 What else?

01:09:50.160 Oh, we've got the, uh, dead December with soren X that we're going to be doing.

01:09:54.480 You can head to order of man.com slash iron council, which is where we are going to

01:10:00.120 be participating in that, uh, dead December, and you can check out soren X as well.

01:10:04.900 S O R I N E X.com.

01:10:07.000 All right, guys, that's all I've got for you today.

01:10:08.520 Kip and I will be back tomorrow for our, ask me anything until then go out there, take

01:10:13.260 action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:10:16.100 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:10:18.880 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:10:22.680 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:10:30.120 Thank you.

Order of Man - November 26, 2019

Embracing Strength and Reinvention ｜ CHRIS DUFFIN

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