Order of Man - Embracing Suffering, Free Masonry, and the Power of Rituals and Traditions ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.420 Kip, what's going on, man? AMA 20? 20? 21? Somewhere in there.

00:00:29.800 Christmas edition. Christmas edition. That's right.

00:00:32.880 We were going to do this tomorrow, but we decided that probably doing it on Christmas.

00:00:36.460 It was funny because when you sent me a message, you're like, hey, should we reschedule our conversation for next week?

00:00:41.800 I'm like, why? I'm like, well, it's Christmas. I'm like, oh, yeah, Christmas.

00:00:47.240 Yeah, we probably ought to do that. So we're recording a day early.

00:00:49.860 Yeah. And I almost thought you were going to pull one of those numbers where, what was the last scenario?

00:00:55.240 The last scenario was Thanksgiving. We had some internal surveys and meetings with you from the battle team leaders in the Iron Council.

00:01:04.160 And it was on Thanksgiving. And guys were like, hey, that's on Thanksgiving.

00:01:07.600 And Ryan's reply was, yeah, so.

00:01:10.280 I actually, I don't, one of the things I don't really do very well is fake holidays.

00:01:17.200 And Thanksgiving and Christmas don't fall into those camp. Those are what I would consider real holidays.

00:01:22.300 But I'm talking about like President's Day and Columbus Day and Valentine's and all these other things where it's like everybody wants the day off.

00:01:32.420 Like government shuts down for the day and people are going home.

00:01:35.960 It's like, why are we doing this? Oh, it's President's Day.

00:01:39.960 And that's not a real holiday.

00:01:43.020 What does that even mean?

00:01:44.160 Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

00:01:46.520 Anyways.

00:01:47.520 So Christmas is, in my book, a real holiday.

00:01:51.880 So I actually released my interview with Jack Carr a day early.

00:01:55.920 So I released it on, as of, well, today, Monday.

00:02:00.120 But as of the release of this, that'll be a couple of days ago.

00:02:03.480 So no podcast on Tuesday. You guys probably noticed that.

00:02:09.140 Now we'll just get to the questions.

00:02:11.320 All right. Let's do it.

00:02:12.800 Well, just to tell these guys too, our questions are coming from Patreon, which is Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash Order of Man.

00:02:23.060 Next, kind of talking about the hierarchy in which we answer these questions.

00:02:26.460 Next is the Iron Council, except for we had one of our brothers inside the Iron Council shoot me a message.

00:02:31.800 He's like, hey, man, I accidentally deleted your question about or your post about what questions we had.

00:02:39.280 And I just found that out this morning, a little too late to ask again.

00:02:42.800 So there won't be any Iron Council questions today.

00:02:45.400 And then our Facebook group, which is facebook.com slash groups slash Order of Man.

00:02:49.840 By the way, man, the hat's looking good.

00:02:52.260 That is a good looking hat you have on.

00:02:53.860 Absolutely.

00:02:56.180 I'm wondering who, let's see, yours looks more curved than mine does though.

00:02:59.920 Mine's a little, mine's a little flatter than yours.

00:03:01.700 I have a slap, a slight curve in it.

00:03:04.900 That's right.

00:03:05.500 That's right.

00:03:06.460 Just enough to keep people on their toes.

00:03:08.260 They're like, what's going on there?

00:03:09.440 What's going on?

00:03:10.000 We should mix it up.

00:03:10.900 We should.

00:03:11.340 We should, like April Fool's Day, we'll wear the ugly curved brim hats and fake everybody

00:03:15.860 out or something.

00:03:16.920 Yeah.

00:03:17.400 Yeah.

00:03:17.660 Mix it up.

00:03:18.640 The jacket looks good too.

00:03:19.660 You're representing today, man.

00:03:21.000 I know.

00:03:21.540 I got my Order of Man t-shirt on, but man, you even got your battle team shirt.

00:03:26.960 Yeah.

00:03:27.220 And I got my Order of Man Tidy Whiteys on too. 0.98

00:03:31.700 Good.

00:03:32.120 Good.

00:03:32.500 That's like a must.

00:03:34.720 Special edition.

00:03:36.020 Yeah.

00:03:36.320 I want to see that though.

00:03:37.300 So I know Bubba would be happy.

00:03:39.500 He keeps talking about banana hammocks and thongs and everything else.

00:03:42.320 And I'm thinking, man, I'm doing these guys a favor by deflecting on that one for sure.

00:03:47.300 For sure.

00:03:48.100 Yeah.

00:03:48.380 Bubba's going to go south on some of these products that he wants to introduce.

00:03:52.500 Literally.

00:03:53.820 Yeah.

00:03:54.780 Totally.

00:03:55.680 All right.

00:03:56.020 So Patreon members first, like you mentioned, patreon.com forward slash slash Order of Man.

00:04:02.940 Our first question.

00:04:04.140 I heard, by the way, by the way, I heard, I heard the other day or I saw it.

00:04:09.800 I can't even remember where I saw it.

00:04:11.020 And I meant to take a screenshot and show you, but it was like a credible site that said

00:04:15.580 that it's not a backslash.

00:04:17.580 I think there's so, so much confusion about what is and is not a backslash.

00:04:22.400 They had an opposite of what you said.

00:04:24.260 I'm saying forward slash.

00:04:26.380 Wait, do I say forward slash?

00:04:29.880 I don't know.

00:04:30.640 See, now I'm all confused.

00:04:31.780 That's why I just say slash.

00:04:33.240 Everybody knows which way the slash goes.

00:04:35.380 Okay.

00:04:37.040 On URLs, those are forward slashes.

00:04:40.320 And then everything else, like file paths are backslashes.

00:04:45.840 Okay.

00:04:46.840 Okay.

00:04:46.960 Here we go.

00:04:48.180 Carl Kale.

00:04:49.060 What would be the one piece of advice you could give a new person training for an event

00:04:55.640 that they have not done before?

00:04:58.440 That's a good question.

00:04:59.980 A new event they've never done before.

00:05:02.340 I would just say find people who have done that event and do exactly what they do.

00:05:06.980 There's no reason to reinvent the wheel.

00:05:08.920 I think a lot of guys are like, oh, what should I do?

00:05:10.740 And how should I train?

00:05:11.500 And it's like, just find somebody who's done it before, who's been successful and just ask

00:05:14.920 them what you should do.

00:05:15.760 And they'll give you so much more valuable insight than anybody else and then do it.

00:05:19.940 I know a lot of people are like, well, I don't know because this and that.

00:05:22.380 It's like, dude, you've never run the event before.

00:05:25.020 So don't pretend like you know.

00:05:27.040 Get your ego out of the way.

00:05:28.400 Just ask somebody what they've done and then just do it.

00:05:31.900 And Ryan, do you think a lot of guys would be even more than willing to provide insight

00:05:37.700 and advice to newcomers?

00:05:41.100 100%.

00:05:41.460 I mean, I haven't found anybody who's like, I'm sorry, I'm not going to share that

00:05:45.560 information with you.

00:05:46.540 Like, why would they do that?

00:05:49.260 They wouldn't do that.

00:05:50.600 They want to be supportive.

00:05:51.820 They want to help.

00:05:52.600 They want you to be involved in what it is they are involved with.

00:05:57.520 One area that I can think of very clearly is the hunting industry.

00:06:01.600 Now, I know that's not necessarily like an event necessarily.

00:06:05.140 I guess it kind of is.

00:06:06.460 I've never met anybody or asked a question of anybody in the industry and they've said,

00:06:10.560 oh, I'm sorry.

00:06:11.620 I got to keep that little tidbit of secret.

00:06:13.520 No, people, the overwhelming majority of people want to help.

00:06:17.360 You just have to ask because they're not going to just unsolicitedly like give you advice.

00:06:22.200 You just have to ask and they'll give it to you.

00:06:25.100 Cool.

00:06:25.760 All right.

00:06:26.520 Next quest.

00:06:27.760 Joshua Laycock, patron and iron council member.

00:06:31.980 I'm interested in hunting and have no issue with harvesting for food, but I'm unsure how I'd

00:06:37.460 feel to actually pull the trigger.

00:06:39.400 How did you feel leading up to and during the following your first successful hunt?

00:06:45.980 Well, I mean, I grew up around hunting.

00:06:47.960 I never got involved in hunting until 2000.

00:06:51.860 My first hunt was November of 2017.

00:06:56.280 So just about a year ago.

00:06:57.800 But I went to high school with a bunch of hunters.

00:07:01.020 I spent time with a bunch of hunters.

00:07:02.560 My wife and her family are all hunters.

00:07:04.560 And so I kind of have a little bit of inside knowledge into how the world works.

00:07:09.020 And I've been exposed to it and I've helped gut deer and everything else without being

00:07:13.700 my own hunt.

00:07:14.340 So I've always been around it.

00:07:15.780 But I remember that hunt that I went.

00:07:17.780 It was a whitetail hunt.

00:07:18.740 It was both a rifle and a bow hunt.

00:07:20.200 And I took two deer that weekend.

00:07:23.780 The first one that I shot was with my rifle.

00:07:27.100 And I remember seeing the deer dead.

00:07:31.620 And it was really bittersweet for me because this creature was awesome.

00:07:36.980 It was this magnificent deer.

00:07:38.840 And it was pretty incredible.

00:07:40.160 And then to know that I was the one that took its life, right?

00:07:45.000 So it's not a, I think there's a misconception among the public that they think that hunters

00:07:51.520 are these like rednecks and they just go out and they're just shooting animals and they're 1.00

00:07:55.320 just like having all kinds of fun.

00:07:57.340 And I get it.

00:07:57.920 You know, we see these pictures.

00:07:59.980 One of the guys I follow his name is Ben O'Brien.

00:08:01.800 He talks about gripping grins where you're standing over a dead animal and you're gripping

00:08:05.800 it and you're smiling.

00:08:06.620 And without any inside knowledge into the world of hunting, it'd be very easy to look

00:08:12.360 at that picture and think, why are these guys celebrating death?

00:08:15.280 Why are they mocking this animal?

00:08:17.100 And it's the exact opposite of that.

00:08:18.980 It's not.

00:08:19.560 It's a celebration of a successful hunt.

00:08:22.620 It's a celebration of overcoming something or completing something that you set out to

00:08:27.840 do.

00:08:28.120 It's a celebration of providing for your family and your friends.

00:08:32.140 So you just deal with it.

00:08:34.580 And everybody deals with it a little bit differently.

00:08:36.340 I imagine.

00:08:37.020 But for me, it was very sobering.

00:08:38.800 It really brought into light the importance of being an ethical hunter and the realization

00:08:48.420 that this is a game for keeps.

00:08:50.620 And so it's my obligation and responsibility to end that animal's life as quickly and humanely

00:08:58.360 as I possibly can.

00:08:59.600 It's not necessarily like, I don't know of too many hunters who relish the kill necessarily

00:09:10.320 like that.

00:09:10.840 You know what I mean?

00:09:11.360 Like, I think they enjoy the pursuit.

00:09:15.020 I think they enjoy the accomplishment.

00:09:17.340 I think they enjoy being able to provide for their family and friends.

00:09:22.860 But the taking of a life of an animal is not something that these guys take lightly.

00:09:28.940 It's certainly not.

00:09:31.620 I hope that helps.

00:09:32.480 I mean, you just have to do that.

00:09:33.620 I would just say, go out there and experience it.

00:09:35.560 Go with somebody, you know, and ask people, hey, can I go on your hunt with you?

00:09:39.500 I think just like the previous question, I think people want to share that world.

00:09:43.560 So I think they're more than happy to do that.

00:09:46.140 Well, and I think it's completely natural to have that experience to be bittersweet.

00:09:51.680 It should be if it's not.

00:09:52.940 That's kind of weird.

00:09:54.000 Yeah, it should be.

00:09:55.280 And I mean, and that's also where the appreciation of that animal comes from.

00:09:59.760 And that changes the perception of where our meat comes from.

00:10:02.480 And it's a good thing.

00:10:03.900 Like, it's not a thing to be avoided, if that makes sense.

00:10:07.540 It's no different than just even livestock and killing cattle.

00:10:12.800 It's like, oh, that's sad.

00:10:13.920 But yeah, guess what?

00:10:14.840 It should be sad a little bit.

00:10:16.480 Like, I should be aware that a life was taken for me to eat that steak.

00:10:21.400 Like, that's a good thing.

00:10:23.300 Not a thing to be avoided.

00:10:24.940 Yeah, it should be sobering for sure.

00:10:27.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:28.060 I don't, it's just, we just take eating too lightly because it's so convenient.

00:10:33.060 Right?

00:10:33.500 We can go to the gas station and we can get all the junk food.

00:10:36.520 We can get beef.

00:10:36.940 We can get whatever we want, right?

00:10:38.240 It's all right there.

00:10:38.940 It's easy.

00:10:39.280 Fast food, everything's just so easy.

00:10:41.160 And so, we take this idea of eating and consumption so lightly.

00:10:44.620 I even think about the idea of consumption around the holidays.

00:10:47.500 Not necessarily with hunting, but just the mass consumption that we as human beings engage in.

00:10:53.040 And quite honestly, it's a little disgusting.

00:10:55.620 But when you go out into the wilderness, I went out on a hunt this weekend.

00:10:59.820 It was just a one-day hunt with a friend of mine.

00:11:01.640 It was a cow-elk tag that we had. 0.89

00:11:03.620 It was called a depredation tag.

00:11:05.300 So, the way this works, for those of you who don't know, is the BLM or DWR, Department of Wildlife Resources, will issue private landowners depredation tags.

00:11:19.160 And essentially, what they're trying to do is they're trying to thin out herds that have grown too large.

00:11:24.600 So, they're actually managing the land very well.

00:11:26.620 So, my buddy, his dad has some land and they gave him some depredation tags and he invited me to come on this hunt.

00:11:34.660 And, you know, I went out there and we charged around for eight to nine hours.

00:11:38.800 And we, I think we put about eight miles in, just hiking through the snow and everything on a Saturday.

00:11:45.760 And we came across a herd, but never really got close enough to a shot.

00:11:50.280 But the thing that it teaches me is that it's not a mass consumption type thing.

00:11:56.220 And because you have to work so hard for it, it's so much more, you appreciate it that much more.

00:12:01.480 So, it's not just this light, like, oh, let's just consume and this ignorance about where our food comes from.

00:12:08.220 It's a very deep connection with it.

00:12:10.100 And then eating is significantly more significant because you realize what actually went into the process of bringing a deer or elk or whatever it may be from the field to your table.

00:12:22.220 Yeah. And I think there's lots of ways that we can do this, even without hunting.

00:12:26.220 Like my daughters, I mean, they're only five and seven.

00:12:28.820 And you think they know where their meat comes from?

00:12:32.140 Yeah. I remind them on a regular basis.

00:12:34.080 Yeah.

00:12:34.380 What are you eating? I'm eating a pig.

00:12:36.380 I'm eating a cow.

00:12:37.160 And some, some relatives might be like, man, that's a little, no, that's the, that's the truth.

00:12:42.720 That's why would you hide that from them?

00:12:44.340 Yeah. They need to understand.

00:12:45.740 In fact, we, we actually get a cow every year or so.

00:12:49.540 And, um, this last time it was this beautiful Jersey cow, big brown eyes, big eyelash, beautiful cow.

00:12:59.640 Yeah.

00:13:00.080 I snapped a photo of it before we killed it, send it to my wife and say, Oh, show the girls that daddy got him a cow. 1.00

00:13:06.720 Oh, it's super pretty. And then like the next pictures, it's on its back.

00:13:11.720 Oh, all opened up. 1.00

00:13:14.200 And she's like, you're an ass. 1.00

00:13:16.200 It's hard because if you, if you're not around it, it's very easy to think that people are being irreverent about it. 1.00

00:13:23.200 And, and, and look, don't get me wrong. There are people who are irreverent about it, right?

00:13:27.220 Where they just relish that and they're, they're mocking the animal or they're taking it lightly.

00:13:31.560 And that's not good. That's not good at all. I don't think.

00:13:35.320 Um, but it is important, you know, even down to me and our family, we have 14 chickens.

00:13:42.040 So my kids go out, not now cause it's cold. They're not laying, but they'll go out and they'll collect the eggs and bring them in.

00:13:49.260 And we have omelets from the eggs from that morning and they know they have a very clear path between where their food comes from,

00:13:56.880 what it actually is that you're consuming and how important it is to our way of life.

00:14:03.160 That's cool. Yeah.

00:14:04.720 If you move to Maine, are you going to be able to have chickens? You're going to like freeze to death.

00:14:09.380 Well, they, they would if they were outside, but in the barn of this place that we're looking at is down in the, in the, uh, the cellar of the barn there,

00:14:18.340 they actually have a chicken coop in there. I see. So, and a, and a goat pen as well.

00:14:23.240 So we can bring livestock inside. That's crazy. It's awesome. Crazy. All right. Next question.

00:14:30.360 Uh, Chris Dalton. I want to wish Ryan and Kip a Merry Christmas order of man has impacted my life in a deep and

00:14:37.200 profound way. Thank you. Cool. Our honor. Yeah. Um,

00:14:43.080 I don't recall you doing an episode specifically on suffering and the tremendous individual and personal

00:14:48.720 growth that results from treachery that suffering causes. Have you considered talking about this in

00:14:54.380 a future episode? I'm sure it will come up during the Goggins interview, but I think a lot of us want

00:14:59.400 to hear your own thoughts on suffering. Yeah, it definitely will come up. I've got an interview

00:15:04.640 scheduled with, uh, David Goggins mid January. So that'll be coming out. We'll definitely talk about

00:15:09.080 that. Um, I've talked about it. I know like a couple of years ago, I did that Spartan Goggi,

00:15:13.940 which is a 60 hour endurance event and it was physically and mentally taxing and emotionally

00:15:18.180 draining and physically demanding of course. And so I talked about that, but yeah, I mean,

00:15:23.180 think about the lives that we live there. They're so sedentary, right? Like the other day when I was up

00:15:29.400 in Salt Lake for that hunt, uh, it was cold out in the morning. So I just like peeked my head out the

00:15:34.220 window and started my car manually from, from inside the house. So it'd warm up and, and look,

00:15:39.920 these little creature comforts are comfortable, right? We, we love, that's why they're called

00:15:43.360 comforts that they're nice. And, and I think it's our human condition to elevate our standard of

00:15:48.520 living, right? We were always look, that's why the wheel was invented. That's why fire was discovered

00:15:54.180 so that we could, or harnessed, I should say, so that we could improve our way of life. And it served

00:15:59.600 us well in a lot of ways. Uh, and in a lot of ways it's actually hindered us and hurt us because we

00:16:05.480 don't put ourselves in situations that are physically demanding, emotionally taxing, mentally

00:16:10.140 stressful. Uh, and then what happens is when we're faced with these real life situations, whether that's

00:16:16.700 a loss of a job or a physical illness or injury or a divorce or a bankruptcy, any number of things that

00:16:24.560 could happen to any one of us at any time, uh, it completely wrecks us because we aren't physically,

00:16:30.740 mentally, and emotionally prepared for that. I've seen the littlest of things bring a man to his knees.

00:16:37.380 And I just think to myself, this is an individual who has not inoculated himself against what could

00:16:43.580 potentially happen. So the way that we inoculate ourselves is by introducing stressful, difficult

00:16:50.020 hardships voluntarily into our lives so that we harden ourselves. That could be as simple as going

00:16:57.000 out in the morning and, uh, lifting weights to running a marathon to, uh, speaking in public 0.74

00:17:04.660 because you know, that scares the shit out of you. Pick something that, you know, man, this is so scary 0.54

00:17:10.340 to me. I don't want to do this. I'm uncomfortable about this and understand that because you're

00:17:14.940 uncomfortable about it, that's probably a pretty good indicator that you should actually do that thing.

00:17:20.420 So I'm looking for ways to struggle. You know, when I think about running, for example, and I hate

00:17:26.160 running, uh, but, and, but I've been doing a lot more of it lately specifically for the reason,

00:17:31.940 that reason that I hate it, that I don't enjoy it because I know that physically, sure, that'll help

00:17:36.640 me, but mentally that helps me too. The other thing I started doing lately as I'm running is no more

00:17:42.140 headphones, no more music because it's significantly easier to run with music or a podcast than it is to

00:17:48.200 run without. Yeah. Cause you're not in your head as much, right? Exactly. Yeah. Cause your mind, cause

00:17:52.360 you're not, you're, you're distracting your mind from telling you this hurts. This, this is stupid. 1.00

00:17:57.300 You don't need this. This is dumb. Yeah. That's what your mind is. So now what I'm doing is conditioning 1.00

00:18:02.880 my mind or conditioning myself to tune that little voice out that rears its ugly head and tries to get

00:18:10.220 me to quit. So I think if we look, we're going to face hardship, right? You faced hardship, Kip. I've

00:18:16.820 faced hardship. Every single individual listening to this podcast is faced hardship. At some point,

00:18:22.940 you're going to face it. So you can do it voluntarily. You can introduce it into your life.

00:18:26.920 And that may not actually keep you from experience other hardship in your life. It just helps you

00:18:32.340 prepare for it physically, mentally, and emotionally. So yeah, do hard things, be uncomfortable, push

00:18:38.880 yourself. If you're scared, do that thing. And I feel like you'll be much more equipped to deal with

00:18:44.140 the adversities of life that are inevitably bound to happen. One thing I like when I, when I heard this

00:18:51.960 question by, um, uh, Chris is it's funny. We, we put a, we put the label of hardship as negative always

00:19:02.080 like that. Just in the term itself, right? Hardship. Hardship. Oh, it shouldn't be this way. It's wrong if

00:19:08.200 it shows up. But yet we have this folly of thinking like, Oh, well I need to become a better person. Well, guess

00:19:15.000 where that happens guys in hardship. Like in most cases, that is where growth is. So we need to stop

00:19:23.080 kind of almost having a negative label on it and saying, Hey, this is, this is part of life. Yeah.

00:19:28.620 This is part of the growth process. It's true. It's so true. And you know, one, one of the things

00:19:34.420 I think about is I need to make the distinction is that you should, you, you shouldn't make it

00:19:40.140 difficult just for the sake of it being difficult in the actual test itself. Yeah. Right. But when

00:19:46.800 you're training, I was listening to a podcast with Chad Mendez this morning and I was thinking about

00:19:51.080 his training regimen. He talked about it and how he's training two to three times a day and what he's

00:19:54.920 eating and how he's putting his body through this very strenuous time so that he can be adequately

00:20:03.060 prepared to face that opponent in the ring. Well, in the ring, he's not going to put one hand behind

00:20:09.940 his back. So it's, so he's facing hardship, but you don't, you don't do that in the test. You do

00:20:15.160 that in the training so that when it really counts, whether it's in your relationship or a fight like

00:20:21.160 Chad or the business or any facet of life, when it really counts, then you're, or, or jujitsu,

00:20:28.540 then, then you're adequately prepared. You don't make it hard. Then you make it hard in the training.

00:20:33.460 So you're prepared for that test, if you will. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And then, and then that test is just

00:20:38.820 a reaction of your training. It's no longer a, you are now just acting based upon how well your

00:20:45.960 training was. Right. Yeah. Because there's nothing you can do at that point. No. And it's not the time

00:20:51.360 where you also become innovative and figure it out. And now I'm going to try some new things. Yeah. Or

00:20:56.560 I'm going to experiment here. Well, that's actually a folly. A lot of guys have is they say, well, when it

00:21:01.060 counts, then I'll do X, Y, Z. And it's that, that adage. I can't, I can't remember who said it.

00:21:06.720 An ancient philosopher said, we don't rise to the level of our, or excuse me. We don't,

00:21:12.260 yeah, we don't rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our

00:21:15.940 training. So make it hard on yourself. And then when it really counts, you'll find yourself in

00:21:21.880 the position to navigate those, those murky waters. Yeah. Copy. All right. Jump into the Facebook

00:21:29.440 questions. Uh, we have a couple of quick, uh, Christmas ones. I kind of moved them up the list

00:21:35.400 because, well, tomorrow's Christmas. So here you go. As of, as of this, when it releases,

00:21:41.260 yesterday will be Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. So Kyle Niblett, what traditions have you guys made within

00:21:48.520 your homes for Christmas time? I mean, we do the standard stuff like you, I think a lot of people

00:21:53.580 open one present before, you know, on Christmas Eve. Uh, we read the, the Christmas story. And when I say

00:22:01.120 the Christmas story, I mean the Christmas story, like the birth of Christ. Right. So we read that

00:22:06.600 in the evening. Uh, we usually do a family gathering. Like we're going to do a family,

00:22:11.300 a little party tonight where everybody comes and they bring food and we just have a little

00:22:15.560 celebration and do the white elephant gifts. Uh, most years, me and my two oldest boys actually go

00:22:22.600 down and chop down Christmas trees, uh, which is a lot of fun this year. I, I took these.

00:22:27.800 Cop out this year. Cop out. Yeah. I feel really guilty about that. Actually. I look at my tree

00:22:33.920 and it's beautiful. I look at it. I'm like, I'm a failure as a father. I have this beautiful tree

00:22:39.720 and it's, it means nothing to us. You know what I mean? Uh, so next year we'll go back out, but

00:22:46.480 those are some of the things that, that we, you know, the other thing too, is last year, I actually,

00:22:50.660 I went to Hawaii last year for Christmas and I don't ever want to have Christmas at home again.

00:22:56.820 Oh, you don't? No, no. Interesting. Because I feel like I'm obligated to like spend a bunch

00:23:05.220 of time with people that I don't really know, or frankly don't necessarily even like, uh, or that

00:23:11.220 I have to give, you know, deliver cookies to every single human being in my neighborhood. And I'm like,

00:23:16.720 I don't even know you. I don't even talk to you guys. That's another thing that kills me off is,

00:23:21.100 um, uh, well, I think my wife just said she got your Christmas card. I don't understand why people

00:23:26.280 do Christmas cards. I'm like, what? Dude, if I want to see you, I'll jump on Facebook or whatever.

00:23:32.200 Although Kip, we do appreciate your Christmas card.

00:23:34.680 It doesn't sound like you appreciate me.

00:23:38.680 At least maybe your wife did. 0.97

00:23:40.460 She did. Um, I don't, I don't understand it. And then, and then in addition to that,

00:23:46.700 I feel like I just have to like buy everything. When, when we were in Hawaii last year,

00:23:52.540 I didn't feel like that at all. Like we went to the beach and we were, we had dinner together as

00:23:58.500 a family. I think we brought some very small gifts, maybe like a set of Legos or something

00:24:03.040 that we did in the morning. It was just, it was awesome. And it was an experience and we're still

00:24:06.860 talking about it versus buying the garbage that's under the tree. Now I don't, that's just going to

00:24:14.660 break in like a month or they're not even going to be, find it like fun anymore. I just want to

00:24:19.880 create more experiences. Yeah. That's interesting. I'm not trying to sound like a Scrooge here a

00:24:26.040 little bit, but I guess maybe I am. You do sound like that. That's funny. I hate traveling for

00:24:33.160 Christmas. Asia wants to do it every year and I don't want to do it. No. I want to be at home.

00:24:37.760 I'm old school, man. I want to snow. I want to be in my basement. I want to stay up late,

00:24:44.120 watch Christmas movies, lay by the tree, take a nap midday, eat a lot of food. Just, I,

00:24:49.460 I like the just chill, lazy Christmas at home. I don't know. I love it.

00:24:58.240 Whatever. Uh, strokes for different folks, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Tradition wise, we do a couple

00:25:03.560 of fun stuff. So, well, actually they're pretty normal. Um, the present before, right? We,

00:25:09.620 yeah, I think a lot of people do that. We always typically have family over for Christmas Eve

00:25:14.500 dinner. So that's tonight, which means I'm only working half a day cause I need to get home and

00:25:18.620 help, uh, set up and cook deviled eggs. That's kind of like my job every year. But, um, we do

00:25:25.820 that mean deviled egg apparently. Yeah, they are good. They are really good. I eat like half of them.

00:25:34.360 So, but yeah, uh, one thing I love about my neighborhood, it's more of a neighborhood

00:25:39.820 tradition. Uh, I can't take credit for the idea, but we have a guy, well, you know, Ryan, so

00:25:45.960 you took a picture of that flag. Yeah. And that Canyon. Yeah. And the Canyon hanging across the

00:25:52.580 Canyon there. Yeah. So that's my, that's my neighborhood. The same individual that puts

00:25:56.960 that flag up for the month of July. Um, which by the way is, is a feat in itself. How, how big is that

00:26:04.520 flag? That flag is huge. It is a massive flag. It's really, really heavy, like 50 feet, like

00:26:11.560 that big, like that thing looks humongous. Yeah. It's, it's the largest flag that commercial

00:26:16.980 flag. I think they could buy from a store in salt Lake and those. And for those of you who

00:26:22.500 don't know, it's, it's literally hanging a thousand feet in the air across a Canyon.

00:26:28.300 Yeah. It's, it's impressive. It's super impressive. Anyway, sorry, go ahead. Yeah. Drones are used 0.92

00:26:34.180 to pass parachute court across guys or heaving. Oh really? Oh yeah. Because the wind coming from

00:26:40.080 that Canyon is super strong. I bet. So the, the strength in and, uh, and quality of anchoring

00:26:48.240 has to be like really just spot on. Anyhow. So that's that same man that puts up that flag

00:26:53.880 in our neighborhood. Uh, he does a Christmas star during the month of December across the

00:27:00.040 lines or whatever. No. So instead of the flag, almost about as high up against the mountain

00:27:06.460 he has, he packs up and has this led star that he created. Really? They pack up with

00:27:13.460 generators. They put the star up there. And then every night during the month of December,

00:27:17.660 some people in the neighborhood will hike up with new fuel, restart the generator, kick

00:27:23.900 it off. And it runs until about 2 AM. And they do it every single night during Christmas.

00:27:28.820 It's that's cool. Awesome. And you just hold in the neighborhood and you see the star up

00:27:32.080 on the mountain and it, Oh guys, we're not talking like foothill star. We're, I mean, it's

00:27:36.540 a, it's a hike. It's, it's quite a ways up there. It's, it's pretty cool. Did they, so

00:27:40.800 did they have to get permission from the city? I think, uh, I, I think we just claim

00:27:46.500 that mountain and say it's ours and we just do whatever. No, I don't think so. I don't

00:27:52.080 think so. In fact, uh, that same individual, he, he saw, uh, there's a, uh, shoreline trail

00:27:58.340 there that went to, used to go over a Creek. He just built a bridge for it. He's like, yeah,

00:28:03.640 built this beautiful little bridge. It just kind of made an engineer. Uh, you know what?

00:28:07.940 I don't know. He's a retired now. He must be an engineer or something. Yeah. But he's just

00:28:12.000 kind of like, you know, this mountain needs this. So he's just kind of, he's the caretaker

00:28:15.860 for the mountain for loan. You know, well, that's awesome because that, I just liked

00:28:20.860 that. He's proud of it, right? He's flat, proud of the area and he wants to improve

00:28:23.800 there, but you know, somebody is going to bitch and moan about that flag at some point 1.00

00:28:27.280 or the star or something. That's, that's, what's so dumb about it is somebody is going 0.98

00:28:31.180 to complain about it. And then the city is going to come in and say, well, you know, 0.96

00:28:35.320 you can't do this according to this. It's ridiculous, man. It really is. 0.99

00:28:39.220 Hopefully that hasn't happened yet. We had someone, we think someone, um, uh, what do

00:28:46.140 you call it? The shot, like an arrow through the flag a couple of years ago caused a tear

00:28:51.180 in it. Yeah. So we mid, mid month, the entire neighborhood donated money. We bought a new

00:28:57.920 flag, went back up there mid month and restrung out a new flag. This is pretty, it was cool that

00:29:03.820 the neighborhood's kind of like, no, this is a really big deal for us.

00:29:06.220 Yeah. No, I like that. I like that. They, that you guys rally around that and, uh, have

00:29:11.100 that tradition. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it is cool. Not my idea, but, uh, someone

00:29:15.280 else's super cool stuff. All right. Josh Perez. Hello. What gift, uh, do you give a first

00:29:20.740 time father? We'll make it quick. Um, do you have an idea? I have to think on this

00:29:26.140 one. Well, you know, I just think of Gatch go cause he's a first time daddy this past

00:29:31.520 six months. And I think his battle team aimed up getting him like that tactical baby

00:29:35.880 carrier. I thought it was awesome. That is cool. Super guy, guy gift, but it was like

00:29:41.800 a tactical baby bag and, and like, uh, I don't know what you want to call it. Like

00:29:46.800 a carrier for the baby on your chest. Right. Yeah. But I guess that's good. I don't, I

00:29:53.160 don't know. I actually probably for a first time father wouldn't get somebody a gift

00:29:58.540 different than what I would get them normally. Yeah. Based on because everybody's getting

00:30:03.920 stuff for the baby and it's like, you got all that stuff, but like, and I'm not saying

00:30:08.280 you like somebody, a dad needs a gift or whatever, but I think just celebrate that individual.

00:30:13.400 You know, you know who that person is. I don't know what they're into, whether maybe they're

00:30:17.140 into hunting or outdoors and you know, you get them a nice knife and you just, you, you tell

00:30:21.780 them congratulations or whatever. Um, I don't, I don't think there needs to be like something

00:30:26.460 unique to, to having a son or a daughter necessarily. Yeah. I do think that, I mean, I, I, if we looked

00:30:34.800 at the percentage of men that have greatly changed their lives due to having a child, I'd

00:30:41.140 say it's probably really high. So maybe a book about being a, being a father. Yeah. That's

00:30:45.720 a good idea. Take advantage of the situation that, Hey, you know, this is an opportune time

00:30:49.280 for someone to level up and, and get ready for more. A book about fatherhood for sure. Um, even

00:30:54.940 just a book about general improvement. Cause the better, the more that you improve by default,

00:30:59.580 you're going to be a better father. So maybe there's a book about improvement. I don't know.

00:31:03.100 Like, uh, I heard there's this book called sovereignty. That's pretty decent. You know,

00:31:07.120 you might want to pick up a copy of sovereignty for this individual. Um, yeah, uh, just whatever,

00:31:14.180 whatever they're into. There you go. So I wish I could be more helpful on that. I'm not a great

00:31:18.440 gift giver. So I don't know. Cause I'm a Scrooge. Yeah. I just want to go away from everybody

00:31:25.340 during Christmas. I don't want to give anybody anything and just, he's joking. He's joking.

00:31:32.080 No, I'm serious. All right. What do we got? Alexander Lake, what is the best way you can

00:31:39.000 think of giving to your community for Christmas? Uh, to the community. Uh, well, that's a good

00:31:45.420 question. Uh, I would serve in some capacity. I think probably is the best thing you could do for

00:31:51.380 your community. Like I'm really involved in coaching. I love coaching for the community

00:31:55.320 center. Uh, I coach about five teams, I would say a year between basketball, football, baseball.

00:32:03.540 I think that's the best thing that you can do. I think that's probably where you're most needed as

00:32:07.140 well. Uh, but there may be some, some volunteer, you know, firefighter positions or search and rescue.

00:32:12.480 We've got a search volunteer search and rescue team here, uh, that a lot of people volunteer for,

00:32:17.320 but I think they need manpower. So that's where I would, that's where I would focus. Like where,

00:32:23.700 where can I serve? Uh, maybe they have some community classes that you can teach,

00:32:27.660 whether that's, I don't know, martial arts, or maybe there's a, maybe you're, you're a woodworker

00:32:32.640 and you could volunteer to help people in the community learn woodworking. There's all sorts of

00:32:36.820 volunteer opportunities. I would go down to your local community center. Uh, one thing my wife does 1.00

00:32:41.700 that's pretty cool is she actually goes, uh, and does a story time at the library every week.

00:32:47.140 So she'll sit down for an hour. Uh, she does it actually, I think she does it once or twice a 0.98

00:32:51.980 month and she goes in on a Wednesday or whatever, and she reads a story to the kids, whatever the

00:32:57.580 story is, but she puts on this big, huge production. Like she'll, she'll add music into it and make 1.00

00:33:04.200 little goodies and then have crafts for them. That's cool. I wouldn't necessarily do that,

00:33:08.500 but I'm saying like she found an opportunity to serve the community. I know the library is really

00:33:12.340 grateful for it and it's serving the kids. So there's all sorts of service opportunities. And

00:33:16.820 I, I think that's probably where you ought to focus as a, as a man. Yeah. If that was you at the

00:33:21.000 library, you'd just show up and have these big elaborate gifts. They're all wrapped and beautiful

00:33:26.480 and then hand it to all the little kids and it'd have coal or dirt inside of them.

00:33:30.720 I wouldn't even wrap it. I would just give me bags of coal. It's like, here,

00:33:34.260 get out of here, get out of here. It's Christmas. Go home. Spend time with your family.

00:33:39.860 Oh, that's funny. What do you think? Uh, for community, you know, I think, uh, in fact,

00:33:46.920 I said this to the guys on, uh, on my battle team just last night that, that Christmas is an amazing

00:33:53.720 time of year for a lot of people. And this is also really dark and can be a really depressing time of

00:33:59.080 year. So I think from a community perspective, just being aware of who's maybe spending Christmas

00:34:04.540 alone, um, and maybe doing some necessary action to let them know that they're thought of or inviting

00:34:12.440 them over, or I don't know, doing something for those people. Cause this, this can be a tough time

00:34:16.980 of year for some people. So. I like that one year. Um, we had, we had some, some fairly new or let's see.

00:34:23.840 Oh, we knew they weren't going to have any family around and we did do our big family,

00:34:27.560 uh, dinner the night before, like I was telling you about. And we just invited them to say, Hey,

00:34:34.060 we know your family's out of town or they're not around. So why don't you just come over? And they

00:34:37.640 spent a couple hours with us and we had a good time and it was fun and it wasn't, they didn't put us

00:34:41.400 out anything and included them. And I think there's all kinds of little, I think a lot of the times we

00:34:46.520 just think it has to be something grand and, and, and magnificent. And sometimes it doesn't,

00:34:51.220 it's just something very, very simple that doesn't put you out necessarily. And, and it makes that

00:34:55.320 person feel warm and welcome. And that's a good thing. So just these little, uh, these little

00:35:00.420 base hits, right? Just the fundamentals and the basics. They don't have to be grand. They just

00:35:03.920 have to be consistent and thoughtful. Yeah, totally. All right. Next question. Justin Shaver,

00:35:11.100 what advice do you have for a father or husband who wants to be able to defend his family without

00:35:15.480 owning a firearm? Well, so there's two avenues I would think on this and, and I obviously self-defense

00:35:22.360 is a huge one, right? I think you ought to be able to defend yourself. And I think even more

00:35:26.800 fundamentally than that is the physical fitness component. You have to be fit, healthy. You have

00:35:32.260 to, you have to be healthy. That to me is not even a question. I see so many men who are overweight

00:35:40.340 and out of shape. And frankly, they're just living less that less than they're capable of. They're not

00:35:46.400 as effective as, as they are as, can they be good fathers? Yes. Good husbands? Yes. Good employees and

00:35:52.120 business. Yes. But not nearly effective as they could be had they had been in shape. So get in

00:35:58.200 shape, then learn martial art, whether that's jujitsu or wrestling or boxing, but there's something to

00:36:04.740 be said for, for being able to do violence with your body to another individual and be somewhat familiar

00:36:10.320 with it as well. So you're not completely caught off guard. One thing that I think everybody ought to

00:36:14.980 be aware of too, that a lot of times gets overlooked is people say, well, I have a firearm, so I'm going to

00:36:21.320 be able to defend my house. You might under the perfect set of circumstances. What if somebody

00:36:26.400 sneaks in? What if you don't hear them? What if there's no other alert? What, you know, it's like

00:36:30.520 you got to have a, a defensible space. Yeah. So that means that you, you have deadbolts on the door.

00:36:38.360 It means you have security cameras. It means you have a security system. A dog is certainly something

00:36:44.720 you ought to consider. I definitely think having some sort of plan so that if something were to happen,

00:36:49.580 this isn't the first time you've ever been exposed to it. These are all ways that you can defend your

00:36:54.880 home without having to use a firearm. So a lot of guys will say, oh, I have a firearm or I know

00:37:02.060 jujitsu. It's like, well, great. That's an element, but there ought to be multiple layers to your strategy

00:37:07.460 here. So jujitsu is great. Then add boxing, then add wrestling. That's all great. Now your home is like,

00:37:13.700 well, you have a dog. Good. Now have a security system. Now have alarms. Now have an evacuation process.

00:37:18.500 Now, if you can and have a desire to own a firearm and be able to train with that and train your

00:37:22.920 family with those things. These are all little layers that you can add in order to potentially

00:37:28.200 protect yourself from any situation that may arise. Totally. Clint Emerson actually has some really good

00:37:34.680 stuff. He's a former Navy SEAL, a New York times bestselling author. He's been on a couple of times.

00:37:39.440 100 deadly skills is his, is his book. But his second one, I can't remember. I can't remember

00:37:48.040 the exact title. It's a hundred deadly skills, but it's got a different emphasis than survival.

00:37:53.240 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got some stuff in there on creating a, a, a defendable space with

00:38:00.960 regards to your domain is what he calls it. So there's some really good stuff there.

00:38:04.360 That's right. I think he does like the layers, like a distance layers and he kind of breaks it

00:38:09.800 down a little bit. Right? Yeah. I can't remember all of the things. I know he talks about like,

00:38:14.480 like in your door frames, replacing all the screws with longer screws. Yeah. He's like,

00:38:20.060 you're not going to be able to keep somebody out, but if you can slow them down, it gives you

00:38:23.140 some time to react and to implement your plan. So you're not completely caught off guard. So he does

00:38:27.620 a lot of different stuff like this. It's really, really valuable. Cool. And I, we've,

00:38:31.720 we've implemented some of it. I'm sad to say we haven't implemented everything in there,

00:38:35.500 but again, the more layers that you can add, the better off you're going to be.

00:38:39.080 Yeah. Very cool. That's kind of a fun conversation actually. Um, all right. So next question, Paul,

00:38:47.460 you have cat. Okay. How do you fit self-care into your daily, weekly, and monthly routine?

00:38:54.080 Uh, well, there's different avenues of self-care. Physical fitness is done every single day,

00:39:00.280 every single morning I get up, I go work out. And then if I can later, I usually lately I've been

00:39:06.740 working out twice a day. So I'll go in and do my, what I call them like my real workout in the

00:39:12.380 morning, whether that's going into the gym and doing CrossFit or just going out back into my shop

00:39:16.280 and doing my workout in my home gym. Uh, that's done every single morning. And then in the afternoon,

00:39:21.380 I usually have a little bit of time that I've carved out. So I will either go for a run or,

00:39:26.700 uh, do some, just a basic light workout in the garage. Um, so, so I've been doing that,

00:39:33.120 but I also take a day or evening or like, like just whenever early to mid afternoon,

00:39:39.080 like two, three o'clock somewhere in there. Okay. And then even at night, one of the things I started

00:39:43.940 doing is we, I'm good friends with Bert Soren. He's the CEO of SorenX. They do exercise equipment

00:39:50.280 and he sent me the center mass bells. They're kind of similar to kettlebells, except for you

00:39:55.340 actually stick your hands inside of the bell itself and they have handles there. So I take

00:40:01.940 the light ones. I think they're the 20 pound ones and they're actually in my living room.

00:40:05.580 So at night, if things are slow, the kids are in bed, maybe my wife sewing or doing something,

00:40:10.140 whatever she's doing, wrapping presents or whatever. Um, I'll actually do a light workout

00:40:14.620 just in my living room. So I'll do like butterflies. I'll do curls. I'll do shoulder presses. I'll do,

00:40:22.020 um, what are they called like negative pushups where you actually go below parallel

00:40:25.680 because I'm, I'm putting my hands on the bells themselves. So there's a lot of different stuff

00:40:29.920 that I can just do in the living room. So that's on the physical fitness side. Uh, but then there's

00:40:35.720 the, the intellectual side, mental, emotional sides, right? So reading every day, whether that's in

00:40:40.820 the morning or evening that gets done every single day, at least 30 minutes of reading.

00:40:44.340 Uh, and then also hobbies are really important to me. And I think they should be to every single

00:40:50.640 man. And this is one thing that actually goes by the wayside very, very quickly, especially as a

00:40:54.980 man gets into a relationship. The first thing to go is his hobbies, his interests, his activities.

00:41:00.080 So for me right now, it's, I'm really into becoming a better bow hunter and archer. So I practice

00:41:07.600 archery for at least 30 minutes every single day. And that's usually done again in the mid afternoon.

00:41:13.160 So I'll go out and do my workout. And I usually, uh, intertwine my workouts with shooting because

00:41:19.760 I want to be able to shoot under a little bit of physical stress because I'll be hiking around.

00:41:25.060 And so I, I need to be able to take a shot after I've exerted myself to some degree.

00:41:29.560 So that that's what I do for, for self-care.

00:41:33.460 Cool. I think you covered it.

00:41:35.360 There you go. Anything different that you would say?

00:41:39.480 No, I mean, maybe a routine around journaling or meditation. Um, and then on the spiritual side,

00:41:47.880 maybe that's like a daily scripture reading or prayers, you know, that kind of stuff.

00:41:52.400 Sure.

00:41:52.700 But I, I think the key thing, and it really comes back to everything that you just said

00:41:58.160 is being intentional about it. Yeah. I'm assuming a lot of that wouldn't happen if you weren't being

00:42:03.940 intentional and making sure that you're actually getting those things in. So.

00:42:07.300 Well, it's funny because what a lot of guys will say is they'll say, Oh, I just,

00:42:10.020 I need to make the time to do that. No, you don't like, you don't get to just create time.

00:42:15.100 Yeah. And, and I realized kind of what they're saying, but at the same time, words,

00:42:18.540 words matter. So if you're like, I just need to make time. It's like, well, tell me where,

00:42:22.140 I don't know. I don't know. It's like, if I have some spare time, I'll, I'll do it. Well,

00:42:25.100 okay. You're not going to, you just need to manage it better. You don't need to make it.

00:42:28.700 You need to manage it. You and me and everybody listening to this has the same 24 hours.

00:42:33.560 And if you're talking about finding time and making time, it doesn't happen. Manage it,

00:42:39.900 manage it well. Like you said, be intentional, be deliberate about it, carve it out into your day

00:42:44.240 and work the routine around it. And I realize everybody's a little bit different, right? So your

00:42:47.960 schedule may facilitate you working out or reading in the morning, or maybe it's in the

00:42:52.060 afternoon. But it's funny because I see guys, what you and I do and what guys like Jocko,

00:42:58.520 like the four 45 club, for example. And they think like, that's the, that's the ultimate sign of,

00:43:04.540 of success is if you wake up at four 45, dude, maybe that doesn't work for you. And Jocko would

00:43:10.720 say that too. He didn't care if you get up at four 45 or, or seven o'clock's your workout. He's just

00:43:15.960 saying, get it done. Get it done. Find a way to work it for you, make it work into your schedule

00:43:20.140 and get the thing done. Totally. And everyone has the same schedule issue, right?

00:43:26.600 Well, so, so many people think that, well, Ryan, you know, he, he's running the podcast and,

00:43:33.940 and well, and Kip's job, their jobs allow them to have the flexibility to do these things.

00:43:39.600 Yeah. I don't care. I have, I really have, if anyone, I don't care who the individual is.

00:43:44.180 We all have the scheduling conflict. We are all busy. Like I can't count how many times I've seen

00:43:49.600 someone go, Oh man, I just, I don't have the time and it's a season or whatever. And then like

00:43:54.020 they change jobs and this new job, quote unquote, gives them way more time. Guess what? They're just

00:43:58.000 same thing. They're just as busy and life will happen to you and you will be busy. The question

00:44:04.340 is, is are you going to adjust things to make certain things be a more, a higher priority? That's it.

00:44:10.120 It's a priority thing. It's not a busy thing. I think the same thing holds true with, with money

00:44:14.980 because I'll hear a lot of guys who, you know, they'll say, Oh, if only, if only I had more money,

00:44:20.780 if only I had the, then I'd be able to pay my debt off and I'd be able to save. And then what

00:44:24.100 happens is they get a promotion and let's say, let's say they, they earn 10,000 more a year,

00:44:28.900 which I think is significant. So it's about 800 bucks a month or more. Well, what do they do? Well,

00:44:33.240 they go buy a four wheeler that they can't afford yet. And so now they got this payment and then they

00:44:38.060 buy a bunch of furniture they probably didn't really need. And they, they upgrade their vehicle.

00:44:41.880 And all of a sudden it's like, they're enslaved in more debt, even though they're making 10% or

00:44:47.100 $10,000 a year more because they're not intentional about, okay, what am I actually going to do with

00:44:52.800 this increased money? And the best way to overcome that, I'll tell you, the best way to overcome that

00:44:58.140 is to start doing it now. If you can't manage your resources effectively now, it doesn't matter how

00:45:05.820 much you get. None of that will help you improve it. And I'll give you the perfect example, lottery

00:45:12.440 winners. Some of these people who win a lottery, they don't know how to manage money at all. And

00:45:19.380 them getting a huge windfall of millions and millions of dollars, it's gone in a matter of

00:45:24.000 years. Why? Because they didn't earn it. And because they didn't earn it, they never learned how to be a

00:45:29.920 good steward over their resources. The, the way that you effectively produce more resources in your

00:45:36.160 life, more abundance, if you will, is to be a good steward over what you have now. So if you can manage

00:45:42.440 your time effectively, you will get more time. It will be given to you. If you can manage your money

00:45:48.080 effectively now, you will earn more money. You will have more financial abundance in your life. If you can

00:45:55.460 more effectively manage your relationships with your wife, your kids, colleagues, friends, co-workers,

00:46:00.040 if you can do that now, you will have more significant, meaningful relationships moving

00:46:05.680 forward. It's not a matter of some external gift that hasn't been given to you yet. It's a matter of

00:46:11.540 you managing what you have now so that you can prove to whatever you want to call it, karma, the universe,

00:46:18.300 universe, God, whatever, that you are worthy and capable of handling more.

00:46:23.880 Yeah. And I would even throw into that bucket happiness.

00:46:27.960 Sure. Absolutely.

00:46:29.000 People fall in that scene, but oh man, if, if these circumstances change, then I'd be happy or I'd be

00:46:33.480 less stressful. No, you got to earn it now. Just like you're saying, can you deal with what you have

00:46:39.260 right now? Can you be happy with what you have right now? Can you be stress-free with what you have

00:46:43.980 right now? And if you can do that, guess what? You'll get more. I love that. We need to coin

00:46:48.480 phrase that, that principle, whatever that principle is of earning because it's applicable

00:46:53.600 to money, success, happiness, stress, family relationships, everything, everything.

00:46:58.960 Yeah. And we, and we think it's some external circumstance that needs to change for those

00:47:03.660 things to change in our lives. Right. It's never the case. Yep. A hundred percent. Cool. All right.

00:47:08.920 Harris, uh, Yoni, what is a good way to deal with regrets? So many what ifs in my life?

00:47:17.020 You got to learn from a man, you know, like everybody, people ask that a lot. Like what,

00:47:22.320 what, what do you regret most? And I, and I don't answer that question the way I think they're looking

00:47:27.220 for like, oh, is this one thing I regret? Yeah. No. Look, are there things that if I could,

00:47:32.420 I would do over again? Sure. But that's, that's a wasted exercise because I can't change that

00:47:38.680 thing. Yeah. More effective. Go ahead. But would you like, would I change it? Yeah. Like

00:47:44.120 really, like there was some magical ball. Would you really change that decision or whatever?

00:47:48.820 Yeah. No, because I'm happy with where I am and I wouldn't be the same individual. It's kind of

00:47:53.140 like that butterfly effect. You know, if you, if, if, if for some reason or some way you were able to go

00:47:57.880 back in time and change just one little thing about your life, who's to say that you wouldn't be

00:48:04.520 married to the woman you're married? Who's to say that you wouldn't have your kids or that you

00:48:08.220 wouldn't have the business or you wouldn't even be alive, frankly. Like there's all, this is just a,

00:48:12.960 it's just a life as a natural result of cause and effect. Now there's some fortune and some things

00:48:19.200 that happen in there that are beyond your control. Sure. But it's what you do with that. And so if

00:48:24.620 you're regretting things, the way to overcome that regret from my perspective is to say, okay, well, 0.54

00:48:29.760 that sucked. You know, I failed in there. I failed in my relationship or I failed with my fitness or I

00:48:35.460 made a bad choice or whatever. What did I learn from it? And how am I better because of it? That's

00:48:45.240 a hard question to ask. How am I better because I went through that hardship and what am I going to

00:48:50.020 do moving forward? Now you're giving yourself a more productive way of looking at it versus,

00:48:57.020 oh, I'm an asshole and I'm a piece of garbage and I messed up and I'm a loser and woe is me and life 1.00

00:49:03.520 sucks. And like, if only I wouldn't have done that thing, that's backwards thinking. That stuns 1.00

00:49:08.880 growth. You, you gotta be forward thinking. Okay. I had this bad experience. I messed up. I made a

00:49:16.040 mistake. Here's what I learned. Here's how I actually am a better human being because I experienced

00:49:21.860 that lesson. And here's what I'm going to do to ensure that I don't do that thing again.

00:49:26.080 That's how you overcome regret. Not by sitting in it, but by you using it for fuel.

00:49:30.980 Yeah. And if you're a better man because of it, then you don't, you won't regret it. Right?

00:49:37.640 No, you'll, you'll look, I'm not going to say you're going to love it, but you'll, you'll

00:49:43.280 appreciate it to some degree because you realize, oh, that's part of the process. That's part of what

00:49:47.700 made me, me. Yeah. Like one example that I think of, and I didn't really have control over this,

00:49:53.420 but, and I've talked to with you guys at length about this is the fact that my, my father wasn't

00:49:58.160 around and that I had some other father figure coming into my life who weren't great examples

00:50:03.100 of what it meant to be a man. Now, granted some, that stuff was out of my hands, but I

00:50:07.840 wouldn't change that because I don't think without that, I don't think that I would be

00:50:13.620 as good a father as I am right now. I don't even think, frankly, I'd be able to lead this

00:50:18.440 movement because I didn't experience those things and have that perspective that gives me

00:50:22.680 the ability to share what I share now. So I'm not going to say that it was, it was amazing.

00:50:28.100 And I'm so, I'm so grateful. And those were amazing experience. No, but I am going to say,

00:50:32.300 you know what? I appreciate them for what they are hardship, but help me become a better human

00:50:36.520 being. Yeah. And, and for Harris, I think that, um, I think we're defined by the man we are today,

00:50:44.360 right? So if you don't like the, the way you were in the past and you have regrets and

00:50:50.180 what ifs about your past, then stop, stop right now. And, and it removed the excuses from your

00:50:57.980 life. Don't live, uh, with a bunch of what ifs and regrets anymore. Like use it as this opportune

00:51:04.960 time to say, you know what? I was this kind of person, but guess what? Not anymore. And transform

00:51:09.620 yourself and be the man that you want to be. I think that's possible for all of us. And it's tough.

00:51:16.020 I mean, I don't want to get in a rat hole, but it's super tough to change perceptions and people

00:51:19.600 will still continue to probably judge you for the person that you used to be and, and all those

00:51:24.200 kinds of things. But I really, I really do believe that we can reinvent ourselves at any time. Um,

00:51:30.260 it's just not easy at all. I think a lot of people also believe that if they miss an opportunity that

00:51:36.100 they miss their quote unquote shot. Yeah. Right. Like that, that, that relationship with that woman

00:51:42.080 didn't work out and she was the one, she was the love of my life or that job opportunity. You know, 1.00

00:51:47.220 I, I, I wasn't adequately prepared or I didn't have the designation or the degree for it. And so

00:51:52.280 like, I'll never get that chance again. I don't believe that. I don't buy into that. I don't,

00:51:56.560 frankly, I don't even buy into the one woman thing. You know, there's, there's plenty of women out 1.00

00:52:01.140 there. I love my wife. Okay. Let me just put that out there first. And I don't think about other

00:52:04.920 women, but I'm just saying that there's other women. I could have easily fell in love with, 1.00

00:52:09.200 with another woman and she could have easily fell in love with another man. It worked out for us

00:52:12.760 and we've worked at it. We've made it work because we're committed to each other. But that's not to

00:52:19.000 say that there aren't other opportunities. One, one little story I was thinking about as I was

00:52:23.120 thinking about this, it's a little different, but I think it illustrates the point is a couple of

00:52:26.960 years ago, maybe a year, probably about a year ago, we were going to buy a cabin here in Southern

00:52:32.600 Utah. And we had, I saved cash for it. I was just going to pay cash for the cabin. And we put the

00:52:39.420 offer in full, full, full offer. And we never heard from the seller ever again. We reached out

00:52:46.980 multiple times, tried to figure it out. The seller never got back with us. And we were so disappointed

00:52:51.600 because we thought, you know, this could be a really good opportunity for our family. This could

00:52:56.740 be somewhere that we could create a special place for us. We'd go up into the woods and get lost.

00:53:01.560 Like this could be a place where we could create memories generationally that we could eventually give

00:53:06.960 to our kids. We're just really, really excited about it. And we never heard back from the seller.

00:53:11.680 We were so disappointed. And, and I remember thinking, oh man, you know, we just, we kind of

00:53:16.400 missed that opportunity. And, and we did, you know, it was, it could have been a thousand things. I think

00:53:21.220 at that point, the seller just wasn't interested in selling it anymore. Maybe he had a change of heart,

00:53:24.360 whatever. Yeah. But as, as my wife and I, a couple of weeks ago went to Maine and started looking at

00:53:29.220 property, we kind of feel the same thing. This could be a chance for adventure, an opportunity for

00:53:35.860 us as a family to build tighter bonds, to connect deeper with each other, to experience some

00:53:43.780 hardships and some challenges together. But to create something special for our family. And I thought

00:53:50.240 about just last week, the cabin, and I don't know why I got brought up, but I thought, man, if we had that

00:53:55.780 cabin, we wouldn't have as much money in the bank account. We feel probably more obligated to stick

00:54:03.220 around, or we feel like we'd have to sell that place. And, and so it would have, the way I'm

00:54:08.740 looking at it now is that it would have created an anchor that I didn't want in my life. At the time,

00:54:15.400 we thought it was the best thing. And now I look at it and think, man, this would have been an anchor.

00:54:19.780 This may have kept us from pursuing another potentially viable and wonderful experience for

00:54:27.080 ourselves. And you know what, if Maine doesn't work out the way that we anticipate and hope that it will,

00:54:31.340 it'll be disappointing. But it doesn't mean that it's not presenting an opportunity or opening a

00:54:37.440 door somewhere else that I have failed to see or haven't yet seen.

00:54:41.220 Totally.

00:54:41.800 So.

00:54:42.460 Totally.

00:54:43.740 All right. Chad Shepard. I want to get known for hunting and outdoor adventures, plus promoting

00:54:49.020 having a full-time job with two kids and a wife of 18 years that has, has my back with my crazy ideas.

00:54:55.720 Do I just leave my Instagram, Facebook open to the public or do I promote myself on different

00:55:00.860 accounts? What's your suggestions?

00:55:03.940 Hmm. I'm having a hard time maybe understanding completely. So I want to clarify, maybe you can

00:55:10.080 help me walk through this. He wants to get into the hunting industry, but he's got another job.

00:55:14.760 It sounds like.

00:55:15.720 Yep. Another plus promoting having a full-time job. So he wants to promote to be known for hunting

00:55:21.400 outdoor adventures, but he has a full-time job, two kids, wife of 18 years.

00:55:25.920 Right. Okay.

00:55:26.600 They're supportive. What do I do?

00:55:29.340 Well, I don't think you have to close, close your Instagram account or, I mean, I think it

00:55:33.700 should be open. I guess I don't understand that part. What? I don't understand.

00:55:37.980 I think what he's saying is, is having Instagram and Facebook open to the public enough to promote?

00:55:46.220 No, no. It's not enough.

00:55:48.220 Or, oh, I see what he's saying. His personal Instagram and Facebook, does he just open that

00:55:54.540 up or does he use it in a different account to promote this?

00:55:57.900 Oh, I get it.

00:55:59.120 Okay. I get it.

00:55:59.960 That's what he's saying. Yeah.

00:56:00.820 I get it.

00:56:01.460 Sorry, guys. That took us a bit.

00:56:02.920 Yeah. My thought is that there shouldn't be any discrepancy between the way that you run

00:56:08.740 your business and the way that you run your life. So, and look, that's not the final answer.

00:56:14.960 There's plenty of organizations out there who believe it is. But for me, if you're trying

00:56:19.300 to run this, if you want to be, you said you want to be known for the hunting industry and

00:56:23.940 this other stuff, then there needs to be some strong congruency between what you're doing

00:56:29.380 personally and what you're doing professionally. So, there's pages, like we have an order of

00:56:36.180 man Facebook page. But my Instagram account is, I'm not active on the order of man one, but very

00:56:45.000 active on the Ryan Mickler account. But that's family, that's business, that's hunting, that's

00:56:51.740 my life. And that has actually been a pretty good strategy for us. I've got a personal Facebook page

00:56:58.620 that's completely open and I talk about order of man and everything else. On Twitter, I'm at

00:57:03.440 order of man right now, but I'm actually considering switching that over and doing most, if not all of

00:57:07.900 my activity on Twitter as Ryan Mickler, as opposed to at order of man. So, I think that resonates with

00:57:14.860 people more to know Ryan personally, as well as the order of man side. I do. And I think that's why

00:57:21.780 this particular podcast, the ask me anythings, I think this is part of the reason it does so well,

00:57:26.420 because it's not canned, it's not scripted, it's not structured really even. I mean, I know we're

00:57:31.360 answering questions, but they're getting a very real look, not authentic or genuine, but a real look

00:57:38.820 into you, Kip, and into me. And I think that if you're wanting to lead an organization or a movement

00:57:49.280 or an idea or a thought, that you need to be very, very relatable. I think the time where

00:57:55.240 there's a, you know, a gatekeeper there and the access to the information and you place yourself

00:58:01.260 on this pedestal, you don't really belong. I don't think that's there anymore. Or it's being

00:58:07.020 torn down brick by brick. Yeah. Culturally, it's shifted. It is because I don't relate. Look,

00:58:14.640 NFL athletes, let's take an NFL athlete, the best athlete in the world. And I don't care. That's

00:58:18.960 debatable who it would be, but you take the best athlete in the world and, and you, you filter his

00:58:24.920 images through, you know, his social media through all sorts of filters and all the parties he's going

00:58:30.640 to and all the women he's dating and all the money he has. And, and it's just looks like this glamorous

00:58:37.040 life. And normal people like you and me and the guys listening to this podcast, although we like

00:58:45.740 that are like, I'm not, I don't, that doesn't relate. I can't even fathom. Well, and not only

00:58:52.560 that, it's just not real. I mean, that individual has struggles too, but it's just not relatable.

00:58:57.420 And so, it's actually a turn off, right? Like I see that individual, I'm like, oh, I'm not inspired

00:59:02.280 by this person. Yeah. I'm inspired by the everyday guy who's got two kids and he's been married for 18

00:59:07.700 years and he wants to, to go pursue something different. The same thing that this guy is talking about

00:59:13.460 right now. That's who I'm inspired by. That's who I want to be like. So, the more relatable you can

00:59:17.800 be, the, I think the better off you're going to be, especially as you're running a side business

00:59:21.100 and, and you want to be known in the hunting world, it's got to be you.

00:59:27.300 Yeah. If you're the brand, yeah. If you're the brand, they have to know you as the brand, right?

00:59:32.240 I think this, I think the rock is a perfect example of that.

00:59:35.560 Totally. A hundred percent.

00:59:36.880 His headphones or his shoes or his clothing wear, any desire that I have to buy any of it, it's,

00:59:43.140 it's literally tied to the fact that I think he's a stud.

00:59:46.680 Yeah. Yeah.

00:59:48.300 It has nothing to do with the product.

00:59:49.840 Right.

00:59:50.500 Yeah.

00:59:51.600 Yeah.

00:59:52.500 All right. Uh, Joe Berto, how do you motivate coworkers slash employees to take on more responsibility

00:59:59.820 for themselves? I want them to succeed and try to work me out of a job. I eventually need

01:00:05.760 a replacement when I, uh, move up.

01:00:08.560 Your responsibility is to help them understand why they should, because what, look on the

01:00:15.460 surface level, if let's say Kip, you're my boss. Okay. And you're like, you are, that's

01:00:20.900 why I think this, this is going to just work out perfectly right here. So you come to me

01:00:25.940 and you say, Hey Ryan, I need you to do more. Okay. I need you to come in on Christmas Eve.

01:00:30.660 Uh, I need you to work a little faster. I need you to be a little bit more efficient. And at the

01:00:34.700 end of the day, you got to make more money for the company. Okay. So come on, let's go

01:00:38.120 get this done. I mean like, screw you buddy. Like what's in it for me? And some people say, 0.99

01:00:44.740 well, he shouldn't think that. Okay. Well shoulda, shoulda, coulda, woulda. Like that's

01:00:48.120 human nature. You got to create win-win situations. Now let's, let's reverse this a little bit.

01:00:53.580 Let's say you're my boss and you came to me and you said, Hey Ryan, you know, um, I know

01:00:58.480 that you, I know you have big ambitions. Uh, you've been with a company for five or six years

01:01:02.360 now. And, uh, I want you to know, I really value what you brought to the company. Um,

01:01:07.140 I, I, I recognize that at some point in the near future, I'm going to need to scale back

01:01:11.740 a little bit. I've got some big aspirations with my family. I'm going to go do some vacationing

01:01:16.080 and, and I would really like to, to grow this organization in a way that will allow me to

01:01:22.040 step back, but also allow some of the people that have been here to step up and to have some

01:01:27.300 opportunity, whether that's, uh, ownership interest or more say in the day-to-day operations,

01:01:32.420 but really help us grow what it is we're doing. And you are somebody that I've identified as

01:01:38.740 that potential individual because you've been with us for a long time. Uh, you, you're a hard

01:01:44.840 worker. You believe, obviously you believe in what we're doing. Does that sound like something

01:01:50.460 that you would be interested in discussing? And naturally I'm going to say, well, yeah, I,

01:01:55.080 I am interested in that. Okay. Well, if that's the case, then we need to have a conversation

01:01:59.700 about just some expectations from you and what you can do to prepare for that. And what I can do to

01:02:07.000 help you perfect prepare for that. How's that sound? Good. Now you start having this open dialogue

01:02:12.200 and it's framed in what's in, in it for me. Like what, why would I want to do that? Right? So I think

01:02:18.840 you've got to paint the picture or, or bridge the gap between productivity and efficiency and

01:02:24.720 effectiveness and doing more and why it is actually in their best interest, not just improving your

01:02:30.800 bottom line. Cause a lot of employees will think that it's like, Oh, well, of course he wants me to

01:02:35.160 work harder. He wants to make more money. Yeah, totally. What's funny about this is how do you

01:02:42.220 motivate coworkers, employees to take more responsibility? What does it mean to motivate?

01:02:47.860 And by the way, they could be highly motivated and doing the wrong tasks. And you would see as

01:02:53.440 them not being motivated. Oh, why aren't they motivated? Why aren't they taking care of this

01:02:57.740 stuff? That's really important. Well, do they know what that means? Like that's, what's interesting

01:03:01.280 about the term motivated, motivate my employees. Okay. So are you saying, how do I get my employees

01:03:07.140 to do tasks? A, B, C when they're not doing them? Okay. Well then that's a different conversation.

01:03:13.100 And you might see that as motivation, but in reality, maybe they don't see the purpose of the

01:03:18.520 task. You're asking them to do something and they say, yeah, this is not effective. This is not

01:03:23.100 valuable. I'm not even bought in to why we would even need to do that or why we're even doing it.

01:03:29.540 Yeah. A lot of this could just be clear communication of, Hey guys, we need to do these things. And this

01:03:34.640 is why, and, and, and get their buy-in of why those things are critical, not just to the company,

01:03:41.700 but to them individually as well. So motivation, I, I it's, that's a very

01:03:46.100 elusive word that could just mean, it could mean that they're just not doing the tasks that you

01:03:53.940 expect them to do. Right. That's what you're calling as unmotivated. Right. So. Yeah. I mean,

01:03:59.380 I've been guilty of this. I think we all have, I can even think of examples in the iron council where

01:04:03.720 we've made some changes within the iron council and I've just communicated that to the team leaders

01:04:08.160 and I've said, Hey, here's what we're going to do. So like, go tell your teams. Yeah. And then

01:04:12.420 there's pushback from the teams. I'm like, what the hell's the problem? Like, what, what are they so

01:04:15.940 upset about? Like I told them we're going to do this and it's going to be better. Yeah. Except for,

01:04:20.760 I never told them why it's going to be better or how it's going to enhance the experience. And I never

01:04:25.080 allowed them to see the direct result or at least the direction of the changes that we're

01:04:31.020 implementing. Yeah. And what's great back to me as a leader is like, there's a disconnect between

01:04:35.720 what I'm asking them to do and it doesn't make them dumb by the way. All right. I think there's 0.95

01:04:40.300 a natural tendency to believe that it's like, why wouldn't they see this? Why wouldn't they just

01:04:44.300 understand this? And look, I'm guilty of that more than anybody else. I'm like, what, what's wrong with

01:04:48.140 these people? Yeah. But it's nothing. It's just that you failed to communicate how this will serve

01:04:55.180 them in a, in a better way. Yeah. And what's great about this too, Ryan, is if you can't

01:05:01.660 communicate how it is going to serve them and the company in a better way, then maybe you shouldn't

01:05:06.420 be doing it either. Yeah. Maybe it doesn't, right? Yeah. We have a tendency to expect things and have

01:05:11.280 people do tasks that actually provide maybe no value. Maybe we shouldn't even be doing it. So

01:05:15.980 that's, that's the other thing to consider too. Yeah. Well, and I, and I think just as we're riffing on

01:05:21.120 this, I think it's also important to notice that you probably have some people in the organization

01:05:25.260 that would be a good idea to get some insight from. Yeah. And I know there's guys, and again,

01:05:30.280 I just come back to the iron council because we're talking about it. There's, there's you,

01:05:33.820 there's Bubba, there's other guys, Chris Gatchko, Joshua Laycock, the team leaders. There's so many

01:05:38.560 guys in the iron council who I actually go to for feedback. Could I come up with their decisions on my

01:05:43.960 own? Yeah. It's my organization. I can, I can do whatever I want, frankly, but that doesn't serve

01:05:50.660 us well. It serves us as an organization well to take your insight and Gatchko's and Bubba's and

01:05:58.360 Laycock's and all these other guys. It, it, it, it, it's valuable. And I don't ultimately, there's

01:06:04.600 things you guys have told me and I'm like, no, we're not doing that. Like banana, banana hammocks

01:06:10.820 from Bubba. So like, there's things where I'm like, no, we're not doing that, but I do value your

01:06:16.600 input. This one's a no. Next one might be a yes. Yeah, totally. That's funny. Sam Johnson,

01:06:24.940 what advice do you have for single men looking to become better men while single?

01:06:29.700 It's dude, it's don't, yeah, don't get into like, I'm single or I'm married. Like, what should I do?

01:06:34.160 We already know. Go buy sovereignty and, and read it, implement everything that we talk about.

01:06:41.020 Do the battle plan at the end. Go listen to last week's Friday field notes. That's a perfect answer

01:06:46.100 actually for this question. Go back and listen to last week's Friday field notes. I think it's called

01:06:51.560 creating and executing the perfect battle plan, something along those lines. Listen to it where,

01:06:57.260 where you're in. It's only 30 minutes long. Okay. Listen to it in a place where you can sit down with

01:07:04.480 a notepad or a program pulled up on your computer and make some notes and do that. But don't, don't

01:07:11.620 get into the like, Oh, I'm trying to be like a good catch and I'm single. Like what should a single

01:07:16.080 guy be doing versus a married guy? The same things, same things. Yeah. And don't stop doing that shit

01:07:21.400 once you get in a relationship. Yes. Right. Guys have intensity to get on the ball. Like, Oh yeah, 1.00

01:07:26.280 I'm going to get my act together. And all of a sudden Sally comes along and it's like, Oh,

01:07:29.780 I'm going to stop working out. And she's in mind a lot of time. And I don't establish any

01:07:33.360 boundaries and I let everything fall the wayside. And then guess who you are? Some moron. She doesn't 1.00

01:07:38.480 even want to be with anymore. Yep. That's exactly right. Don't change either. There's, I was going

01:07:42.520 to show you something on my phone here. And if you're, if you're listening, you won't see it.

01:07:46.280 But obviously if you're looking on YouTube, this is my, you can't really see it. This is my wallpaper.

01:07:52.360 Yeah. Yeah. It's my wallpaper. Come on now. It's my wallpaper on my phone, but I've gone through and

01:08:00.240 I've created my, or, or identified my objectives for the next 90 days, uh, in four key areas. And

01:08:08.120 then I've come up with my tactics. And on the bottom I wrote, don't cheat yourself. Cause I will.

01:08:13.900 I know that about me. So I got to be aware of that. Um, but these are the things I'm working on.

01:08:19.480 I create a battle plan and I do it every single day. It's relevant. It's significant to me.

01:08:23.480 Your battle plan, Kip, is going to be different than mine. It's okay. Neither one of us is right

01:08:27.640 or wrong. Um, but just make your battle plan, work it over and kick butt. Stay on the path. 0.99

01:08:35.320 That's right, man. A couple more questions. You think you have enough time?

01:08:38.840 What have we been going for like 45, 50 minutes or something?

01:08:42.420 Yeah. Oh yeah. We're totally fine.

01:08:44.360 I think we're okay on time.

01:08:45.520 Okay. Jesse Johnson, how do you get along with annoying in-laws?

01:08:48.760 Uh, minimize exposure. Yeah. Like, look, you're going to have some real pains in the

01:08:56.360 ass as, as relatives and not even in-laws, just even family members. I'm like, uh, just, 0.98

01:09:03.680 just minimize exposure. And sometimes it's just about keeping the peace. Like there's certain

01:09:08.300 family, like my sister, I love my sister to death. I'm not going to talk politics with my sister.

01:09:12.500 I'm just not. Cause I'm not interested and I don't need to, I don't need to win her over.

01:09:16.580 She doesn't need to win me over. And so I'm not going to have that conversation.

01:09:19.920 That doesn't mean we can't have plenty of other conversations. I mean, we just don't have that

01:09:23.320 one. So just know, just know your role. All right. It's just minimize exposure. Uh, just

01:09:31.460 have the conversations that need to be had and no more or no less. All right. And just deal with it.

01:09:38.740 Now, if they're impacting or that they're impacting your life, that's different. You know,

01:09:43.640 if they're causing animosity or risk between you and your relationship with your wife, that's

01:09:47.300 different. That, that calls for something a little bit more assertive, like boundaries.

01:09:52.400 You know, and there, I know plenty of people who have in-laws where the mother-in-law is trying to 1.00

01:09:56.840 like sabotage the, the, the man, right? Okay. Well, that's where you need to communicate with your

01:10:02.260 wife. You need to establish some clear boundaries. You need to communicate those boundaries with the 1.00

01:10:06.780 individual. And there needs to be the consequences of, of crossing those boundaries. And all of that

01:10:11.460 needs to be upheld by you and your wife, by the way. Okay. That, that's something a little bit

01:10:15.580 more assertive than, Hey, this person's annoying because they don't believe the same thing I do

01:10:20.160 about abortion or politics or the border wall or whatever it is that you're arguing about. That's

01:10:26.820 different. Yeah. Don't, don't just avoid your wife. If you find her annoying, that doesn't work. 1.00

01:10:31.460 Yeah. Well that's, yeah, you should put that out there. That's going to create a whole other set of

01:10:36.660 problems. That's funny. All right. Jason Bergersen, uh, no burger on burger in. What are your thoughts

01:10:44.740 on free masonry? It's kind of a fun question. I don't really, I, you know, I, okay. I'm fascinated

01:10:53.000 by it. Actually. I think there's a lot of rituals. I think there's a lot of good based on what I'm

01:10:57.460 limited. Okay. I'm talking to you guys. I don't know anything. I mean, I've watched a documentary on

01:11:01.360 Netflix or something. He doesn't have the ring on guys. I'm looking at it. I don't. Yeah. I just got my

01:11:05.620 wedding band on. Um, so I, I don't know much, but I'm fascinated with it. I think anytime men have

01:11:10.960 an organization that promotes good, which from my perspective, it seems to, uh, there's

01:11:16.220 accountability, there's camaraderie, there's brotherhood, uh, there's certain practices

01:11:20.560 and rituals that are, are, uh, are memorized and then recited and then implemented. I think that's

01:11:26.460 all really, really valuable because you're handing knowledge down to the next person. Um, uh, frankly,

01:11:33.240 like from my perspective, it seems a little weird. Like it seems a little strange. Some

01:11:37.120 of the, uh, ceremonies and rituals seem, well, they're, they're outdated just because it is

01:11:43.280 so old, but it just kind of seems sometimes a little silly. I'm sorry if that offends

01:11:48.820 somebody here. I'm sure, I'm sure it will. Cause there's Freemasons. Uh, but if it serves

01:11:53.200 you well, like I always think about this with professional sports, I was watching a basketball

01:11:57.420 game with a buddy the other night and I just thought, this is silly. Like these are grown

01:12:02.160 men and they have these little matching uniforms on and they're running up and down the court, 1.00

01:12:07.460 putting this stupid rubber ball in this little metal hoop. And they're seeing who can do it 0.99

01:12:12.100 more than the other team. And I'm like, this is like, if you strip everything else away from

01:12:16.940 it, it's silly. But at the same time, it's not. Think about on a deeper level, it's promoting

01:12:22.420 teamwork. It's promoting hard work. It's promoting strategy. It's promoting how to win, how to lose,

01:12:30.260 how to have goals and objectives, how to become a master. And so on the surface, you're like,

01:12:35.340 this is silly, but deeper than that. You're like, no, this is meaningful. This is significant.

01:12:41.980 It's really, really important. And I kind of feel that way. When I see things like Freemasonry,

01:12:46.480 I look at their rituals and some of the things they wear. I'm like, that's kind of silly. It's weird. 0.97

01:12:50.540 But on a deeper level, it's actually really, really powerful from my perspective. That's what I see.

01:12:57.880 Yeah. That's interesting. I've known a handful of Freemasons in my past. In college, I got into an

01:13:05.460 entire obsession with Freemasonry. Really?

01:13:08.860 Yeah. Like I, it really was kind of- Did you ever become a Freemason?

01:13:12.420 No. I was asked, supposedly you can be invited, right? And you have to fill out like an application

01:13:18.120 and stuff, but I never acted on it. Mostly from the perspective is, I felt that I had the fullness

01:13:27.340 of what I needed through my religion. And I felt like that was suffice, right? That this would just

01:13:33.600 be, I don't know if it was, I didn't feel like it was 100% necessary for me, right? To become a better

01:13:41.100 man. But, but regardless, I, I totally get it. And, and, and I, I get the interest, especially when you

01:13:47.080 start looking at like American history and you realize our founding fathers, the majority of them

01:13:53.020 were Freemasons. You know, George Washington was, I think Abraham Lincoln was, you know? And so I, I just,

01:13:59.840 it, it kind of draws you in even more so when, when you look at American history and, and how many

01:14:04.640 leaders our, our country had that were, were Masons. So. I think it's valuable. I mean, I even look at 1.00

01:14:10.880 things that we're doing here, not as Freemasonry necessarily, but very similar in a lot of aspects

01:14:16.500 because there is brotherhood, there's accountability, there's camaraderie, there's expectations. It's not

01:14:22.360 open for just everybody. So there's a lot of parallels. And so when we started the Iron Council,

01:14:26.400 I had these types of thoughts in mind, you know, maybe not so much rituals and things like that,

01:14:31.620 but certainly some parallels to what we're doing here. And anytime you can band men together around

01:14:38.020 a common good, I think it's a good thing overall. I really do. For sure. Yeah. And all the men that

01:14:43.660 I've ever known that were Masons were, were amazing men. They were great men. So. I think, I think

01:14:49.400 Boy Scouts for a lot of years and, and even still, even though they've, they've lost their way, I know

01:14:54.040 they're considering bankruptcy and some of these other things that, that are not good for the organization,

01:14:58.960 but for a long time, the Eagle Scout brotherhood was, was very, very valuable as well. Right.

01:15:05.240 Because you knew, okay, you may not know everything about this individual, but you know, this is an

01:15:10.120 individual who works hard, who has discipline, who's committed to something, who has typically

01:15:14.880 and generally the same values that I do. And so there's a lot you can tell about an individual

01:15:18.860 who's an Eagle Scout just by the fact that they're an Eagle Scout. Should you rely on that solely? No,

01:15:24.680 of course not. Cause you don't want to blindly just accept that this is a good and decent human

01:15:28.780 being, but it is pretty telling, I think. And I think Freemasonry is probably very similar in that

01:15:33.020 aspect. Yeah. Cool. Ryan Rodriguez, do you write a script, keep bullet points, or just speak off the

01:15:40.960 cuff when you record your podcast episodes? I'm assuming he's talking about the Friday field notes.

01:15:46.840 Maybe just a, a breakdown of each maybe. Yeah. So with, with the conversations that I have,

01:15:53.680 I, I know who that individual is. So I've read their books. I've, I've watched their videos.

01:15:58.200 I've studied their work. So I know, I know about them to the degree that I know, need to know.

01:16:03.120 And I have some points that I want to talk about, but I don't have a piece of paper or notes or

01:16:11.640 anything like that. I just. So you do your research and then. That's it. You start your recording

01:16:17.540 episode and you just go. And we just go. Yeah. And I found that the more conversational it's been,

01:16:22.280 the better off it's been too. Yeah. Um, I think people appreciate it and respect it more. Um,

01:16:27.340 I think they enjoy it more. And I think the people that I'm conversing with enjoy the conversation

01:16:31.800 more as opposed to me just listing out 10 questions and asking every single guest, the same 10 questions.

01:16:36.660 Yeah. I actually think that's, that's, well, I just think it's disrespectful.

01:16:42.320 Yeah. I think, I think if I have a guest on and I come and I'm, and I ask them the same 10

01:16:46.860 questions I've asked 300 other guests, I think, well, how disrespectful am I being to this human

01:16:51.940 being? You wasted my time. You didn't even get to know me enough to ask me legit questions.

01:16:56.480 Right. And then not only is it disrespectful to that person, it's disrespectful to the people

01:17:00.640 who are listening. Yeah. Like the people who are listening to my podcast deserve a higher level of

01:17:06.060 podcasting. They deserve a higher level of conversation. And that's why when I have guys

01:17:11.180 were like, man, I've listened to all 300 of your shows and the first one sucked. I'm like, yeah,

01:17:16.280 they did suck and I've got better and I will continue to get better. You, you have, you have 0.96

01:17:21.000 my commitment that the next decade of podcasting or whatever it ends up being is going to be better

01:17:27.600 than the first. Well, and that's why you guys have to start with episode one and then work towards

01:17:32.000 the newer stuff. I did that. I would start at, let's see, we've done, I want to say we're at like

01:17:40.320 almost 200 interviews, conversations. I just started at like 150.

01:17:46.140 150 is when it started getting good? I don't know. I'm just throwing that number out there.

01:17:49.860 That's funny. That's funny. So, Friday Field Notes.

01:17:52.700 Yeah. Friday Field Notes. I used to, I actually used to script them. So, the first probably maybe

01:17:58.080 two dozen or maybe even longer Friday Field Notes were entirely scripted.

01:18:02.820 You would write the whole thing out. The whole thing.

01:18:04.720 And you're just almost just reading.

01:18:06.360 Read it. Not even almost. I was reading it.

01:18:08.240 Okay. And then, and then I stopped doing that because it was taking too long.

01:18:16.320 And I've, for these two reasons, number one is taking too long. I just didn't want to like write

01:18:21.500 it and then read it. And then number two, I thought I was doing a disservice to everybody. I'm like,

01:18:25.320 if I'm just going to write it, I can just put it out there. I don't need to read it. People can read

01:18:28.400 on their own. Yeah. And it gave me no leeway or flexibility in the conversation. So, I got away

01:18:34.680 from that and I went to bullet points. Okay. So, if I'm, if I'm talking about, well, last week I

01:18:41.400 talked about the battle plan, for example. It was just bullet points. Okay. You need to talk about

01:18:47.060 this, then this, here's step one, here's step two, here's step three, here's step four. And then I just

01:18:51.200 go. I just riff on that for however long I need to, to cover the point. And I just think it's

01:18:56.440 better. This is better. Do you think that you needed to script first to get the skillset necessary

01:19:03.540 to not script? Or you could have, you could have just went with the bullets on Friday field notes

01:19:07.400 off the bat and it would have been better? I could have went, no, I don't think it would

01:19:11.740 have been better. Okay. I could have went with the bullet points right off the bat. And I don't

01:19:17.440 think it would have been better than rereading, but it would have been more valuable because I

01:19:22.000 would have learned a whole lot quicker. It wouldn't have, it wouldn't have gone well. Like

01:19:27.040 it wouldn't have sounded good. It wouldn't have been, I had a friend come over the other day and

01:19:31.140 he was talking about this. He's like, man, you've just gotten, you've gotten so much better at this.

01:19:35.460 And he's like, he's like, I don't have the same skillset you do. I'm like, of course you do.

01:19:40.360 I've just done 300 and whatever, 320 conversations now.

01:19:45.600 Yeah. He's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, but you're better at it. Yeah, I am better at it

01:19:50.140 because I've done thousands and thousands of hours worth of speaking and videos and podcasts and

01:19:58.420 conversations. And I'm listening to people and I'm researching other podcasters that I admire.

01:20:04.140 So yes, thank you for acknowledging. And you are right. I am better at it just because I've done it.

01:20:10.800 It's just amazing to me. And I'm not speaking ill of this individual because him and I are good

01:20:14.640 friends. It's just amazing in general how often we dismiss time in the activity. Yeah. And like

01:20:24.040 we do it in every aspect, you know, we do it from a guy who's like, oh, that guy, man, he's so good

01:20:29.120 at jujitsu. Well, yeah, he's been doing it for 10 years. Oh man, he's such a great podcaster. How is

01:20:35.660 he so conversational? How does he ask just the right questions? Cause he's failed 500 times.

01:20:41.860 Yeah. Right. How, how does, how does that guy, how is he? Oh, he's just, he's just musically

01:20:48.640 gifted. He's so good on the guitar. It's like, man, that, that dude has been working for free

01:20:54.580 and he's like little shitty hole in the wall bars for longer than you've been alive. 0.82

01:21:00.760 You know, I had, when I had John Dudley on the show, a lot of people were like, oh, who's, 0.97

01:21:04.960 he was talking about this. He says a lot of people are like, who's this John Dudley guy. He's like

01:21:08.900 this old guy and all he does is talk about, he doesn't even shoot archery. He's like, dude,

01:21:12.760 I've been, I've traveled millions and millions of miles across the planet before you were even

01:21:19.580 done nursing. So I'm sure he didn't say exactly that way, but he actually said it better. I think

01:21:25.840 than me, he did. I can't remember what he said. He might've said like before your balls even dropped

01:21:30.500 or something, he said something. I can't remember what he said, but it was good. Obviously. Cause I kind 0.98

01:21:35.320 of remember him talking about it. Uh, and, and I thought, yeah, yeah, that's right. You have been

01:21:41.460 doing it. You have earned this. It's not, nothing was given to you. And he talked even about being

01:21:47.540 a natural archer. And I said, well, what makes a natural archer? He's like, he kind of had a little

01:21:52.060 struggle answering that because it's like, I don't know, maybe they have better eyesight.

01:21:56.520 Like that's it. Like, yeah. Okay. And then the rest of it has to be developed. He's like, yeah,

01:22:03.580 yeah. The rest of it has to be developed. That's interesting. On a related note, Ryan,

01:22:08.960 how, how much prep kind of goes into your interview? So like if you look at Goggins, for instance,

01:22:15.260 uh, how much reading and research and everything are you kind of putting into before that call?

01:22:20.820 There's, there's different schools of thought on this and some guys over prepare like maximum

01:22:28.860 preparation. I got a couple of guys I think of is like Tom Bilyeu, max prep. You can tell. Yeah.

01:22:35.320 You can tell. Yeah. From the minute he starts talking, you can tell this guy knows everything

01:22:40.580 about this individual. Yeah. Like he almost to the extent of like, maybe he pulled some strings and got

01:22:45.480 some confidential data from instances. You kind of feel like that is the case. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

01:22:53.100 another one is, uh, Jordan Harbinger, Jordan Harbinger show. He, I know, cause him and I are

01:22:59.800 friends. I know how much he pours into his preparation. I sit more on the other side. I don't,

01:23:07.820 I actually deliberately do not over prepare because I don't want it to come across as canned. Yeah.

01:23:14.140 So my preparation consists of watching their videos, reading their website, reading articles.

01:23:20.880 I follow them on social media. Um, I subscribe to their newsletters. I read their books. I go

01:23:26.340 through their courses. I get intimately familiar with that individual, uh, so that I am knowledgeable

01:23:34.060 with it, but I don't go overboard and take pages and pages of notes. Like I'm not studying for like

01:23:40.400 a midterm or something like that. I'm purely just getting to know this individual so that when I have

01:23:46.100 a conversation, I can talk intelligently and speak intelligently about their life and their past and

01:23:52.580 some of the things they've done. Cool. Yeah. Cool. I think the only episode we didn't cover is,

01:23:57.460 is this one. And this one's completely scripted. In fact, what I just said is completely scripted.

01:24:03.540 That's right. Everything down to the word. We know what we're going to say. Yeah.

01:24:07.360 Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing. The, um, the, all the annoying things I say and yeah,

01:24:13.020 like the bang on the microphone and everything else just to make it feel authentic, sipping water.

01:24:18.900 Yeah. It's, it's all part of product placement. You're placing some good product today, man.

01:24:26.360 He's got his order a man hat on. He's got his battle team shirt on. He's got his order a man

01:24:31.320 water bottle. He's got his iron council jacket. Dude. I'm pimped out. Pimped out. Well, it's

01:24:37.640 no client meeting day. And like, I think at our company is like, I don't know, 5% of people are

01:24:43.520 here. So I think you'd actually be more effective, more productive and sell more if you wore what

01:24:49.480 you're wearing now to client meetings. All right. I'm going to try it. We'll see what happens.

01:24:53.440 Good luck. All right. Next question. Drew Newman. What is your take on the Me Too movement?

01:25:03.840 Me Too, Ryan. Me Too. Sensitive subject. I don't even know what Me Too movement is.

01:25:09.900 You don't know? Me Too is the movement, uh, by women who have been, uh, sexually abused by men.

01:25:18.420 Oh, and, and so once, once I hear something about Donald Trump, all of a sudden I come out of the

01:25:24.580 woodworks and go, Oh, me too. No, no, no, no. The Me Too movement was created by women. 1.00

01:25:29.260 Okay. To basically said, as, as a rallying cry, like me too, like I have been abused too. So we're

01:25:34.700 in this together. Okay. Okay. So I think the premise of it, I think is, is good. Yeah. Like I think,

01:25:42.500 I think that, that people who band together who have been, uh, unjustly served or dealt a hand or

01:25:47.660 whatever it may be by other individuals ought to rally together and fight against that thing.

01:25:51.500 I think that's great. I just think that things like this have a tendency to get hijacked by the

01:25:57.020 social justice warriors. Yeah. And I think that's what's happening is that it's, it's not necessarily

01:26:03.620 so much more about Me Too and sexual abuse. It's about, I think extreme feminists have, have taken 1.00

01:26:10.600 over the movement and will continue to take over movements like this and say that it's not just about

01:26:15.520 sexual harassment or sexual abuse. It's now about everything else and how women are, are treated

01:26:23.300 horrible and there's no rights for women and everything else that just, that clearly aren't 1.00

01:26:27.940 the case. So it's been, it's the Me Too movement. Although I believe the premise is good. I also think

01:26:35.580 it's been weaponized. It's been, it's been made extreme and it's been weaponized by third wave feminists 1.00

01:26:42.360 who are, well, they're misguided at best. They're completely ignorant to actually what's going on 0.98

01:26:47.580 and they actually are doing, I think they're doing women a greater injustice than they are doing any 0.97

01:26:53.320 good, frankly. Yeah. So the premise is good. I think that sure, there's plenty of women who have been

01:27:01.420 abused and, and sexually, sexually abused by men and it's been dismissed. It's been covered up

01:27:08.220 in a lot of cases. It's, they've been mocked. And I think anytime you empower an individual to bring

01:27:14.460 up their story that is legitimate and credible, I got to make sure I throw that in there because

01:27:18.360 there's a lot that aren't. I think that's a good thing. I just think that it's, these things have a

01:27:25.200 tendency of being hijacked by organizations who aren't actually real concerned about the initial

01:27:31.440 premise of a movement like this. Yeah. There you go, Drew. All right. James Tatter. How do you, or how do

01:27:40.940 you, or have you created family traditions? Do you use holidays or birthdays? Do you have some of your

01:27:46.280 boys and others for your daughters? Does it include just you, you and your wife and et cetera? I have some

01:27:51.660 with my family and I want to pass my boy, pass to my boys, but I'd also like to create my own. I feel like we

01:27:58.160 try and fuss out or fuzz out because they aren't that important. And traditions are huge. They're

01:28:05.620 huge. Steven Mansfield talks about bestowing manliness, that it has to be bestowed upon the

01:28:12.500 next generation. And we can talk about daughters here in a second too, but that you, you, that you

01:28:17.200 have to give that to him. He has to, he has to earn that right. And I think a lot of these traditions,

01:28:23.520 the fact that they've gone away and that could be through sports, it could be through scouting,

01:28:26.960 it could be through families. I mean, all of these are actually going away, right? There,

01:28:30.360 there's all a dismissal of these, these, uh, these organizations that generally foster something

01:28:38.600 positive and effective and rally people around a common objective and a common good. Those things

01:28:43.620 are going away. And, and so less and less of our youngsters are learning and being passed on this

01:28:49.760 tradition. And instead what's being replaced is explore yourself, explore life, explore yourself,

01:28:56.140 explore your sexuality, explore who you are, explore your gender, explore this, explore that

01:29:00.320 uninhibited by any sort of limitations and restrictions. And it sounds really nice, except

01:29:06.480 for kids are ignorant. Yeah. Children just don't have enough knowledge about life. And so what, 0.99

01:29:12.540 why, why would we, why would we mock the institutions that teach our children how to operate most effectively

01:29:18.960 within a certain set of parameters? Why would we try to tear that apart? It's not smart and it's not

01:29:25.820 good. And, and what we haven't seen yet, but we will, is we will see a generation, millions and millions

01:29:33.340 and millions of people who are confused, who are misguided. And because they were left to their own

01:29:38.640 devices for so many years, they are not nearly as effective or productive as they could once be

01:29:43.720 had they had some structure, guidance, discipline, direction, focus, accountability, and clarity in

01:29:47.960 their life. So it's critical that we create these traditions. It's critical that we take what we know

01:29:56.400 and we pass that down to our children. It's critical that we help our children see that there's boundaries

01:30:02.440 that we operate within, that there's certain things that are okay. And we can snug right up to that line,

01:30:07.860 but we don't cross that line because there's danger in crossing that line. It doesn't work.

01:30:15.500 Generations after generation, after generation, after generation has experienced things that don't

01:30:19.860 work. And what they're trying to do is pass that knowledge down to our children so they can have a

01:30:23.740 better life. Isn't that what we all want? And yet I think there's so many parents out there who just,

01:30:30.220 who, who want, they don't want to be burdened with the responsibility of raising children.

01:30:36.080 They want to say they have kids, but heaven forbid, they accept any level of responsibility for guiding

01:30:42.680 that individual. Yeah. Or we've been raised in a way that, that things weren't clearly defined for

01:30:48.600 us. And so we think that's just, that's how you do it, right? Maybe. I mean, maybe, but I don't,

01:30:54.480 yeah, I guess that's a possibility. Well, I'm, I'm thinking for instance, you know, he's talking about

01:31:00.120 like rituals or traditions, right? With your son. One of the things that came to my mind is,

01:31:04.980 does your son know what is, what it means to be a man? Like, and we've talked about this in previous

01:31:14.340 episodes, like how it's silly. Like sometimes I think that's silly, right? That seems like a kind

01:31:20.540 of a silly thing. Like, well, define what it means to be a man. Of course that that's kind of a given,

01:31:25.300 but is it? No, I don't know if I even had it clear in my own mind. So how can I possibly tell my

01:31:32.080 son of what the, what the goal is? What is the objective for him? If I haven't clearly said, hey,

01:31:39.180 this is what a man looks like. This is what you need to fulfill. And this is who you need to become.

01:31:44.180 If I don't do that, I don't know. He will know what to do. Right. He won't. He knows he won't.

01:31:50.040 Right. And so these traditions, I think for, at least for me, sometimes I think, oh man, they're not

01:31:54.540 that, they're not that critical, but I think they are. I think they're really critical. I think these

01:32:00.040 are the opportune times where we establish a baseline and a tradition of we're progressing,

01:32:05.920 you know, and we're reaching goals and they're progressing is, and we tie these traditions to

01:32:10.720 their progression. Yeah. I think one of, you're absolutely right. I think one of the, one of the

01:32:15.560 best things that we can do for our children is on a daily basis when we experience parts of life

01:32:20.800 that we explain those things, right? There's all kinds of little interactions that we have with

01:32:25.120 people. Maybe it's a business interaction, or maybe you're at the store and you hold the door

01:32:30.040 open for somebody, or somebody doesn't hold the door open for you or whatever, all kinds of little

01:32:36.140 seemingly insignificant interactions. I think it's our job as fathers to explain those interactions.

01:32:43.200 So if I hold the door open for somebody, whether it's a man or woman, I hold the door open for both. 0.98

01:32:48.200 It doesn't bother me. Like that's, I'm just being nice. Just being courteous is then I will explain

01:32:53.260 that to my son or my, or any of my daughter. I'll explain that. Hey, I held that door open because

01:32:58.320 it's just a nice thing to do. And it's just a respectful way to live. And you feel good because

01:33:02.440 you're serving somebody else. And he's like, Oh, cool. And then when somebody slams the door in my

01:33:07.300 face and doesn't hold it for, for me, then I say, Hey son, like, did you see that that individual

01:33:12.840 didn't hold the door? Yeah. And that was disrespectful. That person isn't aware of their surroundings.

01:33:19.180 They're oblivious to what's going on, or they don't care about other individuals, or maybe

01:33:23.160 they just had a bad day or a bad moment, or they just didn't see you. But regardless,

01:33:28.000 there's a lesson that can be extracted here. I remember one time I went into this, this business

01:33:33.280 and I won't say the business's name because I wanted to get my bow serviced. So I went in

01:33:40.580 and the guy was a total jerk. And I think you've talked about this guy. You didn't mention names. 1.00

01:33:47.220 I don't, I don't want to mention his name. Cause I'm not, that's not the point of the story

01:33:49.880 to throw this guy under the bus, but he was a total jerk. And he's at the end of the day, 1.00

01:33:55.500 like he wouldn't, he wouldn't help me with my bow. I was weird. It was really weird actually.

01:34:01.480 And my son was with me and we got out of the store and I said, well, what do you think? And

01:34:06.260 he's like, dad, that was, that guy's mean. And I said, yeah, I agree. What do you think's

01:34:12.780 up with that? And we kind of walked through that experience. I was really glad that we had that

01:34:16.680 negative experience. Cause I could share it with him. The other day I was out shooting arrows

01:34:20.120 and I like to end on a good set. And so I told him, okay, I'll be done after this set.

01:34:26.180 And it wasn't a good set. And so I got back up and I walked back into the line. He's like,

01:34:30.600 what are you doing? I thought you said you're going to be done. And I said, I could be done.

01:34:34.540 I could have not even come out here at all, but that wasn't good. And I'm not going to end on a

01:34:40.360 negative note. I'm going to end on a positive note. It's always, always important that whenever we do

01:34:44.500 something that we do it the right way, whether it's out here, son, shooting arrows or having

01:34:49.780 a conversation with somebody or whatever it may be. I know I've had plenty and plenty of

01:34:55.080 conversations with my kids about picking up trash off the ground. And I don't just pick it up and

01:35:00.380 throw it away. I could do that. And that's good. There's nothing wrong with that. But I pick it up

01:35:03.980 and I say, guys, if you ever see any trash on the ground, it's just good to be proud of where you are.

01:35:09.320 And it's good to just clean up after yourself. And if you see something around,

01:35:12.940 it's also our responsibility to take care of the area in which we live. This is why A,

01:35:17.500 we pick up after the things that we see around and B, that we don't contribute to the mess.

01:35:23.200 So we put our things away and we throw things in the trash and we clean things the way they need

01:35:27.540 to be cleaned. You connect all these little dots. This is how we teach children how to be

01:35:31.800 decent members of the society. It's painfully obvious that a lot of these people are not getting

01:35:39.060 these lessons. Yeah. Cool. One more. Are we okay on time? I don't even know how long we've been going.

01:35:46.860 Me either. You're the time tracker.

01:35:49.440 Oh, good to know now.

01:35:51.560 Set that expectation. I don't know why you're not motivated.

01:35:55.220 Yeah, I'm not motivated to track the time. Such a bad employee.

01:35:59.820 Kyle Shields. Have you built anything that you specifically are proud of? By build,

01:36:06.620 I mean constructed something with your own hands. Thanks, gents.

01:36:11.500 I've built humans. That's pretty cool. I guess part of that process. No, I was...

01:36:18.620 That's true. I'm really special.

01:36:22.140 Let's see. Oh, you know what? Now I'm all distracted. One thing I am really proud of

01:36:30.580 actually is I've got a bunk bed in my boy's room and it's really cool. It's a three-story bunk bed

01:36:40.200 is what it is. So it's got one facing and then it's got one at a 90-degree angle. The mid one is

01:36:44.940 at a 90-degree angle and the other one is another 90-degree angle and it's all made out of wood and

01:36:49.820 then it's got... And it goes in the corner? It goes in the corner. I see.

01:36:53.940 Yeah. And right now, so I've got two of my boys in the room and our little guy, he's in a different

01:36:58.840 room because he's still in his crib. So his bed is actually our Lego bin and it's the whole, it's

01:37:05.720 twin bed frame size and it's got just, it's completely filled with Legos. It's amazing.

01:37:12.700 Yeah. So we just go, anyway, so that's one thing I'm pretty proud of. I do a lot of little odds

01:37:18.140 and ends around the house. You know, like I've built some grow boxes for my wife and

01:37:22.280 built a little sprinkler system for a garden. There's all kinds of little things that we do.

01:37:29.140 Shelves around the house, but I like the bunk beds for sure.

01:37:32.280 That's cool. I don't have anything.

01:37:34.600 You need to get on it, man.

01:37:35.780 I know. I need to make...

01:37:36.800 You built humans though too, so you're good.

01:37:38.800 I didn't use... Not with my hand.

01:37:40.380 I mean, my hands were involved at some point.

01:37:46.440 Yeah, that's right. But not solely your hands.

01:37:50.500 Oh, man.

01:37:52.040 That's a good one to end on there, I guess, huh?

01:37:55.020 Yeah, that's a really great one to end on.

01:37:58.400 Cool.

01:37:59.640 I need to get after it though.

01:38:01.240 You do, man. You need to get after it. It's good. It's good to work with your hands.

01:38:04.900 It's good to build something. It's good to learn and to tinker.

01:38:08.120 I've thought about blacksmithing actually I think would be a lot of fun.

01:38:12.180 So, I'm going to be looking into that early in the year.

01:38:14.460 I'm pretty deliberate and intentional with my time.

01:38:16.460 So, I don't want to just be flippant like, oh, I think I'll try it.

01:38:19.040 Because I have noticed one area that I'm actually pretty good at I think

01:38:22.720 is that when I fully commit to something, I commit.

01:38:26.420 I go all in.

01:38:27.920 I don't tinker. I don't tiptoe.

01:38:29.900 It's like, okay, I'm ready to do this.

01:38:31.840 You know, with the podcast, it wasn't like, oh, I'll try it.

01:38:33.900 No, I'm not trying it to see how it works.

01:38:36.160 I'm doing it.

01:38:38.080 And so, if I, you know, with blacksmithing, I don't want to say like, oh, I'm going to do it

01:38:40.860 because I know I'll commit myself to it.

01:38:42.480 But when I am ready, then I'm going to be fully committed to that thing.

01:38:47.680 Yeah.

01:38:47.840 I think the thing that I struggle with and because it's ironic that we're talking about this

01:38:53.880 because I was just thinking about this the other day is I want to be coached, right?

01:39:00.740 Like, I hate doing things half-assed.

01:39:03.020 It drives me mad.

01:39:04.480 It, like, I lose my cool and I immediately get frustrated.

01:39:10.360 If, let's say, I was going to build a bed, for instance, and I didn't do it correctly,

01:39:15.300 it would really bother me.

01:39:16.440 So, what I do, what I'll end up doing is if I don't know how to do it, I almost avoid

01:39:21.760 it because I want to make sure if I do it, I do it correctly.

01:39:25.700 And I really think the proper approach or at least one thought has crossed my mind is

01:39:29.240 that I should hire a coach or a class or whatever it is that I'm working on so I know how to

01:39:34.820 do it correctly.

01:39:35.360 Does that make sense?

01:39:37.240 I agree.

01:39:37.900 Yes.

01:39:38.320 Yes.

01:39:38.760 It makes total sense.

01:39:39.780 And I agree to a degree.

01:39:42.820 Okay.

01:39:43.640 Because I think what you're saying is 100% accurate, but I also believe, and my personality

01:39:50.880 is more of that of tinkering.

01:39:52.700 Yeah.

01:39:53.460 Like, I want to figure it out.

01:39:55.740 Like, I want to build it.

01:39:56.620 I want to figure it out.

01:39:57.500 I want to tinker with it.

01:39:58.440 And if it, and then look, I'm disappointed if it doesn't turn out well, I'll actually scrap

01:40:02.300 an entire project.

01:40:03.660 Yeah.

01:40:04.020 If it doesn't, cause it, one little thing is off or whatever.

01:40:07.260 Yeah.

01:40:07.860 Cause that's my personality, but I do.

01:40:09.760 So I, I, yes, there's so much value in coaching.

01:40:12.820 I just tend to lean more towards like, no, I got it.

01:40:15.500 Figure it out.

01:40:16.180 I want to figure it out.

01:40:17.200 Yeah.

01:40:17.540 Cause I enjoy the process too.

01:40:19.320 Yeah.

01:40:19.500 Maybe it also depends on the project, right?

01:40:21.480 Like I have this, I have this beautiful motorcycle that I, I love this motorcycle and I've been

01:40:28.760 wanting to replace the sub chassis seat.

01:40:31.280 I don't dare because I love that bike so much that I don't want to jacket, right?

01:40:38.380 And mess it up.

01:40:39.460 Right.

01:40:39.720 So part of me is like, Oh, I need a higher, but here's the irony.

01:40:42.740 I would rather, I would rather take the bike into the shop and say, I will pay you more

01:40:51.220 money if you let me do it with you and we do it together than to just have them do it

01:40:58.480 and then to get the bike back.

01:41:00.560 Because I, I would see huge value in that learning process and I'd want to participate and understand

01:41:05.260 and learn, but I wouldn't dare do it on my own and then end up, you know, messing up

01:41:10.720 my bike.

01:41:11.020 Sure.

01:41:11.480 And I think it also depends on the value, right?

01:41:13.680 Like you, you value the bike, you value the experience.

01:41:16.520 It's more than a machine to you.

01:41:18.640 Sounds like.

01:41:19.520 Yeah.

01:41:20.080 So, so there's more value.

01:41:23.000 Me and cars, people are asking me like, what's your favorite car?

01:41:25.380 I'm like, dude, I don't care.

01:41:26.320 I, you love that scout though.

01:41:28.480 I do.

01:41:29.000 But like at the same time, like I'm not a big, I'm not a big car guy.

01:41:33.400 Is somebody else joining us?

01:41:35.180 Totally.

01:41:36.260 Should we wait for them to hop on?

01:41:38.780 No, I'm going to kick Greg off of here.

01:41:41.100 Greg's like, Hey guys are talking over here.

01:41:44.000 Joining the podcast.

01:41:45.620 Yeah.

01:41:47.500 Let's, uh, let's remove Greg for a minute.

01:41:50.020 What Greg is that?

01:41:50.960 There.

01:41:51.300 I don't know.

01:41:51.760 We can put out a call in a minute.

01:41:54.420 Um, anyways.

01:41:55.300 Yeah.

01:41:55.520 So like, I don't, so I'm going to have a mechanic do my stuff.

01:42:00.080 Yeah.

01:42:00.400 Cause it just doesn't, I don't, it's not a thing.

01:42:03.080 Yeah.

01:42:03.340 Right.

01:42:04.800 Versus my bow.

01:42:05.620 Like I could have somebody else do it, but I'm like, no, I want to learn it.

01:42:08.520 I want to learn it.

01:42:09.100 I want to do it.

01:42:09.720 It's valuable to me to understand the intricacies of how the bow and the system works.

01:42:13.560 And so I want to learn it.

01:42:15.080 Now, would you get training though?

01:42:16.920 Before you?

01:42:17.800 Yeah, for sure.

01:42:18.360 Yeah, for sure.

01:42:19.660 Cause again, the stakes are higher, right?

01:42:21.980 Yeah.

01:42:22.280 Like, like I could ruin it.

01:42:23.960 I, it could cost me a bunch of time and money.

01:42:26.580 And sometimes training might just be a simple YouTube video, right?

01:42:29.640 Like, I don't know how to send a peep site, jump on YouTube.

01:42:31.740 Oh, okay.

01:42:32.280 Well, I can do that.

01:42:33.240 Or it might be to go into a tech or something and put it on a press and actually learn the

01:42:37.220 intricacies of that.

01:42:39.080 A lot of different, a lot of different perspectives you can take.

01:42:41.200 Very cool.

01:42:42.200 Well, if you guys need training, uh, in the real world on how to get on the path of becoming

01:42:48.380 a better man, you do that by joining us in the iron council.

01:42:51.820 Uh, you can learn more about the iron council at order of man.com slash iron council.

01:42:56.920 And then we also have a Facebook group, 50 K thousand plus or 50 K other men.

01:43:03.600 I like hearing you say 50 K thousand million plus guys in their world champion of Facebook

01:43:10.500 groups.

01:43:12.260 You could join us, uh, in those conversations at facebook.com slash group slash order of

01:43:17.500 man.

01:43:17.760 And of course, Mr. Mickler is on Insta at Ryan Mickler and Twitter at order of man.

01:43:22.900 Can I say one thing about Instagram real quick, by the way, guys is, um, if you make sure you're

01:43:27.740 following me on Instagram again at Ryan Mickler, M-I-C-H-L-E-R and do that because I am giving

01:43:33.540 away, uh, four signed copies of Jack Carr's new book, The Terminalist.

01:43:40.480 Nice.

01:43:40.540 So I've got four copies.

01:43:41.760 They're signed.

01:43:42.460 I'm giving those away.

01:43:43.560 You have to go over to Instagram and get your instructions for entry into the, uh, the

01:43:49.940 giveaway.

01:43:50.440 He was on the podcast.

01:43:51.820 Uh, Monday is the podcast.

01:43:53.820 When are you, when are you providing the instructions?

01:43:56.940 Yes.

01:43:57.440 They're already there.

01:43:58.520 Oh, okay.

01:43:59.220 Yeah.

01:43:59.380 They're already there.

01:44:00.180 So you're listening to this on Wednesday.

01:44:03.000 You have to do it today because I'm announcing the winners tomorrow morning.

01:44:06.780 So get on there today.

01:44:08.700 Look through, you'll, you'll see, it's just a picture with, with the book, The Terminalist.

01:44:12.960 So you'll see that.

01:44:13.580 And then follow the instructions.

01:44:14.780 Really easy.

01:44:15.420 Three simple steps.

01:44:16.420 And you are added to the, uh, to the list of entries.

01:44:20.180 Yeah.

01:44:21.040 Also, if you guys want some more perks around the order of man and the iron council kind of,

01:44:26.660 or podcast, uh, join us on Patreon at patreon.com slash order of man as well.

01:44:33.340 You're getting better at this kid slash slash.

01:44:36.300 That's right, man.

01:44:37.320 Easy forward slash. 0.66

01:44:39.540 All right, guys, that's it.

01:44:40.760 That's all we got.

01:44:41.520 I hope you guys had a great Christmas.

01:44:42.880 I hope you have a wonderful new year's.

01:44:44.860 Um, I'm going to be spending a little bit more time with my family this week, taking

01:44:47.460 it kind of easy next week.

01:44:48.600 I'm on another hunt, which is awesome.

01:44:50.680 Uh, things are busy.

01:44:51.640 Things are happening.

01:44:52.360 I hope things are going well for you guys.

01:44:53.640 Appreciate you being on the journey and, uh, until Friday for our Friday field notes, go

01:44:57.140 out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:45:00.220 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:45:03.040 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:45:07.020 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:45:10.300 Okay.

01:45:11.600 We'll see you in a tough one.

01:45:14.640 We'll be right back.

01:45:23.840 We deutlich to go there.

01:45:24.640 We'll be right back.

01:45:24.780 We'll be right back.

01:45:25.960 We'll be right back.

01:45:27.880 We'll be right back.

01:45:28.900 We'll be right back.

01:45:29.140 We'll be right back.

01:45:30.000 We'll be right back.

01:45:31.080 We'll be right back.

01:45:31.600 We'll be right back.

01:45:32.520 We'll look forward.

01:45:32.760 We'll be right back.

01:45:33.640 We'll be right back.

01:45:34.700 We'll be right back.

01:45:34.800 We'll be right through.

01:45:36.080 We'll be right back.

01:45:37.020 We'll be right back.

01:45:37.320 We'll be right back.

01:45:38.360 We'll be right back.

01:45:39.500 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - December 26, 2018

Embracing Suffering, Free Masonry, and the Power of Rituals and Traditions ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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