Order of Man - Establishing Rules for the Game of Life, Dealing with Infidelity From a Spouse, and Handling a Lousy Boss ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.040 Mr. Kev Sorensen, it's good to be with you, man.

00:00:26.820 I didn't think I'd be here this week, but we cut our trip short in light of the madness that is the coronavirus.

00:00:33.960 You guys cut it short because you're afraid that they were going to stop travel?

00:00:37.680 Actually, yeah. Yeah, well, into Boston, because Boston's been hit pretty hard, and that's typically where we fly out of.

00:00:44.280 So I've got a good friend, Pete Roberts, you know Pete, and he's like, dude, you got to get home.

00:00:49.600 And he's like sending me all these texts, like freaking me out.

00:00:52.840 And I'm like, yeah, we kind of probably do need to get home.

00:00:55.280 So we're flying home, and we land in Boston, and we had like just got word that they were shutting down all of the restaurants in Boston.

00:01:02.560 So we're like, dang, this is getting serious.

00:01:05.200 So we landed, grabbed our gear, went to the bathroom, and got out of there.

00:01:08.660 We got home at like 2 a.m., but I just wanted to get home and be here, obviously.

00:01:13.520 Yeah.

00:01:13.680 This is where I thought about it last night because I looked up the – there's an active map that shows cases, fatalities, and Maine has like two people, the entire state.

00:01:25.500 And then I even look at Utah and like small town Utah, where I was born and raised, is like non-existent, right?

00:01:32.740 Like this is only like kind of a city problem.

00:01:36.260 Oh, yeah.

00:01:36.580 Yeah, well, I mean, it's just the proximity to other people for sure.

00:01:40.000 Yeah, and I kind of thought about that a little bit.

00:01:42.680 I thought, it's probably a good time to be living in a small town.

00:01:45.760 You're like, yeah, this really doesn't affect us.

00:01:48.040 Yeah.

00:01:48.900 Well, where we've been traveling, I figured the responsible thing to do would be to self-quarantine for a couple of weeks.

00:01:54.180 So we're holed up here in our house, and fortunately, we've got our provisions, and we're all taken care of.

00:01:59.540 But, yeah, that's what we're at.

00:02:01.340 That's crazy.

00:02:01.940 So here I am, able to record with you this week, man.

00:02:05.000 I know.

00:02:05.420 Good thing we don't do these in person.

00:02:07.100 Yeah, well, we could have last week in between our jiu-jitsu sessions.

00:02:11.440 So did your gym close, by the way?

00:02:14.680 Yeah.

00:02:15.420 Yeah.

00:02:15.740 Yep.

00:02:16.480 And it's funny.

00:02:17.840 Yeah.

00:02:18.260 Like, well, a lot of jiu-jitsu schools are now closed, right?

00:02:21.840 Yeah.

00:02:22.520 And we did the same thing yesterday.

00:02:25.260 Utah County, all restaurants deliver only or pick up.

00:02:29.020 Yeah.

00:02:29.320 Right.

00:02:29.540 No dining.

00:02:29.980 I mean, so it's certainly getting odd.

00:02:32.360 What's cool about this, though, is this podcast, not affected.

00:02:37.760 The Iron Council, not affected.

00:02:39.980 The Facebook group, not affected.

00:02:41.960 I mean, this is one of those things where, hey, guess what?

00:02:45.660 It's business as usual in the world of Order of Man and Iron Council.

00:02:49.620 That's right.

00:02:49.940 So nothing's going to prevent us from becoming better in the meantime.

00:02:54.920 That's right.

00:02:55.560 Absolutely.

00:02:56.600 We're good to go.

00:02:57.980 All right.

00:02:58.480 Should we get into the questions for today?

00:03:00.240 Yes, sir.

00:03:00.780 Let's do it.

00:03:01.340 So we are filling our questions from our Facebook group.

00:03:04.000 That's facebook.com slash group slash Order of Man to join us there.

00:03:08.240 Hop on Facebook and join the conversation and have the opportunity to submit your questions

00:03:14.560 in the future for future AMA episodes of the podcast.

00:03:18.680 That's right.

00:03:19.760 All right.

00:03:20.240 I have no idea.

00:03:24.580 I'm like, what's the problem?

00:03:26.600 I'm like, I don't know.

00:03:28.500 Alphabet.

00:03:29.100 Which do you think is more of a priority, getting out of debt or getting an early start

00:03:36.060 on investing?

00:03:38.900 Well, there's a lot of variables with this.

00:03:41.200 I would say getting out of debt is generally a pretty good thing to do.

00:03:45.580 I mean, there's exceptions.

00:03:46.380 Of course, if you look at interest rates and what kind of debt it is, whether it's a business

00:03:49.920 or even a home, for example, I would save and invest before I would pay off my house.

00:03:55.560 So that's a situation where it would be better to invest and save and build up an investment

00:04:01.240 portfolio.

00:04:01.820 And by the way, now's a great time to invest in the stock market.

00:04:04.260 Everybody's freaked out.

00:04:05.620 Now's a great time to invest in the stock market.

00:04:07.560 So consider that as well.

00:04:09.260 But if you're talking about consumer debt, you know, debt that like a car payment or medical

00:04:14.520 bills, personal loans, credit cards, debt with higher interest rates, typically it's

00:04:20.640 best to pay those things off first.

00:04:22.220 I actually do like Dave Ramsey's approach where he says, you know, build up a thousand

00:04:26.500 dollars, I think is this emergency fund, and then just get hyper aggressive on the debt.

00:04:30.680 And then from there, move into investments and savings.

00:04:33.760 So I tend to lean more towards that with the exception of a mortgage payment and a low interest

00:04:41.800 debt, maybe even some business debt.

00:04:44.080 So it really depends on what you're talking about specifically, but again, consumer debt.

00:04:48.000 Yeah.

00:04:48.160 Get that stuff hammered off as quickly as you possibly can.

00:04:50.800 And then, and then max out your, your savings and investment strategies from there.

00:04:55.360 That's generally what I would say.

00:04:57.340 Obviously it's on a case by case basis for paying off debt.

00:05:01.260 I would use the snowball method, which again, I think is coined by Dave Ramsey, pay off the

00:05:06.480 lowest debt balance.

00:05:07.960 First, a lot of people say highest interest rate or highest card pay, no lowest balance

00:05:13.540 first.

00:05:14.840 And then you apply all of your discretionary income towards that lowest balance.

00:05:19.580 And then you move to the next lowest balance and use that.

00:05:22.800 Let's say you pay off a, a $5,000 credit card.

00:05:27.680 Now you were paying, I don't know, 150 a month on that.

00:05:30.960 Now take that 150 plus your discretionary income.

00:05:33.440 Let's say it was another 150 that you were applying extra.

00:05:35.960 So they have $300.

00:05:37.240 Now you apply it to the next lowest debt balance, which let's just assume it's a car payment.

00:05:41.920 You got $10,000 on that thing.

00:05:43.760 You get that paid off.

00:05:44.840 Now you've got 150 from the credit card you paid off earlier, 150 discretionary income.

00:05:49.380 So there's 300, $500 car payment.

00:05:51.680 So now you have $800.

00:05:53.840 Now you apply that to the next thing, right?

00:05:56.100 That's the, that's the snowball in, in a nutshell, how that works.

00:05:59.420 So why does Dave Ramsey choose a thousand, why a thousand for emergency?

00:06:03.280 Is there some signs behind that based on family or?

00:06:06.440 Yeah.

00:06:06.600 I mean, that's a good question.

00:06:08.020 I actually don't know his, his specific reason for doing that.

00:06:11.260 But I would assume because those little things, those little ticky tack things, which I would

00:06:17.100 consider under a thousand dollars, you know, whether that's a medical deductible

00:06:21.220 or, you know, the water heater goes out or you need to replace something on the car.

00:06:27.180 Those things happen more often than like the five and the $10,000 things.

00:06:31.560 So I assume that's why.

00:06:33.560 I don't know for sure, but that's my suggestion.

00:06:36.300 For your cigs in case you, so you can at least keep your addiction towards smoking.

00:06:41.380 That's right.

00:06:41.800 In the, in the, in the zombie apocalypse, you can like, like we're dealing with now,

00:06:45.940 you can load up and, uh, uh, on your, your cigarettes and everything else.

00:06:51.220 Or ammunition and food.

00:06:52.400 That might be a better choice, but whatever.

00:06:53.840 That's a good point.

00:06:54.720 I, at one point in our, uh, emergency preparedness, I actually thought about buying crates of cigarette

00:07:00.320 cigarettes for like, uh, exchange.

00:07:03.380 Oh, for bartering.

00:07:04.580 It's a currency.

00:07:05.600 Yeah.

00:07:05.840 Yeah, man.

00:07:06.640 But then I thought I have teenage kids.

00:07:08.360 There's no way.

00:07:09.120 Like I'm sure I'd be go down there.

00:07:11.360 Like they're missing.

00:07:12.380 I'm like, what the crap?

00:07:13.980 Yeah.

00:07:14.340 Do that.

00:07:15.140 Do alcohol.

00:07:15.820 Like all these, all these things.

00:07:17.400 Yeah.

00:07:17.840 I would actually suggest like having cash on hand in small bills, small bills, five,

00:07:22.780 ones, fives, tens, twenties, and just having cash on hand.

00:07:27.100 If things get really bad and I don't think they will in this situation, but you know, if

00:07:31.720 things get bad, you think you're going to be able to access your money at the bank?

00:07:36.800 Oh no.

00:07:37.700 No, it's all ones and zeros.

00:07:40.440 They're going to be like, they're going to be like the grocery store.

00:07:42.820 Yep.

00:07:43.300 Yep.

00:07:44.600 So have some cash on hand.

00:07:47.280 Copy.

00:07:47.680 All right.

00:07:48.420 Calvin Kashuba.

00:07:50.320 How do you deal with a boss that feels threatened by your work ethic and ambitions to want to

00:07:56.000 grow and learn as much as possible?

00:07:58.740 Help him win.

00:07:59.200 He won't be threatened if you, if you lift him up, if you prop him up, like he'll actually

00:08:04.480 consider you an asset, right?

00:08:06.760 So if you're undermining him, look, maybe he has a right to be threatened because maybe

00:08:11.780 he's a lousy boss that that could be true.

00:08:14.340 And, and so of course he would feel threatened about that, but let him know it's okay.

00:08:18.560 Like that your, your job is to put him at ease by lifting him up, by propping him up

00:08:23.000 by him making you an ally.

00:08:25.260 And that's by you, not, not brown nosing and sucking up, but just doing your job and

00:08:31.020 letting him get some of the recognition for that.

00:08:34.500 Right.

00:08:35.180 And because here's, what's going to happen.

00:08:36.520 He's going to leave.

00:08:37.160 He's going to move on or other people are going to see, oh no, it's not Al.

00:08:40.980 It's, it's John.

00:08:42.120 Right.

00:08:42.400 Or what was his name?

00:08:43.540 Uh, Calvin, Calvin, it's Calvin who's doing this and they're going to see that people

00:08:48.740 are going to recognize that over time.

00:08:50.420 And also you're going to give yourself other opportunities that might not exist in this

00:08:54.560 current employment.

00:08:55.180 It might exist somewhere else.

00:08:56.700 And you've spent all your time building up your ability to perform and your skillset

00:09:00.880 so that you can go out into another environment and do very well.

00:09:04.420 So there's a lot of benefits that come from helping your boss win in this case.

00:09:08.400 And if you undermine him and, and you make him feel stupid and you try to outshine him,

00:09:13.920 uh, you're really just setting yourself up for failure.

00:09:16.920 Yeah.

00:09:17.440 And a lot of long-term benefit, everything from established relationships where this guy

00:09:22.340 might, you never know, five years from now, you killed it for him.

00:09:25.960 He brings you on as, you know, an executive of another company, like the possibilities of,

00:09:31.320 I was just telling my son this, the possibilities of just working hard and doing an amazing job

00:09:35.600 and helping others present opportunities consistently always.

00:09:39.960 Yeah.

00:09:40.560 Yep.

00:09:41.160 Definitely.

00:09:42.120 All right.

00:09:42.760 Lyle Miller, how to work through, uh, infidelity on the wife's part.

00:09:47.560 How do you know that you should work through it or call it quits?

00:09:53.540 Brother, I feel for you, man.

00:09:54.800 Next question.

00:09:55.420 No, I know it's, this is, this is a really tough one because I know that there's guys

00:10:00.180 listening right now who are like screaming through their radios, like leave her, like she'll

00:10:04.740 that, you know, I get it.

00:10:05.760 I totally understand.

00:10:08.060 It's hard for me to say like, Oh, just do this.

00:10:11.440 Right.

00:10:11.840 Like there's so much that goes into this.

00:10:13.860 Is she, is she sorrowful?

00:10:15.820 Does she have remorse?

00:10:17.180 Does she have a desire to, to fix the behavior? 0.99

00:10:20.860 What, what is your feeling?

00:10:22.080 Like, do you feel like you can forgive?

00:10:24.380 Do you feel like you can ever trust again?

00:10:25.980 And that's going to be hard now, of course, you know, that that'll work itself out over time

00:10:30.580 a little bit, but man, there are just so many variables to this.

00:10:34.780 I would just say, trust your, trust your gut.

00:10:38.800 Like you use your, use your instinct, not, not emotion so much, but like be logical about

00:10:45.120 this.

00:10:45.480 Use emotion as, as a metric, as a, as something to consider, not the only thing, right?

00:10:50.880 Cause you're of course hurt and upset and probably angry.

00:10:53.700 So you got to use some of that, but not only emotion.

00:10:58.440 Um, and, and this is going to take a lot of conversations, certainly a lot of trust.

00:11:02.740 If you decide to move forward, is this a one-time thing?

00:11:05.540 Is this happened before?

00:11:06.660 If this is a trend, like I would probably lean more towards, Hey, this, this is a trend.

00:11:12.140 This continues to happen.

00:11:13.480 And so I'm, I'm out, right?

00:11:14.880 If this is a one-time thing in the circle, I actually understand.

00:11:18.100 And I'm not, and I'm not condoning this behavior.

00:11:20.380 I understand completely how a, how a quick one night stand or a little mess up could happen.

00:11:25.840 I completely get it.

00:11:27.520 And I'm not excusing that behavior.

00:11:29.240 I'm not saying it's okay.

00:11:30.280 Uh, I just understand how it could possibly happen.

00:11:34.680 So you got to take all those into consideration, man.

00:11:37.440 I wish I could give you a better answer than this.

00:11:39.020 I can't, I don't know.

00:11:40.060 Kip, what do you have?

00:11:40.760 You have, you have anything?

00:11:42.140 The only things that crossed my mind is whether you choose to accept her or stay together

00:11:49.280 or not, look for the opportunity to learn from the situation.

00:11:52.280 What part did you play in this?

00:11:53.880 And I know that's even a hard message.

00:11:55.600 Hey, guess what, dude?

00:11:56.520 She cheated on you. 1.00

00:11:57.740 Figure out what you did wrong, right?

00:11:59.360 Like that's, but that is what I'm saying.

00:12:01.500 There is an opportune, opportune time for you to look at the situation and say, okay,

00:12:06.260 you know, what part did I play?

00:12:08.340 Where could I have become a better husband or whatever?

00:12:10.880 Not that that justifies her behavior.

00:12:13.380 So I think there's power in that.

00:12:14.900 And then I also think there's power in kind of psychoanalyzing her a little bit to understand

00:12:20.100 where this came from and how this came to be.

00:12:22.840 And that's going to help you be able to deal with if, if it's a good decision to stay with

00:12:28.140 her or not is kind of understanding how got the, how this got started because your emotions

00:12:33.080 by default are going to immediately go to the space of, I'm not good enough.

00:12:37.000 She doesn't love me.

00:12:38.120 She's a bitch. 1.00

00:12:38.840 And it's going to be all the extremes when reality, she could actually love you.

00:12:44.000 Um, and you know, some of those aren't accurate, those emotions that immediately come to us.

00:12:49.940 And so I think understanding her perspective, um, might provide some insight that will allow

00:12:57.960 you to make that decision better.

00:12:59.740 Yeah, I agree.

00:13:00.900 I would even say, even if you don't decide to work it out, there are still learning opportunities

00:13:05.600 here for, for future relationships that you have.

00:13:09.240 And look, I get it guys.

00:13:10.760 Those of you who right now are listening to this and like, what the hell's Ryan and Kip

00:13:14.300 talking about?

00:13:15.200 Like, how could this be my fault?

00:13:17.260 She's the one who did it.

00:13:18.880 Guys, look, we understand what you're saying.

00:13:21.320 We get it.

00:13:22.360 We get it.

00:13:23.260 And we're, again, we're not condoning that behavior.

00:13:26.180 We're not taking the fault for something that isn't ours to take.

00:13:30.760 We're not being betas or cucks or anything like that.

00:13:33.760 All right.

00:13:34.020 That's going to be a knee jerk reaction of a lot of you listening.

00:13:36.540 All we're saying is that there's a circumstance that happened.

00:13:41.300 Now, how can you make yourself better because of it?

00:13:44.740 Does that excuse her behavior?

00:13:46.300 Of course not.

00:13:47.400 Does it mean that she's not a bitch? 1.00

00:13:49.080 No, of course not.

00:13:50.620 It just means that there's some opportunities here to learn, to expand, to grow, and to make

00:13:55.920 yourself better in spite of somebody else messing up, like really undermining your relationship,

00:14:04.360 your trust, and being out of integrity with themselves.

00:14:10.920 That's separate from what can we do to improve ourselves as men, as fathers, husbands, the

00:14:16.620 kind of men that we want to show up as.

00:14:18.020 The other thing I would say, Kip, and then I know you've got something else you want to

00:14:20.900 share here, is I'm just trying to think about, like, in my circumstance, if this happened,

00:14:27.740 and it hasn't, but if this happened, how would I handle this?

00:14:30.880 If I decided that I wanted to stay with my wife, there would be some hurdles that would

00:14:37.020 need to be in place.

00:14:38.600 So the first thing, yes, and the first thing would be, well, does she want to, right?

00:14:45.440 Because it would actually be really convenient for her to stay with me, but have a little

00:14:51.340 side piece over here, right?

00:14:52.760 That'd be really convenient because I'm stable.

00:14:54.600 How committed is she?

00:14:55.500 Right.

00:14:55.880 Because I've got the income, we've got the home and the kids, and so there's a lot of

00:14:59.260 convenience here, and then she's over here doing her thing. 1.00

00:15:03.320 That's not going to fly.

00:15:04.180 That's one of my boundaries.

00:15:05.240 Another thing that I would put in place is she's going to have to take some, she's going 1.00

00:15:08.640 to have to go to therapy.

00:15:10.720 That would be a thing that she would just have to do.

00:15:13.020 She would have to go see, see somebody to work through some of these issues.

00:15:18.200 And ultimately I would hope that we would do that together.

00:15:20.780 But if she's not willing to see somebody to work through some of this and to talk through

00:15:24.900 some of this, I got to say, that's a huge red flag.

00:15:27.320 Like she's not real concerned in approving.

00:15:29.560 So I would put some things in place and have these conversations and say, look, if you want

00:15:34.840 to stay together, here are my expectations here on my requirements.

00:15:38.960 And if you can meet these requirements and work towards these things, then here's what

00:15:42.700 I will do.

00:15:43.280 Like I'm going to work on this too.

00:15:45.520 And if you're not willing to do that, then you're just showing me that you're not interested.

00:15:49.020 And that's, that's your decision.

00:15:52.060 That's not my decision.

00:15:52.840 It's your decision that you're no longer interested in this relationship, which is going to be

00:15:56.780 so hard to swallow, but it's way better than just blindfolding yourself and assuming

00:16:01.820 that she just wants to get better because she said she did.

00:16:04.560 Like, yeah, it's tough.

00:16:09.200 I already forgot what I was going to say, but I like what you're saying.

00:16:12.120 It's brutal.

00:16:12.680 It's a rough situation.

00:16:14.720 So protect yourself.

00:16:16.620 Yeah.

00:16:16.880 And I think it goes back to kind of what you're alluding to earlier.

00:16:20.400 And it's no different than this coronavirus.

00:16:23.720 It's no, any circumstance in life that is difficult, that is outside of your control, you still have

00:16:30.680 two choices.

00:16:32.000 You can let it define you and adjust you and make you more negative, or you can take that

00:16:37.940 situation and make it something to make you better.

00:16:41.020 Period.

00:16:41.760 Doesn't matter if it's a cheating wife. 1.00

00:16:43.660 It doesn't matter if it's you getting fired from your job.

00:16:46.960 All of those scenarios, there's an opportunity, opportunity for you to level up and make that

00:16:52.680 situation the best thing that's ever happened to you.

00:16:55.280 I honestly believe that that's a choice.

00:16:57.700 Yeah, agreed.

00:17:00.720 It's so funny that people interpret that as like, oh, you're just taking all the blame

00:17:05.540 and you're being a little bitch. 1.00

00:17:07.060 It's like, that's not.

00:17:08.180 It's because it's egos.

00:17:09.080 If anything, it's humility.

00:17:13.240 It's improving.

00:17:15.100 It's getting better.

00:17:16.320 It's becoming more capable, becoming stronger.

00:17:18.500 This is how we grow.

00:17:19.620 We accept responsibility in all situations, even the ones, especially the ones that are outside

00:17:24.320 of our control.

00:17:25.540 Totally.

00:17:25.780 And how awesome is that?

00:17:29.580 I've been divorced and that divorce could have been the worst thing that's ever happened

00:17:34.300 to me.

00:17:34.580 And it could have been like a horrible, but guess what?

00:17:36.480 It's not.

00:17:37.900 And it's very awkward to be able to say it was the best thing that's ever happened to

00:17:42.360 me.

00:17:43.060 And I don't even condone divorces.

00:17:45.100 In fact, I don't even think I should have gotten a divorce.

00:17:47.580 I don't think it was justified.

00:17:48.840 I don't think we should have done it, but it's the best thing that's ever happened.

00:17:52.120 Why?

00:17:52.600 Because I chose to grow from it because I allowed it, the opportunity to present itself

00:17:58.500 for me to learn and become a better man.

00:18:00.640 Right.

00:18:01.020 I would actually say the same thing about my wife and I's, our separation.

00:18:05.160 Yeah.

00:18:05.560 You would never condone that on someone.

00:18:07.060 You wouldn't want that to happen, but guess what?

00:18:09.140 You don't mind it.

00:18:10.060 Why?

00:18:10.540 Because you became better.

00:18:11.420 I mean, we wouldn't have this podcast if it weren't for that, right?

00:18:14.960 We wouldn't be doing what we're doing now if it weren't for the separation with my wife.

00:18:19.260 Now there wasn't any infidelity on either of our part.

00:18:22.060 I just want to be clear on that.

00:18:23.680 But there was some areas that both of us needed to improve and we did independently and collectively.

00:18:29.340 So yeah.

00:18:30.640 All right.

00:18:31.380 All right.

00:18:32.160 Scott Dorian Adamson, mostly parenting item here.

00:18:36.420 Father roles that have to be modified into some mother roles after your wife dies.

00:18:42.000 How does a dad balance maternal and paternal ways and means in approach to kindness, nurturing,

00:18:48.260 and tough structure, even when you're gone to work 10 hours a day?

00:18:52.420 Also, the changes in how you manage new changes in the house with adult kids.

00:18:57.920 Maybe these are good questions.

00:18:59.520 It's my daily challenge.

00:19:02.140 First of all, I'm sorry for the loss of your wife, your kids' mother.

00:19:05.960 I'm assuming that's the situation here.

00:19:09.160 And man, I can't imagine.

00:19:11.820 I've thought about that.

00:19:12.660 Like what would happen if my wife died?

00:19:14.700 Or I thought about what would happen if I died?

00:19:16.560 Like how would she handle that?

00:19:17.700 I've thought about those things.

00:19:19.020 But man, to be able to have to live through that is, I can't.

00:19:22.140 I can't imagine.

00:19:23.300 I met a guy this weekend who his wife passed away about eight months ago from cancer.

00:19:29.960 Her second time dealing with cancer.

00:19:32.120 He's got five daughters, I believe, at home.

00:19:34.200 And so like I feel for you.

00:19:37.060 Yeah, I feel for him.

00:19:38.180 I feel for you asking this question.

00:19:42.800 I've just never been in this situation.

00:19:44.720 But the thing that I thought about is make sure that they're still getting that feminine presence. 1.00

00:19:50.460 Because there are certain things that you just can't, you can't do as a man.

00:19:55.220 Just like a woman. 1.00

00:19:55.920 There are certain things that a woman, my mother, for example, she raised my sister and I primarily on her own.

00:20:02.800 And she always knew, like she did the best job she could.

00:20:06.120 And she did a wonderful job.

00:20:07.640 Incredible.

00:20:08.000 I look back at it now and think, how in the world did this woman do this? 1.00

00:20:12.640 And millions of women have done it. 1.00

00:20:14.020 Millions of men have done it.

00:20:15.480 So that should give you hope too.

00:20:18.100 But the one thing with my mother that she always recognized is she knew that I needed to get around other men.

00:20:23.840 And so she got me involved in Boy Scouts.

00:20:26.760 She got me involved in competitive sports.

00:20:29.400 And then eventually I went on to the military.

00:20:31.580 So there was a lot of male presence, masculinity in my life in the absence of a permanent father figure at home.

00:20:39.340 And so I think just by you asking this question, you're being very aware of the nurturing and the love and the compassion that generally women are able to offer in greater quantities, I believe, than men.

00:20:51.180 Right?

00:20:51.480 But you need to get your kids around other feminine presences. 1.00

00:20:55.120 That could be your mother or her mother.

00:20:57.660 Maybe you have some siblings, a sister.

00:21:00.440 But you need to get them around, especially the girls.

00:21:03.240 I've seen studies that suggest that the same-sex parent is the most important person in a young child's life.

00:21:10.120 The same-sex parent.

00:21:11.840 So girls' mother, boys' father. 0.66

00:21:13.740 Not to diminish the role of the other, but that's really important.

00:21:16.940 So the only advice and suggestion I can give you is make sure there's still a feminine presence. 1.00

00:21:22.600 I'm not saying date and bring women to the house. 0.80

00:21:25.100 Like that's all I'm saying.

00:21:25.940 I'm just saying if there's a mother or a sister or an aunt that you can have spend some time with you guys.

00:21:31.960 You can go out and do things together, even if it's just going to the park.

00:21:35.180 Try to get those women involved and they're going to get that. 1.00

00:21:38.320 And then the fact, again, that you're asking this question tells me that you're probably aware of it and you're naturally stepping into some of the nurturing and compassion and love that, again, I think women generally offer in greater doses.

00:21:53.580 Yeah, totally.

00:22:23.580 After gymnastics and say, hey, would you mind if Kika and Kwanee came over for like a little tea party with your daughter at your place?

00:22:31.680 Or you could generate those scenarios.

00:22:34.620 You just might need to get a little bit creative.

00:22:36.940 And those women want to. 1.00

00:22:38.740 They're going to match.

00:22:39.820 If they know your circumstance and your situation, you're going to have – it's going to be very easy for you to ask women that you respect to be able to be involved in your daughter's life.

00:22:49.760 I know without a doubt right now I could spin off a huge list of women that are our family friends that would be more than willing. 0.99

00:22:57.780 Binders full of women. 0.99

00:22:59.240 Yeah.

00:22:59.740 I know all these women. 1.00

00:23:02.440 That's not what I intended.

00:23:05.000 But I know them, right?

00:23:07.200 And they would all step up in a second.

00:23:09.340 But you might have to ask or take some –

00:23:12.680 Yeah, you have to take some initiative.

00:23:14.280 It would be the same – I think about it from this context.

00:23:16.440 If I knew a single mother, let's say her son was on a baseball team or a jujitsu, and she asked me, said, hey, my son, can my son come over and play with you guys?

00:23:27.620 Like, are you – you know, if you're, like, going to play baseball or going to the park or whatever, can my son play with your son and you guys?

00:23:33.500 I would be more than happy to do that.

00:23:36.100 Any rational human being would completely understand the circumstance and be more than happy to step into that role.

00:23:42.620 No doubt in my mind.

00:23:43.700 So it might be a little nervous asking.

00:23:45.880 You might feel like, oh, am I being too forward, like inviting my kid to go play with – it's the situation.

00:23:50.380 It is what it is, and people are more than happy to step up and help that way.

00:23:53.500 Yeah, read the shirt.

00:23:54.740 Read the T-shirt.

00:23:55.720 No, be unreasonable, even with your requests to people.

00:24:00.000 You know, like do what's best for your kids, and sometimes that seems unreasonable.

00:24:03.600 Do it anyway.

00:24:04.280 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:05.580 All right.

00:24:06.580 All right.

00:24:07.100 Wim, Hoke, have you heard Bajorn, Bull, Hanson, and if yes, what are your thoughts?

00:24:14.860 I don't know who that is.

00:24:16.860 Is it just pronounced as Bjorn?

00:24:18.580 Bjorn, I think.

00:24:19.560 Bjorn, Bjorn, Bull, Hanson.

00:24:20.340 Let me see.

00:24:21.240 Let me see.

00:24:22.140 Bull, Hanson?

00:24:23.500 The question is, is Ryan Googling or he's binging?

00:24:27.520 Oh, I do know who this is.

00:24:28.940 You're Yahooing.

00:24:30.320 I was – yeah, I was – what are the –

00:24:33.900 Ask Jeeves.

00:24:34.880 Yes, Ask Jeeves.

00:24:36.180 I do know who this is actually because I follow – yeah, I do.

00:24:39.640 I didn't know what his name was right offhand.

00:24:41.660 Yeah, I follow him on YouTube, and I'm not like way familiar with him,

00:24:47.840 but I actually want to have him on the podcast because he's got some very, very interesting thoughts about masculinity and manliness,

00:24:54.560 and he's got a great YouTube channel.

00:24:56.640 So, yeah, I am familiar with him.

00:25:00.140 What are your thoughts on him?

00:25:01.860 Again, I don't know him way too good, but I've just – like I said, I've been following on YouTube,

00:25:07.920 and I like what the guy has to say about manliness and masculinity.

00:25:12.500 It's kind of a – it looks like a dude living up in the mountains.

00:25:16.600 He does.

00:25:17.160 Yeah, he does these like YouTube videos where he's just sitting around his campfire and like cooking coffee or whatever he's doing and talking about life.

00:25:27.120 It's actually really good.

00:25:28.220 It's really insightful.

00:25:29.180 So, I need to reach out to him.

00:25:30.680 I'm going to make a note to reach out to him, see if I can get him on the podcast.

00:25:33.780 Yeah, or Wim if you have some connections.

00:25:35.880 Yeah, if you know him.

00:25:36.440 Reach out to Mr. McQuater.

00:25:37.920 Yep.

00:25:38.620 All right, Steven Juvenali.

00:25:42.080 Man, I'm slaughter names, guys.

00:25:44.680 I'm sorry.

00:25:45.600 All right, moving on.

00:25:46.340 I'm nearing the end of a development program at work, three-to-eight-month rotation, learning about business,

00:25:52.720 and I'm beginning to look at entry-level jobs within the company.

00:25:55.980 They encourage changing jobs approximately every three years to get different experiences and move up.

00:26:02.260 Would you say the team or the boss or job itself is more important at this early stage?

00:26:07.860 Thank you for both – thank you both for what you do.

00:26:11.460 So, what's more important, the boss or the position?

00:26:17.480 I don't really understand why you'd ask this question because, I mean, you're going to focus on both.

00:26:24.460 I mean, both are important, and I don't think one needs to come at the expense of the other.

00:26:27.920 Like, I think it's very important that you learn your skill set with the job specifically and the team,

00:26:32.780 and then you do the best job that you can.

00:26:34.740 And I think it's also important – look, if you're focusing on the boss,

00:26:38.700 I got to say you're probably thinking about brown-nosing a little bit.

00:26:41.980 Like, you don't need to focus on the boss.

00:26:45.260 You just need to do a good job, right?

00:26:47.800 And some of that is going to include having the boss involved.

00:26:50.980 He's going to give you direction and an instruction.

00:26:52.980 You're probably going to report back to him or her and explain what you've done and how you're progressing.

00:26:57.720 So, some of that is naturally going to take care of itself.

00:27:00.320 But if you place the focus on the boss, that's weird to me.

00:27:06.280 Like, why are you doing that?

00:27:07.680 Like, focus on your job.

00:27:09.600 Learn from this individual.

00:27:11.040 Learn from your team leaders.

00:27:12.780 Develop new skill sets.

00:27:14.480 Push yourself even outside of your work so that you can be better at work.

00:27:18.320 And the boss stuff, I feel like, will take care of itself.

00:27:21.040 Like, it really do.

00:27:21.600 I think thinking about this, talking through it, the emphasis should be placed on the job, not the boss.

00:27:28.360 And the boss is part of the job.

00:27:31.460 Yeah.

00:27:32.340 Yeah, totally.

00:27:33.100 If I'm understanding the question right, it's kind of an interesting question.

00:27:36.440 I'm just trying to think through it a little bit.

00:27:38.060 Yeah, I mean, at first glance, I was like, oh, well, is there opportunities in life where when you get connected to the right people, right?

00:27:44.880 And I'm, you know, I'm one of your employees and because of our strong relationship and where I establish myself when you move up, it affects me.

00:27:54.020 And opportunities present themselves probably more because of our established relationship.

00:27:58.040 But you might have an amazing boss that's stuck, you know, managing a call center team and he's going nowhere.

00:28:05.580 But he's a great boss, you know, and it doesn't mean that opportunities will present themselves for you because of who he is.

00:28:12.920 Well, I may not even be able to promote you.

00:28:15.400 Yeah, I think you ought to just be good with everyone.

00:28:18.060 The boss and your upline and your peers and even those who you might train at some point.

00:28:23.440 Like you just ought to be good with everyone.

00:28:25.400 Look, networking is an invaluable skill.

00:28:28.860 Your ability to connect with high performers is critical.

00:28:33.100 I've been able to do that fairly well.

00:28:35.120 And I'm not going to shy away from saying that.

00:28:37.080 Like I've been pretty good at networking with powerful, successful people.

00:28:42.620 We wouldn't have this podcast if that wasn't the case.

00:28:44.880 And every time I've learned how to network and connect and build relationships and add value, which I did a podcast several weeks ago on this subject, the power of networking and how to help other people win.

00:28:56.180 I think I did a Friday field notes two or three weeks ago on it.

00:28:59.180 When I implement those strategies that I share, I win.

00:29:02.280 And so does that other individual, by the way.

00:29:03.980 That's the beauty.

00:29:04.680 It's like this is a win-win relationship.

00:29:06.080 So, yeah, I wouldn't place too much emphasis on like how do I brown-nose and win over the boss because it's going to become annoying.

00:29:12.800 I would just be a great networker and then do your job really well.

00:29:17.180 Yeah, and help other people always.

00:29:19.420 Of course.

00:29:20.240 Yeah.

00:29:20.500 I just have a great example of this.

00:29:22.720 Just this past month, we had a, I don't know, maybe just a general employee for an existing client ended up leaving that company and got a call from him just like a couple weeks ago.

00:29:35.200 He moved back east and now he's in a leadership position in New York.

00:29:38.560 And he's like, hey, let's bring you guys in to, you know what I mean, to bid on some work.

00:29:42.340 It's like, good thing I paid attention to that relationship.

00:29:45.000 He was never, and he wasn't in a position to quote-unquote provide me value in the past, but we provided him value nonetheless.

00:29:53.540 And now he's in a position to be able to, you know, consume or purchase our services.

00:30:00.500 Right.

00:30:01.020 Just things happen.

00:30:02.400 Yeah.

00:30:02.860 By the way, I would also say, and I mentioned this a couple weeks ago on that podcast I'm referring to.

00:30:07.400 I'll have to look that up here in a second when you're asking the next question or whatever.

00:30:10.280 But Jordan Harbinger has some great information on networking and social capital.

00:30:17.340 I think he has a free course on his site.

00:30:19.460 Yeah, he does.

00:30:20.040 Yeah.

00:30:20.340 So if you go to jordanharbinger.com, I think, I don't know for sure, but you can find it, jordanharbinger.com.

00:30:27.640 And then you can take his social course or whatever it's called.

00:30:32.160 I'm going to remember it by the time this episode's over.

00:30:34.320 Yeah.

00:30:34.660 What he has.

00:30:35.100 He's, he's a good, he's been a good friend of mine and I've learned a lot about networking and relationship building and using social capital, developing and building social capital, tapping into it at some point, which he has.

00:30:46.340 Like when he left his previous podcast, he called me and tapped into his social capital with me and said, Hey man, I'm starting this new thing.

00:30:53.040 I need your help.

00:30:54.020 Can I come on your podcast?

00:30:55.060 I said, absolutely.

00:30:55.960 Right.

00:30:56.220 So he knows how to use it.

00:30:57.800 He knows how to build it and grow it.

00:30:59.260 It's pretty powerful stuff.

00:31:00.560 So definitely check it out.

00:31:02.220 Yeah.

00:31:02.720 Okay.

00:31:02.900 Uh, Jacob cores being milk, uh, being military and moving every two to three years.

00:31:08.420 What do you suggest as a good amount of emergency food supply storage that would, uh, that I would be able to restock every few years?

00:31:17.880 Well, I think having a 12 month supply is ideal.

00:31:22.280 I think we should all build towards having 12 months of food storage.

00:31:25.800 That said, I know it's difficult.

00:31:27.540 So I would say three to six months is probably an average, like, like a C I would say.

00:31:34.100 I mean, if you had, if you had three to six months, I'd give you a C.

00:31:36.820 If you had nine months, I'd give you a B.

00:31:38.460 If you had 12 months, I'd give you an A.

00:31:41.320 If I had to grade it, anything below three months, you're in the red zone.

00:31:45.780 Like you're failing.

00:31:46.480 So build that up and look, you don't have to do all at once.

00:31:50.460 I get it.

00:31:50.900 I'm not telling you to go spend two, three, four grand all at once to get everything.

00:31:54.040 You can't now anyways, because the grocery stores don't have everything, but spread it out.

00:31:58.020 You know, every time you go to the grocery store, spend an extra, whatever's in your budget.

00:32:01.780 Maybe it's $20 and maybe it's a hundred dollars.

00:32:03.900 I don't, I don't know whatever your budget is, but just buy a non-perishable items.

00:32:08.100 Uh, every time you go spend an extra, you know, 10% or 20% of your grocery bill on building

00:32:13.840 up that food storage and buying batteries and headlamps and flashlights and blankets.

00:32:20.320 And as it warms up, you know, a lot of the snow clothes are starting to go on sale.

00:32:24.040 So buy up some warm clothes, just like every time, just spend 10, 15, 20, a hundred bucks

00:32:29.220 and you'll be there before you know it.

00:32:31.820 Yeah.

00:32:32.820 What's your thoughts on dry pack?

00:32:34.480 Like using dry pack food storage versus, you know, cans and whatnot.

00:32:39.860 Uh, I think it's great.

00:32:40.920 I think you should have that.

00:32:42.120 Um, I have MREs is something that we have, uh, quite a few of them.

00:32:47.500 And then we have, um, like dehydrated meals, which is what you're talking about, right?

00:32:51.580 Like mountain house.

00:32:52.460 Yeah.

00:32:52.620 Mountain house.

00:32:53.260 Yep.

00:32:53.700 Um, that's, that's what we have in fact is the mountain house meals.

00:32:56.100 Uh, yeah, I think those are great.

00:32:57.440 I don't think it should be the only thing that you have, right.

00:32:59.480 You want to diversify within your food storage as well.

00:33:02.140 Uh, so yeah.

00:33:03.960 Have it all.

00:33:05.280 Absolutely.

00:33:06.380 Cool.

00:33:07.420 All right.

00:33:07.960 Chris Johnson.

00:33:08.940 I actually, one thing Kip, I will say about the dry pack stuff is it's very light, which

00:33:14.000 is valuable.

00:33:14.960 So it's a great thing to throw in packs because it's super light.

00:33:19.980 Um, I don't know.

00:33:21.440 I'm sure you could eat it without, I don't know if you'd eat it without water.

00:33:25.060 It can't, do you know on that?

00:33:26.240 You could, I guess you could, if you had to.

00:33:28.980 So, so you definitely want to think about a filtration system, right?

00:33:34.040 Because if, if it's, you could eat them cold, wouldn't be good, but you can't eat it cold,

00:33:38.620 but just make sure you have some sort of filtration system, uh, at your disposal as

00:33:44.460 well.

00:33:44.680 It's very important.

00:33:45.620 But yeah, some of them, you know, like there's granola and a few other things that require

00:33:50.760 no, no water, but most of them require some form of water.

00:33:53.740 They're just good because they're light.

00:33:55.160 So you're not carrying around cans and like meat and it's like super light.

00:33:59.880 Totally.

00:34:00.280 Well, it's after Katrina.

00:34:01.860 Um, we changed our food storage after that scenario.

00:34:05.060 Cause I, I sat back and thought, Oh, an entire basement full of food storage and cans

00:34:10.060 underwater.

00:34:11.160 Yeah.

00:34:11.640 And you need to get up and go.

00:34:13.620 That was not beneficial whatsoever to all of those people.

00:34:17.440 So I was like, you know what?

00:34:18.720 We're switching a great deal of our food storage to dry pack so we can pack, go if I need to.

00:34:23.940 And I love backpacking.

00:34:25.700 So whenever we want to go backpacking, I just go down, grab a couple of packs, throw them

00:34:31.200 in the back and we're good to go.

00:34:32.320 If you do that, just make sure.

00:34:33.660 And I know you are, but I'm just saying like, make sure you're constantly replenishing your

00:34:36.920 food storage.

00:34:37.800 Yeah.

00:34:38.360 Because we, so my wife and I, this was years ago.

00:34:41.620 We went through a very difficult financial time.

00:34:44.700 Like we were having a hard time.

00:34:45.900 I think it was when I started my financial planning practice and we ate a lot of stuff from

00:34:50.500 our food storage during that time, a lot of stuff.

00:34:52.960 And so when things got, when we got back on our feet and financially we were more stable,

00:34:57.440 we looked at it and we're like, how's all of our food storage gone?

00:35:00.040 It's because we ate it all when we were broke.

00:35:02.160 So make sure if you're using it, that you're also replenishing it.

00:35:05.380 Yeah.

00:35:06.280 Yeah, for sure.

00:35:06.840 And it is good to use it occasionally, by the way, like you should be using it because

00:35:10.760 it's going to spoil.

00:35:12.200 So use it and then replace it.

00:35:14.320 Yeah, exactly.

00:35:15.100 Yeah.

00:35:15.540 If you get new canned beans or whatever, like go downstairs, put those in storage and then

00:35:19.620 grab the ones that have best use between 1990 or something.

00:35:24.320 Within the last 20 years, you know, as long as it's like 10 to 20 years, you should be

00:35:27.840 safe.

00:35:28.260 You get more than 20 years in trouble.

00:35:30.080 That's right.

00:35:30.780 That's right.

00:35:31.640 By the way, this is not, yeah.

00:35:33.520 Don't get sick and then blame us because you ate some can of beans that expired 20 years

00:35:38.320 ago.

00:35:38.540 And if you're going to blame somebody, blame Kip because he said it, not me.

00:35:41.700 Oh, you're fine.

00:35:42.480 It's good for your immune system.

00:35:44.040 See, you keep saying it.

00:35:45.120 So now you know exactly who to blame.

00:35:48.440 All right.

00:35:49.020 Chris Johnson, he has a question about your beard, man.

00:35:51.500 Yeah.

00:35:52.340 It's one of those questions.

00:35:53.620 All right.

00:35:53.840 Let's hear it.

00:35:54.020 Okay.

00:35:54.220 I've been waiting for an AMA just for this question.

00:35:57.560 All right.

00:35:57.940 It better be good.

00:35:58.700 All right.

00:35:58.720 Are we all ready?

00:35:59.440 Is it Chris?

00:36:00.080 It better be good.

00:36:01.080 Yeah.

00:36:01.760 Okay.

00:36:03.040 Why do you have a beard?

00:36:04.800 Question mark.

00:36:05.780 In previous AMAs, you've stated that it gets in your way during jujitsu at times.

00:36:10.160 I remember Jocko jokingly asking when you were going to shave.

00:36:13.900 You didn't have any input on it, on its impact in swimming because you don't swim laps.

00:36:19.120 I'm sure it generates some drag though, regardless.

00:36:22.860 But it seems that the beard offers little practical advantage, but curious to see what

00:36:27.440 thought process is behind having it.

00:36:29.320 I think you're reading way too much into it because I haven't.

00:36:34.140 Maybe there's a magical force behind the beard, Chris.

00:36:37.400 Don't you know we brought this up multiple times, right?

00:36:40.600 It offends him.

00:36:41.880 It prevents – what else does it prevent?

00:36:44.520 Reduces chokes on the mat.

00:36:46.620 Prevents looking like a woman. 0.99

00:36:48.720 There's all kinds of things it prevents.

00:36:51.960 Why do I have a beard?

00:36:53.420 You know, I don't know.

00:36:54.720 I don't know.

00:36:55.460 I'll tell you why.

00:36:56.180 So five years ago roughly, somebody had challenged me to grow the yerd, which is grow a beard

00:37:03.240 for a year without trimming it or cutting it.

00:37:06.860 So I grew a yerd.

00:37:07.700 I've never heard of this before.

00:37:08.260 It's the yerd, yeah. 0.53

00:37:09.900 So I grew a yerd.

00:37:11.680 And from there, I just – I liked it.

00:37:13.920 I liked having it.

00:37:14.900 I liked the way that it looked.

00:37:17.060 I liked that people would talk to me about it.

00:37:19.460 It was a great icebreaker.

00:37:20.780 People would say – and we'd talk about it.

00:37:22.980 So I just liked having it.

00:37:24.760 I don't know when this –

00:37:25.540 And the wife likes it. 1.00

00:37:27.000 She likes it.

00:37:27.800 So it's like, yeah.

00:37:29.380 Yeah.

00:37:30.020 All choices are starting to go out the window.

00:37:31.940 Exactly.

00:37:33.140 Look, men have facial hair for a reason.

00:37:35.680 Like, do I know what it is?

00:37:37.800 No, not entirely.

00:37:39.740 But there's a lot of research about it.

00:37:41.540 There's a great book called – oh, what's – I'm drawing a blank now.

00:37:44.880 It's called Of Beards and Men. 0.93

00:37:48.180 Of Beards and Men.

00:37:48.640 Of Beards and Men.

00:37:49.460 That's funny.

00:37:49.960 And it talks about historically why men have grown beards, what historical figures have grown beards.

00:37:57.500 When that changed, like Alexander the Great didn't have a beard.

00:38:01.420 And so it changed a lot of the culture.

00:38:03.140 And so people started shaving.

00:38:04.740 But up until that, men had beards historically.

00:38:09.120 So there's like a lot of history about it.

00:38:10.900 It's just really interesting to me, which is – I know a lot of people are like, really?

00:38:15.040 That's interesting.

00:38:15.460 Yeah, it is.

00:38:15.900 It's interesting.

00:38:17.180 I don't know when he asked this question, but I have trimmed about five inches off of my beard for jujitsu reasons.

00:38:26.080 Yeah, to allow his neck to be a little bit more exposed.

00:38:28.580 I just want to make it harder on myself because it's just been too easy.

00:38:33.040 You know, it's like –

00:38:33.960 Yeah, I never get choked.

00:38:35.220 I know.

00:38:35.620 I better show my neck more.

00:38:37.740 Like what are guys complaining about jujitsu being hard and stuff?

00:38:40.540 So like I made it harder on myself.

00:38:42.260 And now like I kind of get that it's maybe a little hard, but I still don't know what these guys are complaining about.

00:38:48.880 By the way, we had a good roll the other day.

00:38:51.520 Yeah, we did.

00:38:52.120 That was good, man.

00:38:53.180 Until you put me in the Darce choke.

00:38:55.680 And I knew it was coming, and I still felt prayed to it.

00:38:59.360 I know.

00:39:00.200 It got tight quick.

00:39:02.060 I was trying to hold on, thinking, okay, maybe he'll let go.

00:39:04.500 I'm like, he's not letting go.

00:39:05.720 He's not letting go.

00:39:06.720 All right, I'm out.

00:39:07.220 Wow.

00:39:10.540 Yeah, so I just like it.

00:39:13.500 I just like it.

00:39:14.220 That's it.

00:39:15.060 There's no real reason.

00:39:17.120 At this point, it's way more manageable, and I like it better shorter.

00:39:21.340 I got to say, I do like it better shorter.

00:39:23.480 It doesn't get in the way.

00:39:24.480 It's more manageable.

00:39:25.780 I just like having the beard.

00:39:27.140 Well, you've such a – to be frank, I mean, you are a brand.

00:39:31.820 That's true as well.

00:39:32.960 That's true as well.

00:39:33.720 You kind of created a brand around that beard.

00:39:35.860 That is true.

00:39:36.560 So it would be a little difficult to go too short.

00:39:39.040 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:40.800 I've seen articles.

00:39:42.100 The CDC recommends shaving your beard to avoid coronavirus.

00:39:45.460 I'm like, no, that's dumb.

00:39:47.940 If anything, I believe that – and I don't know if this is documented,

00:39:51.240 well-documented or not, but if anything, I think that the beard is a filtration system.

00:39:58.060 It is.

00:39:59.380 Think about it.

00:39:59.880 It's literally protecting your nose and mouth.

00:40:02.480 Like, literally, look.

00:40:04.380 This is a natural filtration system.

00:40:09.360 In fact, Ryan doesn't even use water filtration systems when he goes backpacking.

00:40:13.240 He just dips the beard and drinks.

00:40:14.660 That's right, and just let the water filter through the little fibers in the beard,

00:40:17.920 and I'm good to go.

00:40:19.180 You can do all kinds of stuff.

00:40:20.260 I know there's toilet paper problems.

00:40:21.800 Like, you could do all kinds of stuff.

00:40:25.700 If he, like, needs an emergency rope, he could cut it and weave his own –

00:40:29.620 Weave it together.

00:40:30.500 And then save his family with it.

00:40:32.100 I mean –

00:40:32.340 When I cut my beard, somebody's like, you should do Locks of Love.

00:40:36.000 I'm like, oh, could you imagine somebody having this?

00:40:40.180 Like, nobody would want this on their head.

00:40:44.020 It's like, I'm not going to say it.

00:40:46.400 That's funny.

00:40:47.220 No, say it.

00:40:47.340 What you should do is you should make the – who's the author that you had on about the 100 survival skills?

00:40:54.920 Oh, Clint Emerson.

00:40:56.480 Yeah.

00:40:57.060 That would be good.

00:40:57.680 You and Clint should do, like, a beard survival book.

00:41:00.240 That would be good.

00:41:00.980 With all the things you should do with the beard.

00:41:01.300 I'm going to shoot him a message.

00:41:02.560 It'd be super fun.

00:41:03.680 I'm going to shoot him a message.

00:41:05.380 Yeah.

00:41:05.620 By the way, I made a mistake of having that book laid around too much.

00:41:09.480 It was a couple of years ago.

00:41:10.760 And my six-year-old son's, like, reading it.

00:41:12.900 And I'm like, oh, nice.

00:41:14.300 Like, that's a cool book.

00:41:15.140 And then, like, shortly after, he's like, did you know I can hide weapons in my butt?

00:41:19.280 In my butt?

00:41:20.100 Yes.

00:41:20.420 I'm like, what are you?

00:41:20.960 Of course.

00:41:21.300 That's the one thing he saw.

00:41:23.160 I know.

00:41:23.980 Totally.

00:41:24.280 Like, there's two pages in that entire book on that.

00:41:26.840 And he, of course, found that.

00:41:29.060 Totally.

00:41:29.540 I'm like, do not try that.

00:41:31.020 That's not a good idea unless it's an emergency.

00:41:33.600 Yes.

00:41:34.700 That's funny.

00:41:35.680 All right.

00:41:35.920 He's like, figure out how to make a shank and hide weapons.

00:41:40.520 Perfect.

00:41:40.980 All right.

00:41:41.500 Clint would be proud.

00:41:43.480 Totally.

00:41:44.020 Brady Gambling.

00:41:45.420 Have you read The Barefoot Investor by Scott Page?

00:41:48.300 If so, what are your thoughts?

00:41:49.700 I haven't read it.

00:41:50.840 Okay.

00:41:51.560 There you go.

00:41:55.000 I don't have any thoughts.

00:41:56.100 I don't have any thoughts.

00:41:56.740 I haven't read it.

00:41:57.940 Like, hey, look, we got to be truthful, right?

00:41:59.980 Like, I could BS you and say, oh, yeah, it's a great book.

00:42:02.720 I don't know.

00:42:03.820 I haven't read it.

00:42:04.680 There's other good books that I've read, you know, but that isn't one of them.

00:42:09.180 Yeah.

00:42:09.560 It's really surprising for Ryan to say he hasn't read that book in particular because usually he's covered them all.

00:42:15.100 But hey, by the way, I will say, if you're not following along on Instagram, then head over to Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

00:42:22.160 And is yours at Kip Sorensen?

00:42:23.840 Yes, sir.

00:42:24.160 Okay, so head over to more mine than Kip's.

00:42:29.800 He's trying to maintain a ratio.

00:42:31.580 That's right.

00:42:32.040 He's like, as long as I have 100,000 followers, then I'm good.

00:42:36.460 The reason I'm telling you to head over to Instagram is because I just posted yesterday, as of the release of this podcast, eight books that I've read over the last little bit.

00:42:46.340 And I think I've got them actually sitting right here.

00:42:49.160 Over the, like, what, the last six months or what?

00:42:51.740 Yeah, I would say.

00:42:52.520 You've done this list before.

00:42:53.640 So this is a newer list.

00:42:55.980 No, no, no.

00:42:56.220 It's just a recent list.

00:42:57.700 Yeah, well, let me just tell you what they are.

00:42:59.360 So Wild at Heart by John Eldridge.

00:43:02.180 Atomic Habits by James Clear.

00:43:03.940 There it is, right there.

00:43:04.820 Yep.

00:43:06.040 Iron John by Robert Bly.

00:43:08.360 Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

00:43:10.500 Savage Son by Jack Carr, which doesn't come out, I believe, until beginning or mid-April.

00:43:15.820 So you have to do a pre-order on that one.

00:43:18.720 Endurance, which is actually one of my all-time favorite books and not really well-known.

00:43:23.140 It's about Ernest Shackleton's horrific trip across the Antarctic, which is really good, by Alfred Lansing.

00:43:31.820 Leadership, Strategy, and Tactics by Jocko Willink, who I've had on the podcast to talk about it.

00:43:36.700 And then The Road, which is actually pretty timely now, by Cormac McCarthy.

00:43:41.200 What's The Road about?

00:43:42.340 It's about an apocalypse and a father and a son trying to survive in that time.

00:43:48.680 It's really good.

00:43:49.740 Nice.

00:43:50.260 Fictional book?

00:43:51.140 Fictional, yep.

00:43:51.760 And Savage Son is as well?

00:43:53.800 Savage Son is fictional.

00:43:56.120 And then Wild, well, yeah, those are the two fictionals.

00:43:59.620 But I've had John Eldridge, Wild at Heart on the podcast.

00:44:02.840 I've had James Clear, Atomic Habits on the podcast.

00:44:04.900 I've had Jack Carr, Savage Son on the podcast.

00:44:06.680 I've had Jocko Willink, Leadership Strategy and Tactics on the podcast.

00:44:09.640 So you can supplement all of those with the podcast as well.

00:44:13.540 But those are eight good books.

00:44:14.600 I know a lot of people have some downtime right now.

00:44:16.380 So read, do stuff that's going to be productive for you instead of just sitting around watching Netflix and eating chips.

00:44:24.000 Which, hey, I'm a fan of that too occasionally, but just make sure you're doing other stuff as well.

00:44:28.260 That's also the other reason why he trimmed the beard, right?

00:44:30.320 His chip input was being reduced.

00:44:32.740 No, actually, when chips fall out of my mouth, I can keep them in the beard and then snack on them later.

00:44:38.800 Find them.

00:44:39.360 Yeah.

00:44:41.780 Peter Buchanan, how to manage the transition from team member to team leader at work.

00:44:47.460 Also, how to manage the change in relationships for coworkers and subordinates.

00:44:52.080 This is a great question.

00:44:53.340 It is good.

00:44:53.880 I would actually say to go back to the book, Leadership Strategy and Tactics.

00:44:57.840 If you haven't read it, then you should definitely read that.

00:45:00.280 Because inside of the way that that book is laid out, he goes through and he answers, Jocko answers questions like this.

00:45:06.880 Like, hey, how do I manage relationships when I transition from team leader to team member to team leader?

00:45:12.380 And he'll go through and I'll actually write that out and document how you should do that.

00:45:16.600 So it's a very good book for transitioning into leadership.

00:45:20.420 Um, yeah, how do you make the transition?

00:45:24.600 I think, man, this is tough.

00:45:27.200 You know, you're going to have some relationships that are pretty close that maybe are so friendly that it makes it more challenging.

00:45:32.080 But I think you continue to maintain the openness of the relationships.

00:45:35.820 I also think that you don't become the, like, you don't overcompensate.

00:45:40.340 I think a lot of people tend to do that, like, when they move into a new role, that they'll overcompensate and they'll start dictating and bossing and just turning into a jerk.

00:45:47.840 So just make sure that you're still open, uh, that you're still receptive, that you're still humble, that you're still learning from people who are, you know, technically they're beneath, beneath you in a way.

00:45:58.220 Like they're, they're, I don't know the right, they're just your, your, your team members, we'll call them.

00:46:02.580 Uh, so continue to use their feedback and their input and get their, uh, engagement, keep them involved in the process and then just transition slowly.

00:46:13.440 Like, don't be so abrupt that all of a sudden it's like, whoa, who's this Ryan guy?

00:46:18.400 Like, why is he behaving?

00:46:19.600 Let me change, let me change this and I'm going to change this.

00:46:22.120 And because be frank, if you have that attitude, you're arrogant.

00:46:25.060 You're arrogant and ignorant because you assume that your way is the right way without all the details.

00:46:32.140 So definitely the time to transition.

00:46:34.020 Yeah.

00:46:34.380 And you undermine your authority, right?

00:46:37.200 Because you look, you could probably as a team leader, get people to do what you tell them to, because that's their job.

00:46:44.620 They have to, and there's a risk to them not doing it, which is losing their job.

00:46:48.040 And, uh, I had a, uh, a gentleman on podcast, the art of coaching, Brett Bartholomew, he talks about the difference between what term did he use compliance and commitment.

00:47:00.100 So you can get people to be compliant, right?

00:47:03.060 Cause they have to follow you.

00:47:04.040 They have to do what you say, but that isn't commitment.

00:47:06.880 Commitment is another level.

00:47:08.160 The way that you get commitment is be by, by being open-minded, by being humble, by including them in the process, by being transparent on how things are going.

00:47:16.600 I realize you can't share and disclose everything, but there's certain things that you should be able to share with them about how performance is and what metrics we're looking at and why we're doing things the way that we're doing.

00:47:26.000 The more transparent you can be about it, the more open, uh, the more success that you will have with those individuals.

00:47:31.600 And ultimately, if you decide and, and make it about the team winning, not about you winning, because sometimes those can be at odds with each other.

00:47:42.180 Hey, my job is to help you guys win, not to help me win.

00:47:46.020 And I try to do that in the iron council.

00:47:48.580 I try not to elevate myself and place myself on pedestals.

00:47:52.360 I don't belong.

00:47:53.640 Now I realize I'm leading the organization.

00:47:55.880 I realized that the direction and everything else is going the way that I want it to.

00:47:59.440 I get that.

00:48:00.440 It has to, you have to have a leader, but I try to do it in a way and communicate that guys, this is about you.

00:48:08.100 I'm here to serve you.

00:48:09.580 I am a servant leader to use.

00:48:11.520 I think that's Dave Ramsey's quote maybe is I'm trying to serve you guys.

00:48:16.700 So how do I do that most effectively?

00:48:18.760 That's not by elevating myself as your boss, but by making myself, myself, you're at your service.

00:48:25.960 I'm not going to say servant, but at your service, that is my job.

00:48:29.940 And that's your job as a team leader, your client service and your team member service.

00:48:33.900 Yeah, and when we interview guys that are interested in becoming a team leader within the iron council, that's, to be frank, and I'll tell this to them, that's the tall tale sign if they're in the right mindset and if they'll be a good leader or not is why they're there.

00:48:49.660 What's the motive of being there?

00:48:51.940 And what's interesting, and this is the book that I was telling you about maybe a few weeks ago, Motive.

00:48:57.760 And one of the things I really like.

00:48:59.020 It's called Motive?

00:48:59.780 Is that what you said?

00:49:00.260 It's called Motive, yeah.

00:49:01.220 And one of the things I liked within that book that it talked about is good leaders are motivated to serve and put the team first and see the progress of the team.

00:49:12.840 Bad leaders are motivated to prop themselves up or how it benefits them.

00:49:17.860 The reason why that is good and bad is because if you're motivated by how it benefits you, you will be unwilling to do the difficult things.

00:49:27.200 But if you're motivated about the team winning, about serving the team, then you will have the difficult conversations.

00:49:35.880 You will do the difficult things because that motivation is substantially stronger than you just propping yourself up.

00:49:42.420 And that is what allows you to do those difficult things if your motives are accurate.

00:49:46.320 Well, and ironically enough, maybe not even ironically, is the more that you serve your team, the more you'll be served.

00:49:55.720 Yeah.

00:49:56.080 Like what is it that you want?

00:49:57.600 It's a byproduct instead of a focus.

00:49:59.640 Right.

00:50:00.180 So if I think about Order of Man and Iron Council and the Facebook group and everywhere that we're leading, I think, okay, well, what do I want?

00:50:07.700 Like granted, I want to help other people, right?

00:50:09.480 Like check, we got that.

00:50:10.740 But now let's talk about it realistically, pragmatically.

00:50:13.840 Like I've got to have some value from it too.

00:50:16.400 Otherwise, I wouldn't do it, right?

00:50:18.080 Yeah.

00:50:18.580 Like sometimes people say, oh, aren't you just doing this out of the quits?

00:50:21.460 Yeah.

00:50:21.900 People always say, and always a bunch of people say, well, aren't you just doing this out of the goodness of your heart?

00:50:26.380 It's like, well, actually, yes.

00:50:27.720 And also I like to make money and they're not at odds with each other.

00:50:30.960 It's okay.

00:50:31.740 So what do I want?

00:50:33.000 Well, I want an income.

00:50:34.380 I want a steady, comfortable income.

00:50:36.560 I want to create experiences for my family.

00:50:38.360 I want to be influential.

00:50:41.360 I want to have impact.

00:50:42.660 I want to know that the work that I'm doing is making an impact and making a difference in people's lives.

00:50:47.120 Like that's what I want selfishly.

00:50:49.360 And that's okay.

00:50:49.820 That's what I want.

00:50:50.780 So then I have to ask myself, what's the best way to get that?

00:50:54.440 Is it to push everybody else down and prop myself up where I don't belong artificially?

00:50:59.620 Or is it to serve and to lift people up and to give them tools and to make them capable and equip them with the conversations and resources they need and to empower men to step up and lead in their families and their communities?

00:51:13.220 Is that a better solution?

00:51:14.780 Well, of course it is.

00:51:15.560 And if I do that, then those who would be empowered and equipped by what it is I'm doing are going to be served.

00:51:22.340 And also they're going to remember that it was Ryan and his organization that did it.

00:51:27.320 And now I'm compensated, whether it's financially or maybe it's some recognition or just a feeling of knowing that I did that.

00:51:36.240 Right.

00:51:36.500 So it's the difference.

00:51:37.860 A sense of pride.

00:51:38.360 A purpose driven life.

00:51:41.260 Right.

00:51:41.560 So they're, they're actually, they're not at odds with each other.

00:51:45.920 Right.

00:51:46.320 Like your, your team's desires and your desires are not at odds with each other.

00:51:54.120 They're complimentary.

00:51:55.300 And remember that, remember that they're complimentary.

00:51:57.880 And the more that you can serve them, the better you're going to be served.

00:52:01.680 Yeah.

00:52:02.460 Yeah.

00:52:03.500 Love it.

00:52:04.420 Peter.

00:52:05.080 Oh, I already read Peter's question.

00:52:06.680 Nathan Hensler.

00:52:08.040 Do you use beard oil?

00:52:09.340 Are you strictly, I use a motor oil to keep my beard.

00:52:12.320 Awesome.

00:52:12.740 Kind of guy.

00:52:15.100 I use, I do use beard oil.

00:52:18.180 Yes.

00:52:19.400 Um, stay tuned on some beard oil announcements.

00:52:24.100 Cool.

00:52:24.820 And origin.

00:52:25.980 I'll just leave that out there.

00:52:27.640 I don't know if I should have said that second part, but just stay, just stay tuned.

00:52:31.240 Okay.

00:52:32.000 There you go guys.

00:52:32.740 And how do you stay tuned?

00:52:34.700 Wait, I hear silence.

00:52:36.080 No one's replying.

00:52:37.200 Say it out loud in your cars right now.

00:52:38.960 Yes.

00:52:39.600 Subscribe to the podcast or Facebook or iron council or YouTube or wherever.

00:52:45.360 Got it.

00:52:46.220 All right.

00:52:46.780 Let's take a couple more because we're winding down on time.

00:52:49.200 And in fact, I'm doing a live, by the way, guys.

00:52:52.220 Well, you're going to be late on this, but, um, stay tuned, get connected.

00:52:56.900 So you know about this next time.

00:52:58.200 Yes.

00:52:58.480 We are going to start doing some more Facebook lives and, uh, and doing some zoom calls for

00:53:04.420 the iron council and order of man, and also, um, some Instagram lives.

00:53:08.460 So make sure you're connected with us.

00:53:09.600 So you don't miss those things.

00:53:10.760 There you go.

00:53:12.980 Okay.

00:53:15.060 What question were we, Eric page, what type of things do you, uh, do to connect with your

00:53:20.020 daughter?

00:53:20.260 Uh, we do a lot of puzzles actually.

00:53:23.260 Like every morning we actually do a puzzle every single morning, without fail, without

00:53:27.760 fail.

00:53:28.260 We have a table set up in the, in the library and her and I sit down and we do puzzles.

00:53:33.160 Uh, we do Legos together.

00:53:34.600 She invited me to a tea party the other day.

00:53:37.380 Uh, sometimes we just go on a drink run and, you know, we just go and we just talk here.

00:53:42.400 And she, and, uh, she loves Dolly Parton, loves Dolly Parton.

00:53:49.260 Really?

00:53:49.860 Yes.

00:53:50.720 So I'll pull up, uh, I'll pull up Pandora or iTunes music and we'll put on Dolly Parton

00:53:56.700 and we'll rock out in the car as we go get a drink.

00:53:59.880 We do a lot of different things.

00:54:01.240 Some of them are like grand and elaborate, but most of the things that we do are very small

00:54:05.520 and simple and they're just done daily.

00:54:07.200 And we just enjoy our time and company together.

00:54:09.780 I love it.

00:54:10.880 Yep.

00:54:11.060 That's great.

00:54:11.540 All right.

00:54:12.880 Uh, Klaus Schmidt, do you guys have any plans to restock the order of man wallets?

00:54:18.380 I need one and he needs the order of man discount by showing his wallet to people.

00:54:22.280 So, yes.

00:54:23.000 So if you look at this right here, you can't really see it all that great.

00:54:26.740 That's nope.

00:54:27.400 That's not my writing, by the way.

00:54:28.900 Okay.

00:54:29.260 If you can see it, it's not my writing.

00:54:31.520 I just judged you.

00:54:32.200 It's my son's writing.

00:54:33.700 Oh, okay.

00:54:34.480 And yesterday, cause he manages the store.

00:54:36.400 You guys know that.

00:54:37.260 Yeah.

00:54:37.640 So he does a really good job.

00:54:39.140 Um, so anyway.

00:54:41.760 He went through, him and I went through yesterday.

00:54:43.820 That's inventory.

00:54:44.920 And we did inventory.

00:54:46.140 Yep.

00:54:46.660 And one of the things is on here.

00:54:48.320 You can see it, right?

00:54:50.300 Can you see it?

00:54:51.280 Yep.

00:54:51.540 Yep.

00:54:51.880 25.

00:54:52.320 So we're going to order 25 wallets.

00:54:55.440 Very, very small, limited run.

00:54:57.300 And just see how the second run does.

00:54:59.020 If they do well, then we'll consider ordering more.

00:55:01.260 So, uh, those will probably be here in, I would say two to three weeks.

00:55:06.860 Okay.

00:55:07.980 There you go.

00:55:08.640 Uh, class class, class, uh, you order Samuel, any tips for putting borders for toxic parents?

00:55:17.860 I want to respect them, but I don't want to get hurt.

00:55:20.840 The main problem is they don't acknowledge that they are harmful to me.

00:55:25.520 If they're harmful, then you just have to limit altogether.

00:55:29.980 Like if it's truly harmful, you just have to limit it.

00:55:33.460 You just don't, don't go, don't spend time with them.

00:55:36.000 Like it's not, it's, it's very simple.

00:55:38.360 The boundaries are very simple, right?

00:55:40.540 It's limiting time, limiting interaction, having rules that they understand.

00:55:45.840 Like if there's certain conversations, for example, that tend to be contentious and a

00:55:49.820 lot of animosity is brought up during those conversations, then maybe one of your rules

00:55:53.440 is we don't talk about that.

00:55:55.540 And if they refuse to adhere to your rule, it's your game, by the way, like they don't

00:56:01.100 get to make the rules.

00:56:02.000 This is your game.

00:56:03.900 This is not just relationships with parents.

00:56:06.200 This is relationships with, with a spouse or your children or coworkers or just people

00:56:10.840 in general.

00:56:11.420 This is your life is your game.

00:56:14.680 Therefore it is your rules.

00:56:16.540 And if people decide that they're going to play within your rules, then welcome.

00:56:21.780 You get to play my game.

00:56:23.500 If you're not going to follow the rules, you don't get to play my game.

00:56:28.100 That's how I look at relationships.

00:56:29.460 It's like, I have these rules established and they're not unreasonable, but I have these

00:56:34.200 rules established.

00:56:34.940 And if you play by the rules, then I embrace you and we enjoy our time together.

00:56:38.960 If you don't play by my rules, you are not welcome.

00:56:41.440 And we do not spend time together.

00:56:42.800 It's that simple.

00:56:44.160 And by the way, like I think about our relationship, Kip, I have rules, right?

00:56:48.300 And I haven't like communicated those rules to you, right?

00:56:51.960 But because we're, we're reasonable people and you also have rules and I need to adhere

00:56:57.140 to your rules as well.

00:56:58.660 Because if I don't adhere to your rules and you're not going to play the game, right?

00:57:02.100 So this is, so we each have individual games and we need to decide if our games overlap.

00:57:07.260 And if they do, we have a relationship.

00:57:08.980 If they don't, we don't.

00:57:09.960 Or we have limited interaction.

00:57:12.040 So decide what your rules are.

00:57:13.860 Like, what is it that pisses you off?

00:57:15.700 Or what is it that they do that you feel is harmful or disrespectful?

00:57:19.620 And say, this will not happen.

00:57:22.280 And, and look, here's the thing.

00:57:24.480 Like, let's say Kip, you and I have, we have our relationship, right?

00:57:28.000 And, uh, and you cross one of my rules or one of my boundaries.

00:57:32.360 Okay.

00:57:32.900 And I don't, I don't even know what that would be.

00:57:34.540 You can't even imagine what that would be, but let's just say you do.

00:57:36.920 Okay.

00:57:37.240 I'm going to communicate that to you.

00:57:40.980 Hey, Kip, this is the, I won't be treated like that or talk to you like that.

00:57:46.020 Or, Hey, this is not acceptable.

00:57:47.860 Yeah.

00:57:48.420 And now you have a decision.

00:57:50.260 Do you tow that line?

00:57:52.160 Because you want to maintain the relationship.

00:57:54.060 And if you do great problem solved, or do you say, well, I don't care.

00:57:59.040 In that case, uh, game over.

00:58:01.240 Go in my, in my rule book.

00:58:03.060 Exactly.

00:58:03.580 Yep.

00:58:03.840 So game over.

00:58:05.220 Right.

00:58:05.620 So, but you're going to make sure that you commute, like some things don't need to be

00:58:09.540 said.

00:58:09.780 Like, I haven't told you all of my rules for interaction because they're just kind of common

00:58:13.560 sense.

00:58:14.000 But if you happen to step over one of those rules, then it's my responsibility to tell you,

00:58:18.920 Hey, well, too far, Kip, too far.

00:58:22.120 You still want to play under these rules.

00:58:23.920 Cool.

00:58:24.700 Here's how this is going to go.

00:58:25.820 And then we can make our decisions from there.

00:58:27.500 Yeah.

00:58:27.900 And we have to point out the opposite of this.

00:58:29.960 What are you going to do?

00:58:31.100 Appease everybody.

00:58:32.100 Right.

00:58:32.580 Exactly.

00:58:33.100 You're going to run around and go, Oh, whatever.

00:58:35.380 Ryan and people are going to walk over you.

00:58:38.540 You're going to spend the rest of your life trying to make people happy.

00:58:42.060 Really?

00:58:43.040 That's not going to work.

00:58:44.100 No.

00:58:44.500 Right.

00:58:44.700 And to be honest with you, sometimes I need to be communicated that rule, right?

00:58:49.200 If I overstep bounds, there's an opportunity for me to learn and grow from Ryan saying,

00:58:53.220 Hey, no, that's not going to fly.

00:58:55.120 And this is why that causes me to reflect a little bit and go, you know what?

00:59:00.140 He's right.

00:59:00.760 I shouldn't be doing that.

00:59:01.680 I need to also adjust.

00:59:02.860 It gives me the opportunity to consider that for myself.

00:59:06.840 Well, and I'll give you an example.

00:59:08.200 Like, let's just, cause I think it's important.

00:59:09.840 We discuss this and then we'll kind of wrap things up for the day, but I'm trying to think

00:59:13.280 about our relationship, our friendship, and then our business relationship as well.

00:59:16.920 So, um, you know, there's, there's things like I may, I may have to, uh, I can't be

00:59:22.460 on a call, for example, or recording or, and so I'll ask you, like, I'll send a message

00:59:26.820 and I'll say, Hey Kip, can you, uh, can you host the call this week?

00:59:29.820 Or can you record solo this week?

00:59:31.760 And then you look at your schedule, right?

00:59:33.340 And you say yes or no.

00:59:35.000 Now, a lot of people would say, Oh yes.

00:59:37.300 And they would change everything around, right?

00:59:39.160 Like, Oh, I can do that.

00:59:40.440 And so they change everything around and then it comes at your expense, but you're actually

00:59:45.040 really good at saying, Oh, I can't this week because I have this call or I have this thing.

00:59:49.960 And so I'm not able to do that.

00:59:51.620 Look, that's not convenient for me, but it is something that I highly, highly respect because

00:59:57.220 it means that your schedule and your time is important.

01:00:00.040 And I have to respect that.

01:00:02.120 Yeah.

01:00:02.420 Not only do I have to honor it, but I respect the fact that you have a schedule and you honor

01:00:07.020 your, your schedule.

01:00:08.440 Yeah.

01:00:08.880 And, and what, not that you would do this, but some people, if you've been over backwards

01:00:14.120 and you said, Oh, I'm going to change my schedule, change my schedule.

01:00:16.860 You start establishing a relationship by which that person not probably consciously will

01:00:23.500 take advantage of it.

01:00:24.480 Yes.

01:00:25.000 They will say, Oh, well, why aren't you drop?

01:00:26.960 And then they have this expectation that you should be dropping anything at any time, whenever

01:00:31.500 they ask.

01:00:32.300 Right.

01:00:32.720 That's also not very healthy for either.

01:00:34.680 For either of you.

01:00:35.580 Yes.

01:00:36.640 Cool.

01:00:37.020 Well, let's think.

01:00:37.740 Don't do that to me.

01:00:38.660 Yeah.

01:00:38.880 Well, just move your schedule around and there won't be an issue.

01:00:43.020 All right.

01:00:44.100 We'll wrap up guys.

01:00:44.980 Yeah.

01:00:45.100 Let's wrap up.

01:00:46.160 Yeah.

01:00:46.380 We mentioned this early on the podcast.

01:00:48.340 You know what?

01:00:48.780 This is a great time.

01:00:50.860 We are virtual.

01:00:52.380 One hundred percent podcast, YouTube videos, the Facebook group, the iron council.

01:00:57.680 There is no reason for us not to be leveling up as men.

01:01:00.920 Uh, certainly for some of us where maybe we're not going into the office as much, or maybe

01:01:06.740 we're not even working right.

01:01:08.380 Due to the current state of things.

01:01:10.060 And so take advantage of that time.

01:01:12.100 Join us on Facebook.

01:01:13.580 That's Facebook.com forward slash order of man groups, forward slash groups, slash order

01:01:18.740 of man.

01:01:19.120 Holy cow. 0.89

01:01:19.920 I know.

01:01:20.320 Start that.

01:01:20.540 Start that part over again.

01:01:21.600 I started throwing in a forward slash and then I was like, oh, he's going to, he's going to give

01:01:25.280 you crap for the forward slash. 0.92

01:01:26.520 Facebook.com slash group, slash order of man, forward slash, same thing.

01:01:34.440 Um, or join us in the iron council.

01:01:36.320 Uh, this is a great opportunity for you to get virtually connected to like-minded men, um,

01:01:42.160 and get on the court.

01:01:43.120 I love that analogy of often we were spectators when we watch the game of life, unfortunately,

01:01:49.840 and being part of the iron council is, is getting out of the bleachers and joining the

01:01:54.600 game.

01:01:54.940 So, uh, to learn more about the iron council, that's order of man.com slash iron council.

01:02:00.880 Perfect.

01:02:01.640 All right, guys, we're going to wrap things up.

01:02:03.100 Had a great call.

01:02:03.740 Had a great discussion.

01:02:04.640 Answered a lot of good questions.

01:02:06.320 Answered some knockouts.

01:02:07.160 So good.

01:02:07.540 I'm just kidding.

01:02:08.220 They were all good today.

01:02:09.520 No, they were all pretty good today.

01:02:10.960 They were all good.

01:02:11.620 There was a few that I was, I didn't understand.

01:02:13.620 I don't know that book, but yeah.

01:02:14.840 Yeah.

01:02:15.060 Well, that's true.

01:02:15.660 But that was still a good question.

01:02:17.440 Yeah.

01:02:17.800 Uh, anyways, guys, keep the questions coming.

01:02:19.540 Connect with us.

01:02:20.120 Like Kip said, because we're going to be doing a lot more live on Instagram and Facebook and everywhere

01:02:23.600 else.

01:02:23.980 Uh, and that's it.

01:02:25.460 So we'll be back.

01:02:26.340 Uh, let's see Friday for the Friday field notes.

01:02:28.540 Uh, I already recorded it because I thought I was going to be out of town, but frankly,

01:02:32.020 I can't remember what I recorded on.

01:02:33.720 All the days are seeming to blend together, but it's amazing.

01:02:36.640 I know that.

01:02:37.460 Best one ever, ever.

01:02:38.620 All right, guys, we'll see you on Friday until then.

01:02:40.740 Go out there.

01:02:41.140 Take action.

01:02:41.880 Become a man.

01:02:42.300 You are meant to be.

01:02:43.500 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:02:46.440 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:02:50.460 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:02:53.580 We'll be right back.

01:02:55.060 We'll be right back.

01:02:55.540 iTunes.

01:02:58.000 The moment is open.

01:02:59.060 Thanks, everybody.

01:02:59.940 Thanks, everyone.

01:03:00.940 You are about to be right.

01:03:01.740 Thanks, guys.

01:03:02.020 Thanks, guys.

01:03:03.920 Thanks, guys.

01:03:03.940 Thanks, guys.

01:03:04.080 Thanks, guys.

01:03:04.940 Thanks, guys.

01:03:05.160 Thanks.

01:03:06.500 Thanks, guys.

01:03:06.900 Thanks, guys.

01:03:07.120 You are worth putting know when you're roads.

01:03:08.940 Thanks, guys.

01:03:09.480 Thanks, guys.

01:03:10.780 Thanks, guys.

01:03:11.080 And I'm Chris.

01:03:12.100 We'll be right back.

01:03:16.600 Thanks, guys.

Order of Man - March 18, 2020

Establishing Rules for the Game of Life, Dealing with Infidelity From a Spouse, and Handling a Lousy Boss ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript