Order of Man - Evolve or Die ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler,

00:00:27.380 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and this movement. I want to welcome you here

00:00:32.480 to the best show in podcasting for men. It is my goal to give you the tools and conversations

00:00:39.280 and resources, guidance, direction, insight, everything that you might need to become a

00:00:44.060 more capable man. And that's exactly what we're going to be talking about on this Friday Field

00:00:48.680 Notes. We're going to be talking about adapting, evolving, growing, expanding, improving, and

00:00:55.040 generally getting better. So we've got this show, your Friday Field Notes. We've also got

00:00:59.460 our interview show, which is me having conversations with some of the most successful men on the

00:01:04.820 planet. These are New York Times bestselling authors, scholars, athletes, warriors, entrepreneurs,

00:01:10.700 any man who's had a successful story and has some insight to share with us. And then of course,

00:01:15.300 we've got our Wednesday show, which is our ask me anything where we're fielding questions.

00:01:19.860 My co-host Kip Sorensen and I from questions from in the, uh, the iron council, which is our

00:01:25.280 exclusive brotherhood. And then also our Facebook group, which I think we're just about to crack 60,000

00:01:30.020 men over there. So needless to say, this is a great resource. And again, I'm honored that you're

00:01:34.320 here. Uh, I don't really have a whole lot of announcements as of the release of this podcast.

00:01:39.080 We're in the middle of our first order of man main event. Uh, it's going to be an incredible

00:01:45.000 weekend. We've got, I think 65, somewhere right in there, 65 guys coming out to spend the weekend

00:01:50.960 with camaraderie and competition and, and focusing on what we want to accomplish over the next 90 days.

00:01:56.800 It's going to be again, a very, very exciting weekend. Please stay tuned as we're going to have

00:02:01.560 dates for some spring events available here pretty quickly as well. Uh, outside of that,

00:02:07.480 make sure you check out my friends and show sponsors origin main. They do Brazilian jujitsu

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00:02:16.680 uh, is their new, uh, energy and cognitive enhancer. It's called discipline go it's in a can

00:02:24.320 and I like the flavors. It helps me build some clarity and focus as I want to do some of these

00:02:29.300 tasks and podcasting and the event and everything else that I've got going on, but they've got other

00:02:33.520 supplements as well. Their milk, which is their protein, their pre-workout called discipline. Uh,

00:02:39.040 what else? The super krill, the joint warfare, they've got it all. So check it out.

00:02:42.060 Origin, Maine as in the state, Maine origin, Maine.com. And then use the code order at checkout

00:02:47.120 or DER at checkout. All right, guys, enough of the announcements, enough of the lead up.

00:02:51.900 This one's going to be maybe a little shorter than it has in the past, but it's a very important

00:02:56.440 message. Uh, and it's one that I think, well, I know personally that I really didn't utilize in my

00:03:02.780 life, uh, for a very long time. In fact, I've probably only been thinking heavily about evolving

00:03:09.860 and growing and expanding, uh, over the past 10 years. Cause leading up to that point,

00:03:15.460 I really wasn't evolving. I wasn't growing. I wasn't getting better. I wasn't improving. And,

00:03:20.300 and the reason I titled this evolve or die is I don't quite literally mean you're going to die.

00:03:25.780 What I mean is that you might suffer some sort of emotional or intellectual or mental, uh,

00:03:35.240 or spiritual death. And I can tell you, I talk with men every single day who are walking around

00:03:42.340 like lifeless zombies, wandering from task to task to task. Uh, they don't have any clarity,

00:03:48.400 any purpose, any direction in their life. And frankly, for all intents and purposes,

00:03:53.940 they might as well be dead because they're walking around like, like the living dead.

00:03:58.820 And you might find yourself in that situation. You may be in that situation right now. And that's

00:04:02.840 the last thing I want for you because society needs men who aren't wandering around with no direction.

00:04:09.340 What we need is highly motivated, ambitious, dedicated, noble, capable men who are growing

00:04:17.560 and evolving and expanding and getting better and developing some sort of mastery towards a skill

00:04:23.240 that's going to serve them and their families and their businesses and their communities in all ways.

00:04:28.580 Now it's difficult because I think as human beings, we find the path of least resistance.

00:04:34.680 And often in the path of least resistance is us just doing the status quo, doing enough just to

00:04:40.400 get by at work, doing just enough to get by in a relationship and not go through a separation or

00:04:45.060 divorce, uh, doing just enough in the gym, maybe to not get too fat. And in a lot of ways, we're

00:04:51.500 playing the game of life in a way that, that isn't about success. It's playing not to lose

00:04:58.520 and we're taking it easy and we're coasting. And even if we've had some measure of success,

00:05:04.740 we're resting on our laurels, assuming that that's enough. And if it is enough, I can't help but think

00:05:11.620 why you're still kicking, why you're still existing. It's never enough for me. I want to continue to grow

00:05:18.520 and expand in all ways. And in order to do that, I'm going to have to adopt the mantra, evolve or

00:05:22.900 die, get better. Part of the hard part with this though, is that as you do start to walk down your

00:05:29.660 course and your path of self-development, getting better physically, getting stronger, eating the

00:05:34.700 right foods, uh, reading new books, listening to new podcasts, listening to this information,

00:05:39.360 joining the iron council, doing everything that you can to get better. Uh, you're going to have some

00:05:43.980 pushback. You're going to have some pushback from people who are close to you. People who have even

00:05:49.520 said that they want you to win people that have either literally said they want you to win or have

00:05:55.020 voluntarily signed on the dotted line and said, I will support you in your growth and your progress

00:05:58.880 along the way. IE your spouse, uh, close friends, employers, et cetera, et cetera. Coworkers.

00:06:05.620 These are people who should have you have your back. But unfortunately, as you begin to grow

00:06:10.040 and you begin to acquire new information and develop new skillsets, you're going to have

00:06:15.220 people that are going to push back on you. And I want you to understand this because I think it's

00:06:19.040 very, very easy for us to get bitter and be resentful and hold animosity towards these individuals

00:06:25.520 who seem like they're stunting our growth. I think for the most part that, that 90, 95, 99% of these

00:06:33.380 people, it isn't that they have ill will or, or don't want you to succeed. I don't think it has

00:06:40.560 anything to do with you at all. In fact, I think most people, including ourselves are pretty selfish

00:06:44.480 and think very little about other people. When you start to walk this path, the reason that people

00:06:52.580 push back on that is because your growth and your evolution and you improving and getting better

00:06:58.320 represents a threat to their own existence, right? We find people who are like us. So if we're

00:07:07.460 relatively successful in business, guess who we hang out with other people who are relatively

00:07:12.080 successful in business. If we're fat and out of shape and overweight and, and, and aren't exerting

00:07:17.880 ourselves physically, odds are that you're surrounded by people who are fat and overweight and out of

00:07:23.340 shape and aren't exerting themselves physically, that's comfortable to us. We kind of swim in the

00:07:28.940 same school, right? We, we, we find those people who make us comfortable with our own existence.

00:07:33.620 But if you want to grow and you want to evolve, then you're going to have to push yourself outside

00:07:37.160 of your comfort zone. You're going to have to look around, not only in your inner circle,

00:07:40.460 because you might be complacent there. You're going to have to expand that circle. You're going to have

00:07:45.280 to broaden your perspective. You're going to have to look to other individuals who you are inspired by,

00:07:50.500 who are doing things in a, in a more efficient, more effective, productive way than you currently

00:07:56.460 are. And if, if the shoe were on the other foot, meaning that, that you are the one that is watching

00:08:03.240 other people evolve, that's not comfortable, right? It's not comfortable to see that somebody else is

00:08:08.860 progressing faster than you. You have two choices. You can either ignore that. I guess you have three

00:08:13.420 choices. You can ignore that individual altogether. You can attempt to pull them down like the old

00:08:19.460 crab in the bucket mentality, or you can race to catch up. And that's what you're asking people

00:08:26.120 to do who are in your inner circle. As you start to develop and expand and grow, you're asking them

00:08:30.660 to catch up. And maybe these people don't want to catch up. And here's what you need to know about

00:08:34.700 this. You have no obligation to stop. You have no obligation or responsibility to slow down. Now,

00:08:42.920 I do think you have a responsibility and obligation in some cases to explain yourself.

00:08:49.280 For example, your wife, you may want to explain what you're doing and why. One of the things I hear

00:08:53.880 quite often with guys who join our brotherhood, the iron council is their wives initially, 0.99

00:09:01.860 not that they talk bad about it, but that they don't quite and fully understand it. And it represents

00:09:07.240 again, a threat to the status quo, which makes them concerned. And so they say things like,

00:09:12.620 Oh, your little man club, your little man organization. But what's really fascinating

00:09:16.460 is as these guys grow and develop, and we're holding each other accountable and we're doing

00:09:20.920 challenges and we're doing assignments. And these men who come into our brotherhood start to improve

00:09:25.620 their lives. Guess who sees that? Their wife. And as soon as their wife sees that it's a result of

00:09:32.280 them banding with other men who are motivated and ambitious and trying new things and growing,

00:09:37.040 and she begins to connect the dots between you being part of the quote unquote, little man group

00:09:42.580 or little man club and your improvement, you being a more capable husband and father and leader and a

00:09:48.980 patriarch of your home, she starts to connect those dots. And then she sees, Oh, okay, this makes sense.

00:09:56.200 This makes sense. And this becomes what my friend, Zach Evanish has talked quite a bit about the new

00:10:01.560 normal, the new normal. You have a normal right now. You have a baseline right now. So what I'd like

00:10:08.360 you to do is inventory your life in four key areas, yourself, personally, mentally, spiritually getting

00:10:16.980 right with yourself. How do you feel about who you are? How do you feel about what you've done?

00:10:22.860 Are there some inadequacies? Are there some confidence issues, some self doubt, some internal

00:10:29.720 dialogue that's destructive to who you are as a man? And if it is, that's all right. We need to

00:10:34.760 identify it because these are areas for growth and evolution in our lives. So that's number one.

00:10:40.860 I call it calibration, getting right with yourself, getting right with your mind, getting right with

00:10:45.720 your soul and really knowing that you do have purpose. And there is a reason that you're here

00:10:51.000 on this planet. There's a reason that you're alive. We want to help you connect to what that

00:10:57.460 is. So you have to continue to grow and develop because you can see so clearly that there's

00:11:01.220 something else meant for you. And we want to help you bridge that gap. So that's number one.

00:11:07.380 Number two, connections. I want you to look around and inventory your relationships and how do you

00:11:13.840 evolve? How do you expand? How do you grow? How do you position yourself into relationships that are

00:11:20.000 more advantageous for other individuals that are more advantageous for you? How do you evolve

00:11:24.420 current relationships by leveling those people up, by leading positively and effectively in their

00:11:29.800 lives? How do you get your kids to be more influenced by your positive behavior? How do you get your wife

00:11:36.820 to voluntarily follow you because you're somebody worth following? But also, also, how do you find other

00:11:44.780 people who are further down the path than you? Note, I didn't say better. And I didn't say that

00:11:52.180 deliberately. They're not better than you. They may just be further down the path than you. So you don't

00:11:58.220 need to be intimidated by these individuals thinking that they're better than you or they're

00:12:02.200 worth more than you. No, just realize that these are individuals that are further down the path, that

00:12:07.700 they have identified a skill set, that they have mastered that skill set, and it's improved and enhanced

00:12:13.200 their life to the degree that you want to improve and enhance your life. Don't be intimidated by that.

00:12:18.100 Be inspired by that. Then ask yourself, how do I surround myself with those individuals? What value do

00:12:24.140 I have to offer these other people? How can I make myself a man who these types of individuals want me in

00:12:32.380 their circle? So that's number two, connections. Number three, condition. If you're the same guy that you

00:12:39.700 were in high school or worse, then you're not evolving. You're not growing. You're not expanding.

00:12:46.200 You're withering away and you're dying. From the minute that you're born, it's a process of death.

00:12:52.540 But is it a downhill, a steady downhill decline and demise of who you are physically? Or is it a growth?

00:13:00.900 Is it an expansion? I'm in the best shape I've been in my entire life right now at 38 years old.

00:13:07.320 I thought my prime was at 18 years old. And here I am two decades later, stronger, bigger, faster,

00:13:15.000 leaner, more capable, not only when it comes to strength, but also skills like martial arts

00:13:20.360 and just understanding how to utilize my body and harness it as two things, a tool and a weapon

00:13:26.420 should I need it? Because I have a growth mindset as Carol Dweck talks about in her book.

00:13:34.120 I think it's called mindset, the new psychology of success. So if you haven't read that book,

00:13:40.800 make sure you check it out. So that's the third component is condition. How are you improving

00:13:45.800 physically? Are you getting the sleep, the nutrition, the exercise? Are you gaining more

00:13:51.680 mobility and more strength and conditioning and all of these things that go into being a more fit

00:13:57.340 and healthy human being? And then the last component of this that I want you to inventory

00:14:01.620 is contribution. Contribution is the way that you give back and the way that you add value to all of

00:14:08.340 your interactions, the way that you add value to your family, your business, your community,

00:14:12.680 inside the walls of your home, inside the walls of your business. If you're coaching, if you're

00:14:16.700 mentoring, if you're guiding, it doesn't matter what you're doing. How are you ensuring that the

00:14:21.760 place, the environment in which you find yourself is better off because you were there. This is a

00:14:26.500 legacy. Also, I want the world to be better than when I got here. I want my kids to be better off

00:14:34.220 because I was their father. I want my wife to win more because I was her husband. I want my clients

00:14:40.840 to win in my financial planning practice because I was their advisor. I want the men who are inside

00:14:46.020 of this, you who are listening right now, and also in order of man and iron council to be more

00:14:51.100 capable men because of the tools and the systems and the processes that we have created. So I'm

00:14:56.640 constantly looking for ways to make myself more valuable. One of the biggest issues that men run

00:15:01.780 across is their, their lack of confidence in themselves. And I've talked about it a million

00:15:06.760 times. Guys will say, well, I, you know, I, I'm just not confident. I don't know how to gain confidence

00:15:11.840 in myself and, and really just be happy with who I am. And my response is what makes you think you

00:15:17.080 should be happy with who you are. More often than not, these men can't come up with an answer to

00:15:21.880 that. And that's the problem. That's the problem. You don't get to just have confidence because you

00:15:27.560 feel like you deserve it or you want it, or it's been in doubt or, or it's a gift that you've been

00:15:31.960 born with. That's not confidence. It might be arrogance. It might be cockiness, but confidence is

00:15:37.680 genuinely earned and it's earned by facing battles that are meaningful and significant to you. And then

00:15:43.400 overcoming those battles and doing something that you didn't previously think

00:15:46.960 yourself capable of. That is how you develop confidence. That is how you set your path,

00:15:52.920 you on the path to evolving and growing and expanding and becoming better guys. These are

00:15:59.340 the things that I want for you. These are the things that I want for myself. We live in a time where

00:16:05.220 people continually dismiss and mock masculinity. There's a, a huge, huge problem, especially when we

00:16:13.780 begin to look at the, uh, what seems to me the increasing rates of mass murders and violent

00:16:19.940 encounters that are destructive and harmful, not productive and helpful. This comes from a society

00:16:29.520 because we have bred these individuals, a society that has completely dismissed what it means to be a

00:16:36.860 man. That instead of positioning men where they should be a leader in their family, their businesses,

00:16:44.260 their communities, their homes, and every environment in which they show, they'd rather pull those people 1.00

00:16:48.780 down off that mantle of masculinity. And it's our job to dismiss that idea, to represent the antithesis

00:16:57.140 of this weak, cowardly, pathetic male that society would have us be. And we do this by evolving. We do 1.00

00:17:04.560 this by expanding. I can't tell you how often I hear from guys who will say things like, well, what do

00:17:09.720 you expect? That's just what, what society wants from us. And there's nothing we can do about it. And

00:17:13.560 our hands are tied. And some guy said the other day, 50% of people won't really grow from this. It's

00:17:19.040 like, I don't care about any of that. I don't care about any of that. What I care about is

00:17:23.760 immediately me fixing myself, making myself more capable, improving, getting better, and then

00:17:31.060 expanding that starting within the walls of my home, into my neighborhood, into my community,

00:17:35.560 into my state, and even into the country and internationally through this movement.

00:17:41.040 But it starts at the lowest common denominator, which is myself. And guess what? Good news. You can

00:17:46.700 entirely control yourself. So when somebody says to me, well, society, blah, blah, blah, fill in the blank

00:17:51.780 with their excuse of choice, says something like that, I can dismiss that because I'm not too

00:17:56.180 concerned about what other people are doing. I know I have the greatest impact and influence when

00:18:00.620 I decide to evolve, when I decide to grow, when I decide to make myself more capable.

00:18:09.260 So don't rely on the excuses. Don't feed yourself the BS and tell yourself how society wants you to

00:18:15.880 behave and then acquiesce to that weak request. Instead, reject it. Dismiss it. Share the message,

00:18:27.340 the movement of reclaiming and restoring masculinity. Be this in yourselves. Grow, evolve, expand.

00:18:35.340 If you're the same guy that you were yesterday as you are today, you're doing something wrong.

00:18:41.480 And although you may not be in any sort of physical threat of death, you are certainly dying

00:18:49.280 mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, potentially even physically. I don't want that

00:18:58.200 for you. I want growth and I want life and I want vitality and energy and then ultimately productivity

00:19:05.640 for the things that are important to you, your family, your business, your community,

00:19:11.000 your career, the people in your circle. We do that by getting better, by improving, by expanding.

00:19:18.380 We focus on those four key areas. Again, they're calibration, connection, condition, and contribution.

00:19:25.740 When you inventory those spaces and you ask yourself and you commit to being ruthlessly

00:19:32.020 honest and truthful about where you fall on those things, you establish the foundation for

00:19:38.260 growth and expansion moving forward. Be honest with yourself, guys. Don't BS yourself. You can pay

00:19:44.520 yourself lip service, but deep down inside, you know when you're lying to yourself. And if you're

00:19:48.500 lying to yourself and you're not telling yourself the truth about how you show up and who you are and

00:19:52.680 how you're behaving and the potential that you're leaving on the table, you're doing yourself a

00:19:56.620 disservice. Don't sell yourself short. Be real about things so that you can improve, that you can

00:20:03.660 grow, that you can expand. And then as I part today, I want to tell you that I appreciate how

00:20:08.480 you guys show up. I get messages every day on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and emails and

00:20:14.220 texts and everything else from you guys who are saying what you've been able to accomplish in your

00:20:18.860 life in a very, very short period of time. And that's the beauty of implementing not only what I'm

00:20:24.140 talking about today, but what we talk about and have been talking about for the past four and a

00:20:28.080 half years, what we talk about and the actions that we take and the accountability that we have

00:20:32.660 in our brotherhood, the iron council. When you implement these simple, not easy, but simple

00:20:38.180 strategies that I share with you process or I should say progress starts to happen instantaneously

00:20:45.900 and it will happen for you. So make sure you band with us like you have. Make sure you subscribe

00:20:51.380 to the show. Connect with me on Instagram at Ryan Mickler. Share this episode, share this

00:20:58.480 podcast, share the movement. My goal is to mobilize millions and millions of men across the planet

00:21:06.300 who believe like we believe, who believe that they are the patriarch of their home and their

00:21:12.640 businesses and their communities who lead effectively with clarity and kindness and compassion and even

00:21:18.780 love, but do it in a way that's effective, that produces and drives results for themselves

00:21:25.500 and the people that inevitably we are called to serve as men. All right, guys, that's all I've got

00:21:31.160 for you. Again, we've got a crazy weekend here at the order of men headquarters with our first event

00:21:37.280 here in Maine. The main event is what we'd called it. So I'm going to get to that. I'll let you guys get

00:21:43.860 to your weekend. I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad that you're tuning in. I'm glad that you're

00:21:48.240 banded with us. We need more men in this fight. And it's my mission and has been my mission for the

00:21:52.700 past almost five years now to reclaim and restore masculinity. And we are making our dent and we will

00:21:58.540 continue to make a dent and we will continue to enlist and equip and mobilize the type of men that this

00:22:05.060 world needs. All right, guys, get out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for

00:22:09.980 listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you

00:22:15.260 were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - August 09, 2019

Evolve or Die ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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