Order of Man - Fatherless Epidemic, Doing Work for the Right Reason, and Ending Unhealthy Relationships ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is

00:00:26.900 Brian Mickler, the host and founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of

00:00:31.720 Men. Now this one for our Ask Me Anything is a little different than normal because right

00:00:37.660 about this time on our typical episode, you'd be hearing from Kip Sorensen instead of me.

00:00:42.220 But with our scheduling conflicts and me having to get a bunch of podcasts recorded before

00:00:46.960 my family and I head out on our adventure, our schedules didn't work out, but we didn't

00:00:51.180 want to miss an episode. So it's just me, which I know means it's probably not going to be

00:00:56.860 as good as it normally is when we're joined by Kip, but it is what it is. Now I will say

00:01:01.840 he sent me a bunch of questions here that we hadn't got to in the last couple of weeks.

00:01:05.500 I'm going to go through as many of these as possible and get these things answered for

00:01:09.780 you. So we'll probably just jump right into it. I will say if you are new, this is just

00:01:15.620 one of our three weekly shows. We've got this, the Ask Me Anything where we're fielding questions

00:01:20.100 from men of the order and also from our exclusive Brotherhood, the Iron Council. We've got 0.56

00:01:25.660 our interview show, which is released each Tuesday. And then every Friday is our Friday

00:01:31.440 field notes where you get to hear from me again. And some of my thoughts and ideas regarding

00:01:36.680 what it means to be a man and how we can make ourselves more capable as fathers and business

00:01:42.040 owners and community leaders and every other facet of life that we're showing up as. So

00:01:46.200 I appreciate you being on this journey. We need you here. We're glad you're here. And society needs

00:01:51.000 us to step up as men, which is what we're all about. All right, guys, enough of the announcements,

00:01:55.320 enough of the intro. I'm going to jump right into these questions. I don't know how much I have.

00:01:59.700 You'll probably hear me shuffling through papers because as I said before, Kip sent these to me,

00:02:03.420 but we've probably got, I don't know, maybe, maybe 20 questions or so. We'll get through as

00:02:08.340 many as we can. And hopefully I'm able to give you some insight and direction. And if not, well,

00:02:12.620 deal with it because you got to listen. So here we go. First one, Eric. Now these are from

00:02:17.120 Facebook. I think we got through all the iron council questions. These are from our Facebook

00:02:20.680 group, which is at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Kip would say backslash,

00:02:26.620 but it's just a slash. You'll find it. This one's from Eric Shepley. Number one,

00:02:31.720 I have an opportunity to purchase a franchise business. However, it would mean taking on a

00:02:37.320 significant amount of debt, roughly $200,000. He says, maybe it's a stupid question, but is the risk

00:02:43.700 of debt worth the reward revenue is projected to be $330,000 this year? Now, look, this is a tough

00:02:50.940 one because there's so many variables with this. I would say variable number one is, is this franchise

00:02:56.660 and the business something that you're even passionate about? Because if it is, then I think

00:03:00.880 it's more likely that the risk will work out and that it will be worth it. If it's something you just

00:03:05.960 want to make money with, yeah, it could work out. But if you're not excited about it, you're not

00:03:09.520 passionate about it. You may not be willing to put forth the effort and the work required to make

00:03:16.340 this thing a success. Now with the very limited information that I have here, debt of $200,000

00:03:22.100 revenue is projected to be $330,000 this year. Servicing debt on $200,000 is merely a drop in the

00:03:32.060 bucket. If your revenue is projected at $330,000 this year, of course, that depends on expenses and

00:03:38.880 overhead and some other issues that will come up and expenses that may come up. But on the surface,

00:03:45.300 yeah, it could, it could be, it could be valuable. It could work out. You want to make sure you get

00:03:50.920 favorable terms. But at the end of the day, I really believe that the first question that should

00:03:55.340 be asked is if this is something you're excited about, something that feels like is calling to you,

00:04:00.240 something you feel engaged in and something that will be meaningful to you. I would also talk with

00:04:05.040 franchise owners of this particular franchise and other franchise owners that may not be in

00:04:09.220 this line of work or in this business specifically and ask them what can be expected. Because I think

00:04:14.680 a lot of the times when we fail, it's simply because of unmet expectations. And if you have

00:04:20.760 a false sense of expectations going into this business, you might be teeing yourself up for,

00:04:26.680 for a loss and you don't want to do that. So try to eliminate as much risk as you possibly can

00:04:31.380 by knowing about the business, knowing what to expect, knowing what you're getting yourself into

00:04:35.700 before you actually pull the trigger on investing $200,000 into this thing, potentially more if

00:04:41.280 you're going to borrow the money to pay for it. All right. I hope that helps Eric. Number two,

00:04:46.520 Logan Engel. I'm probably going to slaughter some of these names as we go. And I like to say that Kip

00:04:51.560 just slaughters them, but I think it'll probably be me as well. And now you're going to see how bad I am

00:04:56.140 with, uh, with pronouncing names, but I think I got this one, right? Logan Engel. He says budget

00:05:02.480 friendly grocery list for healthy eating. Um, I, you know, I just, I just eat clean. Uh, so I eat

00:05:09.880 meat and vegetables and water. Uh, that's, that's pretty straightforward. I don't think it has to be

00:05:16.600 real complex. I don't think it has to be real expensive. Uh, you could even get into hunting,

00:05:22.020 which if you're hunting in your local area might even make it less expensive. Once you get past the

00:05:26.540 initial investment of firearm or a bow and that sort of thing and training and whatnot. Uh, but yeah,

00:05:32.980 I would just say meat, vegetables and water pretty simple. And I think pretty budget friendly. All

00:05:40.180 right. There you go. All right. Charles Ray Carroll, the third Charles Ray Carroll, the third says when you

00:05:45.460 and your wife separated, uh, what exactly did you do? Uh, when you worked on yourself, how did you make

00:05:51.660 yourself a better man? Uh, the divorce rate is out of control from a man standpoint. We need to be

00:05:57.560 a better version of ourselves for the next women or the same women. I think we need to hear it again.

00:06:03.420 I I'm going to actually take issue with one little comment here. It says we need to be a better version

00:06:07.380 of ourselves for the next woman or the same woman. You need to be a better version of yourself for

00:06:12.440 yourself. If you have the wrong intentions, the wrong motives, uh, when you were trying to improve

00:06:19.420 your life, what you're doing is you're setting yourself up for failure because you're hoping

00:06:24.280 that some external source like your wife in this case will approve of your behavior.

00:06:31.800 That's not a great position to be in because your behavior is contingent upon her approval,

00:06:37.800 which means that you're going to change it, right? You're going to, uh, alter or skew or warp

00:06:45.880 even the way you behave to get her to respond favorably to you. The better alternative. And

00:06:52.120 this is something I learned when I went through my separation is that you need to learn to become

00:06:56.560 a better version of yourself, not for other people, but for you because it feels right.

00:07:02.300 And it builds confidence and it grows your capabilities and your understanding and your

00:07:07.040 knowledge and your ability to thrive and succeed. Now, interestingly enough, and ironically enough,

00:07:12.600 when you do that, when you focus on yourself, things start falling into line. And more often

00:07:19.400 than not, women respond favorably to a man who's improving themselves because that man is proving

00:07:25.940 that he's capable of leading a woman or leading his family or leading in the community and the

00:07:31.340 business and all the other areas that he's called to serve. So I want to get that out of the way first

00:07:35.920 before I answer your, your specific question, because it's very, very, very important that you

00:07:42.640 do this for the right reason. Do not do it for her, do it for you and let the results, the chips fall

00:07:50.420 where they may. So with regards to your question, you said how, or excuse me, what exactly did you do

00:07:57.260 when you worked on yourself? And, uh, I did a lot of things. Number one is I started to listen to

00:08:05.980 CDs. I think it was very, very early. This is roughly 11 years ago, uh, in, in the podcasting

00:08:11.800 world. So I, wherever I drove, I was listening to CDs and one that I was listening to in particular,

00:08:17.540 one man I was listening to in particular at that point, uh, was Ed Milet because I was in a financial

00:08:22.500 planning business, one that he was involved with. And so I was listening to Ed Milet before he got

00:08:28.220 big into social media and started impacting and reaching millions and millions of people. He's got

00:08:33.160 some incredible, incredible information. So if you're not listening to him, I would highly suggest

00:08:36.660 that you do. Uh, but books on tape, success tapes, uh, Ed Milet, things like that. I was listening to a

00:08:43.100 lot of that. I hadn't done that before. That was my journey to self-improvement. I also started

00:08:47.020 picking up books. Uh, there's a lot of great books. If you go to my Instagram page at Ryan

00:08:52.220 Mickler scroll through there, I think three or four weeks ago, I made a post about 10 books that

00:08:56.860 every man should read and I've got them stacked up. I've got them all listed out. I think even for

00:09:01.640 you guys, so you can just steal that list, go out, buy each one of those books. I promise each one of

00:09:06.980 those books has something to share. There's a thousand books you can read, but those 10 specifically

00:09:11.940 are going to help you with regards to being a better man. So I did that. Uh, I also started

00:09:17.140 exercising and eating clean to Logan's point earlier. Uh, I started losing weight. I lost

00:09:23.240 about 20 to 30 pounds initially, and I've continued to lose that weight and keep it off over the past

00:09:28.060 decade now. Uh, but that was imperative. I mean, the, the skillset required to be successful when it

00:09:34.980 comes to nutrition and diet and exercise is the exact same skillset that's going to serve you in

00:09:39.600 other areas. And that's the beauty of figuring out how to improve in one capacity or one facet of your

00:09:45.420 life is that it naturally and inevitably spills over into other facets of your life.

00:09:51.220 What else did I do? I started working with some mentors in my business. My financial planning

00:09:56.340 practice was struggling at the time. And so I started to, uh, started to hire, not hire, but, uh,

00:10:02.360 get mentored by some guys in the office. And eventually they came on as, as partners. And we

00:10:07.360 actually still have great relationships. Uh, that was important because it helped me grow my business

00:10:11.540 and expand further than I had in the past and ultimately helped me turn that business into a

00:10:16.860 multi six figure business, uh, through mentorship and, and being humble enough to reach out for

00:10:23.120 help. I know a lot of us guys, myself included don't want to feel inadequate. And so we, we don't

00:10:31.200 reach out for help when we could actually use that help. And it would get us further down the track

00:10:36.400 if we would put ourselves in that situation, but we don't because that may be a damage to our

00:10:41.440 fragile little ego. So there it is. Um, I picked up some hobbies and things like that, but generally

00:10:47.860 that's, that's what I did. And I hope it helps. Um, again, do it for the right reason. That's the

00:10:52.280 message I want you to take away. All right, let's move on to the next question. Mark, uh, Knobloch. I,

00:10:58.040 I think Knobloch is how I would pronounce that again. You're going to hear me butcher these names.

00:11:01.360 I'm sorry, guys. I apologize. If you want me to pronounce them right, have easier names or

00:11:05.840 something. I don't know. Anyways, Mark says, uh, you've talked about manhood rituals for your sons

00:11:11.320 in more than one podcast. And I've really been inspired by them. Uh, while I agree that it takes

00:11:16.260 a man to bring a boy into manhood. And I know for a fact that my wife needs to do all the heavy 1.00

00:11:21.580 lifting to crown my girls as women. Isn't there one or two ways that as a presider provider and 1.00

00:11:28.200 protector, a father can help validate his daughter's femininity with a ritual? Is there

00:11:34.420 anything you and Tricia or Kip and Asia are doing or planning on doing for your daughters?

00:11:40.620 This is a good question. Um, and frankly, one that I have not given an in-depth thought into as far as

00:11:47.180 what we could do specifically for a ritual. My daughter is still pretty young. Uh, but yeah, I,

00:11:51.640 I definitely think there's ways to, uh, validate or encourage and foster a daughter's femininity. 0.98

00:11:58.720 Number one is to celebrate it and be encouraged by and show her, uh, positively respond to, uh,

00:12:06.200 when she's, when she's behaving like a little lady and a young woman. I think that's one way you can 0.99

00:12:11.720 do it. But I also think there's crossover to the things that I teach. My boys aren't necessarily

00:12:15.920 exclusive to my boys, self-reliance, independence, wisdom, discernment, being able to be a protector

00:12:22.900 of, of herself and himself. These are all both very important for not only my boys, but for my

00:12:29.560 little girl as well. So I'll think on that a little bit more. Um, I did a couple of podcasts

00:12:35.080 several months ago. One was, uh, I think it was called 10 steps to raising Kings. And in the following

00:12:40.640 week I did 10 steps to raising Queens. So you can go back and listen to each one of those to get

00:12:45.760 10 specific thoughts on each one of those regarding, uh, raising, raising boys and girls.

00:12:51.720 Hope that helps. Good question. I like that idea. All right. Jorge Figueroa says, how do you end

00:12:58.280 unhealthy friendships forthrightly and honorably? Well, first I would say, Jorge, I really appreciate

00:13:05.320 you saying forthrightly and honorably, uh, because you don't want to forsake these things. And I'm not a

00:13:10.060 big proponent of the, the burning bridges thing, you know, where you burn everything down to the ground

00:13:15.100 behind you. I think there's ways to realize that some relationships are not healthy, that they're

00:13:20.000 toxic or destructive and damaging. Uh, but that doesn't mean you need to be an asshole. That doesn't

00:13:24.640 mean you need to blow up somebody's universe or, or completely dismiss these individuals. And so I think

00:13:30.940 that the way that we do things is as important, maybe if not more important than what we're actually

00:13:38.560 doing because of the way that we do it will last significantly longer than I think what we actually

00:13:44.120 do. So I really appreciate you bringing that up. Uh, what do you, how do you do it though? Uh, I,

00:13:49.680 I think number one is you take an inventory of your friends and close acquaintances and family members.

00:13:55.380 And I would say short of making a list of naughty and nice, if you will, uh, I would really inventory

00:14:03.060 and ask yourselves, are these people in my life, people that are edifying me, uh, that are uplifting

00:14:09.980 me, that are helping me better, be better and grow and challenging me to, to do better things in my

00:14:14.900 life, or are they hindering my growth and performance? And it sounds like you may or maybe

00:14:19.100 already have an idea of some friends or, or people in your life who are, are hindering this. But what I

00:14:25.380 would try to do initially is not necessarily just reject these people altogether, but just fill up more

00:14:31.260 of your time with the individuals who fall on the side of growth and expansion and progress and

00:14:35.940 positivity. And I think what will inevitably happen is that as you focus more on the positive people

00:14:43.020 and the people who are uplifting you and challenging you to be better, I think a lot of these other

00:14:48.000 relationships will drift away quietly into, into the night, if you will. Um, if you need to be a little

00:14:55.320 bit more assertive than that, I would just be truthful. Hey, look, man, I, I, I, let's say I'm talking

00:15:01.220 with you, Jorge, and not that this would necessarily be the case, but just as an example, Hey man, you

00:15:06.060 know, I've, I've, I've really tried to offer my friendship and tried to help. And it seems like

00:15:10.020 every time we talk, you know, you're negative or, uh, you're, you're playing games or, you know,

00:15:16.000 you, you haven't been there for me as often as, as I need. And I feel like this is a one-way

00:15:20.440 relationship. And so, you know, I'm just not going to be able to do as much as, as I have in the past.

00:15:25.240 So I appreciate what, who you are. I appreciate, you know, how we've had a friendship in the past,

00:15:30.640 but this is what I'm doing. This is the direction I'm going. Oh, and by the way,

00:15:34.680 if you want to come on this path with me, please do. But if you're not interested in coming on the

00:15:39.740 path, I understand. And we'll part ways and wish each other well and, and, and hope for the best.

00:15:46.860 Now that's a hard conversation, especially with somebody you care about that you're kind of

00:15:51.160 rejecting or dismissing in a way, but these are the types of conversations that men have.

00:15:56.000 And the more that you can open your mouth and share your thoughts and be honest and forthright

00:16:01.280 and honorable, I think the more successful you're going to be not only in relationships,

00:16:05.320 but every facet of life, because you're an assertive individual who people admire, respect,

00:16:11.840 trust, and look up to. And trust is a big component. I know a lot of people out there who lie,

00:16:18.720 and I say positively lie. What I mean by that is make themselves out to be better or happier or,

00:16:25.320 or grander than maybe they really are. And those aren't truthful people either.

00:16:30.080 Those are people that you can see right through their BS. And when you actually need the truth,

00:16:35.600 you can't turn to that individual because they're going to make things sound better than maybe they

00:16:41.280 really are. So being truthful, isn't about always being happy, go lucky. And everything is wonderful

00:16:47.380 and believing that, you know, in magic and fairy dust and all this stuff. It's, it's being real

00:16:54.460 talking about the, the, the things that are going well, the things that are not going so well

00:16:59.100 and being truthful with yourself and with other people. Those are the kinds of people I want in

00:17:03.260 my life. So I hope that helps. Hope that gives you some insights. Uh, Fred Boatier says,

00:17:08.540 here we go. I get this question all the time. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

00:17:14.120 I think I'm supposed to say European or African or something. I get this, I get this question

00:17:19.660 every week. I get this question. So I appreciate you asking the question. There you go. I don't

00:17:26.280 know. Is it European or African? I think that's what I'm supposed to say. All right. Enough of that. 1.00

00:17:30.460 Peter Wesson says, uh, what are some ways that we as men can avoid and annihilate being needy with

00:17:36.620 women? Don't, don't be needy. Try to figure out ways to get what you need outside of a woman. 1.00

00:17:43.840 Now, look, having women in our lives is, is important. And I love having my wife in my life. 0.87

00:17:49.400 And there's times that, that I wouldn't say needy, but that I want to be around her because I enjoy

00:17:54.960 the femininity. I enjoy her presence. I enjoy the discussions. I enjoy the intimacy and the

00:18:00.200 physicality. I enjoy that, but I can also get my fix of relationships and physical, uh, exertion and

00:18:11.060 competition and aggression and the other things that I need in my life and outside resources.

00:18:15.440 And by the way, the more that you are needy with women, the less attractive you are to women 1.00

00:18:20.500 because women aren't interested in somebody who needs them. Women need men, but they don't want to 1.00

00:18:26.380 be needed all the time. It might be cute for like a week. And then it's exhausting because what you're

00:18:34.680 actually asking your women to do is to provide all of the energy to the relationship because you

00:18:40.820 aren't man enough to find a way to provide your own source of energy. So what's the best way to do

00:18:46.300 this, to go out into the world, not forsake your women, but to go out into the world outside of her 0.63

00:18:53.020 and find ways to be around other men, find hobbies and activities and interests, find things that are

00:18:59.380 just for you. Go out into nature, uh, get into jujitsu, uh, compete, pick up, do a pickup basketball

00:19:07.000 game or a tournament or night that you do, or a bowling night. I don't, I don't care what it is.

00:19:12.240 Reading books, just finding a place in your house. That's your domain that you can just go and

00:19:17.080 meditate and get lost in, in thought and, in books and scripture and all the things that you find

00:19:24.400 valuable. So I know it's, you got, you've got to train yourself because for a long time,

00:19:30.360 we've, we've relied on women from the time that we were little boys, right? The first thing that 0.98

00:19:36.120 we were doing is our mom put her boob in her mouth, right? And, and that's where we got nourishment 1.00

00:19:41.600 from. So we quite literally and figuratively needed women in our lives. And some men have never,

00:19:49.960 never grown out of the need for a mother figure. Go out into the world, be around the men,

00:19:58.680 find men who uplift you and edify you and support you and challenge you in good and positive ways.

00:20:04.400 And then you can come back into the relationship and get what you need from a woman and she can get 1.00

00:20:10.520 what she needs from you. This is reciprocal, but if you're not providing anything to the

00:20:14.640 relationship, quite frankly, there's no reason to have you around. You've got to go get it or

00:20:19.060 manufacture it from outside sources and then bring it back into the relationship and be valuable

00:20:24.600 in the life of your, your wife or girlfriend or whatever it may be. All right. Hope that helps

00:20:29.860 Peter. All right. Greg says, Greg Schultz, uh, tips on motivating a 10 year old son. Excuse me.

00:20:35.780 Anyway, he, uh, he recently asked for the next two books in Jocko's warrior kid series.

00:20:41.140 Uh, I suggested he either a do some work to earn the money or B memorize the nine points of the

00:20:47.920 warrior kid code a week later. He has done neither, but still asking for the books. Uh, let's see.

00:20:53.860 This isn't a one-off scenario. He wants me to give him stuff, but at the slightest resistance,

00:20:59.320 he bails on a goal. I think this is actually very common. Um, my, my sons deal with this. My daughter

00:21:04.880 deals with this. Uh, would you probably deal with it? I've dealt with it. Of course. Uh,

00:21:09.140 it's just a little lack of motivation, a little lack of discipline. I think you're doing a good

00:21:13.220 job here, Greg. One thing I say is, is that it sounds like you're doing this in other facets of

00:21:18.080 your life. So you're not rolling over. Uh, but you might want to check with mom too, and see if she's

00:21:22.500 rolling over on some of this stuff because he might be getting his way. And he thinks that the way to

00:21:27.300 get it is to ignore, uh, whatever it is long enough. I would also say for a young child,

00:21:33.120 10th, fairly young, uh, that you have him do something that he enjoys doing. If you're going

00:21:40.440 to ask him to do chores, for example, I mean, I realized that you got to do chores and there's

00:21:44.440 things you have to do around the house, but he's not going to be real motivated to do that.

00:21:48.400 But if you find something, maybe it's baseball game, a baseball or video games in some capacity

00:21:54.000 or, or being outside or going on hikes or, or hunts or whatever, maybe there's something that

00:21:58.880 you can do that allows him to earn his keep and earn his way to these books. Um, I mean,

00:22:06.700 if he's really liking the warrior kid series, like they actually talk about that in, in, in the books

00:22:11.100 themselves. So tie it back into that. Uh, I would also say if there's a way for you to get involved

00:22:15.460 and do something together, maybe he wants to do that. Maybe he wants to be with you and he wants

00:22:19.900 to find a way to, to focus on some of these things together. And that might keep him more motivated

00:22:24.840 as opposed to just dismissing him and writing him off and just telling him to return when he gets

00:22:30.220 his, his things done. A couple of thoughts for you, but, uh, yeah, great books. Um, Jocko's put

00:22:35.980 together a very, very powerful, uh, series. I think he just came out with his third book, I believe

00:22:40.840 in the warrior kid series. And you guys should definitely check it out. All right. Next Paul

00:22:44.940 Ivy says, do you ever get called names like racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe, misogynist,

00:22:50.660 chauvinist, et cetera, for espousing a return to true masculinity? If so, how do you respond to

00:22:56.000 those and other inflammatory accusations? The answer to the first question is yes, I get that

00:23:01.160 quite a bit. The answer to the second question is I don't respond. That is the appropriate response

00:23:07.540 is I don't need to get engaged in that. Like if somebody thinks I'm a racist, um, after seeing what

00:23:14.580 we do or misogynist after hearing a podcast, I, I have to assume that they haven't heard what

00:23:20.560 we're doing, that they aren't truly listening. And rather than listening and investing a little

00:23:27.160 time into learning more about what we're doing in this return to genuine masculinity, uh, they'd

00:23:35.080 rather attack and belittle and mock and put down. And I'm just not interested in gauging. I've got so

00:23:40.380 many individuals who are uplifted and edified and magnified through the work that we're doing.

00:23:46.580 And I'd much rather focus on those individuals, but I don't have anything to, to defend. You know,

00:23:52.840 somebody is going to call me a sexist. Oh, okay. Well that, I mean, that's your prerogative, but

00:23:57.360 that doesn't impact me. It doesn't affect me. It certainly doesn't describe me accurately.

00:24:02.120 And so I, I just don't care. I write it off and move on to the people who are inspired by what we're

00:24:07.440 doing. Don't get tied in. Don't get pulled down into the mud. That's what, I mean, guys do that all

00:24:12.360 the time. Don't get sucked into it. Just know that there's people who don't agree with you.

00:24:16.380 Know that there's people who don't know how to communicate. Know that there's wounded and

00:24:19.380 damaged people out there who are hurting in their own right for whatever reason. And

00:24:25.080 let them, let them do their thing. I mean, it just doesn't affect you. All right. David Hale.

00:24:31.500 He says he started listening in January and just joined the Facebook group. I'm a student who's

00:24:35.760 found the woman I want to marry. I'm struggling with whether I should wait until we are both out of

00:24:40.840 school before getting married or pull the trigger. Now that we both finished school next year,

00:24:46.160 my reservations are in part to be able to provide for a family before I start one, but would love

00:24:50.140 your input. I'm, I'm actually neither here nor there on that. You know, if, if, if you guys have

00:24:54.900 the relationship where you feel like you are at least mature enough to make that level of commitment

00:25:00.080 and that she is, and that there's no red flags that need to be addressed prior to you guys engaging

00:25:04.200 and eventually getting married, then I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I also think you

00:25:08.940 need to be very clear on how this is going to work and where you're going to live and where the money's

00:25:13.020 going to come from and certainly figure out how she is with money. Like what's her student loan 0.80

00:25:17.160 debt situation look like? Does she know how to spend, uh, to not spend, I should say, uh, figure

00:25:22.100 out all of these little things. What does she want for a family? Where does she want to move? What does 1.00

00:25:25.860 she want to do with work? Does she want to stay at home? How many kids does she want to have? 1.00

00:25:30.160 You don't want to rush into this. Too many guys rush into it because they're in love or the sex is good

00:25:36.540 or something. And I'm not saying that, that you guys are necessarily engaging in that, but these are reasons

00:25:40.440 why guys rush into marriage. Don't rush into it. And I'm not saying that by getting married in college

00:25:45.860 that you're rushing into it, just be aware of some of the things that are out there and really try to get

00:25:50.640 to know this woman and figure out if you guys are compatible from a level of, of what your shared

00:25:56.380 objectives and goals and pursuits and visions for the future are. And if they are, then, you know,

00:26:01.480 maybe it's time to make that commitment. Now, one thing I will say that I, that I don't necessarily

00:26:06.880 agree with. Everybody's of course, welcome to make their own choices is that I don't think it's right

00:26:11.660 to bring a kid into the world when you're in college and you're full-time. I mean, you're,

00:26:16.400 you don't have the money. You don't, you're not financially mature enough. You don't have the

00:26:20.500 resources to provide for this child emotionally. You're already beat up because you might be going to

00:26:24.140 school full-time and working. Uh, you're in a marriage, which is another difficult thing at times.

00:26:29.240 I just don't, I don't think bringing a child into the world while you're finishing college is a good

00:26:35.840 idea. Now I know that there's millions of people who have done it and a lot of them have been very,

00:26:39.940 very successful. And if that's the case, I congratulate you, but I don't think that's the

00:26:44.440 appropriate time to add unnecessary stress into the mix in environment. It's just a year. So if you feel

00:26:53.180 like getting married is the right thing, I wish you the best. Uh, but I would be very hesitant

00:26:58.980 on the child thing. That's not even what you're asking. I'm just telling other people. All right.

00:27:03.420 All right. Robert Farmer, how do you choose a quality financial advisor to work with? Uh, what

00:27:08.580 are characteristics to look for or avoid? Well, I would first and foremost, I would ask, and I'll

00:27:14.080 give you this disclaimer. I was a financial advisor for roughly 10 years prior to starting

00:27:18.880 order of man. And I, you know what, honestly, I've fallen on both sides of, of the equation when it

00:27:24.480 comes to whether I'm a good or not so great financial advisor. And of course I've seen both

00:27:29.360 sides of the spectrum. I would say first and foremost, ask successful people who they're

00:27:34.720 using. That's number one, find people in your life who are financially successful and ask them

00:27:40.220 who they're using. Because what you're trying to do is duplicate and replicate, uh, results from

00:27:45.200 individuals who are where you want to be. So ask them who they're using. Uh, number two, when you sit

00:27:50.360 down with an advisor, you're interviewing that advisor and you're not grilling him necessarily

00:27:54.280 or her, but you're asking great questions like, how do you get compensated? What is your investment

00:28:01.240 philosophy? What would you do for us? What have you done for other individuals? What are your

00:28:07.420 expectations of this relationship? How do you follow up with your clients? These are five or six or seven,

00:28:14.440 whatever it was, great questions that you can ask a financial advisor that will help you

00:28:19.360 understand if this person's going to do what's in your best interest. Also be careful with the term

00:28:24.260 financial advisor. Are they a certified financial planner? Are they a financial advisor? Are they an

00:28:30.060 insurance salesman who happens to offer investments in addition? Like what is it exactly

00:28:35.620 that they do and how do they get paid? Do they get paid on a commission? Do they get paid by you for

00:28:42.820 managing assets? Not that one way is necessarily wrong or right, but based on what you're trying to

00:28:48.740 accomplish, it might be. So you want to interview this financial advisor, figure out if they're

00:28:53.500 going to have your best interest at heart, ask the people who are successful, who they're using and

00:28:57.160 what they like about their current financial advisor and, uh, and go from there. I hope that helps.

00:29:03.760 All right. Who do we got? Max Naquan Oquendo. I may have butchered that. Max Naquan Oquendo.

00:29:09.340 I hope I didn't. We'll see. He says, did you ever have trouble getting up in the morning? And if so,

00:29:15.460 what strategies did you use to help you wake up earlier? Looking to seize the day as early as

00:29:19.160 possible, but my internal clock is all screwed up. Don't say that. Don't say that your internal

00:29:24.360 clock is all screwed up. Maybe it is, but you're giving validity to it. Instead, rewrite the programming

00:29:34.080 because the programming right now is that it's all screwed up and that's your excuse. So get rid of

00:29:40.120 that first. Maybe it's not screwed up. Maybe you just need to rewrite it. And you're going to rewrite

00:29:44.720 it by saying that you Max are an individual who gets up early and gets things accomplished that I

00:29:50.960 get more accomplished in the first two to three hours of the morning than most people do all day.

00:29:55.560 That is now your new programming. Not my internal clock is screwed up. Don't focus on that.

00:30:01.180 I understand looking to seize the day as early as possible. I get that. What I would suggest that

00:30:06.380 you do very simply set your alarm. Of course, you're, you might be in the habit of doing that,

00:30:10.920 but you might also be in the habit of hitting that snooze button, refuse to hit the snooze button,

00:30:15.120 put the phone somewhere else where it's hard to get to, where it'll just keep blaring in your ear.

00:30:19.020 If you don't, if you don't touch it, but don't hit the snooze button. And the other thing that I

00:30:24.420 would say is that you've got to do some evening planning, because if you don't do some evening

00:30:28.580 planning, it's going to be very early to easy to get up early in the morning and wake up and think

00:30:34.680 to yourself, Oh, you know what? I don't know what I'm going to do for my workout. I don't really

00:30:39.900 have anything to do this morning. It's dark. You know, I don't want to get my clothes out.

00:30:44.540 I'm in this warm bed with this beautiful woman, my wife next to me. I'm not, I'm not doing this

00:30:49.060 today. That's easy. But if you plan out the night before by having in my situation, I ha I do

00:30:56.060 CrossFit. So I know what the workout is before the morning comes. I already know what it is.

00:31:00.940 I know what the plan is. I've got the system in place to do it. I have the books I'm going to read.

00:31:05.440 My water is set out. My pre-workout is set out. It's in the fridge. I've got my clothes. My workout

00:31:11.740 clothes are out sitting out just underneath my closet. So all I have to do is get up, brush my

00:31:17.200 teeth, stretch out a little, drink my water, drink my pre-workout and put the clothes on and boom,

00:31:22.040 I'm hitting the ground running. So the answer to your question, Max, is to have a plan and a

00:31:27.020 strategy in place that eliminates barriers and obstacles to you getting up and getting after

00:31:35.200 the day, the very first thing. So there you go. All right. Eric page says, what types of financial

00:31:41.320 records should I keep? And for how long example tax records, all years or all years or last five

00:31:46.300 banking statements, one year of monthly paper statements or more, you know, I don't, I don't

00:31:50.420 know. With regards to your investments, I would keep anywhere from one to three years of records.

00:31:56.340 I also keep those digitally tax records. I keep three to actually keep five years on tax records.

00:32:02.960 I think a better resource for this, Eric would be to talk with your either your financial planner or

00:32:09.580 your attorney or a CPA. I've also got some other requirements for paperwork I need to keep because

00:32:15.040 I was in the business. But I don't think documents need to be held longer than three to five years,

00:32:21.040 but it's going to vary on what the document is. Okay. Max Panis says, what's your advice on teaching

00:32:27.640 young kids about money and earning for doing chores and working around the house, family bank.

00:32:32.960 Uh, do you have any programs or resources, any ideas for fostering entrepreneurship?

00:32:38.240 Yeah. I mean, I, I think it's important to talk about money and too many people don't talk about

00:32:42.140 it. Too many parents don't, they don't want to have that conversation. But one of my kids asked me

00:32:45.600 about, you know, how did I buy my truck or how much did I pay for it? Or are we going to take a loan

00:32:50.480 out for the house? In fact, a couple of months ago, my oldest boy said, he came to me one morning.

00:32:55.580 He's like, dad, I've been thinking about something. I said, yeah, what is it? He said, I don't,

00:32:59.480 I don't think you should borrow money for the house in Maine. And I said, okay, tell me why.

00:33:04.060 And he's like, I don't think it's a good idea because then you're going to have to pay the bank

00:33:07.220 back. And if you can't, for whatever reason, then they'll take our house. I said, okay, well,

00:33:11.400 that's, that's good. Let's talk about that. And we had a very meaningful discussion about

00:33:15.460 how loans work and how mortgages work and how much interest. And we were driving down the road one day

00:33:21.280 and there was a little cash advanced loan place on the side of the road. And I said, you see that place

00:33:26.120 right there? And he's like, yeah. I said, you'd be very careful of places like that.

00:33:29.280 And I explained to him that if you, if you need a hundred bucks and you go in there,

00:33:33.020 they're going to give you a hundred dollars, but then eventually you're going to have to pay him

00:33:35.600 120 or 150 back. He's like, well, that doesn't sound like a good idea. A good idea. I said,

00:33:40.460 that's exactly right. That's why we, we want to get ourselves in a position where we don't need to

00:33:44.380 borrow money from other individuals and they can rake us over the coals. So have these types of

00:33:49.020 discussions, have these conversations. Another thing that we're doing is a lot of you guys know this

00:33:54.660 already because you've bought stuff from the store, the order man store that is. And, and my son,

00:33:59.700 my oldest son, and actually my second son is helping out periodically when, when his older

00:34:03.680 brother can't step in, uh, he's, he's shipping orders and I pay him per order shipped. So he

00:34:09.880 understands well, the value of working, uh, the value of money, how it works. And he'll actually

00:34:15.880 every week he'll, he'll come to me and he'll say, dad, can you tell me how many orders I shipped?

00:34:20.040 Because then he can tell how much money he made. And then we've got a bank account for him. We talk

00:34:24.340 about tithing and we talk about savings and we talk about discretionary spending. These are the

00:34:28.960 conversations we're having, just like we're talking about schoolwork or how to swing the baseball bat

00:34:34.800 or any other conversations that we're having. These are just as important, if not more important than

00:34:38.840 some of the other trivial, trivial matters. Uh, so yeah, have those conversations. One thing that he did

00:34:45.500 not too long ago, which I was, I was so proud of is that he, uh, he came to me and he's like,

00:34:52.360 Hey dad, I know that we're paying for these boxes. And I said, yeah, he's like, I wonder if, uh,

00:34:58.200 I wonder if we can find boxes for cheaper. I said, we might be able to. He's like, well, if I did,

00:35:03.400 if I found boxes for cheaper, would you pay me that money instead of paying for the boxes? Like,

00:35:09.880 would you pay the difference? Like he came up with his on his own. And I said, well, I'll tell you what,

00:35:14.440 I won't pay you the difference, but I'll pay you half of the difference. So that way I'm saving

00:35:18.600 money and you're making more money. And it's not creating any extra work for us. Uh, after we

00:35:24.040 figure out how to find cheaper boxes, he's like, okay, that's a good deal. So we implemented that.

00:35:28.520 I want to reward him for that. I want to help him see that having good ideas and being creative,

00:35:33.780 saving businesses money is a good way to increase your value. So these are all conversations that we're

00:35:39.360 having. Uh, but as far as programs or resources, yeah, I don't really have one. Uh, we,

00:35:44.260 we just kind of work it into what we're doing. Now, one other project we did was called the

00:35:47.960 cherry picker project. We did this for the last two or three years. Uh, we've got an old cherry

00:35:52.220 tree here in our backyard and they wanted to make a, uh, him and, uh, my, my second son wanted to make

00:35:59.020 a big stand for the yard. And I said, okay, yeah, we can make a stand. So I went to home Depot and,

00:36:03.480 and I bought all the lumber and the paint and screws and everything else that we needed.

00:36:07.880 And me and the boys built, built the stand. And I said, okay, guys, so the stand cost us $150.

00:36:14.860 That's how much the material was. So you need to pay me $150. And once it's paid off, then you can

00:36:21.780 profit on, on the rest of what you earn. And I said, so what I'd like is for every bag of cherries

00:36:27.040 that you sell. And I think they were selling them for five bucks. I said, I want you to give me a

00:36:30.960 dollar until they're paid off. I'm like, okay, well, that makes sense. They had that thing paid

00:36:36.460 off that weekend. What they did is they gave me all of the money. They gave me the entire $5

00:36:42.280 and just paid it to me. And then everything else they make is profit. The other thing that we do

00:36:47.700 on the cherry picker project is that they have to have, they have bags that they put these cherries

00:36:51.920 in. Well, where are those bags coming from? Initially they thought, oh, we're just going to give

00:36:56.600 them to them. It's like, we're not going to incur that cost. This is your business.

00:36:59.180 So if you want bags, then you have to buy them. So they buy the bags from, from the store, from us,

00:37:06.400 and then they give us a, uh, uh, a payment based on how many bags they use for, for that batch.

00:37:13.100 So these are all little things that we do and, and easy things to implement. So there are no

00:37:16.980 programs or resources. It just takes a little thought, a little ingenuity and a little implementation.

00:37:21.760 And your kids are off to the races and they're going to be leaps and bounds ahead of kids who

00:37:25.680 don't even know how to balance a checkbook because they, you know, they don't learn that

00:37:29.140 stuff in school. So you got to do it at home. Sounds like you're ready to do that. All right.

00:37:33.060 Eduardo Sosa, he says, there are, there are a limit. Let's see. Uh, let me, let me see if I can

00:37:40.120 interpret this here. There are limits. Are there limits in being a sheepdog? I think that's what

00:37:43.760 he's asking. Are there limits in being a sheepdog? Uh, some background I'm from Uruguay, a country who

00:37:49.280 fall in a communist regimen. They say is a democracy, but they don't respect the constitution.

00:37:54.820 I'm going to skip some of that. Uh, anyways, it says no one's willing to do anything about it.

00:38:00.880 I know alone I can do nothing. So my old country, now I'm in Paraguay, happy, married, happily

00:38:05.400 married and making progress and personal life. Thanks to this group. Well, my old country is,

00:38:09.840 is this way and, and another Valenzuela or Cuba. Should I do something? I try, but the people are too

00:38:16.280 lazy or scared to do something about it. Uh, he, uh, uh, a friend of mine had to leave the country

00:38:22.860 under a threat of death, real threat. Okay. Sorry. I had to try to decipher and interpret

00:38:28.300 that a little bit. Look, you're in a difficult situation. Uh, and, and there is things that you

00:38:33.220 can do so much. Um, you're, you might put yourself or your family at risk. Uh, and, and that of course

00:38:40.100 would be a difficult thing and a decision that ultimately you're going to have to make. Is this

00:38:43.860 worth it? I can't make that decision for you. I can't tell you it is, or it isn't. You're going

00:38:48.060 to have to make that decision for yourself. So should you do something? My question is,

00:38:53.360 should you, you can answer that question. You're capable of doing that. Sounds like you see some

00:38:59.260 injustices and you want to do something about it. And to that, I would say, do what you feel is

00:39:04.240 right. Are there risks? Yeah. Yeah, man. Like real risks. You said it right here. A friend of yours had

00:39:09.700 to leave the country under threat of death. Well, sounds like you're walking the same path. Are you

00:39:13.840 interested in walking that path? Is this that important to you? If it is, I think you know your

00:39:18.060 answer. If not, I also think you know your answer. Uh, there's other opportunities as well. If you can

00:39:23.340 get out of that country and, and, and come here legally to America, then maybe that's an option

00:39:28.540 and an opportunity that you look into, uh, that may put you and your family in a better situation

00:39:33.760 because yes, there are limits to being a sheepdog. There's some, and even a sheepdog, there's some

00:39:38.380 environments that you just aren't going to get yourself into because you know, if you get

00:39:43.760 yourself into that situation or that environment, it's going to go South very, very quickly.

00:39:47.700 So be responsible with your obligations. That could also mean your kids and your family

00:39:51.960 make decisions that, you know, in your best heart, protect your family and kids and look for other

00:39:58.620 means and other opportunities that may have escaped you right now. Okay. I'm sorry to hear the situation

00:40:03.980 you're in, but it sounds like you're thinking in the right direction. You got to make those tough

00:40:07.300 decisions. All right. Chris, uh, Jewel says alcohol, how, or how will you handle the topic

00:40:13.840 with your kids? Well, it's very easy for me. I don't, I don't drink and I encourage my kids not

00:40:18.000 to drink. I hope they're not drinking at age 11, eight, five, and three, but as they get older,

00:40:23.120 I encourage them not to drink. And so I'm able to, I'm able to be that example. I don't understand how,

00:40:30.360 how a man can drink and then expect his children not to be interested in drinking.

00:40:35.120 Now I'm not going to judge you for that. Ultimately you have to make that decision for

00:40:38.780 yourself. But to me at a minimum, it seems a little disingenuous. So if you don't want your

00:40:44.060 kids to drink, then don't drink. If you don't want your kids to swear, then don't swear.

00:40:48.060 Well, I'm the adult. I can do what you want. Yeah, you can do what you want. And you certainly

00:40:51.760 have a right to do what you want, but just know that your kids are going to model your behavior,

00:40:55.480 both negatively and positively. Don't be so delusional or arrogant to believe that your kids

00:41:02.060 are going to think that, Oh, well, it's okay in his context because he's 10 or 15 or 20 years older

00:41:07.760 than me or 30 or whatever it is. Be an example, the type of example that you want your kids to

00:41:15.760 live like. That's easier said than done, of course, but that is your ultimate obligation

00:41:19.740 responsibility as a man. So for me, I don't want my kids to drink. Therefore I don't drink.

00:41:25.880 And then we don't have to have a discussion about why dad drinks, but they shouldn't. So yeah,

00:41:31.820 these are conversations that we have all the time. I think it's, we talk about drinking and we talk

00:41:35.920 about tattoos and we talk about smoking and drug use. And we talk, we talk about everything and we

00:41:41.560 have these real conversations in a meaningful and significant way. And I hope that it impacts them

00:41:46.420 in their life. All right. Joshua Splon. I think we've got maybe, I don't know, let's see here five or

00:41:52.440 six left. So I think we're going to get through all of them today. Joshua says any advice on at

00:41:57.340 home training? I'm trying to save money for a gym membership, but want to get after it now. Any

00:42:02.080 advice on workout routines? I'm not the best guy to ask, but yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of

00:42:06.180 things that you can do at home. You can do body weight movements. You can do pull-ups, you can do

00:42:10.020 sit-ups, you can do push-ups, you can do burpees. Like these are just, these are things that you can do.

00:42:14.180 You can jump online and look for body weight programs and training. There's all kinds of apps on,

00:42:18.420 on your, your phone that you can download that are going to give you free training or

00:42:22.380 you're going to pay, you know, 10 bucks a month or whatever it might be. So yeah, look,

00:42:26.480 if you're interested in doing it, you'll find a way you'll find a way, but a lot of body weight

00:42:30.620 stuff is really good. Maybe some light dumbbells or kettlebells or Sornex has these really cool

00:42:36.440 center mass bells. They're basically big balls, big hunks of metal, but the inside is hollowed out

00:42:42.780 and it has a handle inside. So you actually put your fist inside and you can do curls and presses and

00:42:48.220 all kinds of interesting and creative stuff with the center mass bells. I really, really like those.

00:42:54.060 But yeah, just like you said, get after it now. Just, just do what you can. Burpees,

00:42:59.020 push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, all the stuff. You got this, Joshua. All right. Next couple of

00:43:04.900 questions here. Derek Myers. What's the best advice you'd give to someone on the job hunt? I would say

00:43:10.500 number one, that you network, not just with potential employers, but that you network with people

00:43:16.620 that are connected with you, that are not so connected to you, that are just outside of your

00:43:20.920 circle, that are well outside of your circle. The more networking connections and marketing you can

00:43:25.440 make for yourself, the better off you are. So join civic organizations like Rotary and Lions Club,

00:43:31.060 join business networking groups like Business Network International, go to chamber events,

00:43:37.080 go where the people are, go to conferences, specifically in the industries that you're interested

00:43:41.480 in, conferences, online courses where other people are, be there, join Facebook groups with people

00:43:47.920 who are interested in what you're interested in and really expand your network. No opportunity

00:43:52.820 creates itself or happens without somebody else being involved. So the best thing that you can do

00:43:58.140 for job hunting is to put yourself out there, to go where the people are, to talk about what you want,

00:44:04.020 to help other people get what they want, learn to be a connector. And ultimately, I don't think it's

00:44:09.120 real difficult to find a job. I don't think that you should ever on your end be hired by a company

00:44:14.560 that you aren't familiar with or know somebody in that organization. And conversely, I don't think

00:44:19.900 an employer should ever hire somebody that they don't already know through a mutual introduction

00:44:25.420 or doing networking on their own. Yeah, there's the job interview, asking good questions and looking

00:44:31.100 professional and doing all the things that you know how to do. But at the end of the day,

00:44:34.540 the biggest thing that you can do for yourself is learn to become a master marketer, a master

00:44:40.080 networker, a master connector. And I think you're going to have a significantly easier time finding

00:44:46.380 yourself a job and a career. All right. Dylan Van Gessel, I would like to address fatherlessness

00:44:51.960 and the toil that the lack of a platonic family has on society. It's catastrophic.

00:44:57.200 It's catastrophic. I mean, look at the statistics of fatherless homes from violence to drug abuse,

00:45:05.740 to suicide and depression, to dropout rates. It's horrendous. It's horrible. And I think this is a

00:45:14.400 both conscious and subconscious attack on A, the family unit and B, fathers. I mean, just look at the

00:45:23.840 family court system, for example, it's so corrupt and it's so skewed in favor of women that we're doing 1.00

00:45:29.680 our young sons and daughters a huge disservice by keeping our fathers away from our children.

00:45:37.460 It's horrendous. And that's part of the reason that I'm so involved in this movement of reclaiming

00:45:44.980 and restoring masculinity. It's part of the reason that I'm so adamant about individual sovereignty.

00:45:51.380 It's part of the reason that I'm so, I don't want to say hung up, but just obsessed with making men

00:45:59.420 more capable and then also turning around and extending and offering a hand to those youngsters

00:46:04.900 who come up behind us. It's a national, I would say not even national, it's a global epidemic.

00:46:13.540 And we're beginning to see the negative ramifications and the fallout from not having

00:46:19.800 fathers in the home. More children are being born out of wedlock. Uh, more divorces are happening.

00:46:26.960 And I know a lot of people say, well, the divorce rates are going down. I think the reason they're

00:46:30.220 going down is because people just simply aren't getting married, which presents its own set of

00:46:34.860 problems. It's a huge issue. It's a huge issue, which is why I ask. And I try to enlist as many men

00:46:41.100 in this mission of order of man to reclaim and restore masculinity, to step up as fathers and

00:46:46.560 husbands, community leaders, business owners. If you're not a father, there's plenty of opportunities

00:46:51.260 to mentor and to coach and to teach young boys in your community through scouting organizations or

00:46:56.860 church organizations or extracurricular activities like sports. There's opportunities there. And we,

00:47:02.520 as men who understand how to operate, have a moral obligation and responsibility to help these young

00:47:08.120 men who are coming behind us. We're going to ask them to lead at some point. I would like to think

00:47:13.300 that they're going to be adequately prepared and trained to do so when that day comes.

00:47:17.940 So there it is. A couple more here, guys. Scott Ainsworth says, what's your current fitness routine

00:47:23.120 look like? And why did you choose it? Very simply, it's CrossFit. I do CrossFit five days a week.

00:47:27.980 I chose it because I enjoy it. I chose it because I have friends there. I chose it because I don't have

00:47:32.760 to think about what my programming is. I walk in, they tell me exactly what to do. I do it and I go home

00:47:37.120 and I get onto other things throughout the day. It's very simple, very easy for me to implement.

00:47:41.680 I'm going to start doing some more strength training after going to Soren X's event, Summer

00:47:46.280 Strong. I realized that I need to get stronger. I mean, these guys were absolute horses. It was

00:47:52.460 unbelievable to watch these individuals lift and to spend three days with these guys. And it inspired

00:47:59.160 me to get some strength training going on. So there you go, Scott. Last one, Dyrell Stoffer says,

00:48:05.400 does our actions reflect what we truly in deep down really want? There's more to this, but I'm going

00:48:12.740 to say not necessarily on that first one. And I'll get into it. Whether it be, whether it be the good

00:48:18.300 and moral man, or we side with the unhealthy version. For example, exercise, the days where I

00:48:24.600 don't necessarily want to get out of bed and go to the gym, but I do it because it benefits my health

00:48:29.780 and ultimately serving those around me, creating a bigger want. So in conclusion, do we always do

00:48:35.440 what we want? Hope that thought makes sense. I appreciate all that you guys do. Thanks. The

00:48:39.560 answer is no, we don't always do what we deep down really want because we have egos and we have

00:48:49.140 the desire to produce the result without the effort. And we want the results now without having to wait

00:48:55.300 for them and we're lazy and we'll lie and we'll cheat and we'll steal and we'll shortcut and we'll do

00:48:59.960 everything that we can to produce in our lives without having to go the hard path without having to do

00:49:04.520 it correctly. So the answer is, do we always do what we deep down really want? I don't, I don't think

00:49:13.100 that's the case. I think it might come down to a question of how bad you really want it. For example,

00:49:18.040 we had that question earlier where a guy wants to get up and work out in the, in the beginning

00:49:21.940 of the day or wants to get it done a little bit better in the morning. We'll find out. We'll find

00:49:26.120 out how bad he really wants it. I mean, I'm sure he wants it, but wanting it and then actively working

00:49:32.180 towards it are two different things. Desires are wonderful. I think that's the, the seed, the

00:49:37.940 foundation of growth in your life is a desire to have some sort of progress in your life, but it means

00:49:43.580 nothing, nothing. If you don't water the seed and you water the seed through your actions, through

00:49:50.480 your planning, through your commitment, through your discipline, through your dedication,

00:49:53.720 through the sacrifice, through the hard work required to have that seed grow into a powerful

00:50:00.900 tree. So no, our actions don't always reflect that. And it's my job every day to battle with

00:50:12.420 the weaker version of myself. I call it the natural man. He's lazy. He's instant gratification. He wants

00:50:18.420 the result without the effort and he's dishonest and immoral. So I'm fighting against that individual

00:50:24.740 and trying to create something better. And like the analogy says, feeding the good wolf or however

00:50:30.340 that analogy goes, but I think you get it. So guys, you're on that battle too. You know, every day

00:50:35.360 you're, you're, you're faced with temptations, temptations to cheat, temptations to take the easy

00:50:39.980 path, temptations to step out on your wife, temptations to throw somebody else under the bus, 1.00

00:50:44.660 temptations to hit the snooze button, temptations everywhere. And your job is to resist those

00:50:49.360 temptations through your planning and your processing and your discipline and commitment

00:50:53.340 to what it is you really want and getting it done and getting after it. Sorry, you're hearing me

00:50:57.120 shuffle papers here. Anyways, guys, that's it. All right. I think we got through, I don't know,

00:51:02.180 however many questions we got through 20 or so, maybe a little bit more or less, but there they are.

00:51:06.480 So I hope you enjoyed that one. I know Kip wasn't here and he usually brings a, a new and an

00:51:11.540 interesting perspective that I don't bring myself, which is why I think this podcast

00:51:14.820 specifically, the ask me anything does so well is because, because he's here joining me. So we miss

00:51:20.200 him today and this week, but he'll be back next week. No problem. But that's all I got guys. Make

00:51:24.780 sure in the process. And, and as you're thinking about the answers to these questions, if you would

00:51:28.920 join us in Facebook, specifically facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Make sure also look

00:51:36.640 at the iron council. I'm telling you, a lot of you guys speaking of wants and desires, tell me what you

00:51:40.780 want and what you desire. And we've got a program in the iron council that will help you get closer

00:51:48.100 to that version of yourself that will push you and test you, hold you accountable, challenge you

00:51:53.680 in ways that might just push you over the edge. So if you're interested in banding with, with me,

00:51:59.260 and I'm very active in that group and Kip's very active in that group and the other 500 men in the

00:52:03.960 iron council, then head to order of man.com slash iron council. Very easy. Outside of that guy,

00:52:09.540 subscribe to the podcast, uh, connect with me on Instagram specifically tag somebody on Instagram.

00:52:15.360 That's where I'm active most Instagram and maybe Twitter as a close second, both at Ryan Michler,

00:52:21.160 R Y A N M I C H L E R. So you can find us there. Um, don't worry about the store right now. It's not 1.00

00:52:27.740 open for the next three weeks until we get it moved out to Maine and get the store back running. Um,

00:52:33.080 but you can support us through sharing this and connecting with me on, uh, on social media.

00:52:37.900 All right, guys, we'll let you get going until Friday. Go out there, take action and become the

00:52:41.960 man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:52:47.180 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:52:51.820 of man.com.

Order of Man - May 29, 2019

Fatherless Epidemic, Doing Work for the Right Reason, and Ending Unhealthy Relationships ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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