Order of Man - FFN 004： Crushing Excuses

00:00:00.000 You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.

00:00:04.600 Your blood. Your sweat. Your tears.

00:00:07.740 You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.

00:00:11.480 Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.

00:00:14.640 You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.

00:00:18.420 And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.

00:00:22.480 Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.

00:00:25.440 Men, what is going on? Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.

00:00:28.260 I am Ryan Mickler, and I am the founder of Order of Men.

00:00:31.460 Now, if you're new to the show today, keep in mind that this is just a short version.

00:00:34.200 This is a quick show that we do each and every Friday.

00:00:36.900 Our full-length show is released every single Tuesday,

00:00:40.100 and that's where I interview the strongest, the smartest, the toughest, the baddest,

00:00:44.060 the most successful men on the planet.

00:00:46.180 So make sure you subscribe to that show so you miss none of those.

00:00:49.060 I promise that they'll be well worth your time.

00:00:51.620 So if you've listened to me for any amount of time,

00:00:53.660 you know that I'm a guy who gets right to the heart of the matter.

00:00:56.540 I'm not into wasting a bunch of time.

00:00:58.260 We're charming you with a bunch of fluff that has no relevancy

00:01:00.720 in the discussions that we're having.

00:01:02.560 I value your time.

00:01:03.360 I value my time.

00:01:04.540 And with that said, I just want to jump right into the topic today, which is excuses.

00:01:08.340 Now, this is a tough discussion for me because, frankly, excuses tick me off.

00:01:13.540 You know, when my kids or my employees give me excuses, I get fired up.

00:01:16.840 There is absolutely no reason to come up with any excuses in your life.

00:01:20.920 You either did the job or you didn't do the job.

00:01:23.640 Nobody cares why or how you did or didn't do.

00:01:26.480 All they care about is whether or not you got the job done.

00:01:29.880 Now, it's easy for us to recognize when others make excuses, but do we recognize it in ourselves?

00:01:37.020 Probably not, because the reality is that we've been coming up with excuses our entire lives.

00:01:43.080 And because we come up with so many excuses, we don't even recognize it anymore when we're doing it.

00:01:48.200 So when you were a kid, for example, you came up with all the reasons in the world why you didn't get your chores done.

00:01:54.720 When you got a little older, you told a teacher why you didn't get your homework done.

00:01:57.700 When you got into career, you told your boss why you didn't hit that deadline for the project.

00:02:02.640 And maybe now you don't have anyone necessarily to report to.

00:02:05.300 So instead of sharing your excuses with others, you share them with yourselves.

00:02:08.800 You run these scripts in your head why you didn't get the promotion, why your marriage is falling apart,

00:02:12.820 why you're out of shape, why you went bankrupt.

00:02:15.460 But excuses aren't really the problem.

00:02:17.400 The problem is the underlying threat of the excuse that each and every one of us make on a daily basis.

00:02:24.100 When you tell others or even yourself why you didn't succeed,

00:02:27.660 typically what happens is you end up blaming somebody else or something else.

00:02:31.800 And that something is usually completely outside of your control.

00:02:36.100 You know, my boss doesn't like me.

00:02:37.500 The economy is bad.

00:02:38.680 My wife doesn't appreciate me. 1.00

00:02:39.840 I'm too busy.

00:02:40.800 On and on and on with all the excuses.

00:02:42.340 Because for example, if you're going through a divorce and your excuses,

00:02:47.240 my wife didn't care about me. 1.00

00:02:48.540 Great.

00:02:49.000 How does that serve you? 1.00

00:02:50.440 Now, on the other hand, if you said you're going through a divorce because you're an asshole. 1.00

00:02:54.380 Great. 1.00

00:02:54.860 Now we actually have something to work with. 1.00

00:02:56.720 We need to help you be less of an ass. 0.99

00:02:59.220 That is completely within your control. 0.99

00:03:02.400 But that's not really what happens here, right?

00:03:04.760 I mean, you're not going to call yourself out like that.

00:03:06.760 Most people don't.

00:03:08.180 So let me tell you something though.

00:03:09.540 The most successful people on the planet, they do just that.

00:03:14.440 They take the blame, they take the fall, and then they learn from those failures.

00:03:18.960 So here's the deal.

00:03:19.780 I want you to be powerful.

00:03:22.140 Powerful in your relationships, powerful in your career, powerful with your money, physically,

00:03:26.740 mentally, emotionally powerful.

00:03:28.420 But each time you and I make excuses based on what somebody else did or some other outside

00:03:33.760 factor, we whittle away our power.

00:03:36.280 We become weak.

00:03:37.360 We all know that guy in the office who's the weenie, right?

00:03:39.620 He's conniving.

00:03:40.440 He's sniveling.

00:03:41.420 And what do you actually think about that person?

00:03:43.740 The reason you think that about that person is because he makes excuses for his poor performance.

00:03:48.540 It's not necessarily the poor performance that gets you upset.

00:03:51.420 It's the lack of ability to own that performance.

00:03:54.520 I don't want you to be that guy.

00:03:55.880 And here's how you do that.

00:03:56.700 I've got a couple of tips for you today.

00:03:58.480 Number one, recognize that your excuses, they have expiration dates on them.

00:04:02.700 You can only sulk on your misfortune for so long before it's time to put your big boy

00:04:06.980 pants on and drive on.

00:04:08.740 Now, most of you know I grew up without a permanent father figure in my home.

00:04:11.660 I didn't have a role model and I'm not going to get into that here.

00:04:14.300 If you want to know more about my story, you can go listen to past episodes of my podcast,

00:04:17.160 but it would have been easy for me to turn out completely different than I did.

00:04:22.560 And everyone would have said, oh, I feel bad for Ryan.

00:04:25.680 He didn't have a dad.

00:04:26.800 That's lame.

00:04:27.500 I can't fall back on that excuse anymore.

00:04:30.420 I'm a grown man with my own life.

00:04:32.800 I've been through trials.

00:04:34.460 I've had lessons.

00:04:35.360 I've learned some things and my life is my own excuses have expiration dates.

00:04:41.720 Second, we need to eliminate the need to explain every single thing that we did throughout the

00:04:47.660 day.

00:04:48.080 Good and bad.

00:04:49.160 See, when you feel it necessary to explain everything, you're more likely to make excuses.

00:04:54.800 Remember, nobody cares why or how you did something.

00:04:58.920 They just care about whether you did it or not.

00:05:01.060 So when I went to army basic training in 2000, me and my buddies from high school got very

00:05:05.620 used to the phrase, no excuses, drill sergeant.

00:05:08.960 When we messed up in training, we tell our drill sergeant, no excuses.

00:05:12.200 When the guy next to us would make his excuses, he'd get smoked, which is a term for getting 0.99

00:05:17.940 your ass kicked through a pushups, sit-ups, pull-ups, literally until you puked. 0.98

00:05:22.740 Now we'd catch these drill sergeants off guard because they were so used to privates giving them 1.00

00:05:27.600 all of the reasons in the world for the failures.

00:05:30.480 And when we would say no excuses, the drill sergeants would look at us and say, fine,

00:05:33.920 do better next time.

00:05:35.120 And that was the end of it.

00:05:37.180 So realize that you don't need to explain everything and get used to the phrase, no excuses.

00:05:44.360 Last thing I want to talk with you about today is that you need to stop looking at other people.

00:05:48.900 Why do we care so much about what other people do?

00:05:51.420 I fall into this trap too.

00:05:52.600 I'm not saying it's just you.

00:05:54.100 I get it.

00:05:54.900 But we need to stop looking at what other people do or don't do is a recipe, I'm telling

00:06:01.560 you, for disaster.

00:06:02.820 First, you're going to get caught in the comparison trap.

00:06:04.740 I've been there.

00:06:05.180 It's not a good place to be.

00:06:06.720 Or you're going to start throwing people under the bus.

00:06:10.260 So my oldest son, he'll come rat his brother out every once in a while for something that

00:06:13.480 happened.

00:06:14.020 It ticks me off every time.

00:06:16.420 Me, everybody.

00:06:17.420 It ticks off everybody.

00:06:18.220 Me, his mother, his brother.

00:06:19.720 Nobody likes a snitch.

00:06:20.900 So here's an idea.

00:06:22.460 Let other people worry about their stuff and you worry about yours.

00:06:26.500 Done.

00:06:27.140 End of discussion.

00:06:28.460 That's it.

00:06:29.480 When you start getting into that blame game, nobody is going to work with you and you won't

00:06:33.780 get done whatever it is you're trying to accomplish.

00:06:36.700 Besides, you can't really even control what other people do.

00:06:39.720 You can only control yourself.

00:06:41.720 Let them make their own bed. 0.93

00:06:43.580 You make yours.

00:06:44.940 This is a lesson that we teach our kids, but we don't even adhere to it as adults.

00:06:49.520 So there you go.

00:06:50.820 Three quick lessons on what you can do throughout your day to eliminate, to crush those excuses.

00:06:56.880 I could go on about this all day, but I told you it'd be a short show.

00:06:59.300 Bottom line, own everything that happens in your life.

00:07:02.920 It may not be your fault, but it really doesn't matter.

00:07:05.220 Focus on what you can control yourself and quit making excuses as to why something you said

00:07:10.560 would happen didn't.

00:07:12.820 It's the only way that you guys can reclaim the power and be the man that you're working

00:07:18.400 on becoming.

00:07:19.360 Now, if you want to learn more about how to do this and take control of your life, you

00:07:23.080 just keep listening to the podcast.

00:07:24.320 We'll keep going, but also consider joining our elite mastermind, the Iron Council.

00:07:28.800 This is a group of men, myself included, who will hold your feet to the fire.

00:07:32.120 We don't let you make excuses.

00:07:33.260 We ask you to identify your goals and then we help you accomplish them.

00:07:36.940 It's that simple.

00:07:37.900 So if you're interested in that, you can learn more about it at orderofman.com slash iron

00:07:41.960 council.

00:07:42.580 But until then, guys, eliminate your excuses, own every single choice that you make, accept

00:07:48.740 the consequence of those choices and be a man.

00:07:52.600 Those are your Friday field notes.

00:07:55.480 Now, it's time to crush your excuses, own your choices, accept responsibility, and live manfully.

00:08:02.560 Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.

Order of Man - May 20, 2016

FFN 004： Crushing Excuses

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