Order of Man - FFN 005： Power of Choices

00:00:00.000 You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.

00:00:04.600 Your blood. Your sweat. Your tears.

00:00:07.740 You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.

00:00:11.480 Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.

00:00:14.640 You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.

00:00:18.420 And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.

00:00:22.460 Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.

00:00:24.420 Men, what is going on? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am your host and the founder of Order of Men.

00:00:30.100 Now, if you're new to the show for the first time today, I want you to understand that this is just a short show.

00:00:35.080 It's called Friday Field Notes. Obviously, we release them every Friday.

00:00:38.560 But, in addition to this show, you need to make sure that you check out our Tuesday show.

00:00:42.880 Each and every Tuesday, we release an interview with one of the most successful people on the planet.

00:00:47.980 And we talk about relationships and providing for your family, protecting your loved ones, health, money, life.

00:00:53.600 That's what it's about. It's about life.

00:00:55.400 It's about helping you become the man you were meant to be.

00:01:00.200 So, make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you never miss our Tuesday interview show or these Friday Field Notes.

00:01:06.180 Now, if you're not new to the show, you know that I typically just jump right into this each and every week.

00:01:11.860 You're busy. I'm busy. I don't want to bore you with a bunch of fluff and frills and things that don't matter.

00:01:16.600 So, let's just get right into the meat and the material I want to talk about today.

00:01:19.980 So, on that note, we're going to talk about choices.

00:01:23.240 Choices. It's a powerful word.

00:01:24.780 It's powerful because when you own the fact that your day and your life is a series of choices,

00:01:30.280 you start to wrestle some of the control and power back from the people and the companies and the institutions

00:01:36.220 and the governments, in some cases, that you've given that power to.

00:01:40.020 So, let me tell you what the opposite of this is, giving away choices or giving away power.

00:01:44.380 It's the words, I can't.

00:01:46.960 And frankly, you need to get that vocabulary out of your head right now. 1.00

00:01:51.440 It's so pathetic. 0.99

00:01:52.380 It's destroying your ability to get ahead. 0.99

00:01:55.080 Won't and can't are different and you better start understanding that difference really quick.

00:02:00.120 And this is such a horrible phrase in our house.

00:02:02.300 It's like a swear word.

00:02:03.560 Every time I hear one of my children do it, they have to give me 10 burpees.

00:02:07.740 I want them to be aware of the word, I can't.

00:02:11.200 It's not even real.

00:02:11.900 It's not real.

00:02:12.660 It's an illusion that we as humans create to get out of the work that's required to do whatever.

00:02:20.180 Have a good marriage, go to the gym, start a new business, yada, yada, yada.

00:02:23.820 So, let's think about, for example, your morning.

00:02:27.480 When you hear the alarm go off, why did you set it for 6 or 7 or 8 o'clock?

00:02:33.540 Most of the time, you say it's because I had to.

00:02:35.600 Wrong.

00:02:36.040 You choose to.

00:02:37.740 You chose to set it at 7.

00:02:39.960 Well, Ryan, if I don't get up at 7, I won't be ready for work in time.

00:02:43.420 Great.

00:02:43.760 That's still a choice.

00:02:45.400 Who said you had to go into work at that time?

00:02:47.260 Who said you had to do that job?

00:02:49.000 Don't tell me you have to.

00:02:50.520 It's almost as bad as saying, I can't.

00:02:53.760 Like, have you really resigned to a life of I have to?

00:02:57.000 No, man.

00:02:57.600 You get to.

00:02:58.460 You get to go to work.

00:03:00.020 But, Ryan, what if I hate my job?

00:03:01.580 Get a new job.

00:03:02.680 But, Ryan, what if I can't find a job in my area?

00:03:05.320 Move to a new area.

00:03:06.240 But, Ryan, my family depends on my income.

00:03:08.720 No, your family depends on your fulfillment. 0.78

00:03:11.200 You really think your family wants you to be miserable?

00:03:13.880 You really think that you're serving them when you're unhappy?

00:03:17.900 But, Ryan, I don't have a degree.

00:03:20.180 Get a degree.

00:03:21.060 Or find a job that doesn't require one.

00:03:22.760 Can you see how weak it is to resign to this have to or to rely on some outside factor?

00:03:29.860 It's not what men do, guys. 0.99

00:03:31.740 Men grab life by the balls. 1.00

00:03:33.300 And when something doesn't work quite right the way that they would have liked it to work, 0.98

00:03:38.300 they make a choice and they change directions.

00:03:41.720 So, I want you to see how powerful choices can be in your life.

00:03:44.620 Now, notice I didn't say that choosing makes things easier.

00:03:50.200 It doesn't.

00:03:51.220 It just means that your life is going to be more fulfilling, more meaningful.

00:03:55.100 And I want you to start thinking about this.

00:03:57.160 Every day, every decision, every situation, every circumstance is a choice in your life.

00:04:04.360 So, I'll give an example.

00:04:05.360 I went golfing with a couple of friends the other day.

00:04:07.940 And one of them asked if I wanted to join a men's golfing league.

00:04:11.100 I would have loved to do that, but I decided, guys, I decided not to.

00:04:15.900 Now, most guys would have made an excuse, right?

00:04:18.060 My wife won't let me or money doesn't allow it or the million other excuses 0.88

00:04:21.660 that we come up with on a daily basis.

00:04:24.060 But for me, it was a matter of choosing where to allocate my time.

00:04:28.480 Do I choose to allocate it towards golf?

00:04:30.960 Or do I choose to allocate it to my family?

00:04:34.120 Or do I choose to allocate that time to my business?

00:04:37.860 And this is what I'm talking about.

00:04:39.140 It's my life.

00:04:41.100 It's not my friend's life.

00:04:42.580 It's not my boss's life.

00:04:43.960 It's not my wife's life. 0.62

00:04:45.100 It's mine.

00:04:46.500 And if you truly want to be happy and satisfied and fulfilled,

00:04:50.120 you have got to start treating it that way.

00:04:52.980 No one dictates for me how I'm going to run my life.

00:04:56.160 I have advisors.

00:04:56.940 I have family.

00:04:57.520 I have coaches.

00:04:58.220 They guide and then direct me.

00:04:59.620 But ultimately, I choose.

00:05:02.240 So, we can't get in this default mode of going with the flow.

00:05:06.700 Be a man.

00:05:07.320 Take charge of your life.

00:05:09.020 All right.

00:05:09.500 So, you get this, right?

00:05:10.360 I've beat on this enough.

00:05:11.500 You understand the power of choices.

00:05:13.400 But how do you do it?

00:05:14.700 What I want to do is I just want to give you three quick and easy tips that you can use

00:05:19.200 in order to be better at choices, to own your life.

00:05:23.520 So, the first thing I want to tell you is you need to, and I already hit on this a minute

00:05:27.080 to go, eliminate the words, I can't, from your vocabulary.

00:05:31.920 Instead, replace them with the words, I won't.

00:05:35.340 There's a difference, right?

00:05:36.540 Or I don't want to.

00:05:38.140 Or I choose not to.

00:05:40.580 Because that's what it really is.

00:05:42.460 It's never that you can't.

00:05:44.180 Eliminating the words, I can't, puts the responsibility back on where it belongs, which is your shoulders.

00:05:52.020 The responsibility is on our shoulders as men.

00:05:55.080 And when you say, I can't, you're shucking or shirking that responsibility.

00:06:01.080 So, second, practice making choices.

00:06:03.840 Practice makes perfect, right?

00:06:05.020 We're not going to get better at it until we do it.

00:06:07.320 So, you want to know one of my pet peeves?

00:06:09.960 When somebody invites me to lunch or dinner and then asks me where I want to go to lunch.

00:06:15.600 Be decisive, man.

00:06:16.980 That's your job.

00:06:18.420 So, if someone asks you to choose, do it.

00:06:21.580 Work on that.

00:06:22.200 If a business associate asks you where you'd like to go to lunch, decide.

00:06:26.200 Tell them where you'd like to go to lunch.

00:06:27.380 If a friend asks you where you'd like to go golfing, decide.

00:06:30.040 Pick a course.

00:06:31.220 If your wife asks you which color she should get, decide. 0.64

00:06:35.340 All right?

00:06:35.660 Practice making choices will help you get better at making choices.

00:06:41.780 And then the third thing I want to share with you is that each and every day, you need to review

00:06:45.620 your day and ask yourself what you got done.

00:06:49.000 Ask yourself if it's what you meant to get done.

00:06:51.880 Ask yourself what you didn't get done.

00:06:53.740 Ask yourself what the disparity is between what you did and didn't get done.

00:06:58.460 Ask yourself what choices are you going to make tomorrow to be more effective.

00:07:02.420 Ask what priorities do you have for the following day?

00:07:05.460 Are you seeing a trend here?

00:07:06.380 You need to review your day and think critically about where you allowed things to slip through

00:07:12.300 the cracks and then how you can deliberately make better choices tomorrow so that that doesn't

00:07:18.140 happen again.

00:07:20.160 All right?

00:07:20.760 So there's three quick and easy tools that you can use.

00:07:24.020 Eliminate the words, I can't.

00:07:25.680 Practice making choices.

00:07:27.600 Review every single day.

00:07:29.420 So I think we're up on time.

00:07:30.820 Bottom line, choose more, defer less.

00:07:33.140 I promise you, you're going to be more happy, more successful, more respected, more influential,

00:07:37.740 more of a man.

00:07:38.760 So I'm going to leave you with a quote.

00:07:40.600 I tell my kids all the time.

00:07:42.200 My oldest son rolls his eyes every time I say it.

00:07:45.400 Live your life by design, not by default.

00:07:49.960 And on that note, if you want to learn more about how to do that, you need to join our

00:07:53.540 mastermind, The Iron Council.

00:07:55.000 This is 80 plus other guys.

00:07:56.420 We're working side by side to take charge of our lives, relationships, health, wealth,

00:08:00.720 business, whatever it may be.

00:08:02.360 So if you're stuck in life, if you've reached a plateau, if you're not growing, chances

00:08:06.420 are that you've probably started to coast somewhere in life.

00:08:10.160 You're probably not making as many choices as you should, and you're living that life of

00:08:15.600 default.

00:08:16.040 So it's my goal and the goal of the men inside the council to shake you out of the

00:08:20.380 habits that are keeping you there, including your indecisiveness.

00:08:25.440 So if you're interested, head to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil and join us right now.

00:08:30.220 Guys, I look forward to talking with you next week, but until then, choose, choose how you

00:08:36.340 want to live your life.

00:08:38.020 Those are your Friday field notes.

00:08:39.900 Now it's time to crush your excuses, own your choices, accept responsibility, and live

00:08:45.660 manually.

00:08:46.600 Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.

Order of Man - May 27, 2016

FFN 005： Power of Choices

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