Order of Man - July 08, 2016


FFN 011： Creating Work⧸Life Balance

Topics
work-life balance balance is a myth work-life balance communication
Hosted by
Ryan Michler
Mentioned
Jordan Harbinger Andy Frisilla Brett McKay Steadfast
OoM 068： Raising Men with Navy SEAL, Eric Davis OoM 069： The Laws of Wealth with Dr. Daniel Crosby

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

213.19

Word count

1,935

Sentence count

144

Harmful content

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, Ryan talks about the importance of work-life balance, why men struggle with it, and 3 simple ways to strike a good one. (Note: I am not an expert on this topic, but I have learned a few things that have helped me achieve a better balance in my own life.)

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.
00:00:04.600 Your blood. Your sweat. Your tears.
00:00:07.740 You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.
00:00:11.480 Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.
00:00:14.640 You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.
00:00:18.420 And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.
00:00:22.460 Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.
00:00:25.440 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of Order of Man.
00:00:29.600 If you're listening to this show, you know by now that we're a show about all things manly.
00:00:33.380 We talk about leadership and health and wealth and relationships, self-mastery, self-defense, and every other topic that is going to help you become the man that you want to be.
00:00:41.920 Bottom line, we want you to be a better leader, guys.
00:00:43.980 A better leader with yourself, a better leader in your family, your business, your community, a better leader in your life.
00:00:49.840 Now, if you're new to the show today, this is our Friday Field Notes show, which is basically five to seven minutes of me rambling about a given topic for the week.
00:00:57.420 Specifically today, I'm going to be talking about work-life balance.
00:01:00.700 But if you haven't subscribed yet, you need to, because each Tuesday, we release another show where we interview the world's most successful people and help you take those manly lessons back into your own life.
00:01:11.820 We've interviewed guys like Navy Seal Jocko Willing, Brett McKay with Art of Manliness, Andy Frisilla with MFCEO, Jordan Harbinger with the Art of Charm, and a ton more.
00:01:20.700 Now, with that said, I want to get into the show today because, as I said a second ago, we just don't have that much time.
00:01:25.460 I want to talk with you about a reoccurring topic that continues to come up in the emails I receive and on our Facebook group.
00:01:31.640 And by the way, if you're a man and you aren't a member of our Facebook group, where have you been?
00:01:36.140 You need to get on that group.
00:01:37.420 You can request access at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:01:41.720 The topic I want to address today, again, is that of work-life balance.
00:01:46.560 I want to talk about what it means, why guys actually struggle with this so much,
00:01:50.920 and three simple little strategies that I've used in my own life to help with this.
00:01:55.500 Now, I want you to understand, guys, I am not the expert on this.
00:01:58.200 My wife will attest to that.
00:01:59.600 But again, I have learned a couple of things that have helped me,
00:02:03.040 and I want to impart some of that knowledge, some of that wisdom onto you today.
00:02:06.660 All right, so what is work-life balance?
00:02:09.660 To me, it's all about striking the perfect balance between the amount of time you spend working
00:02:13.200 and the amount of time you spend engaging in other areas of your life,
00:02:16.960 specifically time for yourself and the time for your family, if that applies.
00:02:21.660 So let me start by saying that the work-life balance, it's a myth.
00:02:26.100 It just doesn't exist.
00:02:27.640 There are going to be moments in your life when you're more occupied with work
00:02:30.480 because you're vying for a job promotion or you have a big product launch.
00:02:34.300 And there's also going to be times when you're more focused on your personal life,
00:02:37.460 including your family.
00:02:38.340 You might have a vacation plan that you're going on.
00:02:40.440 You might have a new son or daughter like we do.
00:02:43.200 And those life events have the tendency to change your priorities for a time.
00:02:47.200 I want you to imagine for a second walking on a tightrope, hovering over New York City.
00:02:53.180 You're trying to get from one skyscraper to the next,
00:02:55.580 and you've got one of those long poles to help you balance.
00:02:58.420 And you're trying not to fall to your death, right?
00:03:01.480 Are you balanced?
00:03:03.080 See, balanced means that you've got equal weight on one foot as you do on the other,
00:03:06.740 and the pressure applied to the tightrope is exactly even at all times.
00:03:11.400 Of course not.
00:03:12.140 You're not balanced.
00:03:13.200 You're constantly making tiny corrections, right?
00:03:16.420 A shift of the foot here, a transfer of weight there,
00:03:19.360 and hopefully between all of those little minor corrections that you make,
00:03:22.820 you will get from point A to point B safely.
00:03:26.160 Such is life, all right, guys?
00:03:27.800 Balance is a myth.
00:03:28.780 It's a series of course corrections along the way.
00:03:31.500 But these course corrections, they're difficult.
00:03:34.260 And I know why it's difficult, especially for men.
00:03:36.400 And I know why it's difficult for me.
00:03:38.100 It's because working is very tangible.
00:03:41.120 And not only is working, your occupation, tangible, work is what we as men are hardwired to do.
00:03:47.900 Go to work, be more productive, bring home the bacon, right?
00:03:51.860 Also, we can measure our progress at work.
00:03:53.680 How many sales we've made, the amount of money we made today, where we failed, where we can improve.
00:03:57.820 But how do you measure being a good dad?
00:03:59.780 How do you measure being a good husband or a good friend?
00:04:02.540 That's much harder to do, right?
00:04:04.400 And so what do we do?
00:04:05.140 We refer back to the thing that is easiest to do and manage, which for most of us is work.
00:04:10.840 So how do we fix this quote unquote work-life balance?
00:04:14.160 We know we want to be better with our families, but we just don't know how.
00:04:17.720 So again, I'm going to offer you three simple suggestions, again, that have worked for me.
00:04:23.260 First, I need you to understand, this is the first one, that you should be creating congruency in your life.
00:04:29.280 I hear a lot about the different hats we wear.
00:04:30.800 Boss, employee, father, husband, coach, teacher, spiritual leader, community leader, volunteer, whatever.
00:04:36.340 On and on and on.
00:04:37.320 But what we rarely hear about is the level of congruency between the hats that we wear.
00:04:42.060 Are you the same person at home that you are at work?
00:04:44.360 Are you the same person in the community than you are at home?
00:04:48.140 And if you're being truthful, the answer is probably not.
00:04:51.020 And this represents a problem because you're trying to be different things to different people.
00:04:54.260 And not only is that extremely inefficient, but it's also unsatisfying.
00:04:58.260 It's unfulfilling.
00:04:59.040 It's unrewarding.
00:05:00.580 And if you're doing work that you don't love, why are you doing it?
00:05:04.340 If you're in a marriage that is falling apart, why aren't you fixing it?
00:05:08.060 The most frustrating thing a man can experience, in my opinion, because I've lived through this,
00:05:12.120 is living a life that is not in line with the way you view the world and your thoughts about the way your life should be lived.
00:05:20.780 You need to start aligning your work with your passion.
00:05:24.260 You need to build a marriage that coordinates with the work that you're doing.
00:05:27.020 You need to include your children in your community activities.
00:05:29.760 You need to serve your community the same way that you serve your family.
00:05:33.560 This is the congruency I'm talking about.
00:05:35.500 And when you do that, you're going to be so much more effective on those little course corrections that you're making throughout the course of your life.
00:05:43.680 Now, the next tactic I want to share with you is communication.
00:05:46.200 This is something men are generally bad at.
00:05:48.580 Are you communicating with your family regarding the expectations they should have of you and the expectations you have of them?
00:05:55.540 Are you communicating with your boss or your coworkers when you'll be in the office and when you'll be available and when you won't?
00:06:01.380 If not, you need to work on that ASAP, as soon as possible.
00:06:05.200 You cannot live life in balance without letting people know what you want, what you'll do, and what you won't do.
00:06:14.000 It just can't happen.
00:06:15.180 It's impossible to happen that way.
00:06:16.720 Are you good at saying no to the things that aren't congruent with your vision for life?
00:06:20.060 If not, you need to get better and you need to do it quickly or you'll be inundated with unimportant, trivial, meaningless work.
00:06:28.140 So communicate with your boss, communicate with your kids, communicate with your spouse, communicate with everyone that needs to know, everyone that has a vested interest in whatever it is you're going to be doing.
00:06:37.800 And the last thing I want to talk with you about is commitment.
00:06:40.820 Look, you've started to build a life that's congruent with your beliefs about the world.
00:06:44.360 You've communicated your vision and your expectations with those that need to know.
00:06:48.400 Now it's a matter of being committed, a matter of sticking to it.
00:06:52.140 If you tell your wife and kids you're going to be home at five o'clock, you better be home at five o'clock.
00:06:55.860 If not, you're lying, right?
00:06:58.140 There's no other way to sugarcoat that.
00:06:59.680 You're lying.
00:07:00.140 It's a breakdown in your commitment.
00:07:01.800 It's a breakdown in your communication.
00:07:03.700 It's a breakdown in the congruency that you have in your life.
00:07:06.240 You need to stick to what you say you're going to do.
00:07:08.540 If your boss asks you to work this weekend and you've already communicated to him that you cannot or you will not work weekends, you better learn to get good at saying no.
00:07:17.340 Honor your commitments.
00:07:19.200 If you tell a friend you're going to help him move this weekend, you better fulfill that obligation.
00:07:23.700 There should be only one reason that you don't fulfill your obligations.
00:07:27.560 Death, as in your death. 0.60
00:07:30.040 If you're not going to help the guy move, don't tell him you are.
00:07:32.540 This is all about being a man of your word.
00:07:34.240 When you commit to the things that you say you'd commit to, one of two things, guys, is going to happen.
00:07:38.400 First, people will start respecting you more and you'll be able to build trust and credibility with them and other people.
00:07:46.420 Or second, you're going to stop making so many commitments, which is going to free up the time to do what's actually important to you.
00:07:53.780 All right.
00:07:53.960 So it's congruency, it's communication, and it's commitment.
00:07:57.200 I know this is going to help you with the work-life balance and the course corrections you need to make along the way.
00:08:01.700 If you want to learn how to apply this in your life a little bit better than what we can talk about on a five- to eight-minute podcast, I want to invite you to join the Iron Council.
00:08:10.360 This is a mastermind designed to take your life to the next level.
00:08:13.820 What do you want out of life, guys?
00:08:15.440 More money?
00:08:16.080 What do you want?
00:08:16.520 Deeper relationships?
00:08:17.420 A job promotion?
00:08:18.260 Better health?
00:08:19.380 Whatever it is, me and the rest of the guys inside of the Iron Council, we're going to help you earn that for yourself.
00:08:25.520 Now, this month, we're talking all about the second C I mentioned today, which is communication.
00:08:29.920 So I want you to join us at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:08:34.120 In the meantime, get out there, start creating balance in your life by building a life of congruency, communicating your expectations with other people, and then committing for the rest of your life to that course of action.
00:08:46.860 I'm looking forward to talking to you next week, guys.
00:08:48.520 But until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.
00:08:52.500 Those are your Friday Field Notes.
00:08:54.400 Now, it's time to crush your excuses.
00:08:56.300 Own your choices, accept responsibility, and live manfully.
00:09:01.100 Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.