Order of Man - September 16, 2016


FFN 021： Adapt and Overcome


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

209.12337

Word Count

2,011

Sentence Count

168

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode of Friday Field Notes, Ryan talks about the concept of Adapting and Overcoming and how it can be applied in all areas of your life. He also talks about how to deal with adversity and how to overcome it.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.
00:00:04.600 Your blood. Your sweat. Your tears.
00:00:07.720 You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.
00:00:11.480 Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.
00:00:14.640 You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.
00:00:18.420 And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.
00:00:22.460 Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.
00:00:25.040 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of Order of Men.
00:00:29.420 And, as always, I am glad to be back with you here again today.
00:00:32.300 Now, I'm sure you know by now that this is our Friday Field Notes show.
00:00:35.400 This is the one you're listening to right now.
00:00:36.880 It is our short show. It's my ramblings. It's my thoughts, my ideas, and my insights for the week.
00:00:41.780 If you're new today, again, I want to welcome you.
00:00:44.120 But you also need to know that we have a full version show.
00:00:46.780 It's an interview show. We release that each Tuesday with some of the strongest, the smartest, the baddest, the toughest, the most successful men on the planet.
00:00:55.080 In fact, this Tuesday, I just released an interview with former Navy SEAL and the co-author of one of my favorite books.
00:01:00.620 I recommend it all the time. Extreme Ownership, Leif Babin.
00:01:04.160 If you haven't listened to that one yet, you need to go get on that one.
00:01:06.640 Now, I do want to get into the show fairly quickly.
00:01:08.720 I want to talk with you about something that used to tear me up.
00:01:12.340 It's the concept of adapting and overcoming.
00:01:15.800 And just like the phrase says, you and I as men need to anticipate.
00:01:19.200 We need to anticipate hurdles and learn how to better overcome the adversities that we are going to face in life.
00:01:25.100 I've been through some bad situations in my life.
00:01:27.060 I've been in dark places, as I'm sure you have.
00:01:29.440 And up until the last several years, it was very difficult for me to overcome anything that was unexpected.
00:01:34.920 It used to throw a wrench in my entire universe.
00:01:37.420 But the more confident I become, the more clear I get, the better I am at adapting to all that life has to throw at me.
00:01:45.460 And actually, I can come back stronger than I was before after these hurdles and these obstacles.
00:01:51.060 But let's face it, guys.
00:01:52.060 We go through some serious pain on the journey that we call life, right?
00:01:57.080 We deal with bankruptcies, divorce, job loss, illness and injury, loss of a family member.
00:02:03.400 And then we have the less serious things like a lawsuit or a shrinking timeline on a project at work.
00:02:09.040 Somebody cheats you. Somebody steals from you.
00:02:10.980 And of course, everything that comes in between.
00:02:13.460 So here's what I see a lot of these days.
00:02:15.460 I see obstacles, hurdles, roadblocks, challenges, whatever you want to call them, come up.
00:02:20.480 And instead of men facing these things head on and plowing through them or going around them, they stop.
00:02:26.320 They kind of hunker over in defeat and they tuck tail and run.
00:02:30.020 Look, guys, bad things are going to happen.
00:02:32.920 Life is going to play out.
00:02:34.300 Sometimes it's amazing.
00:02:35.660 Sometimes it's not.
00:02:36.960 But if you run at the first sign of hardship, you're weak and you'll never measure up as the man that you were put here on this earth to become.
00:02:46.340 You won't do anything worthwhile.
00:02:48.240 You won't get the girl or keep the girl.
00:02:50.480 You won't get a promotion.
00:02:51.680 You won't start a business that the one that you've been thinking about starting for years.
00:02:55.200 You won't go run that marathon you've always wanted to.
00:02:58.100 But what will happen is you'll settle.
00:03:00.820 You'll settle in a job that you hate.
00:03:02.940 You'll gain a few more pounds than you'd like.
00:03:04.820 You'll lose the girl if you get her at all.
00:03:06.460 And frankly, you'll live a sad little life.
00:03:08.720 Now, I know because I'm describing me.
00:03:10.720 This was my life.
00:03:11.640 And I see this a ton when it comes to the what I call the failure to launch syndrome, you know, where a 35 year old man is living in his parents basement.
00:03:21.080 He's playing Xbox or Pokemon all day and he's flipping burgers at Burger King the rest of his life.
00:03:26.280 Now, you might hear that and think, Ryan, that's that's not me.
00:03:29.180 That's good.
00:03:29.780 I'm glad.
00:03:30.560 But the inability to adapt and overcome is something that happens to, frankly, the most highly successful people to men get complacent.
00:03:39.880 They think they have it all figured out.
00:03:41.640 Then something happens, something comes up and it cripples them because they never built up that mental fortitude and resiliency to bear down when it needs to be bared down upon and toughen up when that's what the job requires.
00:03:54.280 All right.
00:03:54.540 So you get it now, right?
00:03:55.600 You understand that this is important stuff I'm talking about here.
00:03:58.380 But how do we do it?
00:03:59.300 How do we build up mental resiliency?
00:04:00.900 How do you adapt for things that we cannot predict?
00:04:03.260 How do you overcome these life altering experiences?
00:04:06.180 Guys, I know what this is like.
00:04:07.580 I left for Iraq when I was married for literally six months to my wife.
00:04:12.680 My wife and I almost called it quits after five years of marriage.
00:04:15.560 I've had failed business.
00:04:16.520 I've struggled with my weight.
00:04:17.820 These are all experiences that all of us will have or probably maybe even have already faced in our life and worse.
00:04:24.920 So the first step in this whole process is to reduce, just reduce the number of unexpected events in your life.
00:04:34.900 You've probably heard the quote, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
00:04:37.780 This is exactly what I'm talking about here.
00:04:39.900 But how do you eliminate the unknown, right?
00:04:41.920 The bottom line is you've got to prepare yourself.
00:04:43.860 You have to anticipate.
00:04:45.000 You need to get ready.
00:04:45.720 A soldier would never go into battle without training and you and I should never approach life without some serious preparation.
00:04:53.240 I'm talking about building up emergency funds and gaining new knowledge when it comes to your wealth.
00:04:57.280 I'm talking about going to the gym.
00:04:58.820 I'm talking about eating right when it comes to your health.
00:05:00.960 I'm talking about constantly putting new information into that six inches between your ears so that you're more equipped to deal with what life actually has to offer.
00:05:09.000 And I'm talking about making deposits into the relationships that you have in the form of service, serving others so that when you need a withdrawal, you'll have the emotional capital to request it.
00:05:20.180 This is all part of knowing that life happens and it's part of reducing the chances that you're going to run up against obstacles in the first place.
00:05:27.560 So that's step number one.
00:05:28.800 Now, step number two, don't make emotional decisions.
00:05:32.000 Look, I get it.
00:05:32.720 When things go wrong and they often do, I know that just as well as anybody else.
00:05:36.700 We as men go into solution mode, right?
00:05:39.280 It's solution mode.
00:05:40.440 It's hard line.
00:05:41.500 It's driven.
00:05:42.260 We want to fix the problem.
00:05:43.900 And there's no problem with that except when we do it too quickly.
00:05:47.060 And what ends up happening is that we make poor decisions because we're operating from our emotions.
00:05:52.060 And it's typically these emotions manifest themselves in the form of fear and greed instead of the using the advanced portions of our brain, which is where we find reasoning and where we find logic.
00:06:04.760 So I want you to take a step back, breathe, breathe, assess the situation, choose a course of action, and don't compound the problem by making rash decisions.
00:06:16.420 Now, this leads me right into my next point, which is that if you find yourself up against a roadblock, you need to change your environment.
00:06:24.340 If you find yourself in that tough situation, the very best thing that you can do is change your environment.
00:06:30.240 This allows you to go back to the reasoning center of your brain I just talked about instead of that emotional side of it.
00:06:35.800 And I really hate to say it, but the phrase that comes up is find your happy place.
00:06:39.280 But it's a legitimately good exercise.
00:06:41.100 I'm not talking about your emotional happy place.
00:06:43.260 I'm talking about a physical place that you call your own.
00:06:46.640 It is your place.
00:06:47.600 I've got a 1,300 square foot shop that I call my quote unquote happy place.
00:06:51.920 But maybe yours is the mountains.
00:06:53.900 Maybe it's the shooting range.
00:06:55.160 Maybe it's the golf course.
00:06:56.180 It doesn't matter where it is as long as you change your environment because what this is going to do is this is going to allow you to access a new set of thoughts, new ideas, new scenarios that you can use to actually approach this dilemma and get a fresh set of eyes on this thing.
00:07:10.100 Now, the next key, guys, is to take decisive action.
00:07:12.940 At the end of the day, it's about decisive action, intentionality.
00:07:16.340 You need to be intentional.
00:07:17.380 You need to be deliberate.
00:07:18.840 You don't want to dip your toe in the water with your solution.
00:07:21.000 I want you to dive headfirst.
00:07:22.560 I want you to do a belly flop if you have to, because there's too many men out there today who are timid.
00:07:27.180 They're weak.
00:07:27.700 They take half-hearted measures.
00:07:29.580 They don't exert themselves fully.
00:07:31.440 And then they question why they're actually experiencing half the results they thought they would.
00:07:35.320 It's because they're exerting half of the effort.
00:07:38.080 So if you've used the previous keys that I talked about, you can be decisive.
00:07:43.100 Those other keys are what allows you to be decisive in your course of action.
00:07:46.240 Now, don't worry, because even if you get this action step wrong and you go headfirst into this thing, you can still pivot.
00:07:52.640 You're not pigeonholed into that course of action.
00:07:54.840 You can still pivot and do another solution.
00:07:56.780 The best thing that you can do is something.
00:07:59.500 The worst thing you can do is nothing.
00:08:02.100 So guys, when a bad situation comes up this week, I want you to use these steps.
00:08:06.920 They're not going to eliminate everything, but they will help you build up what we need.
00:08:10.160 Mental resiliency and fortitude so that we can face all of life's woes like a man, which is on our feet.
00:08:17.080 Now, really quickly, let me run through these again with you.
00:08:19.100 Number one, prepare for battle.
00:08:20.540 Number two, no emotional decisions.
00:08:23.200 Number three, change your environment.
00:08:25.240 And number four, take decisive action.
00:08:27.580 So I guess this is as good a time as any to wrap this up.
00:08:30.620 I do want to tell you about our mastermind group.
00:08:32.480 You probably know by now that we've got an elite group of guys, 120 to be exact, that are taking this information to heart.
00:08:39.440 They're applying it in their lives.
00:08:40.580 They're holding each other accountable.
00:08:42.100 They're taking calculated risks and starting new business ventures.
00:08:45.120 They're taking control of their health.
00:08:46.500 They're reconnecting with their wives and children, and they're doing it through the frameworks and the systems that we are creating inside the Iron Council.
00:08:53.980 I'm going to encourage you to join.
00:08:55.460 I'm going to ask you to invest in yourself.
00:08:57.720 I'm going to ask you to go above and beyond the conversation and actually take action on the things that I know because I see it every single day that will improve your life.
00:09:06.740 So head to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil to join us there.
00:09:10.780 In the meantime, guys, make sure that you subscribe to this show so you never miss our Friday Field Notes or our full interview show each Tuesday.
00:09:19.260 I look forward to talking with you on Tuesday of next week.
00:09:21.280 But until then, take action and live manfully.
00:09:24.700 Those are your Friday Field Notes.
00:09:26.780 Now it's time to crush your excuses.
00:09:29.100 Own your choices.
00:09:30.360 Accept responsibility and live manfully.
00:09:33.040 Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.