FFN 025： Putting Yourself First
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
227.63812
Summary
In this episode of Friday Field Notes, Ryan discusses the importance of putting yourself first, and why it is so important to do so. He also talks about the dangers of burnout, and how to prevent it from happening in your life.
Transcript
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You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.
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You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.
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Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.
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You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.
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And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.
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Men, what is going on today? Welcome to another edition of your Friday Field Notes.
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I am Ryan Michler, and I am the host and founder of Order of Man.
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Now, if you're new to the show today, this may not be the best place to start.
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Each Friday, we do a short show of my ramblings and my thoughts throughout the week,
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but we also have an interview show where I interview the world's most successful men on the planet.
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I extract their lessons, and I bring them right back to you.
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In other words, you're just going to want to subscribe.
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All right, just subscribe to the Order of Man podcast so you never miss either of our weekly shows.
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And while you're there, make sure you leave a rating and review
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so we can get the word out about what the Order of Man is and what we stand for
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Now, I just want to jump right into this one today, guys, because we don't have a lot of time.
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Today, I want to talk with you about putting yourself first.
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Now, I know this is going to be a controversial subject
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because everywhere you turn, whether that's in society or even your church,
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And while I think it's really important that we do serve
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it is impossible, guys, for us to give all that we're capable of giving
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unless each and every one of us finds a way to take care of ourselves.
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So consider for a second the last plane trip that you were on.
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Have you ever thought about why that is, though?
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The fact is that you can't be much help if you're unconscious or dead.
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But this happens in more common scenarios, too.
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Our wife is asking for us to fix the leaky faucet
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And then you have to go coach your kids' teams.
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you realize it's time for bed, only to wake up.
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And then you have to do the same thing over and over again.
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So if this is you, I commend you for wanting to help out in so many capacities.
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And that burnout is going to manifest itself in one of a few ways.
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You're going to stop the motivation, the ambition.
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And you're going to turn into a lazy slob who sits on the couch all day
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and eats bonbons or chili dogs or whatever it is that you eat.
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But second, and this is more likely, you're going to explode.
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You're going to say something to one of your clients.
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You're going to make a comment to your wife that you can't take back.
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You're going to yell at your son or your daughter.
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I've been up to my eyeballs in doing other people's quote-unquote stuff
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But they knew Ryan was a nice guy and he would be more than willing to help.
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I want to give you permission to be a little selfish.
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I want to give you permission to put yourself first.
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Now, I know a lot of you are saying, I don't need permission.
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But I want to ask you then, why aren't you putting yourself first?
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Now, I know what a lot of you are going to say.
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You're going to say, I have obligations or I have people counting on me or people need my help.
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And while I agree that might be true, you're only saying that because you've allowed yourself
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to be at the mercy of what everyone else wants, regardless, and this is the key, regardless
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So, here's a disclaimer for all of you who think that maybe I'm being a little too harsh.
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I want you to do it in a way that's meaningful to you.
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And I want you also to be able to sustain your service.
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And at the rate you're going, how long is it going to be that you'll be able to do that?
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First, I need you guys to start getting clear about what you want.
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I know that I've talked about this over and over and over again, but it seems like there's
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a lot of you who still haven't taken the time to find out what you truly want out of life.
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Ryan, I know there's more to life, but I don't know how to find it.
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Your dreams are not going to knock on your door and hit you over the head.
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See, what's happening is you're allowing yourself to be used in others' dreams.
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Because you're too lazy or too stubborn or too busy to go out and find out on your own.
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So, you need to take time every single day and reflect upon what you want and then start
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The next thing you need to do is to make your default answer, no.
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I know you want to do good by your family and your neighbors and your community, but can you
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And the other point is when you keep adding to your plate, can you really serve the other
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I used to be involved in three local charities and a fourth one came to me and asked if I'd sit
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I really thought that maybe I could make it work and that I could make a difference.
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But then I started thinking about my family and I started thinking about the other organizations
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And it made that decision to say no extremely easy.
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So, you need to make sure you're using the word no more often.
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Now, the last thing I want to share with you is that you guys need to carve out personal
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That's what I'd suggest because you can do it before anyone else is awake or if it's
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an afternoon nap or a golf session or whatever.
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As long as you carve out time for you, only you.
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Find something that energizes you, that drives you, that will allow you to come back to the
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I used to play basketball with some of the guys every Tuesday night and each week, without
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fail, we'd have somebody show up late or not at all.
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And then when we'd ask them about it, they'd always say something to the effect of, my wife
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wouldn't let me leave or I had to take care of some things.
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You need to let your wife know that this is time for you.
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So I can't get into all the nuances of putting yourself first, but I can promise you this
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guys, as we wind things down today, you will be a better man when you get a bit more selfish
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And you're just going to be a more well-rounded man.
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First, carve out 15 minutes each day to think and plan about what you want.
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Next, practice saying no to as many quote-unquote opportunities as you can this coming week.
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And last, find time in your week every day again for something that engages you.
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Don't worry about anybody else when you're doing this.
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I did everything for everybody for a long time.
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And for a long time, I was frustrated with the way my life was going.
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And it wasn't until I learned to take care of myself first that I became the husband
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and the father and the business owner I wanted to be.
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So, guys, I look forward to talking with you next week.
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But until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.
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Now it's time to crush your excuses, own your choices, accept responsibility, and live manfully.
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Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.