Order of Man - FFN 033： Be a Lighthouse

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.300 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Men.

00:00:29.360 And of course, this podcast. If you are new to the show today, welcome.

00:00:33.220 You just literally stumbled across the one-stop podcast for all things manly.

00:00:37.360 So if you're a man and you want to be a better one, you are in the right place.

00:00:40.660 We talk about everything from being a better leader in your home to starting a business to physical strength, mental fortitude,

00:00:45.980 how to be a better conversationalist, overcoming obstacles, asking for a raise,

00:00:50.860 just about any other topic that is important to you guys as men.

00:00:53.820 Now, this is a short show today. Every Friday, we release our Friday Field Notes,

00:00:57.000 which are my thoughts, ideas, inspirations that I've had throughout the week.

00:01:00.860 I package it up nicely for you.

00:01:02.300 And in about 10 minutes, I give you some inspiration to take your life to the next level.

00:01:06.700 Now, if you don't already know, we do also have an interview show, which is released each Tuesday.

00:01:12.220 I interview extremely, extremely successful entrepreneurs, world-class athletes, elite warriors, psychologists,

00:01:17.960 New York Times bestselling authors, generally anyone else who has some wisdom to share with each and every one of us.

00:01:22.340 But bottom line, guys, just subscribe, all right? Just subscribe to this podcast so you never miss a single episode

00:01:27.820 or my conversations with some incredible men doing some incredible things.

00:01:32.440 Now, with this being a short show, I just get right into the meat of the discussion.

00:01:35.980 I want to talk with you today about a concept that I've heard, and I've really latched onto this in my personal life,

00:01:41.280 and that is the idea of living your life as a lighthouse.

00:01:44.120 But before I get too much into the theory and the concept of living as a lighthouse,

00:01:48.360 I do want to give credit where credit is due. This is not a concept I came up with.

00:01:52.660 In fact, it's been around for a long time. I initially heard it from Sean Whalen,

00:01:55.800 who I believe heard it from Jesse Elder, who probably heard it from somebody else.

00:02:00.380 But regardless, I'm going to give you my spin on this.

00:02:02.500 I'm going to tell you why it's so critical that you and I as men adopt this belief and this way of living into our lives.

00:02:09.380 Now, before I tell you what it means to actually be a lighthouse,

00:02:11.840 I just want you to consider for a minute what our primary responsibilities as men are.

00:02:16.900 I've talked about this at length. It's protect, it's provide, it's preside.

00:02:20.560 So in other words, what makes you and I men is our ability to be responsible and accountable for not only ourselves,

00:02:27.040 but for those that we have an obligation to care for.

00:02:29.640 Our families, our co-workers, our employees, our neighbors, our communities,

00:02:33.280 and also those who cannot take care of themselves.

00:02:35.340 So I want you to think about that for a second. That is a huge responsibility.

00:02:38.720 Not only do we have to take care of ourselves, but we have to take care of others.

00:02:42.400 It's a tough job. It truly is, but it is our duty.

00:02:45.440 So now with that said, let's talk about the function of a lighthouse.

00:02:48.960 A lighthouse is built to save. It's built to warn. It's built to protect.

00:02:52.340 It's built to keep ships from running into land when that land is actually difficult to see.

00:02:56.820 And I think you can already see where I'm going with this.

00:02:58.900 We as men should operate our lives as lighthouses.

00:03:02.380 We save. We warn. We keep those in our care safe.

00:03:06.200 But here's where it gets a little tough and a little tricky.

00:03:08.620 A lighthouse has some restrictions.

00:03:10.440 A lighthouse cannot move.

00:03:11.920 A lighthouse cannot physically go out and rescue a boat.

00:03:15.900 A tugboat can, but a lighthouse cannot.

00:03:18.920 A lighthouse will not.

00:03:20.280 A lighthouse shines so that others can see.

00:03:23.100 It's immovable.

00:03:24.140 It's steadfast.

00:03:25.380 It's resolute.

00:03:26.580 Sounds familiar, right?

00:03:27.360 Those are the words to the introduction to this podcast.

00:03:29.580 See, the problem with acting like a tugboat when you should be acting like a lighthouse

00:03:33.220 is that you put yourself at risk for one ship.

00:03:37.860 And this is a ship that may not even want to be saved.

00:03:40.560 A ship that may end up bringing you down with it.

00:03:44.300 So as I got into the financial field, I had a trainer.

00:03:46.360 He once told me, I will never work with anyone when I can see that I care more about his success

00:03:52.540 than he does.

00:03:53.200 That is a recipe for disaster.

00:03:54.920 And I'm beginning to recognize this more and more as Order of Man expands its reach

00:03:58.940 and continues to have a larger and larger impact.

00:04:01.700 I cannot possibly save everyone by going out to rescue them one at a time.

00:04:07.020 You can't do it either.

00:04:08.040 And what I've come to notice is that more often than not, the ones that actually need

00:04:12.220 to be rescued that are calling for your help, in all reality, they want you to do it for

00:04:16.380 them.

00:04:16.920 They don't want to exert any effort of their own.

00:04:19.440 They want you to do it all.

00:04:20.960 Now, when I talk about this, this is about the time that the naysayers or the critics

00:04:25.620 of the lighthouse concept come in with something like, that's a selfish way to live your life

00:04:30.880 or isn't that one person important or don't you care about others?

00:04:34.960 That's not what I'm saying at all.

00:04:36.720 A lighthouse is selfless, guys.

00:04:39.020 It's one job is to shine so that others can see.

00:04:42.880 It doesn't do that for itself.

00:04:44.640 It does it for others.

00:04:45.580 And what I can see now is that I can have a far greater impact in people's lives by

00:04:51.240 shining bright and allowing those who are ready and more importantly, those who are

00:04:55.380 willing to exert effort of their own to see that light and actually do something about

00:05:00.940 it for themselves.

00:05:01.800 It's an empowering approach to service.

00:05:03.900 It's a hand up as opposed to a hand out.

00:05:07.100 A lighthouse, guys, is an example.

00:05:08.840 An example for his children, an example for other men, an example for his neighbors, employees,

00:05:15.820 co-workers.

00:05:16.800 A lighthouse does not adapt or conform or bend to the will of others or even what society

00:05:22.140 says about the way it should behave or what it should be doing or how it should be spending

00:05:26.000 its time and its energy and resources.

00:05:28.140 A lighthouse is the rock that others look to.

00:05:31.540 Are you acting like that rock, that lighthouse?

00:05:34.480 So I want to share with you a couple of things that you can do to let your light shine so that

00:05:37.600 others can see.

00:05:38.180 First, in order for you to serve others as the pillar of strength and stability, you

00:05:42.760 need to know what you stand for and what you don't.

00:05:46.500 This takes a ton of reflection on your part.

00:05:48.960 You need to have and know what your code of conduct is.

00:05:51.880 How are you going to behave when the waves are crashing around you?

00:05:55.040 How are you going to respond when there are those who will frankly mock you, ridicule you,

00:06:00.940 berate you for making a stand for something?

00:06:03.200 If you don't know what that looks like now, if you haven't already decided before that storm

00:06:08.120 comes crashing in, you are going to cave.

00:06:10.800 You are going to get crushed.

00:06:12.700 Next, you've got to shine.

00:06:14.120 You've got to share.

00:06:15.340 You've got to take what you know about who you are and who you aren't and you've got to

00:06:19.060 let people know.

00:06:20.360 This is difficult to do.

00:06:21.620 There's an added level of fear.

00:06:22.980 There's this fear component.

00:06:24.700 This takes courage.

00:06:25.880 What are people going to think of me?

00:06:27.700 Am I going to lose friends?

00:06:29.000 Are people going to be mad because they don't agree with the way I see the world?

00:06:32.240 You're going to get some pushback, guys.

00:06:33.920 I know I certainly have.

00:06:34.840 But unless you're willing to share, you are never going to accomplish at the level in which

00:06:39.220 you want to operate.

00:06:40.200 Winston Churchill said, you have enemies?

00:06:42.400 Good.

00:06:43.080 That means you've stood up for something at some point in your life.

00:06:46.580 When you learn to shine, regardless, regardless of what other people think of you or how they

00:06:53.460 treat you or how they look at you, congratulations because you are now a lighthouse.

00:06:58.400 Now, lastly, men, you need to stand fast.

00:07:01.180 People are going to see you shining and sharing your light and they're going to ask you to come

00:07:05.320 down.

00:07:06.080 They're going to ask you to drop your guard.

00:07:07.880 They're going to ask you to leave your post and they're going to ask you to do that for

00:07:12.480 one of two reasons in my experience.

00:07:14.080 Number one, they don't want, again, to exert any of their own effort in creating and implementing

00:07:20.560 solutions to their own problems, the problems they probably created for themselves.

00:07:24.540 They want you to do it all for them.

00:07:27.540 And second, you're too bright.

00:07:29.160 There are certain people that when they see you on that hill, they will not be inspired,

00:07:33.780 but they will be envious.

00:07:35.480 They want what you have.

00:07:37.080 They want to be who you are.

00:07:38.680 But again, they're not willing to put forth the effort required to have that.

00:07:42.580 So they'll take the easy route and ask you not to shine so brightly.

00:07:47.960 Do not fall for that, men.

00:07:49.640 Do not stop.

00:07:51.160 Do not be tempted to chase others who will not help themselves.

00:07:55.620 Do not break.

00:07:56.380 Hold that line.

00:07:57.560 Keep shining and let those who are counting on you to hold fast see you fulfill your duty

00:08:02.940 and obligation as a man.

00:08:05.500 So guys, that's what I have for you today.

00:08:07.200 If you want to learn more about the concept of being a lighthouse and how you can serve

00:08:11.840 as a beacon of light and strength for your family and your business and your community,

00:08:16.120 I want to personally invite you to join our elite mastermind, the Iron Council.

00:08:20.560 Guys, this is a group of 170 plus men working together to achieve more in their lives.

00:08:25.740 We're all there for different reasons.

00:08:27.820 Every one of us is at a different place.

00:08:29.740 We're learning new things, but we are banding together to help us accomplish big things

00:08:33.980 in each of our lives.

00:08:35.300 So if you're interested, check it out at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:08:38.560 But until next week, guys, stand strong, shine brightly, and be a lighthouse.

00:08:44.020 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:08:46.940 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:08:50.940 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - December 09, 2016

FFN 033： Be a Lighthouse

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