Order of Man - December 23, 2016


FFN 035： Invictus, The Captain of My Soul


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

202.50461

Word Count

2,086

Sentence Count

176

Misogynist Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode, Ryan talks about the 5 excuses we all of us have at some point in our lives, and how to overcome them. 1. You don t have control over your life 2. It s not your fault that bad stuff happens 3. You can t control your circumstances 4. You have no control over what happens to you 5. I am the master of my fate


Transcript

00:00:00.020 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:25.360 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man.
00:00:29.400 And guys, this is a show about helping you as a man become a better one.
00:00:33.160 A better father, a better husband, a better businessman, a better community leader, a better man.
00:00:38.600 And in case you're new, we are interviewing the world's most successful men on the planet.
00:00:42.740 Navy SEALs, elite athletes, incredible entrepreneurs, New York Times bestselling authors,
00:00:47.300 and anyone else who has a message you need to hear to help you be a better provider,
00:00:52.420 a better protector, and a leader in your life and also the lives of those you have a responsibility for.
00:00:58.080 And on top of all that, I started to get a lot of requests for more information from me,
00:01:03.280 which is why we started a second show each week, the one that you're actually listening to now,
00:01:07.020 called the Friday Field Notes.
00:01:08.240 So each Friday, I take a lesson, a story, a thought, an idea, an inspiration.
00:01:12.860 I break it down.
00:01:13.940 I give you my commentary along with some key takeaways that you can actually apply in your life.
00:01:18.120 So before we get into that today, I also wanted to let you know that you do need to subscribe to this show
00:01:23.060 if you have not already done so.
00:01:24.240 We've got some incredible guests, as we always do, but up in the coming weeks.
00:01:28.100 In fact, we've got Andy Frisilla, the MFCEO himself.
00:01:31.120 He's coming back on for the second round next week to talk about his new book.
00:01:35.040 So again, guys, subscribe so you never miss a single episode.
00:01:38.700 Now, let's just jump into the discussion today, which is the poem Invictus.
00:01:42.440 This was a poem written by William Ernest Henley, and I'm sure everybody has heard this.
00:01:46.860 It's probably a refresher for you, but I wanted to recite this poem.
00:01:50.160 Out of the night that covers me, black is the pit from pole to pole.
00:01:54.380 I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
00:01:58.400 In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud.
00:02:02.720 Under the bludgeoning of chance, my head is bloody but unbowed.
00:02:06.840 Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade,
00:02:10.980 and yet the menace of the years finds and shall find me unafraid.
00:02:15.380 It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.
00:02:20.540 I am the master of my fate.
00:02:22.760 I am the captain of my soul.
00:02:24.980 Now, if you think about this for a minute, does this even remotely sound like us generally as a population?
00:02:32.420 I would argue that most of society is the exact opposite.
00:02:36.000 That we believe or even live life as if someone else or something else is in control.
00:02:42.020 I don't care if you call it fate or destiny or something else entirely.
00:02:45.980 The problem, though, that believing or at least adhering to the notion that you don't have control over your life
00:02:51.000 is that you give away any amount of power that you have in doing something about it,
00:02:56.300 in creating a better life for yourself.
00:02:58.200 Now, inevitably, somebody always says to me,
00:03:00.860 Ryan, some things are just beyond our control.
00:03:03.000 And yes, I agree.
00:03:04.720 That is the case.
00:03:05.580 But you do have control over how you handle those situations and those circumstances.
00:03:10.520 People get divorces.
00:03:12.500 People go bankrupt.
00:03:13.580 We face natural disasters.
00:03:15.280 We face injury or illness.
00:03:17.080 The economy takes a turn for the worse on occasion.
00:03:19.360 But I can promise you that there are those who have faced overwhelming odds
00:03:22.580 and actually use those circumstances and opportunity not as an excuse.
00:03:27.300 So today I want to talk with you about excuses.
00:03:29.400 And specifically, I want to address five excuses that we're all using or have at some point used in our life.
00:03:34.340 And more importantly, I want to talk with you about the mindset that each and every one of us need to adopt in order to overcome these excuses.
00:03:43.020 So the first one, the first excuse is history.
00:03:45.860 Now, I already mentioned this briefly, but look, guys, bad stuff happens.
00:03:49.960 I personally grew up without a permanent father figure.
00:03:51.980 I've shared this before.
00:03:53.380 You may have faced something even worse than that.
00:03:55.960 And for a long time, I blamed my lack of success in my life on the fact that I just didn't have anybody guiding me when I was younger.
00:04:04.620 It was a nice excuse, but I realized that I wasn't ever going to achieve at the high levels that I wanted to achieve until I got over my past experiences.
00:04:13.180 And that's the mindset.
00:04:14.500 We all need to understand that there are expiration dates on our excuses.
00:04:18.380 That at some point, we cannot continue to blame unfortunate circumstances.
00:04:23.000 Circumstances beyond our control or even other people for our current station in life.
00:04:28.340 This is, frankly speaking, called being an adult.
00:04:31.360 Another common excuse that we craft for not moving forward in our lives is fear.
00:04:35.820 Now, this is a hard one because it disguises itself.
00:04:38.880 We aren't usually willing to admit that we're afraid.
00:04:41.220 And so we come up with other reasons for not getting the job done.
00:04:44.520 And I'm going to talk with you about that in a minute.
00:04:46.120 But we ask ourselves what other people will think, how they'll react, what they'll think of us if we take bold action.
00:04:51.540 And we actually allow those other people to dictate the course of our life simply because we're afraid of what might happen if we happen to fall short.
00:04:59.860 And the mindset that we need to adopt here is to eliminate this constant desire to explain ourselves to everybody or explain away why we didn't get the job done.
00:05:09.000 Nobody cares why.
00:05:10.660 It's just a matter of if we got it done or not.
00:05:12.660 Now, a term that I've got very good at using in my life is no excuses.
00:05:17.120 It's simple, but it's effective.
00:05:18.780 If I fall short on a project or a deadline or a goal, I'm not interested in crafting excuses.
00:05:24.560 I'm interested in understanding the reason, not the excuse, but the reason I fell short and then learning from that and moving forward.
00:05:32.720 Now, the third excuse, and I'm not sure if this is much of an excuse as it is an attitude, is pride.
00:05:38.580 Heaven forbid a man tell somebody else that he doesn't have it all figured out.
00:05:43.180 Heaven forbid that he asks for help when he needs it.
00:05:46.020 You and I have been led to believe that as men, we should, that we should have it all figured out and that it's somehow more noble of us if we go at it alone.
00:05:55.000 And that's the furthest thing from the truth.
00:05:57.240 We are a society, a collection of people.
00:06:00.520 We operate better in communities.
00:06:02.160 We operate better in packs and tribes.
00:06:04.540 And so asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
00:06:07.340 It's a sign of strength.
00:06:08.680 Reaching out to others is what allows you to learn something new and to get better in your life.
00:06:15.840 So let's all stop pretending we know everything and find people who know more about any given subject than we do.
00:06:23.040 And let's move forward collectively rather than fall behind individually for the sake of our pride.
00:06:30.460 Now, next, I want to talk about delusion.
00:06:32.620 Now, I'll admit, it's easier to plead ignorance, I know it is, than it is to sometimes and occasionally exert any amount of effort in actually finding out what the answer is.
00:06:42.540 We've all heard the term ignorance is bliss, and that may be true for the average, the mediocre, the complacent.
00:06:49.380 But simply by the fact that you're listening to this podcast tells me that's not you.
00:06:53.700 It tells me that you want more out of life and that you're actually looking for something greater.
00:06:57.960 But if you don't know, find out.
00:07:01.000 Now, I realize that sometimes we don't know what we don't know.
00:07:03.940 But if you're not experiencing the results that you want at the gym or with your marriage or in the bedroom or with your wealth,
00:07:11.300 then you can pretty well assume that you're missing something.
00:07:14.460 Learn something new, guys.
00:07:15.580 Constantly, every day, access to information and education has never been easier.
00:07:20.500 Do not sit these sidelines and say you didn't know.
00:07:23.580 Figure it out.
00:07:24.680 And then the last excuse I want to talk with you about today is comparison.
00:07:27.960 You do it.
00:07:29.020 I do it.
00:07:29.880 We all do it.
00:07:30.580 We look around at someone who seems to have it all figured out and wonder why we aren't experiencing the results that guy is.
00:07:37.020 He has more money.
00:07:38.000 He's better looking.
00:07:38.900 He has better connections.
00:07:40.380 He's smarter than I am.
00:07:41.580 And then on top of that, society is telling you that you have to do it in a certain way.
00:07:46.060 That if you do it your own way, that you're wrong.
00:07:48.580 Look around.
00:07:49.080 Look at magazines, for example, at the grocery store.
00:07:51.040 All of them, whether it's People Magazine or Guns and Ammo are telling us how to behave, how to think, what to own, who to be.
00:07:59.600 And what's interesting is that the things that make you and I unique, the things that set us apart, the things that we've been trying to hide in the name of conformity are the very things that are going to help us excel.
00:08:09.060 You aren't me.
00:08:10.260 I'm not you.
00:08:11.420 I'm not going to compare myself to what you're doing.
00:08:13.620 I'm going to do it my way and I'm going to let the chips fall where they may.
00:08:16.660 Yeah, I might fall short.
00:08:18.140 I might fall short of doing it your way too.
00:08:20.500 So I might as well do it in a way that's meaningful and significant to me.
00:08:24.120 So there you have it, guys.
00:08:25.320 Skimming the surface on the five excuses that most of us adhere to and the mindset that we need to adopt to overcome them.
00:08:30.520 So let's recap.
00:08:31.280 The first one, again, history.
00:08:33.480 The second one is our fear.
00:08:34.940 The third one is our pride.
00:08:36.300 The fourth one is the delusion that we all run in.
00:08:38.760 And the fifth one is comparison.
00:08:40.980 So if you want to learn more about the mindset that's going to help you control your own destiny that will allow you to become the captain of your soul,
00:08:47.840 I want to personally invite you to join our mastermind.
00:08:51.360 It's called the Iron Council.
00:08:52.520 Guys, this is a collection of men that are doing more than just talking about being better men.
00:08:57.120 They're actually doing something about it.
00:08:59.200 We're heavily focused on our 12-week battle plan right now,
00:09:01.420 which is the system that we've created and used to identify key objectives in four domains.
00:09:06.660 Our relationships, our health, our wealth, and our self.
00:09:09.820 But more importantly, we're also working together in identifying tactics.
00:09:13.540 Tactics.
00:09:14.100 These are the things that are going to allow us to actually accomplish those objectives.
00:09:18.020 No hoping, no wishing, no dreaming.
00:09:20.660 We're just doing.
00:09:21.800 And of course, you'll have the accountability that you need to stay that course.
00:09:25.100 So if you want to learn more, you can go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:09:28.060 We would be honored to have you.
00:09:29.440 But in the meantime, guys, remember Invictus.
00:09:31.900 You are the master of your fate.
00:09:33.820 You are the captain of your soul.
00:09:35.860 I'll look forward to talking to you next week.
00:09:37.140 But until then, take action and live manfully.
00:09:40.480 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:43.440 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:09:47.480 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:09:50.600 For more information, visit Research.com.
00:09:52.160 Thank you.
00:09:57.060 We'll be right back.
00:09:58.920 Thank you.
00:10:00.340 Thank you.
00:10:00.940 And I can optimistic.
00:10:01.820 Thank you.
00:10:02.980 I canala Harris.
00:10:07.800 Thank you.
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00:10:14.440 Thank you.
00:10:14.840 Thank you.
00:10:15.300 Thank you.
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00:10:17.140 Thank you.