In this episode, Ryan Michler shares a simple formula that has helped him overcome many of life's challenges and obstacles. It's a formula that can help you overcome just about any challenge you may find yourself in. You are responsible for what you do with your life, no one else, just you.
00:00:00.000You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:25.420Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man.
00:00:29.600If you have been with us for any amount of time, you know what we're all about here.
00:00:33.160But if you're listening for the very first time, I do want to welcome you to the best show available for men in the world of podcasting.
00:00:40.420This is not, guys, the only show that we do each week.
00:00:42.980We also have an interview show, which I release each and every Tuesday, where we interview the world's most successful men with regards to their businesses, their level of wealth, their fitness, their overall life.
00:00:53.720What we do is we extract their lessons. We share them with you each and every week.
00:00:57.880But for now, you guys are stuck with me. You're stuck with my thoughts, my ideas, my insights, my inspirations from throughout the week.
00:01:03.760I like to keep these ones short, usually under about 10 minutes.
00:01:06.480So let me tell you really quickly that you can learn more about what we're doing at orderofman.com.
00:01:11.060And while you're there, make sure that you check out what we're doing inside of our exclusive mastermind, The Iron Council, which can be found at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:01:18.880Now, let me get on to the discussion for today. We've got a pretty thriving Facebook community.
00:01:23.060And one of the underlying themes I see quite a bit there is setbacks and struggles, trials, adversity, obstacles.
00:01:29.920But more importantly, there are so many questions about how to overcome what I refer to as expected unexpected in life.
00:01:38.080The things that you know are going to happen, you just don't know what they are and when they'll be.
00:01:42.640So this show is going to be tough because I can't obviously go through every scenario in which you're going to find yourself on a daily basis over the next eight minutes.
00:01:50.820But what I can do is I can give you a three part formula that I've used in my life here on this spinning rock that has helped me overcome some major hurdles, hurdles that many of you have probably experienced or are even in the middle of them right now.
00:02:05.200You know, I've been fat. I've been broke. I've been depressed. I've had failing businesses.
00:02:09.340I almost lost my marriage at one point. And I can tell you that the simple strategy I want to share with you today, although it's not easy, can help you overcome just about any challenge that you may find yourself in.
00:02:20.400But before I share that formula with you, I need you to understand something.
00:02:24.400If you don't already know this, you are responsible for what you do with your life.
00:02:29.420No one else, just you. Yes, you can have friends. Yes, you can have mentors.
00:02:33.520Yes, you can have a support group or a team.
00:02:35.460But at the end of the day, and regardless of their effort and help and resources, it is up to you to build the life you want.
00:02:43.360And that means at times you're going to have to face some things alone.
00:02:46.420You're going to have to stare down whatever trial you have to and figure out a way to go around, over, under, through those things that might have pinned you down.
00:02:58.900And so now that you know it's up to you, let's talk about this because we needed to create that as the foundation, as the framework for the rest of the discussion.
00:03:06.700My formula for overcoming any setbacks is simply to regroup, recalibrate, and reengage.
00:03:15.000So let's discuss this. Let's break this down. Let's talk about what this means.
00:03:19.080First, regroup. If you're anything like me, you are a man of action.
00:03:23.120That's probably why you're listening to the show. You see a problem, you fix it. You're on a mission. You're a closer. That's good.
00:03:29.440I believe that that attitude is going to help you and me go far in life.
00:03:34.080But the reality is there are some things in life that can't be solved with raw aggression and determination.
00:03:41.860The action that you and I are taking right now may be the very action that has created the problem that we're experiencing in the first place.
00:03:49.740I know, for example, when my wife and I decided to call it quits almost eight years ago, that my knee-jerk reaction was that I have to fix this.
00:03:57.920So what did I do? I called her all the time. I sent her messages all the time. I tried to convince her that I had changed.
00:04:04.080I tried to force her in a way to come back to me. But the reality of that play was that I probably caused more harm than good.
00:04:11.720And I actually drove a greater wedge further into our relationship.
00:04:16.120So let's face it. Sometimes we're like a bull in the china shop. I've never in my life found a time where more aggression, more agitation, more force, more domination has worked when what I was doing in the first place wasn't working.
00:04:32.380So more of the same action is definitely not going to work. Now, a lot of guys will look at this regrouping phase as retreating.
00:04:39.540It's not. Regrouping is an opportunity for you to pause. It's an opportunity for you to call a timeout, for you to give yourself the space and the margin that you need to move on to the next steps that I'm going to be sharing with you.
00:04:51.460Albert Einstein said, you cannot solve problems with the same level of thinking that created them.
00:04:56.060You need to regroup. Pause for a second. Consider what is actually happening to you and around you.
00:05:02.240Remove yourself from the situation. Get rid of the possible anger, contention, frustration, anything that you might be experiencing and allow yourself some time so you can reflect on the emotions of fear and anger, resentment, bitterness, the hostility even that you might be experiencing at that given moment and bring in an outside perspective.
00:05:24.300Call in your band of brothers. Get another voice, another point of view, opinion, anything to help you see differently than the way that you currently are.
00:05:31.520Do not force it, fellas. It's not going to work. And if force does happen to work, it's only going to be temporary.
00:05:38.820So the next step is to recalibrate. Think about this in the context of shooting.
00:05:43.100When you're sighting in your firearm, what do you do? Do you shoot as many rounds as you have only to go through and check how your shots are aligning after you've expended all your ammo?
00:05:52.440No, you take three to five shots. Then you evaluate your accuracy. You come back, you make the adjustments you need.
00:05:58.380Then you take a couple more shots, then evaluate, come back, take a couple more. You do that over and over and over again until you're consistently hitting center mass.
00:06:06.440This is what I mean by recalibrate. You've regrouped. You've surrounded yourself with other people who are going to give you a new perspective.
00:06:12.800Now you need to strategize. What happened? Why did it happen? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?
00:06:18.620What are the possible outcomes of this scenario? What would I like to see happen? If I behave a certain way, if I do this, what is the probable reaction of that?
00:06:29.960This is about securing your assets. It's about recognizing your liabilities. It's emphasizing your strengths. And it's also mitigating your weaknesses.
00:06:37.700Now you're in the position to make a move. You're in the position to do what is right, free from the misinterpretations of your emotions and the heat of the moment that you found yourself in.
00:06:48.180And it's free from wanting to get revenge or even doing something stupid out of spite. I've been there.
00:06:53.060This, man, is the intelligent process. Any male out there can behave irrationally. We call that behaving like a boy.
00:07:00.620Anyway, my sons, they throw temper tantrums when my wife and I tell them it's time for bed.
00:07:04.800But no rational man is going to throw a temper tantrum when he knows he has to get some sleep.
00:07:08.860It would be absolutely ridiculous if he did.
00:07:11.520But consider how many temper tantrums you throw throughout your week at your kids, at your ex, at your boss, at your clients, at your coworkers.
00:07:19.480Just sit and think about that for a minute.
00:07:21.400You know it's more than you probably would like to admit.
00:07:23.520And this is why it's critical that you regroup and second recalibrate, which then leads us into the third component of this, re-engage.
00:07:31.200And this step oftentimes can be the most difficult.
00:07:33.340I'll give an example of this. When my oldest son was three years old, we put him on the back of a relatively mild pony and he was excited about it.
00:07:40.380And because he was so excited, he got that pony excited and it kicked him off.
00:07:44.820Of course, my son didn't want to get back on the horse, but we talked with him about getting back on and he did and all was well.
00:07:50.380But ask yourself, after hearing that, how many times you've fallen off the horse and you haven't got back on?
00:07:57.880At any point in your life, have you been rejected by someone you loved and waited too long to get back into the dating scene?
00:08:05.700Have you failed in a business and thought because it happened once, it's going to happen again?
00:08:10.960Have you gone into the gym to get into shape and felt so awkward and even ashamed about the way you look so you decided to never go to the gym again?
00:08:20.620Or have you been part of an organization or a company where someone may have said something to you that completely pissed you off and you wrote off the entire company or organization?
00:08:31.080I have, you have, every single one of us has done this.
00:08:34.080It's human nature, guys, to avoid pain, your mind, your body, your soul.
00:08:38.420It's telling you not to get back on the horse because you might get your ass handed to you again.
00:08:45.940But you've got to decide right now, are you going to live life in the corner in fear and never do anything worthwhile because you're afraid?
00:08:53.400Or are you going to take that bold leap into the unknown, give it another shot at the risk of failing again, but knowing full well that this is the only path to success?
00:09:09.080Now, the question is, will you go do it?
00:09:11.180Gentlemen, that's what I have for you today.
00:09:13.640Regroup, recalibrate, and most importantly, re-engage.
00:09:17.580If you want to learn more about how to do this in your life most effectively, I again want to invite you to join me and the other 200 plus men inside of the Iron Council.
00:09:25.300This is our elite mastermind dedicated to helping you implement these strategies we talked about today and, of course, a ton more.
00:09:32.260You're going to have the guidance, the tools, the direction, the resources, and the accountability to take your life to the next level as a man.
00:09:39.400So learn more and join us at orderaman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:09:43.040Until next week, men, when life gets challenging, regroup, recalibrate, and above all, re-engage.
00:09:50.920Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:53.880If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.