Order of Man - FFN 041： Masculine Sovereignty, Part II

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am

00:00:27.860 the host and founder of Order of Man. I am glad that you're tuning in today and I want to welcome

00:00:32.020 you to what I would consider to be the best podcast available for men. But of course, I know that I am

00:00:37.340 a bit biased. Now, before I get into the discussion today, the Friday Field Notes today, which is

00:00:41.620 actually a follow-up to part one on masculine sovereignty, which I started last week, I do

00:00:46.580 want to give you a couple of quick resources that you can tap into if you want to take the concepts

00:00:50.660 that we talk about here on the podcast to the next level. So first, you can get the transcript for

00:00:55.660 this show at orderofman.com slash FFN as in Friday Field Notes. So FFN 041. Second, make sure you join

00:01:03.220 our closed Facebook group. We've got just about 19,000 men in there and we are having, as a lot

00:01:08.960 of you guys know, some incredible conversations about what it means to be a man. We talk about

00:01:13.200 leadership, dating, relationships, making money, raising sons and daughters, asking for job promotions,

00:01:19.840 just about anything else that you may be interested in as a man. And third, we've got an exciting

00:01:25.040 live event coming up on April 27th through the 30th of this year, 2017. I'm not going to get too

00:01:31.340 much into that discussion for now for the sake of time, but we will be having 25 men from all over

00:01:35.960 the country flying into Las Vegas. Then we'll be driving to a cabin in the mountains of Southern

00:01:39.700 Utah. And my design, our goal is to give you the tools, the strategy, the skills, and the practical

00:01:45.320 information you need to be a better man. So if you're interested in that event, jump on it quickly,

00:01:50.460 guys, because we are already close to selling out. You can learn more. You can check out some of the

00:01:54.300 footage from last year's event and also claim your spot at order of man.com slash uprising. Now

00:01:59.600 with all that said and done and out of the way, let's have this discussion, the follow-up discussion

00:02:04.060 about masculine sovereignty. I'm not going to give you a lot of backstory here because again,

00:02:08.640 this is part two to the conversation that we started having last week. So if you haven't heard

00:02:12.480 last week's Friday field notes, go back, listen to that. So you can get some context for the rest of

00:02:17.160 the conversation that we're going to have today. Now, last week I covered six principles of

00:02:22.060 individual sovereignty, which I try to live by and I try to implement in my life. And those six are

00:02:27.100 no one owes you a thing. Everything in life is a choice. Focus only on what you can control,

00:02:33.900 operate in reality, accept responsibility, and be accountable to yourself. So again, if you want

00:02:40.040 more details, you want to dive further into those six head to order of man.com slash FFN is in Friday

00:02:45.420 field notes, FFN 040. Now let's get to the next six principles today. The first one, do not get

00:02:53.080 offended. Learn. Look, we live in a world where everyone seems to be offended about everything.

00:02:59.820 And if anyone happens to disagree with another person, they automatically treat it as an insult

00:03:04.960 or a personal attack. And they go on that defensive and they go on that offensive immediately.

00:03:09.960 If you find yourself taking offense to everything, I would suggest that you have some confidence

00:03:16.280 issues that you need to work on. If you can't let the fact go that someone else may see things

00:03:21.120 a little bit differently than you, you've got some serious issues to work out. And the other element

00:03:25.800 of this is your pride and it's your ego. Our pride, our ego, our desire to be right all the time is

00:03:31.100 hindering our ability to learn new things. And every time somebody disagrees with us, it is an

00:03:36.500 opportunity to gain new insights, to gain new perspectives into how we might actually improve

00:03:42.580 our lives. So if you really want to grow, you won't take offense to everything. You'll learn

00:03:47.660 from that opposing view. Second, if you mess up, make it right. All of us mess up. It's human nature.

00:03:54.660 It is in our nature to get things wrong. Most people, they actually make those mistakes worse by denying it

00:04:01.660 or even worse than that, compounding the problem by not fessing up to it and making that situation

00:04:08.500 right. So if you yell at your kids, for example, unnecessarily, apologize for it quickly. If you

00:04:14.940 drop the ball on a project, fess up, get back on top of it. If you've wronged somebody, make amends.

00:04:21.600 It doesn't make you weak to apologize. It makes you weak not to. So if you catch yourself having to

00:04:28.780 apologize over and over and over again, maybe just maybe you'll start considering doing it right in

00:04:35.840 the first place. And if you're not willing to apologize and rectify the situation, when you

00:04:40.380 get it wrong, you guys are never going to change your behavior. Don't be stubborn. If you mess up,

00:04:46.160 make it right. Now, the third principle I want to share with you is stop seeking other people's 0.97

00:04:51.460 approval. I used to do this all the time. I used to change my thoughts and my ideas and my beliefs

00:04:56.140 and my actions to appease other people. I was a people pleaser. And the more I did it, the more I

00:05:02.540 realized that not only is it impossible, it's actually a recipe for disaster and satisfaction

00:05:07.300 and fulfillment in your life. Regardless of what you do, you could be reading from the Bible

00:05:12.760 and somebody is going to be upset. Not everyone is going to be happy. And the more you change who you

00:05:18.780 are, the more unsatisfied and frustrated you are going to be in your life because there will be a huge

00:05:24.760 gaping void or disconnect between what you believe and what you do. So stop trying to please

00:05:32.120 everybody. Stop trying to get their approval or their permission. You have ideas, you have

00:05:36.460 inspirations, you have thoughts. Act on those things without the need or even desire to see or find out

00:05:41.540 what other people think. Now, this isn't permission to be reckless, but it is permission for you to do

00:05:47.700 what you want to do and have faith knowing that you already know the best way moving forward for

00:05:53.500 yourself. Next component, understand your emotions. As men, we are led to believe all the time that we

00:05:59.280 should suppress our emotions. That even the quote-unquote negative emotions we experience

00:06:03.620 are bad and they should be avoided. Then we hear about the concept of stoicism and we think that we

00:06:10.120 should hide those emotions even further. But that's not what stoicism is about. Stoicism is about

00:06:14.580 understanding your emotions so they can serve you more effectively and also those that you care about.

00:06:19.440 It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be jealous. It's okay to be sad. Emotions,

00:06:25.640 even the negative ones, are indicators. Indicators that something is working or something is not.

00:06:31.560 So when you feel these emotions bubbling up, stop, breathe, and try to take a minute to understand

00:06:38.220 what those emotions are telling you so you can make the best decision moving forward and then you

00:06:42.720 can act accordingly. It's okay to be angry, guys. Sometimes that's appropriate. But how you respond

00:06:49.440 to that anger may not be. So really strive to understand what your emotions are telling you.

00:06:55.700 Next, execute relentlessly. So many people get caught up in paralysis by analysis. They strategize,

00:07:01.440 they plan, they overthink so much, and then they never do what it is they were thinking about doing.

00:07:05.400 They never take that action. Ideas are great, but they're cheap. Show me a man who's willing to

00:07:11.580 execute even an under-articulated plan, then go back to the drawing board, then execute again,

00:07:18.420 and I will show you a man who is going to succeed in life eventually. You're going to mess up. You're

00:07:25.020 not going to get it right. You're going to trip and fall. People who aren't willing to execute will

00:07:29.280 probably mock you when you do. As we watch the Super Bowl, for example, this weekend, we are going

00:07:34.060 to hear from all the critics and all the armchair quarterbacks who never once dared to actually step

00:07:39.120 onto the field. It actually reminds me of The Man in the Arena by Teddy Roosevelt. I'm going to read

00:07:43.880 this to you because it is so powerful if you wrap your head around this concept. It is not the critic

00:07:48.640 who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could

00:07:54.080 have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred

00:07:59.720 by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again, because

00:08:06.600 there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who

00:08:12.840 knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best

00:08:19.020 knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while

00:08:25.840 daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know

00:08:31.600 victory nor defeat. Are you daring enough to get into the arena? That gentleman is what makes us men.

00:08:39.760 And the last thing I want to share with you today is that you need to learn from your mistakes. I'm

00:08:43.460 not going to dive too deep into this one because we already talked about it a little already.

00:08:46.820 You're going to mess up, right? It's part of the deal, but what's not part of the deal is to keep

00:08:50.980 making the same mistakes over and over and over again. If something isn't working and you keep

00:08:57.080 falling prey to that thing, you have not adequately learned your lesson yet. You don't need to continue

00:09:04.360 to struggle. You don't need to keep doing the same things over and over again. Sometimes you need to

00:09:10.060 try something new. You need to reflect upon an exercise or your day to see what actually went wrong.

00:09:16.080 Then go back to that drawing board and make it work better next time. Gentlemen, that is what I had

00:09:21.160 to share with you today. Remember those six principles. Do not get offended. Learn. If you mess up,

00:09:26.980 make it right. Do not seek other people's approval. Understand your emotions. Execute relentlessly

00:09:32.340 and learn from your mistakes. Those are seven through 12 of the 12 that I've actually now

00:09:37.980 shared with you. The first six again can be found at order of man.com slash FFN is in Friday field

00:09:42.920 notes FFN 040. If you have not already listened to that, remember to guys to check out our live event,

00:09:48.680 the uprising, which can be found at order of man.com slash uprising. So you can claim your spots.

00:09:53.820 I hope to see you there until next week. Remember the principles of masculine sovereignty,

00:09:58.800 implement them in your life and become the man you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the

00:10:04.040 order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant

00:10:09.060 to be. We invite you to join the order and order of man.com.

Order of Man - February 03, 2017

FFN 041： Masculine Sovereignty, Part II

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