Order of Man - February 17, 2017


FFN 043： The Burden of Proof


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

213.65396

Word Count

2,005

Sentence Count

133

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode, I discuss the concept of the "Burden of proof" and how it applies to the context of being a better man. I also talk about why this concept is becoming more and more prevalent in the world of business, family and society.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:25.360 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Brian Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man.
00:00:29.580 I don't care if you've been listening to us since we started almost two years ago or you're just tuning in for the first time today.
00:00:34.380 I want to welcome you to what I tell you every week, that this is the manliest podcast available for men today.
00:00:39.180 So if you're trying to be a better man, you are in the right place.
00:00:42.300 Now, if you don't already know this, you get to listen to me ramble for the next 10 minutes or so about some of my thoughts and my ramblings and ideas from throughout the week.
00:00:49.900 But we also have an interview show each and every week where I interview the world's most successful men.
00:00:53.940 I extract their lessons, the ones they learn from the battlefield, business, boardroom, the family, just about every area of life, and then we deliver them to you.
00:01:02.740 So make sure you subscribe to this show if you've not already done that.
00:01:05.820 I don't want you to miss a single Friday field notes.
00:01:07.700 I don't want you to miss the Tuesday interviews.
00:01:09.660 And then while you're there, I need to ask you a favor.
00:01:11.520 Please, if you would, leave us a rating and review.
00:01:13.540 If you've ever got a single ounce of value from this show or my guest, please just take two minutes, leave us a rating and review.
00:01:20.220 Those really do go a long way in helping us get the order of man message out into the world.
00:01:24.940 Now, like I said before, I hope all is going well with you.
00:01:27.760 Things are going well for me on the home front.
00:01:29.900 The business is good.
00:01:30.720 The family's good.
00:01:31.800 And exciting news that I wanted to share with you guys.
00:01:33.940 We just picked up a new puppy, a German Shepherd.
00:01:35.980 So although I haven't got much sleep over the past couple of nights, it's worth it because my kids are happy.
00:01:41.440 And I'm surprised actually how many of our listeners are German Shepherd owners.
00:01:44.760 And I didn't find this out until I posted a picture a couple of days ago.
00:01:47.460 So if you are a German Shepherd owner and you have some training resources, ideas, insights, whatever that may be, drop me a line if you would.
00:01:55.000 Let me know because me and my oldest son are going to be training him together.
00:01:58.120 Now, guys, let's just jump into the show today.
00:02:00.720 I want to talk with you about a legal concept, which is the term the burden of proof.
00:02:05.100 Oh, and before I get into that really quickly, I do need to remind you about our Facebook group.
00:02:09.100 I think we just hit 21,000 members.
00:02:11.920 If you want to be a better man, you'll want to join us in the discussion that we're having on Facebook at facebook.com slash groups slash order of men.
00:02:20.040 All right, burden of proof.
00:02:20.980 Most of you know this is a legal term.
00:02:23.040 So here in America, you are innocent until proven guilty, right?
00:02:25.840 We all know this.
00:02:26.820 And most of us know that if someone is charged with a crime, it is on the prosecution to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that that individual did in fact commit the crime.
00:02:36.200 No surprise on that.
00:02:37.580 But how does this apply to the context of being a better man?
00:02:40.440 That's what I want to talk with you about today.
00:02:42.180 I want to talk with you about how this concept will make you a better man.
00:02:44.760 I want to talk with you about what it means and also how you can incorporate this line of thinking to get more done for yourself.
00:02:50.980 And then, of course, be more influential in the lives of those that you care about.
00:02:55.800 So let me give you a little insight into what I see most men doing and the way a lot of men are approaching their lives.
00:03:01.740 In fact, I think this line of thinking that I'm going to talk with you about is becoming more and more prevalent.
00:03:05.920 And what I'm talking about is the thought that somebody owes you something.
00:03:10.900 And in the context of the conversation that I want to have with you today, that someone owes you their loyalty or somebody owes you their support or their guidance or their direction or even their allegiance, if you will.
00:03:23.160 When in all reality, I think most of us would do well to remember that no one owes you or me a thing.
00:03:29.380 If you're starting a business, your wife is not obligated to support you.
00:03:33.780 If you're starting that business, your friends are not obligated to buy something from you.
00:03:38.780 If you're looking for a job promotion, your boss is not obligated to invest his time, his money, or even his energy into you.
00:03:47.480 That is all on us.
00:03:48.980 Should our wives and our bosses and our friends support us?
00:03:52.600 Maybe, but rather than deal in hypotheticals and the way that we wish life should be, let's instead decide to operate in reality.
00:04:01.000 I've talked about this before and take the position that it is on us.
00:04:06.220 It's on you.
00:04:07.240 It's on me to prove, to prove that we're worthy of that support, the guidance, the direction, the investment, basically anything we're asking somebody else to provide for us.
00:04:18.100 See, I hear things like I'm starting a business and my wife doesn't support me.
00:04:22.240 So this is real talk here.
00:04:23.580 She might actually believe in the business.
00:04:25.880 She might actually believe in that idea, but it's you that she doesn't believe in.
00:04:32.140 I know that's harsh.
00:04:33.160 I know that's not fun to hear, but that is the reality in some cases.
00:04:37.620 And I know there's been a lot of times in my marriage where I would ask my wife to support me in some crazy idea or project, even order of man.
00:04:45.480 And I just wouldn't feel the support that I was hoping to get from her.
00:04:49.700 But if I took a minute and I really asked myself why that was the case, why was I not experiencing that support?
00:04:57.340 It would have been painfully obvious that I hadn't had a track record of sticking to my word.
00:05:03.740 I told her I'd be a good husband and I wasn't up to that point.
00:05:07.960 I told her I'd be a good dad and I was letting her down in that department.
00:05:11.620 I told her we were going to be okay financially.
00:05:13.720 And the fact of the matter was, is that we weren't.
00:05:16.640 And believe it or not, then I had the audacity to ask why she didn't believe in me.
00:05:21.840 Why should she?
00:05:23.260 Why should your wife believe in you?
00:05:24.840 Why should your boss believe in you?
00:05:26.520 Why should your clients believe in you?
00:05:28.520 Should they prove it?
00:05:29.880 Prove you're a worthy investment of their time and of their energy and their money and their resources.
00:05:35.060 But before anybody gets fired up about this and says something like,
00:05:37.980 my wife agreed when she married me that she'd support me or my boss agreed when he hired me.
00:05:42.840 I want you to understand that that might be true.
00:05:45.500 It might be true that they agreed to do that.
00:05:47.420 But let me ask you this.
00:05:48.520 How does that thought serve you?
00:05:51.980 It might be true, but how does it serve you?
00:05:55.320 And this is where the burden of proof comes in, guys.
00:05:57.540 You really want her support.
00:05:58.920 You really want your boss to invest in you.
00:06:01.360 You really want your clients to buy from you.
00:06:03.520 Then it's on you to prove that they should.
00:06:07.040 So how do you do this?
00:06:08.460 Very simply, guys, you become a man of your word.
00:06:11.660 If you say you're going to do something around the house, you do it.
00:06:14.940 If you tell a client you're going to call him at 3 o'clock, you call him or her at 3 o'clock.
00:06:19.780 If you tell your boss that you'll have a project done by Friday,
00:06:24.540 you'd better have the project done by Friday.
00:06:27.380 No excuses for this.
00:06:28.380 And every time you miss a deadline, a project or an expectation or an agreement,
00:06:33.360 you give away a piece of your integrity and you lessen the ability and even desire for other people to believe in you.
00:06:41.000 Most of us, myself included, develop these patterns of letdown over months and years and even decades
00:06:49.140 on the seemingly insignificant little promises that we make to the people that we care about,
00:06:55.580 even our children.
00:06:57.040 And then we look back and we wonder why no one believes in or supports us.
00:07:00.760 Guys, we can do better at this.
00:07:02.200 And I urge you to keep in mind and I try to remember that the trust we hope people place in us is not required by them.
00:07:09.040 Let me say that again.
00:07:10.140 The trust we hope people place in us is not required by them.
00:07:16.160 It's earned.
00:07:17.700 And as you know by now, after any amount of time listening to this show,
00:07:20.940 that our job as men is to protect.
00:07:23.320 It's to provide.
00:07:24.500 It's to preside.
00:07:25.180 And we cannot fully do that.
00:07:26.980 We cannot fully be the men that we're meant to be.
00:07:29.860 We cannot fully fulfill our obligations.
00:07:32.460 We cannot fully influence the people we care about until we recognize and adopt into our lives
00:07:39.220 that the burden of proof falls on our shoulders.
00:07:43.360 We need to be men of substance.
00:07:45.420 We need to be there physically and emotionally for our children.
00:07:49.760 We need to bring home the bacon, if you will, for our families.
00:07:53.260 We need to do the things that we say that we'll do.
00:07:57.200 We need to hit deadlines.
00:07:58.300 We need to fulfill our promises.
00:07:59.640 We need to remember that our word is our bond.
00:08:02.820 And when we prove that and we show those that we care about,
00:08:06.900 that we can actually be men who can be relied upon,
00:08:10.480 we won't even need to ask for support anymore because it will be evident that we have it.
00:08:16.480 Guys, if you want to learn more about how to do this,
00:08:18.860 if you want to learn about how to fulfill the obligations you make,
00:08:21.680 if you want to be the man you were meant to be,
00:08:23.520 if you want others to believe in you because you're a man worth believing in,
00:08:27.880 I encourage you to join the Iron Council.
00:08:30.380 This is our exclusive mastermind.
00:08:31.800 It's reserved for men who are willing to do more than they talk about doing.
00:08:35.440 They're willing to take on the challenges that we offer inside of the Iron Council.
00:08:39.180 They're willing to invest their time and their energy and money to the cause of becoming
00:08:43.240 the man they were meant to be for themselves and the people relying upon them.
00:08:47.740 So if you want to learn more about what we're up to and join us in this mission,
00:08:51.360 head to orderaman.com slash Iron Council to reserve your spot.
00:08:54.980 Again, that's orderaman.com slash Iron Council.
00:08:57.000 But until next week, gentlemen, take action, become the man you were meant to be,
00:09:00.700 and remember the burden of proof falls upon us.
00:09:04.280 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:07.180 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:09:10.860 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.
00:09:14.340 Order of Man podcast.
00:09:22.520 See you in the Order of Man.