Order of Man - March 03, 2017


FFN 045： The Origins of Order of Man


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

199.36157

Word Count

2,290

Sentence Count

163

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

On this episode of Friday Field Notes, Ryan Michler talks about why he started Order of Man and why it s become a movement that literally spans the entire planet and has impacted hundreds of thousands of men all across the globe.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man.
00:00:30.780 As always, gentlemen, I am glad that you are back again with us today.
00:00:34.820 If you don't already know this, a lot of you do. If you don't, you are listening to our Friday Field Notes.
00:00:39.740 This is a 10-minute or so show where I talk about some of the things that are just bouncing around in my brain.
00:00:44.960 But we also have a show that's an interview, a conversational-type show that is released each and every Tuesday.
00:00:50.120 Make sure you subscribe to this podcast, and you're never going to miss either one of those shows.
00:00:54.300 Now, I've gotten a lot of questions lately about why I started Order of Man,
00:00:57.920 and since this month actually marks my two-year anniversary of Order of Man,
00:01:03.000 I figured I'd give you a little insight into why I even started this project,
00:01:06.660 and now and how it's become a movement that literally spans the entire planet
00:01:11.860 and has impacted hundreds of thousands of men.
00:01:15.660 And as I was thinking about what I wanted to talk with you about today,
00:01:17.960 I was thinking that it has been two years since I talked about the origins of Order of Man
00:01:24.540 and did my very first podcast, which is at orderofman.com slash 001.
00:01:29.400 That makes sense.
00:01:30.500 And a YouTube video, believe it or not.
00:01:33.220 And after watching this YouTube video, it's pretty funny to see.
00:01:36.300 I had no clue what the hell I was doing,
00:01:38.160 and my beard was significantly shorter than it is today.
00:01:42.220 So you might want to check that out to get a good laugh.
00:01:44.040 Now, before I get too much into this conversation
00:01:46.600 and give you some of my takeaways from the last couple of years,
00:01:48.900 I do want to give you very quickly a couple of resources
00:01:52.080 if you're listening to this and you want more.
00:01:54.680 So first, and this is a no-brainer, you have to do this one.
00:01:57.140 We've got a closed Facebook group with just under 24,000 members,
00:02:00.520 which you can find at facebook.com slash groups slash Order of Man.
00:02:04.100 And second, you're probably sick of me talking about this,
00:02:07.280 but this is probably the last week you're going to need to hear it.
00:02:09.340 We've got a live event called The Uprising
00:02:11.340 that is going to be held April 27th through the 30th of this year, 2017.
00:02:16.120 We have one spot remaining.
00:02:18.920 I opened this up again a week or two weeks ago
00:02:22.000 because we had a demand for that, but we've got one spot.
00:02:25.520 This is it. That's it.
00:02:26.900 Once that spot's filled, we're closing the doors.
00:02:28.680 You can get the details at orderofman.com slash uprising.
00:02:32.000 And third, make sure you consider joining our exclusive mastermind
00:02:35.180 with men who have raised their hand, have said,
00:02:37.540 I am willing to do the work required to see the results I'm after in my life.
00:02:42.500 And you can learn more about who we are
00:02:43.940 and what we're doing at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:02:47.740 Now, let's jump into the conversation I wanted to have with you today.
00:02:50.920 As I mentioned before, we started this project two years ago.
00:02:54.460 In fact, I was thinking about what I wanted to talk with you about.
00:02:57.240 And I noticed that our very first podcast was released March 24th, 2015.
00:03:02.140 And what I can tell you is that it has been an incredible journey.
00:03:06.580 It really has been exciting.
00:03:08.260 A lot of you guys know that I am a financial advisor by trade.
00:03:10.940 I have been for nearly a decade.
00:03:12.120 And I actually started a podcast in another life
00:03:14.440 geared towards helping healthcare professionals
00:03:16.220 with their financial planning.
00:03:18.500 I did about 20 episodes and I realized very quickly
00:03:21.140 that I really enjoyed the medium of podcasting,
00:03:24.460 but I wanted to have deeper conversations.
00:03:26.740 I wanted to have more meaningful conversations
00:03:28.200 about some things that have always been on my mind.
00:03:31.000 And many of you know that I grew up without a permanent father figure.
00:03:35.880 In fact, a lot of you guys listening to this probably did as well.
00:03:38.540 I actually had three different father figures as I was growing up.
00:03:41.700 And what I can tell you is that none of them
00:03:43.660 were very great examples for me to follow as I got married
00:03:47.140 and I started having children of my own.
00:03:49.400 In high school, I always felt a little out of place.
00:03:52.040 Confidence was a huge, huge issue for me.
00:03:55.040 You wouldn't know it now because I've done a lot of work on myself
00:03:57.000 to grow my confidence.
00:03:57.940 But the biggest manifestation of this issue of confidence
00:04:02.260 was a desire for me to fit in with the crowd.
00:04:05.560 I wanted to sit at the cool kids table.
00:04:07.720 Fortunately for me, I was a decent athlete,
00:04:10.380 not a great athlete, but I was a decent athlete.
00:04:12.640 And my mom who raised me and my sister had enough vision
00:04:15.200 to realize that I needed to be around other boys and other men.
00:04:19.020 I cannot remember a time where I wasn't playing soccer
00:04:21.660 or football or baseball or all three.
00:04:24.060 And through that time on the football field and the baseball diamond,
00:04:27.380 I learned a ton about how to interact with other men.
00:04:30.200 I had some incredible coaches who I considered at the time
00:04:33.420 to be quasi-father figures.
00:04:35.660 And I did fairly well in sports and school.
00:04:38.800 I joined the military when I was in high school
00:04:40.700 and I had the opportunity to serve my country for eight years,
00:04:44.240 including an active duty tour in Iraq in 2005 through 2006.
00:04:50.700 And that was another opportunity for me to learn how to be a man
00:04:54.180 and how men interact with each other.
00:04:57.080 Things in my life have never been that bad.
00:05:00.720 I know it's very easy for a lot of people to talk about
00:05:03.400 how horrible things were and the poverty they came from.
00:05:06.600 That wasn't me.
00:05:07.480 I didn't grow up extremely poor.
00:05:09.380 My mom did a great job providing for us.
00:05:11.500 I never got into much trouble.
00:05:12.880 Frankly, I've always been a middle of the pack kind of guy.
00:05:16.420 And it wasn't until I got married and started having kids
00:05:18.760 that these problems of my youth growing up without a father figure
00:05:22.020 really started to make themselves known.
00:05:25.140 So a lot of you listening to me right now
00:05:26.380 know that my marriage almost ended in divorce.
00:05:28.880 I've been very vocal about that.
00:05:30.480 My wife and I went through a separation
00:05:32.080 that we almost did not recover from.
00:05:34.200 I had a one-year-old son at the time.
00:05:36.000 I remember nights alone in our home
00:05:37.480 where I would literally lay on the floor
00:05:40.080 and talk to a picture of my son on the wall
00:05:43.540 and tell him I was going to get him back.
00:05:45.800 I remember how dark that time was for me.
00:05:48.760 And looking back at it now
00:05:50.640 and through all the work that I've done on myself,
00:05:52.680 I realized that I created that situation.
00:05:56.100 And when I tell people that,
00:05:57.880 I usually get something like,
00:05:59.360 well, it takes two in a relationship.
00:06:01.040 It probably was her fault too.
00:06:02.360 And while I can certainly see the validity in that,
00:06:05.000 and I agree to a point,
00:06:06.520 there's absolutely nothing that I can do
00:06:08.780 to control another person, in this case, my wife.
00:06:12.040 But I remember the road I was on.
00:06:14.300 I remember the cross street I was passing through
00:06:17.240 when it hit me like a ton of bricks
00:06:18.880 that my marriage might be over,
00:06:20.920 but I was determined to change myself.
00:06:23.580 And I was determined to become the man
00:06:25.300 that I knew, deep down,
00:06:26.900 I knew I was capable of becoming.
00:06:28.840 And if my marriage was over,
00:06:30.300 I was going to be the best catch I could be
00:06:32.660 for the next woman to come into my life.
00:06:34.880 And so it began.
00:06:36.320 I started working out.
00:06:37.360 I got my finances in order.
00:06:38.580 I started consuming self-help type information.
00:06:41.900 I found mentors and coaches in my business.
00:06:45.180 Long story short,
00:06:46.440 my wife recognized those changes in me.
00:06:48.680 She was attracted to that.
00:06:50.120 I was becoming the man that she initially married.
00:06:53.320 We will be married for 13 years this year.
00:06:55.780 We've got four incredible children.
00:06:58.220 And yes, we do have hard times
00:06:59.860 and we have our disagreements and fights
00:07:01.260 and things like that,
00:07:02.040 but both of us are stronger
00:07:03.300 having gone through that time.
00:07:06.040 But for the longest time, guys,
00:07:07.820 I was afraid to tell anybody about those times.
00:07:10.800 I was worried what they might think of me
00:07:13.460 and that they would judge who I was,
00:07:16.340 what type of man that I was.
00:07:17.780 But I started to open up more and more.
00:07:20.320 And I realized that there were so many men in my life
00:07:23.160 who were experiencing very similar things,
00:07:26.280 but weren't really willing to talk about it.
00:07:29.180 And I recognized that men needed help
00:07:31.700 in some of these areas.
00:07:33.180 And while I certainly don't have this thing figured out,
00:07:36.420 I've learned some things.
00:07:37.400 And now it's become my life's mission
00:07:39.740 to share what I know,
00:07:41.180 the good, the bad, the ugly, the right, the wrong,
00:07:43.560 so that I can be a catalyst for change
00:07:45.680 in the lives of millions of men across this planet.
00:07:48.360 I know there's a lot of information out there
00:07:50.240 on how to be a better man.
00:07:51.260 There's podcasts and books and websites,
00:07:54.560 YouTube channels, social media channels,
00:07:56.040 just about every other form of content.
00:07:57.640 But I knew I had something to say.
00:07:59.760 And this little voice kept calling to me,
00:08:01.880 saying it was time for me to throw my hat in the ring.
00:08:04.120 And that's exactly what I did in March of 2015.
00:08:07.240 And since then, the message of Order of Man,
00:08:09.740 which is about teaching men
00:08:10.900 that it's our responsibility to protect
00:08:13.620 and provide and preside in our families
00:08:15.860 and our businesses, our communities, our lives.
00:08:18.580 That's what makes us men.
00:08:20.620 And that message has spanned the entire planet.
00:08:22.680 We've impacted hundreds of thousands of men.
00:08:24.860 Our podcast is downloaded nearly 300,000 times
00:08:27.880 each and every month.
00:08:29.220 And guys, we're just getting started.
00:08:30.980 It's a testament to the power of men
00:08:33.240 banding together in a common cause,
00:08:35.180 a common message, a common goal.
00:08:37.760 Now I'm looking at this and I'm looking at the time.
00:08:39.180 I might have to save some of my takeaways
00:08:40.880 over the past couple of years for another show
00:08:42.820 for the sake of time.
00:08:43.960 But let me give you just a quick rundown
00:08:45.640 of my biggest lessons.
00:08:47.320 First, people need to hear what you have to say.
00:08:51.320 We've had experiences other people have
00:08:54.520 or are currently going through.
00:08:56.080 We have the answers that someone else might need.
00:08:59.180 We need to continually find a way
00:09:01.000 to overcome that fear of rejection
00:09:02.820 in sharing that message.
00:09:04.780 Second, there is no perfect.
00:09:07.760 That is a myth, gentlemen.
00:09:09.200 If we continue to wait for everything to be perfect,
00:09:11.940 we will never execute.
00:09:14.080 And one day as we're laying on our deathbeds,
00:09:16.420 we'll look back at our life and ask,
00:09:18.540 why didn't I do that one thing
00:09:20.560 that I always wanted to do?
00:09:23.060 Third, if you are waiting for permission,
00:09:26.540 get prepared to wait an extremely long time.
00:09:30.160 Nobody is going to give you permission to do something bold.
00:09:33.600 That is 100% on you.
00:09:36.240 Next, not everybody is going to believe in you.
00:09:39.340 Who cares?
00:09:40.020 You are not in this for them.
00:09:42.380 They're not going to pay your bills.
00:09:44.060 This is your life.
00:09:45.740 Not everybody is going to believe in you,
00:09:47.740 but the right people are.
00:09:49.440 And those are the people that really matter.
00:09:51.820 And the last point that I wanted to share with you
00:09:53.460 is consistency.
00:09:55.080 Consistency in action is the key to results in your life.
00:09:59.360 Consistency in action is the key to results in your life.
00:10:03.580 Whether you're trying to build a deep
00:10:05.760 and intimate relationship with your wife
00:10:07.420 or get in shape or start a business
00:10:09.980 or grow your bank account,
00:10:11.740 the key is always to stay consistent in your action.
00:10:15.700 That's one of the few things I've done very well
00:10:18.040 over the past several years.
00:10:19.780 I don't know if that's because I'm too stubborn
00:10:22.420 or too stupid or what to know any better,
00:10:25.080 but consistency has always, always served me well.
00:10:27.780 Gentlemen, I hope that sheds some light into who I am
00:10:30.960 and what the mission of the order is.
00:10:33.580 I want to thank you genuinely from the bottom of my heart.
00:10:36.880 This movement would not exist without you.
00:10:40.180 I would not be having this conversation with you
00:10:42.380 if you weren't here to receive it.
00:10:44.720 So I ask that you keep sharing this message.
00:10:47.120 I ask that you continue to invite men in your life
00:10:49.540 to the powerful movement all of us are creating.
00:10:52.500 But above all, I ask that you always, always take action
00:10:56.960 and you become the man that you were meant to be.
00:11:00.060 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:11:03.020 If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:11:04.680 and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:11:07.060 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:11:10.180 Thank you, everybody.
00:11:14.020 Too much, too.
00:11:27.480 Thank you.
00:11:28.840 Thank you.