Order of Man - March 24, 2017


FFN 048： Personal Protocols


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

210.14444

Word Count

2,095

Sentence Count

109

Misogynist Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode, Ryan discusses the importance of having a set of personal protocols for how you conduct yourself in any situation, situation, conversation, engagement, or interaction with others. He explains why this is so important, and how it can make all the difference between success and failure.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man, the podcast that you are listening to right now.
00:00:32.160 I am doing things a little differently today, guys. I'm recording this episode at my stand-up desk.
00:00:37.000 If you're anything like me, you sit in the office all day long. You're hunched over a computer doing your work.
00:00:41.780 If not, you're probably rolling your eyes at me right now. Either way, I'm sick of sitting all the time, so I bought this stand-up desk to keep me on my feet a little more
00:00:49.340 and hopefully keep myself a little bit more energetic as I share some thoughts with you on this podcast, which is what I'm going to do here in a second or two.
00:00:56.820 Now, as you know, because you're listening to it, we have this show, our Friday Field Notes, but we also have an interview show,
00:01:02.500 which we release each and every Tuesday with some of the world's most successful men.
00:01:06.240 Tim Kennedy, Jocko Willing, Brett McKay, Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone, Andy Priscilla, and of course, a whole lot more.
00:01:12.140 So if you haven't subscribed, just go ahead and do that right now.
00:01:14.740 And while you're there, make sure, if you would, please leave us an iTunes rating and review and let us know just how good we are doing.
00:01:21.780 Yes, it does help us, and it certainly strokes my ego, but it's also a way for you to share some information with your boys,
00:01:27.260 your dad, your brother, coworkers, friends, whoever, to help those men improve in their lives as well.
00:01:33.200 Now, one last thing before I talk with you about the topic of today.
00:01:36.300 If you have not already done so, go join our closed Facebook group.
00:01:39.920 This is exclusively for men who are interested in having a further discussion about what we're going to be talking about here today
00:01:45.260 and about a thousand other conversations important to the topic of masculinity.
00:01:49.400 You can do that at facebook.com slash groups slash order of men.
00:01:53.200 All right, let's have this conversation about personal protocols.
00:01:57.240 What do I mean when I say personal protocols?
00:01:59.080 Essentially, I'm talking about the way that you are going to conduct yourself in any environment, situation, conversation, engagement, activity, any day.
00:02:08.380 Now, this might sound like a no-brainer and that everyone should have their set of procedures for the way that they're going to conduct their affairs,
00:02:15.200 but I think you'd be surprised, maybe not, to know how few men actually have something like this in place for every aspect of their lives.
00:02:23.400 A personal protocol could be something that you've formally written out.
00:02:27.000 It could be something that you think about prior to jumping into a given situation,
00:02:30.180 but knowing exactly how you're going to behave before you get into that engagement
00:02:35.520 is likely going to spell the difference between a successful situation and an unsuccessful one.
00:02:41.120 One of my favorite quotes is,
00:02:42.600 we don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.
00:02:46.940 So how does that apply here?
00:02:48.120 Well, unless you know exactly how you are going to act because you've thought about it,
00:02:53.560 you've trained for it, you've rehearsed it,
00:02:55.340 you've caught yourself in the trap of not implementing a protocol,
00:02:59.060 you're likely to get reckless with yourself.
00:03:00.760 I know I have and others and get yourself, frankly, into a world of hurt,
00:03:05.120 but this goes so much further than physical training only.
00:03:08.680 It sounds like that, but it permeates every element of your life
00:03:11.840 from your physical well-being to your spiritual health,
00:03:15.980 to your emotional and mental fortitude.
00:03:17.900 And of course, just about anywhere in between.
00:03:20.060 In fact, I have a small, a very small, simple little protocol,
00:03:24.200 even for Facebook arguments of all things.
00:03:26.820 This is my one response rule.
00:03:29.000 Whenever I have someone who hates what I have to say
00:03:31.880 or resorts to attacking me personally,
00:03:34.220 I respond once, just once to their comment.
00:03:37.740 Regardless of what they have to say after that, I do not respond.
00:03:41.200 It's been hard, especially when I have something clever to say back,
00:03:45.620 but I can't even imagine how much time and energy and headache
00:03:50.120 this simple strategy has saved me.
00:03:52.440 And that, my friends, is the point of a personal protocol.
00:03:56.860 And that's what I want to touch on first.
00:03:58.440 Why it's critical that you incorporate your own set of protocols.
00:04:02.080 The list is long, but for the sake of time,
00:04:03.880 I'm going to talk about three primary reasons
00:04:05.840 why you may want to adopt this in your life.
00:04:08.260 First, let's talk about your resources for a minute.
00:04:11.420 They are finite.
00:04:13.140 Your money, your time, your energy.
00:04:15.140 There have been studies even that have showed
00:04:17.140 that your willpower is fleeting.
00:04:19.700 So if you run around like a chicken with your head cut off
00:04:21.780 without a care in the world until something actually happens,
00:04:24.820 you're bound to drain or completely eliminate these resources
00:04:28.500 for the time that you might actually need them.
00:04:31.640 So we run around all day engaging in these low value activities.
00:04:35.040 And unless we become aware of how we spend our energy
00:04:38.360 and our resources, we're just going to run out too soon.
00:04:41.340 The next point is that establishing personal protocols
00:04:43.680 allows you to reduce emotional mistakes.
00:04:46.260 How many times have you found yourself in a conversation
00:04:49.220 with your wife or your boss or whoever
00:04:52.080 only to find yourself pissed off at each other
00:04:54.080 without even remembering what that argument was about?
00:04:56.680 I have, and I can point to the fact
00:04:58.180 that I went into a conversation
00:05:00.460 without a very clear expectation of what I actually wanted
00:05:04.020 and how I was going to get it.
00:05:05.720 So whether it's asking for a raise
00:05:08.380 or starting a project with your team,
00:05:10.380 having a conversation with your wife,
00:05:12.600 disciplining your children,
00:05:13.460 you have to have a protocol in place
00:05:16.760 that allows you to keep your cool,
00:05:19.220 regardless of how someone else may be behaving.
00:05:23.520 Not only is it good for your sanity,
00:05:25.140 but it's going to help you get more of what you want.
00:05:27.340 And the third point I want to make is maximum efficiency.
00:05:30.680 I already alluded to this,
00:05:31.800 but we spend so much time focused on things that don't matter
00:05:34.660 when in all reality, if we just spent a little more time
00:05:37.680 upfront thinking about how we're going to execute,
00:05:41.080 can you imagine how much more effective we'd be?
00:05:44.180 What if all you did was focus
00:05:46.240 on what I call high value targets
00:05:48.420 and you did that all day long?
00:05:49.900 How much more money would you have in the bank account?
00:05:52.140 How much better of a relationship
00:05:53.940 would you have with your wife and your children?
00:05:55.680 How many more pounds would you drop?
00:05:58.000 But I can hear it now.
00:05:58.800 Ryan, you can't focus on high value targets all day long.
00:06:01.980 I agree, but I promise
00:06:04.160 there are inefficiencies in your day
00:06:06.620 that if you spent a little more time
00:06:08.720 focusing on what those were,
00:06:10.560 you'd be surprised how much better you could do.
00:06:14.000 So how do we do this?
00:06:15.480 How do we establish our own set of protocols?
00:06:19.220 You do it with a very simple three-step process.
00:06:23.500 Step one, here it is guys.
00:06:25.020 Step one, strategize.
00:06:26.760 I'm not going to talk too much about this
00:06:28.660 or any of the three at length
00:06:29.920 because I've talked a lot about them in the past.
00:06:31.860 But what I will say is that it's critical
00:06:33.420 that you know, again, exactly what you want
00:06:35.960 and how exactly you're going to get it.
00:06:38.940 Keep your eye fixed on the prize,
00:06:40.580 the result that you want
00:06:42.040 and calculate the best way to get it.
00:06:44.900 Next, you've got to execute.
00:06:46.660 You've actually got to implement your strategy.
00:06:48.880 It's probably not going to be perfect,
00:06:50.200 but unless you're willing to test your hypothesis,
00:06:52.880 you're never going to improve.
00:06:54.640 You're never going to get any better.
00:06:56.080 So get to work, execute the best of your ability,
00:06:58.660 then cap your execution with the third step,
00:07:01.060 which is to analyze.
00:07:02.520 Again, not going to get too deep into this one
00:07:04.660 because we've talked about it before,
00:07:05.840 but this is your after action review.
00:07:08.200 If you haven't heard about this concept
00:07:09.760 or want to know more,
00:07:10.660 you can go to orderman.com slash after action review.
00:07:13.400 I've got a worksheet there
00:07:14.140 that will help you walk through this,
00:07:15.280 but you need to see if what you planned
00:07:18.660 and what you actually did worked.
00:07:20.300 If it works, great.
00:07:21.500 Write it down in your after action review
00:07:23.240 and do it again tomorrow.
00:07:24.600 If it doesn't, write it down
00:07:26.620 and do something different tomorrow.
00:07:28.560 You string this process together over days
00:07:30.920 and months and years and decades,
00:07:33.720 you will not fail.
00:07:35.680 So now that you know the benefits,
00:07:37.920 you know how to do it.
00:07:39.200 I want to give you a couple of quick examples
00:07:40.780 to get your creativity flowing
00:07:42.920 before I sign out for the day.
00:07:44.480 I'm only skimming the surface here.
00:07:46.200 There's plenty of other examples,
00:07:47.420 but this is just going to get you going.
00:07:49.240 So you should have a personal protocol
00:07:51.080 for the way that you budget your money.
00:07:53.940 You should have a personal protocol
00:07:55.500 for the conversations that you have with your wife
00:07:58.460 and how you two decide to discipline your children.
00:08:01.340 You should have a protocol
00:08:02.160 for the way that you start your day
00:08:03.640 and the way that you end your day.
00:08:05.440 You should have a protocol
00:08:06.660 for the way that you conduct your projects of work.
00:08:09.480 You should have a protocol
00:08:10.760 for the way the chores are handled at home.
00:08:13.740 You should have a protocol
00:08:14.940 for the way you'll communicate
00:08:16.600 in a difficult situation
00:08:17.840 or how you'd handle a confrontation
00:08:19.520 or a natural disaster
00:08:21.060 or an active shooter
00:08:22.220 or any other scenario
00:08:23.560 that you might find yourself in.
00:08:25.140 How are you going to handle your workouts
00:08:26.840 or the clothes you wear
00:08:28.260 or the presentations you give?
00:08:29.800 You guys understand this?
00:08:30.700 You should have a personal protocol
00:08:31.980 for anything and everything.
00:08:35.180 I know it's not easy.
00:08:36.440 I know it's going to take some work.
00:08:37.820 It has for me.
00:08:38.840 And I'm only skimming the surface
00:08:39.980 on the protocols
00:08:41.060 that I will create for myself.
00:08:42.420 But at the end of the day,
00:08:43.380 I know it will be worth it
00:08:45.580 because I have that many more resources,
00:08:48.020 the ability to control my emotions,
00:08:50.620 and I'll be able to operate
00:08:52.780 with maximum efficiency.
00:08:53.840 So if you want to learn more
00:08:55.240 about this strategy
00:08:56.620 and all the other strategies
00:08:57.640 that we can share with you
00:08:58.440 for an effective life,
00:08:59.460 I want to take a quick second
00:09:00.640 and invite you to join our mastermind,
00:09:02.240 the Iron Council.
00:09:03.240 Inside the Iron Council,
00:09:04.520 you're going to be able to connect
00:09:05.360 with other like-minded men
00:09:06.360 who are on a very similar journey as you.
00:09:09.620 You're going to get the tools,
00:09:10.900 the resources,
00:09:11.800 the strategies like this one,
00:09:13.160 personal protocols,
00:09:14.120 and the accountability
00:09:15.160 to help you take your life
00:09:16.420 to the next level.
00:09:17.500 You can learn more about us
00:09:18.740 and claim your seat at the table
00:09:20.580 at orderofman.com
00:09:21.720 slash Iron Council.
00:09:22.880 Guys, I hope to see you there,
00:09:24.440 but until next week, gentlemen,
00:09:25.940 establish those protocols in your life,
00:09:28.380 take the necessary action,
00:09:30.100 and become the man
00:09:30.920 you were meant to be.
00:09:32.660 Thank you for listening
00:09:33.540 to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:35.640 If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:09:37.260 and be more of the man
00:09:38.400 you were meant to be,
00:09:39.580 we invite you to join the order
00:09:40.980 at orderofman.com.
00:09:42.780 What are all you doing?
00:09:44.340 What are all you doing?
00:09:45.940 What are all you doing?
00:09:46.240 How are you doing?
00:09:47.340 What are all you doing?
00:09:47.560 What are you doing?
00:09:48.500 What are you doing?
00:09:49.360 What are you doing?
00:09:50.280 How are you doing?
00:09:51.900 What are you doing?
00:09:52.840 What are you working?
00:09:53.340 What are you doing?
00:09:53.940 What are you doing?
00:09:54.340 What do you doing?
00:09:55.620 What are you doing?
00:09:56.020 What are you doing?
00:09:57.660 Do you want me to do something you do?