Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.

00:00:32.340 Whether you are tuning in for the first time or you've been listening to every episode for the last two years,

00:00:37.660 I do want to welcome you to the manliest podcast available.

00:00:41.480 As you can tell by the sound of my voice, I am feeling a lot better this week than I was last week,

00:00:46.020 and I'm ready to tackle this thing with you today.

00:00:48.080 A couple of quick housekeeping items before I get into the meat of this discussion, though.

00:00:52.400 First, if you haven't hit that little subscribe button, make sure that you do that now so you never miss your Friday Field Notes or our interview show,

00:01:00.940 which is released each Tuesday.

00:01:02.500 Earlier this week, I had a conversation with Dr. Robert Glover, who is the author of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.

00:01:09.880 Guys, that podcast has produced more feedback, more engagement than just about any other show.

00:01:14.680 So if you haven't heard that one yet, make sure you go check that out.

00:01:17.300 Second, head over to our Facebook group with just shy of 28,000 members now.

00:01:23.340 We're having some incredible conversations on all the important subjects of masculinity,

00:01:28.040 and I know you're going to want to participate in that.

00:01:30.120 You can do that at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:01:33.860 Other than that, if you like what I or any of our guests have to say,

00:01:37.600 I ask that you share this podcast with one,

00:01:39.900 just one of your friends or your brothers, your dad, your coworkers,

00:01:42.480 basically any other man that you think could use some of the message that we are sharing.

00:01:46.800 Guys, let's dive into the topic of today, which is the question, what if you're wrong?

00:01:52.000 I think this is a critical, a critical question.

00:01:54.480 Quite honestly, it's one that doesn't get asked or even answered a whole lot,

00:01:58.160 but just look around for a minute and see if you can recognize very many people who'd be willing to admit they're wrong

00:02:04.360 and even ask yourself if you're willing to admit to being wrong.

00:02:08.380 And I'd bet that it's significantly easier for most of us, including myself, to say that we aren't,

00:02:13.380 that we aren't ever wrong.

00:02:14.380 And the problem with that, believing that we're never wrong,

00:02:16.760 is that it creates and exposes blind spots in our lives, in our relationships, our health, our fitness, politics, business,

00:02:24.480 every area of life.

00:02:25.500 And what ends up happening more often than not is that our egos, it's our egos.

00:02:29.220 It prevents us from seeing that maybe, just maybe, we don't have this thing figured out as much as we'd like.

00:02:35.460 Maybe we don't know as much as we think we do.

00:02:37.740 And maybe there's a new way of looking at this thing that you have not considered.

00:02:43.240 So you've got to ask yourself the question,

00:02:44.980 are you more interested in being right all the time, which is impossible, you and I aren't,

00:02:50.280 or are you more interested in getting the job done?

00:02:53.060 Because sometimes getting that job done requires you to be humble and to say, I don't know.

00:02:58.920 Sometimes it requires you to raise your hand and actually ask for some help.

00:03:02.780 Sometimes it requires you to question what you might believe.

00:03:06.920 This isn't a new concept.

00:03:08.820 It's not even a difficult one to grasp.

00:03:11.540 Every single person listening to this podcast right now knows deep in their heart when they're wrong,

00:03:16.840 but letting those words pass by their lips is so difficult to do.

00:03:22.720 So I want to reframe this a little bit so that it becomes easier for you and me to recognize when we fall short,

00:03:28.260 apologize if needed, and actually fix the problem.

00:03:31.500 Consider for a second the military.

00:03:33.920 Some of the greatest military commanders the world has ever known ask themselves,

00:03:38.920 what if I'm wrong after drafting up a battle plan?

00:03:41.820 For example, they're actually looking to prove themselves wrong because if they can,

00:03:46.460 they've recognized a weak spot and they can address that weak spot before they put lives on the line.

00:03:52.400 Successful CEOs of companies do it all the time.

00:03:54.680 They hire teams and consultants, they run beta tests, they quote-unquote red team,

00:03:59.940 and I can talk about that concept later,

00:04:01.520 but they're actively looking for flaws in their products and their services and their launches

00:04:06.020 because if they can recognize those flaws,

00:04:08.660 they can potentially save the company hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost or potential revenue.

00:04:16.020 Trial lawyers, they understand this concept very well.

00:04:18.840 When crafting opening remarks or defense or prosecution strategies,

00:04:24.480 they don't just consider theirs and their client's perspective,

00:04:27.720 they also consider the opposing side's perspective

00:04:30.480 because if they can anticipate weaknesses in their own strategy,

00:04:33.860 then they can adjust as necessary for that success that they're after, for the win.

00:04:39.140 And this is the beauty of playing devil's advocate with yourself

00:04:42.000 or being your best critic or of a humble heart and a humble mind.

00:04:46.680 You become stronger because you see where you're weak

00:04:49.560 and you give yourself the opportunity to actually do something about it.

00:04:53.720 But considering those examples I just gave you,

00:04:56.020 the military strategy, successful CEOs, trial lawyers,

00:04:59.740 consider how often you and I actually do this in our ordinary everyday lives.

00:05:04.580 Consider the argument for a minute that you just got in with your wife.

00:05:07.940 Was what she was mad about actually your fault?

00:05:11.060 Consider the disagreement you got in on Facebook,

00:05:14.460 and this happens all the time.

00:05:15.600 You were so busy trying to prove that you know it all

00:05:19.320 that you missed an opportunity to learn something new.

00:05:22.900 Consider the project at work.

00:05:24.840 You were so worried about impressing your boss

00:05:26.780 that you neglected to include a critical component

00:05:30.100 or even a person that would have ensured that project's success.

00:05:35.120 So let me tell you again why approaching situations

00:05:37.100 from the position of being wrong is so valuable.

00:05:39.660 It's served very well in my life.

00:05:41.160 Only one of two outcomes will happen when you do this.

00:05:45.600 The first outcome is that you recognize you're wrong

00:05:48.100 and you've learned something new that's going to help enhance your life.

00:05:53.340 That's a victory.

00:05:54.460 The second outcome is that you find out you're not wrong

00:05:57.320 and you solidify your belief in that thing, whatever that thing is.

00:06:02.000 One thing I want to be really clear on though,

00:06:04.380 approaching your life from this perspective that you might be wrong,

00:06:07.500 this is not a permission slip for you to lose confidence.

00:06:11.560 It's not a permission slip for you to overthink

00:06:15.080 and over-scrutinize everything that you do.

00:06:17.660 This is about a healthy level of skepticism in how good you are,

00:06:21.300 but it should come from the position of making you

00:06:23.800 a more productive and a more effective man.

00:06:27.780 And beating yourself up and questioning your intelligence

00:06:31.000 will obviously not do that.

00:06:34.020 All right, so you get it.

00:06:34.760 You know why it's so important to approach your life this way,

00:06:37.160 but how do we do this?

00:06:38.940 Here's three very simple thoughts that I have

00:06:40.880 on approaching your life this way.

00:06:42.620 First, it is okay to ask questions.

00:06:45.040 It's okay to approach everything with that healthy dose of skepticism,

00:06:49.380 but don't get roped into believing

00:06:51.160 that you don't have to ask the same questions

00:06:54.120 that you ask of others to yourself.

00:06:56.320 See, it's easy to buy your own BS,

00:06:58.520 but at the end of the day, that BS is still worthless,

00:07:01.600 regardless of how tightly you might cling onto it.

00:07:04.140 Second, get your emotions out of the way.

00:07:07.620 I'm not saying that emotions are bad.

00:07:09.500 There are times when they serve us well,

00:07:11.160 but when it comes to the things that we do

00:07:12.840 and the projects that we create,

00:07:14.540 sometimes those emotions have a tendency

00:07:16.680 to cloud our judgment.

00:07:18.480 We think way more highly of ourselves

00:07:20.400 than we ought to at times,

00:07:21.780 and I'd argue that if all of us learned

00:07:23.440 to use a little bit more logic

00:07:25.300 and a little bit more reason,

00:07:26.900 a bit more effectively,

00:07:28.420 we'd all be more successful.

00:07:29.800 And the third component of this is be a man of substance.

00:07:33.060 What do I mean by this?

00:07:34.080 I mean that if you're wrong,

00:07:35.760 do something about it.

00:07:38.360 Don't sulk, don't pout,

00:07:40.180 don't throw a temper tantrum,

00:07:41.640 just recognize you didn't get it right

00:07:43.760 and then make the correction.

00:07:45.920 Too many men compound their problems 1.00

00:07:47.920 because they'd rather double down

00:07:50.520 on the lies they tell themselves

00:07:52.160 than face the reality of the situation.

00:07:54.860 So if you make a mistake,

00:07:56.260 just make it fast.

00:07:57.640 That's all I ask, just make it fast.

00:07:59.220 I tell my baseball kids this all the time.

00:08:02.060 If you make a mistake, make it fast,

00:08:04.000 learn from it and don't do it again.

00:08:06.180 It really is that simple.

00:08:08.060 And that's all I have for you today,

00:08:09.440 but I'll leave you with this.

00:08:10.560 It's okay to be wrong now and again,

00:08:12.500 but it's not okay to keep being wrong

00:08:14.380 on the same subject over and over and over again.

00:08:18.520 And on that note,

00:08:19.600 if you want to learn the truth

00:08:21.000 about how you show up

00:08:22.480 and how effective you are,

00:08:24.360 there's nothing in my experience

00:08:26.240 that can replace a group of men

00:08:28.400 who have your back.

00:08:30.180 And that's where the Iron Council comes in.

00:08:31.840 This is an exclusive society of men 1.00

00:08:33.440 who are having the conversations

00:08:35.520 that need to be had.

00:08:37.060 You're going to get the guidance,

00:08:38.020 the tools, resources, accountability

00:08:40.200 from just about 270 brothers

00:08:42.560 from all over the globe

00:08:43.700 to help you see things more clearly

00:08:45.980 and then use that clarity

00:08:47.660 to improve your life.

00:08:48.840 So if you're interested in learning more

00:08:50.060 about us and claiming your seat at the table,

00:08:52.620 you can do so at orderofman.com

00:08:54.720 slash ironcouncil.

00:08:56.340 Until next week, gentlemen,

00:08:57.460 take action and become the man

00:08:59.360 you are meant to be.

00:09:00.660 Thank you for listening

00:09:01.500 to the Order of Man podcast.

00:09:03.580 If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:09:05.240 and be more of the man

00:09:06.360 you were meant to be,

00:09:07.620 we invite you to join the order

00:09:08.960 at orderofman.com.

00:09:10.740 you

00:09:11.380 아서ide of man,

00:09:13.480 we move into the order of man

00:09:14.440 and be more of the man

00:09:14.900 you just want to be.

00:09:16.400 So I will...

00:09:22.360 So...

00:09:22.960 You

FFN 052： What if You're Wrong？

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