Order of Man


FFN 052： What if You're Wrong？


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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Manliest Podcast Available, Ryan talks about the concept of "what if you're wrong" and why it's a critical question to ask yourself. He also discusses the importance of being willing to admit that maybe you're not as right as you think you are.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man.
00:00:32.340 Whether you are tuning in for the first time or you've been listening to every episode for the last two years,
00:00:37.660 I do want to welcome you to the manliest podcast available.
00:00:41.480 As you can tell by the sound of my voice, I am feeling a lot better this week than I was last week,
00:00:46.020 and I'm ready to tackle this thing with you today.
00:00:48.080 A couple of quick housekeeping items before I get into the meat of this discussion, though.
00:00:52.400 First, if you haven't hit that little subscribe button, make sure that you do that now so you never miss your Friday Field Notes or our interview show,
00:01:00.940 which is released each Tuesday.
00:01:02.500 Earlier this week, I had a conversation with Dr. Robert Glover, who is the author of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.
00:01:09.880 Guys, that podcast has produced more feedback, more engagement than just about any other show.
00:01:14.680 So if you haven't heard that one yet, make sure you go check that out.
00:01:17.300 Second, head over to our Facebook group with just shy of 28,000 members now.
00:01:23.340 We're having some incredible conversations on all the important subjects of masculinity,
00:01:28.040 and I know you're going to want to participate in that.
00:01:30.120 You can do that at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:01:33.860 Other than that, if you like what I or any of our guests have to say,
00:01:37.600 I ask that you share this podcast with one,
00:01:39.900 just one of your friends or your brothers, your dad, your coworkers,
00:01:42.480 basically any other man that you think could use some of the message that we are sharing.
00:01:46.800 Guys, let's dive into the topic of today, which is the question, what if you're wrong?
00:01:52.000 I think this is a critical, a critical question.
00:01:54.480 Quite honestly, it's one that doesn't get asked or even answered a whole lot,
00:01:58.160 but just look around for a minute and see if you can recognize very many people who'd be willing to admit they're wrong
00:02:04.360 and even ask yourself if you're willing to admit to being wrong.
00:02:08.380 And I'd bet that it's significantly easier for most of us, including myself, to say that we aren't,
00:02:13.380 that we aren't ever wrong.
00:02:14.380 And the problem with that, believing that we're never wrong,
00:02:16.760 is that it creates and exposes blind spots in our lives, in our relationships, our health, our fitness, politics, business,
00:02:24.480 every area of life.
00:02:25.500 And what ends up happening more often than not is that our egos, it's our egos.
00:02:29.220 It prevents us from seeing that maybe, just maybe, we don't have this thing figured out as much as we'd like.
00:02:35.460 Maybe we don't know as much as we think we do.
00:02:37.740 And maybe there's a new way of looking at this thing that you have not considered.
00:02:43.240 So you've got to ask yourself the question,
00:02:44.980 are you more interested in being right all the time, which is impossible, you and I aren't,
00:02:50.280 or are you more interested in getting the job done?
00:02:53.060 Because sometimes getting that job done requires you to be humble and to say, I don't know.
00:02:58.920 Sometimes it requires you to raise your hand and actually ask for some help.
00:03:02.780 Sometimes it requires you to question what you might believe.
00:03:06.920 This isn't a new concept.
00:03:08.820 It's not even a difficult one to grasp.
00:03:11.540 Every single person listening to this podcast right now knows deep in their heart when they're wrong,
00:03:16.840 but letting those words pass by their lips is so difficult to do.
00:03:22.720 So I want to reframe this a little bit so that it becomes easier for you and me to recognize when we fall short,
00:03:28.260 apologize if needed, and actually fix the problem.
00:03:31.500 Consider for a second the military.
00:03:33.920 Some of the greatest military commanders the world has ever known ask themselves,
00:03:38.920 what if I'm wrong after drafting up a battle plan?
00:03:41.820 For example, they're actually looking to prove themselves wrong because if they can,
00:03:46.460 they've recognized a weak spot and they can address that weak spot before they put lives on the line.
00:03:52.400 Successful CEOs of companies do it all the time.
00:03:54.680 They hire teams and consultants, they run beta tests, they quote-unquote red team,
00:03:59.940 and I can talk about that concept later,
00:04:01.520 but they're actively looking for flaws in their products and their services and their launches
00:04:06.020 because if they can recognize those flaws,
00:04:08.660 they can potentially save the company hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost or potential revenue.
00:04:16.020 Trial lawyers, they understand this concept very well.
00:04:18.840 When crafting opening remarks or defense or prosecution strategies,
00:04:24.480 they don't just consider theirs and their client's perspective,
00:04:27.720 they also consider the opposing side's perspective
00:04:30.480 because if they can anticipate weaknesses in their own strategy,
00:04:33.860 then they can adjust as necessary for that success that they're after, for the win.
00:04:39.140 And this is the beauty of playing devil's advocate with yourself
00:04:42.000 or being your best critic or of a humble heart and a humble mind.
00:04:46.680 You become stronger because you see where you're weak
00:04:49.560 and you give yourself the opportunity to actually do something about it.
00:04:53.720 But considering those examples I just gave you,
00:04:56.020 the military strategy, successful CEOs, trial lawyers,
00:04:59.740 consider how often you and I actually do this in our ordinary everyday lives.
00:05:04.580 Consider the argument for a minute that you just got in with your wife.
00:05:07.940 Was what she was mad about actually your fault?
00:05:11.060 Consider the disagreement you got in on Facebook,
00:05:14.460 and this happens all the time.
00:05:15.600 You were so busy trying to prove that you know it all
00:05:19.320 that you missed an opportunity to learn something new.
00:05:22.900 Consider the project at work.
00:05:24.840 You were so worried about impressing your boss
00:05:26.780 that you neglected to include a critical component
00:05:30.100 or even a person that would have ensured that project's success.
00:05:35.120 So let me tell you again why approaching situations
00:05:37.100 from the position of being wrong is so valuable.
00:05:39.660 It's served very well in my life.
00:05:41.160 Only one of two outcomes will happen when you do this.
00:05:45.600 The first outcome is that you recognize you're wrong
00:05:48.100 and you've learned something new that's going to help enhance your life.
00:05:53.340 That's a victory.
00:05:54.460 The second outcome is that you find out you're not wrong
00:05:57.320 and you solidify your belief in that thing, whatever that thing is.
00:06:02.000 One thing I want to be really clear on though,
00:06:04.380 approaching your life from this perspective that you might be wrong,
00:06:07.500 this is not a permission slip for you to lose confidence.
00:06:11.560 It's not a permission slip for you to overthink
00:06:15.080 and over-scrutinize everything that you do.
00:06:17.660 This is about a healthy level of skepticism in how good you are,
00:06:21.300 but it should come from the position of making you
00:06:23.800 a more productive and a more effective man.
00:06:27.780 And beating yourself up and questioning your intelligence
00:06:31.000 will obviously not do that.
00:06:34.020 All right, so you get it.
00:06:34.760 You know why it's so important to approach your life this way,
00:06:37.160 but how do we do this?
00:06:38.940 Here's three very simple thoughts that I have
00:06:40.880 on approaching your life this way.
00:06:42.620 First, it is okay to ask questions.
00:06:45.040 It's okay to approach everything with that healthy dose of skepticism,
00:06:49.380 but don't get roped into believing
00:06:51.160 that you don't have to ask the same questions
00:06:54.120 that you ask of others to yourself.
00:06:56.320 See, it's easy to buy your own BS,
00:06:58.520 but at the end of the day, that BS is still worthless,
00:07:01.600 regardless of how tightly you might cling onto it.
00:07:04.140 Second, get your emotions out of the way.
00:07:07.620 I'm not saying that emotions are bad.
00:07:09.500 There are times when they serve us well,
00:07:11.160 but when it comes to the things that we do
00:07:12.840 and the projects that we create,
00:07:14.540 sometimes those emotions have a tendency
00:07:16.680 to cloud our judgment.
00:07:18.480 We think way more highly of ourselves
00:07:20.400 than we ought to at times,
00:07:21.780 and I'd argue that if all of us learned
00:07:23.440 to use a little bit more logic
00:07:25.300 and a little bit more reason,
00:07:26.900 a bit more effectively,
00:07:28.420 we'd all be more successful.
00:07:29.800 And the third component of this is be a man of substance.
00:07:33.060 What do I mean by this?
00:07:34.080 I mean that if you're wrong,
00:07:35.760 do something about it.
00:07:38.360 Don't sulk, don't pout,
00:07:40.180 don't throw a temper tantrum,
00:07:41.640 just recognize you didn't get it right
00:07:43.760 and then make the correction.
00:07:45.920 Too many men compound their problems 1.00
00:07:47.920 because they'd rather double down
00:07:50.520 on the lies they tell themselves
00:07:52.160 than face the reality of the situation.
00:07:54.860 So if you make a mistake,
00:07:56.260 just make it fast.
00:07:57.640 That's all I ask, just make it fast.
00:07:59.220 I tell my baseball kids this all the time.
00:08:02.060 If you make a mistake, make it fast,
00:08:04.000 learn from it and don't do it again.
00:08:06.180 It really is that simple.
00:08:08.060 And that's all I have for you today,
00:08:09.440 but I'll leave you with this.
00:08:10.560 It's okay to be wrong now and again,
00:08:12.500 but it's not okay to keep being wrong
00:08:14.380 on the same subject over and over and over again.
00:08:18.520 And on that note,
00:08:19.600 if you want to learn the truth
00:08:21.000 about how you show up
00:08:22.480 and how effective you are,
00:08:24.360 there's nothing in my experience
00:08:26.240 that can replace a group of men
00:08:28.400 who have your back.
00:08:30.180 And that's where the Iron Council comes in.
00:08:31.840 This is an exclusive society of men 1.00
00:08:33.440 who are having the conversations
00:08:35.520 that need to be had.
00:08:37.060 You're going to get the guidance,
00:08:38.020 the tools, resources, accountability
00:08:40.200 from just about 270 brothers
00:08:42.560 from all over the globe
00:08:43.700 to help you see things more clearly
00:08:45.980 and then use that clarity
00:08:47.660 to improve your life.
00:08:48.840 So if you're interested in learning more
00:08:50.060 about us and claiming your seat at the table,
00:08:52.620 you can do so at orderofman.com
00:08:54.720 slash ironcouncil.
00:08:56.340 Until next week, gentlemen,
00:08:57.460 take action and become the man
00:08:59.360 you are meant to be.
00:09:00.660 Thank you for listening
00:09:01.500 to the Order of Man podcast.
00:09:03.580 If you're ready to take charge of your life
00:09:05.240 and be more of the man
00:09:06.360 you were meant to be,
00:09:07.620 we invite you to join the order
00:09:08.960 at orderofman.com.
00:09:10.740 you
00:09:11.380 ì•„ì„œide of man,
00:09:13.480 we move into the order of man
00:09:14.440 and be more of the man
00:09:14.900 you just want to be.
00:09:16.400 So I will...
00:09:22.360 So...
00:09:22.960 You